#bexsua.

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – quiet when i'm coming home, and i'm on my own

joomi doesn't know if it's better or worse that he still sees jinyoung every day.

it might be worse. somehow, going home with him most days for just a couple months was enough to become something he has to unlearn. some part of him still waits, at the end of every training day, to not have to go home alone.

there's something exhausting about it: the constant expectation and disappointment of going home by himself. when he gets home it's almost always dark, sua in her room, whether she's asleep or awake doing something. he usually just takes a shower and goes straight to bed these days; he needs at least an hour to stare blankly at his ceiling before he can manage to get any sleep. he stays as late as he can at training, too, so desperate to postpone the reality of sleeping alone for as long as he can.

it's pathetic. that's how joomi feels: pathetic. even knowing why jinyoung is distant – even understanding it, he's still pathetic. he's still pining and sad and he thinks he would be fine if he could just hold his hand again. he doesn't even need to fall asleep with him like he used to. he'll take anything.

it's just that he can't help but think about him when he's trying to fall asleep alone. he's being dramatic. he tells himself that over and over, but still can't shake the feeling of being so completely and utterly alone. he tries to remind himself: even if he doesn't have jinyoung, he has the dead calm boys, and ren and dohyun, and other friends that matter to him, but...at the end of the day he's still alone. he's always been alone. it's nothing new, and he was fine for years by himself. why is it different now?

he thinks of that night after next gen, when jinyoung tried to bake away his emotions and they awkwardly sat on the couch together with cupcakes in the oven, and he asked him if he could hold his hand. joomi said something then, about how in his saddest moments, he would've really liked someone to hold his hand. maybe that's it, then: two months of always having someone to hold his hand like he always wanted, without knowing he always wanted it. now that it's gone, he feels it.

tonight, it's like an extra weight on his chest, crushing. he stares at his ceiling and doesn't know if he's ever felt so empty or so stupid. somehow, closing his eyes makes it worse. he can't breathe, and he feels like the only person alive in the entire world. he sits up in his bed, hoping that will fix something. it doesn't.

i don't want to be alone, he thinks to himself. ren or dohyun would probably be fine with him calling them and going over, but he feels bad, and he doesn't want to take a fucking train or bus at fuck-o-clock in the morning while on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

sua is here, though. god, he doesn't want to bother her, but he also feels physically incapable of laying here by himself any longer. so he slips out of bed and out of his room, then just sort of awkwardly stands there in the hall outside.

he could just sleep on the sofa instead. that sounds slightly less terrible, but he really just wants to sit with someone. he doesn't know if he even wants to talk. he just wants a concrete reminder that he isn't alone in this world.

he runs over what to say in his head, and stands outside of sua's bedroom door for far too long. eventually, he gathers the courage to open it.

"sua..." he calls. "i'm, um...kinda going through something right now...and i just...don't want to be alone, i think. will you just...come sit with me for a while?" he is so pathetic. he trusts sua, though; he doesn't think she'll say no.

@bexsua *

#bexsua #–– p #–– quiet #–– 0224 #lordt #can u believe this man goes to therapy and is still like this.

[bejordan]

˖✩ — ( @bexsua )

the last few weeks had been very intense for the young male; intense with very disappointing results as for that matter. although he was somewhat free of stress, the idea of jewlery shopping would change his mood for the better. he had planned on replacing a few accessories for a while now, but never gave himself the chance to do so. now, he was able to reward himself of the opportunity with a new friend by his side.

𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍 thought a jewlery making shop would be the best for the duo to have a relaxing day — especially since they both share the same interest for their love of jewlery.

after their arrival to the shop and being greeted by the employees, they were then taken to a table. there were accessories and everything you could name available to let your mind roam free on the jewlery piece of your choice. it was definitely 𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍’s happy place and hope 𝐒𝐔𝐀 would enjoy it just as much.

“places like this full of cool jewlery will always leave your pockets very angry but it’s always so satisfying being here.” he joked.

