#falsettos has me sobbing every time

[falsettos-tight-knit-family]

30 Falsettos Challenge in 2 Days (Part 2)

16) A Character You'd Want To Date: Whizzer. No questions asked. Next-

17) A Character You Want To Get To Know Better: As I said before, I'd love to know more about Charlotte as a character because I love the lesbians and I feel like even Cordelia got more fleshing out than she did.

18) Best Decision Someone Made In The Musical: Jason choosing to have his Bar Mitzvah in Whizzer's hospital room is something that still emotionally pains me every time I hear that song tbh

19) One Character You'd Want To Sing With: I'd take either part in any Whizzvin duet, especially if we're talking about Christian and Andrew's versions, they both have such good voices to harmonize with.

20) Favorite Cast Member: Andrew Rannells. I became immediately obsessed with other stuff he's done (I want to watch Black Monday and The New Normal so bad, but my family doesn't have Amazon Prime). Only when I watched the Thanksgiving side by side did I realize that the entire cast is incredibly chaotic in the best of ways and has such good chemistry together.

21) To Try To Convince Someone To Watch Falsettos, What Would You Show Them? I've already done this twice with my friends, the first thing I show them is a very specific compilation on youtube (Falsettos Act 1 Moments That Make Me Scream), because it's the same way I got into Falsettos to begin with

22) Which Act Did You Prefer? In terms of just music, probably Act 1 because I always lean towards more upbeat songs and it has less of a chance to make me burst out crying while watching/listening to it. But in terms of which I'd rather watch, I'd for sure say Act 2. The lesbians are there, you get to see Marvin and Whizzer get back together along with all of his and everyone else's character development, the story is absolutely heartbreaking, and I could go on-

23) Something That Makes You Passionately Rant: There's so many details between Unlikely Lovers through the end of What Would I Do that I feel the need to rant about. This is all stream of consciousness written at 2 am, so fair warning and I hope it all makes some kind of sense. So I talked briefly about Unlikely Lovers in another question, but ever since I saw someone point out how one of the reasons Whizzer probably wanted Marvin to go home was because he didn't want Marvin to have to wake up next to him if he died in his sleep, which I believe is true and the implication that he would rather spend what is hypothetically his last night alone, than for Marvin to have to go through that hurts me so bad- I already talked about the Cordelia part, but I will bring it up again because it is literally the first time we see her sad and it needs to be acknowledged more often. Jason praying to God and asking him for something for what appears to be the first time ("I don't think we've ever really spoken"). He doesn't know if God exists, but he's praying and hoping that if He does, He can somehow help Whizzer. In the Something Bad Reprise, when Charlotte says the line about AIDS being infectious, it feels like there's hardly a reaction on Marvin's end. As if he's already lost so much in the few weeks since learning Whizzer had it, that he's either numb/not surprised anymore or just doesn't care as much if he lives or dies if Whizzer will be gone by then anyway. I don't think there's much to be pointed out about You Gotta Die Sometime, but I do want to bring up how the end of that song immediately transitions into Jason's Bar Mitzvah. Whizzer finally let himself feel scared and just had an emotional breakdown over accepting the fact that he's about to die. He was sobbing by the time the transition happened and it's still noticeable as Jason starts singing. He's terrified that he's going to die, and now everyone he cares about is suddenly here. In his hospital room. All together here to celebrate one of the most important days in Jason's life, with Whizzer, who just two years ago was only known as Marvin's male lover. The one who broke up the family. Now he was part of the family, the one bringing them all together. Again, What Would I Do is just depressing even on surface level. I know everyone says they cry over "We're just gonna skip that stage" and i understand that, I'm much more emotionally damaged by Marvin's "I'd do it again. I'd like to believe that I'd do it again and again and again" which aside from showing how much he's grown since the beginning, he's not only saying he'd go through all that drama and heartache just to be with Whizzer every single time, but he also knows at this point that he is also most likely going to die directly because he was involved with Whizzer. And still, he'd do it all again for him (As I write this I am not okay-). Oh and also, in Days Like This, right before the song starts, Marvin very clearly puts on a fake smile to try and make Whizzer feel better and it really does need to be appreciated more-

24) A Character From Another Musical You'd Like To See In Falsettos: After that essay of pure sadness, I'm gonna go for the funny route and say Elder Price, not for anything story or even character related (because idk enough about the story or characters of BoM), but purely because it's Andrew Rannells² and I think the reactions to someone who looks just like Whizzer would be funny

25) A Character You Can Identify With: As much as I'd love to say Whizzer (and I do identify with him to an extent), it has to be Cordelia. Her general aura of happiness and energy, being the only one entertained by Marvin during The Baseball Game, and awkwardly laughing at Mendel's bad jokes, all are things I heavily relate to-

26) Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship: Whizzer and Jason's stepfather-son bond. I love them so so much, I wholeheartedly think that he was Jason's best dad of the 3. He came to his baseball game, despite being broken up with his father for 2 years and even when not part of the family, made it clear to everyone that he loves Jason ("I love baseball. I love Jason" "I love Jason, but this is not his venue"). He was the one who stood up and taught him how to swing the bat correctly and supported him fully, even though he knew as well as anyone that Jason wasn't great at the game. I will never be over this

--- 27) Favorite Quote/One Part Of A Song: Well the "kill your mother" line is taken from earlier so I'll say during Everyone Tells Jason To See a Psychiatrist, from when they introduced Whizzer like a Heather and through to the end of the song. The dramatic entrance, the head flick, Whizzer’s excited smile when Jason says he’ll go, Marvin mocking Trina’s hand movements during “they don’t make house calls” it’s all great

28) Something A Character Did That Pissed You Off: Marvin hitting Trina would be too obvious and the Chess Game was a metaphor, but Marvin in This Had Better Come to a Stop when he says Whizzer should "Always be here, making dinner, set to screw" and just being generally hypocritical (ex. "Whizzer screws too much to see what a joy's monogamy" sir you cheated on your wife and want to have both her and Whizzer at the same time. Idc if it's not sexual, it sure as hell isn't traditional monogamy)

29) A Photo/Edit/Manip That Makes You Happy: Here’s a couple of many behind the scenes pictures that make me smile (yes one is technically a gif)

Can you tell I love Andrew Rannells?

30) Something Else About The Musical You Want To Add (Wildcard): You know what I'm gonna simp in the wildcard- The way Andrew says a couple of his lines, specifically in the proshot, are randomly very attractive to me. I specifically mean "Hang up your clothes Marvin, breeding shows, Marvin" in TTOFL and "Sex and games in New York City" in A Day In Falsettoland. Also, idk if this is simp worthy or not, but the higher harmonies Christian hits in some of the songs (ex. Unlikely Lovers) are so pretty and super satisfying to listen to

#falsettos #falsettos challenge #Whizzer brown #Marvin gardens #trina weisenbachfeld #mendel weisenbachfeld #jason weisenbachfeld #charlotte dubois #cordelia falsettos

[wh1zz3rbr0wn]

me ranting on the marvin triolgy i unironically love the marvin trilogy so much?? in trousers makes no sense. esp the end song/ begginning depends on what like version ur listening too. i heard this theory that in trousers is actually marvin being hypnotised by mendle in therapy and it would make sense!! like it'd explain the inaccuracies between it and falsettos. Like Trina having two kids, as mentioned in your lips and me, 'the oldest drink wine the baby's wailing', while in falsettos Jason is the only child known. And in you gotta die sometime when whizzer says i dont smoke but in whizzer going down marvin says 'he takes me in his arms and he lights *another* cigarette.' Then i love how they re used im breaking down from in trousers and using it in the 2016 revival of it. imo it fits better in falsettos because you go more in depth about both trina and whizzer charaters. In trousers musicals actually is so bloody good??? like every song is great, my favourite song is marvin's giddy seizures. It highlights marvin's suicidal attempts and how it doesn't get noticed unless he acts out., then the whole thing just sounds so good. i wish the lesbians got more screen time though because theyre so radicial. every scene they're in they just light the stage up. I love how all the charaters are wrote. I would like to know if in high school ladies at 5 o'clock/ the r--e of mrs goldurg. are we meant to take that literally? im assuming we are because marvin says something along the lines of for my 14th birthday i was hoping you could show me the wonders of the bed. i think we would be, and if we are what the fuck? like i know marvin is an incredibly abusive person before about time but jesus christ. i didnt expect that. now i do adore that marvin's abusive behaviours are acknowledged and reprimanded unlike another musical that attempts to do something alike to falsettos, rent, where all characters have abusive behaviours. i wont dwell on the failures of rent too much because this isn't about rent. I have saw that 2004 college production amd i find it hilarious that in the thrill of first love that marvin drops whizzer, i hope that was scripted because that seems like such a Marvin behaviour. at the same time it would also be funny if it wasnt. either way i like it. anyway in marvin at the physiatrist, in the og off brodway cast, mendle says its queer mr marvin which is so funny to me. on the topic of the og off brodway cast, i find it fun how chip zien played both marvin and mendle in in trousers and march of the falsettos/falsettoland. marvin in in trousers and mendle in MotF/falsettoland respectably. I genuinely adore everything about falsettos. the openeing number is such a good opening song, i dont think ive heard a better one. Then my father's a homo always makes me laugh and i just love how jason doesn't hate his father for being gay, its how his homosexuality tore the family apart. Then this had better come to a stop is such agood number. i love how in the og of brodway run of it the late again sounds like yapping. then the way that trina and whizzer sort of bond over marvin's abusive tendencies is heartbreaking. A tight knit family reprise is a great song again. then the chess game, marvin my guy you know you agreed to let whizzer win cmon now. i never wanted to love you is heartbreaking. and the games i play makes me violently sob. march of the falsettos made no sense to me until i realised that it was a song to remind you that acts of affection are NOT masculine at all. i honestly dont get why act one didnt end with i never wanted to love you, but father to son is heartwarming compared to the previous songs. i love the second act so much. marvin has done everything to change himself yet the love of his life is stripped away from him. it is like a reminder that due to his past actions he can never like fully be a good person. he changed. he did im not putting that down, but his actions can always haunt him.

