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skulduggery-pleasant-bp9 · 8 months

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Playing with a Coroner and a Detective is not wise - Skulduggery x Male!Reader Universe

WARNING!: Anger issued Reader, cursing, threatening, mild violence, Fergus x Beryl (They are really people responsible for snger issues) AND MORE ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !

Part 1 - Gordon’s Testament

Gordon was dead and the Edgley Family was with Gordon’s lawyer, to hear who inherited what. Fergus, Beryl, Carol and Crystal were VERY impatient, while they had to wait for two more people.

“Can’t we just start without them already ?!”, Beryl demanded like a spoiled brat.

“No, we have to wait for the last two people.”, Mr. Fedgewick answered nervously.

Then a man, face completely covered in a scarf, hat and sunglasses, entered.

“I apologize for my lateness, it really didn’t get sooner.”, the man excused himself.

“You are ?”, Fergus asked with annoyance.

“Skulduggery Pleasant.”, the covered man answered.

Beryl scoffed and looked at Melissa and Desmond.

“Of course YOUR brat will be late ! At such an important day he HAS to be late !”, she yelled.

“Don’t talk about my Brother like that.”, Stephanie defended.

Then Melissa’s phone rang and she sighed in relief as she saw her Son’s name appear. She answered and put him on speaker.

“Hello, Son. Where are you ?”, she asked worried.

“Hey Mom ! I am so sorry ! I forgot to bring something to my workplace and had to go there to turn it in, because it was due for today. Then I wanted to drive straight to Mr. Fedgewick’s and meet you all there, but I am stuck in traffic. A car accident happened and I am stuck in here. I will need another 10 to 15 minutes to get out of here. Do you think you can wait that long ? Otherwise I am fine with you all hearing Uncle’s Will without me. It will be saddening that I am not there, but this was really unexpected and I am unsure how long Mr. Fedgewick will have time. He probably has other clients too...”, a teenage boy’s voice explained.

Before Beryl and Fergus could snarl at Fedgewick, to read the Will already, Stephanie replied.

“We can wait. This reading means a lot to you and you are Family too.”

Melissa nodded and smiled at her, while Stephanie’s Aunt and Uncle scoffed in hatred.

“She is right, Son. Just be careful and don’t drive too fast, yes ?”, Melissa said worried.

“I will be careful, Mom. I will be there soon. I am really sorry, that I am so late today. Usually I am always the first one to arrive and this is just embarrassing...”

“It could have happened to anyone, Son. Don’t sweat it. I stuck a lot in traffic and came late to work and meetings. No one was ever mad at me for it.”, Desmond replied happily.

The boy chuckled.

“Thanks, Dad. I love you two, see you soon. And Steph...when I arrive there, you better give me back my SD card.”

Stephanie chuckled.

“I have it in my bag.”

“Good.”

With that they hung up and waited a bit more.

-Twenty minutes later-

He cursed as he ran through the corridors and to the office. Why had this to happen to him at this day ?! Got he could beat himself up about this right now ! He soon arrived at the door and knocked gently.

“Come in !”, Fedgewick’s voice called.

He opened the door and breathed heavily, then entered and closed the door, taking off his coat.

“I am so very sorry that I am late. Traffic was a nightmare. The police gave my side two minutes to pass, while the other got ten. The traffic lights were broken and there was a nasty car accident, so police had to deal with it. Did I miss anything important already ?”, the Teenager asked.

“Are you M/n Edgley ?”, Fedgewick asked.

“Yes, that is me. Do you need my ID ? I have brought it with me, in case.”, M/n replied.

Fedgewick nodded and M/n quickly got out his purse and pulled out his ID card. He gave it to Fedgewick and he checked it over, after that he nodded and gave it back to him.

“Well then, FINALLY we can start.”, Beryl replied pissed and glared at M/n.

M/n scoffed as he sat down.

“Shut it, woman, you are the most disrespectful person here. If I were you, I would be praying that I even got something from my Brother in law. For your personality, I wouldn’t be surprised if he would only give you a boot to the head.”, he replied to her comment.

“You little shit ! Respect your elders !”, she yelled.

“You are older than me ? Then fucking act like it. All I see is a spoiled little brat that is a five year old. You aren’t older than me.”, he scoffed.

“Why YOU-?!”

“Anyways. Now that I am here, let us start, yes ? I still have so much paperwork to do...”, M/n said slightly saddened and rudely interrupting Beryl.

Just then he spotted Skulduggery Pleasant and he gave the person a smile.

“I think we haven’t met before. My apologies, that I didn’t notice you, Sir. My name is M/n Edgley. What is yours, if I may ?”

“It is nice to meet you Mr. Edgley. My name is Skulduggery Pleasant.”, the man covered in a scarf, sunglasses and had said, nodding his head in respect.

“Ah, Uncle talked a bit about you. His best friend, as much, as I recall. Nice to finally see you in person. I was worried that Gordon was messing with me at this point, given I never saw you around.”

The man chuckled.

“I was pretty busy, but came to visit often.”, he replied.

“Ah, that explains it. The job must be pretty serious then, otherwise you would have a lot of time. Every job is different after all.”, M/n said smiling.

Skulduggery nodded.

“He is a weirdo. Who covers their face like this ?”, Fergus scoffed in disgust.

M/n’s smile fell and it turned into an annoyed glare.

“Believe it or not, Mr. Snotty 24/7, there are people that are VERY insecure about their looks and rather hide them. From where would YOU know, what this Gentleman went through, huh ? Maybe he had a terrible accident and his face got it worst or he was attacked once and barely made it out alive or he was born a bit weird looking, that he started to hate it. Who the flying FUCK are YOU, to judge people that hide their face, hmm ?”, M/n snarled back in disrespect, getting fed up with his and his Wife’s attitude.

“You little-!”

“Now then, I deeply apologize for these Crack heads. Can we start ? I fear if I stay any longer with them in here, I will start a scene. I never got along with these people.”, M/n asked kindly and rudely interrupted Fergus.

Stephanie smiled in amusement and Fedgewick chuckled slightly.

“You are almost like Gordon was. Honest and still humorous.”, the lawyer said.

“What can I say ? I take more after him. I liked the way he was as a person and looked slightly up to him. Thanks to him, I am the person I am today.”, M/n said happily.

Stephanie, her parents and Fedgewick smiled at that, while the other half of the Edgley Family glared at him. Then Fedgewick started to give them all his condolences, with Baryl interrupted rudely, wanting to cut straight to the chase, which made M/n lose his smile yet again. He turned to her.

“Shut the fuck up, will you ? Here are people that cared about Gordon. Just because you don’t, doesn’t that mean, that you can tell anyone what to do. If you don’t wanna hear it, then get the fuck out. No one wants to hear your snotty, bratty attitude.”

“How about you learn manners ?!”, Fergus yelled.

“How about you look in a mirror and take your own advice, Fergus ? You, your Wife and your children are all VERY disrespectful. So shut the fuck up and if you don’t like it, get the fuck out. No one wants to hear you, you Gold diggers.”, M/n snarled back in hatred.

“You little adopted shit !”, Carol yelled.

M/n glared at her.

“You, better bake VERY little buns right now, you little Bitch. Get involved again and I might make you shut up in a way you won’t like.”, he threatened darkly.

“Is that a threat towards my daughter ?!”, Beryl yelled.

“Yes, it is ! You all apparently didn’t learn any manners as children, so I might as well, smack her across the face if she keeps it up ! You two grown up idiots can’t even raise your own kids properly !”, M/n hollered.

Stephanie got up and went over to her older, adopted, Brother. She pulled him into a hug, while he continued to glare at the wedded couple with hatred and disgust.

“Calm down, M/n... They aren’t worth it.”, she tried to calm him down.

“I can’t do this anymore, Stephanie ! Everywhere we go or show up with them, they are like this ! They treat everyone like utter shit and think they are the most perfect people ever ! I am sick and tired of it ! All they do is embarrass us ! God, every time we go somewhere with these people, I am in second hand embarrassment ! I have to pretend that I don’t even KNOW them, with their disgusting attitude ! I’m sick and tired of it !”

At that everyone was dead silent. M/n was pissed off and that rightfully.

“I HATE them ! All they do is care about themselves ! They never cared about Uncle Gordon and now they demand to get something from him ?! I hope they get close to nothing from him !”, he yelled.

Stephanie hugged M/n tighter and he hugged back, tears coming to his eyes. No one could tell if it was from rage or sadness, but it, none the less, made everyone go silent at once, while Stephanie was there for him.

After a while, she parted and pulled her chair next to him, so she was close, in case he had another rage episode. M/n was always short tempered and quick to rage when Fergus and Beryl were around with their kids. It wasn’t always like that, but one day, they were just toxic to each other and M/n wanted nothing to do with them since, only if necessary, did he spend time with them. And with necessary, it meant when Melissa forced him to stay and spend time with the whole Family.

“Excuse me...please continue.”, M/n got out with a quiet voice.

He was still calming down, but Fedgewick nodded and started with opening the Testament. Again giving his condolences and everything, this time, no one interrupted him, in fear M/n will lash out again.

Skulduggery kept a close eye on M/n. The Teenager seemed to be between 15 and 18 years of age and he seemed very sad.

Then Fedgewick read out what Beryl and Fergus got.

His Car, boat and a little present. As they asked what the present was, in excitement, he opened a small box and in it laid a brooch. It looked old, but M/n, none the less, smirked.

Gordon’s car wasn’t worth much to sell, the brooch was old and pretty, but not much worth and then the boat. It was a small one and also not worth much, because it was old and needed some work to look better.

M/n would have laughed, if he wouldn’t feel so incredibly sad at the same time. His Uncle was dead. He always brightened up his day after work, always knew what to do with him...He was the best and he left. Why couldn’t someone from Fergus’ side have died ? They were always rude and mean...and they only cared about the money Gordon made anyways. They didn’t like M/n either and they never helped, nor supported him, in anything he did.

It was unfair !

After that, they tried to know what else they got, but that was all, which made Beryl wail. M/n scoffed and stared at her with darkness in his eyes.

“Kindly get out of the room and cry. As many say in my workplace ‘Cry silently, Chantalle.’”, M/n scoffed. (In my school we knew that term, please don’t take it as offense, whoever knows a Chantalle ! We just had that saying !)

Fedgewick then looked at Skulduggery Pleasant and read out a small text that Gordon wrote down. He left the man only an advice.

“Your path is yours alone and I don't want to dissuade you, but sometimes we find the greatest enemy within ourselves and fight the greatest battles against the darkness within. A storm is coming and sometimes the key to safe harbor remains hidden from us. Sometimes, however, it is right in front of our eyes.”

Everyone stared at Skulduggery with wide eyes, besides M/n. He was very interested in that advice. It sounded more like a riddle he had to solve. M/n got out his phone, opened Word and then wrote the whole thing down quickly. He will figure this out ! His Uncle was very cryptic, but he knew for a fact that this was a riddle. He will solve it !

Stephanie looked at her older Brother and saw that he typed it all down quickly. So he thought it was important and a riddle to solve. She knew, from the moment this stranger entered the office, that there was something about him. Something mysterious and dangerous.

M/n stuffed his phone back into his pocket as he finished and waited for the rest to snap out of their momentum. Skulduggery only nodded silently. Fergus then told his Wife that they were at least lucky enough to get the few things Gordon had, instead of some stupid advice. She just hissed at him to be silent, which made him cower away.

“He is right, be grateful, Beryl. And you know what the best part is ? This Gentleman is taking it with dignity and respect. Just an advice and yet, he accepts this and doesn’t whine about it. I understand why he liked you, Mr. Pleasant.”, M/n said smiling.

Skulduggery chuckled softly and nodded.

“Thank you. His advices are greatly appreciated. I need them a lot.”, he replied.

M/n smiled.

“My Uncle was cool in that way, aren’t I right ? He helped me with these a lot too.”

“Hah ! A Team member then, huh ?”, he asked jokingly.

“Seems so.”, M/n chuckled.

Then Melissa and Desmond had their turn. He joked about leaving Desmond his Wife, that he successfully took away from Gordon. Of course it was a joke. They were saddened a bit and then Fedgewick read out that Desmond also inherited his Villa in France.

Beryl made a scene at that, while Fergus wanted her to stop her tantrum. She went on about how much worth it is and it made M/n’s blood boil.

“Fergus, put her on a leash, before I snap and slap her so hard that she will see starts, pass out and wake up in a hospital.”, M/n growled out pissed.

Fergus grew worried. M/n never threatened to hurt Beryl.

“Beryl, please calm down...”

“NO !”

M/n snapped up and stalked towards her.

“You shut your ugly trap right now ! Otherwise you won’t like the outcome, Bitch ! I warned you multiple times that I am VERY close to snap at you ! Sit your fat ass down and shut it !”, M/n screamed.

