yellow-amarelo

[yellow-amarelo]

I walked for a long time today. And the entire time I could only think how much better I would feel if I wasn’t here..

#gone #long walks #don’t want to be here #better if I left

[yellow-amarelo]

So many strong desires to do things I know I shouldn’t...

#strong desires #so wrong #don’t do it

[yellow-amarelo]

Mental disorders aren’t real unless a doctor tells you you have it.. right?

#fake #mentally unstable #ed #undiagnosed something

[yellow-amarelo]

Are you ever just so annoyed by everything single thing someone does you want to jump out of the car?

#annoying #annoyed #shut up #go away

[yellow-amarelo]

“You’re always haunted by the idea you’re wasting your life.”

— Chuck Palahniuk 

[yellow-amarelo]

In the middle of an argument the other day my vision started to change. It was like my peripheral vision was starting to blur and the person I was looking at seemed to be moving away from me as if I was zooming out. I walked away and started to look around myself at different objects near me and it went away. I haven’t been able to shake the memory since.

#blurred vision #arguing #disoriented #confused

[yellow-amarelo]

am i the only one...

I don’t feel things anymore. I know what happens should wreck me but instead I just think “whatever.”. I will literally forget about it the next day and be fine. The amount of constant betrayal should make me never forget it. Yet, I do.  I know its coming at some point each time I just never know when. When it finally, inevitably, shows up I just don’t feel anything. I will typically cry each time but I think that’s just to make them feel guilty. They aren’t sad tears or even angry ones they are empty ones. Just salt water escaping my eyes. 

Is this what it is to feel numb?

Its a confusing feeling.  

Maybe one day I will grow to like it. 

#alone #betrayal #confused #am i the only one? #numb