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whoisbxcky · 1 year

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Close Encounters of the Avenging Kind

summary: One minute, you were jogging through the park, putting all your passion into completing your daily run in a new record time. The next, you were colliding with Bucky Barnes. Literally, physical collision. You’ll be bruised tomorrow. What could possibly go wrong?

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 3k

warnings: um, boo boos on the knees? some light swearing? no one’s dead yet?

author’s note: i lied. I’m back, baby.

No, I’m kidding. This one’s been sat in my drafts for a while and I figured I may as well put it out there. Someone might enjoy it, you never know. Peace. ~ T.

Twenty laps down, twenty more to go. Let’s do this.

You inhaled deeply, losing yourself in the rhythmic beating of your footsteps upon the hardened summer dirt at your feet as passing trees became green smudges in your peripheral.

The July morning air was cool and crisp, and you caught the sound of New York city coming to life in the distance as the sun rose over the park you were running laps through.

You much preferred this time of day- it was peaceful being up and about while the rest of the city slept soundly. You found comfort in the early morning solitude, or under the watchful gaze of the setting sun. Midday meant people, and people you weren’t quite so hot on.

It wasn’t that you thought yourself above anyone else, you just struggled to find solace in the company of others. Ever since that day…

A loose root under your pacing feet threatened to send you sprawling, and you shook your head in an effort to regain focus. Now was no time to dwell on the past- you had a PB to break.

You concentrated on your steady breathing as you rounded the corner with veered off into a wooded area on the northern end of the park- an area scarcely populated due to it dark reputation for disreputable activities. You never bothered too much about taking this route on your runs, it wasn’t like any potential attacker was going to catch up with you anyway, right?

You grinned to yourself, losing yourself in your stride once more, when suddenly movement to your right caused you to turn your head-

A decision you regretted immediately, as it put your face directly in the firing line as a hulking figure clad all in black barrelled towards you. The figure collided painfully with your unprepared form and sent you both hurtling to the ground in a mess of limbs and yelling.

You cried out as you skidded along the dirt, your surprise attacker landing on top of you for a brief moment before rolling further onto the path. The wind was knocked clean out of you from the sheer size of the stranger, and after coming to a stop, you curled up as you willed the air to return to your lungs.

You lay there for what felt like an eternity, internally assessing the damage. Your skin stung where it had scraped the ground, and you were certain you’d be sporting an impressive shade of blue and purple along your left temple and cheek come morning, but nothing felt broken to your knowledge.

With a wince, you rolled onto your back, groaning as you forced yourself to sit upright. You blinked thrice as your eyes regained focus after being scrunched closed for a moment and settled on the heaped figure to your right as it too began to right itself.

In an instant, your fear, confusion and pain turned to seething rage. What kind of idiot sprinted out of the hedge row like that at this time of day? The audacity.

You glared at the figure, a man with jet black hair tied back at the nape of his neck, you noted as he righted himself, turning to face you.

“Hey, asshole, why don’t you try watching where you’re-… Holy sh…-“ You stared, eyes wide and mouth agape at the face not two meters from your own. Steel blue eyes gazed right back, equally perplexed with just a shade of embarrassment beginning to seep into their expression. “You’re… You…”

You trailed off as the man peeled himself off the floor, rising to his full height. For a moment he glared at you, eyes narrowed, before slowly closing the gap between you and tentatively extending one metal arm toward you.

“Bucky.” He muttered, glancing between your bedraggled form and his palm for a few moments before sighing.

Bucky freaking Barnes? No way.

You could barely contain the gaping of your mouth as you stared up at the man before you. A man you had seen the face of countless times on the news over the years- Hydra soldier turned Avenger. He was pretty hot shit in this city, all of the Avengers were. And you’d just called him an asshole. Figures.

You barely had time to react as the super solider reached down, easily sliding his arm around your waist and hoisting you upright as you continued to stare at him incredulously. You were vaguely aware of the pain that radiated throughout your entire body at the sudden movement, but you were too busy taking in the firm muscles supporting your frame, the scent of sweat and now earth radiating off him. If you were mad about him nearly flattening you, it was being appeased somewhat by just how attractive the guy was. Much to your annoyance.

Another moment of silence. You vaguely noted that Bucky’s arm remained around your waist as his eyes scanned the full length of your body, looking for any sign of bodily harm his hulking figure may have caused.

“Everything looks good to me-“ Bucky broke off, his cheeks flashing an impressive shade of magenta as he took note of how that statement sounded. “I mean… You don’t look… Hurt. Are you hurt? Please tell me you’re not hurt.”

He gave a start on realizing that his arm was still gripping your waist and pulled back so hastily you thought you might have scalded him. You took note of the tension in his shoulders, the sweat forming on his brow, the way his hand ran through his hair as he began to pace in front of you.

“You look stressed.” You managed finally.

Bucky faltered mid-step, his head turning slowly to face you.

“Stressed?” He hissed.

You shrugged.

“Just an observation.”