#falsettos #in trousers #just ranting #long rant #rant #musicals #the marvin trilogy

[noahkahanbrainrot]

We'll All Be Here Forever review

I feel like I need to talk about this, and now that it's been out for almost a month I have to.

This deluxe both crushed my soul and made it whole in ways I wish I could explain. The songs made me feel heard about things in the deepest corners of my mind, and made me feel so much less alone in daily struggles.

I'm gonna break down my opinions of every song from the deluxe that wasn't included on the original Stick Season.

Your Needs, My Needs - This song broke my heart. "Who was I to watch you wilt?" is one of the most beautiful lyrics I think I have ever heard. Once it gets to the "Zoloft, Subtle Change" I absolutely lose it. The vocals are beautiful and the lyrics are superb.

Dial Drunk- A BOP. First off I feel like this is the stay toxic anthem of the year. From start to finish it is SO catchy! The chorus hits home too. "I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown, in the name of someone I no longer know." Like, I feel that. The bridge also is so well written, the story telling is incredible and it's easy to dance alone in the kitchen to.

Paul Revere - While it's hard to rank the songs. This may be my favorite of the deluxe songs. The story of the ghost of a hometown, saying you're "not from around here." Leaving so early in the morning you're not seen, but still having your heart in the place you once called home. It hits me right in the chest, because it's the same feelings I have when I go back to my hometown. It feels like a shell but it's still home. I don't feel like I'm from there anymore, but my heart is still there to an extent. The sound of this song is also so nice, it's so soothing, it conveys the emotions beautifully. "If I could leave I would've already left" made me sob the first time I heard it.

No Complaints- This is my sobbing anthem. i genuinely cannot handle the outpouring of emotions, this song is beautiful. A work of art. "Now the weight of the world aint so bad" is a quote I need tattooed. Also, as someone who just got back on medicine for my mental health, "fill the hole in my head with prescription medication" really hit how i've been feeling about that. The tempo is perfect, the build ups are beautiful, and the lyrics are so expressive. Also, his vocals on this track absolutely melt me. Yes Noah, please.

Call Your Mom - I'm getting a tattoo of a quote of this song next week, so I feel a little bias. This song made me feel so heard. It made me feel so much less alone. "All lights turned off can be turned on," absolutely made me feel like I was going to be okay. It is so hard to explain how it feels to be in a mental health low/crisis. But I feel like this song captures it perfectly. I'm getting "Give yourself a reason" tattooed because it helped me realize that it's my responsibility to get myself better, and that's okay.

You're Gonna Go Far - I absolutely love this song. I love the POV of support for someone bettering themselves by leaving. Once again I think Noah's voice is absolutely incredible in this one, the Falsetto in this is absolutely heavenly. "We'll all be here forever, sure will." I love that. "Who the hell likes living just to die" also hits because sometimes it feels like that's all I do, and it reminds me to get out there!

TVBTV(Extended) - When I tell you I ugly cried. I lost it once it hit the voice overs. I was so not okay, sitting in my living room just bawling. The last lines he added to the song I feel like made it. I was obsessed and have listened to it probably 500 times since the release. It absolutely melts me.

Over all I loved this release, I genuinely felt like it was worth the wait. Noah continues to bring beautiful songs of absolutely incredible quality. I cannot wait to see what he does next, and will be enjoying every single song he has until then!

Noah Kahan Complete Spotify Playlist

Noah Kahan Discord Server

#Noah Kahan #Noah Kahan Review #stick season #well all be here forever #Kahan #folk music #music

[petrichorpetals]

I'm being very sane and normal about the Ten album I swear. I might have listened to the album 176 times already but that's besides the point.

Ten's about to be my most streamed artist by the end of the year tbh. I'm SOBBING I didn't have money for preorder but I'm getting my little goblin hands on both versions of his album as soon as I can. I need king of the ult table's photocard if it kills me. I've gotten my hands on two WayV albums and Xiaojun I love you, you're secondary bias, but I need my boy.

(Okay to be fair I did pull a Ten in On My Youth but it was the Polaroid and I can't put that in my phone case.)

Not excited over the styling tho. The light on version is giving far too much Kai for me to be convinced it's Ten's flavor and I'm not a fan of the stylings they had him in for Nightwalker. Like the thumbnail image of him with no eyebrows???? I know SM hates him but genuinely why.

It's not like they don't know how to style him??? Was his normal stylist out of town for this promotion or something? Like we're just back to 'Baby Don't Stop' Ten again and while I'm not opposed, it was far from his best look. 😕 'Birthday' Ten slapped so hard and tbh that song should have been promoted on this mini album as the title track but that's besides the point.

Honestly while I didn't hate Nightwalker at first it ranked really low for me overall but it's deffo grown on me. I should know by now not to doubt WayV. 😅 I was making fun of the slight falsetto from On My Youth and was SO convinced it ruined the song on my first listen. I have far too many streams of that song now in both versions. Same thing with Low Low and Kick Back tbh.

I think it's just the Ten effect. Boy opens his mouth and I listen. 😂 He's up to 103 songs that he's participated in and it doesn't matter what I'm doing, my brain is hyper-focused every time he opens mouth.

It's still funny to be that getting into WayV at first, Ten wasn't even the one I was focused on. It was Lucas at first bc my friend biased him, then Xiaojun took my attention, and finally Ten decided to get the wrecking ball to my brain.

I'm not even normally one for dance line either because I'm a whore for vocalists, but Ten is the only person I'll actively go out of my way to watch dance practice videos for. (Besides ateez but that was plot related) Like I already mentioned Birthday but the amount of views I have on both the MV and dance practice alone is too many to count. Ten just moves like water and has masterful control over his body and UGH IT'S SO GOOD. Have I gone out of my way to watch each and every video I can find of Ten dancing? Maybe.

Tbh I think the only person that can compete with Ten for my attention dance wise is The8 from Seventeen. I just really desperately want those two to collab. Like I know you two know each other, you were on the same show at one point and you share the dreamies on the weekend. Minghao is literally besties with Winwin please I need this for my mental health. I'll even take Jun too at this point, please Ten I'm begging! 😭 Am I still on my WayV and Seventeen agenda maybe.

#aquila be quiet no one cares #ten #wayv #kpop more like aquila shut up #god I knew I loved Ten but actually having just his songs to stream and not just three songs with instrumental is heaven #as soon as Ten said the words whisper-like song I was so fucking sold #my fiance hates those types of songs but I fucking ADORE them #nct

[missroserose]

Whumptober Day 8: Back From The Dead

“Dean.”  The car is moving, but it’s not Dean driving.  Cas is in the passenger’s seat, which means it must be their mom (their mom) driving, worry in the set of her shoulders and the way she’s practically drifting around corners, accelerating onto the highway with frankly terrifying speed (guess Dean must get it from somewhere—)

Dean is here.  Alive and warm, denim-clad legs solid beneath Sam’s bruised shoulders.  Sam clings to him, and for a moment the backseat of the car feels gigantic, as if he’s six years old again, the bench seat as good as a bed in a motel.  He’d thought his brother was dead—and now Dean is back, and their mother (their mother) and Cas is back too, and his foot aches and he’s shivering and not thirty-six hours ago Sam had been the most alone he’d ever been in his life.  

He clings to Dean a little tighter.

“Is this for real?”  Even his voice has gotten higher, barely more than a falsetto over the lump in his throat.

“Of course it’s real, Sammy.”  Dean’s fingers are fluttering over him like nervous butterflies, touching his hip, his shoulder, taking his pulse at his neck, carding through his hair.  “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Cas turns from his spot in the passenger’s seat.  “Sam,” he says, worried.  “Are you certain you won’t let me heal you?  It’s possible there’s some more serious injury that we’ve overlooked.  Toni was…not kind to you.”

Something rises in Sam’s throat, pushing painfully past the lump and out his mouth, and it’s only when it escapes that he realizes it’s a laugh, the kind that feels more like sobbing.  “Not kind,” he echoes.  “You could say that.”

“Sam.  Please.”  Dean is practically begging him, eyes soft in that way they so rarely get anymore.  The way they only ever really got when he was looking at Sam.  “Let Cas do his thing, all right?”

Sam turns his face towards Dean’s stomach, away from those treacherous eyes.  Breathes deep, sweat and saltpeter and leather oil and soap.  His burned foot throbs in time with the bruises and the lump on his head; his muscles ache from the cold and the abuse.  His hair feels oily and unwashed, dirt ground into every crease of his skin.  “Inna bit,” he mumbles into Dean’s flannel.  “Just…need to know.”

“Need to know what?”  Dean’s voice has gone soft, soothing; his fingers are stroking Sam’s hair, down the back of his head and neck.

Sam tries to find the words.  Tries to think how to explain the over-romanticized soft-focus feel of the drugs Toni had given him.  Everything just a little too too—the candlelight a little too soft, the sheets a little too silken, her flesh a little too heated.  Now—

“It’s too good.”  The words are coming with difficulty, but he pushes on, presses them forward and out of his mouth.  “You.  Mom.  Cas.  It’s all…it’s the thing I wanted the most.  It’s what I dreamed about, when she had me locked up.”  He rolls his head up to look at Dean again.  “If it hurts…that means it’s real.  Because dreams don���t hurt.”

Dean’s fingers tighten on the back of Sam’s neck, big-brother signal for I understand.  “Sammy,” he says, his voice a little hoarse.  “This is real.  You’re real.  We’ll get you back to the bunker, get you some food.  You’ll be yourself again.”  He reaches down, takes hold of Sam’s hand; presses his thumb into the place where the long-healed scar crosses the palm.  “Stone number one, right?”

At the words, something unknots between Sam’s shoulders; he can feel himself sink into the seats, into Dean’s lap, butter left too long in the sun.  “Okay,” he manages, his hand closing around Dean’s, gripping tight.  “Stone number one.”

#whumptober2022 #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #s12e02 mamma mia #my writing

[geronimomo-spd]

8th doctor and musicals

i really see the 8th doc to be a huge musical nerd

defenetly got into Falsettos at the high of some down time in the tardis while Charley was sleeping, then she woke up to him sobbing while listening to the ending. standing there in the center of the tardis, holding on to dear life to the controls as tears flow from his eyes Charley: are you ok?? what on earth is happening?? Doctor: "WHO WOULD I BEEE, IF I HAD NOT LOVED YOU?? HOW WOULD I KNOW, WHAT LOVE IS??" [then Charley finds the music player and stops the music] then she just... embraces him he strickes me like one of those that listen gladly and happily to most of it but avoid the ending like a plague! (also while we are talking about the doctor and musicals, while 8 avoids the ending like the plague, the 12 doctor post Clara??? listens to the ending over and over again... still like a statue...)

also Charley!! she gets exposed to modern musicals through the doctor, he lets her to just put on headphones and transphorm into a world of music and sound that in the beginning overwelming to her but then she gets a little into it and then VERY into it to the point that she starts hogging the music player and listening to things in a VERY high volume and the doc has to take in away from her until she promises not to make her go deaf

can and appriciates gentle melodies and sweet poams!!

they both watch the Mozart musical and the doctor does not like it (i think he has trouble with bad endings like this) but Charley is like "this is basically you in a musical!! (and it does, i higley recomand Ich Bin, Ich Bin Muzik (i am music) it is littraly him song form)

he tries and succseeds to play musical instruments in diffrent time periods just for him to play Barbara 2.0 every time and Charley sighs every time hehe

i will add to this s i continue along in his run but i really see this!! he is a musical nerd that dignoses music ques and says a lot of alitirations all around!

(also i did hear about him playing the Violen in one of the EDAs and i cannot wait to get to that part omg)

#8th doctor #eighth doctor #eight doctor #paul mcgann #IF HE ONE DAY SINGS I WILL PASS OUT I'VE BEEN TOLD HE DOES THAT AT ONE POINT #i love this fucking nerd so much #throwing a book over his head as we speak #8th doctor big finish stuff #8th doctor listenalong #big finish #tries to hit the high noted every time and succsees somewhat #8th doctor listening to musicals

[galacticthembo]

this is how i feel listening to what would i do from falsettos and i bet on losing dogs by mitski on loop for an hour

#THIS FUCKING GAYASS MUSICAL #AURGHFHFHFJD PLEAAASEE #falsettos has me sobbing every time #literally every time #falsettos #AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON MITSKI. #JUST #:(

[girlgerard]

first off! your mcr posting has been keeping me updated on all the tour stuff and i love the way you talk about them! :) secondly i couldn't agree more on the vocals. this is how i disappear blew me away today. like the SCREAM at the bridge was the best i've ever heard and i loved the way they held the note at the end. their clarity is almost reminding me of that video where the band is recording bullets and gerard does the high harmony on drowning lessons. i'm obsessed w their voice on this tour. <3

absolutely 100% no notes the disappear bridge dropped my fucking jaw today and as soon as someone posts a recording it will be on repeat for 36 hours at least. gerard's always had beautiful tone but their real strength comes in the insane fucking EMOTION they're able to put into their voice. they can range from sweet falsetto to screaming to what sounds like sobbing and it's a rare talent to be able to do that. unfortunately that comes at the cost of good breath control since they used to sing from their throat 90% of the time and that isn't sustainable in the slightest so their live vocals were usually rough as hell (but made up for with their showmanship). but now that they finally got vocal lessons and are using their diaphragm they're able to sing like they did in the recordings LIVE THREE TIMES A WEEK and not end up gasping for breath at the end of it like jesus it kills me they sound so incredible. also today in foundations they hit every high note in the post chorus and i had to look away from the stream for a second i was so floored

#also thank you!!

[shadowysandwichphantom]

Check, Please Characters as Musicals they would play the Lead in

cuz I must crash my hyperfixation into my special interest

Bitty - Waitress. you cannot tell me this boy has not sobbed multiple times while listening to the soundtrack

Jack - Bandstand or Falsettos cuz he's a bisexual history nerd

Shitty - Legally Blonde. He literally goes to Harvard Law.

Lardo - Pippin. She would be the best Leading Player ever

Ransom - Young Frankenstein, because he's a nerd but also funny

Holster - Wants to be the lead in Wicked but would get High School Musical

Dex - 9 to 5. I've never seen it, but this man is a slut for Dolly Parton and no one can convince me otherwise

Nursey - Spring Awakening because he's that motherfucker (I'm also that motherfucker)

Chowder - Newsies. the dancing, the harmonies, the accents. he'd want to play every part at once and probably be able to

Kent - Mean Girls because he is Regina George and he is a massive deal

Tater - Jekyll and Hyde. he is the reason I made this post I have so many opinions about this

#omgcp #check please #omgcheckplease #omg check please #eric bittle #jack zimmermann #shitty knight #alexei mashkov #kent parson #larissa duan #derek nurse #chris chow #william poindexter #adam birkholtz #justin oluransi

[theimpossiblescheme]

“And from that moment, the boy in him, the innocent heart, the joy in him, they were gone.”

“They say he was never actually born, you know—he was just spat right out of the earth like a devil. That’s how he has all those powers of his.”

“You really believe that?”

“Sounds as plausible as anything else.  Explains his looks, too—just look at how they draw him on those Wanted posters.  That’s no natural-born cat, if you ask me.”

As the two voices faded further down the street, a deep smoky chuckle sounded far above them on the nearby rooftop.  “Well, that’s certainly a new one.”

Socrates glanced over at the broad, brown-speckled tomcat beside him.  “What, you’ve never heard that theory before?”  The more nights like this passed—just the two of them keeping vigil during the Mystery Cat’s conferences, making sure no foolish alley cats tried to break inside—the more he almost marveled at his mentor.  Pallas had been at the Mouser’s Palace longer than anyone, even Macavity himself, and he certainly wasn’t afraid to drive that point home.  He carried himself like a seasoned war veteran and trained like one, too, sparing no pity for his young charges and brutally racing, hunting, and sparring any weakness or hesitance out of them.  But with that came a certain… predictability, Socrates supposed, that was almost comforting.  You knew what to expect from the old-timer and, if you could keep up, fell into a sort of rhythm.  Not all nights were spent running drills and long, dangerous errands; some nights were just the two of them talking and keeping an eye out.  And every so often, Pallas would drop hints to just how long he’d been around.  Socrates wondered if he asked enough, he’d have enough pieces of background to form the complete puzzle.

Presently, Pallas lashed his tail to one side, settling down onto his forelegs with a grunt.  “Not that exact one, anyways.  Heard somebody claim he’s a werecat once… he’d make a damn ugly human, to be sure.”

He knew he shouldn’t laugh, but Socrates couldn’t quite stifle it as he sunk down next to him.  “I don’t know—if he’s not actually a human, he could have been inspired by one.  He’s not the only Napoleon of Crime who ever worked in London.”

“Heard that one, too.” Pallas rested his head over his paws and flicked one heavily scarred ear.  “Lot of ‘em tend to be on the more… sob-story end of things.  Figuring a cat like that had to be made, not born.”

“Oh, yeah?”  He’d never said so out loud, but Socrates had always wondered.  Macavity had been a fixture in his life from the very beginning, so much that even as a kitten he’d never thought to question it.  This was his home, Macavity was the master of the house, and it was all of their jobs to defend it.  For the longest time, he’d even assumed that they were father and son—it seemed like the only explanation, since he’d never known any other father.  But ever since finding out otherwise… well, that was just one set of questions on top of another, wasn’t it?  If he wasn’t here because of Macavity, then what for?  Why did Macavity want him?  Where had he come from to begin with?  At first the theories were just a curiosity, but then his own curiosity kept growing.  Cesare always told him he asked too many questions, but something itched at the back of Socrates’ mind, as though the world and his understanding of it would shrink back down if he ever stopped.

Pallas tipped his head up at the black sky.  “There’s a couple of popular ones like that.  One’s that his mother and father just gave up on him.  Couldn’t handle a cat with his powers, so they just cast him aside out of fear.  Another’s that he didn’t come by all that power honestly—he was cursed with it or gifted it or something like that, and he didn’t know how to handle it himself. Either way… they say something in him just died one day.”  His voice climbed up to a higher, almost falsetto pitch as he imitated the voice of some old gossip sharing the story with their quilting circle.  “And from that moment, the boy in him, the innocent heart, the joy in him… they were gone.”

Socrates didn’t smile this time.  He just listened.  “You think any of that’s true?”

“Who the hell knows?” Pallas snorted, lowering his voice back down to its usual pitch.  “You’ve heard any of ‘em, you’ve heard ‘em all… no use putting stock in stories, I say.”

“… What do you think, then?”

“Eh?  Speak up, kit—my hearing’s not what it used to be.”

“What do you think about… where Macavity came from?”

At that, the old tom levelled a beady black gaze at him.  “I don’t.  That’s the thing.  I don’t waste time guessing about where any of them come from.  Macavity’s not that special, kit—there’s bullies and braggarts all over this city, every one ‘em tryin’ to be better than the others.  You want my advice?”  He chucked Socrates in the shoulder none too gently with one paw, but compared to his usual strikes and slashes during training, it was practically a love tap.  “Don’t you think about it too hard either.  You’ll just make yourself miserable.”

… But that was the thing, too.  Socrates did think about it.  Constantly. He tried not to, honest to Cat he did. Good brothers and sisters in the Mouser’s Palace kept their heads low, their mouths shut, and their ears open unless told otherwise.  But the more he talked to Bombalurina and Demeter and even Alonzo when he was around, the more he wondered…

The more he talked to little Plato, abandoned in his own crate in the cellar, clinging to any warmth and laughter he could find in such a cold place, the more he wished he could give him more hope.  More answers. His head was still a jumble of contradictory orders and conflicting desires, none of which he could make sense of.

Pallas wasn’t going to help him.  Not outright, anyway.  But one of these days, one way or another, he was going to wheedle more secrets out of the old tom.  He was going to find out everything he possibly could.

And then he was going to tell the others.  Light their way a little better through these dark nights.  And to hell with Macavity, whoever he really was.

#asked and answered #ride-a-dromedary #cats the musical #socrates #OCs #Thank you for letting me borrow Pallas for this--I hope I did him and his dynamic with Socrates justice! <3

[angel-archivist]

Falsettos was the first musical to make me cry bro i love these unstable gay people and their unstable ex wives and unstable sons😭

LITERALLY LITERALLY GOD, Falsettos was the first REALLY good musical I ever listened to, its just so fucking heartbreaking and all of the characters despite their flaws are people you WANT to see succeed and work through their issues BUT IT HAS TO END ON SUCH A FUCKING HEARTBREAKING ENDING like every time I listen to "what would I do" i literally start fucking SOBBING, and I actually put that song in a musical bracket for my choir class and my choir teacher he literally can't hear the title of the song now without grabbing his heart and being like ‘:((’ audibly (it lost to a song from fucking moulin rouge). ITS JUST.. so fucking powerful especially w the context... and even from the beginning you KNOW when Falssetoland comes up and you realize its the 80's...and where its going to go and  uits just like...fuck

#AND PUTTING A DOCTOR CHARACTER N MAKING HER A LESBIAN #BECAUSE THE ONLY REASON SHE WOULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THESE GAY MEN COMING AND DYING DURING THAT TIME WAS BECAUSE ITS HER COMMUNITY #LIKE ITS SO FUCKED UP AIDS WAS JUST CONCERNED THE 'GAY PERSON' DISEASE #Like this musical is so fucjing good....and the fact its like oriignally a triology of musicals meaning the writign and plot and stuff #evovled over the years of writign it #like I WILL just ramble abt thsi musical its honestly my favoirtes

[borisbubbles]

ESC2021 Preshow: 20. Estonia

Uku Suviste - “The lucky one”

Semi 2, #02

Going through the motions of 2021′s shitty NF season, it was a given that the critical mass of the “2020 returnees” competing the selections in these would win them hands down. 

So given how much i DISLIKED the offensively boring abomination “What love is”, and how PAINFULLY inevitable Uku’s victory in a decent Eesti Laul (um spoiler for NF corner?) seemed to be, It’s actually a shock I ended up liking Uku? But I do, lol and I’m not apologizing, sorry boos. 

In fact, I was rooting for Uku to win EL as soon as I saw his performance in the semi. “The lucky one”, which suffered from Aggressive Autotune + Forgettable Melody (we need a name for this. I propose Roxen Syndrome?), is legit good live and harps back to the (admittedly better) “Pretty Little Liar”, and that’s good enough for me. 

Of course, I am aware of the obvious ~*SOULLESS HIMBOT FROM THE DREAM FACTORY*~ label attached to this this entry (written by Uku and something called “Sharon Vaughn” are we certain this person isn’t just Kontopoulos in drag?), don’t worry. I rank him twentieth, not seventh. 

Fortunately, Uku is a mandroid from the SAME sweatshop that gave us Lucie Jones a few years back - in other words omfg he’s barely functional. 😍 Droning robot turned incompetent DRAMA KING <333333 The amount of EFFORT that needs to be thrown in to keep a ~pretence of competence~ is the most tangible in the backing vocals, which trail Uku’s like a shadow and STILL his voicecracks come through at key intervals <3

😍😍😍😍😍

The pathos of Uku throwing in high votes he cannot sing and then his voice breaking over the strain each time, gets me, okay? He doesn’t need a crystal ball to show me, baby it’s clear that you don’t know him :SOB:.  So dramatic, so inept, so unintetionally comedic, so Uku <3 

In other news, this lockdown had better end soon because with each passing day I feel like I’m turning further into a cat lady. 

ps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYXNeYXUmEQ&loop=0  😍😍😍

NF Corner - Eesti Laul 2021

Finally a decent Eesti Laul, lol. I wish I could say it was good, but it had one of the weirdest semi split’s I’ve ever seen. EL’s first Semi was without exaggeration the WORST show in the entire season, and the second was a contender for the BEST one across all NFs???? I suppose EXTREME Evil and EXTREME Good balance each other out in blistering adequacy? 

Anyway, I’ll now proceed to ignore Koit and Egert and Karl Killing and Hans and all the other bad (non-Linna/non-Kéa) entries from semi 1, and proceed to an NF Corner composed ENTIRELY of semi 2 songs :-)

Jüri Pootsmann - “Magus Melanhoolia”

It was between Sissi and Jüri for the Token Superfinalist Contender slot on this list, and Jüri is infinitely more notable. Sorry, Sis ur time (to win Eesti Laul?) will come once you figure out to write good music :(

Anyway, what can I even say about Jüri because lmfao what a baffling entry. Registered BARITONE JÜRI POOTSMANN coming back with a an experimental lounge jazz song that is song almost entirely in falsetto. 😍 The camera angles <3 the fact that this already INCREDEBLY short song includes 10 seconds of Jüri standing on the stage looking bored <3 what a fucking baffling entry, I have no opinions, only exclamations of surprise. 

REDEL - “Tarttu”

I HAAAATED “Tarttu” on first listen. 😂😂😂😂 but seriously though, this is downright epic. The UNPLUGGED Meiekündimees MADNESS of it all, now condenced into a equally nonsensical song that is basically like “X is a wooden town but NONE OF THEM ARE AS WOODEN TOWNY AS TARTTU. *incoherent kazoo noises*” 😍😍😍 Once got the chorus stuck in my head at the zoo as I was watching the penguins getting fed and it was one of the most bizarre synesthesic experiences I’ve ever had lmfao <3

Gram-of-Fun - “Lost in a dance”

If you’re wondering what the sort of music I listen to Eurovision is like - this is it. INCREDIBLY good and addictive and EMOTIONALLY tangible 80s New Wave is my fucking jam, can we have entries like this in EVERY selection from here on out? WELL DONE Kristel... on composing this wonderful song, less so on the Kazka-esque vocals that caused it to tragically NQ in the semi. 🙄 Still, BRING THEM BACK (and restrict Kristel to a songwriter only role, plz.)

Gram-of-Fun were my fave, but because they NQ’d somebody else had to fill their shoes in the finale. I’ll now reveal who it was

Kadri Voorand - “Energy”

IT WAS HARD DECIDING BETWEEN SUURED TÜDRÜKUD AND KADRI THOUGH. But given that Charlotte Perelli is guaranteed to appear in Sweden’s NF corner (um is she? :counts on fingers: Clara, Evas, Dotter... ehh sure I’m committed now I guess), it would be best NOT to post Dagmar & Kaire as they fucking clown her lol <3 But their song WAS pretty antiquated schlager...

Kadri otoh... absolutely breaks all records for me by delivering a unicorn: an entertaining stripped-down piano ballad. For the most part because she has incredible emotional delivery that serves personality on a fucking pyrotechnical level, like onn-stop “Loudmouthed Oaf Energy” in the form of a introspective jazz ballad <3 Can you imagine Estonia actually picking this? They could have come left-handside. 