“You are my Nephew ! You have to RESPECT ME YO-!”

SLAP !

The whole room was dead silent and Beryl looked at her left, eyes wide in shock, while her right cheek formed a red handprint. M/n glared at her, his hand still in position to give her a backhand slap too. M/n looked livid.

“I. Said. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, BITCH !”, M/n screamed at her pissed off.

She whimpered and sat down instantly, tears in her eyes.

“Just WHY do we have to deal with people like YOU, Beryl ?! My GOD are you ANNOYING and OBSESSED with showing off and money ! No wonder Uncle Gordon didn’t want you to have anything too expensive ! Such an ungrateful woman like you, I have NEVER met in my LIFE !”, M/n raged.

Stephanie quickly pulled him to his chair and hugged him tightly again. She was his anchor, when he let his rage consume him.

“DON’T mess with my Family, Bitch ! They deserved the Villa, because they CARED about Gordon as a PERSON, not some fucking PAYCHECK !”

“We are Family too, M/n.”, Fergus said softly.

“NO YOU ARE NOT ! I WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU AS A PART OF MY FAMILY ! ALL YOU EVER DID WAS HATE UNCLE GORDON ! YOU !!! HIS OWN FUCKING BROTHER !! GO TO HELL, FERGUS !”, M/n yelled in rage and pure hatred.

He looked away, scared for his life.

“M/n, Brother, remember what the psychologist said a few years ago, yeah ? Don’t let your rage consume you. Take deep breaths. Relax. No one is hurt. We are all fine. Remember what Uncle Gordon said, yes ?”, she whispered into his ear.

M/n’s rage was gone in a flash as she mentioned Gordon. His eyes went wide and then he hugged her back, tears again in his eyes.

“S-sorry, Steph...”, he muttered out.

“It’s okay. Just stay calm, okay ? No one is hurt and we won’t have to endure them that long anymore, okay ? After this testament is over, we can leave and have some bobba tea, okay ?”

He nodded with a small smile and sat down again, this time Stephanie sat on his lap, to keep him grounded.

“Is he always like this ? No judgment, just curious.”, Skulduggery asked softly.

Melissa and Desmond looked at him worried, while Stephanie felt like she had to answer him.

“Only if someone hurts us, threatens us or if Beryl and Fergus are around him with their kids. He is very overprotective of Family and he hates people that see his Family as an object, they can use. So he gets pissed off very easily.”, she answered softly.

M/n wrapped his arms around his little Sister and hid his face in her left shoulder, still trying to calm down. She felt that he was shaking. Skulduggery only nodded at that. He knew that kind of rage and protectiveness. It has been a while since he saw someone, who was just like he used to be.

“Can we please just continue ?”, M/n asked softly.

Stephanie rubbed M/n’s hands softly, to help him calm down. Fedgewick looked back down at the paper and continued to read, understanding that M/n got more and more unstable.

“With all that sorted out, I want to come to my Niece and Nephew now.”, he read out loud.

M/n and Stephanie looked at him with wide eyes. They will also inherit something ? Is Uncle Gordon serious ?

“I regret that I never had children of my own, but at the same time I felt lucky that I never had any, if I think at what Fergus and Beryl produced.”, he contined to read out.

M/n smirked and Stephanie had to keep her chuckle in.

“Although I have to admit that I saw Steph and M/n like my own kids at some point, sorry Melissa and Desmond, but I had to be honest. M/n, I know that you are adopted and that you always felt like, you weren’t good enough for anyone. That you felt like you never tried or did enough, but I promise you, you are enough. You do enough. You try enough. I know you are only 16 years of age, but you already finished school and college with 13 years of age, thanks to your incredible intelligence. I am proud of you and of how far you have come in such little time. And as you know, I let you move in with me, so you have more space to work and storage notes in and for Stephanie to finally have a bigger room to herself. I don’t want you to move out, so I decided, since you and Steph were both like my own kids that you have to share my house together.”

Their eyes went wide and M/n smiled happily. He was already worried where he should go that had enough space for him to work even from home, but now, this was a blessing to him. And he will share it with his little Sister ! He hugged her tightly, he didn’t mind sharing, all he wanted was for her to own the house too and he was happy they both own it now.

“Stephanie, my wonderful niece, I hope you aren’t all that mad with that decision. I want to give you also a few words, before I reveal what else YOU alone will inherit. The world is bigger, than you think, and scarier, as you can imagine. The only currency, that is worth something, is that, you always stay loyal to yourself, and the only goal, that is worth going for, is to find out, who you really are.”, Fedgewick read out.

She was giving a sad smile, while M/n smiled at her too, saddened, but with slight joy for her.

“Make your parents proud and take care, that they are lucky, to have you, because I am leaving to you all of my possessions, my financial assets and my royalties. They shall with the day, you’ll turn eighteen, be transferred to you. I want to use this opportunity and tell you, that I love you all in my very own way, even those, that I don’t like very much. I mean you with that, Beryl.”

Beryl scoffed softly, but instantly cowered away as M/n glared at her, with a dark promise.

“Before we end this whole testament, I want to remind you of something, M/n.”, Fedgewick continued to read out.

M/n snapped his attention back to him, listening.

“We all know you have serious anger issues and you are very overprotective, maybe even a bit territorial, of the Family. Anything bad, no matter how small, sets you off into a raging storm and that goes to Family only. Remember what I told you. No matter how outraged you get, try to keep a clear head for me, okay ? Rage can make you blind and you could lash out, doing or saying something, you didn’t mean to. Rage makes you think illogically, so please, always try to stay calm enough to take in your surroundings. Think, before you act. I know you are a very smart and clever boy, so please use that head of yours. I know you will miss me terribly, because now you have no one that will help you out, when you are stuck or stressed out, so I thought of something small, but don’t have too much hope on it.”

M/n listened very carefully and he was confused. What was his Uncle planning ?

“I bet you met Skulduggery Pleasant, my friend that I told you a bit about. You two have almost similar jobs. I ask of Skulduggery, as a very good friend, to give you his phone number. He might be able to help you in some problems you are going to be stuck in. And no, Skul, I don’t mean any physical problems, I mean in his job, some problems. After all...your jobs are almost the same. Please help him out when he asks for your help. I trust you enough for this. I love you all and I hope you will live happily.”, Fedgewick finished and took off his glasses.

M/n was surprised and Skulduggery seemed to be too.

“Similar jobs, huh ?”, Skulduggery asked.

“What kind of job, M/n ?”, Melissa asked.

M/n felt himself sweating at that question.

“Marketing ! I got promoted and I do marketing stuff now and I design websites. I didn’t know Mr. Pleasant had something similar to it.”, he lied quickly.

Skulduggery seemed to pick up on it, while the others blindly believed him.

“Ah, yes. I do something quite similar. I am surprised you do such a job as well.”, he replied, playing along.

“You might have some tricks that I don’t know of. Can’t wait to learn from them.”, M/n played it off.

“Of course.”

Stephanie got up and M/n stood up as well. Beryl threw a fit and M/n raced out of the room, wishing Fedgewick a nice day and thanking him for everything. Skulduggery was close behind him.

“Alright.”, M/n said as he was alone with the mysterious man.

“What are you actually doing for a job ?”, M/n asked.

“You say yours first.”, Skulduggery replied.

“I work as a Coroner.”, M/n answered honestly.

Skulduggery was stunned into silence.

“You, a Coroner ?”

“Yep. I worked and studied very hard for it and with 13 years I got the job. I have been very good since, but there are newly some...clients that seem to have died...weirdly. Or better...murdered....weirdly... Any time I was stuck and couldn’t make sense of it, Gordon helped me. He made me relax and then we talked about it, then he came up with conclusions and at least one of them was always right.”, M/n explained.

“You are sixteen and you work as a Coroner ?”, he repeated.

“I had to grow up way faster than others. When you lived on the streets for a while and saw horror at its worst, as a kid none the less, you don’t get scared that easily anymore when you work with corpses.”, M/n said slightly monotone.

“Oh dear... I work as a Detective.”, Skulduggery answered softly.

M/n stared at the masked man in surprise.

“Huh. Uncle was right then. We have similar jobs. You solve the Crime and who did it, while I inspect the corpses and what killed them.”

“Seems so.”

“Though, I bet you do a different Detective job, because I’ve never seen, nor heard of you around here before. So I guess you work on ‘special’ cases. Am I right ?”

“You can call it that.”, Skulduggery confirmed.

“Okay... I have some ‘special’ cases sometimes, that the Crime police doesn’t want to waste their time on, because they think it is stupid or too much of a hassle. I can send you one and you could tell me if that would fall into your categories of ‘special’ cases.”, M/n offered.

“That would be a good idea.”

“Well then...phone number ? I could send you pictures of the reports then.”

“Oh, right.”

Skulduggery pulled out a pen and paper and wrote down his phone number, then he gave it to M/n.

“Thank you, Sir.”

“If we work together a few times, just call me Skulduggery. Sir makes me feel older than I am.”

“Okay, Skulduggery. I will text you later, when I have the reports.”

“Splendid.”

Then Skulduggery looked at his pocket watch and sighed.

“Well, I have to get going to work now.”, he told the Teen.

He was about to leave as M/n stopped him.

“Hey.”

“Yes ?”, Skulduggery asked.

“If you need help or something, tell me, yeah ? I might look like I don’t know a lot, but I know more than anyone thinks. If you are stuck on something, tell me and I’ll try to help. Helping goes both ways, after all.”, M/n said softly, with a kind smile.

Skulduggery felt touched.

“I will. Same goes to you. If you are in ANY trouble, call me. I will come to help.”

“Any trouble ? Even physical ones ?”, M/n asked softly.

“Any trouble. That includes physical trouble. If you feel watched or are being followed, call me and I will come.”

M/n smiled brighter and nodded.

“I will, thank you.”

“You are welcome. After all, Coroner is just as much of a dangerous job, as a Detective one’s is.”

With that Skulduggery left and M/n felt a bit touched. He understood now why Gordon liked this guy.

Masterlist HERE !

#skulduggery pleasant #derek landy #male!reader #not the canon au #read warnings above #valkyrie cain #my au #skulduggery pleasant x reader universe #Gordon Edgley #Stephanie Edgley #Family Edgley #Fergus #Beryl #Carol #Crystal #Mr. Fedgewick #Playing with a Coroner and a Detective is not wise - Skulduggery x Male!Reader Universe #Part 1 - Gordon’s Testament

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incorrectspquotes · 1 year

Conversation

Skulduggery: I love a good murder.

Gordon: Solving a good murder.

Skulduggery: That's what I said.

#skulduggery pleasant #gordon edgley #skulduggery #source: white collar

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yakionasworld · 5 months

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Uncle Gordon and little Stephanie.....and Golden Freddy

story time

#skulduggery pleasant #skulduggery #art #Gordon Edgley #drawing #ijustfuckinglikegoldenfreddy

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sp-fanclub · 3 months

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#skulduggery pleasant #gordon edgley

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totallyawesomeomens · 2 years

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I think Skulduggery’s and Gordon’s friendship was meant to happen because when Skulduggerry tells a joke and nobod laughs he assumes they didn’t understand it and explains it, and when Gordon tells a joke and nobody laughs, he assumes nobody heard him and tells it again

#skulduggery pleasant #gordon edgley #armageddon outta here #the horror writers' halloween ball

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nicstylus · 1 year

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And with that, the couch series comes to an end o7

#skulduggery pleasant fanart #skulduggery pleasant #billy ray sanguine #dexter vex #gordon edgley #fanart #stylus #nic stylus

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brainwrongbutalive · 1 year

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#skulduggery pleasant #Gordon edgley #I have no clue how to spell their last name

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bluseum · 2 years

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also why is everyone in the skellington book called [place name] [latin word] [adjective]

Derek very evidently names characters like any good lazy D&D player, random name generators and dictionaries. He doesn't seem to see a problem with

Abyssinia

Adam Brate

Adedayo Akinde

Adrasdos

Adrian Sykes

Adrienna Shade

Ajuoga

Alan

Alan (Boyle Solutions)

Alan Brennan

Alena Metz

Alesha Walsh

Alexander Remit

Alexander Slake

Alice Edgley

Aloysius Vespers

Amalia

Amity

Amity's Wife

Anathem Mire

The Ancients

Anguish

Anna

Annie Brennan

Anton Shudder

Arabella Wicked

Argeddion

Argento

Argus

Armiger Fop

Arthur Dagan

Ashione

Ashley Hubbard

Aspen

Assegai

Category:Assistants

Audoen

Auger Darkly

Aurnia

Auron Tenebrae

Aurora Jane

Category:Australians

Avatar

Avaunt

Axelia Lukt

Axle

Azzedine Smoke

Badstreet

Bagatelle

Baritone

Baron Vengeous

Bartholomew

Basher

Batu

The Beast

Bennet Troth

Benzel Travestine

Bernadette Maguire

Bernard Sult

Bertrand Solus

Beryl Edgley

Billy-Ray Sanguine

Binder Firm

Bison Dragonclaw

Black Annis

Boiler

Brennock

Brides of Blood Tears

Bridget

Brobding

Brock

Bruno

Bubba Moon

Burgundy Dalrymple

The Butcher

Byron Grace

Cadaver Cain

Cadaverous Gant

Caelan

Caisson

Caius Caviler

Cameron Light

Cark

Carol Edgley

Carol Edgley (Reflection)

