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soulrph · 2 years

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Heavy question, cw: queerphobia

Obviously some people put in their rules DNI's for things like terfs, [orientation/gender identity here]phobes, etc. Now of course not everyone would actually read or respect the DNIs if they do apply to them. I'd imagine most bigots would ignore them anyway. But even if someone's rules do not contain a DNI would you say it's dishonest and scummy for a mun to interact with other muses that have a queer identity/orientation that the mun is phobic or exclusionary towards ooc?

this has been in my drafts for CENTURIES and honestly idk if now is the best time to respond, but i'll stick it under a cut to be safe!

so, from my understanding of this, it would be like a t//erf mun following a transgender mun? which, if i'm right, strikes me as profoundly stupid. wait a second, that can't be what you meant! let me reread this.

wow.

okay then, i need a minute. bc normally i'd be thinking about the sociology classes and the power of language and meaning and all the rest. but this doesn't apply here, because frankly, nobody's going to notice it. it's a personal and private decision. you won't tell the entire dash about the person you wanted to follow but didn't bc they didn't want anything to do with a transphobe. the only person who knows about that is the person reading the DNI.

this is like the banned face claims. if i have someone, we'll call him jim bobbleton, in my banned fc list, and someone shows up who uses jim bobbleton as their fc, and i follow them???? that's pure and simple insanity. that's beyond foolish of me. because i don't have the right to say "hey, jim's an asshole, you can't use him as a fc anymore", but the one thing i could do that would help me out is out the window, bc i just followed the person using him as a fc.

aka. why in the name of god. would someone follow sb with a lifestyle which they're profoundly exclusionary of??

nonnie, my love my light my life, i have had many questions cross my threshold. but this is the first to make me deeply and truly baffled. i can't wrap my head around this. yeah, it's dishonest, it's shitty behavior in the extreme because they're making a safe dash unsafe, but like. i genuinely and truly cannot fathom why anyone would do this!

i need to go reread this a few thousand times. i know i didn't misread it but also maybe i did. anyhow, happy holidays, nonnie, thank you for dropping in, and if anyone has their thoughts to add, fire away in the comments! but. if you're gonna be an asshole to others. i will be blocking and reporting. a place can be safe and accommodate calm discussions at the same time.

#transphobia tw #queerphobia tw #queerphobia cw #transphobia cw #listen if i miss any tags please let me know !!#i won't use the // bc the filter doesn't always find them #but tysm for sending this in nonnie!#cinnanon roll.

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porcupine-girl · 7 years

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I don’t often post previews like this? But all three of those ideas I posted last night, they’ve been festering and developing in my head for a while now, and I’m just like... so eager to show them to people and talk to people about them, even if it’ll be a while before any of them are fully written. So I’ll probably be doing this more in the next few weeks. :)

Anyhow, I wound up mostly writing on the baby AU last night (Jack got Camilla pregnant, is going to raise the baby himself, Bitty goes to Providence for the summer to be his nanny). Keep in mind this is an almost-totally-unedited first draft, almost certain to change! (about 1400 words under the cut)

Eric was surprised to see Camilla Collins coming down the stairs when he got home from his afternoon class. They traded polite hellos as they passed each other, Camilla's smile looking a bit strained.

He knew she and Jack dated for a bit last year, but Jack hadn't really said a word about her since, and Eric hadn't seen her around. Were they back together? If they were, she hadn't looked terribly happy about it.

When he got to his room, he saw that Jack's door was open. Jack was sitting on his bed, looking dazed.

Eric poked his head in. "You okay, Jack?"

Jack looked up, but looked right through Eric as he sat there blinking for a moment. Finally, he shook his head as thought to clear it.

"I… I don't know."

That was not the response Eric had been expecting. He frowned and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and dropping his bag next to it.

"What's going on? Did Camilla… break up with you or something?"

"What?" Jack's brow furrowed a little, but he still seemed mostly out of it. His voice was somewhat faint as he said, "We're not dating."

"Oh, right," Eric said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I mean, I didn't think you were, but I don't know, I figured maybe I'm just out of the loop."

Jack looked down at his hands. "We… hooked up. Once. I mean, yeah, we dated for a bit last year, but that was a while ago. We hooked up once this school year, back in September. I hadn't even talked to her since then."

"Okay," Eric said slowly. He wasn't sure he really needed that information, but it felt like Jack was working up to whatever it was that had him so… maybe not quite upset, but in shock?

"She's pregnant."

Eric's eyes widened. He dropped onto the bed next to Jack, who leaned into him a little, like he was relieved to have someone there. "Oh. Oh, gosh. And it's…"

Jack shrugged. "She says she hasn't been with anyone else since then. No reason for her to lie."

"Is she…" Eric wasn't quite sure what he wanted to ask. "Does she… want to keep the baby?"

"Yes." Jack shook his head. "No. I mean—she's not having an abortion. But she wants to give it up for adoption."

