williamsockner

[williamsockner]

Urban Fantasy Bingo

1. Main character dates a serial killer but the show thinks he’s just a complicated bad boy 2. Codependent siblings 3. Rampant unintended homosexual tension 4. Incest 5. Creepy dolls 6. Exploitative shots of dead teenage girl’s corpse 7. Narrative unsympathetic when bitchy teenage girls gets murdered 8. Parent or significant other in law enforcement 9. Shady big pharma 10. Ugly and/or disabled girl with no personality flaws 11. Amnesia 12. Black best friend (bonus points if gay) 13. Love interest with no personality besides fucking and sports 14. Love interest with no personality besides being embroiled in supernatural bullshit 15. Someone dies during sex 16. Main character commits rape but narrative refuses to acknowledge it as anything but angsty manpain behavior 17. Randomly excellent episode in an otherwise lackluster show 18. Writer’s room fetishist on display 19. Bodyswap/bodysnatch/shapeshift/possession 20. Everyone cares about the blood feud 21. Hundred-year-old urban legends or local history shockingly relevant to small town youths 22. Narrative clumsily attempts to make serial killer sympathetic 23. “the ugly one” played by a hollywood ten 24. Mortal threat to a character’s life during a sports game 25. Murder at prom 26. Super special chosen one and/or ancient prophecy 27. Writers convinced that remorse is the same as redemption 28. Love triangle 29. Snarky put-downs towards clear sources of inspiration 30. Love interests swap because the bad boy character was too interesting to the audience 31. Musical episode 32. Fictional classic monster actually existed in-universe 33. Character witnesses an alternate timeline where they didn’t exist and/or died 34. Character comes back as a ghost but gets no speaking lines so the show could save on the acting fee 35. Evil twin 36. Reincarnated true love 37. Super sexy high femme who’s actually 200 years old 38. Manic monster dream girl 39. Weird hybrids 40. Masquerade ball 41. Characters in class receive a lecture on a topic relevant to the episode 42. Flashback episode 43. Villain has a weird kink 44. Illegitimate lovechild 45. Abusive parent has a favorite child 46. Someone cuts their palm for a blood sacrifice 47. Someone sacrifices a pet for an evil ritual 48. Black witches have more power 49. Scene at the morgue 50. Teenage alcoholism 51. Regular alcoholism 52. Visible manifestations of someone’s guilt and/or plot exposition in the form of dead loved ones 53. Dead perfect significant other 54. Characters get caught doing something and give transparently fake names of celebrities or pop culture references 55. Musical sequence that exists only to show that an actor can dance, sing or play an instrument 56. CPR brings someone back to life and doesn’t break any ribs 57. Character discovers secret power at last second before they almost die 58. Secret society has a ritual to decide who is the head honcho monster 59. Incongruous musical choice 60. Someone has a dark side/evil blood/a prophecy that they’ll go evil 61. Someone turns into a violent sociopath because they lose their soul and/or humanity 62. Somebody bleeds out the eyes or mouth, or has a nosebleed that someone else has to call attention to 63. Significant other hunts what you are 64. Halloween episode 65. “You tried to kill me and that takes grit, I’m proud of you” 66. “There’s nothing on the other side when you die” especially if we know ghosts exist 67. Inconsistent ghost rules 68. The enemy of my bigger enemy 69. Head in a box 70. Cold opening of teenagers getting eaten because of a dare, bonus points for haunted house 71. Racist one-off criminal encounter 72. “Cool costume, bro” to an actual monster 73. Halloween costumes significant to role character plays in the story 74. Wise mentor figure with colorful past and parental affection towards protagonist 75. The one normal guy who keeps getting pulled into bullshit 76. Everybody in the cast dates each other as the writer’s room tries to figure out what the fans want 77. Immortal character put in a box 78. Non-human has to pass as human…badly 79. Ancient character has to adjust to modern day 80. Random regular human with an axe to grind 81. Bait and switch big bad at the end of the story, turns out to actually be a main cast member having a meltdown after taking out villain 82. Head of the secret council actually an evil puppet master 83. Police scanner 84. Debilititis 85. People randomly discovering superpowers around puberty 86. Character that main character hates for no good reason turns out to be evil all along 87. Plot-relevant celestial event 88. Someone telekinetically forces people to turn their guns on each other or themselves 89. Badly-pronounced French 90. The apocalypse originates in this small podunk-ass town 91. Unreasonable hometown pride 92. Latin as the mother tongue of magic 93. Local police covering up for high monster murder rate 94. Single parent is overworked medical practitioner 95. Guardian is not yet ready for this level of responsibility 96. Someone turned out to have a child they didn’t know about 97. Weird pregnancy (bonus if no sex actually happened) 98. Someone’s kid gets aged up to skip working with a child actor 99. Somebody sends their child “away” to keep them from getting embroiled in the bullshit and then they get embroiled in the bullshit anyway 100. Descendants of an immortal 101. Resurrection with no consequences 102. Resurrection or healing with consequences will haunt the protagonist 103. Protagonist has at least one dead parent 104. A friend of the main cast dies in the pilot 105. Candlelight vigil for a high school student 106. Fucked up mother-son dynamics 107. Daddy issues 108. “Fear makes the meat taste better” and/or “I like to watch them scream” 109. Souls get sold and/or girls get married to Satan 110. Deal with the devil turns you into a ticking time bomb 111. “you worded your wish wrong” 112. Alternate reality without magic 113. Real-world religions or spiritual practices treated as monsters of the week 114. All myths contain a grain of truth 115. Someone attacks a wedding 116. Mundane who really wants to be a monster 117. Redhead 118. Feral child raised by wolves 119. Bitchy cheerleader 120. Characters go undercover at a school 121. Mental institution episode 122. Protagonist framed for murder 123. Cold open of dog-walker getting eaten while dog runs away 124. Show starts off with missing or murdered girl 125. Animal motif or animal companion 126. Non-human but non-animal sidekick 127. “The council sent me to give you exposition” 128. Secret society of hunters 129. The Corporation 130. Death by bees 131. Jumpscare 132. Douchebro thinks he’s getting seduced but is actually about to get eaten 133. Siblings have pronounced disagreements over how to feel about their absentee parent 134. Deep South 135. Magic can solve everything except cancer 136. Beautiful sprawling mansion 137. Musical sequence intercutting one couple having sex and someone else dying or doing something else dramatic 138. Safehouse and/or bunker 139. “s/he was just trying to protect you” used as a justification for abjectly abusive parenting 140. Family with oodles of generational wealth 141. Groundhog Day Episode 142. Random skull in dark place 143. Someone punches a mirror 144. Black blood 145. Weird eye color signifies supernatural status 146. Wicker Man episode 147. Pagan gods 148. Faith healer 149. Couple going on a date gets eaten 150. Someone gets murdered in a church 151. Villain boasts that “maybe that works on wimpy monsters, but not me” 152. Chasing the murderer through a house of mirrors 153. Diner 154. Episode titles named after songs or famous books 155. Supernatural war 156. Getting out of a Faustian bargain 157. Someone wakes up tied to a chair at an insane dinner party full of corpses

