#In the Tunnel Rescue of BB!AVOS I have a CLEAR scene in my head where they're all escaping

[bonefall]

I think Nightcloud's Thaw (assuming you keep that title) is a great idea not only because your Nightcloud is so interesting and because she as a character deserves more spotlight, but also because it would be interesting to see Crowfeather begin to change from her perspective. After all, you said it was a surprise he offered to help save Breezepelt at all- and what better way to show that than for us to not be inside his head when he makes the decision to offer to help?

I'm feeling more and more confident about it. I think BB!Nightcloud is absolutely the best choice of a character to observe the events of "Crowfeather's Trial," now Nightcloud's Thaw.

Nightcloud's Thaw is an okay title for now, but I want to bat around some more names.

It's meant to invoke the way her life begins to turn around, after Crowfeather's exile; beginning with that reveal, how Crowfeather's behavior reaches a breaking point in the Clan, her reputation turn-around, and finally accepting Crowfeather's help in aiding Breezepelt.

So "thaw" is one way to put it... but if I could capture something more related to the change of seasons or time, that would be good too. Nightcloud's Daybreak, Nightcloud's Horizon.

We can go through Nightcloud's process of unlearning with her.

The dread and fury at the reveal, the shock when Crowfeather actually sees a consequence, and the way that suddenly the Clan is sympathetic towards her in a way they'd never been

How this newfound empathy feels somewhat insulting to her, but, how it helps her start to realize that she DOESN'T deserve how Crow treats her.

Makes it easy to truncate most of OotS, can quickly be described as "they stayed together slightly longer, but if it wasn't dead, their relationship was quickly dying."

And really get to the meat of the story with how Crowfeather deflecting the blame of their son's Dark Forest training on her was the LAST straw. For everyone. Including Crowfeather himself.

(I think I'll actually change around the fight in the BOTTE to be Breeze attacking CROW, and Lionblaze STOPS him. Because killing his pathetic dad, in the end, wouldn't fix anything and would ruin his life forever. Really change it to stress that no one likes Crowfeather because of how he keeps treating people. If Crow wants to turn that around, he has to CHANGE.)

(Plus, something just feels nice about letting the two have a bond. Something about how they were both pulled out of the dirt at the Kitty Olympics and washed clean by Nightcloud, starting this deep, brotherly bond somehow. I'll have to revisit this.)

Nightcloud alone can link the way that Crowfeather is trying to change himself, AND the way Breezepelt is getting worse, in the way I want

She's cautious of Crowfeather, for good, obvious reasons. He hurt her, and has only ever used her good faith as leverage against her.

And she's charitable to Breezepelt, because she knows exactly what pain is behind his rash, emotional behaviors.

SO I can frame them both in the way I want through her eyes.

Plus, I need a place to put her childhood. If it's not here, I wouldn't have a good spot to put it.

I could link all the flashback segments with having Addersong pass away, since he would be VERY old at this point. It could be very bittersweet for her

She spent so much time away from her beloved mentor, who taught her so much.

She could have had so many wonderful years with him, his advice, and his songs. But now he's an elder in his last moons

All because she let her heart be hardened after the death of her family. Pain lead her astray so many times...

I'll probably rework a LOT of the stoat stuff. I know right away there's a lot of actions in CT I want to rip away from Crowfeather and hand over to Breezepelt; a lot of the loud, openly argumentative moments he has with Onestar for example. SHOW the way that Breezepelt interprets Harespring/Darkseeker's diplomatic responses as "sniveling and traitorous" to him.

Have Nightcloud be trying to bridge this gap between Breezepelt and his Clanmates with her new reputation, and it just not working.

Maybe shuffle Nightcloud's disappearance near the end of the book, around the time that the Kin appears. Show that his mother being suspected dead was a BIG reason Breezepelt made such an emotional choice to join the Kin, and bring his other allies with him.

#Nightcloud's Thaw #Better bones au #In the Tunnel Rescue of BB!AVOS I have a CLEAR scene in my head where they're all escaping #And Breeze is harangued by a 'bully' character who antagonizes him all series long in the Kin #And just as he's forced onto his back in the leaf litter in a brawl #Nightcloud SURGES out of the tunnel-- the first of Harespring's team-- and CLOCKSS that bully #TAKEN OUT BY THE WORD GO #ANNOUNCER CHEERS #ITS NIGHTCLOUD WITH THE STEEL FIST #She can be the only cat on the screen EVER who punches another cat and knocks them CLEAN outcold LMAOO #And then the others stream out and reveal the Rescue Team which was Heather and Hare's plan all along #But Nightcloud gets to be the first one out #Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train #And sometimes it's Nightcloud #Same thing.