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Autistic Headcanons: Triffany Lottablog (Bugsnax, 2020)

“It really is the saddest thing, isn't it? When nobody knows how your story ends?”

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Here are my headcanons for the Bugsnax cast's academic qualifications!

I want to be extremely clear that I'm treating this as purely character history stuff, not some kind of measure of worth or intelligence. I know some people treat academic qualifications that way, but that's stupid and I hate it. This stuff is based more on opportunity and interest. And what would have to be true for the characters to be in the positions they're in in the game.

I'm using US definitions, and not going into vocational stuff, which is why I keep saying academic. Vocational is kind of its own tier of things that's hard to throw into a table with the academic stuff. Also, vocational qualifications in the US don't seem to be standardised, so it's hard to compare them to each other. Chandlo is totally a licensed carpenter, though.

Rambly elaborations! (How tired was I when I originally wrote these wow)

I swear Gramble's presence in the some high school section isn't about his comedy (?) Appalachian accent. It's because he didn't have parents, so he had to prioritise food and shelter over finishing his schoolwork. If he "wound up raising himself", like the instruction booklet says, he wouldn't have got a lot of support academically. Also, I headcanon that he has ADHD (among other characters), so throw that one on the pile too. But he will probably get a GED once he gets around to it. That stands for Grumpus Education Diploma.

Lizbert dropping out of high school (for a life of adventure) is from the Reddit AMA, and also I like it. She seems big into forging her own path. Also, if her comedy Australian accent is meant to imply that she's Grumpus Australian, it's way less stigmatised in Australia to not finish year 12 than it seems to be in the US. Not saying it's not stigmatised at all, but it seems like leaving school early isn't even treated as a viable option in the US? That's why I was so defensive about Gramble just now.

More down here --v

Wambus wanted to work at the family farm as a career, and was already getting training on that, so he didn't see the point of doing further education. Also, he's from a culture that doesn't really see college as the default path after high school. I think that's one of the things the instruction booklet was implying with the line about how he's "the type who's spent his whole life within a mile of where he was born."

Cromdo went to college to study business administration, but had to drop out due to various family emergencies, and could never afford to go back. That seems like about his luck. I blame Grumpus Reagan (I hope there's no Grumpus Reagan).

Speaking of college being the default after high school, Filbo went to college because that's what you do, but couldn't keep up, and dropped out and returned home within a year. I hope he at least went to some good parties in that time. …Wait, isn't he childhood friends with Lizbert? Is he Grumpus Australian?

I'm not a hundred percent sure what a liberal arts degree is, but I bet Beffica has one. Maybe she majored in photography. Or sociology. I'm going to say sociology.

I headcanon that Chandlo and Snorpy went to the same college for undergrad, and were roommates the whole time. Platonic roommates, because they were still in the "if only you could just date your best friend wouldn't that be simpler hahaha" stage. Chandlo's degree is in kinesiology, probably.

Clumby has a diploma in her office from the School of Journalism at New Grump City College, which you can see at the start of the game. But it doesn't mention what qualification she graduated with. It could be a Bachelor's or Master's, but the advanced degree section has a strict one Snakolyte limit, and Jamfoot was funnier. Actually, it seemed excessive to give an advanced degree to six out of sixteen characters.

Wiggle probably went to one of those performing arts high schools I keep hearing about. And then to one of those performing arts colleges. She had a hard time deciding between dance and music, but ended up settling on music because she thought she'd reach a bigger audience that way. You can't do fashion design at those types of schools, I don't think, or that would've come third.

You tend to need a degree in journalism before you can find work in it, so I think the Journalist probably got one. They did a year of art school first, but concluded that drawing was something they'd be happier doing as a hobby than for a living. So they switched to their other passion. That's my headcanon for why the quest art is so good, if they're supposed to be the one who drew it in-universe.

Jamfoot canonically has a degree in library science, but he doesn't say what kind. In the US, most degrees in library science are Master's, so he might not have needed to specify. And a Master's in Library Science is extremely a part-time barista qualification. Because it's hard to get a job in the actual field. As mentioned in his interview.

