#but basically i can't just say that he thinks they look hot and diesel even though they absolutely do

[eff-plays]

So now that I've figured out why Hira might go for Astarion ... I am now struggling to figure out why Astarion would go for them in the long run. Like, because he's barely his own person at this point, what are his preferences? Ya know? Beyond how they treat him, beyond the obvious, what about them is it that he likes? Ya know? "You were kind and patient and trusted me" is all well and good but that's still 1) related to him and 2) doesn't quite tap into the sense that he also wants them for himself for other reasons aside from wanting more of what they're doing for him. Ya know? Ya fucking know?

#bg3 #worsties to lovers #this isn't me complaining btw this is just my process #but it is kinda difficult in this case ngl #cuz the poor guy hasn't figured himself out yet #i headcanon him as like ... demi or graysexual so he wouldn't be immediately attracted to them #which he basically confirms in game that he's not so #but basically i can't just say that he thinks they look hot and diesel even though they absolutely do #i do have some ideas mind you #the fact that they're a bard and clearly in love with music and poetry and the arts #like in a genuine way #i think he finds that attractive cuz he envies it on some level #to love a part of the shitty world he lives in and thus make it slightly less shitty in the process #i think he also likes that they can make him feel things without like ... touching him or really doing anything *for* him specifically #like by just performing something with their whole heart they are able to evoke emotion #and it's not pretentious or forced like the poetry his victims would read at him #in my head i think their first genuine kiss is right after hira reads him one of their fave poems and it makes astarion feel so weird #that his only response is 'hmm. i should kiss them on the mouth i think' #and it absolutely obliterates the nice platonic vibe and hira leaves and astairon can't figure out why tf he just did that for #god they're so cringefail