Bucky barked a short sharp laugh that held no humour, before resuming his pacing.

“Well, hell, let’s see. My first solo mission has been totally compromised; my target now knows I’m after him and just tried to blow me up; I’m lost in the middle of god knows where, with no means of communication, direction or transport; and to top it all of I’ve just almost flattened a civilian to death. So, yeah, I guess you could say I’m a little on edge.” He ended his rant with a swift jab at the nearest tree and you winced.

There was a moment of silence, then:

“Rosendale.”

“What?”

“Rosendale. Rosendale Park. That’s where we are.” You gestured to the foliage around you matter-of-factly.

“Fantastic.” Bucky retorted, running his hand through his now dishevelled locks once again. “And how exactly does one get back to the city from Rosendale Park?”

You paused for a moment, considering.

“You could always catch a bus?”

If looks could kill, you’d have died, been resurrected, and died again in the split-second Bucky’s eyes met your own. You gulped.

“… Or I could drive you.” You shrugged, reaching into the pocket of your gym shorts and dangling your keys in front of you nonchalantly.

“Miss, you have no idea who I even am-“

“Sure I do.” You interrupted, “you’re Bucky Barnes. Metal arm and all.” You nodded to the glistening silver limb at his side. Bucky sighed.

“What I meant to say was, you don’t know me personally. And I just hit you. Accidently of course, I mean I never meant…” Bucky trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose. You snorted.

“Well yeah, that wasn’t very punk rock of you.” You replied with a shrug, “but you’re looking like you could do with a favour right now. You mentioned a mission…?”

“Classified.” Bucky cut you off with a deadpan expression. “It’s a classified mission. I should never have brought it up, and I need to get going.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking around with an exasperated sigh.

You paused, reaching out to flick a piece of bark off his shirt sleeve. He winced.

“Okay, classified mission, sounds important.” You looked Bucky over, studiously trying to ignore just how stunning the man before you was, even with the bedraggled I-just-got-rolled-in-the-dirt look going on. “Important enough that maybe accepting a ride back to wherever it is superheroes hang out from a kind, slightly affronted at being ran over, but willing stranger nonetheless wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world?”

Bucky remained silent, his striking azure eyes never leaving yours, almost as if he were trying to see right through you to your very core.

You sighed.

“Seriously, it’s no trouble. My car is parked five minutes from here. Plus, it’s not like I can finish the next twenty laps like this…” You trailed off, gesturing to the filthy, scraped up skin on your legs and arms.

Bucky gulped and paused for a minute, his expression slightly distressed. But after a beat, he let out a defeated sign, and nodded.

“A ride back to the city would be… Agreeable. Thanks...?” Bucky trailed off.

“Y/N. Pleased to meet ‘ya.” You responded brightly, extending a hand to him.

Bucky stared at it like it was made of worms. But reached out to take it nonetheless.

“Charmed, Y/N.” Bucky muttered, releasing your hand and moving to walk down the path, but coming up short when he heard no movement behind him. He gave you a quizzical look, and you smiled sweetly in response.

“This is New York.”

“… Well spotted?”

You snorted, “nothing is free in New York, you want me to take you in New York City traffic at peak time, which I will happily do. But… Well on account of you know, flattening me and all, only seems fair you make it worth my while.”

Bucky stared at you in disbelief for a moment, “but… But, you offered-“

He paused, eyes fixated on the sharp toothed grim you were shooting him. You had to admit, you felt pretty bad pulling a fast one on the guy like this. But through your musings over his physical attributes, it had occurred to you that this man was a killing machine. A certifiable badass. The kind of guy no one could mess with… Or hurt… And you just couldn’t pass up on the opportunity that was presenting itself to you in that moment.

There was another moments silence before shaking his head and setting his teeth, his arms folded over his impressively broad chest.

“Fine. I don’t have time for this. What do you want? An autograph? Dinner with Steve? Name your price, I’m on a bit of a tight schedule in case you’d forgotten…-“

“Train me.” You interrupted bluntly.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Train me. Would you like it in Spanish? Russian perhaps?” You offered sweetly.

“I- Train you to do what, exactly?” Bucky seethed.

“Fight, of course.”

“No way, not a chance.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

“Not a very compelling argument-“

“Because,” Bucky snarled, clearly losing his patience. He stepped towards you and gripped you by the arms, “I don’t fight. I kill.”

“Well then,” You glanced at his metal hand wrapped around your arm, fighting back a shiver as the cool metal pinched your skin, “it’ll be an educational experience for the both of us.”

Bucky stared at you for a moment, before coming to and hastily releasing you from him grasp. You let out a breath you were unaware of holding.

“Why?” Buck murmured so quietly you almost missed it.

“Why what?”

“Why do you want me to teach you to fight?” He continued, his tone markedly gentler than before.

You faltered then. You didn’t know this man. Hell, based on first impressions, you didn’t even like him much. You couldn’t just reveal your deepest darkest secret to him straight off the bat.

“My personal trainer moved to Switzerland…?” You offered, refusing to meet his gaze.

