yutahoes

[yutahoes]

hELLO CAN I ASK FOR AN CEO YUTA AND AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP WITH COLLEGE STUDENT Y/N AND Y/N'S SCHOOL CHOSE YUTA'S COMPANY FOR HER TO WORK AT FOR HER WORK IMMERSION / OJT AJSHAJAHHAAHAHAH

Fic is posted here. I'm sorry if this was SUPER LATE. I hope you'll like it, anon.

#request #dear anon

[yutahoes]

CEO's Favorite Intern

main characters: CEO! boyfriend! ex-sugar daddy! Yuta Nakamoto, intern! university student! girlfriend! ex-sugar baby! Y/N  (feat Accounting Department manager! supervisor! Mark Lee) word count: 4.4k words  genre: fluff, suggestive summary: Working in the same company as your boyfriend is hard enough. Being an intern in your CEO boyfriend's company is difficult. warnings: sugar baby-sugar daddy themes, suggestive, age difference, jealousy, a whiny baby Y/N, lots of kissing, failed ending (I tried) based on an ask and a part two of this fic. Writing has been really rusty lately but I hope you'll like this simple fic. And please leave feedback if you can.

You desperately searched for your name in the list of the students and their assigned company, praying that you would be put in a known company. You weren’t the best student in class. You were even convinced your teachers don't even know who you are so being in decent company would be a blessing enough. You saw your name followed by four other names but the company's name made you wide-eyed. 

Nakamoto Corporation. 

Your boyfriend’s company. 

Of all the companies there are, why there? Maybe your boyfriend has something to do about it. 

You raised an eyebrow at him while eating your steak. He kept on saying that he doesn’t know that they’ll put your name on the trainees assigned in their company but you’re not buying it. You know how sneaky Yuta is. He just chuckled at you, “Don’t worry, baby. I won’t give you any special treatment even if you are my most favorite intern.” 

But that is not what you were scared about. You were scared to fail. And it will all be embarrassing because you might fail in front of your highly esteemed boyfriend. 

Even if you go to the same company, you make sure to wake up earlier than your boyfriend and prepare for the internship. You cannot be late and you have to look at least presentable for your first day. “Are you going to wear that at work?” You glanced at the black pencil skirt and dark blue button blouse that you were wearing, nodding. “I’m so glad you’re going to my company.” He started getting his bath towel, “Wait for me. I’ll drive you to the company.”

“You can’t.” You immediately retorted while putting on the cross earrings he gave you as a gift. He stopped in his tracks, staring at you in confusion. “It will be weird to see the CEO and the intern coming to work together.” You explained and he blew on his bangs as if frustrated. “I’ll go first.” He was about to say something when you made your exit to the door. 

The commute was hard. Why is his apartment so far from his office when he goes there every day? The bus was crowded and you hated how your feet were hurting because of standing up. You even had to push outside the bus to get out of your stop. And even if you luckily survived the bus ride, you still have to walk so far to enter the company building. 

Even if you have been dating Yuta for a while now, it is your first time coming to his company building. You knew he had a decent business, that the corporation he had started years ago is booming in the industry but this is just too much. Now, you just felt an unbearable amount of pressure to do well in this internship. 

“Hi,” a guy greeted, smiling widely at you. “I’m Mark Lee, are you Ms. Y/N?” he asked and you nodded, confused as to why he was asking that. “I’m from the Accounting Department,” he started before offering you his calling card. So he works here? “I’m tasked to show you around.” You nodded. Maybe you’ll be working under his supervision. But he looks so young, probably the same age as you or older but not too much. He told you that your other schoolmates were assigned to different departments while you were assigned to Accounting. 

He showed you around, making sure that you would have an idea where certain offices are since they’ll probably ask you to move around. When you reached the department, you understood why. Seated opposite your desk is a woman in - probably - her late forties, then another woman looking stern with a drawn fine line of an eyebrow. Another man who was wearing thick glasses and had white hair can be seen inside the room. And there’s Mark Lee who looked like an outcast in the group of four people in the department. 

Not only do you feel that you’re an intern with how they order you around but you also feel the generation gap whenever they ask you how to print or edit the files or even input a certain figure using the computer. It hasn’t even been the whole day yet you’re already so frustrated and tired. How can Mark keep up with this every day? 

If there is one department that needs interns, that would be Accounting. Mark needed someone he could ask for help with. 

And you made sure that you’ll be of great help to Mark. 

You were so busy helping around that you forgot one tiny detail, the CEO of the company. The four people were standing up, greeting him politely when Yuta entered the Accounting Department. There’s an obvious tension in the air like they’re terrified of him. Is your boyfriend bullying his employees? And they’re even older than him. Is that even an appropriate work environment? “I’m just here to check on the financial report.” You watched as the youngest of the group handed him a folder with shaking hands, “Is this double-checked? I don’t want to see the same mistakes as the other reports.” You purse your lips at that. You did see a lot of mistakes when you rechecked the file but it was almost all small typographical errors or plain mistakes in the input of the formula.

Mark nodded. “Miss Y/N helped a lot in double-checking the file.” Yuta glanced at you before nodding. What was that? When he left the room, the four had a collective sigh that amused you. Are they that scared of Yuta? 

You’re not that good in Math, it’s still a mystery why you were put in the accounting department. But seeing how the employees of the department interact with the CEO, you realize you might have been in the right department. 

“Are you hiring new employees?” You asked Yuta while eating dinner. Since you both just returned from work, you settled on Chinese take-out. “I think the accounting department needs more people,” You licked the sauce of the noodles from your finger before continuing, “Younger people.” 

Yuta handed you tissues but before you could wipe the remaining sauce on your fingers, he took your hand and licked the sauce for you. “You’re actually in the wrong department. My instruction is that they should put a guy in accounting.” You glared. So he’s aware that accounting has one of the toughest jobs in his company? “Do you want to transfer to my floor? My secretary can train you.” 

You shook your head, “I thought you wouldn’t give me special treatment.” The guy only gave a hearty laugh. “I’m fine in the accounting department, Mark needs more help than he can get.” 

You thought the CEO was getting back at you with your decision. He kept on returning the files your department sent to his office and kept on checking even small mistakes. You even thought that it was his way to see you in his office but once you handed the folder to his secretary, you would just wait for the returned file in his office lobby. 

It was Mark who assured you that he's usually like this. Accounting is one of the most important departments in the company. They are in charge of finances coming in and out of the company. Indeed a small mistake can change everything. But if Yuta is aware of that fact, why put only four people in the department? It can use a lot of people, younger people. 

If there is something that you’re getting from this experience, that is an immense respect and admiration for Mark Lee. He’s always smiling, and always patient with his older co-workers. He never gets mad and is always speaking cheerfully. Maybe he’s an angel sent to Earth. And he deserves a raise for all his hard work. 

“You know ever since you started your internship, all you ever talk about is Mark Lee” Yuta noted one Saturday morning. You were having breakfast in a posh and private waffle shop near your place. 

Your fork stopped midair and you purse your lips at his words, making sense of it. You were always with Mark. You work together. Of course, you’ll talk about him. “He’s such a hard worker. I think your company will crumble without him.”  

“Then, should I promote him?” He definitely deserved that. And Mark will surely be super happy if that happens. But if he gets promoted, he’ll leave the accounting department. “Or should I just wait for you?” Yuta took a bite of his waffle chicly. 

“Wait for me?” 

“When you start your position in the company.” 

You blinked twice before cocking your head to the side in confusion, “What position?” 

“I’m still thinking about it but maybe a COO.” Your eyes widened in surprise. That is a huge position. You know how employers tend to employ interns especially if they did a good job. But a COO? That’s a high-ranking position, next to his. “Why do you look surprised?” Because that is a huge title for an intern. “Half the company will be yours if we get married, Y/N.”

You stood up in surprise. You didn't know if that was because of the huge fortune coming your way or the fact that Yuta had planned on marrying you. This relationship just started as a sugar daddy-sugar baby one. He needed a companion, you needed money. True, it drastically evolved after some time. But talking about the future, getting married to him is something that you felt farfetched. Yet, here is this topic.

Yuta smirked against his coffee cup. “Sit down, baby.” He ordered in a commanding tone as you shakily obeyed him. “You shouldn't be surprised. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I already had marriage in mind.” He put down his coffee cup before cutting your waffles into tiny pieces, urging you to eat. “That’s why you need to do your best in this internship, graduate, and wear your graduation gown.” He stared at you, dark orbs pulling you in which made you gulp the lump in your throat. “Then prepare your wedding gown.”   

It must be the talk with Yuta that you dreaded going to work. How can you work as an intern for a company you’ll soon be managing? Is this Yuta’s plan all along? Did he purposely ask for you to be assigned as an intern at his company? 

Your schoolmates, who were interns of the same company, were all spouting compliments on their experience as interns of the Nakamoto Corporation. If the CEO decides to absorb them into the company, you will be managing them in the future. 

This may not be for you. 

Can you resign as an intern? Is that even possible? 

If you cannot do that, maybe you can just quit as Yuta’s girlfriend. 

That would be easier. 

You didn't have any motivation to go to work but Mark already looked worried the moment you stepped foot inside the office room. "Y/N, you have to help me," he said, a strain in his voice evident. 

Wait, what happened? Is he about to cry? 

You have never rushed work before, maybe running to get to class on time is the only time you decided to move faster. You were almost surprised when you finished the report Mark had asked you to do. You didn't know you could type so fast. The senior colleague’s file of the monthly report was corrupted from her flash drive and they could not open it. Luckily, Mark saved the copy from last month and retyping is easy. The department also had to present to the CEO in half an hour which added to Mark’s panic. 

Mark was fidgeting outside the conference room. “I’m not a great presenter,” he said more to himself, “But I have to do this for the sake of my co-workers in the department.” You nodded. It hasn’t been a month but you already saw how frustrating it is for Mark. How did he endure this workload for this long? Mark is such an angel.

You tapped his shoulder, smiling warmly at him. “You’re doing great, Mark.” 

He returned the smile, “Thank you, Y/N.”

A cough can be heard followed by the secretary of the CEO excusing himself to enter the board room. A side glance was all the CEO could give you both. The side of his lips frowning. “The CEO is in a bad mood,” Mark noticed, which made you nod. “Let’s hurry inside.” 

It was your first time watching your boyfriend at his work. True, you have watched him in video meetings looking all serious. But seeing him in this board room, managing his employees who are significantly older than him stirred something inside you. How come everything Yuta does is such a turn-on? Your gaze would fall on the leather watch on his wrist to the evident veins on the back of his hand, wanting him to touch you in that part that’s getting wetter by the second. Your eyes trailed north to his dark necktie, wanting that material wrapped around your wrist as he gave you immense pleasure. Watching the tip of his pen tapping his lower lip, made your mind drift off to what those lips can do. Fuck, you badly want him and you’re still clocked in for two hours here in the office. When your eyes met his, he raised an eyebrow before looking away.  

He probably knows the effect he has on you. 

When your department was called, your attention focused on your colleague. You smiled at Mark, tapping his shoulder to encourage him as you sat down in front of the laptop, volunteering to help him with the technical stuff. Your teamwork is rather dynamic and the presentation of the monthly investment goes on smoothly. You would give small smiles his way, proud that he did amazing despite his low confidence in his speaking skills. He’s just amazing in this job. 

“Since the investment remains stagnant, what do you think should we do Mr. Lee?” The CEO asked, startling you. His tone was different from the other presenters. Mark looked like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes wandering around as if asking for help. 

You raised your hand and muttered, “Sir,” You called which made the CEO look at you. “Isn't that question supposed to be directed to the marketing department?” 

“I’m not asking your opinion, intern.” Even the room got silent at his cold tone. Why is he suddenly like this? “Mr. Lee?” 

You didn’t even hear what Mark said in the shock of what happened. Is Yuta usually like this to interns? Maybe your boyfriend is such a huge bully. 

When the other department was called and the interns did share their opinion, he gave a warm reaction to them. Even if the employees were doing a terrible job in presenting or the interns kept on making mistakes, he never made the same reaction as when he shouted at you. Is he mad at you? Does he hate you? 

Instead of going home early, you found yourself drinking with your colleagues from the accounting department because of your bad mood. The senior workers kept on telling you that it was normal, Yuta is always like that. But no, you cannot. Not when you feel that it’s unfair. How can he treat his employees like that? How can he shout at you, an intern, in front of the other employees? And why only you? 

“The CEO is probably extra grumpy because he didn’t get laid.” One of your co-workers claimed that you dropped the glass you were holding. Mark was already at your aid, wiping the table and handing you tissues to wipe yourself. “Rumors are saying that he has a younger girlfriend.” 

You felt your heart stammer in your chest. There are rumors about that? Do they know that the girlfriend is you? Or is there another girlfriend that you aren’t aware of? Is he cheating on you? 

Maybe that’s why he’s cold to you in the office. Maybe, he wanted to push you away. 

Well, who would ever want an intern as a girlfriend anyway? 

All these thoughts running in your mind, and the fact that you had some drinks, made you unaware of the bicycle on the sidewalk. If not for Mark pulling you back, you wouldn’t even realize that you almost got hit by a vehicle. “Are you still thinking about what the CEO said?” You shook your head. Surprisingly, it isn’t about that anymore. It’s worse than that. “Don’t take it to heart, Y/N. I think the CEO likes you.” 

You gave him a timid smile, stopping to walk in front of your apartment building. Now, you just wanted to lie down and rest. “That’s nonsense.” You tried to shrug, “Have you heard how he shouted at me?” 

“He’s strict with you because he saw your potential,” Mark claimed but you shook your head. “And you have become his favorite intern.” 

You chuckled lightly. That’s impossible. You must be so drunk that you have been hearing things from Mark. “Thank you, Mark. This is my stop.” He glanced at the tall building before nodding, “Take care on your way home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You didn’t hear any word coming from him and just went inside the building. 

The lights were off when you came inside the apartment so you clicked on the light switch to illuminate the light on your way to your room. You almost jumped in surprise seeing Yuta seated on the couch, turned to where you are. “It’s late,” he said in a low voice. “Did you drink?” He stood up, walking to where you are. “On a work night?” 

“I’m not drunk,” you tried to counter but your words are slurring, “I spilled beer on myself.” You stopped when he held your forearm to help you balance but you slapped his shoulders which made him groan. “I shouldn’t be talking to you.” 

Yuta chuckled, pulling you closer to him. “Are you mad because of what happened earlier?” You rolled your eyes and he held your waist. “You told me not to give you any special treatment.” 

“But that was too much!” You shouted. “Are you like that to everyone or just to me? Do you hate me?” 

If not for Yuta wiping the tears from your face, you wouldn’t know that you’re crying. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He said in a soft voice and if possible, pulled you closer. “I don’t hate you, I would never hate you.” Then why was he mad at you earlier? “And to be honest, I hate myself more.” You stared at him in surprise. Why would he? “I let my jealousy take over my emotions.”

“Jealousy?” 

He gave you a small smile before kissing your forehead. “You and Mark, smiling and touching each other.” Your eyes widened at that. What? Mark Lee? But you work with each other and it’s just shoulder pats. Yuta kissed your nose, “I hate that you’re so pretty and those guys at work kept looking at you.” Then he kissed you on the lips, a quick smack but still surprised you nonetheless. “I hate that those pretty words coming out of your lips turn me on so much.” Wait, what? 

“You have no idea that when you said sir earlier, I wanted to bend you in the conference room and make you shout that same word repeatedly.” 

You sobbed, bawling your eyes out. It was now his turn to get startled. “I thought you were pushing me away.” You cried, “I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” 

But he just pulled you closer, hugging you tight. “I’m sorry, baby" he kept on whispering. “That's the contrary actually.” He tried to calm you down by pressing butterfly kisses along your neck, fingers trailing on the skin under your shirt. "I want you so much, it's crazy." He kept on kissing your exposed skin, opening the buttons of your blouse. “You reek of beer, let’s get you cleaned up hmm?” 

Maybe it was the intoxicated state you’re in but you let Yuta pamper you that night. He was so careful while giving you a bath, rubbing your skin while whispering how your idea earlier was right and that your department did a great job. He listened intently to how you tell him how stressed you are with your job. 

