#Emily: i really thought you were going to say 'doggy style' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nevvdrinksteaa · 9 days

Note

PLEASE Spencer answering a work call in the middle of sex??? Super smutty

just wanna say that this is my first request and it makes me feel special so thank you !!! hopefully you like this <3

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: 18+ nsfw smut, porn with small plot, afab reader, fingering, p in v sex, post prison spence, riding, doggy style, and missionary (yall were busy), spitting kink !!, spanking (once?), face slapping (i’m not sorry), slight oral (f receiving), lots of pet names (baby, angel, pretty girl), let me know if i missed anything !!

word count: 1.8k (got a little carried away)

also note to everyone- y’all absolutely devoured my spencer post the other day, a little less than 800 notes last i checked, and i just want to say i was very caught off guard and appreciate it so much !!

+ i apologize for the overuse of commas & very limited vocabulary,, i feel like i used the same 10 words smh

+ NOT PROOF READ !!

~~~

“i was able to talk to the brass about getting the week off. the past few weeks have been tough and i think we all need a well deserved break.”

you were all gathered in the round table room for a meeting emily called. in the past two weeks, the team had been assigned three back to back cases; which meant three different unsubs, three different cities, and three different hotel rooms. you hadn’t slept in your own bed in fifteen days, already feeling giddy at the thought of snuggling up in your bed, binge watching mindless reality tv, and fueling yourself with nothing but sweet treats.

matt was the first to speak, already standing up gathering his things from the table, “as much as i love you all i’m going to rush home to the wife and kids, i miss their little faces”

you all followed suit, collecting all of your belongings and saying your goodbyes, all of you raving about your week off plans. you walked to your desk, grabbing your bag and keys. you walked towards the elevator, pressing the down button, watching it slowly fall from floor 10 to floor 9, before tapping your foot, slightly agitated about how long it seemed to be taking.

you heard footsteps heading your way, small taps on sneakers on the slick marble floor, before felt a slight nudge at your side “you know, being mad at it won’t make it work any faster”

you chuckle looking up, making eye contact with spencer before giving him a small grin. “i’m just really ready to get home.”

the elevator doors open, spencer waved his hand up, allowing you to go first, before following you in and pressing the main lobby button. “you in such a rush because you have a hot date to get to?”

you looked up at him and grinned, you felt spencer’s hand move to your back, rubbing the center in small circles with your thumb. you felt your face get hot and you allowed yourself to slightly lean into his touch. the elevator stopped at the lobby, a small chime signaling the doors opening, and you felt spencer’s hand fall back to his side before you both stepped out of the box.

you both made your way to the parking garage, spencer walking you to your car before he headed towards the station to take the subway. you got to your car, unlocking it and throwing your purse inside before looking up at him with a slight smirk “text me when you’re on your way”

he shook his head and laughed as he gave you a small wave goodbye and headed towards the subway.

~~~

it had only been three days since you were given the week off, enjoying the company of spencer in your bed two thirds of those nights. he texted you the same night as the encounter in the parking garage, eager to see you in a private setting.

“look how pretty you look sitting on my cock”

you were straddling him, your head thrown back with both hands on his shoulders as you tried to keep a quick pace. he had his hands pressed deep into your hips, helping you move in a fluid motion. you felt him hit your sweet spot every time you made your way down, letting out tiny whimpers at the feeling.

“i love when you use me like this, getting yourself off like a good girl”

you couldn’t hold in the loud moan you had been holding, feeling your stomach flutter at his words. you felt a slight burning in your thighs and you knew spencer’s shoulders held tiny crescent shapes from how tight your grip had become. you felt one of spencer’s hands move to your clit, rubbing small circles on the bundle of nerves.

he grabbed your chin, making you look him in the eyes. you looked at him and grinned, fucked out and eager before you felt a sudden surge against your cheek before he let his hand rest there, rubbing his thumb to ease the pain.

“you gonna cum for me angel?”

“fuck- yes spence, i’m so- so close” you couldn’t even hear the words coming out of your mouth, your heartbeat beating so loud your hearing going out.

you moved your head down pushing your forehead to spencer’s with your eyes tight.

“cum for me baby, wanna feel you tighten around my cock.”

you felt that tight feeling in your stomach, the mix of his skilled fingers and his thick cock rubbing against your walls caused your breath to stop in your throat, your release making you see stars. you stopped your movement, breathing heavily as you leaned down into spencer. you felt soft kisses on your head and face, peppering you all over.

“did so good for me baby, love watching you use me”

you smiled against his neck, starting to do your own kissing. you felt his breath hitch when you found the sweet spot behind his ear, the small mole behind it always guiding you to the exact spot. you took your time, sucking and biting at the spot, grinding your hips, ready to keep going.

spencer gave your thigh a quick tap, before telling you to bend over. you were quick to roll over, propping yourself up on your hands and knees before slowly wiggling yourself back and forth to him.

you felt a sharp pain on your ass, a slight stinging feeling before you felt a tight grip run through your hair. you felt your body being pulled tightly to his, his chest flushed against your back. he moved one of his hands to your chest, a his fingers glazing your nipple, his other moving to your neck, pushing his thumb and middle finger to just the right spot to apply pressure.

“i let you use me, now it’s my turn to use you angel” spencer had leaned down to your ear, kissing your jaw before pushing you back down onto the bed.

spencer leaned down slightly, gripping your ass with both hands before spreading them. he let a trail of spit fall to your eager hole, before he rubbed it onto your pussy, giving your clit extra attention.

you moaned and pushed back into his touch before you felt him enter you quick and unforgiving, your ass jiggling with every move of his hips.

“fuck- so fucking deep” you arched your back, begging your body to somehow take him deeper. you felt his firm calloused hands rub against your back before settling into a position on your hips, his thumbs pressing small bruises into your skin.

“taking me so fuck-”

spencer’s voice was cut off by his phone ringing, vibrating on the nightstand beside you, and you felt his hips slow down, letting out a soft sigh as he was considering stopping completely.

you felt him hesitate but needed him to keep going, pushing your hips back into his trying to keep both of your focus.

“spence, please don’t stop” your voice still unsteady, “just ignore it”

spencer pulled out of you, and you let out a whine as the loss of contact. you rolled yourself over, making yourself comfortable on the pillows expecting him to walk away to return the call.

instead he leaned back over you and pulled you into a deep kiss, holding your face in both hands. your lips parting slightly when you felt his tongue lick your bottom lip, allowing your tongues to meet.

spencer grabbed his dick, rubbing over your clit before he lined himself up with you, gasping when he pushed himself in.

“you’re so fucking perfect angel”

he pulled away, lifting your legs up to your shoulders and latching his hands to your thighs. he found himself moving slow and deep, like he was trying to memorize the way you felt around him.

you moved your hands to play with your nipples, rolling the hard buds between your finger tips. he bent down, pushing his weight into you, almost like he was folding you. he pooled spit into his mouth before he let it go to your clit, moving his hand to the bundle of nerves.

“want you to cum again for me pretty girl, want one more before i fill you up”

you let out a moan, sighing before you went to speak “gonna fill me-”

you were cut off by the phone ringing again, the buzzing sound making you forget your thoughts. spencer dropped your thighs and leaned over before giving you a quick kiss before he reached over to grab phone.

“spencer do not answer that”

he moved his finger to his lips, making a shushing motion “it’s emily”

you rolled your eyes, ready to kick him out and finish yourself off before heading to bed when you felt him move again. he moved his hand to cover your mouth before answering the phone.

“doctor reid”

you felt yourself get wetter, the sound of your slick filling the room, your moan mumbled behind his hand. spencer’s motion was relentless, his pace quick and brutal, jabbing your sweet spot with every push.

“i thought we were getting the week off”

your leg was lifted up, making the angle even deeper and you felt your eyes roll back, out of pleasure or annoyance you couldn’t tell. there was no way you were getting called in.

“i can get a hold of her for you, i remember her mentioning something about having a date this week”

you grinned, giggling behind his hand before spencer moved the phone to hold it on his shoulder, letting his now free hand to move back down. he never took his eyes off you, holding a shit eating grin as he felt you squeezing him tighter, squirming at how close you were. you furrowed your brows and pinched your eyes shut.

“i’ll be there in an hour”

you heard the phone beep, signaling the call was disconnected. spencer moved his hand away from your mouth down to your neck, cursing as he heard you gasp.

“did so good for me pretty girl”

his hips stopped deep inside you as you felt his cock twitch, filling you up. he groaned as he felt you cumming again, keeping his thumb in place to help your orgasm finish and you let a loud moan out in response. spencer gave you a long kiss, nipping at your bottom lip before he trailed his lips down your neck. he pulled himself out of you, grinning at the soft sigh you let out. he kept his lips on your body, trailing them down your stomach before reaching your thighs and nipping at the sensitive skin.

he moved his tongue and licked a long strip up your pussy, sucking on your clit before pulling up to look at you, shit eating grin on his face. “we’ve got roughly 30 minutes, that’s enough time for me to help you clean up, right angel?”

#nev writes #prison spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds smut #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds

2K notes · View notes

itsjaybullme · 7 years

Text

The Worst Things to Say to a Woman During Sex—According to Real Women

PeopleImages / Getty Images

You know not to tell your girlfriend that her butt looks big in those size-too-small jeans and you wouldn’t dare allude to how scary she is during that time of the month. But despite all of the female intel passed down from one generation of men to the next, a lot of dudes seem to be totally clueless when it comes to what’s kosher to say between the sheets.

Sex hormones can make you blurt out some crazy stuff—we totally get it. But there are some things that even the most laid-back ladies won’t let slide. How can we be sure? Because we asked 17 women to reveal the very worst thing a guy has ever said to them during sex—and laid it all out for you here. (You’re welcome!) To ensure you don’t make a bedroom fumble you won’t be able to recover from, read on and find out what they said.

1. "Helloooo?"

“There was one time that my high school boyfriend picked up the phone while we were going at it doggy style. Unless an Adele song is playing in the background, "Helloooo?" is the last thing I want to hear while doing the deed.” — Victoria, TX

2. “When’s the last time you worked out?”

“After I broke my leg in college, I put on a few pounds. And one night, while my (former) guy and I were having sex he said something like ‘make sure you always work out.’ Let’s just say he’s an ex-boyfriend for a reason.” — Meg, NJ

3. “Keep doing that, Sarah—I mean, Caitlyn.”

“During sex one of my ex-boyfriends called me by his last girlfriend’s name. That was a mood killer.” — Caitlyn, MI

4. “Hold on, it’s my mom!”

“One time my guy and I were in the middle of really hot sex when his phone started to ring. Apparently it was a special ringtone he had set up for his mom so he immediately stopped and told me to hold on so he could send it to voicemail. Talk about a major mood killer. The lesson here, guys: Make sure your ringer is off on date night!” — Steph, WA

5. “You look so sexy when you do that, Cuddle Muffin!”

“I once dated a guy who would always call me by my pet name when we were having really hot, kinky sex. Mind you, he called me Cuddle Muffin so it was really distracting and always ruined the hot vibes we had going on.” — Lauren, FL

6. “Can you remind me to pick up the dry cleaning after this?

“One time during sex with my boyfriend he kept rattling off items from his to-do list and asking me to remind him about them when we were done. Obviously, he wasn’t too focused on the fact that he had a naked girl in his bed. Maybe he just had a lot on his mind that particular day, but it was a huge blow to my self-esteem.” — Alexis, NH

7. “Do you wear a padded bra?”

“One of the first times I fully stripped down with my boyfriend, he said something along the lines of ‘They’re smaller than they look with your shirt on. Do you wear a padded bra?’ Way to knock a girl's confidence, buddy!” — Abby, OR

8. “Where did the condom go?”

“In the middle of really hot doggy style sex with my college boyfriend, he suddenly yelled ‘Oh my god! Where did the condom go?!’ We searched for like 10 minutes trying to find it with no luck.” — Danielle, OK

9. “You’re so sexy, baby!”

