#It's dumb and it's selfless and it's selfish and it's stupid and it's unbelievably kind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tartaghetti · 4 years

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unbearable

a haikyuu x reader ficlet

words: 3.01k

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader

warning/s: just pure fluff about to be thrown your way my dude

Tsukishima Kei has never pegged himself as the romantic type. Yamaguchi can confirm. The blond has never read any of those romance novels during his leisure time, he never pays attention to the dramas his mother watches on TV, and he's never thought twice about dating someone.

He's never fallen in love with someone. He thought it was dumb to fall in love, Romeo and Juliet being a good contender as to why love is such a complicating yet stupid thing. He believes that loving someone romantically is a bother, that's why he's never looked at anyone that way. He's merely protecting himself from getting hurt from love because everything that's said in those romance novels are exaggerated, he tells himself.

Tsukishima was content with everything he had as of now. He's okay with focusing on self-improvement, he doesn't need to value or think of other things.

That is until you showed up.

You're a first year manager, alongside Yachi, of the Karasuno Boy's Volleyball Team and Tsukishima immediately deems you as another person to avoid because the first person you got along with was Hinata. Just like with everyone else, he doesn't interact with you that much, and only says what's necessary when he has to talk to you.

Unfortunately for him, he finds out that you're classmates.

Tsukishima doesn't memorize everyone's names in his class, he doesn't feel the need to do that ever. Once classes end, he's immediately off to practice with Yamaguchi, that is unless he's assigned for cleaning time, so he doesn't even remember you right off the bat.

During English class, the teacher picks you to read a passage from the story that you were analyzing. Being fluent in the English language, this didn't bother you at all. So you stand up and begin reading. Everyone's eyes are on you. They've never heard you speak English before, so they're all definitely surprised, especially a certain tall blond a few seats away from you.

'She's eloquent...', he thinks. Of course, that's what anyone would think if they heard you speaking right now. He's staring at you, and he only realizes when he hears the teacher commend you on your English. He's trying to focus on the lesson, but his mind keep coming back to you and your voice. It's lovely, and soothing in a way. He feels his cheeks heat up a little from thinking about you too much. He finally calms down and focuses back on the passage.

As classes end, the blond sees Yamaguchi begging something from you. As he gets closer, he learns that the other boy is asking for English lessons from you. Yamaguchi notices the taller boy and give him a quick greeting before giving his undivided attention back to you.

"Yamaguchi-kun, are you sure you want me to teach you English?"

"Of course, [Y/N]! There's no one else I know who's as insanely good in English as you are!"

"Well, alright. I guess I can teach you English."

"Teach me as well." Tsukishima finally speaks. Almost in sync, Yamaguchi and you whip your head towards the tall boy's direction. You're just as surprised as Yamaguchi is from Tsukishima's sudden and very surprising request. Tsukishima, of all people, is asking for help. He must be having that much trouble in English to ask someone else to help him.

You're the first to break the uncomfortable silence and you agree to teaching the both of them the subject, Tsukishima is forever thankful for you taking the initiative in changing the awkward atmosphere between the three of you.

Over the course of a few weeks, he's warmed up to you. He talks to you a lot more now, and very rarely he actually engages in the conversation first, but those were usually about homework. Thanks to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, you've developed a good amount of confidence in your skills as well. You're much more social than you were before, though that's because of Hinata's influence on you, and you participate in a lot of the class activities, be it extra curricular or just favors from your classmates.

Tsukishima always thought you'd eventually forget about him and Yamaguchi, so he stopped himself from getting too attached to you, but to his surprise, you never said no to Yamaguchi whenever he asked to hang out. Sure, you've made a lot more friends now, and you've gained some popularity as well, but you never strayed too far away from the first friends you've ever made.

Not only are you smart, but you're also incredibly kind and selfless, traits Tsukishima never understood. You'd almost immediately, and sometimes literally, drop whatever you were doing and go and help them with whatever they need assistance with, even if it's a little request like taking the trash out to the garbage bins behind the school. You basically thrived off of helping out, and Tsukishima is beyond intrigued by you.

You see, Tsukishima has never seem himself as selfless. He only does things that benefits him. He'll only agree if something is of use to him. To put it in other words, he's selfish. He's never done things to help others, he'll only do so if necessary, such as group projects. He's never the type to consider actually helping someone out because he just felt like it. If it benefits him, he'll do it, if it doesn't, he won't. Simple as that.

Before Tsukishima's even realized it, he's staring at you as you talk to a classmate of yours. Unfortunately, Yamaguchi notices the boy's lovestruck state and decides to initiate a conversation with him. "Tsukki, you've been staring at [Y/N] a lot," He says, catching the taller boy's attention. Tsukishima's eyes dilate in his sudden approach, his cheeks having a tint of pink, and he glares at his friend.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Sorry, Tsukki, but I'm just surprised how she hasn't noticed just how much you stare at her."

"... Is it really that obvious?"

"To me, it is. To her, it isn't."

Tsukishima groans internally. He didn't even notice that he was staring for so long until Yamaguchi brought it up. No, he will not admit that he was admiring you. Never. He'll get over this, right? This is just a one time thing... right?

Wrong.

