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unsaidholland · 4 years

Text

vintage, but feels brand new

reposted this bc the tags weren’t working!

i am finally getting this out omg! this is inspired by the bridge in come back home by arkells (great song, one of my favourites!)

warnings: the use of no-no words

being married to your best friend was one of the greatest things that you’ve ever experienced. after only being married for two and a half years, you had a little girl named bryana astrid holland. she had your complexion, eyes, and nose, but harry’s hair and lips. she was the most adorable curly, copper headed baby to ever grace your life, harry of course was a close second. now, at three years old she was one of the biggest blessings in yours and harry’s life.

the honeymoon phase never really ended completely for the two of you, but it was slowly dying out. the buzz of being newlyweds had ended, but the love you had for each other never ended. how could it? he was everything you could’ve ever dreamt of in a husband. he also was amazing with your daughter, which you loved about him. the soft harry that came out around bry was one of your favourites, sarcastic harry was a close second. you often found the two of them cuddled up on the couch together when it was nap time, and when you guys went out, her favourite place was on top of harry’s shoulders. he would do anything for his girls, and that’s one of the things you discovered about him after you guys got married. you always knew he was selfless and extremely dedicated to everything, but it took a different form when it came to your family.

as you were in the kitchen preparing dinner for the three of you, the tv was playing a show that bry loved. the sound of her giggles and her singing along with the songs filled the room. a smile appeared on your face as you continued to saute the vegetables.

harry said he would be home in time for dinner, but he had been filming his newest short film and you had a bit of a hunch that he wouldn’t be home for dinner. recently there weren’t family dinners. just you, bry, and an empty spot where harry should have been. it hurt, but you knew he was working hard. the perfectionist in him always made filming meticulous, but it was his passion. everyone understood that whenever harry was working, nothing was ever short of perfect. however, it was starting to take a toll on you.

you missed going to bed with him, not him crawling into bed when you’re already half asleep. you missed having dinner with him, not watching him have dinner when you were winding down for the night. you missed him being around to play with bry, not her asking when he was going to come home. you just missed him being there.

as you were about to finish cooking, your phone went off.

hi love, sorry i can’t make it for dinner. we’re redoing a few shots, they didn’t turn out the way they should have the first few times around. i’ll try not to be home late, i love you!

you were excited that he was supposed to be home for dinner, but a part of you knew that this text was going to come sometime later in the night. you texted back a simple, okay h, we’ll see you when you get home :) don’t overwork yourself, i love you. you wanted him to be home, but you couldn’t change his work, so you decided to push the sadness aside and enjoy the time you were going to spend with your daughter.

“bry! time for dinner bubba,” you called out into the living room. you put the food out on the table after setting it for the two of you. the sounds of her small, chubby feet hitting the hardwood floors was enough to make you feel better in an instant, but you knew that it would only be a temporary fix.

“where’s daddy? he workin’?” bry asked as she entered the room. your face softened at the slight disappointment on her face.

“it’s just you and me for dinner tonight bubba, i’m sorry.” bry’s face fell. she missed harry, you knew that, but there wasn’t anything you could do to make him come home instantly. “come on, let’s eat, yeah?” she nodded in agreement, climbing into her chair. you felt terrible for her being so let down that harry wasn’t at dinner, but you tried your best to make it up to her. “how about this, let’s eat dinner in the living room and watch a movie. what do you wanna watch?” her face lit up at the sudden change in dinner plans. for the past few days, dinners have been spent at the table with just the two of you, but the introduction of a movie and the subtraction of the kitchen somehow made it more exciting for the curly haired girl.

“mmmm, i wanna watch toothless!” the disappointment left her voice as she thought of the night fury.

“okay bubba! let’s get our food first, and then we can put on the movie, okay?” she carefully grabbed her plate from the table, and waddled over to the living room, putting her plate down on the coffee table and sitting down on the rug that lay below it. you followed in her steps, putting how to train your dragon on the tv, and sitting down beside her. “can i have a hug baby?” she gave you a hug, and you said a quiet “i love you” to her, one she didn’t hear over her own excitement.

as the movie finished, bry was already asleep, so you carried her to her room, laying her down in her bed. you placed a soft kiss on her forehead after tucking her in, closing the door behind you as you left the room. you went back to the living room to clean up the dishes the two of you left behind, and to pack up the leftover food that was sitting on the dining table.

the time your phone screen read 9:23 pm, dinner was about three hours ago and harry still wasn’t home. you decided to begin unwinding for the night, heading to your bathroom to begin your skincare routine, then heading to your bedroom to put on a pair of shorts and one of harry’s t-shirts. a part of you wanted to lay in bed and put on a show before going to bed, but another part of you wanted to wait in the living room for harry to come home. deciding on the latter, you walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water, then heading into the living room. you decided to watch the good place while waiting for your husband to get home from work. even though the show was on, your mind couldn’t help but focus on where he was.

