#That monkey is me when Woodrow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forsetti · 7 years

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On Progressive Politics: Bad Teammates

Political ideas that have no real shot at being implemented are worthless. This doesn't mean grand, idealistic policies shouldn't be discussed and worked towards. What it does mean is they need to be treated for what they are-wishful things that need to be worked towards often one step, one inch at a time with the realization due to uncontrollable variables and circumstances, the ideal may never be attained. When I was much, much younger, I wanted to play professional basketball. It was my dream. It was my passion. I practiced 4-6 hours every single day, 365 days a year from the time I was twelve until I was nineteen. I turned out to be a pretty good basketball player. Unfortunately, there were thousands of others my age who were much better than me who got college scholarships. No matter how much I wanted it or how hard I worked, playing in the NBA wasn't a realistic dream. However, I was able to use this dream to make myself, a musically gifted, non-athletic kid, a pretty good basketball player who could hold my own with a lot of college players. As much as I wanted to play pro, let alone college ball, I am not disappointed that I didn't reach my goal because I know I got the absolute most out of my talents as was possible. I moved the bar as far forwards as was possible.

If I would have had the mindset of many progressives, I would have quit playing ball in middle school and/or would be bitching and moaning today about how I was denied my dream. It doesn't matter how unrealistic the dream. It doesn't matter the context or circumstances or limitations, if the ideal cannot be reached and reached RIGHT NOW, it is okay to give up, make bad choices, pout, whine... anything other than doing whatever you can to make the most out of the hand you've been dealt (yes I know I'm mixing basketball and poker metaphors.)

Progressivism is about striving towards ideals. The very definition of 'progress' is: forward or onward movement toward a destination. Notice the definition isn't: reaching a specific destination. It is moving forward, towards a desired destination. Sometimes political progress is quick and large but it is mostly slow and small. As long as progress is being made that is what really matters. Even when progress is set back, it is important to look at the big picture and not a single snapshot of a particular moment in time. Think about how many political setbacks happened before women got the right to vote, before the Civil Rights Act was passed, before the Obergefell versus Hodges decision granted gays the right to marry. If people gave up because things weren't progressing like they wanted or because of setbacks, none of these progressive causes would have happened.

Working towards and seeing the big picture is what real progressives do. They don't get too down after a setback and certainly don't give up. They don't abandon the process and apparatus that was responsible for past progress. They sure as fuck don't attack the people who have dedicated their lives, given their hearts, sometimes even given their blood for progress because whatever their dreams happen to haven't been reached. A true progressive honors those how fought the battles before them picks up the battle where it was left off and fights on regardless of the stage of the battle. They also aggressively defend ground already won through the sacrifices and hard work of others.

I cannot even begin to count the number of people I know who claim they are dyed-in-the-wool progressives who spent the last year violating every single quality it takes to be progressive. I witnessed them attack progressives like Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, John Lewis, Barack Obama... people who have spent a lot of time and energy fighting for progressive values. I listened to them go through mental and linguistic gymnastics that would make a Cirque du Soleil performer blush in order to rationalize their atrocious positions and strategies. I watched them be more than willing to allow decades of hard-earned progress on women's rights, gay rights, civil rights, voting rights, the environment... be cast aside because they felt progress wasn't happening fast enough and in the EXACT ways they wanted it. Context didn't matter. How government actually works didn't matter. History didn't matter. Nothing mattered to the bitchy progressives who didn't get the ponies they didn't do a damn thing to earn but demanded they get. The fruits of the participation trophy generation are rancid, poisonous, and unbelievably stupid. People whose total political effort is being a keyboard commando on social media are churning out ill-conceived and re-damn-fucking-diculous things they know nothing about to the point where the theory an infinite number of monkeys typing will replicate the works of Shakespeare has been disproved. They don't turn out Shakespeare. They turn out hot takes.

If you don't understand this, don't want to understand it or deny it, I really cannot consider you a progressive. At best, you are “progressive-lite.” You might talk the progressive talk but you aren't walking the progressive walk. Staying home during elections will NEVER FUCKING EVER move things forward. Voting for third-party candidates who have zero chance of winning and even if they did have no political clout will NEVER FUCKING EVER move things forwards. Every single person who believes not voting or voting third-party will lead to progress, let alone significant progress is either grossly misinformed, completely ignorant or arrogantly stubborn. What they aren't is progressive.

Making decisions based on the political system you WANT instead of the one that EXISTS is being a bad citizen and a horrible progressive. We don't have a parliamentary system where minority parties can have an influence on policies through aligning themselves with other parties. Like it or not, we have a bicameral system where two major parties exist and fight for elections and policies. WANTING this to not be the case will NEVER FUCKING EVER make it true. Teddy Fucking Roosevelt was one of the most popular presidents in our history but when he ran as a third-party candidate in 1912, all he did was divide the Republican vote and hand the election to Woodrow Wilson in a landslide. The only thing Ralph Nader and Jill Stein and their supporters every accomplished politically was to hand the presidency to George W. Bush and Donald Trump. The only thing so-called “progressives” ever accomplished was allowing a demographically limited party of conservatives take over the majority of state governorships, state legislatures, Congress, and the White House. This is where I stand up, sarcastically slow clap, and say, “Bra-fuckin-o.”

You don't vote for a candidate for the system you want but for the one that exists. To do otherwise is a sign of political ignorance and/or stunning selfishness. This doesn't mean your voice shouldn't be heard. There is a time and place for this-before and during the primaries. Primaries are when everyone gets a seat at the table to express their opinion about who they want to represent them and why. However, once the primaries are over and a candidate has been selected, your individual voice takes a backseat to the wants and needs of the whole. To be upset your preferred candidate didn't win the nomination is absolutely no reason to not vote or vote third-party. You know who will NEVER FUCKING EVER move the progressive bar forward? People you don't vote for and people who will never win and never have any power if they do. You know who will NEVER FUCKING EVER move the progressive bar forward? Conservatives who win elections because too many “progressives” are politically naive, ignorant or stubborn. Arguing against this, throwing temper tantrums about it, wishing it would be different will NEVER FUCKING EVER make it not true. What doing these will accomplish is keeping progress from happening and if done enough, will ensure past progress is lost.

This should be very easy to understand but the fact I have to constantly point it out to people who adamantly tell me they are “progressive,” is disheartening and tells me a lot about why we are in the current state we are in. Conservatives are not the only ones who can't pass basic civics. I expect conservatives to not give a damn about how government works because they believe the government is a bad idea except when it comes to having a military. I sure as hell expect people who believe the government is not only important but necessary for the betterment of its citizens to have a third-grade level grasp from how government works and elections occur to how laws are made.