#i hope this starter is okay! #if you want any changes let me know! #[ 〄˙ ˖✩ 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 ⎯ 𝐌𝐉. / 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫˙ ˖ ] #bexsua

[behaein]

˙ ˖ ✧ — @bexsua

"thanks for joining me. i really needed this day off."

with that, haein let out a sigh before slightly leaning her head onto the other's shoulder. ever since she had become a trainee, haein found herself lost in her own thoughts. while she was one step toward her goal, she also found herself feeling sort of stuck. this time around felt a lot different from her last time as a trainee.

maybe it was the mere fact that she was indeed training at a different company, or maybe it was because, this time around, it was pretty apparent that she wasn't the most skilled trainee, but something felt a little suffocating. so when she had asked sua to join her on this sunday outing, she couldn't help but feel relieved when sua had said yes.

"have you ever been to an arcade like this before? there's so much to do, and it's really good for relieving your stress. i don't know how many times i've played wack-a-mole!" haein had suggested the arcade first, and while she did think sua would have fun at the place, it was also because she knew she'd be able to let loose and have fun herself.

#bexsua #( * ♡ : threads. )

[besana]

in pelican town ;

starter for @bexsua !

sana checks her bag before leaving the apartment, making sure she has everything she needs. she and sua are planning on just hanging out and playing stardew today, but there's always a chance they'll decide to do a random stream together or just switch to a different game, so sana has both her laptop and her switch, as well as their respective and her little bag of what she calls the miscellaneous stuff -- a spare hdmi cord, phone charger, her spare joy cons, things like that. she's pretty laid back about most things, but she takes gaming seriously. she doesn't want to have a craving for mario kart and not have enough controllers or something.

she makes her way to sua's place, all her various electronics packed carefully in her backpack and her headphones in. she just has all her liked songs on shuffle, like she usually does when she can't decide what she wants to listen to, and she entertains herself with the wild difference that comes from having cherish, b.e.t, and other kpop groups on the same playlist as anime openings, taylor swift, and fall out boy. she does mouth the words along to basically every song, though, making her wonder if the reason she's so bad at school is because her brain is too full of random lyrics.

she finally arrives at sua's and knocks, bouncing on her feet even as the door opens. "ready for some stardew?" she asks her friend, grinning widely as she puts her headphones in her pocket.

#bexsua #p ; sua #p ; in pelican town #; starter #( sana exposing my music taste lmao #hopefully this is okay! )

[bechaerin]

✦ * ·  ˚ @bexsua

due to the nature of her changed schedule, chaerin has found herself dedicating less and less time to art. it was hard to find the time while she was juggling her very last semester and being an idol trainee. it was even harder to try to get out of certain schedules with her peers because the latter was still a secret to the world. 

that’s why she valued this time she managed to squeeze in with sua. it was a one-day art class that the younger had signed them up for. initially, she wasn’t too sure about it because why would she attend one? but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she needed some relaxation time, and this was perfect.

taking a look at her canvas and then the others, she couldn’t help but chuckle at how different their art styles were. “that’s a nice use of colors you got there,” she threw out before tilting her head at her own work. they were given a common topic to draw, but it was interesting to see how sua interpreted it compared to herself. “i don’t think i would have ever thought to use such a combination.”

#bexsua #( * & : happy ending | threads. )

[beyejun]

part of the family.

@bexsua

this is good for me, yejun tells himself for the fiftieth time in the last hour, or at least he's pretty sure it's been that many times. he sorta started losing count. he loves music. he loves being on stage, he loves making sound with his own hands and voice, he loves the sheer emotion they can put into words and melodies that explain sensations beyond what the lips can manage in normal conversation. since the disolving of dead calm, there's been a void in yejun's life that he didn't quite know how to re-fill. what's a band without jung joomi in it? even their shared eat schmidt days weren't so bad as long as they were together. it's weird to play music without him now.

that, and joining a band with ahyoung was probably the worst idea that yejun has ever had. not that she let him say no anyway, he really didn't have a choice. but her abrupt personality and utter lack of care for anyone else's feelings... well, it's hard.

at least he has sua here. he had always joked that he liked joomi's roommate better than him and it's true that they're good friends. not that he means to put any burden on her, but maybe she'll be his 'new joomi', the person who keeps him sane when his world is crashing down around him as it so often does. he's been sad around sua before, at least. that's how they met; yejun crumbling on a blind date he was not ready to go on after his breakup. he needed a friend, and sua was able to provide that.