But will Uku do well? :o

Predicted Journey - Estonia

He won’t come top 10, if that’s what you mean by “well”.😂 If you mean “qualify for the Grand Final” then... potentially? Semi 2 is less of a crapshoot than the first semifinal however. At this stage, it’s pretty much “okay, so these twelve acts can qualify... but which ten will?”.

Fortunately for Uku, he is one of aforementionned twelve possible qualifiers. (the others are: san marino, czech rep, greece, moldova, iceland, serbia, albania, bulgaria, finland, switzerland and denmark). UNfortunately for Uku, he’s one of the candidates for the two NQ slots inside that group of twelve.

The problem with Estonia is that their entry is a televote-friendly ballad, stuck in a really televote-UNfriendly slot (#02), in a semi where the jury vote will very likely put them outside the top 10. If we add in a dark stage and Uku’s shaky vocals, they don’t look particularly secure. 

However, I also think Estonia can qualify relatively easily because “televote-friendly ballad” is a unique niche inside that semi; the other ballads (Switzerland is NOT a ballad), won’t be getting many votes and Uku’s appeal as a handsome man with a dramatic song will make him stand out in spite of his spot in the running order, as LONG AS his vocal delivery (or that of the prerecorded backing vocals) remains adequate enough. If not, he’ll be swiftly forgotten and NQ.

Another thing that can cause Uku to qualify is if at least two others of the twelve underwhelm (my money for that would be on Albania, Denmark, San Marino and/or Czech Rep), making Uku the lucky one as he’ll ascend in the ensuing powercreep.

At any rate, it’s really difficult to gauge how well Uku would do since I haven’t really thought about the other BL qualifiers’ odds enough. His televote should be strong enough to avoid bottom 3, I think, and I think it’s safe to say he won’t come top five. Between those values, pffffew, who can possibly tell? I’m not burning my fingers on that. 

Projected placements > Qualifier Tier: Borderline > Semifinal: 6th-14th (out of 17) > Grand Final: 17th-22nd (out of 26)

THE RANKING

01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. ESTONIA - Uku Suviste - “The lucky one” 21. FINLAND - Blind Channel - “Dark side” 22. AZERBAIJAN - Efendi - “Mata Hari” 23. the NETHERLANDS - Jeangu Macrooy - “Birth of a new age” 24. CZECH REPUBLIC - Benny Christo - “Omaga” 25. DENMARK - Fyr og Flamme - “Øve os på hinanden” 26. SLOVENIA - Ana Soklič - “Amen” 27. SWITZERLAND - Gjon’s Tears - “Tout l’Univers” 28. ROMANIA - Roxen - “Amnesia” 29. SERBIA - Huricane - “Loco loco” 30. POLAND - Rafał - “The ride” 31. ISRAEL - Eden Alene - “Set me free” 32. GEORGIA - Tornike Kipiani - “You” 33. PORTUGAL - The Black Mamba - “Love is on my side” 34. SPAIN - Blas Cantó - “Voy a quedarme” 35. NORWAY - Tix - “Fallen Angel” 36. CYPRUS - Elena Tsagrinou - “El Diablo” 37. AUSTRIA - Vincent Bueno - “Amen” 38. NORTH MACEDONIA - Vasil - “Here I stand” 39. GERMANY - Jendrik - “I don’t feel hate”

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2021 #ESC2021 #ESC 2021 #Eurovision Song Contest #Estonia #Uku Suviste #The Lucky One

[trashscenariihxh]

Milluki x Reader Smut

As promised, here it is!  TW for physical and emotional abuse, possible Stockholm Syndrome, Milluki being an asshole, and only vaguely satisfying sex.  Also Milluki has a big dick.

Enjoy, my cursed friends!

 The sting of the whip lashing across your back made your entire body stiffen.  Another lash, and you bit your lip hard enough to bleed. Yet another, and the scream you’d been trying so hard to stifle tore itself from your throat.

“Had enough yet?” Milluki sneered, raising the whip again.

“Please, Milluki!” You cried out, arms shaking as you gripped your leather restraints with sweaty fingers.  “Please, no more.  I’m sorry.”

You couldn’t see it, but you could feel his cold gaze on your back..  “Are you really sorry?”

You nodded desperately.  Your arms, which had been aching, were growing numb and cold.  “I’m so, so sorry I broke your doll, Milluki.  It was an accident, I swear I would never--”

Your words were cut off by another lash across your back.

“You did it on purpose!” he spat, throwing the whip to the ground.  “That one was for lying to me.”  Sighing heavily, he walked over to your slumped, defeated form.  “I suppose I’d better untie you now,” he grumbled, undoing the restraints with surprisingly deft fingers, “or else Mama will be mad.”  He raised his voice into a shrill, mocking falsetto; a caricature of Kikyo’s voice.  “Don’t be so rough with her.  Ha!” His voice returned to normal as he unfastened the other cuff.  “I don’t know why she wanted me to marry you so badly.”  The leather cuff released your wrist, and you slid down to your knees with a sob.

“Look at you,” he jeered, grabbing your arm and pulling you to your feet with a strength that never failed to surprise you, “you’re so weak.  Totally unworthy of being a Zoldyck.”

You whimpered as he hauled you off to the nearest bathroom.  “Get cleaned up,” he ordered, grabbing a towel from the nearby linen closet and throwing it at you.  “Don’t come to bed until you do.”  With that he left you, lumbering away to his computer room.

As soon as the bathroom door was closed, you covered your mouth with your hand and sobbed into it.  Why did he always have to be so cruel?  Sniffling, you walked over to the bath and turned on the faucets.  As the air grew steamy with the heat of the water, you turned your back to the mirror and looked over your shoulder to survey the damage.  Angry welts and stripes covered your back.  Milluki had only given you four lashes, and of those only the last one had broken the skin.  He had been kind.

You turned off the faucet, tested the water with your hand, and slid into the bath, gasping in pain as the water made your back sting.  You hugged your legs to your chest and rested your head on your knees as you turned everything over in your mind.  You’d broken one of Milluki’s realistic, life size dolls earlier that day.  You’d been making yourself useful and tidying his room when a tiny misstep sent it toppling to the floor with a crash.  Purely accidental, you’d told yourself.  But was it?  You sighed.  You hated those dolls.  Loathed every single one and everything about them.  The way Milluki talked about them, the glow of pride that shone from him whenever he did so.  The abundance of attention he gave them.  Your jaw tensed.  He gave them so much attention, while he barely gave you the time of day.

Slowly, carefully, you grabbed a washcloth and began to wash yourself.  Milluki was cruel, cold and unfeeling.  Selfish.  Childish.  Truly a loathsome man and yet… you winced as you dabbed at your back.  You needed his approval.  Craved it, even.  Your entire being ached for it.  What you wouldn’t give for just one smile from Milluki!

Grimacing, you finished washing your back as best you could before grabbing the soap again and starting on your legs.  You’d been married five months, and Milluki hadn’t touched you since your wedding night.  At first, you’d been relieved.  Grateful.  But as the weeks had turned into months, the absence of touch had begun to wear you down. He had once been repulsive to you, but now… You felt a throb between your legs.  You slipped a hand between them, leaning back and closing your eyes.  It wasn’t hard to imagine his hand in place of yours, or the weight of him on top of you.  The stretch of him inside of you.

The cool porcelain of the tub soothed your wounds as you touched yourself, visions of your husband filling your mind.  It didn’t take you long to finish; you murmured his name as your core pulsed.

Temporarily satisfied, though your hand was a poor substitute for any real intimacy, you finished washing then stood, draining the bath and wrapping a towel around yourself. As you dried yourself off, you wondered how you could get Milluki to touch you again.  Your shoulders slumped when it occurred to you that he probably didn’t even want to look at you after what you’d done.  He didn’t even believe you were sorry.  Unless…

A small smile crossed your face as you wrapped a robe around yourself.  Unless you could show him how sorry you were.  Yes.  That’s what you’d do.  If he let you, that is.

Quietly, you made your way to his computer where you knew he’d be.  Not daring to enter unannounced, you lightly knocked at the door.

“What?”

“May I come in?”

“Why?”

“I just want to see you.”

There was a pause. A sigh, a groan.  “Fine.  Come in.”

You entered and saw the familiar sight of Milluki hunched over his computer desk, furiously typing.  “Milluki?”

“What?”  He didn’t look up from his computer.

You crept up behind him and rested your hands on his broad shoulders.  He tensed under your touch.  “Leave me alone I’m busy.”

Gentle rubbing his shoulders, you leaned down to kiss his neck.  Milluki huffed and slouched away from you.  Undaunted, you kissed him again, this time eliciting an annoyed grunt.  When you tried a third time, Milluki swatted your hand off his shoulder and spun his chair around.  “I said I’m busy.” He glowered at you from his seated position.  “Why do you need my attention so much?”

You looked at the floor, hurt.  “I...I--”

“Answer me, you dumb bitch.”

You steeled yourself and looked him in the eye.  “I wanted to apologize.”

Milluki’s lip curled into a sneer.  “Apologize? You think you can just apologize for what you did?”