He wants to get closer to you now. He wants to interact with you every day. He wishes he sat near you so he could ask for a pencil just so he'd have an excuse to talk to you. He hoped that his heart would stop beating faster whenever you looked at him and smiled. He hoped that his cheeks would stop growing pink whenever you laughed at a corny joke Hinata made. He hoped that his legs wouldn't get wobbly whenever he hears the mere sound of your voice. He hoped things would just go back to normal. But just hoping wouldn't work.

Tsukishima Kei has undoubtedly fallen in love with you.

And he's realized that when he overheard a conversation between you and a male classmate;

"Hey [Y/N]."

You stop erasing on the chalkboard and turn to face him properly. You dust off the chalk dust on your skirt and blouse and reply, "What's up?"

"I was wondering... Could we, you know, meet- uh, meet behind the school later? Before your club activities, of course..." He was clearly blushing, everyone could see that, he was fidgety, and he stuttered a bunch of times. Anyone could already tell where that was going. Except you.

"Oh, of course!" You smile innocently at him, as he smiles back widely. He goes back to his group of friends with a very victorious look you were unable to see. As you turn around, you are met with a pair of familiar pair of eyes, staring you down as if you did something unbelievable.

"[Y/N], what was that about?"

"I don't know, he probably needed help with something. Maybe homework. But he could've just asked me right here, it's not like I would judge him for asking for help. Maybe he's just shy, who knows?"

Yamaguchi face palms at your response, you're even more confused. The green haired boy looks at you in disbelief, and sighs in frustration, "You know what, I'll leave that to you to find out."

Yamaguchi did say he'll leave it to you to find out, but he needed to know how things would turn out. So he dragged Tsukishima along with him, who silently agrees to following you behind the school, despite you telling them that Daichi or Coach Ukai might get mad at them for being late. Yamaguchi, bless his soul, told the two of you that he would take responsibility and would take any punishment that went along with it.

The two boys hid behind the corner of the building, listening closely to your conversation with your classmate.

"Nakamura-kun, why'd you ask to meet me here?" You ask him, clearly not understanding the atmosphere that was around the both of you. Anyone who would catch you there would understand what was happening, but unfortunately, you just couldn't predict what was going to happen.

He stood there for quite a bit, fidgeting, and avoiding eye contact with you. His face seemed all red and you began to worry if he was getting feverish from all this. You take a step forward and he immediately freezes up from you getting close to him.

"Nakamura-kun."

"Y-Yes?!"

"Are you feeling ill? You look red. Maybe you should go to the clinic."

He shakes his head repetitively, saying he wasn't ill and that he really had something to tell you. You nod and wait for him to say it, as you didn't want to make him uncomfortable enough than he already was.

"I... I really like you, [Y/N]!"

"Oh? I like you too, Nakamura-kun."

Yamaguchi face palms. Tsukishima stifles a laugh.

"Really? Then, will you go out with me?"

"Go out? Right now? But I still have club activities." You tilt your head in confusion as he fumbles to find the right words.

"No! Not right now! Maybe on Saturday! Yeah, does that sound good?"

"Oh, perfect, I'm free that day. So which subject are you having trouble on? If it's Math, I can't really help you with that."

Yamaguchi is currently trying to stop Tsukishima and himself from laughing out loud.

"What?" He looks at you, his life draining out of him.

"We're talking about homework, right? Oh! Did I get it wrong? Did you need help with another thing?"

"[Y/N], no. I meant... I meant like go out on a date! Like a romantic date!"

You squint your eyes at him as you process the words in your head. One by one, the cogs in your slow brain finally start moving, and you finally get what he's trying to say.

"Oh, like those dates you see in the movies? I'm sorry, Nakamura-kun, I'm just not the person you should be liking, there are a lot more girls there that will surely make you happy. I'll just make you frustrated, I'm sorry. I really am." You bowed at him politely but he assures you that he doesn't need you to apologize, he just wanted a proper answer from you.

Hearing you say that made Tsukishima's heart drop. You were already aware that you'd make people frustrated with you, and he didn't want you to think that way. He felt a strong desire to change that, but you guys were just friends, he doesn't have a right to change anything about you, he doesn't even have the chance to.

You turn around to see Yamaguchi snickering like a kid and Tsukishima just looking at him with his signature annoyed look. You laugh and them and begin dragging them to the gym, where you were met with an annoyed coach, a concerned Daichi, and very curious players.

Despite having rejected that boy, there were still other people from other classes who tried to woo you with their pick-up lines, but you never really got them, so you just laughed and nodded in hopes of them not getting hurt by you not being able to comprehend any deeper meaning to what they say.

"Does your hand feel heavy, [Y/N]-san?"

"No? I don't think it's possible for a hand to feel heavy?"

"Nevermind."

You tried your best to understand, you really did. You just wanted to keep up with their pick-up lines, but you just couldn't do it. You've never had that kind of experience, so it was hard to understand what they were trying to say.

But without realizing it yourself, you were also beginning to get interested in a certain tall blond classmate. You quickly dismissed these reactions as something everyone can experience, you weren't the only one, of course. Everyone feels this way around Tsukishima. Right? Right?

"[Y/N], I can very much confirm that not everyone feels that way towards Tsukki."

Oh.

"So, your legs don't get wobbly and your heart doesn't beat faster around Tsukishima?"

Yamaguchi laughs and you feel yourself feeling embarrassed as he does so. You give him a light punch on his arm, since you can't reach his head, and cross your arms, a pout present on your face.

"[Y/N], I'm not in love with Tsukki."

In love? Is that what it is?

"I can't be in love. I don't even understand what love is enough to actually feel it." You say, trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince Yamaguchi, who only shrugs at your response.

"If you say so, [Y/N]."

The next few days were weird.

For some godforsaken reason, Yamaguchi had convinced Tsukishima to at least flirt with you a little bit, having learned that the blond was hopelessly in love with you, even though the taller blond told the other that you'll have the same reaction as you did with those other guys that tried to do a pick-up line on you.

The first time he tried to flirt, which was a pick-up line about a highlighter and brightening up his world, it turned into you telling him a story about how you accidentally drank water with highlighter ink thinking it was some kind of juice. He was actually immersed in the story sometimes, teasing you about how you couldn't recognize the color of the highlighter.

The second time he tried to flirt, where Yamaguchi would "accidentally" shove you into Tsukishima, he pushed you too hard and ended with you sitting on top of a very uncomfortable and potentially hurt blond.

The third time he tried to flirt, where he intended on staying close to you a lot, like sitting next to you during study sessions, walking next to you during the walk to the gym, just staying close to you in general, you didn't at all notice because you just thought it was normal for friends to do that, all the while trying to ignore your loudly beating heart.

The fourth and final time he flirted with you, was when you finally confessed to him.

Tsukishima is an observant person, so he's probably noticed your mannerisms around him by now. How your tone of voice changes when you talk to him, and how easilt flustered you get when you talk to him. He thought he had a chance, and he was right.

"I don't really like talking about feelings that much but Yamaguchi told me to tell you everything that I'm feeling. So, here goes nothing, I guess."

You take a deep breath and you suddenly feel as if the ground was shaking. You're terrified, but you have to do this. You've already committed to this. There's no turning back.

"Tsukishima, whenever I look at you, I feel really happy. Your voice makes me feel like I'm on the comfiest pillow in the world. Whenever you do that really cute smirk when you tease Hinata or Kageyama, it makes me laugh a lot. You're weird."

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up, I'm not done yet."

You inhale once more.

"You're really mean to Hinata and Kageyama, and you're also unintentionally mean to a lot of our classmates, but I like that about you. Whenever you offer to help me with Math, I kind of feel sad because I'm supposed to be the one doing all the helping!"

"You don't always have to help-"

"Let me finish! You're actually really nice, you know? I saw you playing with a stray cat the other day and giving it food and it made my heart do flips! You looked really cute. I don't know how to express myself properly, and when I try to, it's word vomit. I want to learn and try to be better for you, I want to know what to do with this slow brain of mine, and I really really want to do all those romantic stuff with you."

You're in the verge of crying, but you quickly wipe away any evidence of you crying.

"I... I think I like you, Tsukishima."

He doesn't say anything and you feel embarrassment creeping up behind you. The air is suffocating and you want to run away, but you legs are stuck to the ground. You feel ashamed in the other's presence, wanting to dig a grave and rot in it.

Then, you feel big arms wrap around your smaller frame, pulling you close to his chest, as he buries his face on your shoulder. He only hugged you for a while, as he isn't that type to prolong skinship.

You clear your throat and break the short silence between the two of you, "I've been meaning to ask. Did you flirt with me earlier?"

"Have been for the past week, but thanks for noticing." He replies almost immediately as you just stand there in shock.

"Oh."

"You're unbearable, [Y/N]."

You look up at him and laugh, punching his chest lightly.

"But you love me."

"Yes, yes I do."

this is my first haikyuu character x reader ficlet so i hope you at least like it a little bit hahahah

#tsukishima kei #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader ficlet #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #tsukishima fanfic #tsukishima fic #saltyshima #haikyu!#haikyuu tsukishima

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hush-ricky-blog · 6 years

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Rant

For a while I’ve been running into some interesting posts about Rick, and I say interesting, because some of these arguments about how overall awful Rick Grimes is, come from a section of the fandom that praise and excuse every questionable action if it’s done by a certain redneck and/or grey haired queen.

According to this special kind of Rick haters, there’re specific moments when Rick was especially selfish, manipulative, a terrible leader, a plain asshole, and so on.

Some even like to compare him to Ed and Merle…Yep.

I’ve collected some of my favorite arguments that I’ve read or heard from these haters about why Rick is the absolute worst, and tried my best to understand their reasoning. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

*Warning for heavy use of sarcasm and some strong language*

Merle. Everyone remembers the oldest Dixon and his peculiar personality. And we all remember how he and his brother got separated in Atlanta. Yes. It was all Rick’s fault, because, Merle being (probably) high and dangerous, pointing a loaded gun at people in the group, brutalizing them and yelling them racist and sexist insults is definitely Rick’s fault. Rick! You were supposed to let that one pass and just hope nobody got killed instead of handcuffing Merle! How dare you, Rick Grimes? Don’t you know whose brother Merle is and how upset he is going to be when he finds out?

Rick’s assholeness is so strong, it’s even able to make T-Dog trip and drop the handcuff’s key down the drain without him needing to be present. What a dick! It’s not like he went back to Atlanta with Daryl to get Merle out of his dire situation. What a selfish prick! You only went back for the guns, didn’t you? Don’t you know Merle is a good fella by association and totally worth risking your life? He’s Daryl Dixon’s older brother. For that alone, he’s better than you!

Another one of Rick’s most dickhead moments was when he completely dropped the search for Sophia for a few days. I know, what a selfish coward! Rick, it was only your son in the brink of death. You’re the leader. Carol counts on you to find her daughter that not only did you lose somehow, but abandoned too because you were supposed to be an expert walker killer by then. Drop the selfish, fatherly worry, leave your son to die, and go look for that girl who shouldn’t even be your responsibility in the first place!

Oh, and there’s more. Rick turned into a grade ‘A’ asshole at the end of season 2, didn’t he? A dictator. Dictator of a group of people who can up and leave whenever they feel like it…Something I don’t understand is, if no one HAS to follow Rick, why would they continue to do so? To follow such a terrible, selfish, coward, dicktator when no one’s forcing them to? Why subject themselves to live under such an oppressive regime, I wonder? Could it be because if they leave they’d have to be responsible for themselves and they’re just not up for that? I mean, it’s easy. Rick’s responsible for everyone’s actions. Everything ends up being his fault somehow. He’s even responsible for the kids of the group like they were his own. He’s the leader; therefore, it’s his fault Sophia got chased into the woods by a walker. But why would Carol continue to stick around the man that got her daughter killed when she could’ve perfectly gone off into the night in search of that man of honor she so desperately craved for, and send Rick a post card with a picture of…Daryl, probably, since he’s the only honorable man around? Doesn’t matter that said “honorable” man yelled at her in her face, called her a stupid bitch (Daryl sure has a lovely way of talking to women), called her pathetic, blamed her for her daughter’s death (Even though I deeply dislike him, I have to say, I’m with him on this one. Unlike Carol, at least Rick tried to help her. He didn’t just stand there and watch as a flesh eating monster chased her into the woods, letting Lori of all people hold him back) and pointed out to her just how alone and hopeless she was. But that’s okay, because Daryl is allowed to act like a tremendous dick when he’s upset. Let him vent! He’d just lost that little girl that he…uh…well…They occupied the same space for a while, okay? So he was in every right to feel as upset as he needed to, making everything about himself, throwing all his anger on that little girl’s mother who’s duty was to put her grief on hold to comfort that grown ass man, even putting her face up in case he’s feeling in need to punch something. He sure looked like he wanted to.

Nah, but Rick’s still the worst.

And there’s more. Rick’s selfishness reared its ugly head once again when they rescued Maggie and Glenn from Woodbury and he dared, he DARED to tell Daryl he needed him. What a manipulative asshole that Rick is! To use such a delicate situation to take advantage of Daryl’s loyalty and manipulate him into helping him? What a selfish prick! It’s not like it was dark as hell and they were being shot at from left and right, or that Glenn could hardly walk after being tortured by Daryl’s own brother. These are Daryl’s feelings we’re talking about. He was upset and to hell with everything else if Daryl’s upset! Everybody, stop the world and coddle that huge man-child! How dare Rick be so selfish and ask him to wait at least until they got Glenn and Maggie safe back to the prison after they were harassed, tortured and almost executed, to talk to Merle, AKA the causer of such atrocities toward the young couple? How dare you, Rick Grimes? Don’t you know Daryl wants to talk to his torturer of a brother after he lost him because of you?

Good thing Daryl didn’t give in to Rick’s manipulative ways and got what he wanted. He split from the group anyway and of course, got himself caught. So it was up to Rick to risk his selfish ass once more and go back to Woodbury with —still traumatized after Merle took her to the Governor who sexually harassed her— Maggie, to save Daryl and his torturer brother from having to kill each other. How more selfish can Rick get? Can’t he stop thinking about his own gain for two minutes?

The worst of Rick’s selfishness and dickness comes right after, though, when he DOESN’T, I repeat, he DOESN’T immediately jump to welcome Merle to the prison to live with Maggie and Glenn after he tortured Glenn, brought Maggie to the governor to be harassed, tied Glenn to a chair and threw a walker at him, and almost executed them both. How dare Rick have doubts about letting torturer, racist Merle into their home and become part of their family? How dare he make Pookie upset? So much selfishness going on around, it’s unbelievable!

But good thing Daryl didn’t give a shit about those selfish assholes and came back to the prison with his torturer of a brother in tow. He even saved selfish Rick’s ass in the process. That lousy leader surely owes him his life. And good thing Daryl saw to his own interest for once (‘cuz he’s so selfless, oh yes) and FORCED Glenn to just be okay with the man who kidnapped him and Maggie for absolutely no reason and brought them to the hands of a maniac, living with them from then on:

“Don’t be selfish, Glenn! Yer not s’pposed to make me upset. I’m Derle. Ma feelings come first. And Rick was a total dick for not putting down the welcome mat for my torturer brother Merle! Don’t he know he’s supposed to give me what I want? Besides, Merle ain’t a rapist. He’s just a torturer, sexist and violent racist like myself. Oh, yeah. I tortured a kid, too. Totally Rick’s fault, though. He made me do it…”

Really? Season 2 Rick Grimes, who at the time of the farm couldn’t even leave Randall to die in that fence, told the man who just happened to have a brother who liked to torture innocent people for fun, to torture him? Suuuuuuure.

