#I don't hate it but making it has been a test for my tourettes for some reason

[cannibalhellhound]

This is for @topgunalternateuniverse bingo

This one was Hanahaki

The petals are white chrysanthemums because I love them.

There is a second piece I'll paint at a later date (it's sadder imo)

#tw blood #hanahaki #I kinda know what's happening but also it's sad and I'm allergic to angst so I don't want it #✌🏼 #pete maverick mitchell #topgun au #Air Gays™ #HelloI'mHayden #I don't hate it but making it has been a test for my tourettes for some reason #so fuck it #love the idea tho #10/10 will do this trope more often 👍🏼 #topgun #top gun #top gun 1986 #tg #tgm #top gun fanart #maverick #pete mitchell

[neurosky]

so, little health update for you guys

physical health

as for physical health, there's a lot of suspected stuff going on. my FND symptoms have been great, i had practically no symptoms for a couple months and i'm about 3.5 months seizure free! the only symptoms i've been experiencing have been seizure activity (but no seizures) off and on, and some weakness in my legs and forearms. this is just caused by stress from school, so i think it'll go away fairly soon as school stress is being worked on with my counselor.

for tourette's, it's been the same as always i guess. i haven't had a tic attack since i've gotten back from the hospital, so that's good. still working on not suppressing so much, though.

the only big thing has been suspected PANS. i won't explain what it is here, but google is a great thing. it's not for sure that i have it, but it's something we want me to be tested for. i think i would still have tourette syndrome along with the PANS, because i've had small littel tics my whole life and my dad has some suspected tics too.

mental health

well shit. here we go. (TW, i would say what it's for but idk how to describe it sorry)

my mental health had been doing pretty good, and then suddenly one night i had some sort of episode and ended up in the psych ward. when i got back i was depressed, but not nearly as depressed as i have been before, so it wasn't too bad. and then a stupid algebra test ruined it all. i had missed at least 4 lessons in algebra while i was out of school, and i had a test almost the day i got back. my teacher let me put it off for a bit so i could study, but i was so stressed i couldn't study without having some sort of mental health episode. these episodes could range from inconsolable sobbing and nearly being suicidal and being convinced that i hate everything, to paranoia and partial delusions, if that's even possible. on the day of the test, i had an episode and actually walked off campus, down the road, to a convenience store. i don't know why, i just did. i wasn't fully aware of what was going on around me at the time so i'm not sure exactly what happened. i'm safe now, i haven't had an episode since i did the test.

these episodes are part of the reason we're suspecting PANS, because there's just not really a diagnosis other than BPD that makes sense. I already have a lot of other diagnoses that would match up with the symptoms of PANS, and with the added BPD-like symptoms, we're just really suspecting it.

i'm doing better now, still upset, but better.

so, yeah, that's how my health has been recently. i feel like i overshared a bit on the mental health side, but i like to be mostly open and honest about things a lot of the time.

#tourette syndrome #tourettes #tics #cw tics #pans/pandas #pandas/pans #pans syndrome #sky's pans journey