Cassandra Pharos

Caste

Cathy

Cathy (The Button)

Category:Cats

Cerise

Ceryen

Cerys

Charivari

Charlie Smith

Child of the Faceless

China Sorrows

China's Assistant

China's Grandmother

Chrissy Brennan

Christophe Nocturnal

Civet

Clagge

Clarabelle

Cleaver

Clement Gale

Clerihew Montgomery

Coda Quell

Colleen Stint

Collup

Colm Muldoon

Conor Delaney

Corrival Deuce

Cothernus Ode

Crab

Craddock Sirroco

Crasher

Crepuscular Vies

Creyfon Signate

Crystal Edgley

Cu na Gealaí Duibhe

Dacanay

Daffyd Maybury

Dai Maybury

Daisy

Damocles Creed

Danny

Darian Vector

Darquesse

Dasher

Daveth Maybury

Davina Marr

Davit Maybury

Davon Maybury

Deacon Maybury

Death Monkey

Dedrich Wahrheit

Delafonte Mien

Desmond Edgley

Destrier

Detective Harris

Devoted

Dexter Vex

Dicer

Dima

Dionysus Pertinax

Doctor Whorl

Donegan Bane

Doran Purcell

Dragunov

Dreylan Scarab

Dubhóg Ni Broin

Duenna

The Dullahan

Dusk

Eachan Meritorious

Eamon Campbell

Eamon Pearce

Ed Stynes

Eddie Sullivan

Edgley Tempest

Edwina

Eliza Scorn

Elsie O'Brien

Elwood Satchel

Emmeline Darkly

Emmett Peregrine

Category:End of the World characters

Category:Energy-Throwers

The Engineer

Ephraim Tungsten

Erskine Ravel

Esryn Vanguard

Etta Faulkner

Evoric Cudgel

Faceless Ones

Father Reynolds

Fergus Edgley

Ferrente Rhadaman

Filament Sclavi

Finbar Wrong

Fintan Muldoon

Flaring

Fletcher Renn

Flint

Forby

Frightening Jones

Gall

Gary Price

Gavin Praetor

Ged

Category:Generals

Geoffrey Scrutinous

Gepard

Gepard Voke

Geraint Mizzle

Gerontius

Ghastly Bespoke

Ghastly Bespoke's father

Ghastly Bespoke's mother

Gladys

Glass

Gleeman Shakespeare

Gordon Edgley

Grace Kelly

Gracious O'Callahan

Graft

Gratio Erato

Gregory Castallan

Gregory Day

Greta Dapple

Griff

Grim

The Grotesquery

Gruesome Krav

Habergeon

Hansard Kray

Hapathy

Harmony

Hayley Skirmish

Hidalgo Bolt

Hieronymus Deadfall

Hoc

Hokum Pete

Hollow Men

Hopeless

Horts

The Hound

Hrishi

Hutchinson

Ian Moore

Ieni

Illori Reticent

Imogen

Infected

Isara

Isidora Splendour

Ivy

Jack Irons

Jackie Earl

Jajo Prave

James Hubbard

Jaron Gallow

Jason Randal

Jasper

Jenan Ispolin

Jeremiah Wallow

Jerry Houlihan

Jerry Ordain

Jethro

The Jitter Girls

Johann Starke

Joost

Kaiven

Kallista Pendragon

Kalvin Accord

Karrik

Kase

Kathryn Ether

Keir Tanner

Keith

Kenny Dunne

Kenspeckle Grouse

Keratin

Kes

Kierre of the Unveiled

Kiln

Kimora

Kitana Kellaway

Korb

Kribu

Krull

Kumo

Laken Cross

Lamour

Lapse

Larks

Larrikin

Lenka Bazaar

Levitt

Liam Muldoon

Lightning Dave

Lillian Agog

Lily

Lord Vile

Lorenzo Mult

Lorien

Luciana

Luke Skywalker

Madame Mist

Madcap Fenton

Magenta

Mahala

Maksy

Mandat

Mantis

Martin Flanery

Master

Maverick Reels

Melancholia St Clair

Melissa Edgley

Mellifluous Golding

Memphis

Mercy Charient

Merriwyn Hyphenate-Bash

Metric

Mevolent

Midnight Blue

Militsa Gnosis

Minion One and Minion Two

Mirk

Misery

Miss Nuncio

Moloch

Moribund

Mortal

Morven

Morwenna Crow

Mr Chou

Mr. Bliss

Mr. Fedgewick

Mr. Jib

Mud

Mulct

Murder Rose

Muriel Hubbard

Myosotis Terra

Myra

Myron Stray

Nathanial Quiver

Nefarian Serpine

Nero

Nestor Tarry

Never

Nixion

Nj Maverick

Noche

Noonan

Nye

Oberon Guile

Oblivious

Obloquy

Octa Gregorian Boona

October Klein

Odetta

Ogre

Oisin

Omen Darkly

Operative

Oscar Nightfall

Owen

Palaver Graves

Parthenios Lilt

Pat Hanratty

Patrick Slattery

Patrick Xebec

Paul Lynch

Paulie

Peg Muldoon

Pennant

Persephone Grief

Pete Green

Petrichor

Phil Lynott

Philomena Random

Ping

Portia

To name a few

#skulduggery pleasant #derek landy #derek's bullshit #ask response #mutual banter

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a-mad-scientists-writing · 5 months

Text

A New Era (3)

Chapter 3: The Sceptre of the Spirits

AO3 1 2 3 4 5 6

P1 P2 P3 P4

Apart from a luxury boat, a journal full of scribbles, and a villa in Ba Sing Se, every single one of deceased horror-fiction writer Gordon Edgley’s possessions pass to his youngest niece, Valkyrie Cain. This causes a lot of chaos, namely:

Carol and Crystal Edgley couldn’t care less about the shoddy notebook of their uncle’s thoughts they find themselves in possession of, and enter into a screaming contest right in the solicitor’s office as soon as the shock wears off. Their parents do little to temper this, as…

Fergus and Beryl Edgley are too busy fighting over the boat neither of them want. Valkyrie wouldn’t go so far as to say that she deserves the fortune Gordon left her, but in seeing the way Fergus and Beryl act, she can’t say she’s sorry they missed out.

There is, however, a rather pressing problem that no one as yet knows about, which is...

3. The identity of Nefarian Serpine’s next target.

The next day, Melissa Edgley and her daughter decide to make the trek from their village to Gordon’s mansion, a secluded place hidden in the woods by the Cave of Two Lovers. The Edgleys’ village is called Léi, and the name suits the place as far as Valkyrie is concerned. Yes, it is her home, and yes, she does love the feeling of the sun on her skin, and the way the river dashes through the Kolau Mountains, and the soothing breeze that plays with her hair… but all it does lately is serve to remind her how much else she hasn’t seen.

While Desmond is overseeing a construction project in Omashu, a neighbour takes them the bulk of the journey on a cart, and then leaves them near the river crossing. Valkyrie and Melissa talk idly as they walk the final stretch along the dirt path through the trees. They’ve made this journey many times, and considering they own the dwelling at the end of it now, expect to make it many more. The roar of the river draws ever closer.

A sturdy bridge crosses the vast expanse. Recent storms have raised the water level, but not to a dangerous degree. They break for lunch upon reaching the white-water rush, and Valkyrie eagerly heads on over the bridge as Melissa finishes gathering up their things.

The river is wide. The bridge is long. Over the great flurry, it is difficult to hear any other noise. The flash flood takes them not only by surprise, but force.

Valkyrie reaches the other side before the bridge is destroyed. Melissa’s scream reaches her over the roaring rapids, and she almost panics, but her mother is fine, just calling out to make sure she is alright too. Via gestures and yelling, the message gets across that her mother is urging her on towards Gordon’s place.

The shock of the situation wearing off, Valkyrie makes a half-hearted effort not to feel the excitement of going on an adventure alone, and continues on.

Melissa doesn’t like this one bit; the journey to Gordon’s suddenly seems much longer, more serious, and more dangerous now that her twelve-year-old daughter is undertaking it alone, right after a flash flood. The river is too wild and filled with rocks to swim across, however. She heads upriver and further inland into the mountains, where the water will either eventually taper into a traversable crossing, or will enable her to pass straight on to Omashu to collect her husband and some sort of transport.

The flash flood has raised the water level too much to cross even at its narrowest part. Still, there is an extremely rickety old bridge spanning one section that, despite the clear danger, Melissa would have risked crossing- had she not seen Skulduggery Pleasant making his way along the opposite bank.

(He’s not a skeleton here. Tried to make it work. Couldn’t.)

It takes her only a split second to decide. Whatever Desmond’s reservations, he was a friend of Gordon’s, close enough to be invited to the will reading and the funeral, and is a high-ranking member of the Fire Nation. The Fire Lord’s court is well-known for being of good standing and trustworthiness these days. Mostly though, she’s more scared for her daughter than she is of a stranger. Melissa gets his attention through the simple expedient of hollering until he notices her.

He sends over a messenger hawk so they don’t have to yell, and once she relays the situation Skulduggery agrees to help. Apparently he was already heading in that direction, so going to Gordon’s place to make sure Valkyrie is safe is no trouble for him. Meanwhile, Melissa will take the long way around to Omashu.

Hours after reaching Gordon’s mansion, located in a small hidden valley with a wondrous view of the surrounding forest and a river that gleams under the moon, Valkyrie is warm, dry, only a little hungry, and having a blast reading Gordon’s last work. Rather eager to keep the adventure going, she decides to spend the night, and then head on for Omashu in the morning. Valkyrie is happy, self-assured, and feels safe as anything. Until a firebender obsessed with some sort of map comes through the window and tries to kill her, of course.

Not to worry though. Skulduggery Pleasant breaks down the door and saves her life.

The man’s hand is tight around her throat. Valkyrie kicks at his legs and scratches at his hands to no avail. Her vision, already blurred by tears and fear, is tunnelling. She gasps and chokes and all her attention is suddenly drawn to the fistful of flames in front of her eyes, igniting with a whoomph, close enough to singe the skin of her cheek.

“Now tell me,” hisses the man. “Where is the map?”

The front door is blasted off its hinges and slams into the opposite wall, in pieces and smoking. The hands around Valkyrie’s throat disappear. She’s on her knees on the floor and the room is on fire, ears ringing and the air singing with bursts of flame and wisecracks from the new man- the new firebender- who has just come into play.

Once she wakes up from her bout of unconsciousness, Valkyrie’s more than a little curious as to what a high-ranking member of the Fire Nation is doing in the Earth Kingdom, and as it keeps her calm and was more than a little his fault she was in danger anyway (re: bait), Skulduggery sits with her for a while and talks. The answer to her question is, he’s keeping an eye on someone.

When Valkyrie starts asking about him personally, Skulduggery tells her that he wasn’t born or raised in the Fire Nation actually, but he is a firebender, and he was in the Capital when it fell, and stayed there for a while after, so they just went ahead and made him an official citizen.

Valkyrie then asks why he’s a firebender if he wasn’t born in the Fire Nation. Skulduggery airily replies that he has family from all over the world, and Fire Nation must be in there somewhere. His mother was an earthbender, his father a waterbender, and he had all sorts of bending and non-bending siblings. He helped a lot during the war, so the Fire Lord made him a special envoy, and the other nations accepted him as an arbiter with jurisdiction throughout the world. He splits his time between Ba Sing Se for his envoy duties and travelling the world for his arbiter ones. At the moment he’s on his way back to Ba Sing Se, to talk to King Eachan about his case. Valkyrie is fascinated.

‘But first,’ he tells her as he stands, ‘I have to take you back to your parents in Omashu.’

Not exactly looking forward to a trek through the mountains in the dark, Valkyrie tries to make him wait with her in the mansion, but he is convinced they should get moving. Wary, but trusting that this man can handle things if they go wrong, she agrees.

On the journey from Gordon’s place to Omashu, things go wrong.

Half of the Kolau Mountains, the half where Gordon’s mansion and Léi reside, are covered in lush woodland. The terrain they now head through in the dark is on the rockier side which rarely sees rain and whose usual dusty underfoot has turned treacherous with mud. It is not difficult for their attacker to set off a small landslide that separates Valkyrie from Skulduggery.

During the chase, she jumps into a basin of roaring waterfalls in a desperate attempt to escape, and, miraculously, survives. The waters close over her head and she’s tossed around a fair bit, but ultimately borne safely back to shore. The most injuries she has are the bruises from particularly large rocks in the rapids that the water didn’t manage to swirl- in an almost protective fashion- away from her.

The firebender was not so lucky. Despite entering the water in the same place as Valkyrie, he was drowned or dashed mercilessly against rocks in the cascade. As previously said: miraculous.

Once Valkyrie pulls herself out of the river, Skulduggery’s there to help her up again, and they make it to Omashu just as dawn breaks the horizon.

Hypothetically, an attack on a child by a member of a covert magical community would incite a very different response from a magical detective than an attack on a child by a member of an overt magical community. As such, the matter of being assaulted by a fireball-throwing maniac is not beyond all understanding.

Valkyrie tells her parents about it. Skulduggery does not stop her.

There’s no (hypothetical) experience of hundreds of years of living in the shadows that might make him inclined to hide things from Desmond and Melissa. As they sit in the chambers Desmond inhabits while overseeing the Omashu earthbenders’ construction work, Valkyrie wrapped in blankets on the couch, her parents on either side of her facing Skulduggery, he tells them what he suspects: that the people trying to hurt Valkyrie are connected to Gordon’s death. More attacks are likely until whatever map these people are looking for is found.

Skulduggery doesn’t think Desmond and Melissa themselves are in any danger; by heading for Omashu they seem to have thrown off anyone on their scent, if anyone ever was. Besides, it was Valkyrie who inherited Gordon’s possessions, not her parents.

To Desmond and Melissa it seems pretty clear that all three of them need to stay in Omashu until Skulduggery can sort this out. To Valkyrie, it seems pretty clear that her brief taste of adventure is going to slip through her fingers unless she does something. So, she insists on going to Ba Sing Se with Skulduggery.

There are protests. Many of them. She argues that it’s the sensible thing to do: if people are after her, then it won’t take them long to find her in Omashu; it’s right next door to Uncle Gordon’s place, after all, and then that would put her parents in danger, not to mention anyone else nearby. So the best (she carefully avoids using the word safest) thing to do is stay with Skulduggery, who has already proven adept at getting them out of life-threatening situations. Besides, if Gordon was murdered, she wants to make those responsible pay for it.

The argument about the (implied) safest option for their daughter is most effective on Desmond and Melissa. Both of them are scared at the notion of Valkyrie being in danger, and rightly so. Desmond’s mind is already on track to wondering if his family’s Air Nomad blood has somehow been discovered by the remnants of Mevolent’s fanatics; Skulduggery mentioned that he believes Nefarian Serpine, Mevolent’s former governor of Ba Sing Se, to be the culprit. While neither Desmond nor Melissa are entirely at ease leaving their daughter’s safety to a firebender, Skulduggery has made a far better impression than he would have during, say, a highly tense conversation a few years down the road in which they discover he’s been working with Valkyrie in secret.

Skulduggery- taking into account the determined glares Valkyrie keeps shooting him which quite plainly state that she will be tagging along on this, as a stowaway if need be- admits that she has definitely proven herself capable of keeping up with him and handling herself if necessary. If Desmond and Melissa agree to it, he’ll acquiesce to taking her with him to Ba Sing Se, the most fortified city in the world.

It is amazing the favours having a face will do for him. Desmond and Melissa Edgley say yes to their twelve-year-old being taken on a murder investigation joyride.

How do they get from Omashu to Ba Sing Se within a reasonable time frame? Well, they have a dragon on loan, of course.

That night, Skulduggery calls (messenger hawks) in a favour from some friends of his, only referred to as the Sun Warriors. Valkyrie rolls her eyes at his mysteriousness, but on the inside she can’t stop beaming. She goes to sleep that night and dreams of the movement of firebenders in the sun.

The next morning, a great friendly black reptile arrives and waits for them across the great stone bridge to Omashu. Sleek coal-like scales adorn the creature’s serpentine body, and wings of the night itself protrude from his back. Golden tresses of hair sprout from his face and elbows, and line his back in a ridge. Shining tendrils like a moustache curl and shift like tentacles on his snout. The gold snatches of fur only serve to accentuate the dragon’s fierce yellow eyes- not slit-pupilled, but quite human really.

He’s called Ben. Short for Bentley. Yes, Skulduggery does give Valkyrie an enthusiastic Bentley-speech. His apparent command of (or at least buddyship with) such a creature further cements Desmond and Melissa’s ever-positive view of him.

‘This is the first dragon of the Eastern Isles to be born in over a hundred years, one of the last dragons alive in the world today. He has an eighty-foot wingspan, razor-sharp talons, eyes that can pinpoint a black hawk in flight at night, and intelligence advanced enough that he can understand most of human speech. He is the hope of an almost-extinct species, a fierce friend, a bit of a rascal, exquisitely stylish, and can flame a target from a hundred and fifty feet. We can cover half the continent in less than a day on his back, and the Earth Kingdom shouldn’t even shoot us down this time. I think they know me by now.’

Some of the awe taken out of the moment, Valkyrie would have been happy with, ‘It’s a dragon.’

By midnight, they are safely landing in the midst of the multitude of twinkling lights making up Ba Sing Se’s Middle Ring. Valkyrie can hardly contain her excitement: she can feel the thrum of millions of people around her, so many more, so much closer together, than in Omashu, and even at this hour the Impenetrable City is not quiet. Also unlike Omashu, the streets are all on the same level and far more cramped, the cobbles older and less maintained, and mysterious men in green robes, dark armour and wide hats pulled low over their faces lurk on the edge of vision: the Dai Li.

From school Valkyrie knows Ba Sing Se’s Inner City is divided into three walled rings, with the Earth King’s palace lying at the centre. Despite the city’s many glowing lights, appearing from above almost like a second golden-starred sky, the darkness obscured where exactly in the city they landed. Leaving Bentley to frolic in a park, Skulduggery takes Valkyrie to see some people…

China is entrancing, while Ghastly is wary. Valkyrie is dumbstruck: she’s met plenty of former soldiers with scars from fighting, but none like this man. He quite reasonably questions the decision to bring a twelve-year-old onto the case, and he knows Skulduggery much better than Valkyrie’s parents do. The phrases ‘out of danger’ and ‘Skulduggery Pleasant’ do not belong together.

The visit to Ghastly’s shop is to stop by, say hi, and commission some protective clothing for Valkyrie. She is initially reluctant: it sounds as though they want her to walk around in some sort of armour, and Valkyrie prefers clothes that are light and breathe well. Even winter oilskins make her hesitate, though she can’t explain why. Ghastly assures her that that won’t be a problem.

It isn’t. The clothes he makes for her are the best she’s ever worn. Despite Ghastly’s clear reservations, she can see he genuinely cares about her well-being; the bruises around her throat may or may not be sending his response into overdrive.

China’s library is an elegant wrought-metal monument to the limits of delicate smithery: Valkyrie has never seen such intricate shaping before- although in Léi such artwork isn’t exactly common. Shining metal adorns every surface, even weaving through the shelves and covers of books. The stunning woman they find in the midst of it all is no less exempt from the beautiful finery, wearing it on her arms, her clothes, her sculpted shoes, and even in her hair and ears. She greets them both with poise, grace, and welcoming familiarity, which Skulduggery ignores in favour of cutting abruptly to the chase. This amuses China, and Valkyrie can’t help but like her; she does however catch something in the woman’s eyes that is sharp like flint.

China tells them the rumours she has heard about Serpine’s target: the Sceptre of the Spirit World. According to legend the artefact was imbued with a vast amount of spiritual energy, energy harnessed to be used against humans, and which was incapable of harming beings from the Spirit World. Skulduggery and China are both certain it’s only a myth. Skulduggery decides to find out some more about it anyway.

They retire for the night, planning to turn to the Earth King for more information in the morning.

Skulduggery’s house is, surprisingly, not in the Upper Ring, where all the nobles tend to reside. Valkyrie assumed that as the Fire Nation’s Special Envoy, and the Arbiter of All Nations to boot, he would have a reasonably cushy station, but she supposes that his humbler Middle Ring abode makes it easier to blend in; subterfuge must be a part of being an arbiter. Although, it’s hard to see how good Skulduggery is at this when a dragon sleeps curled around his house.

By the morning’s light, it is astonishing to see how packed Ba Sing Se really is. Greeted by the cacophony of the bright, clamouring, bustling, busy morning, it’s quite the contrast to be permitted entry through the vast golden gates into the Earth Kingdom Royal Palace. By comparison to the streets outside, this area is deserted.

It’s as if the entire city has been starved of the spaciousness and serenity used in constructing these grounds. Miles of flat light stone pave an endless expanse populated by the occasional squadron of attentive soldiers before Valkyrie and Skulduggery reach the massive steps leading up to the palace. At the top of these is the gargantuan building. Perched on the seismically scaled red walls swoop the sharp curves of tiered golden roofs, and the massive green and gold stone seals of the national emblem adorn the outside. There is no mistaking this dwelling for belonging to anyone other than a king.

While the sight from outside is breathtakingly grand, Valkyrie becomes sour at the reception. No one sees the Earth King according to their own schedule. After being kept waiting in an antechamber for more than an hour, they are admitted to a secretary. After another hour, they are ushered into a waiting room, to wait. Skulduggery is impressed at the lightning pace today.

Finally, Earth King Eachan Meritorious and his retinue enter: Sagacious Tome, the pompous Grand Secretariat, and Morwenna Crow, the commanding Head of the Dai Li. They are all unhelpful and refuse to believe Skulduggery about Serpine ordering maniacs to attack Valkyrie.

Valkyrie knows Serpine’s name from history, as she does Meritorious’. She can neither see why King Eachan doesn’t think Serpine, the man who was governor of Ba Sing Se during Mevolent’s reign, would be up to some bad business, nor why the famed Earth King who was present at the siege and fall of his own kingdom won’t take a possible situation like this seriously. The discussion becomes heated, and ends with a fuming Skulduggery storming out of the palace, no further enlightened. His anger seems to be more than what the encounter deserved.

‘Are you okay?’ Valkyrie asks, a little hesitantly.

At this, Skulduggery seems to catch himself. His frustrated pacing on the palace steps slows to a halt, his stance loosening much quicker than she would have expected. Valkyrie gets the distinct impression that he’s reigning himself in, drawing himself back from a line.

‘Yes,’ Skulduggery answers, in a very calm voice. Slightly more normally, he confides that Meritorious never believes him when he brings up Serpine’s activities.

‘He doesn’t? That doesn’t seem very responsible. Or kingly.’

‘Yes, well. He thinks I’m biased.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I am, I suppose.’

Into the silence, Valkyrie says, ‘Well, I believe you.’

He tilts his head in mild surprise and smiles with more warmth than he’s shown so far. ‘Thank you.’

Valkyrie’s increasingly low opinion of the Earth King is reinforced in the next minute.

Yes, it has been iterated over and over in school that the Dai Li’s betrayal of Morwenna Crow during the war was not the king’s fault; it was a product of the whole system’s failure. The palace spent too much effort examining the war and not enough thinking about what was happening with its own people, a mistake which has been studiously corrected. This is stressed over and over in schools around the Earth Kingdom. But in the more distant southerly regions people have more leeway to hang on to such failures.

In Omashu and the surrounding principalities, they have their own king, who is trusted a great deal more than Meritorious.

Mr Bliss is the most powerful earthbender in the world, and Omashu was happy to elect him as their king after the war, even if it was Meritorious who volunteered him. Valkyrie never expected to see the living legend walking up the steps towards her, but then again she never expected to stand in front of the Earth King or the leader of the secret police either. She finds him just as scary as the stories say.

He and Skulduggery talk like they know each other well. Old war… well, if not friends, at least colleagues. Mr Bliss doesn’t seem like he has friends. He tells Skulduggery that he is right about Serpine, and that the Earth King is becoming too focused again: he is narrowing his gaze on affairs of state, revelling in peace. That is why Bliss is here, to convince King Eachan of the situation brewing. Mevolent’s old forces are on the move. Bliss is gathering his own allies in preparation.

Never let it be said that Mr Bliss doesn’t take an active role in his subjects’ well-being. He is, after all, referred to as ‘Mr’ rather than ‘King.’

If the palace too was a dead end, then where can they find information about the Sceptre of the Spirit World? Skulduggery has an idea. A place buried out in the Si Wong desert: the Spirit Library.

‘You’ve been there before?’

‘No, but I’ve seen it, albeit from a distance. Ghastly, a few others and I got lost in that desert once and came across it. We didn’t go inside, of course. We weren’t stupid.’

‘Why would it have been stupid to go in?’

‘Apparently there’s a great big owl spirit inside who’s not very nice to visitors.’

‘Not very nice like the Earth King, or not very nice like the guy who tried to kill me?’