"i'm gonna quit," he complains to her during a moment where ahyoung has left the room to do who knows what. his threat is an empty bluff, but he continues anyway. "tell ahyoung i broke both my hands and my music career is over. otherwise i feel like she'll break my kneecaps or something and i still need to be able to get to all those classes i hate." he sighs; he has a backpack full of statistics textbooks he needs to read later tonight. it doesn't get much worse than this. "maybe i need to fake my death, actually. you wouldn't tell her, right?"

#p: part of the family #bexsua

[bejaehyun]

@bexsua

as jaehyun walks into the pc bang, it truly was a sight to behold. with the confidence and comfort of a regular, he threw a charming smile to the coworkers of sua manning the counter, nudging his glasses up while not missing the way they eye his fingers. worked like a charm every time.

"is sua getting changed? can I get my usual while I wait," he asks with a tilt of his head, hoping that the senior would tell any potential new employees that didn't know jaehyun the ropes. after all he did come here to leech off his friend's employee discount.

a quick affirmative later and he taps out with a quick thanks, finding himself strolling up to his usual seat with headphones already slung around his neck as he boots up the pc. now he just had to wait for sua to pop up.

#bexsua #para: stories untold;

[ahyoungbe]

* (UN)CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

ahyoung often runs into problems. that's a good general vague statement that could be true of anyone, but especially her. maybe more accurately, she often causes problems. she hasn't done anything this time, though, and actually, that's exactly the problem.

she really wants to be part of a band. the thing is, she doesn't want to put the work in to make one herself, and none of the people in bands that she knows will let her into theirs. their loss, as far as she's concerned. she knows, in her heart, that it would probably be more fun in the end to start something herself, playing music with a group of people that she's sure she actually likes, or that at least don't suck, but god. ahyoung hates putting work in. she would much rather be making an over-elaborate meme right now.

instead, she's with sua, which honestly isn't a bad thing. she likes sua! they're friends! and more importantly, sua was receptive to the idea of starting a band when ahyoung randomly floated it by her. ahyoung thinks a girl band would be really cool, but she thinks it would be even better if she could get sua to do most of the work in pulling people together and managing everything.

"okay, so, i think yejun is in to play drums for us. actually, you should talk to him and fully convince him because he never listens to me," ahyoung says, over her apartment's tiny dinner table and a pile of halloween candy she convinced her mother to ship to her from california. she's happy to share with sua.

"i guess if we actually wanna do this we have to find somebody that can sing, though. wait, can you sing? i mean, i can sing, but i don't really wanna be a frontman. i'm way more pete wentz than patrick stump." will sua even get that reference?

@bexsua *

#bexsua #* THREAD #* UNCONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM #this lowkey took a hot minute but . here we finally go LKSDJLKSDG

[noelxbe]

rollercoasters don't scare me

noel enjoys roller coasters, or at least he used to, he hadn’t been on one in quite the while. noel had had fun on roller coasters when he lived in canada, the family would go to an amusement park here and there, but though korea too had amusement parks and they’d been living in the country for around five years, they hadn't gone to any amusement park here in korea. upon seeing the ride here in the halloween market, noel was quick to decide he wanted to join, and though he was alone today, that surely didn’t scare him.

he was forced to sit next to a stranger ( @bexsua ), not that he minded, he was sure he’d have fun anyways, but when the rides goes up, noel realizes perhaps that love for roller coasters he once had, had been hidden away. he doesn’t realize his actions, but when it’s gets more wild than he expected it to, he’s suddenly clinging onto the stranger’s arm beside him like a baby koala, no scream, but definitely fear within him.

#it's been put in...→ queue #noelxbe #it's been put in... → queue #bexsua #less ! sua #lost ! rollercoasters don't scare me #be:halloweenmarket #( just tell me if i should change anything ! )

[bexmatt]

meow meow

matt and his grandmother was very obviously very different. he’d picked up the phone when she called, ‘soo is missing’ she told him, her cat was missing, but her voice sounded the same as always. it only got worse when matt asked how long the cat had been missing, to which she responded ‘maybe around half a day’ “maybe” had that cat lived with matt then he’d be panicking after five minutes. he dropped everything he was doing, quickly showing up at his grandmother’s house. ‘are you hungry?’ she asked, did she not care for the situation? of course at last it ended with his grandmother sitting in front of the tv while eating cookies and matt going out to search for the cat.