“…We like to call women names, me an’ ma brother: like stupid/dumb bitches, whores and ugly skanks (Hey, that one was dead, so it don’t count!). We yell at them all we want. Heck, I even come off as shy to the fangirls even when I’ve rudely yelled my piece of mind on people’s faces for half the series. It’s all part of our Dixon charm. Like my jokes toward Glenn. No harm feelings. It’s all in good fun. He still thinks I’m one of the good things in this world (LMFAO. What a forced fucking line, my God!), even when I’ve been racist toward him, put ma brother’s hand in his backpack even if it grossed him out, forced him to live with his torturer, got him killed, leaving his pregnant wife a widow, then went to Hilltop for absolutely no reason other than to force ma’ presence on her and putting her life and her baby’s life in danger by solely showing up there when the saviors were after my ugly ass self— not giving a crap how much it clearly hurt Maggie having me around— till she forgave me. To hell with Maggie’s pain. I’m Derle and ma feelings come first. Maggie had to make me feel good about myself and absolve me of any guilt. Wasn’t ma fault, anyway. I’m Daryl and I had to punch Negan ‘cuz I was pissed. Dwight stole ma’ vest, ma’ bike and ma’ crossbow and killed my best friend in the world, Denise. I had to avenge those very important things to me, along with my bruised pride. Don’t matter I’m pushing fifty and should have at least some control of my actions by now. And while we’re at it, I’mma pretend like it wasn’t my idea to kill the saviors in the compound in exchange for food from The Hilltop. All the blame will fall on Rick’s shoulders, anyway. Don’t matter it wasn’t his idea. Don’t matter it wasn’t his, but my fist connecting with Negan’s jaw. I can act as reckless as I want without repercussions ‘cuz I can do no wrong. I can get a teenage girl drunk on moonshine, get drunk myself (and very violent) and whip my dick out with her in the room (Hey, I turned around!), pee in front of her, yell at her, make her feel bad for having a good childhood, manhandle her outta the shag to teach her to use ma’ crossbow while pressing my body up against her back. (No, it ain’t inappropriate! I’m Derle and I’m always innocent) I can yell at her, mock her pain and suicide attempt after she saw her dead mother walking out of that barn, and label it as just a call for attention! Mock her way of coping with her dad’s death, comparing her with a dumb college bitch. I can tell her all the people she cares about are dead, that she ain’t ever gonna see her sister again and there ain’t hope left. But it’s totally fine ‘cuz I was upset! I’d just seen Hershel’s head being sliced off the rest of his body and I needed to lash out at his teenage daughter (who saw the whole thing too, by the way), ‘cuz when I’m upset, don’t matter who’s with me or how old they are or who they’ve just lost, they gotta think of ma’ feelings first and comfort ME! But all is good, cuz don’t matter how gross I act, all I gotta do is flex ma’ biceps, ride ma’ brother’s neo-Nazi bike (yeah, I know that shit stayed at the prison, but he’d still be riding that shit if it hadn’t) and blow shit up to have fangirls drooling over me and praising or excusing all the gross shit I do.”

Seriously, how does he get away with all of this? Had Rick done half this shit, you haters would, to this day, still be calling him a violent sexist, racist torturer and you know it!

Anyway, let’s move on.

Another one of my favorite arguments to why Rick sucks so bad is when some of you Rick haters gave him shit when he took some time for himself and his son during season 4A. Like he wasn’t busting his back under the Georgia sun, from sunrise to sundown, to put food on their plates. But who gives a shit about fresh vegetables when Daryl can go out, shoot a couple arrows and have some real food on their plates instead? Everybody pat Daryl in the back and shake his recently licked hand (gross) because he’s the real hero and Rick is just being selfish and useless again. “What do you mean Rick’s growing food? He’s not bringing in as much meat as Daryl Dixon, so it doesn’t count!”

Honestly, I never got why Carol gave him shit for stepping away from leadership (and killing for the group), after she gave him shit for being a bad leader. She wants him to lead; she doesn’t want him to lead? I don’t get it. I mean, they had Sasha, Glenn, Hershel, Daryl and herself to lead the group during Rick’s break. Why did she need Rick for? To look for the Governor and kill him? Well, he’s Rick and everything is his responsibility, right? It’s not like Daryl had THE biggest reason to kill him. The Governor only killed his brother after all.

