#actually its me against caleb widowgast. writing from that man's perspective feels like wringing water from a rock sometimes

[elftwink]

the one fun thing about writing something longer than 10k or so words is once you get really frustrated with the specific part you’re working on and start being like ‘im a fraud im a sham ive never written anything’ you can just take a breather and scroll around 1000 words forward and be like. actually i’m so talented and cool and hot and this is going to be the best thing ever. this libreoffice document contains multitudes

#good idea generator #fic writing tag tba #yes this is about that fake married au i post about once every 3 months or so but never actually finish #sir thats my emotional support fic i started in 2019 that i'm most of the way finished with #but cannot for the life of me polish off the last few thousand words #but that document is always open. every day it's me and caleb widogast against the world #actually its me against caleb widowgast. writing from that man's perspective feels like wringing water from a rock sometimes #i do feel bad posting about this wip because its been. multiple years. and i don't want to continually give the impression #that i might post it Tomorrow. Soon. idfk that yknow especially given how everything has been in the last few years #but like also at this point it is hard to understate the emotional attachment i have to working on this fic and talking about it 2 myself #this thing is a monster. it has like six documents. varying stages of draft saved. alternate scenes documents. alternate perspective bits #multiple outlines. a playlist. a poem that fits it #most of the random npcs who exist to move the plot along got full backstories to the point where i could play them as dnd pcs #it's the longest work of fiction ive ever written. bc ive been working on it on and off for so long a lot of milestones #were completed while writing this fic. idk its been so long its almost embarrassing to be like 'still working on it' #but i couldn't give it up if i tried. you know. this fic is like a lover to me. it is my everything #it's my mortal enemy it's my best friend it's my shoulder to cry on it's my fine china to throw against the wall #i escape to it. i need to escape from it. i'm tortured by it. its tortured by me. i bemoan it day in and day out #i wish id never started writing it. i wish i could experience writing it all again. i want to be done yesterday. i never want to finish #etc. you get the picture