yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

Felix is husband material.



[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

I cannot begin to explain to you guys how much I love Felix and Demetri’s stupid little 19th century robes

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

GOD i cant stop thinking about how weird it is that twilight was inspired by MCR which was inspired by 911. when everyone else was caught up in this aggressve patriotism as a form of defense and an excuse for violent bigotry, mcr said lets make something beautiful. lets make something that will let us heal. and then twilight and harry potter used to have this whole fandom feud, but ended up almost being two sides of the same coin. both deeply terrible and written by bigoted white women who either did nothing to amend for the damage her respective writing did, or actively tried to make it worse. and how they ended up sort of being married together by the creation of My Immortal, which is arguably a twilightified fanfic of harry potter, written by someone that absolutely worshipped gerard way. and how mcr was asked to make a song for the twilight soundtrack to which they said fuck you and instead made Vampire Money, a song about what itd be like if they succumed to capitalist greed and devalued their art by leaning into the edgy aesthetic beyond the end of its shelf life and whored out their emotions for profit. and then they broke up because it really Was killing them. and now theyre back. and then the WWWYf tour happened. and That happened. they turned it into an opportunity to make a giant fuck you to that selfsame concept, dressing up as a parody of what theyd have become if theyd done what the public wanted of them, if theyd stayed closeted and suicidal and become consumed by the addiction of selling that pain for profit. a point underlined by the contrast with how theyve been presenting themselves the past 3 months on their real tour, specifically gerard, and how specifically BECAUSE they took a hiatus, BECAUSE they didnt give into greed for more vampire money and didnt destroy themselves, they are alive today in order to be onstage now in front of us. awake and unafraid. a giant celebration of trans joy and affirmation and acknowledgement and love between them and us, their fans, specifically their trans fans. how they finished the WWWYf show with Vampire Money and no one in that crowd got it because no one in that crowd Would get it, and that perfectly crystalized their absolutely scathing point. and then on their real tour they made the more blatant but less serious reference by wearing a twilight shirt and talking about robert pattinson, just goofing off and having fun being gay, bc with us they finally can. and in the meantime, jk rowling has written a self insert cringe comp book longer than the fucking bible trying desparately to cling to relevancy and make herself out to be the victim in her own transphobia, desparately whoring out her bigotry for profit. and the fact that 50 shades of gray is just a twilight fanfic that caused 365 Days to get written and also kind of caused the normalization of fanfic getting turned into actual monetized netflix level media. but ofc its only okay when its cishet. the smut turned netflix series exuality is only acceptable when its straight. and its all toxic af!!! but somehow its fine that THATS plastered on every billboard!!! but the original queer people it was inspired by were shunned and shamed and now that theyre back from the dead, everyones trying to capitalize on their return. and they said go fuck yourselves!!!! and meanwhile the same type of people who hate us and them ARE succumbing to that greed, and theyre fucking floundering!!! just.i just. i. uGHGGGGGG

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

*During Breaking Dawn pt1 when the family find out Bella is pregnant*

Edward: “Carlisle I don’t know how this happened”

Emmett: “Well did you wear a condom”

*the whole Cullen family stare at him*

Emmett: “Oh so none of you guys got the safe sex talk”

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

Ur so real for this

things would not go well for me if i was bella swan. i would b horny for too many vampires, jasper would snitch, & my debauchery would not b tolerated by the canon evangelical vamps

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

I’m tired of being a hot girl, the ibs is not worth it

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

🤎Marcus V. Headcanons🤎

Marcus was born into a very wealthy family in Ancient Greece

His family were world renowned scholars

hence his love for books and knowledge

Had a very happy upbringing

Known to be kind of shy and standoffish

One day, Marcus decided to find a quiet place to read in the middle of a forest

this will not end well

Marcus is attacked by a strange creature and left for dead

When we awakes in the forest alone, he realizes what he’s become

he had read about this in a book somewhere

Chose to leave his family for their safety and travel the world

For many years, he survived on killing random people in the forest and breaking into libraries to read books

what a nerd

One day he came across another vampire

aro

They became buddy-buddy and decided they wanted to bring order to the vampire world

by killing the romanians

Spent a year traveling and building an army

One day, Aro brought his sister Didyme back

my man was in love

They fell in love instantly

Soon, Caius and Athenodora joined them and they quickly won the war

When they settled in Volterra, he became the go-to scholar

He taught new recruits all the history and lore of the vampire world

Known as the guards therapist and they all go to him if they are going through anything

Marcus would also teach languages and customs

Loves his family (the kings and queens) more than anything and is very protective

kinda like the older brother of the family

Becomes more extroverted when he’s alone with his family

Took a liking to Felix because he loves his energy

Spends the majority of his time reading books

Watches TV with Didyme sometimes

Not scary at all and is never angry

Everyone’s favorite king

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

Plz I got the tragic one 😂💀

I made a what the fandom thinks of you generator

edit: please remember

1. i have to read all the tags

2. ITS RANDOMLY GENERATED I AM SORRY IF YOU DONT LIKE YOUR RESULT BUT DO NOT FUCKING HARASS ME ABOUT IT

thank you

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

emmett: we have fun, don’t we edward?

edward: i’ve never been more stressed out in my entire life.

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

This man can't be fixed. I can fuck him though. Maybe that will calm him down.

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

Newborn Vampire: Now that I'm a vampire what should I do?

Demetri:

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

oh to be at an irish pub right now

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

So I’m doing some training for work and tell me why they are using Renaissance as the injured child for the example accident report. IM SCREAMING

#felix volturi #demetri volturi #volturi #twilight #twilight revival #twilight renaissance #alice cullen #jasper hale #aro volturi #the volturi #felix twilight #jane volturi #felix #alec volturi #twilight saga #twilight cullens #edward cullen #the cullens #emmett cullen #bella cullen

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodvampire]

It’s autumn now I’ve decided it so it’s true 🤪