Progressives keep telling me we need to be “united” against Trump and the Republican Party but many of the ones telling me this are the very same people whose direct actions are responsible for the situation we must all now “unite” in order to fight. We are in this position because they failed to be good progressives and they refuse to admit their ignorance and culpability. Instead, they are doubling down on their horrid political takes and strategies demanding the rest of us have to follow in order to have political success. Mind you these are people who haven't won a damn thing, wield no political power, have never shown any ability to win county drain commissioner but the entire Democratic Party must yield to their political “expertise.”

You know who did know how to win elections and hand conservatives their political asses? Barack Obama. With a working majority for less than a couple of months out of eight years, he was able to move the progressive bar forward a great deal. Every Democratic President since FDR tried to get major health care reform passed. They all failed. He expanded LGBT rights, environmental rights, consumer's rights... and progressives rewarded his efforts by pouting and sitting out the 2010 midterms which led to a GOP takeover of the U.S. House and many traditional blue state governments. It led to them doing the same in 2014, this time giving Republicans control of the U.S. Senate which ultimately ended up costing progressives a Supreme Court justice. Instead of following Obama's lead and heeding his pleas, too many progressives decided they know better how to win elections and get progress accomplished. So far, their record since 2010 is a whopping FUCK TON and zero. Yet, despite showing absolutely no ability to win county animal control officer, this group of progressives are adamant they know better than President Obama. It is unfuckingbelievable and insulting as hell. For all the excitement and energy many progressives exuded for Bernie Sanders, none of it has translated into any political wins. Not for Bernie. Not for Bernie supported candidates. Not for Bernie-aligned candidates. It's not like he is batting .500 or even .300. So far this wing of progressivism hasn't gotten a single hit. They are 0 for a lot. There are ball and towel boys in Single-A with better hitting stats. Anyone willing to step away from their emotional attachment to Bernie should be able to see that his “movement” isn't a political movement, it is a cult of personality. For whatever reasons, Bernie is able to attract a lot of attention and devotion. Personally, I have no idea how or why but I don't deny it happens. What is true is this devotion starts and ends with Bernie. Neither he or his supporters have been able to generate any meaningful energy and votes for anyone other than Bernie. That many progressives either don't or won't see this flaw is very troublesome to me. What is even more troublesome is these very same “progressives” are blaming the progressives who have devoted their lives, efforts, and blood to get the progress made the past fifty years for our current situation. Sorry, but the only response I will ever have to these people is, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” There should be one and only one goal right now for anyone claiming to be a progressive-MAKE SURE CONSERVATIVES DON'T WIN ANY ELECTIONS FROM HOMECOMING KING/QUEEN TO THE PRESIDENCY. ANYTHING less than this, ANYTHING that takes attention away from this, ANYTHING other than this should be completely ignored. ANYONE who claims differently should be viewed suspiciously, their progressive cred seriously questioned, and progressive ID confiscated until further notice. For most of my adult life, Republicans have done everything they can to make government not function properly. In many ways, they have succeeded. However, the real damage they've done isn't to the government itself but to attitudes about government. People are jaded and upset about how the government has failed them. They don't blame those responsible for fucking up the system. They blame everyone in the system. The media is guilty of helping Republicans create this image. When Republicans fail to do something that polls strongly, it is never portrayed as “Republicans failed to do_______.” It is always, “Congress failed to do_______.” This portrayal is mimicked by the public, including progressives, to the point where it becomes gospel and is the impetus for most of the “Democratic Party has abandoned___,” “Democrats have forgotten____” stupid fucking hot takes. If progressives want a better, more functional government, all they need to do is make sure conservatives are the minority. If they want a very functional government, they need to make sure progressives have very large majorities. In order to accomplish these things, progressives need to do the following: 1-Get out and vote in every election for the progressive who has the best chance of winning regardless of your personal feelings about the candidate(s). 2-Never allow conservatives the opportunity to undo progress already fought for and won. 3-Learn how government actually works. 4-Stop parroting right-wing talking points about anything but especially about fellow progressives. 5-Understand voting is a personal responsibility but with societal consequences (it isn't about you.) 6-Come to terms with the fact our entire system of government was intentionally built to prevent quick, massive changes in policies. 7-Learn how to place blame where it belongs. 8-Realize progress can't be judged by looking at a single moment in time but rather by seeing long-term trends. 9-Understand we have a bicameral system and the only way progress be achieved is through one of the two parties. 10-Stop placing purity tests on candidates, especially ones in districts, areas, states...whose elections won't impact you. 11-Remember the worst progressive is always preferable to the best conservative by a wide margin. 12-Quit using terms like “establishment,” “pragmatism,” and “cooperation” as pejoratives. 13-Realize fake news isn't just something conservatives fall prey to. 14-Stop claiming that addressing economic issues will resolve racial ones. 15-Be a true ally of those are members of your base, especially people who are most vulnerable to conservative policies. To me, this list is pretty self-explanatory, commonsensical, and easy to do. Because I view it this way, I am having a real difficult time dealing with people who claim to want and value the same things I do, who argue and fight against this especially when the stakes are so high and the damage done by allowing conservatives to have power so devastating to the very things they claim are important to them. I'm having a really hard time being lectured about politics and political strategy by people whose entire political experience is bitching about it on social media. I'm having a hard time listening to people with no sense of self-reflection bitch about consequences that came about because of their action/inaction. I'm having a hard time listening to people tell me they are progressive but seem willing and sometimes eager to allow past progress to be rolled back. I'm having a hard time watching the hard work of progressives past be cast aside so easily by conservatives while so-called progressives myopically demand their pet progress be immediately addressed. I am having a really difficult time listening to people who told me for months that using the undoing of The Affordable Care Act, the seating of a conservative Supreme Court Justice, the allowing of the Dakota pipeline, the unraveling of Dodd-Frank, the screwing of Dreamers... as reasons to oppose Trump and vote for Hillary, turn around and bitch nonstop as these easily preventable consequences are becoming realities. Maybe a bigger person can overlook this. I'm not that person. I'm fifty-six years old. My entire life has been dedicated to doing whatever I can to help this country live up to its ideals of justice and equality. In my lifetime, I've gone from watching Civil Rights activists beaten and firehosed to the election of the first black president. I've gone from it being illegal for whites to marry blacks to gay marriage being the law of the land. I've gone from women not being able to have their own credit card to earning the most votes, by 3 million, in a presidential election. As great as all these progressive things and more have been, they could easily have been more if progressives had an ounce of fucking common sense and political acumen. Come back full circle to basketball, being a progress is like being on a team with the best coach and the best players but too many of the players are prone to unforced turnovers and are more concerned with their personal stats than the team's accomplishments. I hated having this type of player on my team. I still do.