he knows it wanders off often (except when matt is there, then he doesn’t let her escape). “soo!” he calls once again, oh that poor cat, what if it’s stuck in a tree or bush or oh god… “soo!”. it’s only been five minutes of him looking, but he’s feeling stressed like it’s been hours. “sorry! have you seen my cat? her name is soo, she’s black and has white spots and” oh man, could that cat please return.

follow me - @bexsua

#put it in the -> queue #bexmatt #bexsua #upon a star ^ thread #on the ground / meow meow #high above / sua

[chisatobe]

shame is a funny thing. chisato knows it well ⸻ the heat immediately flashing to her face when she sneezes too loudly on the subway , tripping on the sidewalk and feeling dozens of pairs of eyes on her , the dark and twisty thing in her chest when her family talks about the accomplishments of her siblings and finds a way to breezily gloss over her own. and yet , she finds that there is none here. perhaps it's the sunk-cost fallacy. the fact that she's spent dozens of hours rearranging this particular room in her virtual home , painstakingly creating custom designs pixel by pixel , a herculean task she chipped away at night after night in pitiful increments , means that this ought to be something she takes pride in. a benevolent shrine , some may say , to the seven boys who started her on this journey. sort of.

but while she doesn't happen to feel embarrassed at all by her work , she's slowly starting to get the sinking feeling that this acceptance is not universal. with furrowed brows , chisato watches as sua's little avatar stands in the middle of the room , at the center of the ... well now that she acknowledges it as an altar , it does sound weird , doesn't it ? her own villager continues clapping as she had commanded it to , eyes closed and cheerfully oblivious to what was probably horror on the other side of the screen.  ❝ so , anyway , this is the room i'm proudest of , ❞ she says , because she's come too far to turn back now.  ❝ i , uh , made all of these designs by myself. with reference photos , of course. you might recognize that photo over there as car door guy. ❞ 

@bexsua ( god , grant me strength . )

#bexsua #( * ╲ thread : god grant me strength . ) #( * ╲ with : kwon sua . ) #lmk if anything needs changing!!

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – soft reset

in the grand scheme of things, joomi probably owes a lot to next gen. sure, he essentially ended up there on accident, and wasn’t there chasing his dreams, and in the end he “failed,” but...not really. somehow, the support he received on that show gave him a little boost in confidence and a little more inspiration to make his life better. 

step one was leaving his shitty old band and starting a new one. step two, he didn’t really intend to take yet, but it just ended up working yet: moving out and away from his shitty roommate. it seemed like a lofty dream to get away from him, especially living on his own, and as great as the latter would be–– yeah, that part, at least, was unreasonable. getting away from him in general, though? not as hard as one might think. 

he absentmindedly kept an eye out for affordable places, and ended up finding sua’s request for a roommate. now, joomi has a proven track record of tolerating the scum of the earth, so he had no real doubt that he could put up with this sua no matter who she was. the point of moving out in the first place was to find a little bit of a healthier environment, though, and while it would be on brand for joomi to uproot himself from one toxic environment and plant himself in another, he wants to...not do that, if he can help it.

so he investigates sua a little bit; ends up finding out she streams, and catches one. she seems fine. she’s an artist, her taste in music is decent, and she seems a little abrasive, but honestly, joomi can respect that. he’s not the friendliest either, and he’ll definitely take blunt-or-rude-depending-on-who-you-ask over an alcoholic that threatened to kill him at least once but probably more.

she seemed fine when he reached out to her about living with her, too, and all the times they communicated leading up to today: move in day itself. sua has been helpful enough at helping joomi get all his stuff into the apartment, which he appreciates, and now...they’re done, really, aside from one last thing: joomi’s backup keyboard. he’s used to carrying his keyboards around thanks to the band, but getting it inside a new apartment is a little bit more of a challenge that he’s thankful to have sua’s assistance for.

once they set it down safely in joomi’s new room, he takes a look around. lots of boxes to unpack still, and it’ll take some time to feel like home, surely, but he has a good feeling about this place.

“that was the last thing,” he informs sua, which means...now he just has some time to kill. he made sure he had today off from his jobs so he didn’t have to stress out about move in day taking too long and interfering with his shift. 

he just sort of stands there awkwardly for a moment, then laughs a little, just as awkwardly. “can i have some water? i mean...i guess it’s my place too now, so maybe you should just...show me where you have the best water-drinking glasses...”