‘Second option, I’m afraid. There’s a reason people have left it buried.’

‘Oh great. Ohhh great. That really fills me with confidence, that does. It bodes so well. Spirits are never good news.’

‘You don’t have to worry. It’s a library! The books are made for reading.’

(In the end, they are chased by a giant owl. It is not fun.)

Bentley flies them, guided by Skulduggery’s fairly rusty directions. He was lost when he found the place, after all. Valkyrie feels the wind that they surf on and knows she’ll never get tired of it.

The great buried library is silent, creepily so. They enter through a rope lowered down into the only part of the library that isn’t buried in the vast sands: the topmost tower. Valkyrie is told to wait on the window ledge outside in the heat. Reluctantly she does, staring down into the depths as Skulduggery takes their rope and lowers himself to the bridge, below which level upon level of the place descends into darkness, all packed with corridors full of bookshelves. It’s quite the sight. Quite vertigo-inducing.

Skulduggery touches down. He takes a few steps forward and almost immediately an owl five times as tall as he is with black feathers and a booming, ancient voice swoops up out of the depths, landing between him and the rope in a clear, threatening message. Wan Shi Tong, the spirit of the library, has revealed himself, and is, to say the least, uninclined to allow any humans to peruse his shelves, lest they try and use what they learn for violent purposes like all too many have.

‘Violent? Me?’ says Skulduggery.

‘If you’re going to lie to an all-knowing spirit being, you should at least put some effort into it,’ Wan Shi Tong responds, swiftly extending an inscrutable avian face on a lengthy neck down to Skulduggery. He doesn’t back away.

Taking this as her cue to enter, Valkyrie drops down the rope, landing behind the owl. She gets a brief glimpse of white feathers like a second set of eyes on the back of Wan Shi Tong’s head before it swivels one hundred and eighty degrees towards her and fixes her with a stomach-dropping stare. Skulduggery quickly darts around the spirit to stand slightly in front of her, a hand closing over her forearm from behind his back. The owl examines them both.

‘We come in the spirit of peace,’ Skulduggery tries again. ‘Of… bridging the gap between worlds. You have my word we won’t abuse your library.’

The owl’s fathomless eyes peer at him. ‘Hmmm.’

Something significant appears to be passing between the two of them, but whatever it is, Wan Shi Tong does not seem convinced. Skulduggery’s hand tightens on her arm.

Valkyrie offers a trade of information. She tells Wan Shi Tong one of her family legends: that a dark spirit possessed her great-grandfather for years during the Hundred Year War, enabling him to train the Avatar better and fight back against the Fire Nation all the more fiercely. Her bloodline was supposedly forever tainted with the power he wielded.

Wan Shi Tong is dismissive of the legend, as any reasonable person knows that spirits have not possessed people in millennia. It is an unfounded prejudice which is still held up in the way humans continue to take new names to ward spirits away. Put out, Valkyrie doubles down on their claim of peaceful intentions, then adds that if during their search he becomes suspicious of them, he can always just kill them. It’s not like they have much of a chance against him, after all.

‘True,’ he agrees, and allows them entrance.

A fox guides them to the books on spirits. They read about the Sceptre: it is only able to change owners through death; it ‘sings’ in the presence of enemies; it cannot be wielded against spirits; and it is most assuredly real. It has been used throughout history to take power, to harm people- and Serpine will add his name to those ranks unless they find it first.

Unfortunately, Wan Shi Tong hears this, completely fails to understand that they want to stop people from getting hurt, and the aforesaid owl-chase begins.

They leave the library unscathed, if a little sooty. Wan Shi Tong deemed saving his books from destruction by a wildfire more important than chasing them. Valkyrie would feel disapproval of Skulduggery’s tactic there, if it were not for the fact that they were both alive because of it. As they fly away on Bentley, the enraged screeches of Wan Shi Tong are accompanied by a great rumbling, and the Spirit Library sinks fully into the sand.

Skulduggery shares with Valkyrie his theory: the map Serpine is intent on finding must be the map to the Sceptre, and a map must be necessary because the Sceptre must be hidden in the best hiding spot Gordon had access to: the Cave of Two Lovers. They decide to go snoop around Gordon’s mansion for the map. Going into the caves without it is sure to be a death sentence.

On the way, Skulduggery asks Valkyrie more about her family legends, since he never heard Gordon speak about them. Obligingly, Valkyrie unloads all of them onto him. Her family has always been very leery of letting anyone know about their airbender heritage, but Skulduggery has made quite an impression. She laments that she’s not a bender despite being of a ‘varied background’ like Skulduggery. Skulduggery tells her about not knowing he was a bender until he was her age, despite having grown up in a family full of them who all found out when they were much younger. This brightens her up a bit: there’s still a faint chance she could be one.

They search Gordon’s mansion to no avail. His study is full of many things, but a map of the Lovers’ Cave is not one of them. Dismayed, Valkyrie heads back outside, to find, when she opens the front door, a man.

He has dark hair and darker green eyes. She notices red fern-like scars on one of his hands, visible between the gap of his expensive sleeve and glove.

There’s a rush of Skulduggery’s footsteps behind her, and suddenly she’s in the middle of a firefight at her uncle’s house for the second time in as many days.

Serpine has had the same idea as them: to search Gordon’s place for the map, and he brought much more back up than they did. They are cornered on her uncle’s porch, surrounded on all sides by firebenders, things are moving too quickly, and then lightning flickers from Serpine’s fingers, fierce and unstoppable and blinding in the dark night. Skulduggery shoves Valkyrie to the floor before being blasted off his feet.

As her hearing comes back, Valkyrie hears Bentley roar from the midst of a contingent of Serpine’s followers. She sees Serpine sedately go to collect Skulduggery’s unmoving form. There’s a large mechanical locomotor nearby that they must have used as transport. Serpine uses Skulduggery as a shield so Ben can’t charbroil him as they board. Ben isn’t exactly trying however, having his claws full protecting Valkyrie from all the firebenders Serpine brought along.

After the attack, Valkyrie is left alone in the mountains, far from home, with no one to call for help. Whatever will she do?

HAH. She has a freaking dragon. First step, sending a message via said dragon to Ghastly Bespoke, Ba Sing Se, that Nefarian Serpine has captured Skulduggery Pleasant. Step two: follow the locomotive.

It’s achieving this second step that immediately becomes the difficulty. Valkyrie’s just sent her locomotive-chasing steed away to Ba Sing Se. Skulduggery told her that Bentley knows Ghastly, so she’s confident that he will reach him. She, however, is stuck with no way besides her own two feet to follow the machine. With no other options, she takes off on foot, following the tracks north-west. Even in the dark, the deep ruts are not difficult to distinguish.

Funny story: a certain someone is on her way to Omashu at Mr Bliss’s request and runs right into Valkyrie- almost literally, had it not been for the quick reflexes of her ostrich-horse.

The woman who almost trampled Valkyrie is young, with blonde hair cut sensibly short, a serious set to her face and an even more serious set to the sword she carries. She’s dressed in green robes that are tied at the front with a cord, and despite a certain hardness to her eyes that shouldn’t belong on someone barely into their twenties, she smiles easily and has a readiness for action that Valkyrie admires. She introduces herself as, of course, Tanith Low.

They get on that locomotive.

They get off that locomotive plus one (very surprised, lightly charred) Skulduggery, enemy firebenders none the wiser.

Valkyrie catches her breath, heart racing and unable to keep a broad grin off her face as she stares at the dwindling dark mass of the all-terrain locomotive chugging away into the distance. She actually did it.

Beside her, the strong woman with the sword on her hip, Tanith, nudges her. ‘Nice work,’ she praises.

‘Well, I did my best,’ Skulduggery answers from Tanith’s other side, where she is supporting him.

‘Not you,’ says Valkyrie.

‘Ah, you’re right. Tanith, your ostrich horse is most impressive for keeping up the way it did. Good boy,’ Skulduggery corrects himself, stroking the tired, panting creature fondly, before flashing a grin back at Valkyrie. She huffs and holds the ostrich horse still while Tanith helps Skulduggery off its saddle to sit on the ground. She hears him give a sharp hiss and her faux grumpiness vanishes.

‘Are you okay?’ she asks worriedly, seeing Tanith go still for a moment.

‘Well, I’d rather not try to walk any more than I have to for the next few hours, but on the whole, I’ve been shot with worse lightning,’ Skulduggery tells her lightly.

By what light she can, Tanith examines him beneath the charred remains of his shirt. Underneath Valkyrie catches sight of many burns, almost glowing red in the moonlight. What makes her pause though is the large, star-shaped scar at the centre of Skulduggery’s chest. It looks old, and like it didn’t heal easily.

Tanith is frowning as she checks his burns. ‘The worst of it missed your heart, which is the important thing.’

‘That is pretty important,’ Skulduggery agrees.

‘But that doesn’t mean you got off easy. Hold on, I’ve got some bandages- but I’m assuming you’re more versed in treating burns than me?’

Skulduggery nods. ‘Thank you. There’s not much to be done right now, but if you have any water I’d appreciate it. Lightning strikes tend to dry me out.’

Tanith and Skulduggery’s calm and pragmatic attitudes are off-putting in a way Valkyrie can’t explain even to herself. She just feels jittery and sick, and it must have shown on her face.

‘He’ll be okay,’ Tanith reassures her with a smile that seems only a little forced, unrolling a length of clean white cloth. ‘The damage is only skin deep, nothing major.’

‘We don’t have any medical supplies…’ Valkyrie starts.

Skulduggery shakes his head, brushing it off. ‘I don’t need any. Some water, some rest, and I’ll be fit as a firecracker in no time, just wait and see.’

‘Skulduggery, you were struck by lightning.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘But-’

‘Tanith, tell her I’m fine.’

‘I’m with Valkyrie,’ Tanith mutters, grimacing as she begins to wrap his middle. Skulduggery gives her a look. She brightly adds, ‘But you will be fine, yes.’

Unconvinced, Valkyrie takes the waterskin out of one of Tanith’s saddlebags and passes it up to Skulduggery, only to catch him looking at her with a strange expression on his face.

‘What? What is it?’

‘Nothing. I really am fine, thank you. And thank you for coming to save me. I can honestly say that I did not expect that. It was very brave of you.’

Valkyrie feels her mouth twitch into a grin. ‘When have I ever done something you expected?’

He laughs.

After a few hours of thinking and riding, Skulduggery works out where the map is.

Fergus and Beryl are not pleased to be woken at such an early hour. Valkyrie can’t say that she’s all that happy to be seeing them either after an entire night of alternately walking and riding an ostrich-horse, but the excitement of finding the map, scrawled in Gordon’s field journal, bequeathed to the Toxic Twins, tossed carelessly in a corner of Carol’s room, stolen by Valkyrie, quickly infects her. She, Tanith and Skulduggery head for Omashu, reinvigorated.

They meet Mr Bliss in the mountains. He betrays them. The subtle clue is in when he tries to bury Tanith in a rockslide, and pushes Skulduggery off a cliff.

The rumbling ceases. Valkyrie stares in shock as Mr Bliss turns to her. When she starts to run, there is a great boom behind her as the earth launches Mr Bliss into the air to land right in her path. She skids and lands on her backside, and Mr Bliss simply takes the map from her. The shock gives way to outrage, and she demands to know why he’s doing this. She receives the depressing answer that he wants to be on the winning side: Serpine’s side.

When he has rumbled away on a hill of earth, Valkyrie scrambles to the avalanche site only for Tanith to push her way out the top before she can help, dusty and bruised but otherwise unharmed.

They turn to the cliff. Fortunately, there’s a fjord at the bottom. Skulduggery is soggy and angry by the time Valkyrie and Tanith find him.

Valkyrie’s hopes of having a rest are dashed. With no other choice, they head towards the Cave of Two Lovers. Fortunately, it’s within riding distance.

‘Let me get this straight. We want to navigate through the Cave of Two Lovers, find Serpine and all his firebenders, stop him from taking the Sceptre, and find our way back out again, all without the map?’ Tanith asks in disbelief.

Skulduggery considers. ‘Yes,’ he decides. ‘Yes, I think so. Does that sound right?’

‘Sounds right to me,’ Valkyrie shrugs with a grin.

Tanith turns to Valkyrie outside the cave, keeping her eyes on the entrance. It gapes wide and dark, and although the paved road inside is flat and smooth, its forbidding nature is not dispelled in the least. ‘You were reading Gordon’s journal on the way to Omashu. Did it have any advice on how to navigate through?’

‘It said something about letting love light the way,’ Valkyrie responds, also watching the dark. ‘The legend said that the two lovers who first found their way through would extinguish all their lights and trust in their hearts to guide them to each other.’

‘A knack that would be handy if Serpine was at all lovable,’ Skulduggery comments. ‘As it is…’ Fire flares in his hand. ‘…we’ll have to see how far our tracking abilities can take us.’

There are no dangers in the Cave of Two Lovers besides the natural hazards of the dark. At the present time, this includes firebenders.

They catch up with Serpine just as he finds the Sceptre. It is hidden in a magnificent tomb, where Oma and Shu were left to rest side by side. Grand staircases lead down to the lovers’ coffins, on which engravings detail their story, and the walls depict it in images.

Now, the quiet dark is thrown into unwelcome firelight as Serpine’s followers swarm all over the place, standing guard while the man himself reverently raises the Sceptre of the Spirit World from its resting place atop one of the stone coffins.

Tanith and Skulduggery instruct Valkyrie to stay back while they take on Serpine’s forces, and, predictably, she does not. She skirts sneakily around the edges of the melee instead, eyes fixed on Serpine as Skulduggery closes in. Fire flashes, lighting up the dark sporadically. During the fight, the Sceptre briefly falls within her reach, and remains silent; for some curious reason, it doesn’t warn Serpine of her presence.

Valkyrie cannons into Serpine as he scoops the Sceptre back up and aims it at Skulduggery. The dark crystal, so deeply purple as to be almost black, unleashes a powerful lance of violet energy which goes wide, striking the cavern wall. There’s a momentary pause.

Serpine has claimed the Sceptre, and his forces outnumber them. Skulduggery, Valkyrie and Tanith retreat, running in darkness because any light would make them an easy target. Sprinting headlong into pitch black that may or may not conceal a cave wall takes a lot of nerve, and Valkyrie’s the only one who feels something change- the breeze maybe- as a blocked tunnel looms out of nowhere. She grabs Skulduggery and Tanith before they run face-first into it, and they try and find another way out: any way will do at this point, Serpine can’t be far behind… but he is far enough behind such that the firebenders’ light is extinct. Above them, a glow glimmers: phosphorescence shows them the way.

Valkyrie’s jaw drops. ‘But the notes said they trusted in love!’

‘I don’t know about you, but right now I love those crystals,’ Tanith says, taking off again.

They reach daylight just ahead of their pursuers. For the second time, Skulduggery hauls Valkyrie out of the way of a lightning blast and sets to work blocking incoming bursts of fire. Serpine and his forces close in… and are driven back by a wave of rolling earth.

Bentley lands before the uprooted grass and rocks, Ghastly and China on his back.

‘Get on!’

As China calls out the order, she leaps off the dragon and puts her back to Skulduggery’s. They both cover Valkyrie and Tanith, China pulling a wall of earth out of the ground to shield them while Skulduggery takes over offense. Valkyrie catches Ghastly’s hand and feels Tanith give her feet a boost, and once they’re both aboard Bentley, Skulduggery whirls in a circle.

China follows his movements like they’ve done this a million times before, lifting the rock wall and knocking it back at their attackers while Skulduggery sweeps his leg around and sends a clean wash of fire across the ground below it. The firebenders are all forced backwards. Skulduggery shouts for them to take off as he jumps for Bentley, catching China’s hand and hauling her up after him.

‘You haven’t lost your touch,’ compliments China, catching her breath. Her eyes are alight.

Skulduggery brushes soot and dirt off his charred clothes. ‘My touch for fighting or escaping?’

‘For angering dangerous enemies.’

‘You say that like you expected otherwise,’ Skulduggery says with a wry grin.

It is only once they are in the air that Valkyrie notices the dragon’s beautiful black scales are covered- all over- in hideous yellow dust. It smells like curry. Apparently by the time Ben made it to Ba Sing Se, Ghastly wasn’t at his shop, and the dragon subsequently tore through the downtown market stalls in the attempt to track his whereabouts: he found China instead.

Normally, China would have been happy once finding Ghastly to send him on his way alone, but he called in… an old debt she owed him. Neither say what it was, but it was apparently enough to convince her to lend her help. Valkyrie, not having any reason to think otherwise, finds herself liking China even more, regardless of everyone else’s reservations.

‘And so the market stalls are how he got spices all over him?’ she asks, trying valiantly to rub the awful yellow stuff off the sleek glossiness underneath. She can accept that excuse. It was only an accident.

‘Oh no,’ Ghastly says dryly. ‘As we left, he saw the spice carts coming into the city and decided, despite the urgency of the situation, to beat his wings and fly through the ensuing cloud.’

Valkyrie then notices that China and Ghastly also have traces of yellow on their clothes and skin, but they, being sensible people of good taste, have done their best to remove it. At Valkyrie’s dismayed expression, Skulduggery nods and pats Bentley’s hide ruefully.

‘He likes being colourful,’ he explained. Bentley wiggles happily in mid-air.

The Earth King is not pleased, but he somehow manages to avoid admitting that it was his mistake to disregard Skulduggery’s suspicions. Kings don’t apologise. They move on, and expect everyone to follow in their wake.

It isn’t clear why the Sceptre never reacted to Valkyrie’s presence. After their visit to the Spirit Library in which Wan Shi Tong disabused Valkyrie of any fanciful notions of ‘tainted blood’ causing the Sceptre to overlook her, Valkyrie has no explanation to offer either. Regardless, Meritorious considers her a valuable asset to have, despite the pompous reservations voiced by Sagacious Tome. Valkyrie is not only permitted to continue being part of the affair, but practically enlisted.

China, considering her debt to Ghastly settled even in the face of Ghastly’s clear disagreement, heads back to her library to begin organising her affairs in preparation for a war. Valkyrie is more than a little surprised and disappointed at this action, but China is not swayed. Skulduggery takes the opportunity to instil in her the lesson that China Sorrows cannot ever be trusted she is only ever self-serving never put your life in her hands she will betray you nod if you understand Valkyrie.

Reluctantly, Valkyrie does.

That last encounter with Pleasant was too close a call for Serpine to allow again. He needs to distract the arbiter. Fortunately, Serpine is well-versed in how to do that. As a bonus, that niece of Edgley’s was getting on his nerves anyway.

After the Earth King and his war council has made their preparations and given Skulduggery, Ghastly, and Tanith assignments, the four of them make their way through the palace, heading for the exit and listening to Skulduggery as he thinks aloud about what Serpine’s next move will be. He has the Sceptre, but what does he want it for? Mevolent’s goal was to spread the influence of the Fire Nation across the whole world, but Serpine doesn’t have the Fire Nation to use as a starting point. The only thing he’s ever ruled in fact is… Ba Sing Se.

A blank-faced man in white robes under dark armour is waiting for them in an anteroom. There are no guards in sight, and they can’t remember passing any in the hall for a while either. The assassin carries a scythe. Under the low-pulled hat, his focus is fixed on Valkyrie.

The others attack, but the man has a surprising trick: he gets a jab into Skulduggery’s inner shoulder, and the flame he was summoning extinguishes immediately. Skulduggery grimaces and tucks the arm in close until he can regain use of it. His and Ghastly’s stances grow a little warier.

‘Chi blocker,’ Valkyrie hears Tanith mutter.

Despite apparently having no bending of his own, the man is more than a match for Skulduggery, Ghastly, and Tanith. His scythe meets Tanith’s sword at every turn, and his durable armour is more than capable of withstanding not only Ghastly’s punches but the lumps of stone he bends his way- although it is rare that the assassin cannot cleave, dodge, flip, or somersault away from them. His feet are as sure as ever even when the ground underneath him tilts or becomes awash with flame. Skulduggery continues with hand-to-hand attacks, getting in so close that using any firebending would be almost suicidal, but he still has his work cut out stopping any more of his limbs from being deadened or severed.

When Skulduggery shouts at Valkyrie to run, she does, but the fight follows her.

The White Cleaver almost reaches Valkyrie. It takes Ghastly collapsing the roof of the chamber to shake his attention. Chunks of brick rain down around them. Without her coat, Valkyrie would have been hurt far more than the mild bruising she sustained. She, Skulduggery and Tanith make it out just in time.

Ghastly doesn’t.

His eyes are closed and Valkyrie keeps shaking him, but he won’t wake up. He’s bleeding- in a lot of places- but still breathing. There’s rubble strewn everywhere. Skulduggery is hauling Ghastly onto his shoulder and Tanith is urging them to move. The White Cleaver emerges from the dust-filled ruins of the room behind them.

Meritorious, walking with Morwenna Crow, hears fighting in the halls of his palace. Serpine is inside. The coup is taking place now. Before the Earth King can summon the Dai Li to his aid, a blast of purple energy vaporises him.

Several halls away, the palace administrator makes it to the mews and scrawls a frantic note for the nearest bird he can reach before he too is killed. The iguana parrot takes off.

Serpine’s plan is a simple one: massacre everyone. The power of the Sceptre is incredible, and allows him easy destruction of anyone he wants. Should there be a powerful object that would allow him control over all the people in the city, its hypothetical equivalent in this world is the throne of Ba Sing Se.

Using loyalist forces leftover from Mevolent’s Fire Nation, who have been in hiding for almost thirteen years, awaiting their chance to strike, Serpine leads them into the palace via a secret entrance revealed to him by Sagacious Tome. Tome’s eagerness to lay his hands on some real power goes wasted, Serpine killing him right after the Earth King and Morwenna. He has no further need of the advisor.

The next step is to eliminate the counterforces that will inevitably be deployed. All the loyal palace guards have been decimated, and the not-so-loyal ones in the pocket of Sagacious Tome now answer to Serpine.

Once the palace has been cleared, Serpine sends out the majority of his soldiers to manage the guards on the Outer and Inner Walls. The remaining Earth Kingdom soldiers will assume places outside the palace, deterring anyone from entering.

The halls of the palace are chillingly silent. Valkyrie runs through them with Tanith and Skulduggery, her breathing seeming too loud, her footsteps too heady. Ghastly’s limp hand sways with Skulduggery’s motion. Bodies are abundant throughout the corridors. The coup was swift and merciless.

Ghastly shouldn’t be moved, but he shouldn’t be left alone either. They find a room with a lockable door and lay him gently on a pristine sofa that is quickly dirtied by the dust and blood. Valkyrie kneels by his side. He’s still breathing- faintly.

Skulduggery is dead set on killing Serpine ASAP, while Tanith wants to contact reinforcements. She is a seasoned fighter, but out of her depth; she is too young to have been a soldier in the Hundred Year War, and has never dealt with situations like this. Frustrated at Skulduggery’s iron refusal to compromise or listen, she hisses some things. Things that reference the war. Valkyrie doesn’t understand some of it, but she can piece together what ‘maybe you want to join your family’ in this context means. She feels the blood drain from her face and isn’t sure if she’d prefer Skulduggery to shout over the stillness he’s now adopted.

They both catch their breath. Tanith doesn’t agree that either of them are at all prepared to face Serpine when he has the Sceptre, but the only other feasible option is splitting up, which is undoubtedly worse. As it is, they don’t know the full extent of the coup, or what is happening in the city. Reinforcements may not be available.

With a much cooler head, Tanith can see that Skulduggery’s plan is as good as any they have. It’s a concession he’s lucky to have under the circumstances, so he accepts it. She also points out that Valkyrie is the only one who can sneak up on Serpine, so leaving her with Ghastly isn’t an option either. Skulduggery reluctantly agrees. After barricading Ghastly in the room as best they can, they head out.

Valkyrie feels a shift in the air over her shoulder. She rolls out of the way of the White Cleaver’s absolutely silent approach, Tanith draws her sword, and suddenly splitting up is the only option. The chi blocker settles into his stance. Fortunately, Tanith has no bending he can take away.

Serpine is in the throne room, standing at ease in the middle as he contemplates the gold-plated seat atop the stairs. The Sceptre is held loosely in one hand- easy for her to take. Valkyrie’s palms start to sweat. Whatever Skulduggery has told her to do if things go south, she knows the only way she is leaving this room is with him.

Valkyrie Cain, it has been an absolute pleasure knowing you.

Her shoes aren’t sturdy boots, as favoured by so many. She doesn’t like heavy clothes. Her shoes are soft, and light. Sometimes she scares her parents by unintentionally being too stealthy when she walks into a room. They’ll turn around and there she is…

Serpine turns around. The Sceptre lights up. Valkyrie dives, rolls, spins and brings up a hand-

The Sceptre flies out of Serpine’s grip, skidding across the room, borne on a gust of wind.

Well.

Isn’t that a surprise.

Skulduggery crashes into Serpine with elbows and fists before he can react. The two firebenders fight, and it’s instantly clear who is the better combatant. Valkyrie thinks it’ll be over easily, when-

The floor spirals open beneath Skulduggery. He falls through, and it slams shut over him just as quickly.

Mr Bliss walks into the room. Before Valkyrie can process what happened (is he dead, is he dead, did Bliss kill Skulduggery), or that she’s now very alone, a known airbender with one of Mevolent’s generals, Serpine is ordering the King of Omashu to kill her.

