#and you've got the adage chances are ur gay

[amazing-shit-went-down]

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#if you google am i gay #Are they emotionally manipulating me or do I not know the practical difference between emotional manipulation and conversation #i legit just don't know #and you've got the adage chances are ur gay #but also the risk if they aren't manipulating me? #i ain't gonna call that out #what if having that level of control is the only way they can feel comfortable in a relationship because of how they've been hurt before #i can't say they aren't hurting me #because it hurts when they tell me the things that have happened to them but friends listen to each other and I should fucking help people #but i am struggling so hard right now #and I'm so fucking scared that they're gonna hurt themselves because me #and I don't want that to fucking happen because I on principle want to help people #but they've overemphasized our relationship so much #'ive known you three years' most of which we didn't talk at all #to #'ive known you since i was 11' #it doesn't math right #and maybe i iust need to be there for them but i don't know how #no one tought me that #and i don't mean to be bitchy and edgy #but for fucks sake im tired #im exhausted #and i can't deal with them #and thats selfish of me #and im afraid I've manipulated them by love bombing and then abandoning them #making them emotionally reliant on me and leaving them #but im clearly not as invested in this relationship as they are #and i want to be kind #but thats really fucking hard right now