Suddenly, Bucky was back in your line of sight. You flinched as a hand reached out to cup your chin, raising your head to face him.

“Let me put it another way, are you trying to learn to inflict harm on others, or protect yourself from harm?” He said hoarsely.

You shuddered involuntarily, refusing to meet his gaze.

“The latter.” You admitted with a defeated sigh. “But I’ll switch sides and plan for the former if you don’t stop getting in my face, Barnes.” You pulled yourself away from him, cringing at the tingling warmth left by his touch on your face.

Bucky smiled then, a genuine smile it seemed, and sighed, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“Copy that. Look, I’m not making any promises, but how’s about you give me that ride back to the city and I’ll think about it?”

You raised a brow.

“Before you say no, I should remind you I’m a highly trained assassin?” Bucky offered, shrugging his shoulders as he kicked a pebble aside.

You glowered at him.

“Let’s get one thing straight here, Bucky, I’m actually only doing this out of pity, not because of indirect threats, got it?”

“Sure you are, doll.” He smirked, turning on his heel and stalking off down the path.

“Doll?” You muttered under your breath with you seething glare to the back of his head. “I’ll show you a doll in a minute you crusty old son of a-“

“I can hear you, you know.” He called back to you without bothering to look over his shoulder.

You winced, letting out a sigh that masked a small grin before jogging down the path to catch up with him.

---

A short five-minute walk/ jog and half a car ride to the city centre later, Bucky sat stoically in your front seat. The two of you had barely spoke since starting the journey, Bucky’s expression clearly troubled by the predicament he’d found himself in. A classified predicament, he’d reminded you when you’d pried.

You, on the other hand, were practically vibrating in the driver’s seat. The temptation to throw a barrage of questions at the guy was driving you nuts. Normally you’d have appreciated the silence within your beaten-up jeep, but there was something about Bucky that, you weren’t sure what, intrigued you? You found yourself wanting to know more about him and get past the stand-offish exterior you’d be graced with thus far.

With an inward sigh, you mentally slapped yourself as your focus returned to the road, realizing with a fresh hue of pink across your cheeks that you’d been side eyeing him for the past two miles.

Did his torso appear to be chiselled like a Greek god underneath that black fitted shirt of his? Yes. Did he smell like mint and cedarwood through the sweet musk of sweat, an intoxicating combination in your mind? Also, yes. Were you going to allow those trivialities to distract you from your contempt towards the man who had ran into you, ruined your run and was now using you as a personal Uber driver? Ye- No? No. Definitely no.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Bucky muttered from the passenger seat, breaking you out of your musings.

You studiously kept your eyes on the road ahead of you, offering a nonchalant shrug.

“I promise, I’m fine.”

For a moment, there was only silence. Then, “it’s just… You went down pretty hard.”

You stifled a grin.

“I’ve been hit harder.” You retorted, narrowing your eyes as Bucky snorted from beside you.

“If you say so…” He murmured, as the car fell back into semi-comfortable silence.

You let the music fill the stillness of the car for a few beats, before speaking up once more.

“You know… If you agreed to train me and toughened me up, next time I get hit I probably won’t get hurt as badly.” You said brightly, nodding your head along in time with the music.

“You said you weren’t hurt.” Bucky replied, exasperation evident in his tone, you noticed he’d turned to look at you from your peripheral.

You glanced across at him with one brow raised, “I got ran over by the Winter Soldier going flat out in full tactical gear, of course I’m hurt” you explained matter-of-factly.

You turned to look back at the road ahead as Bucky stared at you, his expression one of a man at his wits end.

“You know, Y/N, you’re really annoying.” He snarked.

“A plight that truly pains me. So, what do you say?” You offered him another sharp toothed grin, sliding your eyes over to meet his.

“Do I have any choice in the matter?” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leant back in his seat.

“Sure you do.” You replied brightly.

When you were met with silence once more, you braved a look across to catch sight of Bucky’s incredulous gaze fixed on you, gulping as your eyes met his: cold as steal.

“Although I am rather persistent…” You continued, pursing your lips as you shrugged. “But I’m sure you can handle it, being a highly trained super soldier and all…”

You heard another long sigh, and for a moment Bucky said nothing.

Finally, after a few suspenseful beats, his fatigued voice broke the silence.

“Fine. As a thank you for getting me out of a jam, I’ll teach you the basics of self-defence. But that’s it.”

“Excellent.” You said, burying your excitement deep in your chest in an attempt to appear nonchalant once more.

“After that, you go back to doing whatever civilians do. You forget all about me.” Bucky continued; you could feel his gaze boring into the side of your head.

“Naturally.” You replied.

“I mean it, you don’t need to get caught up in my world.” He said insistently.

“Duly noted.” You offered him a mock salute, your voice edged with humour.

Bucky paused for a beat, staring at you yet again with narrowed eyes.

“I’m going to wind up regretting this, aren’t I?” He muttered, as you glanced across at him you were met with tired eyes and a deadpan expression.

