zuubaida

[zuubaida]

My father could not love, but he believed he could, and that must be enough, because perhaps half the world feels that way. He believed he loved me, but I could tell him how untrue that was, I could list for him the number of times he had placed me squarely within the jaws of death; I could list for him the number of times he had failed to be a father to me, his only daughter, while on his way to becoming a man of this world. He loved, he loved; he loved himself. It is perhaps the way of all men.

[zuubaida]

And I still look for it again,

from city to city,

coast to coast,

in each second of my being,

in each breath I take,

but nothing may change the fact,

that in this life you were my only gain.

[zuubaida]

Half love, half regret, dressing up for polaroids and cigarettes

[zuubaida]

i thought about us today, how we were made for each other by the hands of God. In tune with eachother, in sync always. Yet so tragically distant, our individual lives at different paces. Isnt it tragic? How i cant see you of even hear you.

isnt it all so tragic.

[zuubaida]

I tried so hard to live without you.

[zuubaida]

I am trying my best to not become a museum of myself. I am doing my best to breathe in and out…I am begging. Let me be lonely-but not invisible.

[zuubaida]

you and i

Surely you and i are beyond speaking,

even with this trembling screaming pain in my head,

my mind only wants to speak of you,

It wants to think of all the plans we made,

the chai cup with books that speak volumes,

and our hands in eachothers’,

Our words clearly not enough-

just our souls…our eyes. -zuubaida

[zuubaida]

In Wonderland.

In a morning's haze, where thoughts were spun, Empty smiles lingered, inviting everyone. Up in the clouds, a mind in flight, Lost in a rabbit hole, chasing the light.

Alice, oh Alice, heart and soul so keen, Into the unknown, where dreams convene. Yet, Wonderland was but a crafted veneer, A tale spun to cope, to quiet the fear.

Through the hours, she stared at the ceiling's embrace, A mind's escape, a journey through space. Like the Cheshire Cat, shadows dissolve, In the echoes of thoughts, her mysteries evolve.

Oh, Alice, where sanity takes a toll, A crafted Wonderland, a narrative's scroll. Madder than the Hatter, in her own design, A poetic dance, where realities entwine,

in wonderland.

[zuubaida]

Siren.

In memories etched, the harm we bear,

Banished mothers, in flames they share.

Sisters' lives, abused and snuffed,

By sword-wielding judgments, cruel and rough.

Women rise, fighting for their right,

At the forefront, where strength ignites.

No more silence, politeness cast aside,

Legs shimmer in scales, a powerful stride.

Tender skin adorned with strength,

Nurture the men, lift them from the trench.

Resources stolen, lands laid bare,

Feminine power belittled, unfair. 

Milk from rivers, in the moon's embrace,

Cradles like a womb, a comforting space.

Soul burial in coves bathed in light,

Ego and pride, dipped in celestial night.

No qualms in havoc's touch, waters in turmoil and red,

Sirens' nectar toasts defiance, silence they foil unsaid,

In the tide of justice, wear the crown,

Let them drown, let them drown.

#darkacademism #dark shadows #dark #dark academia #dark aesthetic #dark grunge #darkness #dark poetry #poetry #dark acadamia aesthetic #siren #siren says #sirencore #sleeping with sirens #kindred #vampire the masquerade #dark fantasy #dark art #dark urge #creepy #eerie

[zuubaida]

I wish

I wish I could speak the way I thought,

With passion. With love. With absolute power. with obsession. With essence. With grace.

I wish I could speak the way I thought, with my father holding his calloused hands on my mouth and my mother aiming a knife at me, even still i wish I could speak the way I thought. Maybe even with aggression rather than meekness. I wish it was that easy, as easy as Shakespeare made it to be “to be or not to be”. I wish I could speak the way I thought.

#poetry #dark academia #dark aesthetic #dark shadows #darkacademism #dark acadamia aesthetic #dark #dark poetry #dark grunge #darkness

[zuubaida]

He tells me in red.

He tells me in red that i look the best, 

That i feel the best, 

In red is where my blood curdling screams wipe out, 

In red is where the blood moon stays up, 

In red is where he washes my wounds with more blood, 

In red is where I sit and swoon in his arms, 

In red is where the knives feel good, 

In red is what my eyes glower in, 

He tells me in red that I look the best, 

In red that I feel the best. -Zuubaida

#darkacademism #dark academia #dark aesthetic #dark shadows #poetry #red aesthetic #bloodmoon fanart #red moon #art #dark acadamia aesthetic #vintage aesthetic #dark grunge #matt murdock x reader #dark poetry #alone in the dark #dark art #dark #the dark knight #dark fantasy #darkness #eerie #creepy #him #i love him #i miss him #i need him #look at him #love metal #daredevil #rabbit hole

[zuubaida]

The day i lived.

The first time i ever wrote a poem,

it was this concoction which made me feel,

things i had never. at the ripe of age of 13 it was obvious. I could only give my life to books. And one day- the day i wrote. I knew i wrote my life to writing. and my soul to creating. i might never be able to feel real life because of my love for creating a world, a world unknown to others but just me. Finally, i feel like im feeling.

[zuubaida]

I've realised something recently.

I only like watching shows where I get to see a girl's life together, where everything else is just perfect, an ultimate Barbie life.

Because there's something about lives like that, a life I'd like to have, an escape where I know I won't be anxious every second. A life where everything doesn't mean certain death to me in my head.

[zuubaida]

Lately I’ve been having this dream. Where i just fall into space and disappear and somehow i want that.

#dark

[zuubaida]

I don't know how to explain but there's a feeling of emptiness again... everything feels whole but there's something missing, a person, a place, a thing....god knows.

#darkacademism #dark academia #dark aesthetic #dark shadows #poesia #dead poets society #sad boi hours #dark #emotions #poetry

[zuubaida]

Feet don't fail me now, I got to stand my ground :⁠^⁠)

#darkacademism #poetry #dark academia #dark aesthetic #dark shadows #poesia #dead poets society #sad boi hours #dark #emotions

[zuubaida]

Picnics in fall.

#darkacademism #poetry #dark academia #dark aesthetic #dark shadows #poesia #dead poets society #sad boi hours #dark #emotions #sunkissed #new year