woahajimes

[woahajimes]

Mary Oliver, from “Hum Hum”, A Thousand Mornings

#i think i ike this litele life

[woahajimes]

[woahajimes]

i love when a man is fresh of getting his ass beat. it’s like a pregnancy glow

[woahajimes]

of course everyone in my family decides to do fun things when i can't.

#they'regoing to the ZOO tmr. #im studying for IB exams lierally everyday and im missing out on so much from my OWN family. and this is something i saw coming from OTHER #places in my life. bc my family is NOT a going out family like we never do anythign and #that's like fucked me up in the head bc i cant stand it i cant stand staying at home and doing nothing and not living and not experiencing #but SUDDENLY. suddenly she's a fun mom that plans picnincs and breakfast outside and trips to the fucking zoo #and i cant GO because i need to study and she knows i have to study and im going crazy

[woahajimes]

I haven’t been on tumblr for quite as long as a lot of people but over several years I’ve noticed this interesting gradual sorta,, shift in the general culture? that it went from this mostly depressed, nihilistic outlook where people would regularly joke about hating themselves and being hopeless and depressed, to a wave of vehemence of “STOP hating everything actually the world is Good and you deserve love!!!” type posts, to now, where those aggressive ‘PSAs’ have faded away and instead I regularly see people romanticizing simple things like stars and hot tea and rainy mornings, and waxing poetic about their friends, and just trying to put love out there. and I don’t know exactly what that means (someone who knows more than me could probably say something smart about generational expression and trauma or popular perception of mental health and whatnot), but I do know that it makes my heart very full to see people learn to love the world and themselves by extension, and a whole userbase adopting healthier coping mechanisms, and therefore teaching the younger users to do so as well. I might just be following different people, but I really do think we’ve grown. everyone has grown. five years ago it wasn’t unusual for the next post on my dash to be a scathing commentary on why nothing matters or an anon ripping into someone they barely knew or someone complaining about how pathetic their interests are. now I have mutuals who get excited and spam reblog art of cows and friends I see tagging each other in pictures of frogs and strangers writing paragraphs about how much I matter. it makes me happy. idk. just an observation I wanted to make. I think people are good and everyone’s just trying their best at the end of the day

[woahajimes]

hard to believe there are actually people out there who think that big noses are ugly and unattractive … like what the fuck is wrong with you ?

#no real #STRONG big noses like ugh stop #i have a weak big nose but im actually growing to adore it #it seerves just as much cunt as the rest of me !

[woahajimes]

being stressed makes me the worst person on the planet actually

#like why couldnt i be those girls that dont eat when theyre stressed no im gaining weight and balding and being mean to people for silly #SILLY reasons #so silly but theyre so important in the moment and they tick me off #and im getting a lot of dandruff again #and im breaking out and my eyebags are insane and inhumane its pissing me off

[woahajimes]

anyone else relate

[woahajimes]

liking someone is like im actually going insane. crazy lock me in a room and stay in the box no stay in the box

[woahajimes]

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

[woahajimes]

[woahajimes]

Haven't been able to use my tablet recently so here's an old Young Justice sketch :)

#oh my god

[woahajimes]

and in english your clsoest friend of 6 years will be like "hbd!" like hello.

people wishing you happy birthday in spanish is like "happy birthday! I hope you achieve all your dreams and may god bless you always" "i know we rarely see each other but thank you for being my pride" "may all of your days be as good as the last and I hope one day you will see yourself as beautiful as I see you" and it will literally be someone from instagram you have mutual friends with

[woahajimes]

people wishing you happy birthday in spanish is like "happy birthday! I hope you achieve all your dreams and may god bless you always" "i know we rarely see each other but thank you for being my pride" "may all of your days be as good as the last and I hope one day you will see yourself as beautiful as I see you" and it will literally be someone from instagram you have mutual friends with

[woahajimes]

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

#oh my god

[woahajimes]

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

[woahajimes]

I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?

XD

#no bc what does this mean like im so serious