Last Seen Blogs
animefactfactfact
bnha facts.
zeusborn
SACRIFICE
proginangelique-blog
Sans titre
42night-rpclosed
Stay...For 2 Night?
kyouei-love
全部競泳水着
Text
Overthinking kills creativity. Perfectionism kills creativity. If there's something you want to do as a creative, then get off your ass and do it. You'll never achieve anything if you're stuck in your head all the time. Don't worry about the quality. Worry about actually getting shit out. You can fix everything later. Don't think about. Just do it. You'll appreciate it later.
This right here — this is what I struggle the most with. So much shit in my life could've happened if I'd just done something rather than being stuck in my head. So, this post is for me more than anything. Like Nas said, "You gotta get up, you nah'msayin', and get yours cuz its yours". I gotta get up and start doing shit. Dreams aren't shit unless you make them into something.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Damn, DOOM is gone. Rest in peace, bruh...
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday"
— Anthony Hopkins, Twitter
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's time for me to call it quits on trying to get my music out there. I've been trying since 2012 and nothing has really changed over the past eight years. When it comes to making music, I can honestly say that I don't love it like I used to years ago. In 2017, I fell into a really bad and prolongued slump that's been going on since. Most of the beats I've made since then have been subpar and mediocre aside from a few diamonds every once in while. Nothing really stands out to me. I've hit a plateau. The curiosity, determination and excitement I used to have has mostly faded away. I don't enjoy it anymore.
I went from making three-four beats a week to barely finishing a beat or two once a month. Music used to be my escape. It was my passion and my daily grind. When I make beats I put my heart and soul into it. But lately I've been wondering why I'm still holding onto this dead dream; this thing I used to be passionate about. No amount of breaks or time away will change the fact that I don't enjoy making music anymore. I have no confidence or faith in my music or skill. Makings beats feels like a chore these days.
I look at so many artists out there with their amazing music, and then look at what I've done and how inferior and weak my music is compared to theirs. I could never reach that level. I can't do what they do. So, I start to wonder if I should stop and just enjoy music solely as a listener. It's not like anyone is ever going to hear any of my music. Not that anyone would care, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I loved and will continue to love the music I've made over the years. But all I'm doing now is I'm holding onto something that isn't there anymore.
Letting go is never easy but it's been about 14 years. Time for me to wash my hands and walk away. It's over.
0 notes
Text
That homesickness is really starting to kick in now. I miss New York City. I can't stand southern life. Never could. It's so fucking boring and slow. I can't go anywhere since I don't know how to drive, and even if I did there's nothing to do out here anyway. I need to get back to my city as soon as possible. I do not think I can last 6-9 months out here.
1 note
·
View note
Text
I've never been in love with anyone. I've been infatuated with many females over the years, but I've never fallen in love with any of them. I don't even know what that would feel like. Romance eludes me. I don't think I'll ever get 'that feeling' when you know with every fiber of your being that you truly love somebody and want to be with them. And to be honest, I don't want that. It used to bother me when I was younger but over these past few years I've come to the realization that it's just not for me. I'm not the 'fall-in-love' type. I'm not the 'boyfriend material' guy. I'm the dude you chill with to ease your mind and forget about the bullshit, or talk to about whatever's bothering you if you feel like it. I'm the dude thay you talk shit with, joke around and crack jokes with. I'm the dude you kick it with before you go home to your boyfriend/man. Basically, I'm the homeboy or the laid-back co-worker. That's what I am. I don't see myself falling in love with anybody. Is what it is. That's why I say I like close friendships. I hope no woman ever falls in love with me because they'd be setting themselves up for failure. That's just the way it is. Some people just aren't meant for romance.
0 notes
Text
I'll take a platonic friendship over a romantic relationship any day. Never had a girlfriend within my 27 years on this Earth and I don't want one. I value close friendships over that.
2 notes
·
View notes
Photo
In another world, maybe you'd still be here...
1 note
·
View note
Text
The world is shaped by two things – stories told and the memories they leave behind.
— Vera Nazarian, Dreams of the Compass Rose
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
People who can just hit the pillow and instantly go to sleep are my sworn enemies. Fuck yall. Over there looking all comfortable and shit while I'm laying here hoping tonight is the night I get some damn sleep lol.
0 notes
Text
Next week is going to be my last week in New York for a while. I don't want to leave but given where I am in life at this point I had no choice. I could've stuck it out for a few more months and tried to find a higher paying job, but I'm so sick of my living situation. I've been dealing with this since 2012. I have to leave. Plus, I know me. I wouldn't have done shit during those few months. I am the world's worst procrastinator.
So although moving back in with my mother isn't exactly what I want to do, I see this as a great opportunity for me to start getting my shit together. The move is only temporary. I'm giving myself six months. Within those six months I have to save up, re-think my life and grind as much as possible so I can come back to my city the right way. I love New York City. I was born and raised here. Wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
It's a setback but it is what it is. I'll be back. That's a promise.
0 notes
Text
It's crazy how someone's voice can put your mind at ease.
0 notes
Text
"I stop being sad and be awesome instead". I wish that's how things worked. I wish you could just turn off your sadness, depression, anger and loneliness from the push of a button. But life doesn't work that way. You're forced to take it. You can try to drown your sorrows by distracting yourself with funny videos, binging tv shows and movies, wasting time on social media, playing games, writing, singing, drawing/painting, dancing or whatever it is that you love to do or that'll ease your mind.