“I absolutely hate when guys I’ve just started to date say things like ‘Your so sexy, baby’ in bed. It seems so cliché and ungenuine, which totally turns me off.” — Jesse, NY

10. “Are you close?”

“While going down on me, my guy said, ‘Are you close? Just cum already.’ At that point, I told him to just give up. Mood = killed.” — Madison, NJ

11. “Am I hurting you!?”

“It was one of the first few times I was having sex with my then-new boyfriend, and I was on top. When I was getting close to the finish line, he yelled ‘Oh my god! What's wrong?! Did I hurt you?’ I was about to have an orgasm and he mistook my “O” face for a wince. It was a really long time—like over a year—before I had the confidence to be on top again. If your girlfriend is in pain, she will tell you, guys. Trust me.” — Liz, AZ

12. “Don’t tell anyone about this, OK?”

“I was dating this guy from my geology class in college, and after a few weeks, we finally slept together. Everything was going fine, until halfway through he stops and asks me not to tell anyone that we were having sex. When I asked why he said that he really wanted a serious girlfriend and he didn’t want word to get out that he sleeps around. I wanted to slap him across the face.” — Alyssa, MA

13. “Getting you in bed was easier than I thought it would be.”

“I had heard that this guy I was seeing was a total jerk but didn’t want to believe it. When we finally slept together he said to me, ‘Wow, getting you in bed was easier than I thought it would be.’ To make matters worse, he had one of those big red Easy Buttons from Staples next to his bed and he pushed that, too. When the button blurted out ‘That was easy’ I wanted to curl up and die right then and there. Needless to say, I learned the hard way how big of a jerk the guy really was.” — Alexis, ME

14. “Let’s make this quick, OK?”

“It’s so annoying when my fiancé tells me that he wants to rush through sex because he’s tired or needs to wake up early. It’s basically code for, ‘I need to get off and I don’t really feel like putting in the time to make sure you cum, too.’ No, thank you! That’s what your hand is for.” — Kayla, PA

15. “I love you!”

“Freshman year of college I was dating this guy, Ryan. The night we decided to exclusively date—which was a month or so after we met—we went back to his place and had sex. And right in the middle of it all, he called out, ‘Oh my God! I love you!’ Um, thanks? Needless to say, we ignored each other for the next three and a half years of school.” — Emily, WV

16. “Can we try this thing I did with my ex?”

“Sometimes when my boyfriend and I have drunk sex he will ask if we can try certain positions that he use to do with other women. Nothing makes me more jealous and angry in the bedroom.” — Heather, CT

17. "Does that feel good?"

“I hate when a guy asks if what he’s doing to me in bed feels good. If you have to ask the answer is probably no. Thinking about all the ways I can get out of answering is really distracting and takes away from anything he’s doing right.” — Brittany, DE

from Bodybuilding Feed http://www.muscleandfitness.com/features/edge/worst-things-say-woman-during-sex-according-real-women via http://www.rssmix.com/

1 note · View note

fuckwhoevertookpringlelips · 7 years

Text

Column #1

Hello, what’s up doggies. Jose here. Gosh, this is my first column for y’all but I am just so darn tired. I really should have started this earlier in the week. I would like for my first column to have been better but I guess already it is pretty bad.

Wait! I can go pour myself a little Ketel One and be back in the saddle just long enough to bang out my five hundred words! That would help wake me up after that huge Mexican dinner that Emily made tonight. Man...between the beans, rice, tortillas and brew, I just feel like one big gas bubble, on the brink. But anyway, hold on. I have to go to the kitchen for a minute and pour me some diamond juice.

Hello! I’m back. Man, I just had a sip and already I can feel it cutting through all that heavy jive in my belly. Whew!

WHOAH! Alright, I didn’t say this at first but I put a little tonic in the vodka. The bubbles helped me make this massive, incredible burp just now! Oh my God it was like a huge amount of what was bothering me after dinner just came shooting right out. I feel so relieved. It was like what it must be like when the people on death row get that needle in their arm: it was the final release.

I just realized that I might get a lot of hate mail about that last line, the one about death row and comparing involuntary death to the relief I felt when I burped just now. I guess that is pretty bad and I think I could do better. Hold on.

