writingbyje

[writingbyje]

Vore

why do I only taste like forever on my knees where you can't see the bruises

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #relationships #relationship #love #bruise #bruises #vore

[writingbyje]

Yours

If I'm going to be hurt by the absence of any man, perhaps it is beautiful that at least it's yours.

#poetry #poems #poem #writing #love #relationships #relationship #ghosting #ghosted #missing you #intimacy

[writingbyje]

One Year Later

Someone new, someone not you, kissed my body in ways you didn't and left a bite mark on my throat. When I breathlessly begged him to please fuck me harder please, please, please— I wonder if you felt the bite.

#breakups #breakup #moving on #intimacy #sex #nsfw text #poem #poems #writing #poetry #love #relationships #relationship #bite marks #bite mark

[writingbyje]

Valentine's Day

I think of you often. I miss the softness of your hair, your skin. Your shy glances and soft smiles. Your voice. Your hands. Your fingertips. Your lips. Sleeping next to you. Waking at the same time in the middle of the night, straddling you with sleepy kisses, easing you back into me as if I'm the only place you truly belong. I think of you, and I often wonder if I'm ever going to see you again.

#writing #creative nonfiction #relationships #intimacy #missing you #valentine's day

[writingbyje]

A Year Is a Long Time

It's up to you to overcome what keeps you running, what keeps you away. I cannot wait forever if you will not stay.

#poetry #poems #poem #writing #relationships #love #disorganized attachment

[writingbyje]

Untitled

The further along this healing journey I crawl, the more comfortable my inner child feels telling me her secrets. Now I understand why I clench my teeth so hard in my sleep, I have an overworked masseter muscle. Why I would cover my mouth with my hand for hours, every day, scared to leave it unprotected. Why I couldn't even brush my teeth, without the darkest parts of me begging for it to stop. Why I used to sleep with my head under the covers, even though it was hard to breathe, holding the edges down. Peeking out  from under the blanket, terrified I would see eyes. My father had blue eyes, and I was always glad I didn't inherit them.  People have told me, my entire life, that I would've been prettier with blue eyes. Men especially.

#poetry #poems #poem #writing #misogyny #beauty standards #standards of beauty #abusive parents #blue eyes #male entitlement #child abuse #child sexual abuse #csa #sexual assault #abuse

[writingbyje]

Blood and Water

when you die I wonder if I'm going to cry because you're gone or because after all these years I am finally free

#poetry #poems #poem #writing #abusive parents #narcissistic abuse #abuse #narcisstic mother

[writingbyje]

Disappearing Act, Pt. 2

I look at pictures of you often. I don't have too many; but the ones I do have, I always come back to.

I look at your perfect lips and pretty eyes and I wonder when you'll come back, too.

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #love #relationships #relationship

[writingbyje]

Where the Light Is

I won't be able to say this once I'm dead, so while I'm still alive, let me tell you what I love: you, my dogs, quiet moments, good coffee, you, moving music, cool breezes, clean sheets, you, my cozy little home, my cozy little life, waking up this morning, every moment we have spent together.

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #love #love poem #mindfulness #relationships #relationship #appreciation #gratitude

[writingbyje]

Still

I still don't want anyone else but you I wonder if you feel it, too only you I think you do

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #relationships #relationship #love #separation #still

[writingbyje]

2:29 am

Alone in bed thinking of you, not knowing if you're alone, too. I wish you'd tell me if I'm patient or foolish. I wish I could ask, but we both know why that phone call would go straight to voicemail.

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #relationships #relationship #disorganized attachment #separation

[writingbyje]

See You Soon?

in our separation I hope my words are the forehead kiss you are not quite ready to receive

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #relationships #separation #love #affection

[writingbyje]

Fool For You

Late night texts, later night lips. In your arms, in your hands, gently, tenderly, once again. New place, same city. Same white bed sheets within you'll spend the next week idly finding long blonde pieces of me. It's hard to forget me, isn't it? Not just the pieces of me that stay with you when I crawl back into your bed, but the parts of you you leave with me, too. The way I kiss your neck, kiss down your body, leave you out of breath. You make me tremble, too; it's been this way since we met. Holding your face in my hands, fingertips grazing your jawline, I'm a fool only for you. We don't talk about how we left things, how you hurt me. Our lips can't part long enough to find the words. How long has it been? Slowly. Two years? Deeply. Three? Look at me. Eyes wandering over my body, taking me in, you finally meet mine: "So beautiful." Do you know how hard it is to say no to you?

#creative nonfiction #writing #relationships #intimacy #fool for you

[writingbyje]

"Survivor"

In the light, I wonder how depression ever convinced me to leave this earth. In the night, I remember.

#poetry #poems #poem #depression #mental illness #trauma #suicide #suicide survivor #ptsd

[writingbyje]

Disappearing Act

I bought you birthday gifts in early April. It's mid-July. They still sit unopened, untouched, in my to-go bag.

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #relationships #relationship #birthday

[writingbyje]

Twin Flame

you struggle to show me all of you worried all of you would be too much don’t you realize too much is still not enough when everything I want is you

#writing #poetry #poems #poem #twin flame #relationships #relationship #love #fear of rejection #intimacy

[writingbyje]

Stranger, Pt. 2

the grace and grief of knowing you will never be able to give my future children the kind of childhood  you gave me

#poetry #poems #poem #writing #childhood #child abuse #healing #recovery #abusive parents #boundaries #grief