You shot him a conspirator’s grin, reaching over to turn the dial on your car radio, blasting ‘Bad to the Bone’ at an obnoxiously high volume. Bucky shook his head, returning to stare pensively out of the passenger side window, doing his absolute best to hide the small grin that broke his composure as you floored it down the freeway, heading straight for the looming white tower up ahead.

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whoisbxcky · 2 years

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What Is, And What Should Never Be Pt. 3

summary: You’ve finally started to unravel the mystery of the alternate dimension, now it’s up to you and alt!Bucky to get you back home.

But a familiar foe may have other plans...

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 5k

warnings: so much angst i don’t even know how to describe. kind of suicide wish/ death mentions. as always proceed with caution.

author’s note: Part 3 coming in hot after about 3000 years.

Truth be told I think I’m a little burnt out with Bucky content, so after the fourth and final chapter of this mini series I may move on to other fandoms/ characters. If anyone would be interested/ have requests let me know, I’ll probably post a list of books/ shows/ movies I’m familiar with at some point.

Apologies to anyone tagged if you didn’t want to be, I just figured I’d let anyone who asked about a continuation know, it’s here. Not in all it’s glory by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s here.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged and left such lovely comments on Pt 2 + 1, they’re beyond appreciated and I certainly wouldn’t have found the motivation to crack out another chapter without you guys xx ~ T

BUCKY’S POV

Bucky stared at nothing. He studiously kept his eyes forward, refusing to glance your way, for fear of giving your captor exactly what he craved. Bucky knew himself well enough to know that he could do little to conceal his horror at your current predicament. He wasn’t sure how long it had been: days? Weeks? Months? It felt like a lifetime.

One minute the two of you had been enjoying a small yet charismatic bar in the backstreets of Berlin, coming off the high of yet another successful mission. Then there had been chaos, flashbangs, smoke, a sharp pain in his neck. Then he’d woken up here. And you… You had been…

“Understand, Bucky.” There was that voice again. Painfully familiar. “Truly, I never wanted to hurt this darling dove.”

Bucky could hear the man’s footsteps as he lazily made his way around the room, made his way towards you. Bucky tensed.

“But… Alas… It has become unfortunately apparent to my associates that the only way to encourage your cooperation is… Through her…” He drawled.

Bucky seized involuntarily against his shackles. The man had reached out to stroke a stray hair from your grey-tinged face. Seeing him touch you, be close to you while you were so defenceless. Bucky thought he might hurl.

“Of course, I do not blame you! No, no. I understand most assuredly that the strict morality you and your… ‘Avengers’, live by is binding. This I can respect! But… You see, my associates grow impatient. They want your full cooperation. They want the Winter Soldier. I have promised to deliver them this.” The man sighed, patting your cheek before stepping away from you at last.

Bucky let out a breath he was unaware he had been holding.

“So, you see, desperate times, desperate measures!” The man declared jovially. “But I see perhaps you require a bit more time to… Mull this over. So, I shall take my leave.”

Bucky remained silent, his teeth ground together so hard it pained him as the man made his way toward the iron door, sliding open the bolt with a bang that echoed in the small chamber. Bucky winced.

“Might I remind you, however, Soldat, that every second you spend considering your options, is another second our sweet dove wastes away to nothing. Just, something to keep in mind! Ciao ciao!” The man snickered as he exited the room, slamming the door obnoxiously loud in his wake.

It was as the clang of the door rang out around him that Bucky finally cracked, the scream of your name melding with the crash in bitter harmony.

YOUR POV

“So… Let me get this straight…” Bucky sighed, for the umpteenth time in the last hour. You were sat on the countertop, your fingertips practically bloody from the excessive nervous nail chewing you had partaken in throughout the morning. “You woke up in another dimension… We weren’t together… You were a mess… I was an ass… You died… Woke up there again… Rinse, repeat, died again… Now you’re here and you think this is also a different dimension… Am I getting this right?”

Bucky rubbed his temples after taking a rather desperate swig of his 5th coffee of the hour, his gaze incredulous and aimed at the wall.

You shrugged.

“Essentially, yes. Although, alternate dimension is just a working theory. I also considered aliens, and the possibility of time travel.” You added thoughtfully. Bucky snorted.

It had been two days since you last woke up… Here. You hadn’t allowed yourself to sleep out of fear that you may return to that place. The thought of it made you shudder, which was interrupted by an enthusiastic yawn. The insomnia was starting to get to you.

Not that you minded this place at all. Your quaint little cottage in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness had a lot going for it. For one thing you could rule out the possibility of being run over again or sent to a psych ward for a second time out here. But of course, you were an Avenger. Not a retired Army vet. And you certainly did not live in Alaska.

“And, you think none of this is real because…?” Bucky asked, unable to mask his scepticism.

“Because I just do, okay. Trust me. I think we’ve been sent to another place. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about us retiring from the military and moving to Alaska just sounds… Wrong.” You averted your eyes, hoping this version of Bucky wasn’t as observant as the one you knew.

