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#and the BPD stuff isn't happening like i've not mood swung at all lately i don't think
elytrafemme
·
9 months
Text
why doesn't anybody talk about schrodinger's mental illness? seriously i think i'm onto something here
#nightmare.personal
#i'm starting to think i'm over it like
#i've been so happy lately and i'm having these weird nightmares about my family for no reason but like
#i have FRIENDS and i'm taking CARE OF MYSELF and like i thought i looked super pretty today
#but i am freaking out a bit about how nice this one friend of mine is being to me
#which is so weird bc he'/s like the safest guy to be around ever but suddenly i feel insanely unsafe
#hm. maybe i'll be fixed if i go to bed
#ugh i have classes tmrw which are FINE classes but like. work. and then also therapy
#and therapy's good just like. ugh. Ugh. maybe i'll talk to her about me hating my gf's mom's profession and my moral crisis
#bc guys it's kind of awkward i really don't fuck with landlords but my gf's mom is um . Kind of one of those
#anyway i think i'm better honestly like the klavier and dahlia stuff is starting to just feel like an inside joke
#something earlier happened and i was like klav would like this. andi pictured him a bit in my brain as how he looked
#and like. we laughed. but i don't think he was there at all
#and the BPD stuff isn't happening like i've not mood swung at all lately i don't think
#so maybe it was all in my head andi'm fine now? that could be it honestly like. i'm fine. which!
#is weird and abrupt but hey i'm into it. y'know. whatever
#it would kind of suck if it turns out i was perfectly fine i was just overthinking it but. hey
#honestly whatever. people are fine i'm fine i'm safe and the nightmares are stupid
#i need to see this guy anyway tmrw because i invited him along to grab breakfast with me and our mutual friend
#we're like a trio so i figure it's fine. hopefully the dining hall isn't still on fire i need to fuck up that pomegranate acai drink so bad
#it's SO good you guys. but like. idk. i feel happy like perfectly happy. like i don't think much is wrong
#these weird feelings of dread and hovering on the edges of panic attacks sometimes but that's really it
#ugh. i hope the lecture hall has good chairs
#sorry i cannot focus on this i'm restless rn. i need. like. something
#i think me and my GF might break up soon bc of the parents work and the sex thing but like.
#someone lobotomize me i'm literally fine what's going ONNNN
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