In contrast to his gentleness while taking care of you was his roughness in bed. You kept on moaning the word ‘sir’ and he would thrust in you in the roughest way possible. “I love you,” he whispered against your ear, lying beside you. “I’m sorry.” 

A chuckle escaped your lips, eyes closing as the tiredness loomed on you. “Since you got laid tonight, maybe you won't be that grumpy tomorrow.” You only heard Yuta laugh in response. 

—--

You were so sore the next morning that you begged Yuta if you could take the day off. But since you’re an intern, without any special treatment, he didn’t let you. He helped you, though, by volunteering to drive you to the company. You were anxious the whole time you were inside the car. What if someone sees you with him? A CEO and an intern together is a bad image for a company. But you found out that Yuta has a special parking area, hidden from other employees. 

Yuta only gave you a couple of minutes to walk ahead of him so no one could see the two of you together but he caught on to you while walking to the elevator. The employees greeted him and he gave a wide smile, greeting them as well. When you reached the office of the accounting department, the senior workers were all whispering about how the CEO was in a very good mood today. “He probably got laid last night,” the senior colleague claimed and you lightly smiled. That was so absurd but it wasn’t wrong. 

The day isn’t that busy but you noticed how Mark kept on moving from one place to another. He kept you inside the office, retyping documents, while he ran the errands to the other departments. When you took a break on the office terrace, you found out why. “Rough night?” He asked while handing you a cup of coffee. “You were limping on the way in. You’re lucky they didn’t notice you.” 

It was embarrassing. Is Mark really that observant? He turned around, back leaning on the ledge, as you sipped on the coffee he gave. “So how rough did your boyfriend take you last night?”  

Isn’t that too much to ask? “You don’t know if I have a boyfriend.” He raised an eyebrow, looking as if you got caught. 

Mark laughed before raising his head to point at someone by the window and you were surprised to see the CEO looking at you, arms crossed. “He looks like he’ll kill me. You might not have done so well last night.” he joked with a light chuckle. 

You glared at him, “How did you know?” 

“I wasn’t that sure at the start but after the CEO had been too strict on the department, I kind of put two and two together.” He claimed then smiled, “And you live with him, don’t you? You cannot afford that luxury apartment, Y/N.” Is Mark that smart? How did he find out about that? “Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul that we have an office romance. But I have to tell you something…” 

Your phone rang, and Yuta’s name was seen on the screen. Mark gave you a nod to answer the call, “Tell Mark Lee that Lee Haechan from marketing is looking for him.” Yuta said that confused you. Why didn’t he just call Mark? When you relayed the message to the guy beside you, he was smiling from ear to ear while telling you that he’ll see you later. You asked who Lee Haechan was and Yuta quickly answered, “His boyfriend.” 

Your eyes widened in surprise while looking at Mark. Boyfriend? You didn’t know Mark had a boyfriend. And a co-worker? Is that what he was supposed to tell you? “Wait, how did you find out?” 

“Company rumors.” Your boyfriend listens to rumors in the company? “And I know how ecstatic Mark is whenever he gets assigned to the Marketing Department.” Now that he mentions it, he does look more excited about working with that department. An office couple. How exciting. 

“But wait,” You claimed, turning your back to the ledge that you’re face to face with the CEO. “Are you that jealous of Mark that you always watch him? How do you know that he gets ecstatic working with marketing?” 

You can see the smile forming on your boyfriend’s lips, “I know Mark before you do, baby.” A light chuckle can be heard. “Besides, before you came, he was my favorite intern.” So Yuta does have a favorite intern. And maybe that’s why Mark confidently said those words to you last night. Does this mean you’ll have the same route as Mark? 

“I thought I wouldn’t get any special treatment?” 

“You won’t. You still have to work hard and complain about how shitty your boss is.” You rolled your eyes but you knew there was a grin on his face. “But you automatically qualify as the COO so whatever you want to do with the company in the future is all in your hands.” That was such a position from being just an intern. Why does he keep on pushing you in that position? “Or the wife of the CEO. I won’t complain.” 

You chuckled. There’s no doubt he’s a man with authority. “The wife of the CEO sounds much better. A total jump from being an intern.” 

You saw him smile from the window. “Ask for the monthly report and bring it to my office,” he ordered, then winked your way. “Let me hear the complaints of my favorite intern.” 

You smiled then put down the phone before walking your way back to the accounting office. 

Being the CEO’s favorite intern isn’t so bad at all. 

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #nct 127 yuta #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #ceo yuta #sugar daddy yuta #boyfriend yuta #nakamoto yuta fluff #yuta suggestive #yuta nakamoto suggestive #nakamoto yuta suggestive

[yutahoes]

i hope you’ll enjoy the concert po, ms nina!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

thank you, love. 🥰 i'll enjoy for you. 🤗

#dear anon

[yutahoes]

Hellooo, it's been a while but I saw your recent post & got excited ngl😅 hope you're doing well! I miss your writing & esp when we interacted, I hope you haven't let it go bcuz really you're a great writer! And have fun seeing Yuta irl, so luckyyyy✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Hi Amina. I miss you too. 🥰 I hope I can go back to writing but it's been very busy with work and personal life. 😭 And I'm super excited for the concert. It's my first NCT 127 concert. 🫣 I'll surely cheer for you later.

#personal #dear moot #lovely moot

[yutahoes]

Hi.

For filo mutuals (or international fans going to the PH), is there anyone here going to the Unity in Bulacan? Please, let's meet. 🥹

Hopefully, my first concert with NCT 127 will encourage me to write some fics again. 🙏 Still can't believe that I will get to see Yuta live.

#random thoughts #personal

[yutahoes]

hi nina! i hope you’re well 😊

just wanted to ask if you have plans on continuing the idol dad series? i hope the question doesn’t come off as rude, but it’s my favorite of yours and it’s how i discovered your blog hehe

it’s missing shiho and shin, and soft dad yuta hours HAHAHA

Hi anon. 😊

I hope I granted your request. I still have maybe two to three fics in mind with the idol! dad! concept but I just can't write it since there's something missing in the plot in my mind. 😭 I'm also sorry that it's not soft dad yuta hours. 😅 But I can assure you that there will be more.

Thank you for this message anon. ♥️

#dear anon #dad yuta #dad yuta is everything #my fellow dad yuta enthusiast

[yutahoes]

Cry

This plot is in my mind ever since these pictures were posted. Can you tell that this picture is holding me in chokehold?

characters: idol! dad! Yuta Nakamoto x mom! Y/N summary: You might have missed your husband too much. word count: 2.3k words genre: fluff, smut warning: lots of kissing, Y/N is down bad for Yuta (I mean who wouldn't? 🙄), sexual intercourse (but not that detailed), cursing, lots of crying, cheesy words

a/n: Part of the idol! dad! Yuta collection with daughter! Shiho and son! Shinichi. Please welcome the new addition to this fictional family son! Shion. 🤣Inspired by that one facebook reel. You'll know when you read it.

You tapped the moisturizer on your face, the smell of vanilla filling the small room you're in. It's nice to have some quiet time for yourself, especially after a hectic day—a peaceful night. You hummed to yourself as you finished your nighttime routine—a small me time for yourself. 

Although it's already late at night, your newborn son has just gotten to sleep which got you this free time. You don't know how long you have to yourself but might as well enjoy the self-time while it lasts. 

You're not complaining. You love being a mom. But it is just a taxing job. You have to wake up early to prepare Shiho and Shin for their school. And that is if you get enough sleep. Ever since you gave birth to Shion, your third child, you haven't had that much sleeping time. It also doesn't help that your husband is very busy with his job.

Again, you are not complaining. You just wished you had some more time for yourself. 

You were thankful, however, for today. Since it's a Friday night, you decided to bring the kids to a cafe nearby for dinner. They played a lot and even the youngest who only watched on the sidelines, was knocked out when you got home. A little time for yourself. You bathed and lathered yourself with your husband's body wash, put shampoo in your hair, and even wore a nightie. 

Even if Shion wakes up in the middle of the night, you already did a lot for yourself—a little peace.

A peace disturbed by an engine revving. It's late. Are the neighbors up? Is someone visiting you? This late at night? Or, is it…? 

You put on a robe to cover the purple thin sheet covering your body then head down, surprised to hear the keys jiggling and the door closed shut. The first instinct is to scream but you immediately smell his perfume which only makes you stop by the bottom of the stairs. This is new. Your husband is home. 

You knew he was busy in Tokyo due to schedules so you wondered what he was doing here tonight. Why didn't he inform you of coming home? 

"You're home?" You asked in surprise. He did mention that he'll try coming home this Sunday after his schedules clear up. It's still Friday night so why is your husband here already? "I thought you won't be…" 

"I took the latest flight home," he claimed, grinning, as he put down his suitcase. He walked to where you are, "Are the kids asleep?" You nodded before he wrapped you in his arms. "Why are you still up? It's late." 

A chuckle escaped your lips, hugging him back. "I'm just preparing for bed."

"You smell so good," Yuta complimented, then kissed the side of your neck. "Is that my body wash?" You nodded. His breathing was warm against your neck, "I love that you smell like me." Contrast is his cold lips pressing butterfly kisses along your skin. "I miss you." 

"I miss you, too." His lips went to yours, hands grasping your waist as he pulled you closer. Your hands wrapped around his neck, kissing him deeply. You miss when you and Yuta are being intimate like this. With the kids around and his job, there's not much time for the two of you alone. Maybe that was one of the things you missed the most in your life. An alone time with your husband. 

"I miss you." He repeated then kissed you again but this time, pulling you closer. He sucked your bottom lip before slipping his tongue between your lips, tasting you. "I don't think I can bear another month without you." 

You giggled at his words.  

The passion in his kiss drowned you, knocking the sense out of you that you were surprised when Yuta expertly removed your robe, revealing the purple satin nightie underneath. "My God, are you really a mother of three?" You giggled at what your husband exclaimed. "You're still as smoking hot as the first time I met you, Y/N." He gave you a quick peck on the lips. "I must be the luckiest man alive." 

That was an exaggeration. Why is your husband like this? You felt his arm when he removed the black leather jacket he wore. The white muscle tee clinging to his body, especially his forearm. "You're bulking up," You complimented, "Are you working out?" 

Yuta nodded with a smile. "I lift weights when I have free time," he stated before wrapping his arms around your waist once again, pulling you closer. "Do you like it?" You bit your lip, nodding. You've always liked Yuta's body frame but seeing him a little bulked up made him more attractive in your eyes. 

"I must be the luckiest woman alive." 

A yelp escaped your lips when he held the back of your thighs, carrying you on his shoulder and heading up the stairs. You kept on laughing at the situation. This was just like your honeymoon night except Yuta didn't look like he was struggling when he carried you. Yuta put you down when you reached the bedroom, closing the door with his feet and locking the door before removing his white tee. He really is working out. His body changed a lot, bulkier even. 

"Are we safe today?" You smiled and then nodded. After three kids, you already knew when to have a night together without the risk of getting pregnant again. Although you love kids, you both agreed to stop on the third child and just focus on giving them all your attention and love. Yuta was against you using female contraceptives, especially after knowing the risks to your body which made you grateful. "Should I use condoms tonight?" 

You shook your head, slipping the strap of the nightie down. "No condoms. Safe day." 

He cursed lightly before holding your cheeks and kissing you on the lips. "I can't believe you're my wife," he mumbled in between kisses. "It still amazes me that you're mine." You giggled. Slowly, he pushed you to bed. "I don't know how I deserved someone like you." 

It amazes you how Yuta can easily say those words. You've been married for so long yet he's always saying those words as if it's the first time. And what's amazing is the fact that even if he kept saying those words, it still stirs deep emotions inside you. "I love you," you mumbled and he smiled, repeating the same exact three words. 

You thought making love with Yuta would be different once you get older: the passion, the technique. But your husband never even changed how he made you feel. He kissed the right spots and touched the parts of your body that gave you immense pleasure. 

His thrusts never faltered as your lips kept on spouting cries of pleasure. Silent screams of his name and the heavenly beings repeatedly called at how amazing Yuta feels inside you. "Fuck, I miss this." And you do too. "Feels so good." 

The wave of orgasm can be felt as you pull Yuta closer, moaning against his ear. It was an amazing feeling. A feeling you badly missed. 

Yuta rolled beside you in bed, catching his breath. Sweat beads formed on his bare chest as he held you close. “Are you alright?” You nodded, grinning at him. “Do you want anything?” He stood up, getting clean sweatpants from his drawer. You remained lying in bed, marveling at how his body looked like it was sculpted. You never thought you'd actually like him bulked up. “A glass of water?” You nodded as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “I’ll be back real quick.”  

You stretched your arms then headed to the bathroom to clean yourself up. When you returned to your bedroom, Yuta was still not back so you just put on your discarded robe and scrolled on your phone. When Yuta did return, he handed you the glass of water with a smug smile on his face. “I think you should go check on Shiho.” 

“Why?” You asked after drinking the water. He took the cup before pursing his lips. Is he laughing? Amused? “What happened?” 

“Just go check on her.” 

You tied the string of your robe tighter before exiting the door of your bedroom and into your only daughter’s room. She was seated on her bed, tears streaming from her eyes as she wept silently. “Shiho, what happened?” You inquired, panic washed over you. Did she have a nightmare? Your eldest doesn't normally cry. She's way past the age where she usually cries a lot that it worries you. What happened to her? “Are you hurt?” 

She cried louder, hugging you. “I heard you crying,” Wait, what? “I went to your room and tried to open it but the door was locked. I was so scared.” She heard you crying? When you glanced at Yuta who was leaning by the door frame, you realized what it was. “I was really worried, mommy.” 

“I’m sorry.” You immediately said, not knowing what to say after. Your face was heating up at the thought that your innocent daughter just heard you making love with your husband. This is so embarrassing. And why is your husband, the reason of all of these, laughing to himself? “I’m sorry for scaring and worrying you but I’m fine now.” 

“Did you have a bad dream?” You just nodded. She’s still too young to know why you were crying earlier. You don't want her to know. “Did daddy calm you down?” She asked between labored breaths. Once again, you nodded before glancing at Yuta who had a wide grin to himself. “I’m glad daddy is home.” You nodded, rubbing her back to hush her from crying. “Mommy, if you ever have bad dreams and daddy is not here, you can sleep with me in my bed. You always do it for me and Shin, we can help you calm down.” A smile escaped your lips, nodding at her. 

“I’m sorry for waking you up and scaring you.” You tucked her into bed, pulling the blankets up to keep her warm. “And if mommy has bad dreams, I'll go straight to you." Shiho grinned. You resist the urge to pinch her chubby cheeks. "Take a rest, love.” You kissed her forehead, Yuta doing the same thing to her while muttering ‘goodnight’ and ‘I missed you’.

Once the door to Shiho’s room closed, Yuta could not hide the laughter escaping his lips. You whined, leaning your head on his chest. “That was super embarrassing.” You lightly hit his chest to stop him from laughing. 

He chuckled, wrapping you in his arms and then kissing the top of your head. “Maybe next time, we should just go to a hotel or leave the kids to our parents’.” He teased which made you glare. Yuta leaned in to kiss your lips, tongue slipping inside your mouth as his hand squeezed your butt. 

You lightly pushed him, raising an eyebrow. “I thought we’d just do it in a hotel?” 

Your husband grinned, “Heading to the hotel cannot wait.” He kissed you once again. “You can just be quiet though.” 

Before he could pull you close for another kiss, a cry from inside the nursery can be heard. You groaned which made Yuta chuckle. “I’ll take care of Shion. Get some rest.” The crying became louder and you just nodded at him. Before he could step to Shion’s room though, he held your hand and gave you one last kiss. “I love you, Y/N.” A soft smile escaped your lips, “I’m glad you’re my wife and the mother of my children.” 

You rolled your eyes at that, “As if you have a choice.” 

“I do,” he said with a mischievous smile that startled you. “But I’ll always choose you over and over again.” He held your waist once again even if your youngest son's cries can be heard in the house. “Thank you for taking care of our family.” But it wasn’t a one-woman job. Although you do everything in the house, Yuta is still providing for you. It’s still a collaborative effort. “Tomorrow, I’ll leave the kids at Taeyong's.” Wait, why? He just came back, doesn’t he want to spend time with the kids? "Then I’ll take care of you, my baby.” He claimed in a low voice, winking.  

