zsphoenix

[zsphoenix]

I miss talking shit with people.

:((

[zsphoenix]

Why do half naked people make me so h*rny?

Idk, but my my partner's naked legs sure are a turn on.

#morg's awkward personal

[zsphoenix]

Absolutely insane to me that during the Battle of Hogwarts Draco goes missing without leave, against Voldemort's orders, and both his mother and Voldemort himself immediately assume that he's gone to find Harry Potter.

And they're right.

Narcissa asks Harry if Draco is alive because she assumes Harry will have seen him.

And Voldemort suggests to Lucius that Draco has left to befriend Harry Potter and sounds indifferent but thoroughly unconvinced when Lucius tries to say Draco would never do that.

(Lucius probably mentally flashes back to how Draco spent the entire summer after first year talking nonstop about Harry Potter like 😬 😬 😬)

You know the drarry is blatant when even Lord Voldemort notices it.

He missed Snape's lifelong love for Lily but as soon as Draco went missing he was like 'bet he's with Harry Potter.' Absolutely wild. Of course he's also got a mental connection to Harry. So maybe being exposed to 7 years worth of Harry's thoughts and opinions about Draco's appearance, mood, and actions finally clued him into the fact that maybe something was up.

This ship is accidentally so canon.

[zsphoenix]

Sorting Hat: So do you want fluffy best friends to lovers drarry or--

Harry: Not Slytherin.

Sorting Hat: Enemies to lovers 7 year slowburn it is.

[zsphoenix]

[zsphoenix]

Things fanfic is reputed for inserting into the source material:

Sex

Things fanfic actually inserts into the source material:

Sex

Holding hands

Bizarre misunderstandings

Meticulous descriptions of food and clothing

The author’s unaddressed traumas

Found family

Plausible explanations for existing plot holes

Additional plot holes

Exciting new frontiers in speculative physics, economics, chemistry, biology, zoology, psychology, theology, and/or ontology

Tax evasion

Gender

Very bad puns

[zsphoenix]

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

[zsphoenix]

You know what really fucking Annoys Me about internet censorship is stuff like swear words being heavily censored because that's entirely an American cultural hangup being forced on the rest of us. I don't know a single country where swearing is as taboo as it is in America. In fact most languages have swear words that would have the same effect on an American as giving a Victorian chimney sweep a pepsi max cherry.

[zsphoenix]

[zsphoenix]

Its me, your feral godmother

[zsphoenix]

This is literally my favorite tweet of all time. It’s so powerful.

She Freaken Forgor Me

[zsphoenix]

[zsphoenix]

For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3

[zsphoenix]

Flooflers

[zsphoenix]

Being in a long-term fandom really makes me wish we had like, Fandom Supreme Courts, just so that every time the same stupid discourse rears its ugly head for the umpteenth time in ten years, we can just be like, “Actually this argument was settled in the 2006 Fandom Supreme Court ruling in the case of AngelPotter vs. Xx_goth1c-r0se_xX, so everbody can shut up about it now.” Imagine the wank reduction.

[zsphoenix]

congrats to everyone who got to see the eclipse today. this is approximately the one millionth cool space event that ive been unable to witness due to the weather 🙃

[zsphoenix]

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives