#Joel in the game is harder somehow and a little bit less realistic of a character in my opinion even though he's entertaining to watch

[stromblessed]

They survived but survival isn't enough

Okay but the whole time Ellie is listening to Joel talk about Sarah and how Ellie and Sarah would've liked each other and Ellie's not even cracking a smile and it all leads up to her BURSTING with needing Joel to swear to her I just -

Ellie knows what Joel did. She knows that Joel is equating her with the daughter-shaped hole in his life. She knows he did something terrible at the hospital, she knows he did it for her, but she might suspect that he's projecting Sarah's ideal onto her - even though I really don't think he is, but the hollowness in Ellie's voice during that conversation just makes me UGH

Just WEEKS ago, Ellie probably would've loved to be Joel's daughter officially, and now it's true but it came at the wrong time and it all feels WRONG and it's partly Joel and his damage, partly David and what he did to Ellie's spirit, partly Ellie's abandonment issues, partly the loss of her innocence on the whole, but MAN

It hurts as a viewer to FEEL that fantasy almost come true, that Joel and Ellie could be a real family and live peacefully and happily together for the rest of their lives, you can feel how CLOSE they came, but it was never meant to be and even though Joel ensured their survival he also doomed that happiness to the realm of fantasy, and by god he will prop up that fantasy on wobbly stilts if he has to by telling a lie that they BOTH KNOW Ellie doesn't really believe oh GOD it hurts, seeing Joel that desperately happy right next to Ellie's palpable dread and suspicion was the most devastating thing I've seen on a screen in ages

#the last of us #tlou #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams #I am in a glass case of emotion I don't think the game hurt me quite this badly #Joel in the game is harder somehow and a little bit less realistic of a character in my opinion even though he's entertaining to watch #Pedro's Joel feels like a PERSON like the most BELOVED of villains holy JEEBUS #you can see him revert back to his Sarah-era in real time but Ellie can't come along with him she SIMPLY CAN'T #BUT HE WILL PRETEND THAT SHE CAN AND THAT THEY CAN DO IT TOGETHER OH GOD