But seriously, what was her deal with Rick? Whatever it was, if Rick was doing it, it wasn’t good enough. Was she taking on her late friend Lori who never seemed satisfied with anything Rick did or say, maybe? Oh, right. Rick was abusing Lori by not talking to her during the prison, so he deserves it. That’s why Carol gave Rick her abusive husband’s watch, because she saw and abusive man in Rick (or what I like to call: “The reach of the century”). So it’s like she was telling him: “Here, keep this watch, you abusive bastard. It suits you. It belonged to another abusive bastard.” Seriously? After everything Rick went through with Lori— and by everything I mean, Lori picking up one-sided fights with Rick before the apocalypse just to get a reaction she knew she wasn’t gonna get from him (Lori, you should’ve gone to Daryl if you wanted a man to yell in your face and call you a bitch…Oh wait. He did. Or was it Rick he called a bitch that one time?), getting pissed off at Rick for being quiet, calm, and reasonable, telling him to speak about his feelings then acting impatient like she didn’t want to hear him after all when he tried, telling him she doubted his love for her and Carl in front of Carl, followed by Lori abandoning him in that hospital, not even bothering to check for her own damn self if her husband was alive (well, I guess we can’t really blame her for that. Why would she risk her life for someone she wasn’t sure she even loved anymore?), and just a couple weeks later, she was playfully having sex in the woods with Rick’s best friend like they’d been at it for a while; then, when said friend turned dangerous, she insinuated to Rick, in not too subtle terms, that he had to kill Shane to protect her and Carl, and when Rick did just that, not only to protect them, but himself as well (Yes, Shane took Rick to that clearing to kill him, even if some of you like to brush over that fact just so you can compare it to Carol killing Karen and David. Seriously, you would defend Shane over Rick even when he tried to rape Lori, just so you can frame Rick as the bad villain that exiled poor, innocent Carol… *smh*), she pushed him away — After all that treatment Rick got from Lori, which reeks of psychological/emotional abuse for it left Rick feeling insecure and like everything he did or say was the wrong thing in her eyes, he was supposed to pretend like nothing had happened and things between them were fine and dandy? He was already giving her his share of food and keeping her and Shane’s baby alive. Wasn’t that enough?

Nope. I guess it wasn’t. Rick was totally being abusive....But yelling in someone’s face that they got their child killed because they minded other people’s business instead of keeping an eye on them and telling them just how alone they are while calling them a stupid bitch isn’t abusive? Suuure.

Huh. Interesting how Daryl blaming Carol for her daughter’s death parallels so perfectly Negan blaming Rick for Carl’s…Interesting.

But I’ll give it you. Rick WAS a dick when he exiled Carol. Yes. And he should’ve left the decision to the Council instead of making it himself— although I do understand why he might’ve wanted to make sure Carol was away from his kids when, had they been the ones sick, there was a high chance she could’ve killed them if it was for the benefit of the whole group— but don’t tell me those were mercy killings on Carol’s part, because all I saw was Karen walking into that room with just a cough, then next thing I know— and judging by how awfully smitten Tyreese was with Karen, he probably was gone the time it took him fetching those flowers—she’s turned into a pile of ashes. Glenn survived. Sasha survived. Lizzie survived. There’s no guarantee that Karen and David would’ve died. Both Rick and Carol fucked up. Both did things they shouldn’t have done and made decisions that weren’t theirs to make, but only one of those ended with two innocents dead.

But who cares about that? Rick’s still a coward for not immediately telling Daryl that he exiled Carol when he got back from that run. Wait...so Carol didn’t just stand there watching as Tyreese and Rick beat the shit out of each other and kept her mouth shut about killing Karen? Oh, I believe she did.

Also, Rick exiled Carol, yes, and that makes him the worst and blah, blah, blah, but Daryl didn’t seem as upset with Rick as he should’ve, considering Rick pretty much sent the love of his life to an almost certain death. Hell, he even seemed more upset about losing Rick when he was yelling at Beth. He almost teared up at saying his name. And this is why I often wonder, how is it that to this day, Rick is still getting shit for that, even after he accepted he made a mistake and apologized to Carol, but Daryl, expert tracker he is, was instantly forgiven for not even making the slightest attempt at trying to find Carol??? Oh, right. Daryl was huuuuurting during that time, so he gets a pass on that. He always gets a pass on everything.

Let’s continue, though.

I’ve read more than once the argument saying that “Rick is a narcissist who thinks he’s better than everyone and no one else can handle things like he can, and he’s a jerk to people for the same reason,” from some of you, and it just baffles me. Didn’t Carol treat the Alexandrians like little kids (except for Sam, who probably would’ve preferred the kiddie treatment), and didn’t she totally patronize everyone at the Kingdom and was unnecessarily harsh on everyone, calling the place and everybody living there a joke? Didn’t she also act like a total jerk to Jerry, the most adorable person on the apocalyptic world, after he made her a pie? And didn’t Derle act all high and moral, in other words, a total dick toward Bob, an alcoholic, because he had a bottle of liquor in his pack instead of medicine after he was more than helpful in their search for medicine then prepared the shots that saved Sasha, Glenn and Lizzie? And wasn’t he a gratuitous jerk toward Denise more than once, making fun of her anxious gestures, while she was talking to him? They did. They fucking did. They are BOTH guilty of the exact same thing you blame Rick for…But oh, no! God FORBID Rick Grimes from being a jerk toward Gabriel, who tried to get them all kicked out of Alexandria.

So if Rick is harsh on people, he’s a narcissistic dick, but Carol is queen and totally in her right because damn! Those overly nice kingdomers and their overbearing hospitality won’t leave her in peace! And Daryl is…the absolute hero? Did I get it right?

