Ruby: Words ending in ‘ie’ are so cute. Like cookie or sweetie or cookie.
Cloud: Yadda yadda insert suicidal remark here. I’ve literally run out of ways to express how I want to die.
Jaune: I have been brave for so long. I deserve the universe not to be terrifying for five minutes.
Ruby: I feel that.
Jaune: Oh shit. You too? Wanna do some drugs?
Weiss: Imagine waking up in the body of someone you can’t stand.
Jaune: I wake up like this every day.
Yang: We all know you’re in love with him.
Weiss: I want nothing to do with Jaune.
Yang: I never mentioned Jaune.
Jaune: Are we doing anything tonight?
Weiss: I don’t know. Are you feeling better?
Jaune: Still feel like burning to death. Oh, you meant the stomach bug I had. Yeah. Much better.
Aerith: What’s your birthstone?
Cloud: Rock bottom.
Jaune: A truth and a lie: I have an enormous penis and I have never been to Atlas.
Weiss: You’re such a fucking liar. There’s no way your dick is tiny! Nobody would make as many small dick jokes as you do if their dick was small.
Jaune: Wanna find out? Wanna meet the meat? The legend?
Weiss: *blushes* I mean… Kinda. Just to fact check.
Cloud: Not feeling suicidal or anything but sometimes I look at this world and don’t feel like participating.
Jaune: I want to see you right now.
Ruby: But I’m going to take a shower.
Jaune: That makes me want to see you even more.
Ruby: *blushes* Well you know what?
Ruby: When did you get so smooth?
Weiss, how was it like when you first confessed to Jaune?
Weiss: It was the definition of slow going. Because I told him over and over again that I was into him but eventually I just gave up and baited him in and kissed him.
Jaune: Turns out getting kissed helps with the low self esteem.
Weiss: Yeah so that’s how that went down.
Ruby: You’re both overthinking.
Jaune: What if-
Weiss: No seriously but what if though.
Weiss: What if everyone else is just underthinking.
Weiss: You don’t have any savings!?
Jaune: Well first of all I didn’t think I’d live past twenty so jot that down.
Jaune: Aw man. I ran out of pain to huff.
Jaune: I still have plenty of pain.
Weiss: Do not.
Cloud: One time I ate an almond joy and broke out in hives so I was like ‘maybe I’m allergic to almonds’ but then Aerith said 'maybe you’re allergic to joy.’ And she was RIGHT.
Jaune: I’m not in the ‘friendzone’ I’m simply not good enough.
Weiss: The next time you feel like self harming just ask me for head.
Weiss: You fucking heard me. Get Pavloved.
Weiss: How would the gods punish you after death?
Jaune: They’d bring me back to life.
Weiss: Are you okay?
Jaune: Weiss, come on. Come on, Weiss. Come on.