But what happens when you don't feel like doing any of those things? What happens when those distractions no longer work? What do you do then? Force yourself into those distractions? Doing that will only result in you to gradually detaching yourself from those things. And then you're truly left with nothing - nothing but you and a troubled mind and a troubled heart that's irreparably damaged from years of neglect. And now, you'll never get better.
Each day is slightly less worse or just worse than the last. And then you find yourself staring into the void trying not to feel anything or think anything because the pain is just too deep. You're no longer in control of your thoughts or feelings. You're a passenger in your own mind, in your heart and in your life. You've become a prisoner of self. You begin to wonder why you're still here. And now you truly don't know what to do. "You" are just a caricature of who you used to be. A shell of a person forever trapped in darkness.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish I got to see the Twin Towers in person.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Spent all day lying in bed. Usually, I hate when I do that because I hate wasting a day doing nothing which is ironically how most of my days end. But today? I had to. I'm tired. I'm tired of everything, to be honest. I don't sleep. My days are spent working, struggling and failing to sleep because of my insomnia, wasting time on the internet and watching anime or playing games. I don't have a life. I'm just living for the sake of being alive at this point. All I'm doing is taking up space. My life has no meaning. I have no purpose. No real ambitions. Nothing to look forward to. I'm 27 and still live with an old woman I hate. That's my life.
I make $15.50 working a boring but easy overnight job. And $15 isn't jack shit out here because this city only gives a fuck about rich people now. You know the saying, "Feed the rich, Kill the poor"? That's how things have been going out here for years. You can't afford shit on a $15 per hour salary unless you want to live with 5-6 strangers in a cramped, tiny ass excuse for an apartment. I'm not doing that. I'm not that desparate to stay here.
And now I'm sharing a room with my brother because that's just how spiteful and petty this bitch is. From day one, she's been an obnoxious, fake, petty and judgmental bitch. She wants me out but can't say it because she don't wanna look like the bad guy so she does irritating shit to push me. I don't wan't to be here just as much as she don't want me here. Once my college decides it wants to approve my graduation and give me my fucking degree that I'm sick of waiting for, I'm out as promised. College is the only thing that's kept me here.
Aside from that, I'm coping with the fact I'm going to have to move back with my mother. And she lives in one of the most boring as states in this country; Virginia. I don't want to but that's where shit is going. I'm already a failure at life. Moving back would just add more salt to the wound. I failed at being an adult. I've never been on my own. I don't even know why I'm still here anymore.
If I could just sleep I'd feel a little better but that's damn near impossible. Ever since 2017, my life has been going down a deep and depressing spiral. I don't know how much longer I can last pretending everything is all right. It's but so much a person can take before they decide they don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be in that state of mind but...it's just where I'm at.
There's no such thing as a silver lining. No light at the end of the tunnel. I got a black cloud over me and im close to drowning from the rain. I need a break from everything. I need a break from life. I need a fucking peace of mind because if I don't get better soon I'm going to have a mental breakdown and probably try something I'm going to regret.
I just wanna sleep and wake up when the light starts shining again. I've been in the darkness for too long. Just let me sleep...
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just wanna be held by a woman. I wanna lay my head on her thighs and just...lay there while we talk, watch something or listen to sone music. We don't gotta talk about nothing important. "How was your day?", "How are you feeling?", "What's on your mind?". Shit, it could even be something stupid like, "Which is better? Bacon, egg and cheese or Bagel with cream cheese?". Like, I want that person I could just be intimate with. No sex. No friends with benefits shit. Just two people that are close like melted marshmellows.
I've had something like this twice in my life but could never maintain those relationships because one was too close to family and and I never stayed in contact with the other because I felt guilty for her being fired even though it wasn't my fault (at least entirely anyway). I'm starting to think this kind of intimacy just isn't meant for me. Or maybe I'm not mature enough to handle it. I want it though. Desparately. Somebody to hold. And somebody to hold me.
1 note
·
View note
Text
As you get older, you become cynical. Reality hits you like a 1,000 ton anchor falling 30,000 feet from an airplane Wile E. Coyote style. You stop believing in things you used. The passion you once had for the things you loved and enjoyed fizzles out and dies. The world changes from being this vibrant and colorful place to a black and white pit of despair and worthlessness. Nothing makes you smile anymore. The sun doesn't look the same. You're trapped in a never-ending cycle of disappointment and failure. You're more depressed than you've ever been. Everything irritates you. You look to your side and it no longer bothers you that no one is there, or maybe you just don't care about the person who is there. There is no such thing as peace and quiet. It's just nothingness. Happiness is nothing but a myth; a lie sold to people to distract and prevent them from realizing and accepting that this life is as good as its going to get. You see nothing when you look in the mirror or you hate the reflection staring back at you. You hate yourself. You heart turns black and your thoughts stop running you crazy. You don't know what to do anymore. So, you give up and just be. You just live until the day comes when you're time is up. And then you look back, unsurprised at how meaningless and empty your life was, and the last thing you'll ever say will be, "Oh well. Whatever". That's life...
3 notes
·
View notes