Alright, I think I thought of something. The relief I felt after that massive burp was like the relief you feel when you’re way too turned around on liquor and you know you’re gonna puke, and then you finally do, like in an upstairs bathroom where the party can’t hear, and then it’s like immediately all better. You feel great. You even go back down and talk to people.

Man, this isn’t starting out classy at all. At first I thought I would kind of have this “Playboy” type column—you know, real gentlemen’s stuff, but with kind of a sense of hipness and adventure. Good clothes, good food, high-end electronics and digital cigar cutters, maybe a little bit of etiquette and tips on personal grooming. But here I go, talking about puke. Man, this has got to be the worst “bon vivant” column ever.

What does a real gentleman talk about, anyway? I guess a real gentleman doesn’t do the talking, but rather guides conversation in a clever yet undetectable way. Man, I ain’t no good at that. Plus, a column only has one person talking, so it’s got to be kind of self-directed.

Alright, I’m sorry this has been so pointless. I am feeling a lot better now though and I think I’m ready to get started. It’s kind of like the gassiness has all either blown out through my mouth or is just makin’ its way down through the pickle factory. Maybe it’s time to choose a topic! Alright, I think I’m going to discuss the right way to eat Mexican food and some things you should avoid. Here we go!

GENTLE READER: few things in life are so uncomfortable as the enormous “wind bubbles” one’s body creates after eating some delicious, tempting Mexican food. And just what is it about Mexican food that creates such a troublesome atmosphere within us? The answer: it is a complex system of enzymatic chemical reactions which occur when soft, starchy foods meet the digestive acids which naturally pool in our stomachs.

Oh man, I can’t write like that. It sounds too much like the regular Playboy writer. I feel so phony and additionally I think people will feel like I am just ripping him off. Why don’t I just try to write in my normal style. I think that is the only long-term solution. Okay, here we go! (and no italics this time.)

Look people, if you are going to eat a bunch of Mexican food then you are basically just screwed. You’re gonna blow up like a balloon and feel all disgusting, and you are going to hate yourself. Man, if some jerk-ass friend of yours has a dinner party and makes some cheesy “burrito bar,” just play it cool. Eat a full meal before you go there, so that you aren’t tempted by the hugely gassy foods. This way, you can tuck into a cold Bohemia or Negro Modelo and not worry about it reacting with your dinner, requirin’ all kinds of suspicious private walks on the driveway.

What you’ll find at one of these “burrito bar” parties is that the food is so delicious, all salty and filling, that everyone just fats up on the stuff, getting seconds and thirds of the tasty cheeses and beans. They stuff themselves on tortilla chips and tortillas, plus nice Spanish rice. Then there they are, sitting like powder kegs lined across the couch, trying to ask each other to change the channel from C.O.P.S. to the ball game, but they can barely get more than one or two words out at a time because these real acidic tomato sauce flavor hiccup-burps keep punchin’ back on up their throat. And do you know what the flame is, that will ignite the fuse of their esophagus?

It is a beer. Man, if you were to take the contents of one of their stomachs after that big dinner, and just pour it in a steel mixing bowl and then pour a nice Mexican beer all over it, you’d get one of those little volcanoes like you made as a kid, all with baking soda and vinegar. Now imagine that happening inside a little bloody balloon, and you’ll know what’s goin’ on with your stomach next time you eat Mexican food. You can see why the stomach is so distressed. Play it cool and just just do some tequila shooters (tequila-salt-lime), maybe dip a chip or two with the hottest salsa they have (hot salsa thins the blood, which is excellent for you). Then you will escape the pain of a terrible Mexican food party.

Okay, maybe this wasn’t the best first column a guy could write. I mean, I really wanted this to be about like jet skis, night vision Ray Bans and the double-stitched pebbled leather interior that you can get in the new Hummer. I looked back over this and it’s all just about farting?! Man, I wish I hadn’t signed a year-long contract, goddamn it. Next time I go to negotiate I am definitely not going to get all torched first and then just repeat what anyone says to me right back at them.

Until then, Gentlemen, -=Jose=-

0 notes