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josephstoontown · 7 years

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Happy Work-iversary!

A Joseph's ToonTown story.

Movin' right along with s'more day-to-day in ToonTown.

Word count: 7,526 – Character count: 43,572 Originally written: December 20th, 2016 Slightly revised: April 2nd, 2017 Further revised: August 30th, 2017

Woody and Joseph have been working at Joe's Diner for almost a year now and it seems to someone that some recognition is in order!

Woody Woodpecker, Wally Walrus, Winnie Woodpecker, The Woody Woodpecker Show, and related characters and properties created by and © Walter Lantz Productions Minerva Mink, Animaniacs, Lola Bunny, The Looney Tunes Show, and related characters and properties created by and © Warner Bros. Animation Spydor, Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys, and related characters and properties created by Monkeyshine Productions, Inc. and © Hallmark Entertainment Mona Lisa, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1986 series), and related characters and properties created by Fred Wolf Films/IDDH and © Mirage Studios Fawn Deer, Raw Toonage, and related characters and properties created by and © The Walt Disney Company (And, again, that's a lot of credits!)

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Wednesday… the middle of the work week. For some, it was a relief knowing that the weekend was drawing so close. For others, it was a reminder that the week wasn’t quite over. For Joseph, though? It was just another day of washing dishes at Joe’s Diner…

“You’d think after almost a year of working here, there’d be a place for me, on the main staff…” he thought to himself as he scrubbed a particularly stubborn plate. “But, no… ‘Budget’ this and ‘seniority’ that… blah-blah-blah… Thank the Trinity I have Woody to fall back on… I don’t think I could make it, on my own, with these part-time hours…” The fox gave a sigh as he looked up at a nearby clock. “Almost 4 PM… Good. Today’s been pretty damn awful…” He wasn’t wrong…

Although Joe’s Diner was fairly busy on most days, April 26th had somehow been almost overwhelming, for the staff. Between the visit from Japanese tourists looking for good food and photo ops, the usual lunch crowd, and the headache Joseph somehow forgot to tend to, he was more-than-ready to call it a day… However, his co-workers somehow didn’t seem to mind the extra business as much as he did.

“Boy, is Mr. Joe ever going to be happy to see the money we made, today!” said the seductive-yet-stern voice of Minerva Mink, the diner’s second shift manager-and-waitress. “I’ll say!” replied the second shift cook and Joseph’s friend, Woody Woodpecker, from the back. “Those tourists really put us over th’ quota, for t’day!” “Which reminds me…” The fox glanced over his shoulder to see Minerva grinning to Woody from the window. “You didn’t hear it from me… but, Mr. Joe’s been pretty impressed with your work, Woody. If it’s in the budget… I think there may be a raise, in your future…” “Really…?!” The woodpecker leaped up with a cheer and began doing backflips around the kitchen area, much to Joseph’s chagrin. It became even more annoying when Woody, still overjoyed with the prospect of a raise, spun him around, jumped up, and smooched him on the lips! “Godfrey Daniels…!” Joseph half-shouted, censoring himself, due to the mixed company. “The lips! Always with the lips!” But, Woody didn’t care. He continued to flip and cartwheel around the kitchen for several moments more. When he was done, he stood right back in front of the stove, giving the mink a gracious bow. “Ya don’t know what this means t’ mean, Minnie,” he excitedly stated. Minerva offered a sly smirk as she leaned on the order window. “Oh, I think I have some idea, Woody…”

“Well, I better get t’ earnin’ that raise, then!” Woody said before returning to the food he was cooking. “Nose against th’ grindstone ‘n all that!” “Well… don’t rub your nose on it too hard.” He looked up, giving a blink as Minerva reached in and gave his beak a playful flick. “Wouldn’t want it to dull that sharp wit!” That caused him to squirm and shyly twitter… which, Joseph found even more annoying.

“Why does she like you so much, anyway?” Joseph said once Minerva was out of ear-shot. “She always plays favorites with you… Why?” “It’s the hair, pal!” The woodpecker gave a flick of the net-covered feathers on top of his head. “Babes dig the hair!” “Yeah.” He gave a snort. “Right…”

The remaining thirty minutes of Joseph’s shift were filled with the noises of running water and sizzling food, as well as Woody’s joyful… and, irritating, humming. Joseph was very glad when he saw the clock flick from 3:59 to 4 PM… Still, he wasn’t one to just abandon his duties on-the-spot. There were still dishes to be washed so, despite his desire to get the heck out of there, he decided to finish up. Then he’d leave. At least… that was the original idea…

“Pile’a plates, comin’ your way!” Woody announced as Minerva wheeled a cart through the free-swinging door to the kitchen. “Are– are… are you kidding me…?” was the fox’s immediate response. “Big families make big messes,” was all the mink could offer him as she unloaded the cart. “You don’t have to wash these, but…” The fox blinked as she gave him a smile that could soften even the most discouraging of dispositions… “I’d really appreciate it…” He gave a slight sigh and a half-hearted smile to the waitress before going about the task of washing the huge stack of dishes set before him. Apparently, her charms worked on him, too.

After finally finishing those last dishes, he looked up at the clock yet again. By the time he’d cleaned every plate, glass, and utensil, another thirty minutes had passed. “Dang it…” he murmured. “My headache would be gone by now… if I’d left on-time.” He sighed as he rinsed the sink, then his hands, before heading over to the punch clock. “I’m not even getting overtime, for this extra half-hour…” he mused as he punched himself out at the time clock. “See you later, Woody.” “Eh? Quittin’ time, already?” the redheaded bird asked as he looked up from his grill. “Ain’t’cha gonna stay for the dinner crowd?” “No,” Joseph bluntly replied. “My head is killing me, I’m tired, and I smell like your cooking. Plus, I think my hands are permanently wrinkled, from all the washing I did today…” “It’d be hard t’ see, under that fur, though!” the woodpecker said with a grin. “In any case, I’m done with this place, ‘til tomorrow. Nothing personal… but, don’t expect dinner, tonight. I’m just too worn-out. We have a few leftovers, so…” Woody gave a hum… then, he turned back to the stove. With that, the fox hung his apron and headed out the door.

“Wait a second… Where do you think you’re off to, mister?” Joseph internally growled as he was stopped at the counter. “Minerva… I’m really tired, so…” “I guess you must be.” The mink rested against the counter. “Don’t you remember what day it is, today?” “Wednesday…?” He narrowed his eyes as she gave a grin. “No? Then… what day is it?”

Minerva didn’t answer. Rather, she reached a hand up, snapping her fingers. Suddenly, people came shuffling in from every door there! Not just any people, either… Joseph found himself surrounded by the entire staff of Joe’s Diner, from first to third shifts!

