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#and it's just goofy and. kind of porn-y ig
daydadahlias · 2 years
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Re: Concerning Extracurriculars
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Some crack for the girlies based on my brain worm of “omg what if management met with Ashton and told him that he can’t participate in bondage anymore bc he has insured wrists and cant risk injuring them” that I then felt obligated to inflict onto others.
Summary: a conference meeting and other consequences of dating (and fucking) a drummer with insured wrists
Word Count: 3,567
Pairing: Calum Hood/Ashton Irwin
Rating: Mature
READ ON AO3
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knightotoc · 8 months
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^ apparently he's the reason SFF is horny so, respect. The book is awesome but I wouldn't recommend it unless you have a lot of patience for problematic, outdated, super weird nonsense like I do. There are 6 short stories:
1. Sail On! Sail On!
The premise of the first story is, what if the world WAS flat, so Columbus fell off the edge? It's an absolutely brilliant idea and shown in a really cool way. The best part of the story, and the whole book really, is his made-up early-modern Christian ham radio: the Morse code is not an electric binary of dots vs dashes, but a moral binary of angels vs fallen angels:
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It's just so ridiculous and clever and funny, it blows my mind. I heard about this story bc I was reading some Ted Chiang, who also often has the premise "what if this pseudoscience was real?" But I liked this old story a lot more, if only because it's so much funnier.
2. Mother
Another great but much weirder and creepier story. There's a lot of horror movies about evil/twisted moms/motherhood, and I feel like this goes harder than most (as a rule books generally go harder than movies tho). No notes, it's awesome. I feel like Junji Ito should adapt this.
3. The God Business
Starts off like Annihilation with a weird evil Garden of Eden appearing in America (I wonder what a Mormon would do with that premise?), but gets a lot more goofy Alice in Wonderland, and then just super bizarre mid-century atheist-misogyny-psychology bullshit. It reminds me of It Happened in Boston? and More Than Human. An acquired taste to be sure, but I am so compelled by the bitterness and sarcasm toward God in these old stories that you just don't see in fiction anymore.
4. The Alley Man
My least favorite story and barely sci-fi, it's about a horny, impoverished caveman (?) and a wide-eyed grad student who is fascinated by him. It reminded me of Candyman 1992, but not nearly as good. Kind of cringe all around tbqh but apparently this was cutting-edge nastiness so ig I appreciate it as a historical artifact.
5. My Sister's Brother
Another bizarre one, but I like the claustrophobic setting and the horrible twists and turns. The porn-y bullshit and the long descriptions of the aliens are tiresome but kind of cool. This one and Mother have fun alien gender binaries, but Mother's is more fun.
6. The King of Beasts
Fun one-page horror story, I like it!
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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years
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NSFW Alphabet // Ethan Torchio
words // 2383
warnings // smut, clearly its nsfw headcannons
pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader (might be mentions that seem like they are for f reamer but comeon theres lingerie for every body 👁️👄👁️)
author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. an apology to the people on my tag list i think i accidentally have not been tagging you this whole time i am so so so sorry omg
request // yes, it was a reblog i cant find it right now
summary // self explanatory
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Regarding you, Ethan is the king of after care. As rough as he can be in bed, that’s just how sweet he can be once you're done with it. Goes full on dad mode (don’t know how else to explain this). He will have water, painkillers if you’re now in pain, a washcloth to clean you up, new clothes, and of course the cuddles.
“I’m alright, Ethan. I can do it on my own,” you say as Ethan walks to you with the wet cloth ready to clean the mess he made on your body.
“I know you can, amore. I just want to take care of you,” he says as he leaves a kiss on your lips.
I can also see him being the one to make a big fat breakfast the morning after, or at least get up early to pick something up.
Now I also feel that he is in need of some aftercare. It depends on the day really, if he’s had a pretty rough day and all I feel like he’d ask for some backrubs after. In this case he’d fall asleep so quickly like omg. But on the biggest part I see him feeling the need to reassure you that the things he said (i think we already established that this man would call you a slut) are not how he feels about you and will be asking if you feel the same.
“Do you love me?”
“Wha- of course I do, Ethan! Where is this coming from?”
“I don’t know… I guess - I guess I am worried that you don’t after what I said.”
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
When it comes to himself I feel like he really likes his chest and arms. Like I don’t know but I see him really getting off with you pretty much mastubating on his chest. Ya know what I mean? (i think you do you little sluts). He pretty much enjoys anything you do on his chest. I can imagine him looking at the mirror after you two had sex, seeing the cum on his chest along with the marks you have left and just smiling.