You giggled. He doesn’t need to do that. But you’re thankful. “Thank you, Yuta.” 

“No, thank you Y/N.” He kissed your forehead before kissing your lips. “Get some rest, love.” He rubbed your cheek with his thumb. “I’ll just put Shion back to sleep and check on Shin.” 

You nodded, “I’ll wait for you in bed." 

Yuta chuckled before nodding, whispering that he loves you and that he'll just be quick. You smiled while watching him quietly head to the nursery next room, his soft voice hushing your youngest son to sleep making you giddy. 

Your husband was right, you both had a choice. But you know, you’ll end up choosing him over and over again. No one could fill that spot as your husband and father of your children. You are indeed the luckiest woman alive being married to the one and only Yuta Nakamoto.   

Now, you’re just excited about what tomorrow might bring to you. And honestly, all the coming days with your small family. 

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #nakamoto yuta fluff #yuta smut #yuta nakamoto smut #nakamoto yuta smut #dad yuta #dad nakamoto yuta #dad yuta nakamoto

[yutahoes]

Mommy

based on an overdue ask.

characters: sub! Yuta Nakamoto x dom! company president! Y/N

summary: Woking from home has its perks.

word count: 2.2k words

genre: smut

warning: oral - female receiving, handjob, teasing, exhibitionism, sub-dom themes, whiny Yuta, petnames

Being a president is hard. 

All the decision-making for the sake of your company. All the work you have to put time and effort into. Being labeled as incompetent because of your gender, the prominent misogynistic officials waiting for a little slip in your authority. 

Being the president is indeed a stressful job.  

You blew heavy breaths as you listened to the presentation made by the Chinese company you were supposed to partner up with your company. If incompetence comes with gender, then why are these balding middle-aged men in dark tuxedos looking so unsure of the product they’re selling? You knew you were giving an annoyed look at how they stuttered when the product malfunctioned. Why are they wasting your time like this? 

They’re lucky that it was just an online meeting. If not, you might have been out of the door or threw something at them. Working from home on a weekend truly has its perks. 

The door of your home office opened after a light knock. In his black tank top and gray sweatpants, Yuta came inside with a plate of food. You lightly glanced at the clock on the bottom of your screen, surprised that it was already past lunchtime. 

This meeting is already getting really annoying.  

The guy put down a plate of mashed potatoes and a small steak, with mixed vegetables on the side. It’s mouth-watering but you cannot eat while you’re in the meeting. The men presenting showed another slide that made you roll your eyes. You didn’t need the demographic of their customers, your company had their own research. Yet you cannot cut their presentation. You’re just tired of talking. 

You started scribbling something on your tablet, reminders to note for your secretary. Your gaze fell on the guy standing in front of your table, looking at you with his large puppy eyes. Why is he still here? You’re obviously working, can’t he see that? 

Quickly, you pushed a button on your keyboard to stop your video and microphone before turning to him.  "What?" you asked in annoyance. The meeting is already stressing you out, you cannot handle any more stress or you'll just snap. 

Yuta sighed. "I'm hungry." 

A dead look was all you could give him. What the hell? "There's lots of food in the kitchen." You rubbed your temples, obviously pissed off at this point before he continued, "I want to eat you."  You stared in surprise, how bold. "You've been so stressed. I want to make you feel good.” His big, brown eyes pleading. 

You just stared at him, taken back at how brazen he was. But then, this was what you liked most about Yuta. And maybe this is just what you need to improve your mood. "Please, Mommy. I promise I'll be good." 

A smile played on your lips before nodding at him. He looked like an excited puppy as he walked in front of you, kneeling from under your desk. Yuta helped you slip out of your panties, lucky that you’re wearing a short skit. "Itadakimasu" he whispered, palms together before he leaned in to kiss the inside of your thigh. 

You made sure that your camera cannot capture him before clicking a button that would put you back to the meeting, apologizing about your little kitty cat who was desperate to play with you. You felt Yuta smile at the statement. Your fingers thread along his dark hair as his lips alternate from sucking and licking your inner thighs. 

The men on the screen kept on talking, stopping from time to time to maybe check your reaction and ask for your opinion. The man kneeling in front of you kept on pleasuring you with his lips and his tongue. Yuta’s hand grazed on your hip, north to your waist. But before it can reach your breasts, a normal thing he would do whenever he was down to eat you, you slapped his hand and gave him a stern look. The participants of the online meeting seemed to stop and you apologized once again, “My cat was being naughty. Sorry.”  

Your gaze fell on Yuta who was pouting, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He parted your legs before placing them on his shoulders to have full access to your nether region. You rolled your eyes, lightly smiling, at his actions. How adorable. 

You focused on the meeting as he placed his tongue on your clit, making you shudder. He was gentle, unlike last night when he was like a beast craving for you, maybe because you already warned him to behave at this moment. His tongue entered your core, lips sucking on your pussy lips. If there is one thing Yuta is really good at, that would be eating you. And letting him do that deed right now, really did lessen the annoyance you’re feeling. 

The Chinese men started pitching their last agenda for the meeting and you inwardly smile. The meeting is almost over. More time to play with your little kitten. Once they ended the meeting, you thanked them and referred them to talk to your secretary for a follow-up meeting who was in the same meeting as you. 

When you clicked the button that disabled your microphone and camera, you leaned on your chair while wrapping your legs on Yuta’s head. He alternated between lapping and sucking your pussy which earned a soft mewl coming from you. Your hands gripped his hair as you grind your hips on his face, eager to get to your orgasm. He didn’t disappoint as he crept his hand up your body to squeeze your breasts. “So good.” You mumbled eyes closed. His nose was hitting your clit, creating friction that made it more pleasurable. “That’s really good, baby.” 

You knew it was the word that would rile Yuta, a pet name you kept on calling him over and over again. He ravaged your pussy, like a man starved of food. He didn’t stop even if you squirted on his face and kept on slurping everything you release. 

Yuta was out of breath and lips so swollen that he looked like he’ll pass out. His chin and neck were so wet with your juice that the front of his tank top stuck to his skin. Sweat beads appeared on his forehead and an evident bulge was visible on his gray sweatpants. You leaned closer, holding his cheek. The low cut of your blouse showed your cleavage that made him visibly gulp. “Good job, baby.” Your thumb touched his bottom lip and he didn’t take a chance to suck it. “I think my baby deserves his reward.” You leaned on your chair, crossing your arms on your chest to enhance your breasts, and crossing your legs so that the heel of your stiletto touched his bulge. “Is there anything you want, baby boy?”  

He looked so fucked up. So messed up. “Mommy, please fuck me.” It was a lovely sight to see. You wanted to tie him in bed that instant and make him cum repeatedly until he begs you to stop. “I need you, please Mommy.” 

You shook your head, resting your head on your hand above the table. “I don’t think you deserve it yet.” His eyes widened in confusion before worry flashed in his eyes. He started begging, muttering how he was going to be a good boy that amused you. How adorable. 

“Stand up.” You commanded and he quickly sprang up on his feet. You twirled the string of his sweatpants using your finger before pulling him closer. “Then,” You started, staring at him with your erotic eyes. “I don’t want you to make a sound.” 

Yuta nodded almost immediately and you pulled down his sweatpants and boxers, revealing his hard cock. He really does need you, how cute. You ordered him to sit on your desk and like a puppy, he obeyed immediately. Your hands traveled to his thighs, moving your chair closer to him. “Please suck me.” 

You stood up, making him confused. “I told you not to make a sound,” you whispered against his ear, your fingernail grazing along his inner thigh. "Understood?" He hummed as an answer and you repeated the question in a louder voice, "Understood?"  He nodded, earning a smirk from you. The pad of your finger dragged along the side of his cock and you saw how he held himself from making a sound by biting his bottom lip. 

Your lips came in contact with the side of his neck, hands under his tank top heading north to his chest. The dark garment was easily discarded to the floor and Yuta is now stark naked on your desk. You bit your lip as you watched him whimper at your gaze, staring at you with his pleading eyes. “No sound, understood?” You repeated as he nodded frantically, eyes hooded with lust and want. A giggle escaped your lips at how helpless he looked. Like a lost kitten. Your own lost kitten. 

“Kitten,” you whispered before pressing butterfly kisses below his ear down to the side of his neck. “My naughty kitten.” You sink your teeth on his left shoulder then grasped his throbbing cock with your right hand. You can feel his body tense up, hands grasping the edge of your desk. It’s amazing how he kept on being quiet, avoiding creating a sound by biting his bottom lip. Your tongue went south from his shoulder to his chest, stopping to apply pressure on his nipple, while your hands pumped his cock. 

He feels so hot on your fingertips. His cock kept on throbbing as his body squirmed, small whimpers coming out from his mouth. You alternated sucking and nibbling his nipple before moving to the other one. Yuta’s cock is so red that you’re sure he might explode soon. Is he this needy? You haven’t even done anything weird, just a simple handjob. 

With a smirk, you held his cock tight with one hand before using the other hand to rub the tip. His head rolled back, hands supporting his body with his eyes closed. He looked so fucked up, it amuses you. But there’s something missing, something that you’re slowly yearning for at the moment. “You can make a sound now.” The sides of your lips curled up when he shouted, “Mommy.”  

“Are you enjoying, my little kitten?” You kept on jerking his twitching cock, the other hand massaging his balls. 

“Yes,” he moaned, “That feels so good, Mommy.” Your pumping moved from fast to slow, lips leaving small marks on his skin. His face was filled with unadulterated pleasure, moans kept on coming out of his lips. “Mommy, I’m close.” You pumped faster, eager to get him to his release. “Can I cum?” 

A proud feeling engulfed your chest, you trained him well. “Of course baby, you earned it.” He kept on thanking you as white spurts of cum filled your hand, some shooting on your blazer. “Thank you so much, Mommy.” 

“Did you have fun, baby?” He nodded, catching his breath. You smiled then kissed him lightly on the lips before looking at something beside him, “Did you enjoy it as well, Mark?” 

The look on Yuta’s face is comical as you watched him looking back at the screen of your computer. There, he was in a complete display of skin. His cock was in full view and twitching. Mark, your secretary, looking down as if he doesn’t know what to do. “Did you enjoy the show, Mark?” 

Yuta’s eyes widened in realization before facing you, hiding from the camera of your computer screen. “You’re cruel,” he whispered, leaning his head on your shoulder as if hiding from your secretary. A giggle was all you can answer. He’s enjoying it as well, evident was his now hardening cock. You didn’t know Yuta has an exhibitionism kink. “You’re evil.” 

“And you love me for it.” You kissed his cheek, laughing. “I’ll just finish this real quick. Wait for me inside the room, hmm?” He nodded, smiling before walking past your desk and out of the video frame.

You fixed your blazer and sat properly on your chair as if nothing happened. Yuta came back then leaned in to kiss you on the lips, “I love you, Y/N.” You grinned. How clingy. 

When Yuta left, you leaned on the chair before telling Mark some reminders about the meeting that happened earlier. His eyes seemed to be wandering around, unable to look at you. “Mark,” you called. “Look at me.” He cleared his throat before shyly looking at you, a red tinge on his cheeks. You knew that look. When you were just getting to know Yuta, he used to look at you like that. You cross your arms, making sure that your breasts are emphasized. Your secretary gulped before licking his lips, “If you make this business work, I might give you a reward Markie.” His eyes widened in surprise before the corner of your lips turned up at his answer,

“Yes, Mommy.”     

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta smut #yuta nakamoto smut #nakamoto yuta smut #sub yuta #sub yuta nakamoto #sub nakamoto yuta

[yutahoes]

A little author's note, if someone is interested.

I am terribly sorry for not posting much. 😭🙏 I don't know if I said it yet but I am now a Public School Teacher so I don't have that much time like before. I'm so bad in adapting to my new job that I'm becoming more anxious. But I'll be fine, I think. 🤗

Anyways, I only have three weeks of vacation before classes start once again. I haven't even been to a beach or travel much. But I've been enjoying some time for myself.

I went to the NCT Home exhibit in our country. I got a picture with Yuta using photoism but I'm so ugly and he looks unhappy. 😭 But I got one pic that I'm very proud of.

I also watched Kim Jaejoong's concert. To those who had been following this blog for a while you'll know that other than Yuta, Jaejoong is my first ultimate bias. And I cried so hard during the concert.

For fics, I'm currently working on some sub! Yuta and a husband! Yuta smuts. I also wanted to try writing an ABO fic but my writing vocabulary is so limited, it's frustrating. 🥺

I'm sorry but please be patient with my writing speed. 😭🙏 I'll try my best to give you quality fics soon. Thank you so much for still being here, reading and liking my works. I wouldn't be here without you. 🥰

Sharing some pics from Jaejoong's concert and my recent fave pic with Yuta. (A little slight face reveal. 😅 If ever you're in the Philippines and saw me, just approach me please. Sorry for the camera quality.)

#personal #author's note #slight face reveal

[yutahoes]

I just finished reading polarity and it was SO GOOODD OMG

I'm sorry if this was super late. 😭

Thank you for reading Polarity and liking it. ❤❤ Also, a huge thank you for actually making this anon message to tell me that. I appreciate it a lot. 🥰

#dear anon #feedback #polarity feedback

[yutahoes]

Favorite

Inspired by the music video and some lyrics of Favorite by NCT 127.

characters: former rebel! student! Yuta Nakamoto x vampire! student! Y/N

summary: He didn't care about anything until his eyes caught her. Who is she and why is her eyes changing color?

chapter word count: 6.3k words

chapter genre: angst, fluff, suggestive

chapter warning: language, blood, incorrect descriptions of vampires, kissing, character death, a lot of biting, sucking, and licking

Yuta Nakamoto. 

Just the name makes all the high school students quiver. The worst of all the worst in school. The strongest fighter which makes the other fighters from other schools quiver. Everyone feared him, even students and teachers from nearby schools wouldn't dare cross paths with him. 

He was a huge bully, always in fights and seated at the back of the class with bruises or wounds on his face. His teachers were even lucky if he went to their class. And they would just let him. 

Until the twins transferred into their class, the affluent Jung twins who always excel in everything they do. He didn't bother about them at first. And he's too lazy to get their attention. Besides, what good can their attention bring to him? 

But as days went by, he noticed how the male twin became the center of everyone’s attention. He excelled in sports, even defeating Yuta in basketball which he’s really good at. He’s kind-hearted and even good at studying, and the teachers always favor him. Yuta would often hear the girls, even from other schools, gush at how handsome he is with his pale skin and chiseled face. He didn’t care at first. But something is weird about that Jung Jaehyun. How can he be agile all the time? How can he keep running without looking so tired? And why is his skin so pale?  

Noticing the other half of the twin, Yuta thought that it might run in the family. Maybe they were born to look like models on the catwalk. They were built to be perfect individuals which irked him. His gaze unconsciously fell on the girl looking out the window during Science class. She doesn’t have as much presence as her brother but she had charisma. Yes, she's hot but certainly not hot enough. 

He was startled when she turned her head to him, raising an eyebrow as if asking why. Instead of turning his head to look away, he squinted his eyes at her and she smirked. What the heck is wrong with this girl? 

—-----

It was normal for him to skip classes, especially Math time but it surprised him that someone in the same uniform is outside the school as him. "You should come with us, pretty girl." The guys with motorcycles claimed that made the said girl stop in her tracks. "You seemed rich." One guy said while signaling another guy to get her backpack. She revolted but someone was holding a pocket knife that made her freeze. 

Yuta shook his head, appearing himself from the shadows that made the boys startled. "That's foul," he said in a commanding tone. "Give back the bag." The girl stared at him for a while before she was held by that guy with the pocket knife. 

"This isn't your business, Yuta." The guy said. "Leave!" 

The mentioned guy cocked his head to both sides, flexing his fingers so that his knuckles created a crackling sound. Some guys looked scared that they scrammed away. He breathed on his fist and then landed a solid punch on a guy who charged at him. He kicked another guy to the stomach then took another's arm, holding him to the ground and twisting it. "She's my business," he said rather cockily. "Let her go." 

The guy with the knife pushed the girl and Yuta was quick to help her stand up. Everything was fast, he heard her shout then he felt something poke his side. The guys ran, with their things, leaving him on the ground with a bleeding side. Great! He might just die like this. "Hey, I have to take you to the hospital, do you have your phone?" The girl asked, hands trying to locate a phone in his pockets. 

