yassen-gregorowitch

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Alex: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Yassen to Alex, in Eagle Strike: Physically, yes, you could shoot me. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

[yassen-gregorowitch]

ok but what’s your opinion of the other alex rider characters as different types of animals?? the cats thing was so funny 😭😭

alex is a kitty, a teeny blond cat that's a thousand times more destructive than his sweet eyes and floofy fur suggest.

thinking about what the other characters are and ive suddenly forgotten every single animal to ever exist??? i had to actually google "animals names" ive never felt so ashamed

im tempted to say everyone would be a cat but. hmm. tom would be a puppy. it's just Vibes. you know those videos of puppies and kittens being best friends and adorable and silly together? that's tom and alex. (also i saw this one tiktok(?) where the person stored dog treats where the dog couldn't reach and so the cat kept jumping up and tossing the treats down to the dog. that's literally tom and alex in the first episode)

yassen I'd say is a big cat. sorry, i just love cats. but yeah id say he'd be like. a jaguar or something? like. fast, dangerous, and just a little weird.

jack would be a bird of some sort. an owl. there's the whole wisdom aspect but also they're beautiful and hunters and also they're protective.

ian would be. hmm. if alex is a cat does that mean ian has to be a cat? cause im actually leaning towards him being a wolf? like. an arctic wolf, maybe.

mrs jones would be. hmmmmm. that's a hard one. i wanna say,,,,,red panda? im just going with vibes for this.

alan blunt would be a snake. the kind of snake that wraps around you and squeezes until you just. die.

tbh i dunno about k-unit cause we barely get to see them. but it would be really funny if. the animals they are have nothing to do with their codenames? like if wolf was a bear?

i dunno if my animal suggestions work, because i spent more time googling animals than i did typing this, but i had a lot of fun with it :D

[yassen-gregorowitch]

tfw you're out to interview a local celebrity, only to find them floating dead in a river 🤨

or: aspiring investigativejournalist!alex and entertainmentjournalist!tom are out to interview a football player who was last seen by the docks. upon reaching their destination, they discover the subject of their latest story floating dead in the water. after pulling some strings and contacting a few friends, they stumble upon evidence linking the dead man to a cargo ship manned by a certain blonde-haired russian captain who, suspiciously enough, refuses to allow any pesky journalists onboard 😆

(not the whole plot, there's a helluva lot more)

this au is inspired by the adventures of tintin and is something that i briefly mentioned to @corolune a while ago when we were both discussing the series! it's also the one which my most recent art of sabina is tied to :) @afewbulbsshortofatanningbed

a further expansion on sabina's role in this au will hopefully be coming soon 😅

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Wolf tutoring The Boys in history: -and after the American forces pulled out, Vietnam was united by? (North Vietnam)

Alex, who was only half listening: Vietnam

Wolf:

Wolf: ...Cub, I asked which side united Viet-

Tom, who wasn't listening and copying Alex's answers: Vietnam

Wolf:

Julius, hiding a smirk: Vietnam

Freddy, just going with the mood: Vietnam

Wolf:

Wolf: *vein throbs*

[yassen-gregorowitch]

tom: i want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

alex: i wake up at 4:30am

tom:

tom: i want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Tom: Can you keep a secret? Alex: Do you know anything about my life? Tom: No, I do not. Good point.

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Give me Alex Rider’s politics teacher just being absolutely...astounded by the amount of knowledge this kid has on not only the socio-economic climate of literally every freaking country but the most freakishly good instincts of how each new politician that comes along is going to fare. It’s at the point he now has a secret cabinet of sticky notes on Alex’s off hand comments of each new public figure because God Dammit he always turns out to be right.

Give me Alex’s Riders politics teacher who stands up for him against others in the staff room because his essays provide the freshest viewpoints he’s seen in over 20 years. Ethics, politics, morality, social structures, negotiations, public figures, military influences and ulterior motivators; Alex Rider handles each topic with a grace and insight he hasn’t seen since university. Quite frankly he doesn’t know whether to be impressed or terrified. He settles on curious.

Give me Alex Rider’s politics teacher who’s family served in the army, who recognises the shadows of war in those dark brown eyes even if he can never understand why. The only one that seems to notice that seeing Alex’s controlled, efficient steps through a boisterous crowd of school children is like watching a ballet dancer glide through a swarm of drunk seagulls.

Give me Alex Rider’s politics teacher who let’s the poor kid take a nap in class or snack when he wants to (partly because 50% of the time he looks ready to drop) but mostly because deep down they both know there’s nothing that he can teach him here. Alex had an already pretty unusual and impressive grasp of foreign affairs before his uncle died and in the years since then? Well, he’s pretty sure Alex speaks more languages fluently than he has fingers.

Give me Alex Rider’s politics teacher whose subject gives him more of a glimpse into his talents than most people are allowed to see; who takes one good look at his extra little piece of the puzzle and thinks yeah. This kid is brilliant.

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Tom: this is giving me good PTSD

Alex:

Alex: do you mean nostalgia???

[yassen-gregorowitch]

tom: i have a black belt too, you know

kyra: what, in martial arts?

alex, sighing: no, it's from gucci

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Imagine: Tom, Ben, and Alex having a nice homemade dinner one night.

Tom: What would you say is the worst decision you've ever made?

Ben: hmmmm... I think I'd say agreeing to using that bunker buster during my last mission. There was so much paperwork after. *sigh*

Alex: Temporarily joining SCORPIA for sure. *sips coke*

Tom: well damn... I was going to say taking calculus but I guess I'm just boring.

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Alex: I need to talk to this guy so I am going to wait all day outside his place of work and hope he leaves through the one door im observing

Tom: …

Alex: …

Tom: I could set things on fire?

Alex: That’s a much better idea

[yassen-gregorowitch]

i love tom so much

[yassen-gregorowitch]

sabina: why are alex and tom sitting with their backs to each other?

kyra: they had a fight

sabina: then why are they holding hands?

kyra: 'cause they get sad when they fight

[yassen-gregorowitch]

Ben: are you into cars?

Tom: yes! It was truly a cinematic masterpiece

Ben: no, I meant like, are you a car person?

Tom: are you asking if I'm a transformer

[yassen-gregorowitch]

headcanon: Tom saying unexpectedly rude (but funny) things when he's frustrated, like fixing his bike chain and it won't stay in place and he's just "OH FUCK ME SIDEWAYS" and then continues like nothing happened

[yassen-gregorowitch]

i’m dying tom is so funny

i’m just imagining alex being all serious and carefully telling tom that the spy stuff is top secret and he’s not allowed to tell anyone ever

and tom’s like yes of course top secret 🤐 🫡

and then he just announces it to his brother with no warning. like all jerry did was ask alex what he was doing in naples. and tom with no hesitation was like ALEX IS A SPY AND HES HERE ON BUSINESS