It was now or never.  Summoning every ounce of courage, you dropped to your knees in front of him.  “I thought,” you began, struggling to keep your voice from shaking as you ran your hands along his thighs, “that I could show you just how sorry I am.”

Milluki blinked incredulously down at you for a moment, but any further protests were cut short by you unbuckling his belt.

“Relax,” you purred, confidence building as you unzipped his pants.

He regarded you with what seemed to be indifference.  You were half expecting him to tell you to get away from him, to shove you back, but instead he sighed and leaned back in his chair.

Emboldened, you freed his still-soft cock from his pants, giving it a few tentative strokes. You smiled to yourself when, unconsciously or otherwise, Milluki spread his legs and leaned back even more to give you better access to his cock. You continued to stroke him, slightly concerned that you were displeasing him until finally you felt his cock twitch to life in your hand.  You gave it a few languid pumps before shuffling in closer between his widespread legs.

Navigating around his considerable bulk was difficult but not impossible; you tilted your head to the side and gave the head of his cock a long slow lick. 

Milluki exhaled heavily as your lips closed around him, and let out a little groan when you gave him a suck.  When he tangled his fingers in your hair you hummed happily around him, pleased with the acknowledgement.  Milluki might not have known it then, but you fully intended to choke yourself on his cock.

You’d set about doing just that when Milluki grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you off of him.

“If we’re going to do this, might as well go to the bedroom,” he muttered. When you looked at him questioningly, he scowled and snapped “didn’t you hear me, idiot?  Go to the bedroom, Now!”

You scrambled to your feet at his words, tripping over your bathrobe as you hurried towards the adjoining bedroom.  Milluki strode heavily after you, stripping off his pants and shirt and casting them to the side.  You stared at him; it had been ages since you’d seen him naked… the last time being the time you’d convinced him to let you join him in the shower.  Not that anything had come of that…

“Could you please get  on the bed, Milluk?” you asked, letting your robe drop to the floor in what you hoped was an enticing manner.

Milluki merely shrugged and lied down on his back, propping himself up on his elbows.  His cock, still hard, flushed, and big jutted out from his pale body. You ached for it.  Milluki hadn’t even touched you yet, but you were painfully aware of just how wet you were.  Ready.  

Climbing onto the bed, you straddled Milluki’s groin and positioned your entrance over his cock, rubbing your wetness along his length.  Milluki hissed and reached down to grip your thighs, thick fingers digging into soft skin.  Slowly, you sank down onto him, groaning slightly at the stretch.  It had been far too long and Milluki had offered you nothing in terms of preparation; your eyes widened at the sting.

A glance down at Milluki told you all you needed to know; he was biting his lower lip, his brows knitted in concentration, sweat beginning to bead his forehead as he resisted the urge to just slam you down onto him.

“Ah, fuck,” you moaned out when he was fully sheathed inside you, stretching you to the point of discomfort.

“Move,” Milluki demanded, snapping his hips upwards.  

You rocked your hips forward, only moving a little bit to allow yourself to stretch.

“I said move!”  Without warning, Milluki grabbed your hips and lifted you up before slamming you back down again.

Your vision blurred.  The world tilted.  You throbbed around him.

Milluki’s scowl deepened as he continued to lift and lower you onto his cock.

“Ah!” You moaned, relishing the closeness you were finally feeling after months of neglect.  You wanted him so desperately, so completely… yet your body was having different ideas.  Each thrust made your eyes widen in shock at just how much he was filling you, just how much his cock was working you open.  Each thrust made you forget the lash wounds on your back.

A curse tore itself from your lips when Milluki slammed you down particularly hard; you began touching yourself in an effort to convince your body that it did, in fact, like this.  You gasped and moaned with each thrust, mouth hanging open as you scrunched your eyes shut.  The pain was beginning to abate, finally giving way to the beginnings of pleasure.

“Oh, Milluki,” you cooed down at him as he slammed you down onto his cock yet again,

You received only a grunt in response; Milluki was clearly chasing his own orgasm with little regard for your pleasure.  You continued to touch yourself, letting your head loll back as waves of ecstasy began to course through your body.

“Oh, Milluki, oh!” You threw your head back and cried out when your orgasm hit, sending you trembling and quaking around his cock.

Despite your overstretched state, Milluki still felt you spasming around him.  His fingernails dug into your hips as he slammed you down one final time, spilling into you with what could have been a sigh of your name.

With a sigh you slumped forward only Milluki’s large and soft body.  Your respite lasted only a moment; Milluki shoved you off him with a scowl while grumbling about needing to shower.  As he was about to leave, you called out to him.  “Do you accept my apology, Milluki?”

His lip twisted into another sneer.  “Break one of my toys again, and I’ll make you into a replacement.”  With those words he left you alone and messy on the bed, your back beginning to ache again.

#milluki zoldyck #smuttastic #tw physical abuse #tw blood #tw dubcon #dubcon #tw emotional abuse #tw emotional neglect

[savedbybangtan]

Puppy Love

Summary: At this point, you’re not even trying to remedy the issue.

1,498 words

Warning tags: smut, dubcon, stalking, possessive, unprotected sex (wrap it up yall, pwp, one shot, unhealthy relationship 

                                  Puppy Love

Passion and fury blanket the room in an uncomfortable heat.

Your breaths become one – coursing through your lungs after just coming out of his.

His moans start wherever yours left off, and in this moment, you didn’t care who started and who ended.

This was the most disconcerting sexual encounter yet. On your back, this becomes clear.

Your eyes roll into the back of your head in pleasure, willing your approaching orgasm to go away so you can savour the feel of his silk covered rod ram into you some more. Through your breathless cries, you were able to hear the small disturbances on the hard floor where Jungkook lifted himself off you so he sat upright, never leaving the tight, hot passage that he called home.

“When will you stop playing with me,” he asks pushing his raven hair out of his eyes, anger still clearly laced in his voice – even now.

You answer him by craning your neck to the side, staring at a spot underneath the couch.

Trembling hands grip your neck in a ghost of a choke, tracing the veins on your neck and lingering on that particular area right underneath your ear. That same purple mark that had enraged him and the reason Jungkook was taking out his anger on you.

Suddenly, he grabs your jaw so you could face him. “Fucking look at me!”

Your eyes meet his and you’re so overwhelmed you think you might cry in earnest.

“I said when are you going to stop? I thought what we had was special.”

He rams into you harder and smacks one of your hips hard enough that you’re afraid your neighbours might have heard across the road. “I-I…” You start stammering. “I told you, Jungkookie, we are not- AH – together,” the last word ends up as a mantra.

“You said I was special.”

“You are! I said-FUCK!” He had grabbed your wrists over your head in one hand and he had a handful of your sensitive breasts in the other.

“You told me that I was special, yet you’re still dating other guys!” He punctuated each word with a hard thrust that you felt in your heart.

“Oh my God, Kookie,” you whine. “We were kids,” you bite out. “For the last, fucking, time, you were my best friend, so I said that.”

Sure, he was a few years younger than you, but you had no way to tell the little boy who ran up to you with a Valentine’s Day card that you weren’t interested. He had been following you all over your junior high school since the year started. You thought his crush was cute, so you often indulged him in his sweet words and drawings and innocent nuances.

In high school, you had become friends, and now with you in college and him being an idol, your relationship drifted apart naturally.

Or so it should have. You two hardly spoke anymore, let alone see each other.

But for some reason, he always managed to find out about any new boyfriends, or he always happened to bump into you, or rather pop up at your apartment, just when you had gotten a fresh new love bite.

“Tsk.” He suddenly flips you over, not being careful at all on the hard floor and you knew you would bruise. The feeling is replaced with utter bliss when he continues to drill into you like a machine.

You are about to sigh when he grabs your neck in a chokehold and begins to whisper in your ear. “You knew what you were saying and I know you love me. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have acted that way. Ever since you went to college you started acting differently towards me. It’s like you changed and I fucking hate,” he emphasizes with a slow and deep grind, “it.”

A chill ran up your spine. This had to stop.

Well, not the sex part, but you have to put an end to this obsession he has. He sounds crazy.

He breathes into your ear and licks the outer part slowly, like he was eating something that was too sweet to put in your mouth all at once. “When did you stop loving me,” he pants out, stuttering slightly as he normally did when he was close.

As if possible, he starts to rut into you faster. Thin red velvet met pink steel, over and over. The candle you were burning to read your novel before he broke into your apartment flickered eerily, making the room feel hotter than it actually was, but it illuminated the place enough to see Jungkook shutting his eyes tight when you looked back at him.

You clench around him, willing him to finally reach his end. You do not know how long he had been going at it, but you do know you are deliciously sore, delectably worn out, and had climaxed nine times already.

Still, he nibbles on the spot on your neck that Victor had so eagerly ravished last night. He licks it and kisses it as if he was trying to suck it off of your skin completely.

However, that was one of your weak points – every guy you slept with, including Jungkook, often found that out during foreplay.

Your falsetto reverberates across the walls. Drool is hanging from your lips, but your high is so painful that you don’t notice. You almost missed the flood that accompanied it between your legs where Jungkook pistons into you with no mercy.

“Noona noona noona noona noona,” he calls incessantly as a crescendo as you thankfully feel the warm deposit leak into your womb.