“What are you looking at, love?” You ask, seeing as the man is standing in front of the bathroom mirror from your spot on the hotel bed.
“Nothing, just the mess you made.”
“Mhm, and I bet you like it, huh?”
“You have no idea… Hey, are you sure you got tired? Cause I think I can do another round.”
As for his arms, as I said, he simply really enjoys that he can man handle you anytime, get you in any position he likes and feel you scratching them from the pleasure.
When it comes to you, Ethan is an ass guy. Say what you want but the man is an ass guy, end of discussion. He loves anything that involves your but. It does not explicitly have to be something like anal. He simply enjoys seeing your butt and holding it in his hand. It does not matter if it’s big or not, if it has stretch marks or whatever. Wear lingerie that he likes or that itty bitty teeny weeny bikini if you wear them or even some tight pants that make your butt just poìp and he can not contain himself.
I think I have said that to someone here (i think I had sent an ask to zodi @ icouldbeyourputtet) before but I feel like this man is very into spanking, like not even the rough malicious way. but this very wholesome chill way.
You had been talking about it all day, not having had a minute alone with each other for days, you could only dream what you could do that night after everyone left.
A playlist was playing in the background and a cigarette was burning on the ashtray next to your legs, you assuming a similar position, as said cigarette, bent over Ethan’s lap as he caressed your ass cheeks and back, playing around with the lingerie set he had gifted you a while back. (Did I just go to search my fave porn vid, lol exposing myself, and get disappointed because I can’t find it and translate it into fanfiction? yes yes i did, so bare with what i can remember)
“It’s okay, baby, you can take a little more, come on,” he praised, leaving a spank and yet another soft rub on the very red cheek.
He continued, going with the music, a very nice pattern, not very rough spanks but just enough to cause pain, pleasure and redness all over. Accidentally the man landed a few very rough ones causing a gasp and a series of giggles as you practically fell off his lap.
“Ethan, what the hell?” You laughed getting up from the floor and this time sitting on the man’s lap, sharing kisses with him.
“What,” he copied your action and laughed, “it was not intentional. I got carried away by how nice your butt is.”
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He is and is not messy. He will not want the cum to be in every surface possible you know, he will be careful but at the same time this man just loves to see his cum on you, whether it’s your back or your stomach, or in you if you’re ok with it. I bet he has a teeny weeny breeding kink but not necessarily because of the idea of breeding you but rather because he looooves seeing his cum run out of you… I'm not sure if this falls in the breeding kink category but alright
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He likes to fuck you while watching porn.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
I feel like he is pretty experienced. From what they band has said in interviews and stuff, he seems to be getting some pretty often (no one, NO ONE, is surprised at that). He is not acting arrogant tho (not unless that’s the dynamic of the night), he is willing to learn what works for you and you specifically
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
As I said this man is an ass guy so I’d say anything that involves having the view of your ass. Humor me but i think he’d really like 69 with a female/afab partner (don’t know if this works very well with two dick-baring people lol). It has it all, eating you out,
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
I think it can be both with him. He will not exactly try to make jokes but if something like the previously mentioned spanking incident happens it’s def welcome.
Now as a general rule I see him being pretty serious. I will be honest, I’m getting brat tamer vibes from this man so it’s all pretty serious when you really get into it.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Considering he’s an Italian man and if you look at a lot of photos of him he def fit the ‘mediterenean’ man type. I see him just barely grooming. I don’t see him really shaving or whatever but he also wouldn’t want you to choke on pupic hair, he much rathers you choke on his dick
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
It all depends, really. He can be quite intimate with you but it all depends on the moment. There are different occasions for everything. For example, and this is a paradox that I hope I’m explaining well enough to understand, he is not very rough (will not be very aggressive and stuff, like to the extreme those tik tok boys want to pretend they are with their * growling * ew) but he will be rough. intimidating looks, spanking just enough to make you feel pain and redden up your ass cheeks. He’s like that mostly when you are being bratty.
Most of the times, like we’re talkin kind of lazy sex moments, it more wholesome ig, like very intimate and just comfortable and almost comforting. Ok, but like why do i see him having sex and having casual conversation (not the most common, i see this as like lazy day off, having nothing else to do and not being like super horny but being more like h o r n y … am i making sense?)
Setting the scene, you two are at home, both have a day off but it’s kind of raining so any of your plans are ruined. At this point it’s at around 10 am, not early, not late. You have missed each other and both have made it obvious but you are both in a very tired state so you opt for something not too much.