#this bingo list made possible by our extensive research into #charmed #teen wolf #grimm #witches of east end #riverdale #mayfair witches #supernatural #pretty little liars #trollhunters #ahs: coven #wolf pack #haunting of bly manor #hemlock grove #vampire diaries #first kill #lockwood & co #carnival row #anyway you're welcome!

[williamsockner]

[Text description:

Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.

END]

Richard Siken, the worm king’s lullaby; from “War Of Foxes”

—

[ID: Tumblr user @slowwshoww writes:

suzanne collins killing prim after everything katniss did to save her………. THATS how you write a story about the brutality and futility of war ma'am thats what we call a compelling and fucked up narrative yessums thats storytelling babes!!!!

Tumblr user @books—and-cleverness adds a quote from an interview with the author of the book:

« That was one of the first questions I asked her when we sat down: ‘Did you always know that [Prim] was going to die?’ And she said, ‘Oh yeah, of course, that’s the whole point.’ » (x)

END ID]

–

[ID: Tumblr user @orpheuslament:

i love tragedy i love circular narratives i love ppl who cannot escape their fate & characters that have been dead since the beginning

END ID]

—

[ID: Tumblr user @faustandfurious:

the worst fictional deaths are actually the ones you see coming, where there is enough foreshadowing that you have time to hope, against all odds, that the character will survive, even as you realise that there’s no way out this time, they’re not going to make it, this was always how it was going to end.

END ID]

–

[Text description:

Do you still believe myths

can save you? Foolish creature

Let me be clear: every version of this story

Ends with you being slaughtered.

END]

Tory Adkisson, Anecdote of the Pig

–

[ID: Tumblr user @sawasawako:

if you’re dead at the end of the story were you dead from the beginning. oh emily brontë we’re really in it now

END]

–

[Text description:

This was always going to happen. She’s been dead from the beginning.

END]

Aeschylus, The Oresteia

–

[Text description:

This is why people cry at the movies: because everybody’s doomed. No one in a movie can help themselves in any way. Their fate has already staked its claim on them from the moment they appear onscreen.

END]

John Darnielle, Wolf in White Van

#sddwd

[williamsockner]

“It’s gay!” can apply to Steven Universe, Killing Stalking, and Absalom, Absalom!. It tells me nothing.

y’all really recommend books like: title, there are gay characters, enemies to lovers, young adult, written by poc

not once do i ever see a summary

#we're in a golden age of queer media and there's no excuse for 'it's gay' to be enough to sell a book #happy pride lololol #i live

[williamsockner]

Bringing country back 😌

#cowboy shit #the adventures of dan sagittarius

[williamsockner]

#the adventures of dan sagittarius

[williamsockner]

This is the only vibe ✨

#cowboy shit

[williamsockner]

[williamsockner]

Tanjiro, Zenitsu & Inosuke | | Demon Slayer (2019-)

#demon slayer #i love these children #okay but the best part of demon slayer is that these are all SUCH 14 y/o boys no matter how cool they look in gifs #zenitsu's a pheromone-addled fuckup who's managed to fail upwards despite his crippling anxiety #inosuke was raised by boars and once tries to headbutt a train to death #tanjiro's the designated older brother trying to wrangle these morons #and failing #the fact that inosuke took his fancy swords and chipped holes in them with rocks just to make them look cool is #/chef's kiss

[williamsockner]

One of my favorite pages in the manga because same Nezuko

#demon slayer #i love these children

[williamsockner]

당고가게에서의 재회 | Rendezvous at Dango Place 🍡

#what lovely fanart #demon slayer #i love these children

[williamsockner]

Party time 🎉🎉🎉

#demon slayer #what lovely fanart #i love these children

[williamsockner]

some kind of zenitsu

#demon slayer #what lovely fanart #i came back to tumblr just for tangiro and zenitsu and inosuke

[williamsockner]

The inverse of this is referring to details about your own character as  “headcanon.” ;A;

Referring to a canon character as "my oc" because I put more work into them than the author

#the adventures of dan sagittarius #sddwd

[williamsockner]

we should treat women the same way we treat men yes this is my pathetic meow meow i'm gonna shake her violently in a pringles can

#sweet dee defense squad #ayoo free batteries #iasip

[williamsockner]

we need to kill all forms of self deprecating humor in 2022. literally eradicate that shit

#i'm trying to train myself out of self-deprecating humor #since i'm pretty rad and all

[williamsockner]

having ocs is like she's my daughter. she's my power fantasy. i'm giving her everything i hate about my personality. she's a war criminal. she's never done anything wrong in her life ever. i love her. i hate her. i'm making her life miserable. who did this to her. she's unlikeable but everyone should like her. she's baby. she does cocaine in the bathroom

#the adventures of dan sagittarius

[williamsockner]

#the adventures of dan sagittarius