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I deleted my Moira blog. I feel much better about it tbh. I wish I could still hold onto it, but it's just too hard. My life has changed a lot in three years. My birthday is tomorrow, and I'm realizing that it's my first con without my primary partner and the person who was my best friend most of the entire time I've been in Nebraska.

It's okay though. I'm still recovering from the trauma of being assaulted and going through the court martial where my assailant walked free. I feel like I'm alone and grasping at straws, desperate for that negative attention I got from his partner, the only friend I thought I had. But I don't need that. And I don't need to have her unblocked, thinking that she will message me to talk about what SHE did to me. I can let that go. Because holding on, waiting for it...it won't happen.

She burned her ex best friend in a similar way. Why I thought I was immune I will never understand. But I can make friends without her. I can go to places we went without her. I can laugh. I can smile. I can find someone new to share that kind of intimacy with. I'm so glad that I can forget about her now. She deleted all traces of me. I can do the same for her

It will always hurt. I will probably always love her. But I do not have to be chained by that. Abuse comes in many forms, and this time, it wasnt a hideous giant, towering over me. It was a beautiful, ethereal elf, manipulating people with charm.

For those of you she's going to burn next: I'm sorry you're going through that. But I'll be here to help you pick up those pieces. I've been there, now twice. I support you. I believe you. And I'm sorry I couldn't keep it from happening.

#personalgrowth #toxic love #toxic relationship #self healing #self discovery #self love #forgive my rambling

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It's really interesting hearing how people act behind closed doors. It's even more interesting learning I'm not the actual problem, I'm just surrounded by fucking two-faced bitches. 🤷 I just don't understand why people pretend to want to be my friend or pretend to care about me at all. What's the point in lying about it? Why invite me to things if you're going to ditch me while I'm there with you, or have me rearrange my work schedule to go to a thing and then completely fucking ditch me and have me find out another way?

It costs $0 to be a decent person and to communicate. It's not hard to just admit you're a fucking shitlord that thrives on being a victim and being the center of fucking attention. And I'm a total fucking idiot for thinking you actually cared about me in the first place. The second someone comes around who doesn't know how you are, you jump ship and turn them against me. If the shoe fits the shoe fits. I'm done trying to be an adult about all of this.

Everything isn't all about you and your fucking feelings. Or your career. Or how people think of you. You can try and fucking cover up how shitty you are, but you can't completely silence my voice. So many secrets I've told you that you use against me. So many things you take for granted because I've never backstabbed you to other people. There's a lot fucking more I could say but it wouldn't change a goddamn thing.

I wish I could live in that kind of selfish bliss.

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me bathing my dog: ohhhhh does she like the water!!! is it waaarrrm!!! ooooo shes gonna be so cleeeaaaan shes a clean little goorrrl gonna smell so goooood!!!!!

my dog in the tub looking like a sad wet rat:

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I need to utilize this platform more for writing I stg

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Connor: Relaxing makes me nervous. It feels like I’m missing something.

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Oof

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Oh my God this is why I love this skin.

Same Morgana same

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Oh my God

It's me I'm Eve

evelynn: if only there were somewhere i could sit

ahri: eve there are three chairs over here

evelynn, kicking the chairs over: i wonder where i could sit

kai'sa:

kai'sa: [sighs and motions towards her lap]

evelynn, sitting on kai'sa’s lap: i knew you’d catch on

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Headcanon

Not sure where this came from, or why it’s so long, but I guess it exists now. Make of it what you will

-Joanna, since she was young, has called horses “hornless unicorns”.

-While Leonard thought it was cute, he always worried about Joanna being picked on for it. (Jocelyn hated it from the start, and Leonard’s refusal to correct Joanna on her miss-naming of horses was often the topic of arguments between them)

-When ever he would ask Joanna why she insisted on calling them that, she would just smile sweetly, and say “Because, daddy.” Leonard eventually resigned himself to the fact he would probably never know.

-Instead, he would take her on father-daughter day trips to see horses/hornless unicorns, and would even buy her little plastic replicas as souvenirs when she was having a rough time.

