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hey besties kinda on hiatus rn and still am but uh. i need survey responses

like. my grade depends on it (i have to finish this essay on tuesday, 19th sept)

thx ily guys

#yeet.txt #survey #school help #essay writing

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fucks me up that by total coincidence the sun and moon's size difference is exactly matched to their difference in distance from us, thus making our beautiful total solar eclipses where you can see the silver threads of the sun's corona possible because the moon just covers the sun completely

The stars (literally) aligned just right for this experience to be possible. It's likely that aliens don't have this

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A. I Would Like To See It (hazel blowing shit up)

B. for someone who died pre-nuclear weapons hazel sure uses nuclear analogies a lot

C. I Would Like To See It (hazel controlling plutonium)

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Percy: We need a diversion. I say Jason gets naked.

Thalia: No.

Percy: I could get naked.

The squad: NO!!!

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come closer im just a normal boy with very long hair and a sports bra

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Meg chill lol

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Fmk: The benevolent Shrooms, concept of the infinte universe, and haldi ka doodh 💀💀💀

SGDFEDUWYGFKUYF7IU

f benevolent shrooms, m concept of infinite universe, haldi ka doodh can fucking die

#everytime ive drank haldi ka doodh ive THROWN UP i hate it #rtc my beloved

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Ace culture is feeling too queer for cishet community and not queer enough for LGBTQIA+ community

x

#FELT THIS IN MY SOUL

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We Haven't Technically Come Full Circle Yet, But This Is Where You Know We're Going To

Ok, so even for the most die hard Artemis Fowl fans, this tends to be the book where they say the story and/or the worldbuilding goes off the rails. I am not that Artemis Fowl fan, and it wasn't until the relisten (my hardcovers are in Dad's Basement in Alaska, so lately I've been audiobooking this series) that I really understood why I wasn't as thrown by the seemingly sudden shift as everyone else was. And it's a subtle cue, but it's one that I think actually works. So let's talk Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony.

*SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS*

The first Artemis Fowl book begins with Artemis and Butler sweating half to death in Ho Chi Minh City trying to buy a lead to a Fairy. It's an opening that tells us we are going to deal with heists, kidnapping, and Artemis being very much the bad guy. It gives us the genre we are going to be working in, and that's basically crime fiction, with Artemis learning not to be a complete dickhead as the character arc. We get that and it basically finishes out with The Opal Deception.

The beginning of The Lost Colony mirrors the beginning of that first book. It starts with Artemis and Butler sweating half to death on a sidewalk in Barcelona waiting for a demon to materialize. We as readers are back to--to borrow a phrase from Robert Jordan--if not THE beginning, A beginning. This is where the book tells you that we are revamping the series, and there are even clues that this will be more of a fairy tale than a crime novel. And that there will be a metric fraggle rock ton of time travel, which holds true for all the rest of the Artemis Fowl novels. Time in general is a key theme in the later books, as Artemis himself tells us when he responds to Butler's query about whether the demon is beaming down from space with "Not space, old friend, [...] Time."

We also get the most hilarious self-actualized Artemis-ism on his own puberty in this chapter:

"It's this blasted puberty, Butler. Every time I see a pretty girl, I waste valuable mind space thinking about her. The girl at that restaurant, for instance. I've glanced in her direction a dozen times in the past few minutes."

And aside from being hilarious, this also cues us into the fact that The Lost Colony is a new beginning for Artemis and the series. Our boy finally hit puberty, and he is not the same cold, focused, calculating little asshole we remember from book 1. Everything about this chapter screams "Hey, remember the first book? This ain't that." It cues the reader that this will be something different, something unexpected. I kind of love this symmetrical asymmetry approach to revamping the series.

We also get the fun of watching two geniuses mastermind against each other while learning how to puberty, and honestly I love that Minerva Paradizo exists. She is a nice little nod to the fact that Artemis is really going to be TORN between the human and fairy worlds. As I believe Philippa Boynes said of the end of Return of the King, if you want to make Frodo going with Sam have weight, you have to give him the other choice. And Eoin Colfer is setting Artemis up to HAVE the choice.

As far as our demons and wrlocks go, mostly what I have to say is that No. 1 is a delightful little cinnamon roll and I love him and I want to scritch his little demon horns.