Eggabell has the most specific canon qualifications in the game. She has an MD, with a specialisation in endocrinology. Did you know that Doctor of Medicine is a graduate degree in the US, not a research degree? I didn't, until I was researching this chart a while back when I had insomnia. I was wondering why all these American doctors also had PhDs. I may not be the quickest on the uptake.

I went back and forth on whether Floofty would have a Master's or a PhD, but I think if they could refer to themself a doctor, they definitely would, as often as possible. Maybe they couldn't get into a program after all that slander they mentioned. Or they were in one but got kicked out. Or they're just still working on it. Anyway, I think they have a Master's in molecular biology.

Shelda has an advanced degree here partly because I think it would really annoy Floofty, but also, it seems like something she'd be interested in persuing. Like, a Master's in herbal science or something. I don't know if it would licence her to practice medicine, though, if she wanted to expand the range of herb-related stuff she had access to. Maybe a Doctor of Naturopathy instead? Naturopaths actually can be licensed as physicians in about half the US, and the stuff Shelda talks about is so broad that it wasn't clear she was supposed to be a herbalist specifically until the DLC.

Snorpy has a Master's in mechanical engineering from GIT. That's what I think. (Guess what the G stands for). He made something very impressive for his thesis, but I don't know if it should be related to prosthetics or not.

The instruction booklet mentions that Triffany has a doctorate from NGU (didn't make that one up!), presumably in archaeology. There's also some evidence for this in the game. She describes herself as a leader in her field, something that's difficult to be in an academic field without a PhD, and Floofty addresses her as Professor a couple of times. I know that the word professor can also refer to anyone who's teaching at a tertiary level in American English, but she's not teaching anything at the moment. She's doing field research into her dead grandma on murder parasite island. So I think they do mean she has a professorship at a university. That's something that almost always requires a PhD or equivalent.

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I just NEEDED to draw fancy clothes and imagined these three all going on a cool date to a super fancy restaurant or party or SOMETHING.

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~yawn~

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Now thinking about it Pretty sure this man can't be well if he only lives on sauce and really bad sleep. Soo, here you have another version of the Gramble i did past time, not very well kept in general, missing fur on hands and a little on the feet, baggy eyes and irritated skin, and probably looking at you like you are going to eat him or something, shaking.

#constantly shaking like a senior chihuahua #<-prev tag OH MY GOD

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some grumpus ladies but not grumpus

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Consider for me: found family but made up of the worst people ever

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¨Mijito, vi gente muerta que yo no conocia¨

-Mi abuela, telling me her experience

(Im sorry, i couldn’t get this out of my head for days,mostly during my first impression of the character before Bigsnax, now you have to see it)

Shelda reminds me a lot of one of my art teachers, and my grandma, weirdly

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alright, I caved, take a snorplo fankid. This is Doribo and from what anyone can tell their favorite activities are “disapproving screams” and “being a lump”.

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Why am I making a Spewer bugsnax au lol

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chat has got me thinking about grumpus court cases.

“all rise before the honorable Billboo Sillybean”

“ladies and gentlegrumps of the jury, my client, Snookums Funkyfriend, could not have been present at the scene of the assault.”

“we the jury find the defendant, Pippi Peanutpants, guilty on both counts of vehicular grumpslaughter and criminal negligence.”

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GRUMPUS SPECULATIVE BIOLOGY

HERE IT IS!!! HOPE U LIKE THE WEIRD MOUTHY MUPPETBEASTS

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Someone please edit this to say nightmare blunt rotation

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Hi, I want ya’ll to see my perfectly normal hut that I put together. I prommy nothing’s been changed and is working as intended :)

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Now that I have these models I think I'm on the verge of being unstoppable.

(image this is referencing btw)

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I FORGOT HE MAKES THIS FACE WHEN HE GIVES YOU THE KEY AND IT IS SUCH A MOOD

perfect reaction image material right there

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What the other grumpuses see when the journalist fast travels: