worstloki

worstloki

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pronouns dont bother me, use whatever -  I will fite you - follow me for incorrect quotes, good murder and a lot of eyeliner

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Furby, that creepy 1990's doll, has a tumblr page.

worstloki·3 hours agoText

has loki ever done anything that isn’t an absolute mood??

#remember that time loki tried to handle a situation but it escalated and then thor started a war and he spent all his time as king brooding, #remember that time loki tried to get some straight answers from his dad but ended up crying about it, #remember when he yelled at his mother and then instantly had tears in his eyes?, #remember that time selvig said 'loki? brother of thor' and loki eyerolled and went 'nope death is too good for you' instead?, #when he got a statue of himself in gold?, #when he got a literal play made so he could self-project?, #when he spent an entire escape plan criticizing the escape plan?, #the greasy hair look? the leather and gold aesthetic?? the way he turned up half dead and instantly tried to take over the place???, #when he astral projected to earth and no one could see him but he dressed in fancy Midgardian clothes anyways??, #how he looked to the ceiling and didn't simply say 'that means thor is coming'?? when he sat comfortably to watch tony thor and cap fight??, #reading a book while the realm gets attacked and every other prisoner escapes?, #the unnecessary drama of literally any scheme or plan he puts together???, #the fact that if no one else changes outfits he will do it anyways even with no excuse?, #the way he disses odin for being a hypocrite and calls his mother out on gaslighting?, #''your saviour is here'' ?????, #turns up on a foreign planet and decides to tell the story of that time he tried to kill himself by throwing himself into space?, #no one else has such a consistent aesthetic. literally no one., #the HELMET??, #the fact that the helmet is 90% of his entire armour, #the fact that he literally got stabbed and 2 seconds later was smiling on a throne he threw odin off???
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worstloki·17 hours agoAnswer

Get help is the only canon scene in ragnarok

a complete comprehensive list of what canonically happened in ragnarok: 

- Thor defeated Surtur 

- The Tragedy of Loki

- Found Odin on Earth. He died.

- Hela broke Thor’s hammer

- thor vs hulk… thor loses

- Thor hit himself in the face while trying to escape

- “Seductive Lord of Thunder” “Bruce Banner, Strongest Avenger” “Lackey”

- Thor bribed/guilt tripped a team together  #TheRevengers™

- Get Help (except Thor threw Loki and then ditched)

- chase scene off sakaar

- thor vs hela… thor loses

- loki turns up and saves the asgardians because he wants to and has a moral code (unlike thor apparently) and an ability to think ahead (also unlike thor)  

- Thor has flashbacks of Odin dressed as a grandpa with better fashion taste than he’ll ever have and cries about it

- led zeppelin + glowy eyes

- Loki and the Tesseract make solid eye contact and saxophones are heard 

- Loki releases Surtur, killing Hela instantly

- Everyone is on the refugee ship heading to Earth and Thor never got a coronation but is king i guess and no one is going to betray him in 2 seconds

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worstloki·21 hours agoText

aplpaca:

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

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worstloki·a day agoText

hettolandija:

worstloki:

as funny as it is to assume that Heimdall has always been subtly committing treason in the background i think an even better theory is that he was the most loyal citizen for thousands of years and then he let thor go to jotunheim and things escalated and 20 minutes later he got himself fired and tried to kill the king but he hasn’t been punished for treason yet and decided to keep doing it until someone calls him out on it (they wont)

#just imagine Asgard’s GATEKEEPER literally the one trusted to guard the planet and other realms from threats not being loyal#anyways hc that Heimdall spent a boring bunch of centuries watching over the realms#then one day thor and his buddies decide they wanna go to jotunheim and ‘talk’ so he doesn’t directly disobey an order and its fine#but then loki’s acting dodgy and its not your place to say anything but you do#next thing you know he’s fired you (rightfully so)#you decide to kill the king (no biggie right? you’ve been fired already…)#but then the person filling in as king kills himself and you’re out of a job for the next few centuries but then… no one says anything???#you’re just put back in your place to watch the realms???#so anyways the next time you commit treason you spell it out for the king and literally announce that you’re committing treason#the job is super boring and honestly you wouldn’t mind getting the death sentence if its for a good cause because again its super boring#but despite the fact that you announced that you’re committing treason the king just walks it off#now some time passes and suddenly you’re pretttttttty sure that the king has been replaced by the other king so naturally you skiddaddle#and by skiddaddle i mean the next time he decides to leave the forest its to steal the Bifrost sword#which technically is treason again but he’s committed that so many times that the death penalty wouldn’t even be fair anymore#he committed treason once and since Asgard is slack on rules unless you’re loki he saw no reason to stop#Heimdall spent thousands of years patiently watching the Bifrost with 100% loyalty to the throne#Heimdall snapped in 2011 and hasn’t stopped committing treason since (via worstloki)

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