“Happy foist anniversary, fella wage-slaves!” shouted a familiar spider monkey wearing colorful, patterned shirt, loud shorts, and sunglasses. “We know it’s not officially until tomorrow,” a brunette lizard in a red turtleneck and jeans explained, “but, we just couldn’t wait! You guys have been just awesome!” “Moona ees right,” agreed a pear-shaped walrus as he waddled toward the counter. “Weeth hew two heere, eet has been muuch less streessful for Meester Joe.” “And, we here at Joe’s Diner appreciate that sort of helpful attitude!” said a smiling deer in a pink cocktail dress. “So, to show you our appreciation…” Minerva added as she gestured toward the kitchen door. Joseph watched, surprised, as Woody walked in, holding a fairly large cake over his head. “They made us a cake!” he laughed. “Well… I made us a cake, actually! But, it was mostly Minnie’s idea! So, Happy 1st Work-iversary to us!”

The customers clapped as Woody set the cake down on the counter before hopping over and sitting on a nearby stool, leaving the fox to give a dumbfounded stare. When Joseph finally looked at the cake itself, he noticed it was a white-frosted confection which was intricately decorated with little icing flowers and a single candle sitting high on the top layer. Below the candle was a cartoonish doodle of both Woody and Joseph’s faces surrounded by a Looney Tunes-style marquee, complete with a banner which read “Happy 1st Anniv. from Joe’s Diner!”

Joseph was completely speechless. He’d forgotten about his anniversary at the diner entirely… not that it really mattered to him, of course. Most places didn’t recognize an employee’s first year with any sort of real celebration. However, as he’d been learning since his first day in ToonTown… that place definitely wasn’t like any he’d ever been to.

“Go on, boys,” Minerva said as she brought out a cake knife, setting it near the baked good. “Cut yourselves a slice and enjoy!” “Don’t mind if I do!” was Woody’s immediate response. He carefully took the knife and began to cut a small slice for himself… though, when Fawn started passing out paper plates and plastic forks to the staff – as well as any interested customers – he found himself on cake-slicing duty. Before long, everyone was happily eating the light, fluffy cake made by the woodpecker.

“Ya know sum’in?” The spider monkey grinned down at Woody as he hung from the ceiling by his tail with a bit of frosting on his mouth. “Dis ain’t half bad, Woodrow!” “Aww, shucks, Spydor!” Woody replied with his trademark laugh. Spydor rolled his eyes and gave a grimace. “Dat laugh, though…” Everyone gave a laugh of their own before they began to discuss the events of the year, together. However… just because there was a celebration going on didn’t mean the diner was closed! When new customers popped in to order some food, Minerva and Woody continued to perform their duties, going back-and-forth to the party as the group relocated to a pair of booths.

“R’member when dis furball foist rolled up a li’l past midnight, Fawn?” Spydor said as he stood on the table, pointing a thumb-free hand at the fox. “Eeash, whadda trouble-makah!” “If I remember correctly,” the deer said with a playful grin, “you were the one causing trouble for him, Spydor!” “Ah, dis mook jus’ kept pushin’ my buttons! You know dat, Fawn!” “And, that’s why you decided to flit the bill for his meal?” asked the lizard girl with a grin of her own. “‘e tricked us like we was some monkey-lovin’ genie!” the primate said in his defense. “He ain’t got no free meals from us since!” “Well… since he works here, he could technically–” “Dat’s b’side th’ point, Scales!”

The table had a laugh as Spydor continued to tell his version of Joseph’s first encounter with the diner. Though the fox knew the monkey was embellishing the story to make it sound like he was the con-artist, he knew Spydor didn’t really think poorly of him… though, it helped that no one at either booth believed half of what he was saying, too.

“Woo-dee.” “Yeah, Wally?” the woodpecker said, the walrus getting his attention as he came back during a slow period. “I juust waanted to teell hew that I yam very prouud of how well hew have done,” Wally said in his strange slow drawl. “Hew have done a good joob and have earrned this oold walrus’ respect.” Woody couldn’t even make a joke at Wally’s expense, then. He was genuinely moved by the walrus’ words, giving a sniffle and a smile. “That really means a lot t’ me, Wally. Thanks, pal!” “Whee-ney ees aalso veery proud of hew. She often talks aboout how muuch hew’ve changed, oover this paast year. I thiink hew have, too. For thee better.” Woody gave a shy squirm as he stood there, blushing and grinning. “I would aalso like to saay soomething aboout hew, Joo-seph,” he said as he turned to the fox. “But, I doo not knoow hew that well… soo, all I can say ees ‘congraatulations.’”

“A toast!” Spydor shouted, raising his glass. “To da new bloods’ foist year! May dey have many many more years’a success ‘n happiness ahead of ‘em! Preferably ‘ere at Joe’s!” “Hear hear!” cheered Mona, raising her diet cola. “Agreed!” Fawn cheered, her glass added to the group. Wally silently held his glass up with the others’ as the four of them looked to the newer members of their staff. Joseph looked down to Woody… who looked up at him. The two looked back to the other staff members… then, they both grinned, the former handing the latter a glass of cola before taking his own into his hand. “To our first year, then,” he said with a smile. “And all the monkey-lovin’ antics that came with it.” Woody snickered at the sharp look Spydor gave to the fox from his cheer. “Wiseguy,” the monkey said with a grin. The five then gave a cheer before taking a sip of their respective drinks, the toast complete.

As the party rolled on into 6 PM, a lot more customers were starting to pour into the diner. It was decided, then, that the celebration had gone on long enough. “It’s been fun,” Joseph said as he began to head toward the outside door, “but, I should head home. I really, really appreciate everything you guys have done for me today, as well as over the last year. It’s been a wild trip…” “Yeah!” Spydor shouted, raising his glass again. “‘specially wid you disappearin’ fer over a week, last month! I ain’t never seen Min so pissed!” The staff’s eyes fell upon Spydor, angry looks aimed at the small ‘toon monkey. “What? Wha’d I say…?”

“That aside…” Joseph continued, “I’m really thankful to have this job. It may not always be ideal… but, it puts bread on the table and a roof over my head. Thank you.” “I’ll let Mr. Joe you feel that way,” Minerva called from behind the counter. “I’m sure he’d be happy to hear it!” “Yeah, about that…” The fox looked to the quartet in the booth, as well as the mink at the counter and the woodpecker who was hiding in the back. “Has anyone ever met Mr. Joe?” “Oh, ya,” Wally spoke up. “I did oonce back een nineteen-seventyyyyy…” The walrus trailed off, pausing a thoughtful look on his face. Those paying attention waited several moments for Wally to finish… “Yeah…?” Spydor finally said, speaking up. “I forgoot what I was theen-king aboout.” The monkey audibly slapped his hand to his forehead. “Dat mook’s about as bright as a dyin’ star…” “Don’t dying stars get incredibly bright before they–” “You know what I mean!” he shouted, interrupting Mona and causing laughter all around.