‘Where’ve you been?’ Serpine snaps, wiping blood from his face.

‘I was delayed.’

‘I’m sure. Well, if you want to reap any rewards after tonight, you’ll have to display some of that “legendary” strength. There’s one more adversary to deal with.’

‘You want me to kill an unarmed child?’

‘I want you to kill an unarmed airbender.’

Valkyrie stares into Bliss’s cold blue eyes and waits for the floor to open up and swallow her whole, just like it did to Skulduggery. Instead, a ton of ceiling slams down towards Serpine… who is already rolling out of the way, coming up onto one knee, two fingers pointing at Bliss, lightning exploding into the space between them. Bliss is thrown off his feet and doesn’t get up.

Serpine, whose movement took him to the Sceptre, stands with it in hand. He turns to Valkyrie, a cruel smile on his face, taunting her as he closes in.

Then the floor cracks open again and Skulduggery wrenches himself out. Serpine snarls a curse at Bliss’s unmoving form, and the fight begins anew. Skulduggery refuses to give Serpine even a second to bring the Sceptre to bear, driving him backwards. He doesn’t firebend, and doesn’t need to, working only with his fists and knees and elbows. This seems to infuriate Serpine further. Skulduggery slams him against a pillar, and places him under arrest. Serpine laughs, inexplicably, viciously, head shaking and eyes burning.

‘I will always find a way to make you suffer!’

The hand holding the Sceptre is pinned out of the way so it can’t be angled at Skulduggery, but Serpine isn’t looking at Skulduggery. He twists his wrist, and Valkyrie feels her blood turn to ice as she looks into a purple glow.

The beam never comes. The crystal shines like a firefly and refuses to let loose. Serpine screams his rage, and Skulduggery wrests the Sceptre from his grip, half-turning to toss it behind him. Valkyrie shivers, and operating on instinct, makes a move that sends a strong breeze spinning the weapon further away. She looks up to find Serpine white with fury. In the instant before Skulduggery pins his free hand back in place, Serpine shoves him off and time slows down.

Crackling blue-white light is summoned out of thin air. Its tendrils are drawn to a point and extend along the line set by Serpine’s fingers, pointed straight at her. But the view is eclipsed. Skulduggery was already in motion. His feet are sure as he throws himself in the line of fire, his stance as confident as if he’s done this time and time again. The arcing, sparking, icy fire snakes from the tip of Serpine’s fingers and meets Skulduggery’s… and then blossoms around him in a flashing cloud of electricity, booming back along Skulduggery’s other hand, straight at Serpine.

Valkyrie blinks the searing afterimages out of her vision just in time to see Serpine’s body slump to the ground.

Skulduggery turns around and asks if she’s alright. She stares at him. His clothes are smoking faintly.

Running footsteps from the corridor herald the arrival of a flood of Dai Li.

‘Just in time,’ Skulduggery sighs.

They assess the situation efficiently and effectively, helping Mr Bliss up and checking Serpine is dead. China Sorrows enters the room. She smiles and folds her arms.

‘You’re not dead. Well done,’ she praises.

‘Not for a lack of trying,’ Skulduggery murmurs. He seems a little shocked (no pun intended) to Valkyrie.

It transpires that a message was sent out to Mr Bliss during the coup. China’s people, who were monitoring Bliss’s residence in Ba Sing Se for any sign of his return, intercepted the distinctive iguana parrot and alerted her to what was happening. She raised the alarm to the Dai Li agents in the city and the soldiers on the walls, who were ready for Serpine’s forces when they made their move. She did this not, China assures them, out of the goodness of her heart, but in order to avoid a total collapse of the resources and influence she has amassed since the end of the Hundred Year War, a fate which would surely have befallen her had Serpine come to power so soon. Whatever her excuses, Valkyrie grins broadly; without China, two of her friends would be dead, and many more people besides. Even Skulduggery doesn’t try to distance himself from her that night, although he does seem rather preoccupied with his own thoughts.

Other notable occurrences of the night’s events: Tanith and the White Cleaver half killed each other during their duel. The White Cleaver went missing in action before China and the Dai Li arrived, but Tanith, along with Ghastly and Bliss, was hurried to healers as soon as she was found. While Tanith and Bliss are expected to make full recoveries, Ghastly’s injuries were incredibly extensive; he remains in a coma, and is fortunate to be breathing. Skulduggery says he’s survived worse though, so Valkyrie tries to keep her hopes up.

The most important take-away from all this is that Valkyrie is an airbender. This is incredible news to everyone around. As soon as Bliss is well again, a flurry of action rises up around her. Valkyrie was confirmed as a non-bender as a child, but as Skulduggery vouches, those tests aren’t right one hundred per cent of the time. Bliss decides that she must be trained, and once the next in line for the Earth Kingdom’s throne is crowned- a cousin of Meritorious named Thurid Guild- this matter is one of the first brought to his attention.

Waiting, strained, in Omashu, Desmond and Melissa Edgley receive word that their daughter is safe and sound, the crisis is over, and that they are invited by the Earth King himself to attend the celebratory welcoming of a thought-to-be-extinct race of benders back into the world: otherwise known as the official presentation of Valkyrie Cain, the First Airbender, to the nations.

Well, that’s the years of the Edgleys hiding their heritage over. Desmond can’t say he’s entirely sorry, not when his daughter is so excited and happy and protected.

Despite knowing that King Thurid is mainly doing this for the good PR value, which shows that Ba Sing Se has quickly recovered from the mishap and is looking forward to leading the world in a new era of recovery brought on by her own self, Valkyrie is indeed overjoyed. She loves airbending. It comes easily and naturally to her, something that she’s felt has been part of her life for so long which has now unfolded to reveal its potential.

The trouble is, there’s no one to teach her. The Edgleys lost their cultural records of the Air Nomad practices, customs, and teachings long ago, while hiding and on the run. China has nothing, nor does the palace, and the Spirit Library is not even to be thought of after Skulduggery’s actions the last time they were there.

There is good news, however. Skulduggery’s background means that not only is he well-versed in all kinds of bending, but he is also one of the only self-taught benders in the world. There weren’t many firebenders willing to teach the enemy their tricks during the war, so he had to figure it out himself. He knows how to start from scratch in these matters. Furthermore, as an Arbiter of All Nations it’s his job-

(‘Technically?’ Valkyrie asks.

‘Literally,’ he replies.)

-to act on behalf of and in the interests of all nations. All the nations want Valkyrie trained. If she’ll have him, he offers himself as her airbending master.

To Valkyrie’s utter delight, he’s got the job. Not only because there’s suddenly a talented young airbender who no one else knows what to do with, but because no one is going to tell Skulduggery Pleasant what his specific duties entail.

Valkyrie notices, in the days after the coup, that people, old friends apparently, often come to talk to Skulduggery. Their conversations are quiet, and she usually only catches bits and pieces. There’s the general impression that they’re checking in on him, making sure he’s alright. She supposes she hasn’t really known him long enough or well enough to make judgements of her own, but their presence does encourage her to notice some of the silences he retreats into on occasion. Eventually, she asks him if he’s alright, to which he replies, with some consideration, that yes, he is. He’s killed the man who murdered his family and tortured him. Skulduggery is feeling a certain satisfaction, it has to be said. He says he’s looking forward to new things now. Valkyrie is too. Together they sit under the stars.

As the parents of the First Airbender, the Resurrector of the Air Nomads, officials fall over themselves to offer Desmond and Melissa housing in Ba Sing Se’s Inner Ring, in addition to places at official functions, etc. The attention is overwhelming, something they have never desired or imagined happening to them. Initially, they are reluctant to accept any of the offers, but, being sensible and practical people, they think it over and realise that Ba Sing Se offers the best resources for Valkyrie’s training and protection, and so relocating to the big city would be in their daughter’s interests. They politely decline the grand offers of titles and seats at functions, and move into Gordon’s villa rather than the grand housing of lords and nobles offered. They do, however, request positions in the city where they can continue their careers and remain somewhat independent, preferring to accept the vast amounts of assistance from the palace only as a last resort. They are not necessarily anti-monarchist, but they are also not blind to the realities of corruption within the Earth Kingdom’s government, and this latest fiasco has not helped any.

Skulduggery’s duties as arbiter do not generally allow him to remain fixed in one place for too long. It’s time for him to head out again, and at queries from King Thurid about what this means for Valkyrie’s instruction, Skulduggery answers that he’ll just take her with him, of course. They’ll head for the Air Temples, and see if they can find any surviving records of airbending.

Guild doesn’t seem entirely happy with that. Valkyrie gets the impression that while he obviously doesn’t want Skulduggery around, he’d rather someone from his own palace was teaching her so that she would remain his PR heaven-send and claim to fame throughout the world in perpetuity: the Earth King overseeing the First Airbender. But, as Skulduggery reminds Guild, he doesn’t have any right to keep her under his jurisdiction. She is not a threat who must be kept under watch, and there is no standing legislature to restrict the movements of airbenders.

Unless they’re the Avatar. Which she’s not. The next Avatar is an Earth Avatar, not an Air Avatar.

So Valkyrie and Skulduggery set off on their journey. Promising her parents she won’t be gone long and that she’ll write often, Valkyrie looks eagerly forward to more adventure. In a matter of days her life has completely turned around- for the better, she believes.

The wind tosses her hair around and caresses her skin, Skulduggery starts joking for the first time in days as they leave Ba Sing Se, and she knows she’s ready for so much more.

#skulduggery pleasant #fanfic #avatar au #fusion #ok style-wise things change up now #there's mostly only indirect narration from now on #with a few direct action scenes here and there

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maidofdarkness23 · 6 months

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Desmond: I need to tell you something. Melissa: What did you do? Desmond: When you were doing our taxes and noticed the missing check. Fergus (suspicious brother mode activated): What did you do? Desmond: Before I answer do you trust me enough to understand that it was for a good reason and just leave it at that? Melissa: What. Did. You. Do. Desmond: It’s all Gordon’s fault! He is a BAD person, I’ve been telling you for years! Fergus: WHAT DID YOU DO? Gordon: Okay now before I answer that- Melissa: Just tell us what you did Gordon: I got a DUI Fergus: Gordon! Gordon: It’s not as bad as it sounds Fergus: How is driving drunk not bad? Gordon: Well, I wasn’t exactly driving... Melissa: I don’t follow. Gordon: I was at the bar with Steph, and I had a few. Melissa and Fergus: STEPHANIE!? Stephanie/Valkyrie: With God as my witness I’ve never been to that bar, or any bar, in my life. Gordon: Jigs up kiddo, they know. Steph/Val: Oh. Oh then I’ve been there a bunch.

#skulduggery pleasant #valkyrie cain #gordon edgley #desmond edgley #melissa edgley #fergus edgley #stephanie edgley

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skulduggery-pleasant-bp9 · 8 months

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Playing with a Coroner and a Detective is not wise - Skulduggery x Male!Reader Universe MASTERLIST !!

Summary: Gordon Edgley is dead. M/n is Stephanie's older, adopted, Brother and he has real anger issues when it comes to his Family, which are only, Stephanie, Melissa, Desmond and Gordon. Thanks to some stupid psychos, M/n and Stephanie got introduced to a world of Magic. How will M/n react to it ? Will he like it ? Will his Family grow or will it become lesser ? Read here to find out !

CHAPTERS!:

Part 1 - Gordon’s Testament

Part 2 - Danger

Part 3 – Take us with you

Part 4 – China Sorrows

Part 5 – Tailor Bespoke

Part 6 – Convincing Ghastly

Part 7 – The Elders

Part 8 – The Coroner is ticked off

Part 9 – The Vault

Part 10 – M/n’s Workplace

Part 11 - Inspections

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incorrectspquotes · 1 year

Conversation

Gordon: Do you know what happens to people who ask too many questions?

Stephanie: No, what?

Gordon: Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve ’em right.

#skulduggery pleasant #valkyrie cain #gordon edgley #source: discworld

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a-mad-scientist-approaches · 5 months

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A New Era (1)

Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony, but everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he turned against it. A hundred years passed, and the war ended, but a new Avatar has yet to be found. The Earth Kingdom waits, ready, for any stirrings of power expected to rise in their lands. The Fire Nation works to rebuild relations with the rest of the world, sending its trusted envoy Skulduggery Pleasant to keep watch over Nefarian Serpine. The Water Tribes strengthen themselves, and the last scattered descendents of Air Nomads hide, not yet ready to believe they are safe. Their newest member, Stephanie Edgley, starts to stretch her wings. The pieces are in place. A transplant of the Skulduggery Pleasant characters and plot into the Avatar world, to see what would change.

Chapter 1: The Stage is Set

AO3 1 2 3 4 5 6

P1 P2 P3 P4

‘Story time! Story time!’