-Years later, when Leonard was unpacking his bag in his new room at Starfleet, the day after the divorce was finalized, he found Joanna’s favourite plastic pony (the one he had gifted her for her birthday five years before, that she carried around with her everywhere.) wrapped in one of his shirts. With it was a note reading “hornless unicorns may look like regular horses, but they’re still unicorns”.

-He cried.

-It became his good luck charm, and Leonard even found himself starting to refer to it as a hornless unicorn, rather than a horse, in his head.

——Bonus—

-Early on in their friendship (after a rough shift at the hospital), Leonard accidentally used the phrase “hornless unicorn” out loud during a conversation with Jim. He expected Jim to laugh or make fun of him, maybe even never talk to him again, but instead Jim just got a really concentrated look on his face and said “I’d always thought of them as more like “wingless Pegasus” myself, but that works too, I guess.”

-And that was when Leonard McCoy knew he had a true friend.

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Cuisle Mo Chroidhe.

Every so often, I get a tug at my heart, sometimes subtle, sometimes painfully intense. I do my best to ignore it because it brings me nothing but bitterness and pain. Acknowledging the holes in my heart where people used to lay nestled within vena cava, lulled to sleep by the sound of the fluttering they elicited, like baby birds tapping on trees or a gentle rain against your window; now empty and hollow, melancholy blue and arctic cold filling the spaces. Uncertain that you’ll be back, I try and wait but sometimes I can’t. I have to know, I have to see where you may have gone, if I can hear your voice again or smell your perfume or touch your hand or hold you in a tight hug, both of us bare and raw and vulnerable in a dimly lit room on a threadbare couch, tears tracking down our made-up faces and we aren’t sure if it’s from laughter or pain anymore. I feel like a creep as I look through the windows of other people’s lives, trying desperately to catch a glimpse of what I hope is your happiness. I want to see you doing well. I want to see you thrive. I want to see you smile, and laugh and live the life you’ve always dreamed of and worked hard for. I remember how we used to sit up late and talk about whatever we could, not wanting to fall asleep, making excuses for more time: another post to share, another cup of coffee we wouldn’t touch, another game. 

We never realized how little of it we really had. I still find your hair tangled in my clothes, my blankets. I still stumble onto your things, and it reminds me how uncertain it is you’ll walk through the front door, sit down on the couch and laugh as if nothing had happened at all. I sometimes will hear snippets of your voice in memories, all stored in the cloud and ready to rain down on me, like a summer monsoon. My voice catches in my throat, my chest tightens and I feel like I’m drowning in the way you spoke, your soft, gentle words like warm water that smells like lavender and rose and soft white jasmine tea. 

Maybe one day the pain will fade, the ache of solitude will disappear and I’ll wonder what it was that made me feel like my world was crashing down around my ears. I’ll fondly remember your voice, the way you walked, the way you looked at me. I won’t feel like a wraith, bitter and angry and so frightfully sad as I watch my life pass me by as I float in the ocean I cried.  I won’t feel the need to wait by my phone, waiting for you to call. I won’t feel the need to avoid our friends or the places we used to go together. I won’t wake up, tears staining my pillow and gasping from the dream I had where you woke me up with a gentle touch and smiled that soft, warm smile and I felt my heart swell, until I reached out to touch you and you disappeared. But for now, I sit alone, pathetic in my attempts to drown my feelings with work, games, drinks; medicating my already fragile brain. Do I really want to forget and move on as if nothing had really happened? Or do I want to lose myself in memories until there’s nothing left but a walking corpse imitating me?

 I will always love you. I will probably always miss you. I hope to whatever gods there may be that you maybe miss me too. That you will forgive me for what I may have done or didn’t do. That the next time I see you, you are happy. 

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Please kill me 😂

Peak Comedy

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But who will show us da wae? (Twitter)

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I wrote an article for @sinistergames_ig about #hellbladesenuassacrifice and the impact it had on the gaming world. Come check it out! #senua #valravyn #psychosisawareness https://www.instagram.com/p/BniHZuzgTfG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ue04vvjr71kh

#hellbladesenuassacrifice #senua #valravyn #psychosisawareness

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Detroit: Become Human | Connor

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Hank just adopted thw android sent by cyberlife

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I saw this vine and couldn’t resist