Plain and simple missionary is what goes around this time, Ethan on top just holding your legs around his waist,, going at a pretty medium pace.
“It’s a pity the weather is bad today,” says Ethan staring out the window.
“I know, we were going to go to the beach… I’m bummed about it,” you say, short of breath as the man continues his pace fucking you.
“Mhm, true. But this is better, amore, no? I’ve missed you so much,” he breaths out the last part, moans interrupting his words.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He does that pretty often, especially if you are not around to help. Sometimes it’s because of you that he needs to. I would def see him exchanging naked pics with you and at first he does that to tease you but he ends up teased when he sees a video you sent of you masturbating.
Bets that he’d be taking photos and vids of you fucking on occasion so he goes to these when he misses you on tour.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
As I mentioned previously I see Ethan to be a brat tamer. That I see to be the main kink that kind of works around everything else.
“Can you stop this, slut? It has gotten exhausting. I told you no noise but here you are,” he ordered, looking down at you trembling below his finger tips.
His face was quite stoic, voice never wavering from the strict and cold tone he tended to have when scolding you on the daily. Most times it was leaving a cup out of the sink but this time the scolding came from misbehaving. As if it was not enough that he was punishing you for being a brat and riling him up all morning, now you had to disobey orders. It was getting to him for sure.
“I’m sorry daddy,” you whisper, Ethan seeming satisfied with the response.
“Aw, why so tame puppy, now you decide to be nice?” His tone stayed the same, his words imitating a joke but the whole ordeal was not even close to it.
Now as for other kinks (did I open a site because I could not think? yes, shut up), as a result of being a brat tamer dom there are some few more kinks accompanying specifically that. He is def into bondage, both tying you up but also being tied up on occasion.
“Puppy, I have told you that is not a way to treat me. Untie me,” he says calmly, wrists tied on the headboard of the bed, eyes fixated to you.
“Well, why not? You do it all the time,” you whine, placed on all fours, facing Ethan as you lean towards him on your hands, “I want in on the fun.”
If only he was not tied… Ethan’s mind was already going places, figuring out exactly how he would punish you after you untie him -or after he escapes the restrains, whatever comes first. You knew that, very well - in all honestly that was the plan, that is always the plan.
“Amore, let me go. Let me go and your punishment will be tame,” he voiced looking at you, now positioned on top of his lap, touching yourself right then and there.
“I sense you want to be punished puppy, don't you?” You simply nod your head, eyes closed in pleasure.
“You see, the problem is you will not enjoy what I am thinking.”
“Mhmn.”
“Well, get yourself off now that you can, cause after I get my hands on you… You’re not getting to cum for days, amore.”
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Honestly, anywhere. I can see him having a preference to the luxury of either of your houses or a hotel room but if you push his buttons just right, some restaurant’s bathroom it is.
why can i imagine him having sex at a weeding venue’s bathroom….. omg…..
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Honestly, both. I feel like he would be extremely good at giving it, but would never opposed to receiving
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He’s ok with them but he doesn’t love them, ya know?
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.
Is surely try to do new things but it will always depends on what it is.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Come on. This goes without saying. He is a drummer for a living. He can surely go on for long…
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I def feel like he has a fair amount of toys. Some for himself, some for you… He looooves using them to punish you.
(small mention to my last fic little puppet)
“Beautiful, puppy! You have been doing so good for us, taking your punishment so well, but we are not done yet.” A buzz sound is what concerned the girl, eyes widening at the toy.
It was a small remote virator, imitating sucking on the clit. The drummer placed the girl over his knees, stuffing the toy between his leg and her clit, shocking the sensitive bud. “I think you can take a few more spanks,” said the man, landing one at the expanse of her thigh, the skin giggling at the contact.
“Damiano, count,” ordered the assertive man, seeing his friend kneel in front of Y/N, kissing her and then doing as he was told.
“I think we were left on twenty-three. Twenty four,” he began, counting all the way to forty before the ordeal was over.
The whole time Y/N was shaking, just about to fall off the edge, asking for permission to cum but her wishes were not granted just yet. She was exhausted, overstimulated, frustrated, and now unable to move on her own. But, oh man did she need more. The two men were more than willing to assist her.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
A ton! It’s his specialty. Maybe one of his most common punishments is edging and teasing. He can drag it on for days
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He is not very loud but is surely encouraging you to be.
tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost
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