“In any case,” Minerva said, “Mr. Joe seems to prefer e-mails over face-to-face interactions. I’ve never personally met him and I don’t think anyone else has.” There was a collective shaking of heads from the staff. Well… everyone except for Wally. “Maaybe eet was nineteen-eighty-two…” “Hmm… That’s kind of weird…” Joseph crossed his arms… then, shrugged. “Whatever!” He then brightly smiled to Minerva. “Yes, please do let him know, especially if it’ll make his day.” “Consider it done, Joseph,” she replied with a smile of her own. “And… sorry for keeping you so long. I know you were anxious to get home after such a long day.” “Ah, it was worth it! My headache’s pretty much died down, too,” he half-lied in a believable tone. “You have a headache?” Fawn spoke up. “I have some aspirin in my purse if you…” The deer paused. She seemed to be looking for something in her pink handbag. “At least… I thought I did… Maybe I–” “Here ya go, furball.” Joseph gave a blink as he saw Spydor offer a small, white bottle to him. As he took it, he noticed it had a familiar, blue label on it, as well as a child-proof cap.

“Hey!” Fawn cried. “When did you–” “I’d open it fer ya… but, unfortunately…” The monkey held his hands up, wriggling his long fingers. “I ain’t got no t’umbs!” Joseph gave a blink… then, he looked over to Fawn, as if asking permission. “Well… go ahead, I guess,” she sighed, shooting a look toward Spydor. “I did offer…”

The monkey gave a smart-alecky grin and chuckled to the deer. He waited for Joseph to pop a couple of pills before wandering back to the booth with the bottle. With that done, the fox said his goodbyes, shuffled his backpack on his shoulder, and headed out. As he felt the cool night air brush against he fur, the fox suddenly wished he’d brought a sweater or something… “Geez… you wouldn’t think it’d be this chilly at 6 PM… Ah, well… it’s a short walk.”

As Joseph started on his way, something caught his attention. Far to the north, he could already see the lights from the House of Mouse firing up into the stratosphere. He sometimes wondered if he could ever afford to go there and experience the club, himself… but, not very often. He’d heard, from Woody, that it was a pretty pricey place to get into and, in his opinion, at least, not really worth it. Of course, Joseph figured that Woody was talking about the food, alone… From what the fox had read about the place, they had some of the best entertainment money could buy. On an almost-nightly basis, acts ranging from Disney’s own cast all the way to groups and individuals from ToonTown Japan and France… and, even some human bands, on occasion – though, the reviews for those were often less favorable than the all-‘toon acts… “I really wonder what a night in the House of Mouse would be like…” he audibly thought. He then gave a shrug and continued on his way home.

As Joseph started the five-block walk back to the Rubber Arms, he noted how peaceful the night seemed… Or, at least, peaceful by comparison. If he hadn’t been used to the random, manic traffic and seemingly insane behavior of some of the ‘toons, it would certainly be more noteworthy… but, after spending over a year in such a place, he not only learned to tune it out… but, on more than a few occasions, even contribute to it – usually unintentionally… but, he wasn’t above purposely adding to a chain of slapstick events. That night, though, nothing really seemed to be coming his way. At least… not until she showed up.

“Hey, Jojo!” “Hey, Lola,” Joseph casually said as he found himself joined by an orange-furred rabbit girl in a cute, form-fitting, turquoise dress. “What brings you this far south?” “I heard it was your first anniversary!” she said with a bright smile. “Well… it’s actually tomorrow, but…” “I remember my first anniversary,” she dreamily sighed. “Bugs was so sweet… He even baked a carrot cake, for me! Too bad the stupid warden wouldn’t let me have it…” “‘Warden?’” Joseph repeated, giving the shorter ‘toon a strange look. “Parking violations,” was her reply as she shrugged. “If they didn’t want me to park on the sidewalk, they shouldn’t make it so far to walk from the curb!” “It’s like, what? Ten… feet?” “But, speaking of anniversary gifts… here!” she countered. “I made you something!”

The fox gave a blink as Lola reached up, handing him what appeared to be… “A paper crane?” “Yuh-huh!” She beamed. “I made one for you and that lucky girl in your life!” Joseph gave a light blush… “‘Lucky girl…?’” Lola handed him another crane while he was distracted. When he really looked at them, he noticed the two were color-coded; one was baby-blue and one was a pink pastel color. “And, look! When you push down on the tail…” she said, “this happens!” She waggled the blue one’s tail with a gloved hand. As expected, its head wiggled in the opposite direction. “Cute, huh?” The fox smiled. “That is pretty cute.” “Great! I hope your lovely lady likes it, too!”

The energetic rabbit paused… then, she rolled up her glove, looking at a colorful watch. “Oooh… sss… I should get going! I promised I’d meet myself at Village Inn for brunch!” Joseph’s ears flicked and his brow furrowed. Something about that didn’t sound right… “Isn’t it a little late for ‘brunch?’” he asked. The blond rabbit gave a blink of her bright, black eyes. “Oh! You’re right!” She gave a brilliant smile. “It was linner! Duh.” It took a moment for Joseph to decipher what she meant by that… but, he found himself suddenly distracted he realized the other part of that earlier thought which didn’t make sense. “Wait, meet yourself?” “Yuh-huh!” “No, I mean…” “Oooooh… that’s right! You haven’t met my ‘sister,’ Lola, have you?” The fox raised both eyebrows. “You have a sister?” “I have a sister…?” was the confused reply he got. “That’s news to me!” He gave a blink before staring at the rabbit. “But… you just said–” “Anyway, I think you’d like her!” Lola continued. “She’s just like me! But… streamlined! And… older! She’s also reeaaally good at basketball!” Joseph tilted his head, one ear perked. He was more than a little baffled… “Aaaww…!” the rabbit said with a smile. “You’re so cute when you do that dog thing! Anyway, gotta go! Bye for now– oof!” Lola promptly tripped over a nearby fire hydrant as she walked backward. “Now, who put that there…?” she asked as she got back up. “You oka–” “I’m fiiine!” she reassured before he could finish asking. “Bye-yeeeee!”

“That Lola is one crazy bunny…” Joseph said aloud with a smile, starting on his walk again. “She’s pretty cute, though. And–” He paused, stopping in his tracks… then, he looked at the cranes in his hand. “A– I never got a chance to tell her! Hey, Lo–” But she was long gone. “– la… dang it. I wanted to tell her it’s not a ‘dating’ kind of anniversary… Oh well.” After carefully placing the cranes on his shoulders, he continued on home.

“Well, hey there, stranger…” Joseph gave a blink. A familiar voice had spoken to him as he arrived at his apartment complex. A quick look around identified the owner of the voice as someone sitting on the trunk of a small car, parked next to Woody’s own compact-compact. “Winnie?” he called. The female bird in the yellow skirt hopped off her car and walked over to the fox, a smirk on her face and her hands in her pockets. “Who were you expecting?” she asked. “Bugs Bunny?” “You know, it’s funny you mention that…”

Joseph motioned for Winnie to follow him and the two headed inside. As they climbed the two sets of stairs to the third floor, the fox told Winnie the story of bumping into Lola on the street… which, of course, lead to him explaining why he was two hours late in getting home… and one hour late for Winnie’s unannounced arrival.

“Why didn’t you call my cell phone?” he asked as he unlocked the door to apartment 3C. “I did!” she countered. “But, all I got was your voice mail!” “Eh? Hang– hang on…” The bird gave a blink as Joseph pulled his backpack off… subsequently knocking the paper cranes from his shoulder. She immediately picked one up – the pink one – and began playing with it. “What’s this? A new friend of yours?” “Huh? Oh… That was the thing I told you about; the thing Lola made me and my… ahem… ‘lucky girl.’” The fox was starting to rummage through the rear portion of his backpack as he continued. “I don’t think she realized my ‘anniversary’ meant my one-year work anniversary… You can keep that if you want. Maybe I’ll give the other one to Woody…” “Why not keep them both?” Winnie queried as she watched Joseph draw his cell phone. “I think it’d be a nice gift for that ‘lucky girl’ in your life if you do get one!” “Winnie, you’re the closest thing I have to one of those,” he said, not really thinking about it. This caused Winnie to give another blink… “Oh… That explains it.” Joseph had put his backpack back into place and was looking at his phone. “My phone has been off since work, I guess… Well, make yourself at home,” he offered. Winnie was still just kind of staring… After a moment, though, she bent down and retrieved the other crane, then entered the apartment.

“I don’t want to sound like I’m butting into your personal life,” the woodpecker started, “but… are you interested in finding that ‘special someone’ in your life?” “Mm… not particularly,” he answered as he turned on his phone and dialed into his voice mail. “Any particular reason?” “I’m pretty selective… but, also, pretty passive-aggressive.” The woodpecker once again gave a blink of her blue eyes. “No, wait, that’s not right…” The fox gave a hum… then, he attempted to clarify…

“What I mean is… whatever happens, happens. Ya know? Like… things could happen with Velma… or, maybe, Mona and I will have a really good day, together! Who knows. Maybe someone entirely new’ll pop up and we’ll connect right away! But, whatever happens…” The fox’s ear perked as he started to hear a voice on his phone. “It’ll happen… naturally… wow. You sound way different on my phone.” “Really?” she asked with great interest. “Let me hear!” Joseph handed his flip-top phone over to Winnie who immediately brought it to her head. The look that showed on her face a second later told him she was not happy with what she heard. “I don’t sound like that…!” Winnie looked up. “Do I?” “I think my phone just has a crappy speaker,” the fox told her. “So… vaguely, maybe?” She muttered at that, continuing to listen. After a moment, she perked. “There’s another message on here,” she said as she handed it back to Joseph. “What?” He brought the phone back to his ear. “Who’s it fro–” The fox gave a sharp wince as another familiar voice made itself known.

“Well?” Winnie gave a tilt of her head. “Who was it?” “Lola. Again.” Joseph chuckled, clearly amused by something. “What did she say?” “She apologized for the cranes.” “She did?” “And, she promised to get me a proper ‘birthday gift’ as soon as she can.” “She… what?” The fox chuckled as he closed the phone. “That goofy girl is totally clueless… First, she thought it was my first anniversary with… who knows. Then, she thinks it’s my birthday, tomorrow.” He gave a sigh, smiling as he shook his head. “I’m kind of glad I bumped into her at the Warner Library. She adds a little much-needed chaos to my life… even if she can be a little… invasive… from time-to-time.” “‘Invasive?’” Winnie repeated in a curious tone. The fox gave another chuckle as he headed into the kitchenette.

“Remember when I told you about the night she climbed up to the bedroom window from the fire escape just to ask Woody to ask me what my favorite book was?” “I think so…?” “Well,” Joseph continued as he rooted around in the fridge, “she came back the following night just to tell Woody to tell me that she didn’t like the book… in the same, exact way: third-story window…” “Oh, yeah…!” Winnie said with a giggle. “Woody did tell me about that! Then, she hung around, asking Woody all sorts of tangentially related questions!” “Man, was Woody angry, at me…” the fox said with a chuckle as he walked back with a glass of water and a glass of iced tea. “I don’t know why, though. I have no control over what other people do – much less a crazy rabbit girl.”

“Why are rabbits so troublesome?” the woodpecker joked as she was handed her drink. “If they’re not eating your carrot crop, they’re asking you existential questions at 3 AM!” “Oh geez,” Joseph groaned, “don’t remind me of that incident… She’s the reason I keep my cell phone turned off at night!” “I’m a little surprised Woody hasn’t filed a restraining order against her, by now!” “Do you really think that would change anything? Besides…” Joseph gave a grin. “Woody’s just having a hard time adjusting to someone even more bat-poot crazy than he is!” Winnie almost snorted tea out her beak as she started laughing.

“Anyway…” Joseph said, changing gears as he stepped out of his shoes, “what brings you to our humble abode, my dear?” “Well… I actually came over to, maybe, plan something special… for tomorrow. You know…” She gave the fox a warm, proud sort of smile. “To celebrate Woody and your one-year anniversary, working at Joe’s Diner.” “I’m not sure how up for anything Woody’s going to be, tomorrow…” the fox thought aloud. “He’s still doing that overtime thing, on random days. Oh, but, for what it’s worth? I hear he might be getting a raise… Maybe soon-ish…” “A raise…?” The lady perked, brightly smiling. “More pay means less overtime – at least in theory… But, uh… I have to warn you: It hasn’t been confirmed, yet.” Joseph gave a thoughtful hum… “Though, with the way Woody reacted, you’d think he’d just won a trip to Acapulco, or something…” “I’m glad he was excited!” Winnie continued to smile as she spoke in a chipper tone. “If he’s consistently been doing a good job then he deserves a raise!” “Well, from what I’ve seen and heard… that’s the reason he’s up for one.”

“Still, though…” The woodpecker looked down toward the carpet. “I’d really like to know where all that overtime money is going… I never did ask him. Not even during… that unpleasantness… in March.” “You mean with me, right?” She slowly shook her head. “Forgiven… but, not forgotten…” “Understandable. And, more than I deserve, definitely.” Winnie looked up with concern… Joseph was giving a sad sort of smile between sips of his water. Even so, his folded ears and hanging tail told her how he really felt.

“Now, cut that out, mister,” she scolded with a sharp look. “What’s done is done and there’s no sense dwelling on it. You’re sorry and, as long as you’ve learned from it, that’s all that matters.” “I suppose…” She gave a tilt of her head, studying the fox’s body language for a couple of moments… “What’s on your mind?” she finally asked. “Can I be, like… way too honest with you?” he asked in return. “I… guess?” Though she’d said that… Winnie wasn’t really sure what he meant. “You and I kind of… I mean… I kind of threw away something great over a temper flare. And, well…” He bit down on his bottom lip. “I kind of miss it…” Winnie stared up, pondering… After giving it some thought… she started to speak.

“I…” There was a long pause. She had to admit… if he was talking about what she thought he might be… she could be heading back into dangerous territory. It was a slippery slope, after all – at least, for her… and, one, she admitted, that she’d started to stumble down before he’d said those mean things to her. But, even thinking about it, then… “I’d be lying if… I said I didn’t miss it, too,” she admitted. “At least… to some degree.” The fox perked. For some reason, he hadn’t been expecting her to tell him that… “There are a lot of old habits we’ve slipped back into, since you’d apologized,” Winnie said as she slowly walked over to the couch. “Saturday movies… Hanging out on Skype and in-person… Playing online games… But, for some reason, I guess I just… I didn’t want to fall back into doing… that… with you. Because, I…” Winnie shook her head, then looked up at the fox. “I didn’t want to risk being hurt by you, again.”

The bird sat down on the couch and emitted a long, heavy sigh… “You hurt me when I was most vulnerable, Joseph… lashed out at me when I least expected it… I mean, I never even stopped to consider that someone I was so comfortable with would ever say the sort of things you did… much less sound like he meant them… So, as much as I like the idea of coming back to that one last habit… which put us both so very much at ease…” She looked over at the standing fox with a scared frown on her face. “I just… don’t know if I’m ready to let myself get that close to you, again… Her frown became an uneasy, comforting sort of smile, then. “I hope you understand.”

“Heh…”

Winnie’s blue eyes opened wide as the fox gave a brief chuckle. “W… why are you laughing?” she asked, unsure if she should be upset with him. “It’s just… it’s kind of funny, in a way,” was his answer. And unfortunately, that seemed to be the wrong thing to say to her. “Explain,” she demanded in a critical tone that caused the fox to recoil. “I… just…” He paused, planning his next few words very, very carefully. “It’s… interesting… to me,” he clarified, “that… the thought of hurting Woody or anything like that… doesn’t even seem to be a concern, is all. I mean, even if it is a bit on-again-off-again with you two… I assumed you guys were, ya know… ‘traditional?’” “‘Traditional?’” Winnie asked, sounding and looking much calmer. “Do you mean ‘traditional’ in the sense that he and I don’t see other people on-the-side? At least, I think…” “Yeah, that’s what I–” The fox paused. “Wait. You think?” “I honestly don’t know if he does or not…” Winnie gave her arm a rub. “I never thought to ask… b-but, only because I didn’t think it was any of my business!” The fox blankly stared at the squirming woodpecker. Something about what she’d just told him didn’t make sense…

“Now, hold on a second… Didn’t you say you thought he was ‘two-timing’ you some months back?” “Yes… but, that’s not what I’m talking about, right now!” she defensively replied. “That– I… What?” Winnie gave a sigh, shaking her head. “Remember when I told you we had a ‘very casual’ relationship?” Joseph tilted his head at that. “Um… yeah?” “Well, what I meant by that was… we understand that, sometimes, prior engagements keep us from being together – in close proximity – as a couple. So, we sort of… agreed without saying as much… that…” The fox continued to stare. Between the flustered look on Winnie’s face and all the squirming she was doing, it was pretty apparent to him that she didn’t like talking about the subject. Or, maybe, she was just embarrassed…

“Winnie,” she said, getting her attention. “Are you trying to tell me that… you and Woody are in an ‘open’ relationship? Because…” “Oh!” she said, perking. “Not– not exactly…” “Well, then… what–” “But, you’re not exactly wrong, either…?” “A– ah…” Both his eyebrows raised. “Ah?” “It’s a really strange and awkward kind of thing we have going on,” Winnie began to explain as quickly as she possibly could. “Neither one of us really ever brought the idea up to the other but, at the same time, it was kind of an unspoken sort of trust bond between us that, so long as we remained loyal to one another, we could kind of – if we wanted to – maybe, broaden our horizons from time-to-time in a very casual way and maybe look into s-seeing other people for short periods of time or… or…” The woodpecker was blushing through her feathers as she hid her face with one hand. With that can of worms opened, all Joseph could do was stare, stunned, for the longest while. Even though Winnie was doing her best to calm herself as she sat and sipped her tea, it was clear that she actually was embarrassed by what she’d just confessed. In no small amount, either.

“What you must think of me, Mr. Lithius…” she bashfully whimpered, after some time. “I uh… That’s…” “When I said that I thought he might be two-timing me… I really did mean it… But, at the same time…” She once again hid her face. “Oh what you must think of me…” “N-no, no… I actually do get it. I think.” Winnie perked at that, turning her head straight at Joseph with a startled look on her face. “Y-you do…?!” “We’re actually kind of… opposites, in a way,” he said with a comforting smile. “I can happily give my heart to multiple people at one time but, unless I truly care for them and they for me… I don’t want things to go too far. However, if I’m understanding you right… you can only be truly in love with one person… but, you might still… ya know… ‘have fun’ with others that interest you.” The woodpecker stared at the fox for several moments before shyly whispering… “Or, really nice people who seem to understand me…”

Winnie set down her drink to press her gloved hands to her face, continuing to blush harder than Joseph had ever seen her blush before. He wasn’t sure what to do… but, eventually, he decided to join her on the couch. She briefly considered shying away as she watched him reach over toward her hands… As he pressed his hands again her own, though… which, in turn, pressed her gloves against her warm cheeks… she felt a shiver run down her spine. Her eyes closed and emitted a long, happy sigh, softly smiling as she let the fox hold her hands. It was… reassuring. Truly reassuring. It was reassuring knowing that Joseph understood what she meant. Even with the strange way he’d phrased it… a way that made her feel a little dirty, upon hearing it… the fact that he understood that part of her… and, that he didn’t seem even remotely judgmental about it… It made her feel… safe… Like… she could tell him anything in the world…

“Joseph…” she whispered after several moments of reflection. “Yes, Winnie?” was his tender response. “It goes without saying that… this is our secret. Right?” He gave a soft chuckle. “Of course.” “Good… then, I can tell you another secret…”

The fox tilted his head to the right, ears perked. He watched as Winnie slowly opened her eyes, turning her head his direction a couple seconds later. Her gloved hands slid out from under his, gently pressing the shortly-furred palms against her bare cheeks. She gave a soft, relaxed sort of sigh… then, suddenly, her eyes opened wide as an intense look overtaking her. “Ah kilt fiddy men!!” she shouted in a strange accent with a sadistic grin on her beak. “Ah– ah…!!” And, just like that, Joseph was on the floor, wearing a terrified look on his face. At least… until he noticed Winnie laughing her red head off.