Oh, but there’s the Andrea, Tyreese, Michonne, Glenn, and OBG thing at the prison. I mean, Rick handled Andrea pretty roughly when she showed up at the prison, and he nudged Michonne’s bullet wound and was overall awful toward her, and he choke-held Glenn against the wall. I know, right? What a tremendous dick!…Except, Rick was hardcore hallucinating during that time. He was having actual conversations over the phone with Lori, Shane, Jacquie, etc. He saw Lori several times, and Shane too. His mind was in complete wreck. He was going through a psychotic episode, so bad, he’d had to be medicated, and possibly, temporarily put away into a mental health facility had the world been what it used to. He was NOT in control of his actions. But somehow, he was on his own, armed, wandering the portions of the prison that were infested with walkers, going outside the fences in search for his wife’s ghost, putting himself in danger over and over again, and aside from Glenn and Hershel who tried to talk to him once or twice, no one else even bothered to help him, or at least, prevent him from endangering his life or the life of others. They all just let him fend for himself.

But putting blame aside, shouldn’t Rick’s temporary mental illness excuse him from his deplorable actions during that time (which lasted till the end of season 3) or that only works with that unwashed man-child?

And since Rick had to pull himself out of that mental breakdown on his own, his self control was still pretty weak when he beat up Tyreese into unconsciousness. Even then, he still tried to keep himself together and reason with Tyreese, but I guess his still frail mind just lost it after those two brutal, and very much unprovoked, punches.

But wait…do you even remember Tyreese? He’s the one who totally didn’t get Judith out of the prison. It was all Carol who saved that ungrateful bastard’s daughter, even when he got hers killed, because that’s how selfless and forgiving Carol is. And she singlehandedly saved Rick’s ungrateful ass out of Terminus, right after he sent her to her death. She is so the queen of the universe!

…Please.

Carol created the diversion and killed some snipers, yes, no one argues that, but if Rick hadn’t gotten loose and killed those two butchers, they would’ve still gotten slaughtered, your precious Daryl included, and we wouldn’t have had the absolute best reunion in the history of the walking dead. Forget about Rick finding his son. That Caryl hug is the real deal! *wink*

Now we’re on the shipping subject, remember when some of you gave Rick and Michonne shit for being selfish in bed right after Denise got killed? What a couple of selfish asses! They’re so meant to be!

Well…at least when Rick and Michonne are being selfish, they either stay within earshot in case shit hits the fan and they’re needed by their people, or they do it while ALSO gathering supplies for their community; the community they’ll come back to no matter what. Unlike Derle’s unreliable ass who fucks off every five minutes for some personal revenge, or Carol who downright abandoned them (also, right after Denise was killed), knowing there was a war coming and knowing she’d be needed to go all Rambo -armed with machine guns up her sleeves- on the saviors, but unwilling to kill for them anymore.

“Good luck fuckers! It’s time for some me time.”

But Carol and Daryl are totally not selfish, though. Rick is the only selfish one around. Sure.

Hey, I’m not blaming Carol. Good on her. She deserved her time off from killing for them. Hey! Just like Rick in season 4— No wait, Rick didn’t deserve shit, because he never killed for them, and he totally hadn’t carried the weight of leadership all the way from the farm since no one else wanted to burden themselves with it.

What am I saying? Rick LOVES to be the leader. He gets off on the power it gives him. Even though he’s said MORE THAN ONCE that he didn’t ask to be in that position and basically, didn’t want to be in it. Even though he seemed perfectly happy at the prison with planting veggies, setting up snares in the woods, feeding the animals, and raising his kids as his main obligations; even though he told Maggie he’ll follow her lead once the war’s over. Even though he told Michonne he’d be up to lead the new world after the war, but ONLY if she’s by his side leading with him (Oh, in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, this conversation took place in 7x12, that Richonne episode a lot of you sabotaged by not watching). If he were in fact thirsty for power, like some of you like to claim, why on earth doesn’t he take full advantage of it and enjoys the privileges that come with it like Negan does? Why doesn’t he have the first claim on every supply they find and keep the best for himself? Why doesn’t he sit in a throne and have people call him King? Why does he even bother to go out on supply runs anymore, risking his life, when he could snap his fingers and have ten of his people doing it for him? Why doesn’t he just send out orders left and right while he sits back on his rocking chair while sipping on margaritas?

Nah, but he still deserved Negan to humiliate that power thirst out of him.

And just in case you’re that special kind of Rick hater that says: “…But if it weren’t for Rick, none of the saviors mess would’ve happened!”

Excuse me; I must’ve missed the scene were Rick put up signs leading toward Alexandria, or the scene where he shot up a flair to let their position known to the saviors. If we’re gonna start handing out blame for their encounter with Negan, your precious Daryl had A TON more to do with the saviors mess than Rick ever did. He was the one with the brilliant idea to kill all the saviors in exchange for food (and a cow) from the Hilltop. He was the one (along with Abraham) that underestimated the saviors in the first place, forgetting to mention that tiny HUGE detail that he had the advantage of an RPG when he finished those bikers on the road in the blink of an eye. And he was the one that let Dwight get away, allowing him to later lead the saviors to Alexandria...But you’re right! I do blame Rick for that. I blame him for listening to Daryl’s dumb ass idea and trusting his gut when he clearly shouldn’t have!