–– @bexsua

#bexsua #–– soft reset #–– p #this made me laugh to write sfgdsfhdfhdfh joomi is so funny sometimes...

[be-points]

KWON SUA - SEOLLAL MINI-EVENT

Playlist: +3 aesthetic (link)

Solo: +3 rap (link)

#bexsua #be:seollal2024

[beseolhyun]

❝ ——  it's beginning to look a lot like fighting 》 w/ @bexsua

the mall was starting to feel the christmas spirit. holiday music played on the speaker, stores had christmas trees, snowflakes, and reindeer everywhere. stores were packed, lines almost out the door, the early rush of holiday shoppers. seolhyun sighed. she wasn't against indulging herself, of course she wasn't, she only deserved the best. but she would much rather do the indulging online, from the comfort of her own couch. earlier today her father, practically kicked her out. he shoved his credit card into her hand, mumbling some excuse that she needs a new wardrobe for winter, but not to return until nightfall. she wasn't stupid, she knew he wanted alone time with her mother, his wife, but she didn't want to focus on that, and instead tries to enjoy the atmosphere of the mall.

she entered a store, a name she didn't pay attention too, but the jacket in the display window was just so cute. she looked around, trying to find the jacket, frustrated that the staff didn't even bother to greet her. rolling her eyes, she continued to walk deeper into the store. she scanned the various items of merchandise, feeling the fabric of certain items, 'feels cheap', she thought. she was just about to give up, the quality of the clothes weren't for her, and also the lack of staff trying to help her out was upsetting her. she was just about to make her way to the exit when she saw someone familiar. she laughed to herself, she remembers sua, she was regular at her job. she hasn't seen her in a while though, but it wouldn't hurt to say hi. she makes her way over. "sua! hey, how have you been?" she asks, smile plastered on her lips. "i haven't seen you in forever! have you been cheating on us?" she fakes a pout, she notices sua has a few items in her hand, and starts to frown. she makes a tsk sound, trying to grab the item from her hand. "are these for you? the clothes here are really cheap, and the staff here is horrible! i wouldn't waste your time."

#[ ✿ ] : bexsua #[ ✿ ] : it's beginning to look a lot like fighting

[bechaeyeon]

just a cigarette / closed for @bexsua !

some nights after wrapping up training chaeyeon likes to take a quick walk around the city. feeling the night air on her skin relaxes her, even if she’s not going out out. it’s a friday night & her face is rubbed pink by the october wind, and she’s starting to feel a little bit more like herself again.

she spots a smoking area nearby. really, she smells it before she sees it. it’s a nasty but nostalgic smell that beckons her over, despite her nearly two week long smoke free streak. chaeyeon sucks in a sharp, teeth chilling breath and decides that she’ll allow herself just one, just for tonight.

she wanders over and digs the half-crushed carton of cigarettes out of the depths of her tote bag. but… no lighter. chaeyeon looks up and around, weighing up her meagre options against each other to decide who she’s going to ask for a light, when she realises that there’s a familiar face amongst them.

“oh? sua? it’s chaeyeon,” she gives her a stunted wave, flipping her hair instead of extending to the full range of the movement. she’s familiar with her from a multitude of parties over the years — similar circles and all that. “i thought you quit?” she laughs, sliding a cigarette out even as she says it. “you got a light?”

#* thread. #bexsua #* just a cigarette. #smoking tw #* sua thread . 01 #hope this is ok!! i based it off one of your plotting prompts lolll

[bechaerin]

✦ * · ˚ @bexsua

myeongdong at this time of the year was absolutely beautiful and while chaerin wasn't catholic, she doesn't think it'll hurt to participate in the wish trees the church had put up. with sua by her side, she pondered for a moment before nudging the other to follow her.

"i'm not usually one to believe in these things, but i see no harm in attaching a wish onto one of these trees," she explained before letting out a soft chuckle. she picked up two of the wish papers that were laid out before handing one over to sua.

she marveled at the lights surrounding them before looking down at the paper. "i don't even know what i want to wish for," she admits as she gives the other a shrug. good health? a happy life? those all seem too general and grand. maybe she should go for something more specific. help with her graduation project? or maybe the diploma without doing the project.

"do you have anything you want to achieve next year?"

#bexsua #( * & : happy ending | threads. ) #be:xmasmarket2023