•••

harry walked into the house quietly. it was 11:13 pm, but he didn’t intentionally come home that late. they just needed to get the perfect shot. he swore it was only going to take another hour or so, not five. he saw you sleeping on the couch, the glow of the tv being the main source of light filling the room. he walked over to you, squatted down, and placed a kiss on your forehead, causing you to stir. he waited for you to go back to sleep, but that never came. you opened your eyes and groggily you said, “harry?”

“i’m here now love, i’m sorry i’m late,” harry’s apologetic tone was obvious, but it didn’t make up for the fact that his daughter was extremely let down that he didn’t go through with dinner plans that you both had made. you were upset, truthfully you were beyond upset, but you knew you were only upset because you missed him. you sat up, letting him sit on the couch beside you. you were turned so you were facing him. his jacket still on, but unzipped, hat abandoned somewhere.

“did you get the shot you wanted?” your five years of marriage plus the three and a half years of dating prior to getting married made you able to read him like a book. he wanted to tell you about work today and pretend everything was okay, but you weren’t okay. harry, too blinded by his own excitement, proceeded to tell you about the shot and how perfect it had turned out. he went on about how nathan his cameraman kept messing up and going too fast at times and too slow at others. he talked about how the actors’ chemistry was too much at times, which wouldn’t make sense when you watched it back given the storyline. he talked about everything that happened that day. you watched as his eyes lit up, and how his body language immediately changed.

he realized near the end of his story that something was wrong. you weren’t as excited as you usually were. “darling, what’s on your mind?” he asked. he searched your eyes for an answer, but they were filled with an odd mix of pride, anger, and disappointment.

“you weren’t at dinner tonight.” the single statement was enough for him to start piecing everything together, but before he could open his mouth to let an apology roll out, you continued. “bry was really disappointed you know. she really misses having you around. i know that this is your job and your passion, but h we’re your family. we need to spend time with you too.” you looked down at your hands and started fiddling with the wedding ring that sat on your ring finger. “i really, really miss you h.”

“is that what this is about? that i wasn’t at dinner?” he asks. when you look up at him, all you see is his face twisted in confusion. “don’t you want me to work?” you scoff. he’s clearly not getting it, you think. as your eyes roll in annoyance, harry begins to see red. “what now, i don’t fucking get it.”

“yeah, clearly.” the sarcastic remark burned on your tongue as you spit it out. having enough of this, you get up and walk to your shared room but not before saying, “your dinners on the island, just reheat it.”

soon enough you found yourself alone in the king-sized bed. the white duvet was pulled up over your legs, the end of it sitting above your waistline. your laptop sat on top of your thighs as you aimlessly scrolled through pinterest. your mind wasn’t focused on the aesthetically pleasing photos, but rather on how harry couldn’t understand that his family missed and needed him. as what felt like hours passed, harry finally entered your room. he closed the door behind him and went straight to his closet to grab a pair of sweatpants for him to sleep in. as he was getting undressed, the silence filled the room, being louder than it should have been.

harry sat on his side of the bed, pulling the covers up and over his legs, then beginning to read a book that was left on his nightstand. his brown eyes gazed over the pages. like you, his mind wasn’t focused on the words that were on the page, but rather the ones that left your lips. how could she say something like that? she knows my work is important to me, he thought.

“how could i say something like that? harry, you haven’t even been home for dinner for the past week! you haven’t been here to put our child to bed, who by the way, always asks me when you’re gonna spend time with her. i know your work is important to me, and i’m not saying it shouldn’t matter, but i’m saying you need to learn how to give yourself to us and work at the same time.” you said, shutting the laptop. his thoughts weren’t supposed to leave his head, but now they were out in the open. you both were grateful that he had broken the silence, even if he didn’t realize that he had.

“are you kidding me? who the fuck do you think is putting the food on the table? you’re still on maternity leave and we know damn well that money covers all the bills so don’t even try to act like you’re doing more than me.” you were looking at him, and he was turned so he was facing you. “whenever i’m around i give all my time to you and to bry, so why are you even complaining?” he let out a scoff, one that infuriated you more than you already were. you turned so you were facing him, but moved back towards the foot of the bed so you weren’t right next to him.

“i honestly can’t believe that when i say your fucking daughter misses you all you retaliate with is how much money you make.” you got up, grabbing your phone and a book. “i’m sleeping in the guest room because you’re acting like a child right now.” harry stood up and met you as you walked around the bed towards the door.

“don’t just leave when we’re actually talking about this, what the fuck!” he exclaimed. his volume was rising unintentionally, but he was still sure to try and not wake bryana who was sleeping in her room down the hall. you tossed your stuff gently onto the bed.

“fine, you want to talk? let’s talk then. you leave every day at 8:30 am, bry wakes up at 7. you spend about an hour and a half with her, then leave and don’t even come back until it’s around eleven pm. this happens every fucking day harry. i bring her to school every morning and all she asks me is, ‘is daddy gonna be home for dinner today?’ and all i can say to her is i hope so. don’t act like we don’t appreciate what you’re doing for us.” you’re looking at him in the eyes now and all you can see is anger. harry is filled with rage, but what you don’t see is that he is determined to win this argument.

you continued anyways, “do you enjoy having dinner alone when your wife and kid are upstairs sleeping? ‘cause we sure as hell don’t like having dinner with your seat empty. and i-” harry was quick to cut you off.

“literally just shut the fuck up for thirty seconds and let me speak.” you were shocked. not once has a fight between the two of you escalated this far or gotten this heated. “i fucking work hard for our family and however many kids we’re going to have, okay? i’m sorry i’m not always around when i’m working, but you knew when you married me that i give my all to whatever project i’m working on.” he stopped to rub his face with his hand. tears were welling up in your y/e/c eyes, but that didn’t stop either of you from continuing. “i love you and i love our family, but i have a job and a career that makes me have long workdays at times and not have worked at all other days. you just have to accept that.”

harry’s tone softened when he saw you fighting back tears, though he wasn’t going to give in. but then you choked back a sob, and he immediately let his defence fall. he pulled you into his bare chest, wrapping his arms around you. as much as you wanted to refuse his touch, you couldn’t. the bedroom was only lit by the lamps that sat on each nightstand and the moonlight, and as the two of you stood there you wondered how you were so lucky to be with harry. yes, you were still technically in the middle of a fight, but somehow you both felt as if there was some common understanding that was reached as soon as the tears fell.

“you know i never meant to attack you like that?” you asked. “i just want you to spend more time with us when you can,” you said, feeling guilty about all the words you said to him. they weren’t particularly nasty perse, they just came out too hostile. “i’m really sorry baby.” you looked up into his brown eyes to see him staring back at you. the anger that once clouded them was replaced with soft love, that’s all he felt when he saw you.

“i’m sorry too bub. i swear i’ll be home for dinner tomorrow night. don’t tell bry, i wanna surprise her.” after planting a soft kiss to the top of your y/h/c hair, his hands went up under your shirt to rest on your waist, wanting to be closer to you. nothing was fully resolved just yet, but at least the two of you could go to bed that night without being angry with each other.

the next morning, you had woken up to an empty bed. the sun had already risen, and as you looked at the clock that sat on the wall opposite to your bed, you saw that it was past seven am. you had woken up late. you immediately checked your phone, already freaking out about your alarm not going off. you didn’t have time to prepare lunches and breakfast for everyone if you wanted to have a morning shower, nor did you have the time for yourself that you reserved every morning when you did your morning skincare just a little bit slower than you should have.

as you were about to get out of bed, the door opened to reveal harry and bryana. harry was holding a wooden tray, breakfast sat on top of it with either a cup of tea for both you and harry.

“what’s this?” you ask, confused as to what you did to deserve this. it was a normal saturday, there wasn’t any special occasions coming up, and it wasn’t like you and harry were yelling at each other less than twelve hours prior.

“it’s breakfast in bed mumma! we’re having breakfast in your bed!” you knew the confusion was painted onto your face, but as you looked at your husband a soft smile appeared on your face.

“well come on then! get over here you two,” you said as your arms opened up for bry to come cuddle you. she ran and hopped up onto the bed, harry following behind her, careful not to spill anything. he placed the tray down in the middle of the bed, it had three plates on it, all of them had scrambled eggs, a piece of buttered toast cut on the diagonal, and some strawberries and blueberries on the side. he sat down beside you and leaned in to give you a kiss. you met him halfway despite your morning breath. “before we eat, i’m gonna go brush my teeth okay?” you asked bry, and she nodded in agreement, already munching down on her toast.

you came back from the bathroom to see bry starting to eat some scrambled eggs, half of her toast was gone. harry was putting his tea down on a coaster that sat on the wooden nightstand on his side of the bed. you sat down in between him and bry, on your side of the bed, and took a sip of the tea that he made you. bry had a cup of orange juice that sat on the tray that she reached for.

once bryana was done with her breakfast, she ran off to her room to play with her toys and to get dressed for the day leaving you and harry alone. you and harry had taken photos of the breakfast arrangement prior to her leaving, but you still wished she had stayed. there wasn’t much left for the three year old to do but go and play.

“thank you for this.” a smile appeared on both of your faces, ones that harry wanted to savour and remember forever, so he took his phone out and took a selfie of the both of you.

“anything for you, my love.” he didn’t need to say more for you both to know that this was an apology breakfast, a breakfast that told you he was going to try and divide himself up more whenever he was working on a project.

the almost half an hour that the two of you spent together before getting ready to fully start the day made the butterflies stronger. the love that you had for each other only seemed to grow if that was even possible. though the marriage was a little bit vintage, it still felt brand new.

#harry holland #harry holland fic #harry holland one shot #harry holland imagine #harry holland x you #harry holland x reader #harry holland x y/n #harry holland fluff #harry holland angst

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