Eric hated himself a little for being relieved. Relieved that Camilla didn't want to keep the baby herself, that it wouldn't be a reason for Jack to get back together with her. It was a terrible thing to think, not to mention totally useless since it's not like Eric had a chance either way.

"All she really wants from me is to go to the doctor's appointments with her," Jack continued. "Just for moral support. She doesn't even want me to pay for anything, she says her insurance will cover most of it and what it doesn't, the adopting parents will."

Eric nodded. "Well, that sounds. Y'know. Doable. But I get why you're…" He waved a hand up and down toward Jack. "In shock, I guess. Even if you don't have to do much, that's still kinda big, knowing a piece of you's gonna be out there livin' in the world somewhere."

"Yeah," Jack said quietly, frowning.

They sat there for a minute or two, Jack lost in his thoughts, Eric watching him.

"If you need anything," Eric finally said softly, "just to talk about it, or help with anything, or… or baked goods—" Jack didn't quite laugh, but he snorted and smiled, and that was good enough. "—you know I'm here for you, right? Anytime at all."

Jack nodded. "Thanks, Bittle. You won't tell anyone, right?"

"Good lord, of course not."

—

Finals came and went, Epikegster and Kent Parson came and went, winter break came and went.

Jack didn't mention the pregnancy again until one day in mid-January when he quietly slipped into Eric's room and shut the door behind him.

Eric looked up from where he was highlighting a textbook on his bed.

"What's up?"

Jack was a little pale. Eric hadn't seen him looking so shaken since… actually, he looked even worse than the day he found out that Camilla was pregnant.

Jack came right over to the bed and sat down next to Eric. He stared down at his hands long enough that Eric started to worry.

"Jack?" he finally asked. "What's going on?"

"What if she's like me?" Jack said, his voice nearly a whisper.

"She?"

"The baby. She's a girl." He finally looked up into Eric's eyes. "I went with Camilla to the doctor today, and they did the ultrasound. It's not… theoretical anymore, it's not just this abstract idea, that I got someone pregnant. She's got arms and legs and she was wiggling around. And what if…" His eyes shifted down again, to where he was twisting his fingers in his lap. "What if she's like me, what if she has an anxiety disorder or some other mental illness, and her parents don't know how to deal with it? What if they're in denial like mine were, and she just hurts worse and worse until she breaks?"

"Oh, honey," Eric said softly, touching Jack's arm. "That's a lotta what ifs, you know. She might not inherit any of that, and even if she does, I'm sure her parents will get her help. They'll have all the information about you, right? Your medical history? They'll know what to look out for."

"Or what if—" Jack cut himself off, and Eric realized suddenly that he was trying not to cry. Eric leaned his head on Jack's shoulder, and to his surprise, Jack leaned his head on Eric's.

"What if," Jack tried again after swallowing down whatever tears had been threatening him, "they see that I'm her biological father, and that I'm in the NHL, and they expect that from her? I mean, obviously not the NHL but something at that level? It was hard enough growing up in the shadow of my dad when I was surrounded by people who knew what it was like, what if she has parents who push her and have these expectations for her and they've never even felt that pressure themselves so they don't even know how to help her handle it as much as my parents did? You know what happened to me; if she has my talent but also my problems, and parents who push her and don't get her the help she needs—" Jack drew in a shuddering breath. "If she's going to be born, I don't want her to suffer like that."

Eric waited a few moments before speaking, wanting to make sure Jack had said everything he wanted to get out.

"Will Camilla let you help pick out her parents?" he finally asked. "You'd get to talk to them, right? You could ask them how they'd handle all of that."

Jack took a deep breath, then nodded. "I could—yeah, I should maybe talk to her about that. Sometime when I'm… not freaking out about it. But even then, they could say anything right now to sound good—I mean, think about it. They're gonna want to give the right answers to get us to choose them, right? Obviously the right answer is no, of course we won't pressure our daughter into anything just because she's good at something. They might even believe it right now. But fifteen years from now, how do I know they're going to follow through on that? Or that they'll even know how to? If she's really good at—well, any sport, really—something, and is pushing herself, and making it to the top levels, will they even have any idea how to balance supporting her pursuing it with not pushing her?"

"That sounds like something any parent would struggle with," Eric said carefully, lifting his head up to look at Jack. "I would hope they wouldn't lie about it just get a baby, though. I'm sure you'd be able to tell if they were."

"Maybe," Jack said, frowning down at his hands again. He finally glanced at Eric. "Sorry. I don't mean to dump all this on you, it's just… I haven't told anyone else yet."

"Oh, Jack, that is fine!" Eric said. "I told you you could come to me with anything at all, and I meant it! If there is absolutely anything I can do to help, please let me know, okay?"

Jack gave him a hint of a smile before standing up. "I will. I think I've got some thinking to do, but I'll let you know if I need a sounding board for it, okay?"

"Absolutely. Anytime, Jack, I'm serious."

#omgcp #zimbits #pg writes

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