You both stay in that position, too tired to move.

As the electricity of your orgasm that once ran through your veins develop into a warm blanket of calm, you hear sobs behind you and immediately look back in worry.

Jungkook was full on bawling, hands carelessly wiping at his face, as his cock still sat in you.

“Noona, please, don’t stop loving me. Don’t leave me. I can’t make it without you. I won’t.” He stammers and convulses, but he manages to get all the words out.

Tears that were once of bliss collect and fall again in devastation. “Jungkookie, I won’t. You know that we are good friends, but-“

“But I don’t want to be a friend, Noona.”

“Jungkook, get out….” He was still half hard inside of you and it was getting uncomfortable as you dried up.

“No, I’ll never leave you,” he hugs you tightly as if to prove it.

“I mean get your penis out of me. It’s starting to hurt.”

“Oh, shit, sorry.” He pulls out and carries you to the bathroom, sitting you down on the counter as he ran you a bath.

“Jungkook, shit, listen to me,” you say, finally realizing that you had to stop allowing him to do things like this. He hums in acknowledgment. “Look at me.”

Obediently, he turns to you, fully focusing on you as the bathtub fills. His puppy-dog eyes burrowing into your heart is already breaking down your resolve.

“I want you to wash your face, put your clothes back on, go home, and get some rest.”

He looks at his feet childishly and suddenly you’re reminded of the tiny 7th grade boy who came up to you randomly with construction paper flowers during lunch one day.

“You won’t block me on everything again; will you, Noona? I couldn’t take it if you do it again. I’ll kill Victor if you do. I know where his dorms are. Noona, don’t think I won’t.”

You swallow hard, trying not to show how scared you are. “Kookie, let’s just take a bath, then and sleep. I’m tired.”

As if he puts on a mask, his serious expression flipped into his bunny-like smile and he nods.

He places you in the bath and you let him wash you.

This was his version of damage control you noticed. He looks at each bruise on your skin and kisses it softly.

Next, he would dry you off and lift you into your bedroom, where he would dress you in some pajamas that he bought for you, but you never wore. Still naked, he would lie behind your clothed body, stroking your arms gently as you drifted to sleep.

Of course, like always, he will never be there in the morning. It’s around 6 am when you notice the coldness of the bed and see he was already gone. Gone before you could talk to him about the previous night’s events and what it means. Gone before you could ruin his fantasy that you were his girlfriend.

Somehow, he had known about you and Victor’s new fling.

Before he ended up in some freak accident like Dillon, or before he slips on some stairs like Bartholomew, you decide to break things off with Victor.

You groan in pain while silent tears fall. Everything hurt.

Everything.

#ml #jungkook smut #jungkook imagine #yandere jungkook #bts smut

[ali-kitkat]

Where Did You Sleep Last Night? Blooming Dread.

Damian rarely stayed in for the night; he preferred to patrol the city as Robin, but he’d chosen to stay in for the night and help Alfred and Gordon run comms. He was pulled from his musings by the manor’s proximity alarms going off, someone was on the grounds and checking the security feeds showed a girl.

“Marinette.” He breathed. He could hear the shakiness in his voice.

She looked as if she had walked out of one of Drake’s beloved horror films; she was bruised and battered and swaying side to side. Her right was cradled by her left and she was favoring her left leg, while attempting not to fall over. Only unbalancing herself further. She had a black eye, a cut on her cheek and a split lip. Blood had pooled at the corner of her mouth.

Her knees were exposed, showing bruises and skinned knees. One leg was torn more than the other and there was a half-circle of smaller bruises above her favored knee. The worst of her injuries was her side, her floral dress was bloody, someone had slashed her side open. She had four long lacerations bleeding severely.

He rushed from the cave to the front door. When he reached it, he hadn’t realized he swung it open so abruptly, startling Marinette and causing her to back away from him in fear, stumbling on a possibly broken leg.

“Who did this to you?” His voice was hushed, but his anger was unrestrained. She looked at him with such fear and apprehension that his breath hitched. Her swaying was worse, and he lunged forwards, catching her before she hit the ground. He wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth. He forced himself to relax.

“Habibti please.” He pleaded, voice cracking slightly and an urgency in his tone.

“Adrien.” She mumbled; her face half buried in his shoulder as she started sobbing. His heart ached at the sound.

He gathered Marinette gently in his arms and carried her inside, whispering words of reassurance to her as her sobs had subsided into whimpers. Her body went limp and her head slipped off his shoulder. He stopped in his tracks, frozen in fear. He let out a sigh of relief when he felt her labored breathing. He’d always been aware that Marinette was small but holding her unconscious form in his arms made him all the more aware of just how small she really was. Every instinct in him screamed to tear Agreste apart. They also demanded not to let her go.

“Master Damian, if you would please carefully place Miss Marinette on the dining room table for her wounds to be tended to? Miss Cassandra, Miss Stephanie if you would help tend to her wounds as well?” Alfred asked, causing him to look up from Marinette’s bloody face, which had scrunched up in pain from his abrupt movement. He hadn’t realized his family had returned until he saw them standing behind Alfred. Hell, he didn’t even notice he never made it back to the cave. He was standing in the middle of the hallway holding Marinette. It felt as if all the air in the room had been sucked out, everyone staring at him.

The blood that had soaked her dress was seeping through and soaking his own shirt making him realize that if he didn’t place her on the table, she wouldn’t make it and he knew he wouldn’t recover from that.

Marinette let out a small noise of objection as he gently set her down on the table. He sighed as he pried her hands off his shirt, she didn’t want to let go, and it would’ve been cute had it not been for the circumstances of why she did it.

It was as if Marinette knew he was leaving her side and she wasn’t happy about it. When she finally let go of his shirt, he left the room, Marinette deserved her privacy.

He settled on the floor just outside the door, away from Marinette. His blood boiled as he sat there, just staring at Marinette’s blood on himself. He wanted answers and since only two people knew what happened and with Marinette unconscious, he would gladly maim Agreste to get them.

“Did she tell you what happened Baby Bird?” Dick prodded gently, interrupting his thoughts. Todd and Drake were staring at him, their expressions tight with worry.

“Agreste.” He snarled.

“Agreste,” Dick repeated in confusion, “as in Adrien Agreste?”

“That’s the guy harassing her.” Todd voiced, as Drake nodded his head in agreement. It took all his willpower not to throttle his brothers for the information he was lacking.

“What do you mean harassing her?” He demanded, rising to his feet. Marinette had never mentioned being harassed by anyone, at least not to him. He was conflicted; she clearly trusted his brothers enough to tell them about the harassment she was facing, but not him. What made him so different? “Answer me.”

“She said he was invading her personal space, not taking no for an answer, I don’t think she thought he was going to escalate.” Drake elaborated.

“I want to tear him apart just as badly as you do right now.” Todd snapped. “But you’re the one that Pixie trusts, she came to you instead of going to the police or a hospital, don’t let her wake up not knowing where you are.”

“And since did you care about Nettie?” Drake inquired, staring at him, brows raised.

He growled. “I don’t, not that it’s any of your business, Interloper.” Drake and Todd gave him a disbelieving look.

“Boys.” His father interrupted, cutting through the rising tension in the hallway. They all turned to him, expectant, the air ripe with anticipation. “Alfred and the girls are currently tending to her injuries. She has a broken leg, dislocated shoulder and four lacerations on her side. Her leg has been set and she will need a proper cast from the hospital but for now she has a split. Her shoulder has also already been realigned. They’re working on stitching her side up now.”

“I’m going to eviscerate him.”

“I’d like to claim bullshit about your previous statement, ‘I don’t’ because that was fake as fuck.” Todd snarked. He glared at his brother and lunged forward only to be intercepted by Dick. He fought the urge to elbow his brother in the ribs and let Dick drag him away rather than wait impatiently by the door.

Dick dragged him into the living room, not far from the dining room for which he was thankful and stared at him for a moment before speaking. Well, implored more than anything. “Talk to me Baby Bird. You’re wound up tighter than usual. Something is bothering you; we’re not leaving until you tell me.”

“That’s the problem. I’m unsure.” He sighed. “Drake was right, you know how much I loathe to admit that. I’ve been less than cordial with Marinette; so, why am I so ready to protect her? I didn’t even want to let her go Dick. The only reason I did was because if I hadn’t, she would have died.”

“Do you have feelings for her?” Dick questioned; he opened his mouth to refute but Dick held up a hand making him stop. “Just think about it. Do you have feelings for her? They don’t have to be big ones or anything extravagant. How do you feel about her? Because from where I stand and your words alone, it doesn’t sound as if you’ve given it much thought.”

Did he have feelings for Marinette? He wasn’t sure. He actually had to think about it, as Dick said he hadn’t given it much thought. Normally he’d reply with how much he couldn’t stand a person, about how they were stupid or annoying but with Marinette the longer he thought about her the more complex his feelings got.

He didn’t hate her; he quite liked her intelligence but that certainly didn’t mean he was in love with her either. His feelings for her were a mixed bag of explosives.

He admired her tenacity; she was a new kind of stubborn that he wasn’t used to dealing with. Kindness was something he was taught to exploit and that it was useless, that it was used to garner favors or sympathy and the such. Marinette never used it in such a way though, she was a fountain of unreasonable kindness. She baffled him.

