xxworshipmexx

[xxworshipmexx]

I feel so hollow without you. Sick. Like I could do something awful.

[xxworshipmexx]

hi

[xxworshipmexx]

It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it's from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.

[xxworshipmexx]

mental disorders are just names which group together observed experiences as made visible by psychiatric institutions and i wish this was more widely understood theyre not like some ontological attribute in your brain

[xxworshipmexx]

[xxworshipmexx]

Ppl will be like “end the stigma around mental illness uwu” but still judge you if you’re unemployed or single or not completely self-sufficient or healthy or perfectly groomed or still live with parents and don’t see the hypocrisy in that whatsoever

[xxworshipmexx]

romanticizing mental illness isnt ok. lets sexualize it instead

[xxworshipmexx]

[xxworshipmexx]

[xxworshipmexx]

[xxworshipmexx]

unpopular opinion: mental illness can make people behave in extremely toxic and sometimes even abusive or manipulative ways. relationships and friendships with mentally ill people can be extremely difficult, unpleasant, or even harmful. though this may not be intentional and i have sympathy for those who struggle with this, other people are allowed to remove themselves from your life for their own happiness and sanity. they are not bad people for this. the idea that someone *has* to stay with you while you heal or help fix you is wrong, people are allowed to prioritise themselves. it’s on you to seek therapy and heal. being mentally ill doesn’t give you a pass to behave in toxic ways and hurt others.

[xxworshipmexx]

friendly reminder that narcissistic abuse as a concept is *built* on the ableism + dehumanization of ppl with personality disorders and lacks literally any specific traits that separate it from the already established forms of abuse. It feels good to separate yourself from your abuser. I know it does. but it's not helpful and you're doing harm to those around you.

[xxworshipmexx]

maybe i am a bit codependent but also we were not made to face the world alone

[xxworshipmexx]

This love burns you, maims you, twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love, and it makes monsters of us all.

[xxworshipmexx]

why are mentally ill people the only ones who need to “change” and be “good”? why are personality disorders demonized to be “evil abusers”? why are trauma victims refused any compassion after their loved ones abused them for years?

why do we need to do all the hard work when the ones who hurt us don’t need to make any sort of effort? why are we the evil, and our aggressors the poor little angels that need to be understood? why aren’t we understood? why are we ignored? why are we bad people?

[xxworshipmexx]

You can’t deserve a person’s love. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking like that. They either love you, or they don’t. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for them to love you, because love isn’t something you earn by being good enough. It isn’t something that can be quantified or doled out. Don’t blame yourself for not being loved how you need to, just teach yourself how to look for love where love lives.

[xxworshipmexx]

something something “i don’t appreciate people touching my things.” being used in reference to a person before the other person just goes berserk because THEIR person who belongs to them got hurt/touched/etc something something hot something is wrong with me