"Are you just groping me?" He smirked. She rolled her eyes at that, surprised that he still has time for jokes like this. "My phone is inside my bag." 

"Fuck!" She cursed, surprising him. So she knew how to curse. The girl unbuttoned her blouse, revealing a tank top inside her uniform then tied the fabric to his wound. "I have to bring you to the hospital. This is just first aid." 

She stood up but he held her wrist, stopping her. "I'm alright dying here." He said with a smile. "I'm just happy to see a girl undress in front of me before I die." 

"What the fucking hell is wrong with you?" She exclaimed which startled him. She looks so pure and innocent. Now that he was staring, he noticed how her eyes were light brown in color. Is this her normal eye color? It looks lovely, like a galaxy can be seen in her eyes. "You can't die. I'll be filled with guilt." Yuta smirked. "Wait for me. I'll just call someone." 

He held her wrist, stopping her from going anywhere. "I'm fine. Just let me die."

"You won't, stay here." Then everything went black. 

Yuta could only see the blinding lights when he opened his eyes. A girl in white asked him how he was feeling and his first thought was that he might really be in heaven. But then, a person like him doesn't deserve to be in heaven. So where is he exactly? "I'll inform the doctor that you have woken up." Oh. A hospital. Why the hell is he here? 

He surveyed the area, it was huge. Are hospital rooms always this spacious? There were fruits on the side of the bed, a huge TV in front of his bed, and a huge window. He can get used to this. A man in a white robe entered the door, smiling warmly at him. Yuta’s first thought is that his smile is vaguely familiar and when he spoke, he realized what it was. “Thank you for saving my daughter.” Their family really might be really perfect. 

The older did some tests on him and advised that he should stay in the hospital for a few more days to make sure that nothing bad would happen to him. Yuta had to refuse calling his guardian and the older Jung just gave him a nurse to take care of him. He agreed, thinking it was a hot female nurse but a man in white came in and introduced himself as the person taking care of him. 

On the third day of staying in the hospital, the Jung twins came. The girl was holding a bouquet of flowers that made him grin. He can totally get used to this. His gaze fell on her eyes, dark orbs making him confused. “Your eyes are brown, isn’t it?” Both the girl’s father and brother stared at her and then at him as if he just said something wrong. 

“It might just be the light that time,” she said in a soft voice. She’s different from when they were on the backstreet at that time. Totally different. 

—-----

It must be because they were perfect that she had to always be the prim and proper little daughter in front of her family. That was the thought ringing in Yuta’s head while watching the female Jung during their class. He wasn’t even interested in getting into his classes, just wanting to observe the female and his weirdness. “Yuta,” the teacher called and he turned to the old man in front, “Do you want me to transfer your seat next to Y/N?” He lightly glanced at the mentioned girl who had her head hung low. 

Something has changed with this girl. 

There were a lot of rumors and whispers around about him liking Y/N but it’s not the case. It’s safer to say that he’s curious about her. Well, anyone can say that he’s interested in her. But not in the same way that people thought about it. He doesn’t like her to that extent. 

Yuta was on his way out of the school gates, ready to skip Math class when he noticed a familiar girl seated under the shade. She has her earphones in, reading a book. A normal image of her. He sat beside her, getting one of the earphones and putting it on his ear. Surprised that she was listening to rock music. “What are you doing?” she asked, moving back to stay away centimeters from him. 

Instead of answering her, Yuta took a peek at the book she was reading. Unlike the usual books he can notice she was reading, this has lots of pictures and they’re all about the sea. “Do you want to go to the sea?” He asked casually but the girl stared at him in regard. She lightly bit her lip as if considering his offer. “Come on, let’s go.” He held her hand but she quickly removed his hold on her, surprising him. “We can take a bus…”

“I can’t,” she claimed, then closed her book, rolling the earphones in her hand. Y/N stood up and then walked inside the building leaving Yuta staring at her form. 

How interesting. 

Yuta hated music class but today, he was sitting at the back of the class watching as his classmates showcased their talent for musical instruments. Jaehyun played the acoustic guitar making the girls in their class swoon. When the other Jung was called, she stood up and then played classical music on the piano.  

A smirk escaped his lips. How superficial. “Yuta, do you want to show us your instrument?” the teacher asked and everyone turned to him, including her. He took an electric guitar from one corner of the room and plugged it into the stereo that created an ear-piercing sound. He started creating notes, and loud guitar riffs that he heard from her earphones the other day. Almost everyone in the room was covering their ears, complaining about how loud the sound is but she remained staring as if studying what he was doing, not fazed at the loud sound he was creating. 

When he returned to his seat, Y/N was looking at him as if confused. Her black dark orbs looked like the night sky, her pale skin looked like moonlight and her lips looked as red as cherry. Yuta smiled and for the first time, looked away from her. She’s fucking beautiful. Why does it take too long for him to realize it? 

—-----

Their house is majestic. Truly suitable for a perfect family like theirs. He isn’t a stalker, at least he knows he’s not, but one time he followed Jaehyun home and saw where they live. He also isn’t obsessive but he noticed where Y/N’s room is when he passed by one time and saw her on the balcony, looking at the stars. A huge balcony near a tree that he can easily climb. 

Yuta was suddenly thankful for the strength training he got from fighting. Flawlessly, he climbed the tree and jumped on her balcony just as it opened and revealed a surprised Y/N. The guy was disappointed that she was wearing long-sleeved silk pajamas with matching long pants. “What are you doing here?” She asked but he only stepped backward, hand touching what seemed to be a flower. 

Immediately, Yuta plucked the red rose and handed it to her. “To give you this.” The girl, once again, had a confused look on her face. “And to ask you to go to the sea.” 

“I told you I can’t.” She whispered, taking the rose which lightly grazed on Yuta’s finger. A small cut can be seen as a drop of blood gushed on his finger. Almost in a snap, Yuta noticed how her eyes became lighter in color. From the color of the night sky to the color of the galaxy. “You have to go.” She pushed him lightly, panic can be seen in her expression. “Yuta, you have to leave.” 

The guy had to glance down from the balcony, “You can’t expect me to jump…” A knock on the door can be heard as Y/N quickly closed the door to the balcony and closed the curtains before a voice can be heard, asking what she was doing. 

He isn’t mistaken. Her eyes really do change colors. But why? How? 

She was avoiding him. Even if they belong to the same class, Y/N would always come out before he could approach her. Jaehyun would always find a way to block him or even stop him from approaching his sister. Why? Is it wrong to show interest in a girl? Why is her brother protecting her like this? 

But Yuta isn't someone easily fazed by these trivial matters. If she's avoiding him then it only makes him want to chase her more. And not that he's a stalker but someone from class informed him, after a lot of persuading - bullying, in that someone's perspective - told him about the girl's whereabouts after class. 

Music room. How superficial. 

Yuta had never been in this part of the school. He doesn't have any reason to go here in the first place. Who would have thought that a girl would make him explore this part of the school? He kept on glancing inside the rooms for any sign of her, some even looked scared at his presence while others just notified him that the person he was looking for can be seen in the farthest music room. When he peeked inside, she was seated in front of an old upright piano. 

The melody she was playing sounded so familiar. It was a lesson they had in Music Class. He also heard it from a movie before. And it reminded him of an ocean. Oh, wait. La Mer? The Sea?

What was her fascination with the sea if she kept refusing to go to one? 

Yuta clapped and she whipped her head to him, surprised that he was in the same room as her. Her eyes were black, shining. "What are you doing here?" 

"Why are you avoiding me?" He sat beside her on the stool, pressing the same keys she was playing earlier. "Let's go to the sea." She was just focused on his fingers and he was conscious of what key to press next. "I can ask permission from your dad…" 

"No, it's not my dad." She claimed, fingers playing along with him. "I just can't." 

"Then, can you just stop avoiding me?" 

She stopped playing, body turned to face him. "Yuta, why are you doing this?"

"Why can't I do this?" He also stopped playing, facing her. The dark eyes widened when Yuta inched closer to her. "I like you, Y/N." She looked surprised at the sudden confession. "You're interesting. I can't keep my mind off you." 

“Then stop it.” 

Yuta inched closer, eyes staring at her cherry-red lips. “What if I don’t want to stop?” His lips gently went to hers, soft warm lips that made his head hazy. She didn’t even move so Yuta took this as a chance to lick her lips while angling his head to the side to deepen the kiss. His mind was clouded at the idea that she was kissing him back.

Then his bottom lip hurt. A prickling pain followed by a confusing feeling that made him lightly push the girl. The part that hurt throbbed. Her eyes turned light brown, a little blood staining on her lip which she licked. A flash of pointy teeth is noticeable before she put a hand on her mouth, standing up to exit the room. 

Her movements were so fast that he didn’t register what happened. Yuta lightly grazed a thumb on the side of his lip, blood could be seen on his finger. Could it be? 

Yuta never believed in the supernatural. They are just faceless creatures created as stories to scare young kids. Yuta also never believed that he'll read a book in the school library yet here he is, silently skimming books for fictional creatures just to get the answer he was looking for. 

She is pale. She likes to be alone most of the time. She has this fascination with the sea. She was always under the shade. Her eyes change colors. Yuta recalled the times it happened and came up with the common thing in those scenarios. He was hurt. There was blood. 

Pale. Shade. Blood. The pointy teeth. 

Words associated with vampires. 

Y/N is a vampire. 

Then Jaehyun is also one. 

It's been days since Yuta had made the observation. Days passed without her attendance at school. He noticed how Jaehyun stood out among the crowd with his pale skin and tall stature. It all now makes sense how agile he plays basketball and why he doesn't seem to get tired even if he plays rounds and rounds of the sport. A supernatural. 

If Yuta was in his right state of mind, he would think that he was losing his mind.

But falling in love makes you crazy. 

A feeling that he was slowly experiencing with her absence from school. "Jung Jaehyun," he called. The other guy glared at him before excusing himself from his group of friends. "Where is Y/N?" 

"What do you want from her?"

"What happened to her?" 

"What do you want from my sister, Yuta?" His voice was louder and it was slowly attracting the attention of the other students. “Y/N is someone you shouldn’t mess with. Our family, specifically.” But Yuta didn’t have the intention to mess with her. In honesty, she was the one messing him up. “Whatever you did to my sister, undo it.” 

What exactly did he do to her? He kissed her. That was it. Did something happen to her because of that kiss? 

Yuta needed to find out. The risk-taker part of himself wanted to find out. He did it before and he’ll definitely do it now that he’s desperate to see her. 

The balcony of her room was open but he stopped when he saw a female figure seated by the bed. From the silhouette itself, he knew it wasn’t the girl he was looking for. “Honey, it’s been days. You have to drink.” Drink? “Honey please.” The woman begged in her soft voice, whispering to the person she was talking to but it was all clear on Yuta’s ears. “You’ll die if you continue this.” 

Die? 

A heavy sigh can be heard followed by the words, “You should have erased his memory like what your dad said when he saved you back then.” Yuta exhaled heavily. It is about him. What exactly did he do to her? Is it reversible? Should he just run away from her? 

“I’m sorry, Mom.” Her voice was quiet, broken. A sound that shattered his heart into a million pieces. He cannot see her broken. He needed to keep his distance away to save her. 

Yuta stepped to the side and almost slipped if not for his quick reflex in holding onto the ledge of the balcony. It caused a small cut on his finger and a drop of blood appeared from the wound.

Blood. In a house of vampires. How great!

He heard the door of her room closed followed by her weak voice calling his name. How did she know that he was here? Is it the blood? Then, does the whole house know that he is here in her place? He had to come inside.

The sight of the girl looking as pale as moonlight while laying on her bed crushed him. What has he done to her? “How long have you been outside?” He hated that her voice was this hoarse, and hated that she looked so sick. “Yuta…” 

“Stop talking!” He shouted in a rather loud voice that made her visibly flinch. “Did I do this to you?” She was about to speak but Yuta had to glare. The girl weakly shook her head. Yuta sighed then sat on the side of her bed. Even he, himself, knew that it was all just a lie. “Is it because we kissed?” Again, a shake of her head. Why can’t she stop lying? “Can I do anything to make you better?” Yuta moved closer to her. “Can I do anything to save you?” 

The girl gently pushed him away, gulping hard as if stopping herself from doing something. “I’m dangerous. You should run away from me.” The desperation in her voice broke Yuta. He doesn’t want to run away from her. If anything, he wants to stay with her. “Staying with me is dangerous, Yuta.”

“I know,” He started. “But I love you and I want to hurt even more desperately in this destiny.”  

“You have no idea…” 

“You’re a vampire,” Yuta claimed, her warm brown eyes widening in surprise. “You’re pale, you always wanted to be alone, you’re always in the shade.” He listed down, “And your eyes change colors when there’s blood.” 

Her eyes were warm, an expression of fright seen on her face. “Dad was right. I should have erased your memory back then.” 

Yuta moved closer as his breath tickled her lips, “I still would have fallen in love with you.” He whispered before leaning in to kiss her lips. It was a gentle kiss, a soft kiss different from what they shared in the music room. Her breathing was heavy and Yuta had to break off the kiss to check on her. She looked paler than before. Is she allergic to kisses? Should he not kiss her? But it probably isn’t that. 

He remembered from the book he read that vampires don't necessarily take human blood to drink. That’s what rogue vampires do. And it was the answer in Yuta’s mind on how their father works in the hospital even if he was a vampire. But once they have the taste of a human’s blood, it will be like a drug to them. Y/N bit him when they kissed, she had a taste of his blood. 

He’s now a drug to Y/N. The reason why she refused to drink the blood given to her and was just sitting on her bedside table. And for her not to die, there’s one thing he should do. “Bite me.” The girl stared at him in surprise. Yuta cocked his head to the side, his neck in full access to her. “Just bite me, Y/N.” 

The inhibitions in her expression were gone. She flashed her pointy teeth before sinking it into Yuta’s neck. He grabbed the sheets to prevent himself from making a sound at the pain of what she did. A pain that was changed into a feeling of being light-headed real quick. A foreign feeling as if he was floating in clouds. His body felt cold, shivering in thrills.

And then everything went black. 

—---

The room was dark when Yuta opened his eyes. His initial thought was a basement but a certain voice made him realize where he was. “Did you have an amazing sleep?” Jung Jaehyun’s room. The guy who owned the room clucked his tongue as he switched off the turntable. “It didn’t occur to me that you’ll be that serious of my sister.” 

Yuta sat up from his bed, eyeing the room. The curtains are closed and there’s only a faint light coming from a small night light by the bed. “I’ve heard a lot of things about you Yuta Nakamoto and being smart isn’t one of them.” He squinted his eyes at the remark. “Now that you know what our family is, I hope you won't put your life in danger.” Jaehyun left some fabric on top of the bed before fixing the tie of his uniform. “Hurry up, we’ll be late for school.” 

Jaehyun’s uniform was bigger on Yuta’s body but what makes the morning uncomfortable is being the only human in a house full of vampires. Yuta smiled when Y/N came down the stairs, in her uniform, looking livelier than when he saw her last night. She sat on the vacant seat beside Yuta, just in front of her brother. “Are you feeling better?” Yuta asked and she nodded, grinning at him. 

She looks well. That was a good sign. 

The father of the household went down and Yuta stood up to greet him. Y/N was the one who introduced Yuta and he just nodded while smiling, claiming that he already knew him from the hospital. "So, Mr. Nakamoto," he started. "Where are your parents?" 

Yuta shook his head. "They died when I was young." The twins looked at him in surprise as their mother gasped. "I lived in a foster house until I have enough to live on my own," Jaehyun whispered to the other girl if she knew about it and she just shook her head making Yuta laugh. "Don't worry. This is the first time I shared that fact with anyone." 

The older man had a serious look before putting both his hands on the table. "I'm sorry about that." He then pursed his lips. "But you do know that by pursuing my daughter, you're not just putting your life in danger but also our own kind of people." Yuta had to look at the steak on his plate. He didn't realize how huge this is. "When the time comes, our priority is our people." 