“You…! Wah…! Nngh–!!” was all he could say, his face turning indignant from her prank. “The look on your face…!” she half-squeaked as she continued to laugh. “Ahn…! Ahn… Hrn.” Try as he might, though… he couldn’t even be mad. Even though Winnie had completely shattered the mood of close intimacy they’d fallen into, he kind of had to admit… “That was pretty funny…”

Winnie stopped laughing, her face getting really intense again. However, the new look… was one of surprise. “Wh… what did you say, Joseph?” she quietly asked. “I said…” A smile cracked on his muzzle. “That was pretty funny.”

Something changed, then… The fox watched as Winnie’s look gave way to one of… sorrow? Tears were filling her eyes at a rapid rate… but, at the same time, her beak was curling upward… into a smile. It was a confusing look, to say the least. That is, until…

“Ah-wah…!” The female woodpecker had thrown herself at the fox, hugging him so tight that he found it pretty hard to breathe! Even stranger… Winnie did seem to be crying, judging from how wet his shirt was getting… but, she wasn’t bawling… Rather, she seemed to be making a lot of weird, squeaking noises… ones Joseph recognized as happy sounds. “Wha–” he panted, “Wha’d I say…?” Winnie leaned back, calming herself down as she brightly smiled to the fox and wiping away her tears with one arm. She seemed like she was having a hard time containing her joy, with the way she kept half-laughing to him… “You said the magic words, Joseph…” she eventually replied. Slowly, she curled into his chest, hugging him close and rubbing her cheek to where she’d been crying. “That’s all I ever wanted…” she whispered in an almost inaudible tone. “Thank you…”

Joseph was baffled… He was confused… He was mystified! But, more than anything else… he was happy. He was happy to have absolutely made Winnie’s night like that. “I guess I should tell you that you’re funny more often…” he softly said, gently nuzzling down into her curled hair. “Only if it comes from the heart…” she whispered, giving his chest a kiss. For some reason, that made him blush pretty hard…

“So…!”

The fox jolted, his ears perking as he heard someone else speak. He froze, a chill running down his spine as he immediately saw the owner of the voice standing in the doorway of the apartment, one eye closed and a strange sort of scowl on his face. “W… Woo… Woody…?!” Joseph finally called. “Mind tellin’ me why my gal’s got her whole body pressed up against yours, there, pal?” “A-aa… ah…” “Eh? What’s that?” Woody brought a hand to the side of his head. “Speak up!” “Woody…?” Winnie sat up from Joseph, looking over her shoulder. “Woody!” Before the other bird could react, he found himself floored at the doorway, his girlfriend hugging him tight and making more of those sounds Joseph had gotten, earlier.

“Wh-what’s th’ story, babe?” Woody casually asked. “What’s got’cha so excited…?” “Oh, Woody!” she said as she sat up, brightly smiling. “He… he said I was funny!” The male’s eyes opened wide. A moment later, he gave a warm smile. “See?” he said with a wink. “Tol’ja he’d come around!” “You did…” she cooed, snuggling into Woody’s feathers. “You did…”

While all of that was going on, Joseph just sat there, between the coffee table and couch, with a completely boggled look on his face. He could not even begin to make heads-or-tails of what had just happened. Woody didn’t seem even remotely upset. In fact… Joseph wasn’t even sure he had been when he walked in… Something about his tone seemed more teasing than angry…

“What in the name of The Trinity Above did I miss, here…?” he finally asked. “Ain’t it obvious?” Woody brightly smiled to his roommate. “Ya un-broke Winnie’s heart!” “I… what?” The male woodpecker sat up, letting Winnie keep snuggling into him as he continued to speak exclusively to Joseph.

“When ya told her… ya know… what ya told her, b’fore, ya broke her heart into about a million pieces! But… when ya told her she was funny – which I’m guessin’ was just now – it put all those itty-bitty fragments back in order, patched ‘em t’gether, ‘n fixed her heart up good-as-new! Heck, maybe even better ’n that!” Woody carefully wrapped one arm around the snuggly girl, gently stroking his other hand through the feathery quiff on her head. “You’re A-OK in my book, pal! All’s forgiven! Just don’t mess up, again. Else, I might make good on that discount eye surgery I promised ya!” he casually threatened, with a wink. “I… e– ah– uh– okay.”

After letting Winnie hug him for a few more moments, Woody slowly eased the bird to her feet, joining her shortly after. Joseph also got to his feet before walking over to the duo. “Weeell…! Pretty great day all ‘round, huh?” the bird asked. “Joe ‘n I got a party at work, you ‘n Joe made nice, an’ me ‘n you got a li’l impromptu snuggle session!” Winnie gave a giggle. She almost seemed shy, as she stood next to Woody with her arm behind his back and his behind her’s… but, at the same time, she also seemed a bit shameless. “It’s not every day I come home t’ such a welcome!” Woody continued. “Thanks for warmin’ ‘er up for me, pal!” “Uh… you’re welcome…?” was the fox’s confused response. “And, now, I think it’s a good time t’ call it an evenin’!” “You’re probably right!” Winnie said, giving him a light squeeze. With that, Woody and Winnie walked to the door, Joseph following a moment later.

“Thanks for stoppin’ by!” Woody called as he waved out the door. Winnie gave another giggle, waving as well. Joseph returned the waves. “Don’t be a stranger, now! Bye!” And, with that, the door was closed, separating those parting from those staying.

“Man… that was a fun,” Joseph said to himself. “I should hang around those two, more often. We really need to find a time where all our schedules line up…” The fox’s tail swayed and he hummed a happy tune as he walked down the hallway. “I wonder when I should visit, next? Hm…” Joseph continued to muse to himself as he walked down to the ground floor, already planning his next visit. He’d gotten about halfway out the building’s front door when… “Hey! Wait a minute…!” He turned around and went right back up the stairs, giving a grumble… and, a laugh.

“They got me. Again!”

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