Now. The other massive thing we need to talk about here is the climax of the book, because Artemis high-key just...time travels. And steals magic. But mostly MOTHERFUCKING TIME TRAVELS. And saves Holly's life with math. But again, TIME TRAVELS. At the end of this book, Artemis is yeeted three years into the future, so he is a 14-year-old body with a 25-year-old brain in a temporal location where he is supposed to be 17. It's peak wibbly wobbly timey wimey ball of stuff. Artemis also has one of Holly's eyes and a little spark of magic. Our boy is fully in fairy tale territory here, and this book was structured really brilliantly to transition the readers from middle grade crime fiction to borderline YA fairy tales. And honestly, if you're willing to let criminal mastermind Artemis go and grow with him (or just consider the series as having two distinct halves, as I do), then I don't actually think the series falls apart in the latter half.

Lots of Artemis Fowl fans might disagree with me on this assessment, and that's fine. You can love on the first 3-4 books and just pretend the second half of the series doesn't exist. But I really love the change, and from a purely structural, writer perspective, Eoin Colfer pulled off an IMPRESSIVE AS HELL shift.

#OP THIS ANALYSIS IS GREAT #AND EXACTLY!! #like yeah i did personally have more fun with the Crime half but the transition... oh y god it happens so perfectly #and for that sole reason i cant NOT like the second half. because its just as brilliant and the transition is so SMART #i dont think ive ever seen a series have a genre shift like that-- especially in the reverse sense because its almost like #its going LESS dark as opposed to more? which is just really fucking cool #anyway eoin colfer is great

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it is incredibly important to me that you all understand that frank zhang is hot as FUCK. he's also fat. the two are not mutually exclusive.

#frank zhang

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Young people and old people's complacency and acceptance of autoplay terrifies me if I'm finished a video and another begins playing THAT I DIDN'T CHOOSE I'm already loading my gun

#this bit a bit more extreme #even when i 'shuffle play' playlists i look at the queue of songs and rearrange them to my exact desire 💀💀 #like??? it has to bE PRECISELY ND SPECIFICALLY N EXACTLY CURATED BY M E or i will burn something

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When I was “I want him” about a male character im not saying I wanna fuck him. I want him like a spoiled little girl wants a pony, I want to him so I can put him on my shelf for safekeeping, I want him like a good hearty stew on a winter’s evening, I want to put him in a jar and shake it.

#when i say 'i want him' it means that i want to cut him open with a box cutter #hope this helps <3

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everyone tell me your favourite/personal interpretation of paris and helen right now GO

#I NEED TO KNOW WHAT Y'ALL THINK #WAS IT FORCED?? WAS IT LOVE??? WAS IT A POWER PLAY??? #DID THE TWO OF THEM EVEN LOOK AT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN THE SAME WAY?? #DID THEY DIG THEIR OWN GRAVES AND REALISE IT ONLY WHEN IT WAS TOO LATE???? #OR DID THEY STAND BY THEIR CHOICE TILL IT ENDED??? #I MUST KNOW. I HAVE TO HAVE TO KNOW WHAT Y'ALL THINK OMFG #the iliad #paris of troy #helen of sparta #greek mythology #the trojan war #homer #yeet.txt

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every time hektor and paris’ conversation at the end of book 6 is misconstrued a younger sibling dies

#‘hektor hates paris’ BOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO #he’s FRUSTRATED. he’s MAD AT HIM!!!! but he LOVES HIM!!!! #->ops tags #the iliad

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ToA, a series mostly about platonic love, actually handled the few romances the protagonist did have really well (unlike certain other rrverse series). Yeah, Apollo was single by the end and didn't have any active romantic relationships throughout the books, but the way his exes were written with him?? The drama, the angst, the intimacy?? The way he whispered their names. The way they haunted him all his life. The way he pretended not to care about them, but could always remember their time together and how bad he was to them. The way they forced him to reflect on himself and grow as a person. How he realised it was wrong to treat Daphne like a trophy when she didn't want him in the first place. How there was always sadness and love in his voice when he remembered Hyacinthus. How he could recall Will, Kayla, and Austin's parents despite acting like he couldn't. The Cumean Sibyl's final talk with him and the way she never forgave him but let go of her hatred of him for her own sake. Don't even get me started on Commodus' impact - he and Apollo only had a few pages of flashbacks yet Rick completely sold me on their romance and you could feel all, and I mean all, of their pain.

Immaculate.

#no because toa was a work of ART imo #downright my favourite series

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dog person canon

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jsgdiuhdwiulei i was going to sleep 2 and a half hours ago and tben i blinke d and

#its 4.30 i need to #sleep #i have so so much schoolwork. like 10hrs idek #actually fuck it i actually WILL sleep now. gn yall #good fucking night #yeet.txt