And as for the whole Oceanside community argument... I know. What they did was awful in every way you look at it. But I find hilarious how the blame is put mostly on Rick’s shoulders. I must’ve missed the scene where Rick says, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna go in and rob those women of their guns, and you’re all gonna do it and like it.” And where is the scene where it’s stated that this was his idea at all? It’s more than likely that it could have been Tara’s…or even your precious Daryl’s idea? It was HIS idea to attack the saviors first, after all. It could’ve perfectly been his idea this time too. And even if it wasn’t and it was in fact Rick’s idea, Daryl was there as well, setting up explosives and taking those women hostages and stripping them off their guns like the rest of them. And unlike under Negan’s ruling, no one’s life (or that of their loved one’s) is at stake if they don’t follow Rick’s “orders.” They’re all free to either go with him or stay back if they don’t agree with his approach, or speak up if they don’t agree with his plans (though they probably should do it before said plan is being executed, Derle!). Everything they do as a group is on everyone who participates. They were ALL there. ALL of them who went there willingly are equally as guilty and horrible as Rick.

*whinny voice* “Oh, but Pookie’s still so good and pure…”

LMAO! No, he’s not.

And last but not least, the Jadis thing. *Sighs* I mean, this woman betrayed Rick and his family, shot him on the side, threw him down the wall and down the mountain of garbage, took him and Carl to Negan where Negan almost killed Carl, had one of his people beat up Michonne, made him fight a walker twice with no means to defend himself, stripped him down and took photos of him half naked for her own twisted pleasure, objectifying him and downright sexually harassing him, but he turns his back on her once…ONCE!...and you’re trying to paint Jadis as his poor little victim and Rick as the mean woman abandoner????

Wow…*snorts*

To be honest, I’m not all that surprised. Like I said before, some of you would defend Shane (who tried to rape Lori, let’s not forget) over Rick, to make Rick look as the bad guy… Again, SMDH.

Now, I’m not saying Rick’s never done inexcusable shit. Of course he has. Among other things the, at times, indiscriminate killing (that of which Carol AND Daryl are also guilty of), he punched Aaron without having a reason to and threatened to kill him, he killed police man Bob when he tried to run away, his overall behavior during 5B-6A, he considered giving Michonne up to the Governor. He backed out, yes. But still considered it and got Merle to —“Oh, that’s right! Daryl lost his brother for real this time because of this and Rick is the one to blame!”

Give. Me. A. Fucking. Break.

Merle already had the idea to ambush the Governor set in his mind way before Rick even told him anything about taking Michonne to him. He was going to do it anyway. It was HIS damn decision.

But good thing though, that good ol’ Daryl Dixon, redneck with a heart of gold (even though he was very into killing innocent workers from the sanctuary, rammed a truck into the Sanctuary and effectively killed a bunch while handing Eugene an escape plan in a silver platter which then led to the saviors attacking both Alexandria and The Kingdom…Good job, dumbass!), got to kick evil Rick Grimes’ ass this season and finally stood up to him for all those times he was a prick toward him…

LMFAO!!

Standing up to Rick for what, exactly? For taking him in as part of his family? For trusting him? For influencing him into becoming a better person?

Yes. You read that right. Rick had a major role in Daryl becoming a somewhat decent person. Remember when Daryl asked Rick if Glenn was worth risking his life back in season 1 after he got taken by The Vatos? We all know what Rick’s answer to that was, and that answer had a huge impact on Daryl’s future actions. If Daryl ever learned to care for other people, aside from his brother and himself, to the point of risking his life for them, that’s the moment that did it. Shocking, right? Selfish Rick Grimes taught golden boy Daryl Dixon how to be selfless? How about that? Hell, even Merle found his brother awfully changed after those months spent with his buddy officer friendly, and I’m thinking Merle knew what he was talking about since he knew Daryl all his life. And to quote Merle’s exact words to Daryl after he stopped him from robbing that family on the road:

“Is that something your sheriff Rick taught you?”

Yes, Merle. That’s exactly what Rick taught him. After all, before Rick came along, Daryl was just a racist, sexist, violent redneck waiting for the chance to rob a camp filled with innocent people, and children among them…wait, that sounds familiar. And Rick’s supposed to be the bad influence on Daryl? Ha! Yeah right! And if there’s ever been a Merle 2.0 in the show (what I’ve seen some of you like to call Rick), it’s Daryl himself. That’s exactly who he would be, had Rick not entered his life.

You can praise and excuse Daryl’s questionable behavior all you want, but try to make him look as if he’s better than Rick…and even…better than Ezekiel (excuse me for a moment while I have a laughing fit) out of some of yours desperate need for him to be with, also NOT better than Rick, Carol!?!? Not a freaking chance! That would require for him to start acting like the grown man he is, taking full responsibility of his actions (not just admitting guilt to get forgiveness after he gets people killed), and drop a whole lot of that innate selfishness, that of which Rick’s being widely accused of having, but Daryl himself has in spades. And maybe take a fucking shower without having to be threatened to be hosed down if he doesn’t. Gross!

Oh...one more thing. Some of you actually want to steal Judith from Rick and Michonne when they just lost Carl so Caryl can raise her? Are you freaking for real?!?!

#caryl #daryl dixon #carol peletier #jadis

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