She treated everyone kindly, no matter who they were or what they had done. Including himself, he’d been rude to her the first time they’d met, and she never let it get to her. She told him she wasn’t trying to be friends with him for his money, or family name and he only huffed in response which prompted her to glare at him in a way that rivalled Dick’s own disappointed expressions.

Though that didn’t mean she let others walk over her. He had seen her deliver tongue lashings to people who were rude, she glared at them until either they apologized or walked away. The first time he’d seen her stare at someone else, other than himself in disappointment was an interesting experience to witness.

She was truly something else entirely. She had gained his respect and that was hard to accomplish.

The first time he’d called her by her first name came to mind, her smiling face. It was one of triumph and elation, he didn’t even realize it was a memory he cherished until now.

Marinette was someone he cared about, romantically, and he hadn’t even realized that until just now.

“I care about her.” He whispered; dazed by the revelation.

Dick snorted and laughed. “That’s not really new news, though I’m glad you care about her.”

“I hate you.” He groaned. Dick gave him a droll smirk. “I—”

“You?” His brother badgered, ginning like a fool. He let out a sigh, controlling the urge to smack him.

“I don’t know, honestly.” He sighed. He’d rather not admit to him or out loud that he had romantic feelings for Marinette. “I could grow to like her.” He admitted softly after a moment. He refused to acknowledge Dick, who had started humming in a knowing falsetto.

#maribat #daminette #graphic depictions of violence #tw: description of gore #im so sorry yall

[sytycdinternational]

Eurovision 2021 pre-show ranking #26 - #1

I know the rehearsals are already out but I’m not gonna take them into account for this ranking since I might as well just do a ranking of the actual broadcasted live performances then. Ideally the following songs would be part of my dream final on Saturday. #39-#25

26. VICTORIA - Growing Up Is Getting Old - Bulgaria 🇧🇬: I begrudgingly accept Victoria's decision choosing this over "imaginary friend" (she seemed to have visible troubles singing it live after all) but gosh, it’s kind of hard for me to warm up to this. "imaginary friend" figuratively moved me to another plane of existence. I do think this song has the perfect set up for some amazing staging. (2020/2021)

25. Blind Channel - Dark Side - Finland 🇫🇮: Yesss Finland, give me that darkness. I wish I could unhear the lyrics tho because it’s teetering pretty close to edge territory. Okay, I guess it has crossed that threshold long ago, but still, rock songs are a rarity on this show that I will cherish no matter their flaws. (2020/2021)

24. Hurricane - LOCO LOCO - Serbia 🇷🇸: They’ve come to slay like a tropical weather phenomenon. I can already see the shreds of their fellow competitors lining their path. (2020/2021)

23. Blas Cantó - Voy A Quedarme - Spain 🇪🇸: It took a tone-downed, more intimate acoustic version for  this me to connect with this song, but somehow it managed to flip a  switch and now I get incredibly emotional even when I listen to the  official version. I’d definitely prefer the acoustic version to be performed on the actual show though. (2020/2021)

22. Jeangu Macrooy - Birth Of A New Age - The Netherlands 🇳🇱: The lyrics feel refreshingly meaningful. It fills me with real warmth and good vibes as a whole. (2020/2021)

21. Anxhela Peristeri - Karma - Albania 🇦🇱: Albania is bringing drama and I’m living for it. Very effective revamp to make the song more memorable. (2020/2021)

20. Samanta Tina - The Moon is Rising - Latvia 🇱🇻: What’s up with that dreadful “eh EH eh EH” background track?? It’s driving me up the wall. Still, I’m floored by Samanta’s powerful vocals. It’s a pity the final misses the actual blood moon occurence, the lunar ecplise on May 26 by a few days. Oh well, it’s not like it can be seen from Europe this time anyway. (2020/2021)

19. The Roop - Discoteque - Lithuania 🇱🇹: The Roop really took their song from last year and turned it dark and in order to balance it out they changed the colors of their outfits to bright yellow. During all this some of the hypnotic qualities of “On Fire” was lost but the new song is still lots of quirky fun. (2020/2021)

18. Ana Soklič - Amen - Slovenia 🇸🇮: Simply glorious. What a woman, what a voice. The way the song develops is bombastic. (2020/2021)

17. Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR - Moldova 🇲🇩: The refrain and the rest of the song sound so mismatched to me lol. Still, the contrast between the bright sugary visuals and somewhat darkish, even sinister tone of the music is doing it for me. (2020/2021)

16. Montaigne - Technicolour - Australia 🇦🇺:  I can’t stand “Don’t Break Me”, so Montaigne doing a 180 degree turn  was well appreciated. This sounds sooo difficult to sing so total props  for that. Hope she nails it during the liveshows. (2020/2021)

15. Lesley Roy - Maps - Ireland 🇮🇪: This gives me enough energy to travel the Irish plains all on my own. Gosh, I miss travelling. (2020/2021)

14. The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side - Portugal 🇵🇹: Never got the hype  for “Dancing in the Stars“, so if Portugal had to send a song in English  I’m glad it ended up being this one. I love Tatanka’s raspy voice and  the song just oozes style as a whole. I was surprised how bittersweet the lyrics actually are after listening more closely and that makes me like it even more. (2020/2021)

13. Måneskin - Zitti E Buoni - Italy 🇮🇹: F*CK ME UP. I have high hopes for you, Italy. Also  I’m totally over the fact that Irama was not able to perform live on  San Remo this year due to Covid-related issues and thus surrendered any  realistic chances of "La genesi del tuo colore" taking the win and  competing on ESC, I swear I am *sobs* (2020/2021)

12. Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years - Iceland 🇮🇸: That bait and switch at the start kills me. I also unironically like this a lot more than “Think About Things”. (2020/2021)

11. Manizha - Russian Woman - Russia 🇷🇺:  Are my ears deceiving me? A Russian entry that is NOT an inoffensive  pop ballad in English playing it totally safe? I guess Little Big for  2020 was not an anomaly after all. I LOVE the traditional-sounding  chanting used for the chorus and the energy is infectious. (2020/2021)

10. Efendi - Mata Hari - Azerbaijan 🇦🇿: Another entry, another banger. I love her harsh pronounciation of the lyrics. (2020/2021)

9. Destiny - Je Me Casse - Malta 🇲🇹: Talk about a glow-up from last year. Malta is absolutely bringing the funk and the sass. (2020/2021)

8. Vasil - Here I Stand - North Macedonia 🇲🇰:  This song is FEELINGS and I totally feel it! Ugh, I’m such a softie for  heartfelt, breaking-down-your-emotional-walls-type of songs. (2020/2021)

7. Eden Alene - Set Me Free - Israel 🇮🇱:  The revamp catapulted this song from the very bottom of my list to this  spot. It’s little things like the inflection after “on my own” among  others that make this song such a joy to listen to. So many little  details to explore. (2020/2021)

6. Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo - Cyprus 🇨🇾:  Another year, another powerhouse of a song by Cyprus. This is my favorite by far out of the last few years though, even surpassing  “Fuego”, judging alone by the song itself. The drop literally takes my breath away. (2020/2021)

5. Albina - Tick-Tock - Croatia 🇭🇷: Who knew Croatia would deliver the catchiest beat this year? (2020/2021)

4. Stefania - Last Dance - Greece 🇬🇷:  Say hello to Dua Lipa “Physical”’s long-lost sister. And just like the  former I have the latter playing non-stop. I have yet to get sick of it.  It gets me so pumped up, I love it. (2020/2021)

3. Gjon's Tears - Tout l’Univers - Switzerland 🇨🇭: Sensitive.  Sublime. Majestic. It was like witnessing the ocean at high and low  tide. At one moment deceivingly calm, the next I’m swept away by a  riptide of thundering sounds and delicious falsetto. (2020/2021)

2. Go_A - SHUM - Ukraine 🇺🇦: I literally spasmed out in ecstatic bliss when I first listened to this. I think it was some kind of combination of Kateryna's piercing vocals that strike right through my hear, the intoxicating ethnic elements and droning bass, all delivered at an ever increasing speed that drove me into a literal ethno-rave-fuelled frenzy. (2020/2021)

1. Barbara Pravi - Voilà - France 🇫🇷: The first time I saw Barbara’s national final performance I was transfixed. I was clinging to every word escaping her lips, my heart almost stopping at each moment my ears weren't filled with her angelic voice. I was flooded with all kinds of emotions, particularly with an existential longing for something I couldn’t possibly describe.  Excellent use of monochrome lighting and costumes as well which I’m sure was supposed to emulate the feeling of black-and-white films of the past. (2020/2021)

Predicting the results:

Qualifiers #1 Semi-Final:

Australia

Azerbaijan

Cyprus

Israel 

Lithuania

Malta

Norway

Russia 

Sweden

Ukraine

Belgium

Croatia

Ireland

North Macedonia

Romania

Slovenia 

Qualifiers #2 Semi-Final:

Albania 

Bulgaria

Finland 

Greece

Iceland 

Portugal

San Marino

Serbia

Switzerland

Austria 

Czech Republic

Denmark

Estonia

Georgia 

Latvia

Moldova 

Poland

#ESC 2021 #Eurovision #Eurovision2021 #ESC2021 #Eurovision 2021 #rankings #text