You had made the decision last night not to tell him that you didn’t think he was the real Bucky, either. At least in this place, you still had him by your side. Plus, you figured having at least one ally in this Pandora’s Box nightmare you’d found yourself in couldn’t hurt.

More to the point, you hadn’t ruled out the possibility of Dr. Rakt making another appearance. No one was above suspicion at this point. Not even the love of your life.

“Sure, whatever you say, babe.” Bucky said in a defeated tone. He pushed himself off the kitchen counter, coming to stand in front of you, a tender smile spreading across his face as he brushed a stray hair from over your eye. “So, let’s pretend for a moment I believe you and don’t think you’ve gone completely looney tunes…” He grinned as you scowled, “what’s the play?”

You faltered at that one. Yes, you had successfully deduced that you weren’t out of the woods yet. You were still trapped some place… Else. That was a good start. However, how exactly one goes about escaping a place they don’t know the location or nature of… Well, you never really were the brains of the operation to start with. You were stumped.

“I’m… I’m working on that part, okay.” You mumbled, clearly irate, as you pushed yourself down off the counter and attempted to storm past Bucky. He caught your arm as you did, spinning you around to face him.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He murmured, pulling you tightly into his embrace. You felt yourself wanting to relax into his body. To find comfort in your other half like you always did. But, this wasn’t Bucky, you reminded yourself.

You gently pushed against his broad, muscular chest, tilting your head to meet his gaze, which had turned sombre.

“Angel… Look I’m sorry. I don’t mean to mock you. It’s just… This all sounds nuts to me. I mean, this is our life, our home, and you think it’s all just some fever dream…” He trailed off, unable to hide the hurt in his ocean blue eyes.

Oh, Bucky.

“I- It’s not- I never-” You stammered uselessly.

How could you be so careless? Even if this Bucky was not your Bucky, he held the same tender gaze in those striking azure eyes. The same tremble in his coarse, scarred hands when he brushed the hair from your eyes. The same rush of breath leaving your lungs every time you caught him smiling at you. It was still Bucky, and you’d just proverbially shit over his heart. Nice.

“What I’m trying to say is,” you continued, steadying your voice as you did, “We’re real. You and me, Buck. That much I know for certain.” Liar. Lying liar who lies. “But, this place, it isn’t home. I can feel it isn’t. I can feel it in my bones.”

You stared up at him with new-found resolve. Bucky swallowed. Hard.

“Alright, okay then.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“You… You don’t believe me… Do you?” You mumbled dejectedly, finally stepping away from his embrace.

You turned to leave the room, a single teardrop fighting its way to run down your cheek as you went.

“I believe you.”

You paused mid step, your throat working as you listened in silence.

“I don’t understand it, and I don’t want to believe it. But I believe you, angel.” Bucky continued.

You turned to face him once more. You noticed that you were trembling head to toe. Bucky noticed too and took a hesitant step towards you.

“I believe in you, Y/N. I believe in us. So, if you say this place isn’t right, then I’m going to do everything in my power to help you get us out of here, you hear?” The resolve in Bucky’s tone, the certainty in his eyes… This was the man you loved. The man you trusted in. The man you believed.

Bucky continued towards you until you were mere inches apart, reaching out tentatively to clasp your hand in his.

“So,” he murmured, offering you a sharp-toothed grin as his thumb playfully grazed over your knuckles, “when do we start?”

…

Five hours and an immeasurable number of failed attempts at ‘getting us out of here’ later, you were exhausted.

You and Bucky had tried anything and everything to escape your current location, from opening every door in the house, to rapping on the walls, you’d even gone as far as to launch yourself in the pond outside the cabin just in case it turned out to be a secret portal.

As it turned out, a secret portal it was not.

Your most recent attempt had seen you both walk as far as your plot of land in the Alaskan wilderness would allow you to go before you were brought to a halt by a thicket of looming trees that seemed to stretch the entirety of the surrounding area. At the base of each tree, a cluster of shimmering turquoise flowers swayed lazily in the breeze. The sight of them made your stomach turn. The colour blue felt threatening everywhere but in Bucky’s eyes at the minute.

The two of you were currently trudging your way back over the snow spattered ground towards your cabin, a defeated silence falling over you as you went.

Neither of you wanted to admit to the other that you were equally at a loss for ideas. It seemed that despite your understanding that this place wasn’t your reality, it was inescapable, nonetheless.

You stared at the ground as you followed Bucky’s footprints, lost in your musings, when suddenly a small dark shape to the left of your boot caught your eye.

You paused, crouching in the snow to investigate.

A dove. Frozen last winter and exposed in the thaw, by the looks of things. Its wings were tucked neatly into its tiny frame, eyes frosted shut. It could have been sleeping were you none-the-wiser.

Suddenly, as realisation washed over you like a looming wave, your breath caught in your throat and you raised yourself from the ground, staring at Bucky’s dark silhouette moving forward without you.

Suddenly, you knew what you had to do.

