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kcouplesblog
KDrama Notebook✍🏻
hiro-gari
underdog mentality
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just remembered the time a guy friend of mine paid one of my bills for me. when i told him i felt like i owed him, he said i didn’t owe him anything. he said i have the learn to let people do things for me without feeling like i have to do something back in return.
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i got the nicest email earlier this month on a story i posted almost 3 years ago. made me realize i really does this writing thing. also gave me soooo much motivation to start posting again.
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it’s amazing how much writing i get done at work while pretending to work.
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i hate that when i start losing weight, it comes out of my breasts first. why can’t i be thin and still have these ddds?
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dating women has made me throw gender roles out the window. i will unashamedly ask a man on a date, pick him up, and pay for it if the vibe is right.
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been talking to this guy on a dating app for almost a week. our schedules are so opposite that we keep trying to plan to get together, but it seems impossible. anyways, i’ve wanted him to beat me into a mattress since the first time i saw him. everyday this urge and frustration grows. 💦
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i met a woman in person today whom i’d been talking to on an app. i took her lunch to her job. it’s always so awkward meeting people in person. i felt awkward as hell. the conversation always flows differently in person, which is expected since you don’t have the time and space to think of a clever reply or follow-up questions when they’re right in front of you. i was thinking maybe she didn’t like me, because the conversation was dry, but then i remembered how when me and my ex met in person the conversation was exactly the same. i felt discouraged then as i felt today. but with my ex, as we saw each other more that awkward stage fell apart and gave way to comfortability. i just need to get out of my head about today and let me and her get comfortable with one another. we’ll open up. the conversation will flow. the virtual bond will transfer in person.
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how am i so forgettable? i messaged a woman on a dating app asking her if we’d met before. she’s like no, i don’t think so. but i was adamant that we had. i explained to her where and she’s like “yes! yes, we did meet!” my question is how did i remember her the moment i saw her but she didn’t remember me? tears. i would think with my big hair i’m pretty memorable, but apparently not.
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when i go to work everyday, i don’t draw or paint. not even on the weekends. i’m too mentally and physically tired. i sleep all day.
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whenever i take time off work it instantly taps me into my creative side.
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been painting and sketching a lot this weekend.
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this male nurse was using his sexy voice on me. i hear him outside my door talking to other patients. he’s not all deep and low voiced with them like he was with me.
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it rained terribly. i was sitting in my car writing the whole time. it felt melancholic.
#writer#personal#raining#writing#plus it was very early morning and i was in the parking lot waiting for michael’s to open
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teaching myself to paint this year felt like honoring my papa. he was a painter. i feel really connected to him when i look at whatever painting is in progress on my easel.
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the amount of painting tutorials and paint-with-me’s that i watch on youtube.
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