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unrestrainedbalderdash · 1 year

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You introduce the Riddlers to Cadbury's Egg'n'Spoon:

(I'm not really a writer so this won't be a masterpiece, but you know what is a masterpiece? Cadbury's Egg'n'Spoon. Also this isn't all of the Riddlers I love, this is just the ones I can think of things for)

Warnings: A mild amount of capitalism existential horror, and mourning that which we have lost

Arkham: "What? What is this? It is vastly inferior to the taste of I, the greatest criminal mastermind ever, although... I suppose it is slightly ingenious. What?! You say they are discontinued?! Well, I cannot have been wrong about the quality of this! They are all fools!" Edward says, angry that Cadbury's discontinued such a masterpiece. He goes and hacks Cadbury's supply chain and brings back Egg'n'Spoon. You hug him, incredibly happy. He pushes you away. "Pah! You are not worthy of me! Although... I do appreciate your appreciation for my magnificent deeds..." While you eat more egg, he uses the spoons to construct a robotic servant.

60s: He giggles, delighted. "What comes up white and comes down yellow and white?" he asks. "This isn't a Creme Egg," you respond, looking melancholy, "they weren't discontinued..." As a beautiful relic of the past of the Batman franchise, he understands your sadness about the passage of time, and eats it. He stims with joy at this delightful little snack. He now loves Egg'n'Spoon.

Lego: Oh no. He fell into the egg. There are two scenarios: if the delicious insides have not been eaten, then he is stuck in a delicious glue trap. If the insides have already been consumed, then he jumps around in the pit, crying for help. He tries to use his staff to hook onto the hole and climb out. His weight shifts the egg, and it falls over, trapping him. He is screaming. You lift the egg, and take him out. He looks shaken. While trapped in the egg, and hearing about how they were discontinued, he was hit by realisations, of capitalism, and obsolescence. Lego Riddler... weren't there other Lego Riddlers? Where... where did they go? Is he soon to be discontinued like the Egg'n'Spoon? Clearly no masterpiece is safe!

Zero Year: He is the one who put Lego inside the egg

BTAS: The eyes of his mask go egg shaped in delight. He is delighted to be presented with something so marvellous, and elegantly eats it. "These were discontinued? That will not do. I could help with the marketing and bring them back!" he says, looking adorable as always.

BTAA: He eats the Egg'n'Spoon, and demands more. You tell him they are discontinued. "Whaaaat?! Miss Tuesday, bring me more of these eggs!" he says, shocked that they are discontinued. Miss Tuesday rolls her eyes, and uses her contact in the Scarecrow gang to eventually procure the last remaining Egg'n'Spoons in the world.

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