BUCKY’S POV

“Bucky” A barely-there whisper broke through the terrible silence. When Bucky turned to look at you, his breath escaped him at the expression on your face. That smile, had you always looked so sad when you smiled? Your eyes, devoid of any hope, met his, which began to blur. Bucky sucked in air, cleared his throat, and turned to face you fully.

“What is it, Y/N?”

You took a step towards him, your sad smile never faltering. You gently took his hand, your thumb grazing over his knuckles. He fought to conceal the shiver that rocked his spine in turn.

“Kill me?”

Time stopped. All Bucky could do was stare at you incredulously. Had he heard you right? Surely you were joking, or confused, or-

“Please, Bucky.” Your delicate tone sliced through him like a jagged knife edge. His entire being turned cold. “Please, kill me?”

You took another step towards him, your shoulders heaving with your ragged breath, using two hands to pull his arm up the length of your torso. You gently manoeuvred his hand, making his fingers close around your neck.

Bucky almost retched, but he was frozen on the spot, unable to take his eyes off you. Why? Why did he feel so strange? He said he’d do anything to help you, anything at all. So, why was this request any different?

Letting out a breath he was unaware of holding, Bucky tightened his grip, his shimmering blue eyes never leaving yours. You gazed back at him, that strange smile still making your expression seem distant. Unnerving somehow.

“Thank you.” You barely choked out.

Bucky could see the miniscule red veins in your eyes multiplying, the blue tinge that was ever growing on your lips. He could feel the rapid pulse under his fingers, your body’s desperate attempt to stay alive

Not long now, angel. Bucky thought to himself. If this helps, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.

Anything?

Strange images began to flash through Bucky’s mind. Memories that were not his own. Shared looks, touches and kisses that he knew belonged to him, but somehow also did not.

With a cry, he tore his hand from your neck, letting you fall uselessly to the snowy ground below, gasping and clutching your throat.

“What are you doing?” You cried out; your voice was painfully hoarse to his ear.

Bucky could only grunt, he clutched his head, stumbling on the spot. More images, Y/N in what appeared to be a gym, was this the first time they met? He could see a kitchen, late night coffee dates, when had they lived in the same apartment building? Next were battles, Y/N injured, Bucky could feel himself running to her, his will to protect her making him double over. But when had he been in a battle with her? He could see an open road, feel Y/N’s arms around his waist, were they on a motorbike? Was it his? Next came an apartment, no, a home. Their home. Their home in the Avenger’s Tower. What tower? Avengers?

Bucky dropped to his knees, doubling over as the world tilted around him, making him retch once more.

He was vaguely aware of you calling out to him, your hands on his shoulders. But he couldn’t look at you, couldn’t see you through the crushing realisation that threatened to pull him under.

These were memories, but not his. These were yours. Y/N’s memories with him, with Bucky. The real Bucky. All this time, everything you had told him, it was all… All true…

“Y/N…” He choked out, reaching out to cling to your arm, something real. Anything real. He needed anything to hold him together right now.

“I… I’m not real.” He panted, his eyes blurring as he searched your face for even a glint of denial. But any hope he had of this all being a lie was destroyed when he met your gaze. He could see it, clear as day.

“I… Don’t think so.” You said carefully, your voice thick as tears streamed over your cheeks.

“Then what-“

“I… I think I figured it out just now. I think we’re inside my head.” You cut him off, your expression distant as you glanced around. As Bucky followed your gaze, he began to see it too. Blurred edges, incomplete scenery. It was like waking up inside a dream.

“But how… If this is your head, how am I…?” He tried to speak, but another wave of nausea made him groan. You squeezed his shoulder tightly.

“I have no idea. I don’t even know how I’m in here. I think I’m trapped. A coma, maybe? I don’t really remember…” You drifted off, falling back on your heels from your crouched position to sit on the ground. “It just occurred to me now, seeing that dead bird back there. It was trapped, frozen in an endless slumber in the ice…” You stared up at the sky, a strange luminescent blue sheet up above you. Bucky stared at you, his mind racing.

“I was hoping if I died here, if you killed me…” You glanced over at him, although your face remained directed at the sky, “it might finally make me wake up in the real world.”

Bucky watched you for a moment, swallowing hard. He brought his hands down from his face, shifting his weight from his knees to sit.

“Would that work?” He asked tentatively, rubbing his arms to try and warm himself up once more.

“Doubtful.” You sighed; a gentle breeze made your hair flutter around your face. “Maybe it would kill me for real, too. But…” You trailed off with another sigh.

“But…?” Bucky challenged,

“Maybe that would be for the best.” You said easily, shrugging.

Bucky gasped, moving to grab your arm, turning you to face him. You stared at him wide eyed as he did.

“How can you say that Y/N? How can you… Those memories…” He shuddered, his voice cracking as he spoke. “I, well, he needs you. And if I know myself, or rather him, which I do…”

Bucky paused, the confusion in your expression making him sigh.

