Ruby: Words ending in ‘ie’ are so cute. Like cookie or sweetie or cookie.

Jaune: Die.

Cloud: Yadda yadda insert suicidal remark here. I’ve literally run out of ways to express how I want to die.

Jaune: I have been brave for so long. I deserve the universe not to be terrifying for five minutes.

Ruby: I feel that.

Jaune: Oh shit. You too? Wanna do some drugs?

Weiss: Imagine waking up in the body of someone you can’t stand.

Jaune: I wake up like this every day.

chatnoir-art:

😳

Yang: We all know you’re in love with him.

Weiss: I want nothing to do with Jaune.

Yang: I never mentioned Jaune.

Weiss:

Weiss: YOU

Jaune: Are we doing anything tonight?

Weiss: I don’t know. Are you feeling better?

Jaune: Still feel like burning to death. Oh, you meant the stomach bug I had. Yeah. Much better.

Aerith: What’s your birthstone?

Cloud: Rock bottom.

Jaune: A truth and a lie: I have an enormous penis and I have never been to Atlas.

Weiss: You’re such a fucking liar. There’s no way your dick is tiny! Nobody would make as many small dick jokes as you do if their dick was small.

Jaune: Wanna find out? Wanna meet the meat? The legend?

Weiss: *blushes* I mean… Kinda. Just to fact check.

Cloud: Not feeling suicidal or anything but sometimes I look at this world and don’t feel like participating.

Jaune: I want to see you right now.

Ruby: But I’m going to take a shower.

Jaune: That makes me want to see you even more.

Ruby: *blushes* Well you know what?

Jaune: What?

Ruby: When did you get so smooth?

Weiss, how was it like when you first confessed to Jaune?

Weiss: It was the definition of slow going. Because I told him over and over again that I was into him but eventually I just gave up and baited him in and kissed him.

Jaune: Turns out getting kissed helps with the low self esteem.

Weiss: Yeah so that’s how that went down.

Ruby: You’re both overthinking.

Jaune: What if-

Ruby: Nope!

Weiss: No seriously but what if though.

Ruby:

Weiss: What if everyone else is just underthinking.

Weiss: You don’t have any savings!?

Jaune: Well first of all I didn’t think I’d live past twenty so jot that down.

Jaune: Aw man. I ran out of pain to huff.

Jaune: paint*

Jaune: I still have plenty of pain.

Weiss: Do not.

Cloud: One time I ate an almond joy and broke out in hives so I was like ‘maybe I’m allergic to almonds’ but then Aerith said 'maybe you’re allergic to joy.’ And she was RIGHT.

Jaune: I’m not in the ‘friendzone’ I’m simply not good enough.

wu-sisyphus-gang:

Weiss: The next time you feel like self harming just ask me for head.

Jaune: What?

Weiss: You fucking heard me. Get Pavloved.

wu-sisyphus-gang:

Weiss: How would the gods punish you after death?

Jaune: They’d bring me back to life.

Weiss: Are you okay?

Jaune: Weiss, come on. Come on, Weiss. Come on. 

Cloud: I lost my youth to mentally illness and it’s not poetic it’s tragic.