"I understand, Doctor Jung." The older girl lightly glanced at her daughter before Yuta continued, "But I'm serious about Y/N and you can trust me in keeping your identity a secret." His hand held Y/N's hand that was above the table, "If the time comes, I'm willing to die for Y/N." The girl beside him gasped at that statement and their mother smiled at him warmly. 

The older woman held her husband’s hand, mimicking the same way Yuta held her daughter’s hand. “Honey, let’s trust Yuta. I can say that he’s serious about our daughter.” The older man nodded, tapping the other’s hand. “Let’s spare Yuta his memories for now.” 

—----

Y/N and Yuta were inseparable. Classmates would always note that Yuta had changed so much because of Y/N and it was the truth. A lot has changed because of her. Who would have thought that vampires do exist? And in this world full of humans? If he's going to tell anyone, they might think that he's crazy. 

He doesn't usually read but he always has books, made-up stories about vampires, that made him obsessed. Y/N would always laugh at him, claiming that they don't disintegrate in sunlight or die because of garlic or a cross. 

Since he's always at their house, he learned some things about her kind. That they have fantastic stamina, the reason why Jaehyun still looks like his model self even after PE class. That they drink pig's blood rather than human blood because it's morally right. And it was the answer to why her father can work in the hospital. 

Her parents are very fond of him. Even reaching to the point where they favor Yuta over his little silly arguments with Jaehyun, their own son. It was like their daughter’s boyfriend is a massive part of their family. 

So it wasn’t a surprise when he got invited to the annual party her family hosts. 

The night was filled with dances and formal wear. Her mom even bought Yuta his own tuxedo and he marveled at how gorgeous his girlfriend looked in her silver ball gown. They truly are a picture-perfect family, looking like models on the runway. And everyone invited probably thought of the same thing as they exclaimed in awe when the four members were on the mini-stage. Yuta wondered if they were all vampires. Is he the only human around here? He hoped not. Or it will be trouble.

“Hi,” she greeted with a wide smile on her face. Yuta mirrored the same expression before tucking a lost hair behind her ear. “Are you enjoying yourself?” 

The guy only smiled widely, “The food is amazing.” He complimented before grinning wider, “You look amazing.” Yuta noticed how a group of people stared at him and her, surprising him. He stepped forward and whispered, “Just a little curious, am I the only human here?” 

Y/N had to turn back to glance at the people he was looking at. "Dad has some co-workers as guests." She lightly chuckled, “Are you worried about that?” Yuta bit his lip. Should he be worried? “Dad put scent blockers on you so the vampires wouldn’t smell your blood.” He gave a breath of relief and she held his hand tight. “Come with me.” 

He stayed in his place that startled her, “We’re not doing something that your parents would disapprove of, right?” She giggled before shaking her head. Why is he suddenly disappointed?    

The garden looked lively with the lights her mother designed it with. The mini fountain lights up in different colors and the flowers bloom so colorful that everything looks like a  dream. Wait, is this even a dream? Even Y/N, who walks under the fairy lights, looked so lovely that he’s scared none of these were true. His hold on her was tight, not wanting to let her go even for a bit. “What is it?”

Yuta shook his head, a wide smile kept appearing on his lips. “Nothing.” He whispered before gently pulling her hand closer. “You are just so beautiful.” They stopped in the middle of the garden, just staring at each other. 

It was fast but he didn't complain. Yuta doesn’t know if he was the one who made the first move or her. Who kissed who first? Her lips were soft, tongue tasting like mint that it made him dizzy. His body felt so hot as if getting a fever. 

She let go of the kiss, breathing warmly against his jaw as she pressed butterfly kisses down his neck. “Yuta,” she called in a low voice, sending shivers down his spine. “You smell so good.” Her lips were warm against his neck. A pleasurable feeling. “I want you.” Yuta had to bite down a moan at how hot that sounded coming from her lips.

“Y/N,” a female voice called that snapped Yuta back to his senses. Standing in front of the two of them was a gorgeous female in her bright red dress, long black hair, and black stilettos. “I’m sorry if I ruined the moment.” A smirk played along her cherry-red lips. 

The girl beside Yuta stiffened. “Auntie,” she asked before pulling him behind her. Her aunt? But she looks so young. “I didn't know Dad invited you.” 

The pale woman smiled devilishly. “He didn’t. But I’m family, aren’t I?” The way she said those words are chillingly cold. Who is this? Why is Y/N looking scared? “Your boyfriend?”

Before she could say something, a bass booming voice called for the other woman’s name. “There was a reason I didn’t send you an invite.” Y/N’s dad. “Leave before you cause trouble.” 

She gave a longing look at Yuta before disappearing. The younger guy had to blink twice to confirm what was happening. Y/N looked worried at her dad before asking her to go inside, leaving Yuta with her dad. “I can smell your blood rush from the inside,” he claimed once there were only the two of them. Yuta’s eyes widened in surprise. But he didn’t get hurt. “I’m not against you dating my daughter but please tone down the passion. She’s still my young girl.”  

They can smell his arousal? This is embarrassing. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” The older tapped his shoulder, smiling. 

When Yuta went back inside the party, all eyes were on him. Why are they staring like that? Did they smell him like her dad? Then he might be in trouble. They’re all vampires. What if there’s a rogue one who wants his blood? 

Maybe he should just leave. 

Y/N was worried when he said goodbye but Yuta just reasoned out that he was getting a headache. Jaehyun even commented that he might have to take care of something other than his head. The thoughts were confirmed, they could really smell his arousal. This is so embarrassing—more reason to leave early. 

He promised to call Y/N once he was almost home. Her voice can be heard on the other line as he inputs the code for his room. “Do you want me to come and ask Dad to check on you?” She asked, making Yuta laugh. She’s too worried, it’s endearing. 

“I’m fine. I’ll just sleep this off.” He stopped in his tracks when he opened the door. A female figure was standing in the middle of his room. What is she doing here? Did she follow him? How did she get inside? He felt his body tense up, he cannot move. Is this some spell? “YN,” he called, breathing shallowly as his heart started beating fast. “I love you.”  

He didn’t hear her answer and just put down his phone. “I know why my niece is so obsessed with her human boyfriend.” The woman started, walking to where he is, holding his shoulder and dragging a finger on his neck. Her sharp fingernail created a small cut then dabbed her fingertip with his blood. Erotically, she licked her finger and then hummed. “You taste so good.” 

Yuta had to stop his breathing. He knew this was his death. How cliche is it to fall in love with a vampire yet get killed by her own kind? This is the danger of knowing about what they are. 

Blood rushed to his system but not in the same way as when Y/N did this to him. This bite feels painful, like a poison filling his veins. Every memory flashed in his mind: his parents, the orphanage, the adrenaline of fighting, his friends at school, and Y/N. This is definitely his death. 

His body felt cold, wet. In a daze, he can see water above him. He’s drowning. But why? How? He saw a pair of arms taking him out of the water before his vision turned black once again. “Is he still alive?” A female voice. Y/N. “Dad, please tell me Yuta is still alive.” She sounded so broken, so desperate. 

“Y/N, he’s sucked out of blood and Auntie drowned him. There’s no way he’s still alive.” The cries became louder with what Jaehyun claimed.   

Everything is quiet and Yuta can feel his body getting dragged somewhere deep. A booming voice can be heard before his consciousness failed him, “There is still something we can do.” 

—----

Yuta woke up feeling light-headed. The curtains of his room were closed so he had to look at his phone to check what the time was. To his surprise, it was already late. He had to run at this rate. Hastily, he prepared for school and made sure that he had enough time to ride the bus. 

He was running from the bus stop to the school grounds, along some students who were already sweating through their uniforms. Once he arrived at his homeroom, his seatmate greeted him with a shake of his head. "Late again?" Yuta chuckled but the other shook his head. "I can't believe you ran from the bus stop. Why are you not sweating?" But Yuta just smiled, shrugging it off. 

His gaze fell on a certain desk by the window. Something should be there. Someone should be sitting there. Where is she? 

Instead of soccer practice, he found himself walking to the dark hallways of the music room. It's usually unoccupied but at the far end of the rooms, he could hear the fleeting music of the piano. La Mer. The Sea. 

Why is she so obsessed with the sea? 

Y/N turned around hearing Yuta clapping after finishing her piece. "Why aren't you in class?" he asked, sitting beside her. His fingers started playing the same notes she was playing earlier. "Do you want to go to the sea, Y/N?"

The girl giggled before pushing the music sheet in front of him. "Again?" Yuta smiled. "If my dad was normal, he would ground me for going home late last night." 

"Your dad loves me." She smiled, nodding. He did. His fingers skillfully played the notes of the classical piece, "But I love you more." 

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "Are you hungry?" 

Yuta grinned, shaking his head. "But that is tempting." The girl had to laugh at that. "I'm so sick of pig's blood. How can you keep drinking the same…?" He stopped seeing the girl bunch her hair on the side, the side of her neck in full access for him. 

The innate thirst for blood came to him like a shock. His mouth was so dry that he could easily feel the appearance of sharp fangs. From the reflection on the tinted window, he saw how his eyes turned from black to light brown. "You didn't get enough sleep again," Y/N scolded, "I told you to bite me before leaving last night." 

"I can't." 

"Yuta, it's normal for new vampires to feel that hunger." She held his cheek, urging him to not suppress his inner desires. "And it's my job, as your sire, to help you." 

The guy leaned his head on her shoulder, nose lingering on the side of her neck to smell her. "I don't want to always ask you for this," he whispered before licking the side of her neck. "But I badly want you." His teeth sank into her skin, a moan escaping her lips. 

Yuta felt the warmness traveling through his body. Her blood tasted so sweet that he was getting crazy. "Sorry," she whispered. "I made you one of us." His hand held hers, tongue licking the remaining blood from her neck. "I was so scared seeing you lifeless in the tub. When dad suggested letting you drink my blood…" 

He hushed her up, not wanting to hear the guilt in her voice once again. "This is the best thing that ever happened to me, Y/N." He smiled, white fangs tainted with blood in perfect view. "I didn't regret being a vampire if it meant being with you forever." Yuta leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her lips before leaning in once again to place butterfly kisses on her lips. "Let's get some food in you, you're getting colder." 

"Want to buy some pig's blood?" 

Yuta looked disgusted, "I had my fill." She chuckled. "Besides…" he started, linking their hands together. "If given a choice of blood," he continued, smiling warmly at her. "You're my favorite, my sire."  

"You'll always be my favorite." 

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #nakamoto yuta fluff #yuta angst #yuta nakamoto angst #nakamoto yuta angst #vampire au

[yutahoes]

Your girl is going to the NCT Home exhibit in our country. Too much Yuta in one place. ♥️ Once again, my introvert self is shaking. 😭 I hope I can meet an Ai or Yutami moot. 🥰

#personal

[yutahoes]

Hiiii!! I've been rereading your fics recently cuz I was swimming in yuta drought 😭 I just thought of something, if given a chance would you like to do a mystery/psychological/thriller fic with 127 as the mains? 🙆‍♀️🥰

Hi anon. 🙋 I hope my fics somewhat ease your Yuta drought. 🥹 Thank you for re-reading my fics. It means so much to me. ♥️

About that genre, I've always been a huge fan. But I don't have the confidence in writing a fic in that genre. I don't think my brain can come up with something that profound of a plot. 😭 Huge respect to mystery writers out there. ❤️ I'm sorry, anon.

#dear anon #anon ask #sorry anon

[yutahoes]

i just binged all of polarity right now and i’ve never been so captivated by a mafia storyline before. this is such an incredible series and i’m so glad that yuta is getting the attention he deserves. you are also an amazing writer; there were so many moments where i went “wow, i didn’t expect this or “now it makes sense!” and it was just a massive rollercoaster reading this. i am super excited to see chapter fifteen and the rest of this series. thank you for posting this!

I just saw this message, I'm sorry if the response was really late. 😭 Thank you for your compliment. I can't take all the credit since I base some scenes from the readers' comments but I hope you'll love Polarity until the end. 🙏🏻

Thank you for spending your time creting ths messge and reading my works. 🥰

#dear anon #polarity #feedback

[yutahoes]

Polarity

Chapter Sixteen (Final)

Masterlist

characters: mafia boss! Yuta Nakamoto x innocent! florist! reader

summary: While running away, you seemed to be moving closer to the man you were avoiding. Are you even heading to the right direction?

chapter word count: 5.5k words

chapter genre: angst, fluff

chapter warning: crying, mention of death, mental health problems, voices in the head, a slapping scene, lacking ending

taglist: @sourirensoleillee @kyuprincess @nuoyipeach @anonjyxd @a-bts-world @a-place-filled-with-random @smolbeanieee @yumilovesavocado @imnotsureokay @dhaly-g @spicyryujin @doodoodove @blueeyedlove-blog1 @kosmoreads @joepomonerof @calipsou @yutadae @juungvely @hangyeomcult @cherrphoenix @itsyntt @winterwritesblog @yutazen27 @ytzvivi @brightestmark @yujaesstuff @johnbanana @fullsunncit @loverofnct @127lvr4 @scuzmunkie

a/n: I am terribly sorry for the super late update (I have been saying that a lot) A lot of things just happened personally. I have a terrible time thinking of how to end this story and this wasn't the best option but this is the only thing that made sense. Thank you for coming with me on this wild ass ride. I am sorry if I disappointed you with the ending but I'm really thankful for the time you spend reading this series. I'll try to be better and update faster in the coming days.

It was the longest month of your life: one funeral, after another, then another. A lot of lives were already lost. And the last one is the hardest one to accept. 

This is the reason why you planned to run away, why you wanted to leave in the first place, to save Yuta and Momo from you. In the end, you were the reason why they died. You cannot accept the reality presented in front of you. The people you once met and loved are now ashes jarred in a columbarium. 

Doyoung and Jaehyun kept on assuring you that you were not at fault. It was an accident. Yuta was driving fast for someone who doesn’t drive that much and the roads are steep because of the cliff. Johnny hated to see you kept crying and forced you to come with him to his hometown. To forget and move on from everything. 

But how can you move on from this? How can you forget the best yet most traumatic thing that happened in your life? 

The voices were louder in your head. The nightmares became more vivid each night. 

You just wanted the things in your mind to stop. 

So when Johnny brought you to the best psychiatrist in Chicago, you didn’t hold back and kept crying at the stranger in front of you. You told him everything and you only got a piece of a fantastic quote from him, “If you put it out, it will come out.” 

It didn’t make sense at first but when you found yourself listening to one of the doctor’s past patients, who became a great speaker, you found yourself inspired by how she managed to turn the things in her head into something amazing.

If your nightmares become your reality, why not make your reality into fiction? 

You worked part-time, as Johnny’s assistant, to pay for writing courses in a nearby college and started to put your life back to pieces by writing a novel. With Johnny’s connections as the son of the feared mafia in Chicago, you got your book published. It didn’t take a year for it to become one of the best-seller fiction books in the country. A book about a friend and a traitor. Sophie and Mark. The love story you wished they had, if none of these happened. 

Then the following year, as per the readers' demand, you created a story based on two of your friends who you found out are dating in real life. A well-known doctor and a nameless club hostess. Jaehyun and Lexi. 

It still amazed you when Jaehyun came to Chicago and he shared that he was dating Rachel, a friend of yours. You didn’t know anyone named Rachel and when he shared a picture, you were surprised that it was Lexi. He did share that he first saw her when they came to check on Kyoko. And when you were confined to the hospital, after the whole ordeal with Mark, the feelings just developed. It inspired you to make the book that became your second shot at fame.   

By the third year, you shifted to fiction from self-help books and it had been selling like pancakes. 

Maybe this is your calling. 

The voices come to you as a whisper now. The nightmares become blurry each night. The therapy is working. Putting it out is working out.

You’re slowly getting your life back together. 

“Aren’t you going back?” Johnny asked one morning and you gave him a confused look. “It’s Sophie’s death anniversary.” You stared at the floor. Are you ready to face her? “You’re doing so well, maybe it’s time to tell her that.” He was right, you definitely should go back. Maybe you can brag about the books to her. That you made a name for yourself, that you created a new world for yourself. That you’re slowly surviving these all. 

But you’re scared. “Will you come with me?” 

Johnny shook his head, smiling at you. “I still have work here.” You pouted. You don’t want to go back alone. “But I’ll message Jaehyun.” 