“Y/N, there isn’t a chance that he isn’t fighting like hell to get you back out there.” He finished.

You gazed at him with tearful eyes for a long moment, your shoulders trembled as you played absently with the hem of your shirt. Finally, you spoke again, your voice as uneven as his own.

“I know. I know he is.” You sobbed. “But… I don’t know how to get back to him.”

You broke down, sobs wracked your shaking form as Bucky pulled you into his embrace, tightly wrapping his arms around you and wishing with every fibre of his being that he could be the Bucky you wanted. The one you needed.

But he couldn’t. He wasn’t real, after all. But even if he couldn’t be your Bucky, your real Bucky, he could still be useful to you. He could still be someone you needed, even if what you needed meant that he’d stop existing when all was said and done.

He stroked your hair, hushing your distraught cries for several minutes. Finally, when you had calmed yourself once more, he pulled you away from his embrace to look you in the eyes.

“Y/N, I swear to you. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back home.” He spoke clearly, confidently. More confidently than he felt.

“Bucky…” You breathed out his name, tears spilling down your face once more.

“If we’re in your head, then that means I’m a part of you. And that… Well, that’ll be enough for me.” He murmured, stroking your cheek with the pad of his thumb, wiping away the fresh tears that fell there.

You let out a shaky breath, cupping his own cheek in your trembling hand.

“Maybe…” You whispered, your voice cracking with uncertainty, “maybe you won’t go away completely. Maybe I’ll remember. Maybe I… I can find you again…” You trailed off, overcome with emotion once more.

Bucky shushed you, rocking you both back and forth as you sat huddled together in the snow.

The two of you stayed like that for some time as you calmed yourself, unaware of the figure stood at the forest edge, glowing sapphire eyes fixated on the two of you as a laugh as cold as the frostbitten ground was whipped away by the breeze.

YOUR POV

Sometime later, you and Bucky had returned to the cabin. You had each taken a hot bath to rid yourselves of the chill of the dropping temperature and worsening snowfall that had come over the area. More than that, you were trying to rid yourself of the chill that was creeping its way into your very core.

There had to be an escape from this place. There just had to be.

You just had to find it.

You gazed into the crackling flames of the fireplace, a million thoughts racing through your mind all at once. Suddenly, one memory in particular began to materialise clear as crystal in your mind. You heard Bucky’s voice, he was quoting something to you while you practiced escaping from kidnapping and hostage scenarios…

“Dammit, Bucky! I can’t get out of these ropes, okay? You’ve tied them too well and there’s a super inappropriate joke to be made there and now I’m too ticked off to even make it. I hope you’re happy!” You shuffled on your behind to face away from him, your forehead wrinkling as you sulked. This was your third failed attempt of the hour, and you were growing evermore frustrated with your own incompetence.

You heard Bucky let out a well humoured breath as a solid metal grip took hold of your shoulder, spinning you around to face him once more. You met his gentle gaze with a defiant one of your own, fighting back the reddish tint that overtook your cheeks every time Bucky gazed at you like this.

“Hey now. That’s not the Doll I know and love! Since when did you give up so easily, huh?” He teased, taking his forefinger, and delicately raising your chin so that you were unable to escape the intensity of his cerulean eyes.

You shuddered involuntarily, feeling your resolve waiver under the weight of that steadfast gaze.

“Look, I’m not a super soldier, and I’m not a super spy, and I’m not a super genius. I’m just me, Buck.” You sighed, looking forlorn at the wall beside Bucky’s ear. “I’m just me, and me is hopeless. Like a baby bird that never learned to fly.”

Bucky smirked, leaning forward to plant a kiss on your forehead that was so gentle, it was as if the touch was put there by a phantom.

“Well, you know, when captured birds grow wiser, they try to open the locks with their beaks. They don’t give up because they want to be free again.” Bucky spoke in a quiet tone, his eyes full of certainty and reassurance.

You paused for a second, letting the weight of the words sink in. Then,

“No way in hell did you just come up with that just now, Buck.” You scoffed, offering him a challenging grin.

Bucky faltered; his cheeks adorned with a pinkish hue as he offered you a sheepish smile.

“Okay, so maybe I heard it somewhere else…”

“Bucky…”

“Alright, alright, you got me. I heard it on some cartoon show-“

“Anime. You just quoted Naruto at me.”

“Okay so what if I did! Sam told me it’s an important part of world culture these days, I’m assimilating!”

“Assimilating my ass! And here you tried to blame those unsavoury google searches on Steve!”

“They were Steve!”

“Yeah, right...”

You caught yourself grinning as you relived the memory, despite the teardrops that steadily made their way down your cheeks. You wanted to go home. You wanted your Bucky back. You wanted your life back.

Suddenly, as if aware that he was on your mind, you heard heavy footsteps enter the room behind you.

“Y/N…” Bucky’s hoarse voice called out to you from the other side of the room. You had stood and began to turn to face him, but suddenly as your gaze moved ahead of your body mid-rotation, you froze on the spot, your eyes widening in horror at the scene before you.

