#also FUCK real estate speculation for sometimes trying to chase me away from here. I WON'T GO AWAY; not because of that

[system-of-cells-interlinked]

my beloved beautiful city (derogatory), my horrendous hostile place (affectionate).

forgive them (or don't), they don't understand you like I do.

#q #i was in the subway and I just heard someone criticizing MY CITY and i'm having a moment here #no one can hate on this city except for those who also hate it (affectionate) #sometimes i really want to leave this country #and I probably will if given the opportunity - still might work towards that actually once things settle more #in many many ways that would be the most logical thing to do you know; if i can get all things right #but that will also mean leaving this city #and oh my god i would miss this place #with all its imperfections (and there are many) #and the chaos (but i guess i always loved the chaos in a way) #i don't like my place of birth that much #and i've loved this city since i can ever remember being here for the first time #it used to be a highlight of my childhood to come here #i'm glad i could be here often back then; once a month at least #and i didn't know many places; that's true; but i've always known it was and is my favorite place in the whole world #and then i never wanted to live anywhere else #and i'm so very grateful that everything worked towards me coming here like i've always wanted to #also FUCK real estate speculation for sometimes trying to chase me away from here. I WON'T GO AWAY; not because of that #it has always been a place where i felt safe (in a weird way; and absolutely not in a physical sense lol because it's not safe at all) #and more than that it's a city where i've always felt i belonged to and could relate to #anyway this is a love letter to this place. #obviously where i was born and grew up is very relevant in my formative years #but i feel like i really... well... became who i am today in this city. #and i thank it for all the walks i had and the cloudy days and even the scorching hot days and even the fucking slow moving traffic #god. i'm fucking romaticizing hot weather and slow moving traffic of all things now. wtf is wrong with me #and i thank it for all it taught me - how to be street smart; and ironic as it is; how to be more compassionate; how to handle differences #i've always moved houses a lot and i still kind of do. home was never one specific house for me #home; i think; will always be a place in this city. even if i decide to go away one day #queueing this because i'm emo about the whole thing now; and i want this posted but i don't want be online when it gets posted lol #might feel better about it later and even write it in proper form rather than tags idk