The airport looks the same as when you last left. Busy. Crowded. A lot of memories had happened in this same place. You remembered being nervous to board the plane for the first time. You remember crying so hard when you received the bad news on the phone. You remembered Johnny telling you how happy he is that you chose your happiness. You remembered being abandoned by your dad. You remembered being saved by a person with chocolate brown eyes.  

You grasped the sling of your body cross bag at the memory. He’s passing your mind again. It’s making your heart hurt. 

“Baby!” Someone called and you saw Jaehyun waving his arm while running to you, Lexi glaring at him. “I’m so glad you’re here. We have something to tell you…” You greeted the girl, “Love, tell her.” Before the woman beside you could speak, Jaehyun held your hand. “Rachel and I are getting married.” 

It still makes you wonder who Rachel is. But when Lexi rolled her eyes, you gasped and then looked at her in surprise. “It’s a small wedding. Family and just a few friends.” She claimed as if it was not a big deal. But it is, your eyes are even tearing up at the announcement they shared. 

“And she’s going to make you her maid of honor.” 

Lexi slapped Jaehyun’s shoulder, “I should be the one telling her that.” The tears fell and they both looked at you in surprise. “I’m sorry. Don’t you like that?” 

You shook your head. “No, I love it. But why me?” 

The girl smiled warmly at you, “Because you were the reason why we met.” Jaehyun wiped the tears on your cheek with his thumb, “Y/N, you are the best thing that happened to both of us.” He claimed that it made you tear up more. Lexi scolded her fiance at how he made you cry but you only laughed at that. 

Who would have thought that they’ll be perfect for each other?  

Instead of heading to the hotel first, you decided to visit Sophie’s tomb located in a cemetery in her hometown. It feels nostalgic to be back in the place. The first time you’ve been here, you were filled with grief. Now, you have mixed emotions. 

The marble was obviously taken care of. Sophie’s picture made you mirror the same expression as hers, smiling. “I miss you.” You started, brushing your hand along her embossed name. “I miss your burnt toast and that overly bitter coffee.” The side of your lips curled up as you fixed the flowers, camellias, to adorn her marble. “I miss talking to you.” 

The tears automatically fell like waterfalls, “I’m sorry.” You whispered, “I’m sorry I put you in danger. I should have listened to you from the start. I’m sorry, Sophie.”

You didn’t know when was the last time you cried in pain, you’ve been crying a lot in joy for the past years. You let the tears flow, making their way to her marble as if wiping the sins you’ve done to your friend. You kept on apologizing, grasping the cold marble in your fingertips. The weather seemed to match your mood as it suddenly rained, masking your weeps of grief. 

It was really dark when you left the cemetery and drove back to town. You didn’t even know if the road you’re traveling on is the right way since the GPS is busted because of the thunderstorm. It didn’t help that your phone was out of battery. You were getting frustrated that when your car overheated and stopped on the road, you just bumped your head on the steering wheel. Why is your day so unlucky like this?

A knock on the door of your car startled you, an old man with a clear umbrella looking at you in worry. You didn’t realize that you were honking the car so loud with your action and apologized to the man you bothered. “Do you want to have some tea inside?” You glanced at the small homey shop with the sign that said ‘closed’ on the door. You stared at him in confusion before he smiled, “No one really wants tea at night. But you might need some.” 

You didn’t know why you said yes. But in your defense, the old man looks so nice. The scenario has an element of horror fiction or just a small funny anecdote that made you laugh. The old man left a tray of tea in front of you just as the smell of lilies filled the air. The last time you had tea with Yuta, the last time you saw him, you were having this exact flavor of tea. You smiled at the painful memory. “You’re not from here, aren’t you?” The old man asked, sitting in front of you. 

You nodded before taking a sip of tea, the taste almost the same as you had before. Painful. “I visited a friend.” It must be a lot of information for a stranger but being put into therapy sessions to open up, you were so used to talking to other people. “The tea tastes great. And your place feels so warm.” You took in the interior of the shop: the wood tables and chairs, the warm atmosphere, and the flowers on each table. 

The old man grinned, “My son loves tea so with the little money my wife and I saved, we opened this shop.” He smiled once again and you noted how warm it feels, must be why the small shop is homey. “It’s not that huge but we’re surviving.” This should be advertised more. Let some locals, and even tourists, know about how warm this place is. With the atmosphere, it will be good to put a library on one side. “My son wanted to put a small library on that side,” Your eyes widened in surprise, you were just thinking about that. “He works in the library.” 

“I can donate some books.” You claimed before you could stop yourself, “And maybe I can write about your tea shop in one of my books and let some readers visualize the experience here.” 

“You’re an author?” You nodded. “My son loves books. He’ll be over the moon if I get your sign.” He stood up and then took a piece of paper from the counter. 

You were embarrassed. Why did you say that? Your books are catered more to female audiences. Even if you give your autograph, you doubt his son reads your books. But the older man looked so excited that you didn’t burst his bubble. “What should I put as a name?” You asked, uncapping the marker. 

“Hayate,” he answered. “My son’s name is Hayate.” 

—---

Lexi kept on talking about Jaehyun's quirks that would only make you smile. It still fascinates you how the person who hated you before is now talking about a person you first knew in this mafia business. Who would even think that Lexi and Jaehyun would end up together? It’s impossible. But then, there’s nothing impossible right now. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” Lexi started and you gave her a heart-warming smile. This is something that you wanted to tap into for a long time. “If you feel uncomfortable choosing my flowers, it’s fine. You can tell me.” 

You smiled then shook your head. You have to face the trauma. “I’m fine.” You said in a lively voice. “We have to get pretty flowers for your bouquet.” 

The stalls were adorned with colorful flowers, a huge reminder of the work you first had. Before all of this. If only you stayed in that time, maybe Sophie is opening a stall here. The smell of flowers, woody and musky, filled the air. A very nostalgic sight and scent. 

Since Lexi doesn’t have any ideas about flowers, the reason why she asked for your help, you settled on finding a very particular flower that you knew would look good in a wedding bouquet. Ranunculus. It is a very common flower but not that common in the season and when you spotted a certain stall selling that exact flower, you immediately approached the owner. She was an old woman, probably in her late fifties, with a nice smile. You found out that she has her own garden filled with ranunculus and with Lexi’s permission, ordered flowers for her bouquet. You even added some protea to decorate the wedding hall. 

It was a fruitful errand. You were thankful that Lexi asked you to come with her. The flowers really did calm you down. You missed being surrounded by their colors and scent. The last time you were in a room full of flowers was at the flower shop, with Sophie. The last time you saw so many flowers was in the garden Mark cultivated. They would really love it here. 

You glanced at Lexi and the old woman talking so you just looked around for flower species that you remembered. A certain six-petaled, white flower caught your attention. Lily. “Hi,” you heard a female voice say before taking a piece of the flower you were eyeing. “This is for you.” Your smile fell when you saw the young girl. “You might have liked Lilies.” Momo.     

“Haruhi!” Another female voice called that made the young girl turn at the old woman talking with Lexi. She smiled your way before excusing herself and running to the older woman. 

She looks so much like Momo. Are your eyes fooling you? 

“Y/N,” Lexi called which snapped you back to your senses. “Are you alright?” 

You nodded then smiled. Maybe you just miss Momo so much.  

The Columbarium didn’t change. The jar where Yuta and Momo’s ashes were surrounded with dying flowers that you quickly replaced. Their picture, smiling widely, a bitter reminder that they’re both gone. 

“I missed you both more today.” You whispered, fingers grazing the porcelain jar. “I keep wishing that you’re still here with me.” It was a selfish wish. But it’s the only wish that would keep you sane. The only wish that makes sense in your life. 

You thought you could continue living without them: Sophie, Mark, Momo, and Yuta. You’ve been living well all this time. But right now, you realize how heavy life is without them. You cannot change the past. You were the reason why innocent lives were killed. You didn’t deserve to be happy with your life. You need to be miserable and pay for your sins. 

It was the idea you wanted to instill in Doctor Moon Taeil’s mind in your therapy session. He complimented how you look well compared to when he last saw you and you hated that. “I thought I’m okay. That I’m done fighting the voices in my head,” You started. Taeil was still the same smiling guy as he listened to you and it frustrates you. “But seeing them, knowing that they’re dead because of me, I hate that I’m doing well.” 

“You’re poisoning yourself,” Taeil claimed as his smile faded. “Do you remember what you desperately wanted before?” 

“To go back to my normal life.” 

He nodded, tapping his pen on the clipboard. “Now, you’re back to your normal life and more. You have everything that you wanted, Y/N. Shouldn’t you just live this life for them?” The smile on his face was back. “Yuta would definitely like it if you live your life happily.” 

You didn’t know if the talk helped. But for the first time, since you came back, you dreamed of him. Yuta and Momo were in the middle of a large lavender field, calling you over. You were running in their direction but they seemed to get farther as you grew closer. 

You woke up in cold sweats, voices in your head shouting ‘You don’t deserve to be happy, Y/N’. You tried to block them out by covering both your ears repeatedly. “I’m not crazy. This will stop.” You kept on mumbling to yourself to drown out the annoying noise but you can’t seem to make it stop. Your fingers kept on shaking as you poured the pills into your hand. 

You need to fight these voices inside you before it kills you alive. 

The pills aren’t helping. Even writing your thoughts isn’t stopping the voices in your head. A drive. Maybe a drive can help. 

Johnny used to do it a lot in Chicago. Whenever you cannot sleep and your mind is clouded with dark thoughts, he would take you out for a drive and watch the city lights. It used to calm you down. It turns the voices into a whisper. 

But Johnny isn’t here. And this is not Chicago. There are no night lights, just pure deserted fields. The weather isn’t helping at all. Why has it kept raining ever since you came back? 

You didn’t know why your feet and hands brought you to a familiar place. Maybe you needed to calm down so badly and this is the first place, here, where you felt that calmness. The lights were closed, as expected for a small shop that operates in the daytime. The rain was falling hard and the thunder rumbled as loud as it could. You knocked on the door loudly, hoping for someone to open the shop for you. 

The old man looked awake from his sleep and you profusely apologized when he opened the door. “It’s fine. Are you lost?” You’re not but you felt like you are. You nodded. 

Apologies kept on coming out of your lips as the old man walked you to the table by the corner of the shop. You smiled at how one part had an enormous shelf of books, some of the books looking very familiar. Your books. The world you created. Maybe the old man bought your books after your encounter. 

You are thankful that your feet brought you to this place. It really did calm you down. 

From the inside, you can hear hushed conversations and wonder if there was someone else awake because of you. You were once again apologetic. 

The old man came out with hot tea that made you thank him. It was a selfish request to prepare tea this late at night so you kept on thanking him while holding the hot cup in your hand. It was calming. A nostalgic feeling. “Are you having trouble sleeping?” You nodded, drinking the familiar tea. “My son said that chamomile can help you sleep better.” 

Chamomile. That’s why it’s too familiar. It was the first tea Yuta made for you. How memorable. 

Thunder rumbled and lightning came like a flash that startled you. You dropped the cup, earning a loud crashing sound. “I’m sorry,” You immediately crouched down to get the broken pieces of the cup, fingers shaking. “I’m sorry.” You repeated. The broken pieces of porcelain cut your fingers but it doesn’t hurt even if blood can be seen dripping from the cut. 

The old man called for someone and you only heard footsteps before it stopped in front of you. Rough hands pulled your fingers away from the broken pieces which made you turn to the person who spoke up, “Does it hurt?” 

You had to blink twice. The familiar black orbs. The familiar face. “Yuta,” you whispered, which made the guy in front of you stare in confusion. The tears fell from your eyes. He’s alive. He’s here. 

“Miss Y/N, are you alright?” The old man asked before the guy in front dropped your hand, covering the lower half of his face while gasping.

“You’re the author Y/N Y/LN?” The younger man stood up as if he were on fire. “Father isn’t kidding. I can’t believe I’m in front of an amazing author and I held your hand.” He stared at his hands before shaking his head, “I must still be dreaming.” 

It was your turn to be confused. He is Yuta. He looks exactly like Yuta. But why is he acting so differently? The old man chuckled when the younger ran back inside, “That’s my son, Hayate. He’s a huge fan of yours.” 

You chuckled to yourself. 

That does it.

You finally went crazy. 

—---

“Hayate Suzaki,” Doyoung recalled, showing you the folder that is filled with information about the person you asked for help. “He is a researcher from Romania and is currently a librarian in a local bookstore.” You kept on glaring at the copy of his passport picture and ID presented in front of you. “He does look like Yuta Nakamoto but I can assure you that he’s legit.”   

Jaehyun took the folder and nodded to himself, “He does look very much like Yuta.” He then glanced at you, “Y/N, you’re not crazy. It’s not a hallucination.” 

“Doyoung, there must be something not adding up. How can he look exactly like Yuta?” 

The said guy shrugged, “Y/N, I’m a policeman. Not a scientist.” 

The doctor beside you tapped your shoulder, “Y/N, Doyoung already broke the rules in helping us find information about this Hayate Suzaki. Let’s cut him some slack.” The man beside you held his chin as if thinking deeply, “And it’s possible that they might look alike. Yuta has a very generic face.” You glared at him. “He wouldn’t be Yuta. Yuta is dead.” 

“But what if he is Yuta?” 

Doyoung shook his head while Jaehyun heaved a tired sigh, “Maybe this is Yuta’s way of telling you to move on.” You stopped and stared at Jaehyun, “Let him go, Y/N” 

You tried to. Desperately. Jaehyun had always been with you that you didn’t have the chance to come back to the tea shop. Instead of moping over it and just kept on letting the voices get louder in your head, you busied yourself with the preparations for Lexi and Jaehyun’s wedding. 

The white gown looks so good on your new bestfriend. The initial impression of Lexi looking like a Greek Goddess came to you once again. Jaehyun is such a lucky man. “Why isn’t my bouquet here?” She asked. Your eyes kept on glancing at your phone, biting your lip in nervousness. This is your fault. You should have followed up on the bouquet. Now, you’re in a rush. 

A knock on the door can be heard and you open it to see the old woman you bought the flowers from, apologizing. “My husband’s car broke down. I’m sorry.” You shook your head. The important thing is that the flowers are here. Immediately, you fixed the flowers in the bouquet and handed them to Lexi. Before you could close the door, an old man came while holding the remaining flowers to use in decorating the hall. A very familiar old man.  

The girl who looks like Momo. The young man who looks like Yuta. The old man in the tea shop. The old woman selling flowers. It’s not just a coincidence. 

“Mr. Suzaki,” you called and the man smiled at you, greeting you. Both the old woman beside him and Lexi looked surprised. He introduced his wife and their flower business before introducing you as Hayate’s favorite author. “Hayate,” you called, “He’s not your son, isn’t he?” 

The couple’s face obviously frowned, “Mr. Suzaki, Hayate is not your son. He is Yuta Nakamoto.” You claimed, “The young girl in the flower stall. You call her Haruhi,” You cried, “She’s Momo. They’re not yours.” 

You heard a loud slap before feeling pain on your cheek. “Hayate and Haruhi are my children.” The old woman said, anger flashing in her expression. You held your hurting cheek. The room is spinning. Everyone’s eyes were on you. “They’re mine.” 

The old man held his wife’s shoulder, trying to calm her down. “Miss Y/N, I'm sorry for your loss but I think it’s time to move on.” 

When the couple left, your knees weakened and you quickly fell to the ground. Tears kept springing from your eyes but you weren’t sure if it was from the weight of their words or the slap of reality. “Y/N,” Jaehyun called, looking dashing in his black tuxedo. Lexi looked worried as she crouched down to check on you, ruining the form of her dress. “Are you alright?” 

It’s time to move on. 

You have to accept the reality. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, crying. “I ruined your wedding.” Lexi shook her head. “I’m sorry I ruined everything.” 

It’s time to move on. 

You have to accept the reality. You have to face reality. A reality without the love of your life. 

------

You kept on muttering an apology but both Lexi and Jaehyun just smiled at you, both shaking their heads. “You don’t have to come to Chicago with me. Johnny will pick me up from the airport.”

The newly wedded girl smiled. Radiance can be seen on her face. She looked prettier now that she was officially Mrs. Jung. “Think of it as our honeymoon.” 