The little girl ran upstairs, never having looked so eager to be put to bed. Gordon followed, casting a helpless glance back at his brother and sister-in-law, who laughed heartlessly in his face and returned to their conversation by the fireside.

Sighing, Gordon left the warm embrace of Desmond and Melissa’s rather small (cosy, he corrected himself) living room and followed the five-year-old up the rickety staircase.

She was waiting in bed, practically vibrating with anticipation. Gordon took the seat she mandated by her bedside.

‘Story!’ she demanded again.

‘Alright, alright,’ Gordon said grumpily. ‘Spirits, you’re bossy tonight.’

‘Please,’ she corrected herself, giving an adorable gap-toothed grin that mercilessly eliminated all his defences. If Gordon hadn’t been so impressed by its effectiveness, he would have been irritated.

Who was he kidding, this kid had stolen his heart with her first words.

Fortunately, he reassured himself, no one besides himself knew that, so he would not be susceptible to any teasing from her parents. Ignoring the little voice reminding him that all his niece had to do was enthusiastically exclaim “Story time!” in order to get him to abandon intelligent adult conversation and obey her wishes, he made himself as comfortable as he could.

‘What story would you like tonight? The one about the valkyries?’

‘I’m Valkyrie,’ she told him.

‘Yes, your mum and dad were just telling me. Do you feel braver with your new name?’

‘Yes!’

‘No more bad dreams?’

‘Uh uh. No more bad spirit. He leaves me alone now.’

‘Well that’s very good to hear. You can raise all kinds of Cain for him now.’

Valkyrie laughed, even though Gordon didn’t think she knew what he meant.

‘So, what kind of story would you like? We’ll have to make it a good one, I’m going back to Omashu tomorrow.’

‘I wanna know about the airbenders!’ Valkyrie bounced in place, ruffling her covers.

Smoothing them back over, Gordon said, ‘Ah, yes. Now this one is a true story, so we have to be very respectful. Are you going to be good and listen quietly?’

Valkyrie nodded eagerly.

‘Alright then.

‘Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony, but everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. The evil Unnamed Fire Lord wanted to rule the world, so he secretly made machines that could climb cliff faces, and ships that could sail as fast as the waterbenders, and trained an army to overpower anyone who would dare stand in his way.’

‘Except the Avatar,’ breathed Valkyrie, eyes wide and entranced.

‘That’s right. Now the Avatar was only young- a little older than you. He was still being trained by the monks at the Air Temples, and was far from ready to face the Fire Lord. And the Fire Lord was coming. He knew he had to kill the Avatar if he wanted to rule the world, so the monks came up with a clever plan: they would trick the Fire Lord by hiding the Avatar at the Northern Air Temple, so that when the Fire Lord came to the Southern Air Temple, he wouldn’t find what he wanted, and the airbenders could trap him.

‘But something went wrong. The monks underestimated the Unnamed’s desire for power. Instead of just attacking the Southern Air Temple, all four temples around the world were invaded. The Unnamed had decreed that not only the Avatar, but all the airbenders must die. So the Fire Nation stormed the air temples and killed everyone they found, and if they heard whispers of airbenders who had escaped anywhere in the world, they would hunt them down and kill them too.’

‘How did the Avatar get away?’ Valkyrie asked in a hushed voice.

‘A very clever airbender protected him through the chaos of the battle. He helped hide him and trained him, taking him from nation to nation so he could master earthbending, and waterbending, and firebending too. They spent years hiding and biding their time, growing stronger and inspiring resistance and freedom fighters across the world! They became known as the Air Avatar and his master, the Last Airbender. And the Last Airbender was your great-grandfather.’

Valkyrie clearly already knew this, back to bouncing in place with a huge grin.

‘But we don’t talk about that to others, do we?’ prompted Gordon.

Valkyrie shook her head soberly. ‘It’s a secret.’

‘Yes it is.’

Before Gordon could continue with the story, Valkyrie asked, ‘Uncle Gordon, why is it a secret? There’s no more airbenders anywhere anymore, not even Mum or Daddy or you or me or Uncle Fergus or Aunty Beryl or Carol’n’Crystal.’

‘Well, the bad people who were around back then didn’t care if you were really an airbender or not. If you were related to an airbender, or friends with an airbender, or helped hide an airbender, that was good enough for them. So we just keep this little secret to ourselves, because even though it’s not that dangerous anymore, there’s still bad people like that out there somewhere.’

‘Okay.’ A troubled frown worked its way across Valkyrie’s face. ‘That’s scary.’

Gordon winced, then hastily backtracked, sitting on the bed beside Valkyrie and putting his arm around her, making sure not to squash the threadbare brown badgermole toy nestled in there with her. She snuggled into his side.

‘It’s okay, we’re just being careful. The bad people are all locked away now, and they’re not going to hurt us. You don’t have to be scared, we’re all perfectly safe. It’s just in case, you understand? Your mum and dad are never going to let anything happen to you.’

Looking slightly more reassured, Valkyrie nodded, and Gordon hurriedly continued with the story, hoping she’d forget about the warning.

‘So, once the Avatar was all grown up and had learnt how to bend all four elements, he went to fight the Fire Lord. And they had a great battle! Fire flew, and rocks smashed, and the wind howled and the ocean roared. It was incredible! But then the Avatar got hurt, and the Fire Lord was winning. He closed in, ready to strike- and out of nowhere, who came to rescue the Avatar but his old master and friend, the Last Airbender!’

‘The Last Airbender fought with everything he had! The Unnamed had killed his people, his family, his friends, and he would not let him take anyone else! He wanted to make the Unnamed pay for all he had done.’

‘That’s bad,’ Valkyrie piped up. Gordon glanced down at her in surprise.

‘Is it?’ he said with interest. He hadn’t thought she’d pick up on that particular moral deliberation.

‘Yeah. Daddy said the Air Nomads wanted peace, and wanted to be nice to other people, so that’s what we should do. Great-granddad forgot that.’

‘Yes. He did. Good girl for remembering.’ Personally, Gordon was on his grandfather’s side there, but he doubted Melissa would appreciate him lecturing her five-year-old daughter on the subtleties of war and justice.

‘Like you say, the Last Airbender forgot about what he’d been taught in his youth, and wanted revenge. He fought like he was possessed by a dark spirit! Some say he was, and that the blood of the Spirit World will forever flow in our veins.’ Valkyrie shrieked as he tickled her, giggling until she calmed down.

‘Really?’ she asked.

‘No,’ said Gordon. ‘He just fought really well.’

‘Oh. Okay.’

‘But in the end, the Unnamed won. The Last Airbender hurt the Fire Lord so much that he had to retreat, but was fatally wounded in return. With the last of his strength, he made sure the Avatar was safe, and would continue to fight back against the Fire Nation. And then he died, at peace and knowing he had done his part so that the world might one day be saved.

‘Reinvigorated, the Avatar might have gone right after the Unnamed and challenged him again! But something was happening in the Fire Nation. The Unnamed was old, and though he was powerful, he was growing weaker. One of his younger generals decided that he wanted the throne for himself, and before the Avatar could finish the job, he assassinated the Unnamed and crowned himself Fire Lord Mevolent.

‘Fire Lord Mevolent was no less evil than his predecessor, and the Fire Nation became stronger under his reign. For sixty more years, the war raged, and the Fire Nation was clever. They knew the Air Avatar wanted to defeat the Fire Lord, and made sure that he never got another opportunity. And so, in the end, it came down to the sheer will of the people.

‘After one hundred years of war, the world was desperate. It was no longer the Avatar’s job to save everyone- it was up to everyone to save each other. So the Earth Kingdom gathered the last of its soldiers, and the Water Tribes the last of their warriors, and even the people in the Fire Nation who didn’t agree with the war and didn’t like Fire Lord Mevolent all rose up! And together, they planned, and they were clever, and they became strong and quick and braver than they had ever been before! Fire Lord Mevolent was a very evil man, and he was bad to many, many people, even his own family. Eventually, he made so many enemies that the bad Fire Nation soldiers were overwhelmed, and Mevolent himself was defeated by his own son. The war was finally over.

‘Fire Lord Caisson put the bad Fire Nation generals in prison, and the ones who were willing to learn how to be good again were given a second chance. Then, he and everyone who had helped him began rebuilding cities and villages and farms, but most importantly, they began to rebuild trust. And in the end, the world became much safer, and much, much happier. Just in time too,’ Gordon added, ‘because you, little missy, were born not long after the Hundred Year War ended. We needed to make sure everything was ready for you, after all.’

Valkyrie giggled, but her smile faded sooner than Gordon would have liked, and she cast worried eyes up at him. ‘But Uncle Gordon, you said all the bad people got locked away, but just now you said some of them got a second chance. What if they go back to being bad?’

Well, Gordon couldn’t say he wasn’t worried about that too. It had taken Gordon longer than he cared to admit to relax around any firebenders; he was still learning, to be honest. After generations of knowing that the lives of himself and his family rested on one stray rumour about their heritage, deconstructing that mentality was going to take some time. Especially as more than a few of the firebenders loyal to Mevolent had escaped capture and were still out in the world somewhere.

Fortunately, most of the really crazy fanatics had been jailed in various top-secret locations around the world that Skulduggery wouldn’t divulge no matter how much Gordon pestered him. But Serpine now, Serpine was a worry. Apparently the Dai Li had him under strict observation in Ba Sing Se. Not strict enough, if Gordon’s sources were to be believed, and Gordon was inclined to do so; after all, there had to be a reason Skulduggery had gotten the Fire Lord to make him a Special Envoy and send him over to the Earth Kingdom. If that reason wasn’t something to do with keeping an eye on Serpine, Gordon would eat a whole sack of fireflakes.

‘They’re not going to do that,’ Gordon told his niece reassuringly. ‘Have you heard of the Earth King? The one in Ba Sing Se?’

‘Eechan-Mary Torteyus.’

Gordon laughed. ‘Yes, him.’

‘Mummy says he wouldn’t know what we want if we bit him on the bum.’

‘Er, right. Him. Well, after the war King Eachan put a lot of rules in place to make sure that the people who were bad during the war could never do what they did again. So you don’t have to worry, because all the Dai Li agents and Earth Kingdom soldiers are ready for anything bad to happen.’

‘Uncle Gordon?’

‘Yes?’

‘What happened to the Avatar? He never defeated the Fire Lord. You said Caisson did instead.’

‘Well, that’s a bit of a sad story. You see, he never got another chance to end the war, and one day, after he’d done a lot of good things and helped lots and lots of people, he died.’

‘But there’s always an Avatar. He gets re-in-car-nat-ed,’ Valkyrie sounded out carefully. ‘That means he gets born again into another body.’

Gordon huffed dramatically. ‘Why don’t you tell the story then, since you seem to know everything, Little Miss Smartypants?’

Once she finished giggling, he said, ‘Yes, the Avatar was born again, into one of the Water Tribes this time. No one ever found out who he was though. Eventually he came out of hiding, but instead of helping, he joined Fire Lord Mevolent.’

‘A bad Avatar?’

‘A very bad one.’ Gordon had only ever heard stories, but they’d chilled him nevertheless. He was definitely planning on including some of them in a book one day. ‘People think he died at the end of the war, but the next Avatar hasn’t been found yet.’

‘What happens when they are?’

‘Well, you remember those rules I told you the Earth King made? Some of them mean that when the Earth Avatar is found, all their training and schooling will take place under the Earth King’s supervision. He doesn’t want the Avatar to become bad again, and he’s going to make sure it doesn’t happen.’

‘Oh. Okay.’

‘Now, do you think I’ve given you enough dreams for tonight?’

‘But I want more stories!’

‘Ah ah ah, you’ve coerced too many out of me tonight as it is. Time for bed now, or your mum and dad aren’t going to be very happy with me.’

With much whining and extortion (on Valkyrie’s part) for more stories to come, Gordon was eventually able to tuck her and her badgermole into bed. As he blew out the candle, he heard one last sleepy, ‘Uncle Gordon?’

‘Yes Valkyrie?’

‘Why did the Water Avatar go bad?’

‘No one really knows. Sometimes people just make bad choices.’

‘That’s sad.’

‘Yes, it is.’

‘Okay. G’night Uncle Gordon.’

‘Good night, little miss troublemaker.’

Shutting the wooden door quietly, Gordon reflected on that. For his writing, he’d researched the Avatar Cycle quite a bit. He’d heard that the spirit of the Avatar, Raava, was one of light and peace. It fundamentally shouldn’t be possible for an avatar to wreak as much harm as the last Water Avatar did; to do so would cut them off from the very core of their being… it must have torn him apart inside.

Although, the general consensus was, if there was ever anyone capable of cleaving their own soul in half, it was Avatar Vile.

#see ao3 tags #avatar au #fusion #avatar vile was my brainwave #cuz the egocentricity #inherited superpowers #and life tragedies #make skug destined for avatarship #skulduggery pleasant

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