#I'm just fantasizing abt a clean apartment. no sticky surfaces. no bad smells. mmmmm

[daz4i]

how is it. that for a whole week. the house smelled fine, and other than some dust and cat hair it was really clean too, and everything was organized and easy to find with no towers of dishes in the sink about to topple over. even tho i didn't clean that much or do anything out of the ordinary to keep the house this way. but now my parents have been home for like 3 days and already every room except for mine is inhospitable from how bad they all smell, and there's mess all over, and the table is constantly sticky, and the sink is somehow full yet barely has any dishes in it bc the way they're organized is so ineffective, and i hate it here i wanna leave so bad

#i know i probably can't run a place in the long term on my own. but. neither can they apparently!!!!! damn!!!!!!!! #idk if it's been getting worse recently or if my patience just runs thinner lately #the way they live is just incompatible with me and my needs really #ough ough ough i need to move out. I'm so scared. but it'll be good for me probably. #I'm just fantasizing abt a clean apartment. no sticky surfaces. no bad smells. mmmmm #vent #sorry i had to clean my brain out. it did help tho. i needed to complain abt this shit 😭 #today has been awful in part bc of that. the constant bad smells that stick to everything. the inability to do things when i need to #this shit makes me literally unable to function on even the most basic levels... like i didn't really eat or move much bc i felt so bad #i have an easier time when I'm alone. life becomes easier to handle when i can do it on my own terms #but I'm so scared 😔 and I'm stressed about the process of getting there too #maybe this is the reason I'm having stress nightmares these days idk. i need to send some files for that. but I'm too scared