Jaehyun chuckled, pulling his wife closer and then kissing her on her temple. “And it might take a long time before we can see you again.” You smiled timidly. With everything that happened, you decided not to come back in the meantime. If you want to move on, you should forget everything. Fight the demons in your head. Face the reality.   

This will be the last time you’ll run away from everything. 

“Miss Y/N,” you turned to the person who called you, a young man running to where you are. He stopped and then breathed hard as if he was having an asthma attack. Jaehyun, a typical doctor’s reaction, checked on him and Lexi gasped that he looked so much like Yuta. “This is so uncool,” Hayate whispered, then shook his head while assuring Jaehyun that he was fine. “Father told me what happened and I’m terribly sorry that mother hurt you.” He came all the way here to apologize? “I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry, Miss Y/N.” He hung his head low which made you smile. 

They’re right. They do look alike but they are so different. Like opposite sides of the magnet. 

“You actually came here to apologize for them, Hayate?” 

His eyes, round and sparkly, stared at you. “You know my name? You said my name?” 

You nodded, “Hayate.” He gasped then stepped backward. Why is he so weird? You stepped forward and he took another step back. “Are you alright? Your face is red.” You stepped forward to move closer to him but he walked briskly to hide behind Jaehyun. “Hayate.” 

“He’s so opposite of Yuta,” Lexi noted. “He’s like the nerdy Yuta.” 

“Yuta,” Hayate called. “Yuta Nakamoto.” You stared at him in surprise. “He was the guy you always describe in your blog posts.” Wait, he reads your blog posts? “The man crazy about fighting. The man who taught you how to love.” You smiled then nodded although his eyes were focused on the ground. “Your first love.” 

It’s comical how he said those words. They’re really different. You can now fully say that Hayate isn’t Yuta. 

“Yuta is a mafia boss.” He claimed and you nodded, “He isn’t just crazy about fighting. He’s crazy about you. He thought your dress was slipping. He dyed his hair blonde because your childhood friend said that you don’t like men with black hair.” You stared in surprise. How did he know those things? You never mention any of it in your blogs or your stories. “Yuta, who has a secret penthouse where he took your…” 

“Stop,” you said in a loud voice. “How did you know all that?” 

His eyes finally stared at yours. The black orbs turned chocolate brown, the warmness that you only felt from Yuta’s eyes. “They were dreams before. Fighting people, killing someone, holding someone.” The way he said those words were quiet yet it resonated so loud in your ears. “Then I saw you in the shop and the dream became clearer. The person I’m holding was you.” 

No, it can’t be. “That can’t be possible.” Jaehyun claimed, “Yuta died.” 

“There was a car crash, Haruhi crying beside me so I tried to push her out.” He stepped forward but it was you who stepped backward. “There was an old man who helped pull us out. Then an explosion.”  

You choke on a sob. How can this be possible? Hayate is now centimeters in front of you but you didn’t make any move. “I always thought your stories were oddly familiar. That even if you used a different character name, it’s always Sophie and Mark in my head.” You released a gasp. “It’s always Jaehyun and Rachel.” You glanced at the couple who looked as surprised as you are. 

“Your stories are my reality, Y/N.” 

You are not crazy. Yuta didn’t die. He’s here. In front of you. Pretty much alive. 

“I don’t have anything. I’m not even a mafia boss,” You chuckled, tears falling from your eyes. Hayate wiped the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “But I’m begging you to let me in your world.” 

“Please choose me this last time, Y/N.” 

—----

Our life is filled with choices. 

What to eat for breakfast? What to wear today? Should you cut your hair short? Should you make a move and talk to that cute boy? 

There are always choices. 

A choice to fall in love. A choice to be happy. A choice to be crazy. 

Just like how Cinderella chose to stay with the prince and not come back to the life she had before. Just like how Ariel chose to be a human rather than accept who she truly is. Just like how Rapunzel chose to trust a man she just met and live her life.  

Choices that lead us to our own happy ending. 

Is this a happy ending? 

No one knows. 

Because happy endings are always on the last page of the story. And only you can unlock the last page of your own story. 

You closed the book as applause can be heard from the audience. It still feels surreal that your new book is loved by many even if it is way different from the usual ones you write. 

A mafia boss and an innocent girl. 

A story very close to your heart. 

“Baby,” Jaehyun called, handing you a bouquet of pink roses. “You were amazing.” You giggled, thanking him. Lexi smiled widely, repeating the same thing her husband noted. 

Johnny gave you another bouquet of sunflowers, complimenting your book and audience. “Where is the biggest bookworm of all?” 

“Her biggest fan?” Lexi teasingly asked. 

You pointed at the dark-haired guy standing in front of the bookshelf, totally immersed in the book he was reading. A smile escaped your lips watching him in his own world. A total contrast to the person he was before. “You’re going to London, right?” You nodded at Johnny’s question. It was inevitable since the book is gaining popularity across the globe. “Is he coming with you?” 

“How about Momo? Are you bringing her to London?” Lexi asked. 

Once again, you nodded. “We might bring Haruhi with us.” You claimed, “We can’t leave our daughter with her grandparents. I told Hayate not to come, his parents are already old, but he is stubborn.” You noted before sighing, “Father-in-law says he’s like a magnet stuck with me so wherever I’m going, he’s going.” 

Jaehyun chuckled, shaking his head. “At least there’s still some Yuta left in him.” Johnny smirked, “Possessive.”   

The mentioned guy started walking to where you are, slipping a hand on your waist then pulling you close. “Still a jealous freak.” Jaehyun nodded at what Johnny claimed, “I can’t believe you married a guy like him, Y/N.” 

“You managed to charm the feared mafia boss in town and yet you married a nerd.” You giggled. Why does Jaehyun love to tease Hayate so much? Maybe because your husband wouldn’t retort and would just accept all their teasing. At least he’s not as hot-tempered as before.  

You smiled at the person beside you warmly, “It’s still the same. Yuta is Hayate. Hayate is Yuta.” 

Lexi teased that you are so in love with your husband that made you chuckle. Who wouldn’t? He’s perfect. The man who made you crazy and saved you from craziness at the same time. The man you’ll choose over and over again. Your first love. When Johnny asked you for any plans for your next book, you just gave him a huge grin. 

You closed the book you recently published. The bright embossed silver letters of the title explain the concept you might just continue in your next story.  

A popular book author and an easily flustered bookworm.

The current story of your life.  

Opposites that attract each other. 

Like magnets. 

Polarity. 

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta nakamoto fluff #nakamoto yuta fluff #yuta angst #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto angst #mafia yuta #polarity #nakamoto yuta angst

[yutahoes]

if I remember correctly, you're a fan of Dori Sakurada... and I just discovered that Mima-san is also the male lead in Coffee & Vanilla... HOW ARE THEY THE SAME MAN😭😭😭😭😭

now starting C&V lol I always thought of watching it but never got to it until now heheh

I'm sorry if this answer is super late. Work and personal life has been piling up. 😭

I actually first discovered Dori in Coffee and Vanilla. I enjoyed the manga and when my sister pointed out that there's a live action, I started watching cuts of the show. I haven't watched the whole series but I thought Dori is very handsome. My sister calls Dori, Mukbang Master because almost all his dramas have kissing scenes(?) And he's in Alice in Borderland.

Also, I just discovered this lately. Maito, Toshiki, and Dori are all Kamen Riders. Maito is the son of the first and original Kamen Rider while Toshiki is Koji Seto's brother. You should also check their works out.

You can say that I'm in my Cool Doji Danshi shit.😅 Also currently in my Jpop obsession.

#nuoyipeach #dear moot

[yutahoes]

Polarity

Chapter Fifteen

Masterlist

characters: mafia boss! Yuta Nakamoto x innocent! florist! reader

summary: While running away, you seemed to be moving closer to the man you were avoiding. Are you even heading to the right direction?

chapter word count: 5.4k words

chapter genre: super heavy angst

chapter warning: crying, death, gun, knife, blood, mental health, pills, nightmares, breaking up, major CHARACTER DEATHs

a/n: Sorry for the super late update and the last chapter plot twist. Please believe me when I say that I love Mark and his character. It was actually planned ever since in the beginning so yeah. I'm sorry. Also, apologies for this chapter. This is dark. Please prepare your heart for the worst.

taglist: @sourirensoleillee @kyuprincess @nuoyipeach @anonjyxd @a-bts-world @a-place-filled-with-random @smolbeanieee @yumilovesavocado @imnotsureokay @dhaly-g @spicyryujin @doodoodove @blueeyedlove-blog1 @kosmoreads @joepomonerof @calipsou @yutadae @juungvely @hangyeomcult @cherrphoenix @itsyntt @winterwritesblog @yutazen27 @ytzvivi @brightestmark @yujaesstuff @johnbanana @fullsunncit @loverofnct @127lvr4 @scuzmunkie

A boyish smile. The typical college boy next door. A man who adores flowers and knows the meaning behind them.

Mark Lee. 

Momo’s uncle. Yuta’s left-hand man. The future successor of the Nakamoto group. A friend you would always greet and would always smile at. 

A friend you killed. 

You gasped for breath, sitting up. Everything was dark. The same darkness from your dream.

Mark was standing in front of you, blood dripping from his lips. The steel of the gun felt cold on your fingertips.   

A friend you killed. 

“No!” You shouted, covering your ears to prevent that voice from ringing in your head. “Mark is alive. I didn’t kill him.” 

The door opened, light from the hallway almost foreign in the dark. “Y/N.” the male voice called, holding your shoulders to calm you down. 

You raised your head to look at him, tears springing from your eyes. “I didn’t kill Mark, right?” you asked. The guy only looked at you with worry in his eyes “Please say something, Jaehyun.” Your voice came in louder, fisting the front of his medical robe in desperation. 

The doctor stared at you, breathing heavily as if he was already exhausted. “Y/N, Mark fooled everyone. He betrayed everyone.” His voice was quiet. “He planned all of these.” 

You shook your head. Mark is kind and very soft-spoken. He’s smart but he cannot pull off something like this. He cannot do this kind of thing. 

Scenes from what happened that day flashed in your mind like an action movie. Momo tied in a dark and empty room whispering ‘Uncle’. The scent of oleanders. Kyoko being shot by Yuta in front of you. And Mark holding Momo in his arms. 

Then Mark was standing in front of you, blood dripping from his lips. Gun cold in your fingertips. 

You didn’t know what reality is from the nightmares. You weren’t sure if which of the scenes in your mind were real or just nightmares. 

You just wanted everything to stop. 

Jaehyun handed you white small pills. “It's just a nightmare Y/N,” he claimed then handed you a glass of water which you took. “Just take these and take a rest.” You complied before he continued, “I’ll ask Dr. Moon to see you tomorrow.” 

“Who is that?” 

“The chief of the psychiatry department.” 

“Jaehyun, I’m not crazy.” 

“I’m not saying you are.”He took the glass of water and returned it to the bedside table. “But you clearly need someone to talk to. Someone who knows what to do and what to say.” He asked you to lay down on the bed and pulled the blanket to cover your shoulders. “Do you want me to call Yuta?” 

You shook your head, feeling the tiredness of your eyes. “No, please don’t.” You closed your eyes, your body already feeling tired.

Everything returned to pitch black but you can hear Jaehyun's voice in your trance saying, “She’s asleep.” 

The smell of lavender filled the air. Momo, in her white dress, was standing in the middle of lavender fields. “Unnie,” she greeted with a wide smile which was easily replaced by a frown. Her dress started showing a splotch of red that came from her chest. “Unnie, what did you do?” She asked, crouching down while grasping her chest for dear life. 

You looked down at your bloody hands and a knife in your hand. 

“Y/N, what did you…?” You turned around to push the same knife on Jaehyun’s abdomen. “Y/N,” he called before you pushed the knife deeper. Blood started dripping from his lips. His pale skin turned paler as he fell on the ground, drowning in his own blood.  

You saw Yuta looking at you with a lot of fright in his eyes before you pointed the gun in his direction. “I’ll kill you for making me miserable.” 

A gunshot. 

And you sat up drenched in sweat. You gazed at your shaking hands with tubes attached to the back of your palm. 

Maybe you are indeed crazy. 

Doctor Moon Taeil is someone you didn’t expect from a psychiatrist. He’s super smiley and you were even convinced that Jaehyun is just messing with you by setting up this appointment. His office is filled with glass. One side oversees the tall buildings outside while the opposite side shows the reflection of his office. For the first time in maybe days, you saw yourself. You look terrible. Worse than when Sophie…

“So tell me about Mark.” The doctor in front of you casually asked. “What was he like?” 

Mark has a boyish smile. The typical college boy next door. Mark adores flowers and knows the meaning behind them. Mark is Momo’s uncle and Yuta’s left-hand man. Mark is a friend. 

“A friend who killed Sophie.” You blurted out loud. “Mark killed Sophie.” You found out about that fact from Doyoung when he accidentally shared it with Jaehyun inside your hospital room. The CCTV from the opposite establishment caught Mark coming into the hotel at the estimated time of Sophie’s death. The policeman listed him as one of the possible suspects first but knowing that you trust him, he took Mark’s name off the list. “And he’s coming after me.” 

The bright red letters of blood came to you. You’re next YN. “Mark wants to kill me.”  

Taeil tapped his pen on the clipboard. “You do realize that Mark is dead, right?” He claimed that made you look at him. “He cannot hurt you anymore.” 

“Am I the one who killed him?” 

The man in front of you didn’t say anything. The cheerfulness in his aura annoyed you. He should be serious about this. He should be mad at you for killing a person. A friend. The quietness made the thoughts swirl in your head. Mark. A friend you killed. 

Mark who killed Sophie because of you. 

Sophie, your friend, who was brutally murdered because of you. 

You killed a person. You were the reason why someone was killed. 

You held both hands on your ears, covering them to stop the voices from coming and haunting you. 

You killed a person. You were the reason why someone was killed. 

“I killed a person,” You blurted out loud, covering your ears repeatedly as tears sprung from your eyes. “I was the reason why someone was killed.” 

You hated how the man in front of you remained cheerful despite your crying. You looked pathetic. You looked terrible. You were ugly crying in front of a man you just met.  

“Doctor, please save me.” You desperately begged. “I just want my normal life back.” 

You didn’t even know how long you stayed in the hospital or how long you are going to stay. Even if you leave, you realized, you didn’t know where to go or what to do. Your dad is gone. Sophie is gone. You have no one. 

Jaehyun sometimes visits in the morning or night to check on you. Mama would visit, either with Aeri or Lexi. They would always ask you how you were and how was your relationship with Yuta which you wouldn't answer. “You’ve never seen him at all?” 

You shook your head. Jaehyun would beg you to meet Yuta or Momo since, as he claimed, they were begging to see you. Yet you cannot bear to see them. Not after killing a part of their family. 

You’re scared to see Mark’s niece broken. You killed the only memory of her mom. She had lost a lot of important people in her life even at such a young age. Your dad was the reason why Momo’s parents were killed. How dare you show yourself in front of her when you killed another important person in her life? 

You’re scared to see Yuta mad at you. Mark was his only ticket to get away from the life he wanted to run from and you ruined that. Yuta is in this mess because of your dad, because of you. 

You were the reason why innocent lives were killed; Sophie and Kyoko. You killed someone they trust. You killed a person. 

And it’s not impossible that you cannot do it again.

Jaehyun handed you another white pill after all your crying, a glass of water ready by the bedside table. He was talking to someone on the phone and when he averted his gaze away from you, you hid the white tablet in your blanket and pretended to take it. He only nodded when you returned the empty glass on the bedside table and tucked yourself to lay down. He removed the phone from his ears, closing the lights of the room. “Take some rest, Y/N. I’ll check on you later.” 

You didn’t know why you didn’t take that white pill. But feeling the effects of the lack of the pill in your body, you easily assumed that it was a sleeping pill. All this time Jaehyun has been dousing you with drugs to make you sleep. And maybe you should just take it. Every time you close your eyes, the image of Sophie’s body in the morgue, Kyoko’s smirk, and Mark dropping on the ground was all you can see. Momo grasping her bloody chest in the middle of lavender fields, Jaehyun with a knife on his abdomen, and Yuta’s look of fright flashed in your mind. You really should take the sleeping pills.      

