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I JUST SCREAMED

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Luck

AN: This is…99% comics!Tim because, well, sorry. Tim is a bitty bean FOREVER. I don’t know what the Knight team was going for, but whatever, whatever, it’s fine, time to make canon meatloaf.

* * *

None of this, Tim will explain to Batman later, is his fault. None of it. There’s no way he can be blamed for Man-Bat (or is Lady-Bat? He can never tell them apart…) coming out of nowhere, hitting him mid-swing, and sending him through somebody’s window. It’s an occupational hazard. He doesn’t even blame the Bat in question because, well…he was in the way and it hasn’t come after him, so clearly it was an accident.

But. Broken window or not, accident or not, there’s a bunch of guys pointing guns at him. This isn’t people’s normal reaction to broken windows. Screaming, okay. Yelling at the responsible party to get out, sure. A come-on? It happens. Guns? Mostly those belong to, er, criminals. Sorry to stereotype, but there it is.

“How many fuckin’ Robins are there?” somebody asks, and that’s bad. That’s always bad. Then, “Hey, boss, did Batass get another kid?”

Nngh. Maybe he can cute his way out of here. It worked on Harley! Once.

“Uh, I’ll totally pay for the window, so can I just…” Dick has a knack for making the Puppy Eyes work behind a mask. Nobody else in the family has this skill, but Tim tries. “Um, I’m late for dinner?”

“Do not feed him,” somebody tells somebody else. The Else in question just laughs.

“I don’t feed every kid I see.”

“Yes, you do–”

“What the hell is going on?”

…

Oh.

Whatever alarm Tim was feeling has suddenly been replaced by sheer, all-encompassing exasperation.

“I think there’s a new Robin.”

“What?” Jason shuffles into the room, tugging at a sweatshirt that has, ‘I bite my thumb at thee’ on it in curling script. “No…he just got hair. Finally.”

“For the last time, Firefly–”

“Didn’t ask, don’t care. Why are you here.”

“On accident.”

Jason sighs. Opens his mouth. And promptly gets shoved at the couch.

“Siddown.”

“Oh, c’mon, the stitches are out!”

“As of literally three and a half hours ago. Don’t push it or I’ll put them back.”

He sits down, arms curled protectively over his stomach, and glares at Tim.

“This is your fault.”

“I didn’t-!”

“I don’t care.”

“Nobody cares, man,” Angry Guy grumbles. “But we just fixed that window two days ago.”

“I wasn’t aiming for it.”

Somebody-a redhead with glasses bigger than his head-starts laughing.

“That’s what he said,” he says, jerking a thumb at Jason, “about that knife. Same tone and everything.”

“Shut up.”

“Knife?”

“If you rat me out to A, your body goes back to the cave in a birdcage,” Jason hisses. “I can probably get a jeweled one from Penguin if I ask nice.”

Oh, he’s so telling Alfred. And Dick. Dick should know about this. He thinks Jason’s realized this, because the look he gets says MURDER MURDER and he turns to a big guy wearing a tank top with I flexed and the sleeves fell off on it. Points at Tim. Says, voice only a little pathetic, “Please tell me you can fit him in a birdcage.”

Big Guy shrugs.

“Probably. But, like, I’m lazy and don’t want to.”

“Traitor.”

Somebody else, a tired-looking man wearing a gray shirt and sweats that look a million years old, leans over the back of the couch and frowns.

“You’re not gonna have any friends throwing smoke bombs in here, are you?”

“No–”

“That’s a risk we can’t afford to take,” Jason says, brightening up considerably. “Wolverine him.”

What.

The big guy cracks his knuckles, rolls his shoulders, and strides forward. Before Tim can do much of anything, he’s been hefted off the ground and hurled back through the broken window. It says something about his life choices that he recovers quickly, grapples to a nearby roof, and, since he’s a safe distance away and Alfred will never know, throws a one-finger salute to the apartment across the street.

Tim has never been lucky, really. Never anything horrid, but he always gets to Pauli’s just as the last everything bagel is sold. That kind of thing. But this. This is malicious, and he will find out which one of them did this to him.

“Master Tim.” WHO WAS IT. Jason? He’s sure this is Jason’s fault, but he doubts Jason actively ratted him out. Too risky for him. “What’s this I hear about shattered windows?”

“It’s…I…” There’s no winning here. “I’m coming back now, A.”

“Very good, sir.”

Humph.

THE END

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Tim breaking under his life is just so emotional I’m sorry but leave him ALONE DC ik this isn’t really him but just to see him say these words😭

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Thirteen year-old Tim watching Batman spiral through his camera lens, whispering under his breath, “I can fix him.”

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Dick: I love Almond Joys

Jason: I’d like them better without the almonds.

Dick: That’s just chocolate!

Tim: I’d like them better without the joy.

Dick: That’s just depression— Tim, are you ok?

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i offer you this and nothing else goodnight

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“Age is just a number” means senior citizens can still find love.

“Age is just a number” means middle-aged people can still find love.

“Age is just a number” means 30+ people can still find love.

“Age is just a number” is not an excuse to be a pedophile.

Nothing is an excuse to be a pedophile.

So don’t.

Just don’t.

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and thus a legacy was born

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Tim: *is considered to be one of Bruce’s most analytic protégés, has an IQ of 142, and has detective skills that rivals Batman*

Also Tim: I just don’t understand ….. if bear so evil, why so fluffy ? If not nice, why have face of friend ?

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Tim, after getting his ass handed to him: Don't freak out.

Jason, narrowing his eyes: Wouldn't be the first time you get hurt, pretender.

Tim, blatantly ignoring Jason: I might not have a spleen anymore.

Dick, flabbergasted, about to throw hands with someone: I'm sorry, what.

Damian, actually worried: I knew you were incompetent but to lose an entire organ. That's impressive even for you.

Bruce, calling his therapist for the first time in years: Hi, yes, do you do family appoinments?

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Just dudes bein bros

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Timber Week Day 6

Soulmate AU | Starcrossed

In which the pain felt by one soulmate is shared with their other half.

THE PHOTO QUALITY SUCKS ASS ONCE AGAIN I SIMPLY CANNOT ANYMORE—

Edit: the damage has been done,,but I fixed it

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Upright ver hard do when food orb