There, in the doorway to the living room stood Bucky. Behind him, her hand wrapped callously around the back of his neck, was Dr. Rakt.

“You…” You breathed out, unable to move from the sheer shock of it all. However, you were promptly revived from your stupor at the realisation that Bucky’s trembling form was beginning to glow… He was beginning to glow blue.

Tessa’s harsh laugh echoed around the room.

“Hello, little dove. Did you miss me?” She drawled, a cruel smile playing on her perfectly painted lips.

“Let him go.” You whispered.

“What was that, my love?” Tessa responded, her tone challenging.

“I said let Bucky go right now.” You snarled with such ferocity; Bucky flinched.

Tessa simply chuckled.

“Now why would I do that? After all, he is my most favourite plaything…”

You felt bile rising in your throat at her words. Her plaything? What on earth did she mean-

“Oopsies. Did I forget to mention, dove?” Tessa interrupted your thoughts with another cruel laugh, her eyes practically alight with malice. “He was never a figment of your imagination.” She glanced sideways at Bucky with a smirk as his figure began to glow brighter, making him look almost transparent. Your scream caught in your throat.

“He was never a part of you, Y/N. He was never on your side. All along, there’s only ever been me.” She narrowed her eyes, flashing her teeth as her smirk deepened.

You could only watch as Bucky’s transparent form began to crumble, his fearful gaze met yours and you saw his lips call out your name as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Then, he was gone.

“NO!” You wailed, clutching your chest as despair threatened to overwhelm you. You were all alone and Bucky… Bucky was…

You rounded on Tessa, meeting the other girls unnatural blue stare with your own furious gaze. You stalked towards her, your entire body trembling as rage overtook you.

“You… You bastard!” You screamed, balling up your fist as you moved to strike Tessa.

The other girl dodged easily, her sinister giggles echoing all around the room as you spun on your heel, but it was too late. Tessa’s knee connected with your stomach, making you double over in agony as the edge of Tessa’s hand drove into your neck, forcing you to the ground.

“Stupid girl.” She spat. “This is your fault, you know.”

You could barely lift your head to glare as Tessa circled you in a leisurely fashion, like a tiger stalking its crippled prey.

“If only you’d left well enough alone, you could have stayed here forever with him.” She inclined her head to the spot where Bucky had last stood, as tears began to sting the backs of your eyes, “You could have been my dove forever, blissfully happy in this little paradise I made for you.”

Tessa crouched, gripping your hair to force you to look her in the eye.

“But instead, you, a stupid, insignificant little human, figured out my ruse. Instead, you started asking questions. Started trying to leave my little reality. To leave me.” She snarled, one hand lashing out to grip your throat with terrifying ferocity. You choked.

Your entire body was trembling, pain making every muscle, every fibre of every ligament scream. Your lungs screamed for oxygen; the delicate skin of your neck screamed for relief. But you held her gaze. The physical pain was nothing compared to the rage you could feel bubbling inside you, teetering on the edge of consuming you entirely, making you lose control.

‘When captured birds grow wiser, they try to break the locks with their beaks…’

Think. You need to break the lock. Whatever is keeping you here, stopping you from waking up…

Tessa… Her blue gaze making your head pound and the world around you tilt sickeningly.

Blue gaze… That blue… So familiar… Wait... Tessa… Dr Rakt… Tessa Rakt?

Your eyes widened for a second, realisation crashing over you like a tsunami.

Could it be...

With a snarl, and without time to second guess your theory, you lashed out with the last of your strength.

There was a sickening crunch, followed by a squelch, and Tessa’s gasp of simultaneous surprise and discomfort.

You watched her glance down in disbelief, watched her jaw go slack as she gazed at your hand, thrust into her chest cavity, azure blood beginning to ooze around the wound.

You stared back in equal disbelief. Tessa’s chest gave about as much resistance as a paper bag. You gazed dumbfounded for a moment until your brain finally caught up with the scene before you.

This is it. This is the key.

Your fingers tightened around the pebble like object where Tessa’s heart would have sat, your face twitching as you pulled her towards you, feeling the stone shift loose in your palm.

“D-Dove…” Tessa rasped, clinging to you.

“I am not your dove, Tessa.” Your voice was little more than a wheezing rasp, but you could see that your words were reaching her loud and clear. “I’m no bird. There’s no cage imprisoning me. I’m human, I have free will. And that free will wants to go home. Now.” You snarled, wrenching your arm free with a scream that merged with Tessa’s as the infinity stone was ripped from her chest, clutched in you trembling fist.

You barely paid mind to Tessa’s dissolving form as you bought the heart of the Tesseract close to your lips, whispering to it with newfound vigour.

“Now, take me home. Take me to Bucky.”

There was a flash, the world around you erupting into a prism of blue light. You gasped as you felt yourself being sucked inwards… Into your own mind? Another universe? You didn’t care. You were going home. You were free. Finally, free…-

Then, there was only darkness.

Part 1 | Part 2

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