But even before you could stand up to open the light and locate the white pill you hid on your blanket, the door opened that startled you. You pretended to sleep as you heard footsteps approaching your room. The small light by the table opened and you can hear some rustling in the background. There was a smell of lilies. Someone is changing the flowers in the vase from your room. 

So that is why there’s a different flower each day. 

But who would even do this? Jaehyun? He doesn’t look like he likes flowers. The only people you know who like flowers are Sophie and Mark. 

The footsteps became louder before you could even choke on a sob at the thought. The person circled your bed before stopping in front of you. You felt the hair covering your face being brushed to the side. “I miss you.” You prevent yourself from shedding a tear. You knew that voice. His warm hands held yours, kissing the back of your palm. “I miss you, Y/N.” He put your hand on his cheek, kissing the heel of your palm. “I don’t know what to do. I miss you, love.” 

His voice has two sides you’re accustomed to: the scary, loud one from when he’s mad partnered by his cold, dark eyes, and the soft, raspy one from when he’s whispering sweet words from you paired with his gentle chocolate eyes. Now, you discovered a third kind of voice. Broken. Sobbing. You can feel the tears on his cheek in your fingertips as he keeps on whispering that he misses you.

You wanted to open your eyes, to hold him and hush him. But doing that would only make everything worse. You don’t want to hurt him. You don’t want to hurt anyone. 

You cannot do this. 

Mama was right. Sophie was right. 

You’re not meant for this. You cannot be in Yuta’s world.

If you want to leave his world, you should learn to take care of yourself first. Jaehyun was startled when you refused to take the white pills and started to sleep normally. You talked to Dr. Moon about all the things bothering you without crying. You started to notice the little things around you: the vase of fresh flowers in the morning and the closed window. 

On your way to see Dr. Moon, you also noticed how the glass in his office was one-way. That someone can see you talking to him from outside. Your gaze cannot get away from the thought of who is watching you from the outside so when the doctor asked, “What is it that you badly want, Y/N?”, you didn’t hesitate in answering, 

“My old life back.” You gazed at the floor. “Waking up in the morning and cooking breakfast for my dad. Working in the flower shop with Sophie and going home to make dinner for my dad.” The tears welled in your eyes. 

“My life before he came.” 

With the psychiatric clearance, you were discharged from the hospital. You cannot go to your old house since you know that it was loaned to another mafia group so the only option you have left is Sophie’s apartment. 

Kim Doyoung was the one who brought you to Sophie’s place and it was your chance to clear what he knows about Mark Lee. He did share that what you heard was correct and Kyoko wasn’t even involved in Sophie’s murder. When you asked him the question bugging your mind, “I killed a person. Why aren’t you arresting me?” He didn’t hesitate to give you his honest answer. 

“Because your boyfriend asked to let it slide.” You gave him a confused look, “Miss Y/N, you have to understand that the mafia holds the police force in a chokehold. We cannot intrude with anything related to the mafia.” So the only thing preventing you from going to prison is Yuta and his connections? Why does it feel so morally wrong? “And personally, even if he wants to open the case, you’ll likely be acquitted.”  

The apartment was the same as when you left it except the flowers are already wilted and it doesn’t smell like Sophie’s place anymore. The place didn’t look this huge before. You felt it when you found out that Sophie was gone. But now that you are very much alone, you realized how huge the place is. You sat on the floor, tears streaming from your face.

You just wanted everything to stop.

You wanted to disappear. 

Jaehyun’s white pills aren't doing their job. You were tired of crying and settled on taking some to sleep but there’s no effect. You cannot seem to fall asleep as voices keep ringing in your head. You took one after another but nothing is happening. You went to the kitchen to get some alcohol but there’s nothing inside the fridge. Instead of going to your room, you settled on laying in Sophie’s bed. The robe she wore the night when Yuta and Mark came unannounced was still on the bed. 

If that night didn’t happen, Sophie would still be here. 

Mark will still be here. 

If you didn’t meet Yuta, they would still be here.

You wouldn’t be this miserable. This crazy.   

How could the best thing that happened in your life make you the worst person? 

You held Sophie’s robe, crying yourself to sleep.

—--

There was a repeated knock on the door, louder each time that passed. You wanted it to stop so you covered your head with the pillow but it only grew louder that annoyed you. Pissed off, you opened the door and were face to face with a man you didn’t expect to see. “I’m sorry I was too late,” he claimed before pulling you in for a hug. You realized how much you yearn for that simple affection that you cried, holding the front of his shirt. “I’m already here. You will never be alone, Y/N.” It was the same thing as what Sophie told you. The same thing Momo had said to you, “And I brought someone you might want to see, my little kitty cat.”   

Johnny broke the hug and stepped to the side so that you are entirely in the vision of the man who abandoned you. He was standing on both feet, a look of fright on his features. “Y/N, I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I’m sorry, my daughter.” 

You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. Crying is for the weak, that was what your father would always tell you. But right now, he let you sob in his arms like a child. Because even if he left you, even if he abandoned you, you’re still your father’s daughter. It’s still him who you need the most in your life. 

Your father explained everything. He did work as a gunman and a driver for Mr. Long and Johnny confirmed what Kyoko claimed, that he was the Nakamoto group’s rival. “Mr. Nakamoto was the one who killed your mom, thinking that she was Mr. Long’s wife.” No, you don't want to believe it. “He ordered me to kill the first son to get even.” Your head was aching. You’ve heard this before but you cannot wrap your head around how your life is intertwined with Yuta’s. “I tried to leave you at the Seo’s since I know you’re safer there.” He shot Johnny a look of gratitude, “I ran away because of threats I’ve been receiving.” 

“And it all came from the Nakamoto group,” Johnny claimed, showing some papers with faint dried-up blood. “I think Mark is behind all these.” You closed your eyes, trying to make sense of it all. Mark did plan all of these. There’s no doubt that he’s that smart.    

“I didn’t know that you'd get involved with the younger Nakamoto.” Your dad stated, “If only I knew, I wouldn’t have left you alone.” 

You should have told him. Meeting him is inevitable. But falling in love with him isn't. You should have stopped yourself the first time.  

Johnny leaned in, his elbows on his knee while moving closer to you. “I don't know what you intend to do, Y/N, but let's go to Chicago. I wouldn’t associate you with the Seo’s but I’ll take care of you and your dad.” 

“Why would you do that, Johnny?” 

He smiled. The same smile he showed when he saved you back in elementary school. He really never changed except he had grown mature. “Because I’m taking back the mother title.” Your dad looked at the two of you in confusion. 

You should have run away the first time. That was what should have happened.

Why does it have to take lives to fully realize that you are not fit in his world? 

Packing was easy because of Johnny’s help. You left Sophie’s apartment and just stayed in a hotel room that Johnny booked. He would always come with you during your visits to Dr. Moon and even confirmed your observation of the one-way glass. “Are you going to say goodbye to Doctor Jung?” Johnny asked while walking in the hallways. You shook your head, you had already said goodbye to him before. “How about Yuta?” You glanced at him, "Do you really not want to see him for the last time?” 

You didn’t have that much clothes. How weird that the bag you are using is the same luggage you have when running the first time but while clearing your drawer, you saw something that might bring you to see him. 

It’s been weeks since you last came to this luxurious hotel. You don’t even know if he was here to begin with but you wished he wasn’t. You grasped for the phone and the key card as if your courage lies in it. The penthouse was quiet and you were relieved that there was no sign of someone inside. You placed the objects on top of the center table and were about to walk away when a door from one of the rooms opened. Yuta came out wiping his damp hair with a towel. He obviously looked surprised to see you and you contemplated on whether to just stand there or walk away. 

You glanced at his phone and key card on the table, grabbing it to show it to him. “I just came to return this. I didn’t know you were here.” You shove the objects his way, looking at the ground. The option to run away seemed like the best choice there is. 

He took a step forward, taking the objects from your hand. The tip of his fingers brushed against your skin that you shiver at the warmth it brought you. You really should run away. “Do you want some tea?” 

You looked up at him. His eyes showed a lot of emotions at once and you cannot pinpoint what his exact expression was. It was foreign.

This is the perfect chance to run away. So why are you nodding your head and saying yes to his invitation? 

The moment felt like deja vu. But with everything that happened in the past days, you weren’t sure if the memory was a dream or a reality. He started filling one jug with hot water as the smell of lilies filled the room. “I don’t have any chamomile but lily tea can relieve headaches.” He slipped the teacup to you before pouring one on his own.

Lily. Yuta told you to use that name if you become a hostess. Innocence. You were always described as that before falling in love with him. Where has that girl gone?

The cup was warm, smoke coming out of the small object in your hands. Your thumb fiddled with the mouth of the cup, trying to clear your mind. “I’m…”

“How…”

You both stopped, a timid smile appearing on your lips. Yuta bit his bottom lip before smiling the same way as you. He rested his elbow on the table and placed his chin on his palm as he stared at you with a lot of warmth in his eyes. Gentle, chocolate gaze. “I thought I wouldn't be able to see you smile again.” You frowned and stared at him in surprise. “Sorry,” he shook his head. “That was…” he stuttered. “Sorry, I just missed you so much.” 

You drank the tea in one shot. You hope it can magically change into alcohol and get you drunk. Maybe it would make this less painful for both of you. How can you make this goodbye less painful? “My dad came back.” He didn’t look at least a bit surprised. The sides of your lips curled up. It was weird that Johnny is suddenly here and bringing your dad back. Now, you know why. “We’re going with Johnny to Chicago.” You stared at the empty cup, avoiding his gaze. 

You don’t want to see his expression. Didn’t want to see what emotion he was going to show you. “Is that what you want?” 

What you want. What is it that you want? 

You want to be free from all of these. You want to get back to your life. You want the voices in your head to stop. You wanted your nightmares to stop being your reality. 

But, you wanted to be with Yuta. 

“Yuta…” You called. Everything was fast. He was standing in front of you, leaning in that his lips were on you. Soft, warm lips devouring yours. His hand was on the back of your head, holding you roughly. His scent and taste filled your senses. But unlike the first time you kissed, tears spring in your eyes. 

His breathing was ragged as he stared at you, “It still has the same effect when you call my name.” He placed his forehead on yours, his breath tickling your lips. “When I told you to hurt me, I meant physically. Not this, Y/N.” His hand held your cheek, “I don’t think I can ever take this pain.”     

From the close proximity, you saw how tears were forming in his eyes. Round, puppy-like, moist eyes. The third voice. “Do you remember when we drank tea in the mansion before?” His voice came in a broken whisper. “I told you that I want you to leave when in reality, I desperately want you to stay.” Yuta kneeled on the floor, holding both your hands. “Now, I want to beg you to stay.” He said in between choked sobs, tears springing from his eyes. “Knowing full well that I cannot save you. That I cannot protect you.” 

His hold on you became tighter as he bowed his head, crying. “I want to be selfish for the last time and beg you to stay.” You tried to avoid looking at him and just focused on the ceiling to prevent the tears from falling, “But I cannot risk your happiness. I don’t want to see you cry, get hurt, or have nightmares because of all of these.” 

“I’m sorry for being so weak that I cannot save you.” You shook your head. He’s everything but weak. “I’m sorry for keeping you by my side even if I cannot protect you. I only caused you pain. I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

You kept on shaking your head. He knows that’s not the case. But you cannot do this anymore. “Yuta, I’m sorry.” You cried. It’s too late to make this less painful. “I’m sorry I cannot choose you in the end.” 

He looked up to gaze at you. His face was stained with tears. If you thought you saw him at his worst then this is something out of the books. Yuta wiped your tears with his thumb, smiling warmly. “I want you to choose yourself this time.” 

“Promise me you’ll be happy, Y/N.” You nodded before he pulled you into a warm hug. His hand rested on the back of your head, the other on your back. He held you tight as you only wished the time to stop ticking. Yuta let go of the hug and then stood up, turning around from you. “You should take your leave. It’s late.” 

Slowly, you stood up from your chair. “Goodbye, Yuta.” 

“Goodbye, Y/N.” 

He didn’t turn around and you grasped your chest as you made your way out of his kitchen and into the hallway of his penthouse. You were holding the door handle when you heard sobbing coming from inside. The cries got louder that you quickly pulled the handle and closed the door behind you. 

It was the longest elevator ride. Your eyes hurt from too much crying. Your hands shake as Yuta’s warmth can be felt as if it was imprinted on your skin. Your heart hurts so much that you wanted to take it out and just throw it away. When the door opened, Johnny and Jaehyun were both staring at you with question and worry on their faces. You stepped forward and Johnny was quick enough to wrap you in his arms, gently rubbing your back as he let you cry. 

You glanced at Jaehyun and he just tapped the top of your head. “Can you check on him?” You asked in between sobs. “He was crying so much it hurts.” 

“You’re the real deal, baby.” Jaehyun teased, “Making the almighty mafia boss cry.” You cried much more and heard Johnny hiss at the other man. “What floor is Yuta’s room?” You cried louder.   

You didn’t think you could cry that much. You thought the last time you can cry that extreme is when Sophie died. You’re dead wrong about that. 

When they said breaking up is painful, they indeed are correct. Saying goodbye is hard but telling the one you love goodbye is the hardest of all. Sometimes you wonder if this was all worth it. Maybe you should get back with Yuta to lessen this pain. But for how long? Will you risk it if you’ll end up getting crazy in the head? And if you find yourself killing Jaehyun, Momo, and even Yuta, can you bear living at all? 

Maybe this misery is payment for all the innocent lives you took away. 

The airport was the same as when you last came here. It was bustling with the fast-paced crowd. You stared at the plane ticket in your hand, a ticket heading to Chicago. This is it. This is your last chance to stay. Your last chance to choose what your heart really wants. You can run away and leave everything or stay and face all the demons there are. 

You felt your phone vibrate, Jaehyun’s number can be seen on the caller ID. “Are you boarding?” 

You lightly glanced at the digitized board and saw that you have almost less than an hour before your flight departs. “Not yet.” 

There was a sigh of relief from the other line. “Wait for Yuta. He’s on his way to see you.” 

“What?” you exclaimed, standing up in surprise which startled both Johnny and your dad. “Why is he coming here?” 

Jaehyun chuckled, “Although he let you go, he wants your last memory of him to be the cool one and not that pathetic crying loser.” You giggled although tears were streaming from your eyes. How stupid. “Just let him hug you this last time.” You nodded although he cannot see you. He ended the call, reasoning that someone is calling him on the other line. 

Johnny mouthed ‘Are you alright?’ and you nodded, smiling while you wipe your tears. You didn’t know that you’ll cry in happiness. You thought all your tears are for your misery now. Yuta really does wonders for you. The taller guy gave you a heartwarming smile, “I’m glad to see you smiling again, Y/N.” He ruffled the top of your head. “Let’s wait for your prince to come.” 

You nodded, hastily wiping the streaming tears. You wanted Yuta to see you smiling when he gets here. 

The minutes passing felt agonizing. You kept on tapping your foot, knees shaking in anticipation. You wanted to see Yuta already, wanted to hug him for the last time. 

“Passengers boarding flight 0209 heading to Chicago…” The PA from the speakers can be heard that made your friend look at you in worry. Your father went in first but he stayed to accompany you. The last call was made and you gave up. Maybe meeting Yuta is already impossible. 

Before you could stand up for boarding, your phone vibrated. Excitedly, you opened Jaehyun’s call but there was an obvious distress in his voice when he called your name. Your heart kept on thumping hard in your chest. Why is he breathing so hard? “Yuta and Momo wanted to see you.” he claimed, voice shaking. “They were in a hurry that they’re speeding.” This doesn’t sound good. “The car fell on a cliff.” No, it can’t be. “It exploded.” 

You grasped your phone tight.

This is all a dream, a nightmare. You should have taken the white pills Jaehyun kept on giving you before coming here.

The tears fell from your eyes and Johnny held your shoulder.

Why does he feel warm if this was all a dream? Why is your palm hurting from holding your phone tight? 

Why does your heart hurt at what Jaehyun said next? 

Your nightmares are indeed your reality. 

“Y/N,” Jaehyun called in between choked sobs.

“Yuta and Momo are dead.”  

Chapter Sixteen (Final)

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nct yuta #nct yuta nakamoto #yuta angst #yuta nakamoto angst #mafia yuta #polarity #mafia yuta nakamoto