#I wouldn't be writing about Sylvie being four years old and a horrible little gremlin girl if I was doing this for numbers

[goatmilksoda]

it's always so scary when you dump your heart and soul into a chapter and think "hehehehe my audience is going to think I'm so clever and they'll love this!" and you genuinely had a great time writing it so you finally put the chapter out into the world and it's like *refresh* *refresh* *refresh* (repeat x3 days) and that inbox number for comments just stays 0.

#HEY THIS ISN'T TO GUILT ANYONE BTW #I just thought other authors would relate #I understand leaving comments can be really scary and sometimes emotionally draining #this isn't about that #I understand #but it's just scary when even your comment regulars don't show up to a chapter you thought was wonderful #and you stop and think 'shit what did I do wrong. What's not working?' #but you can't know because people won't tell you #anyway the point is: #My lovely audience who reads this blog I love you this isn't about you this is for other authors who can relate #and I also don't want to hear 'but you should be writing for yourself!!!' #because guess what? #I wouldn't be writing agere fanfiction about Loki Laufeyson over a year after the tv show came out if I was doing it for numbers!! #I wouldn't be writing about Sylvie being four years old and a horrible little gremlin girl if I was doing this for numbers #I wouldn't have 50 chapters in one fic + 30 between the other two planned if it was for numbers #all I'm saying is that this fic has good subs an ok kudo ratio and a good number of bookmarks but just... no comments on new chapters #and it's like 'ok shit what am I doing wrong? What do people want to see?' #goat talk #ao3 writer #vent #rant