#but im not gonna forget about it now; even if i stop drawing someday i'll forever hold on to these memories

[tianhai03]

hey everyone. im not here to post art right now, i just have something on my mind that i kinda wanna ramble about, which i’ll put under a read more below bc its really long lol. i know this is kinda sudden but i promise its nothing serious. stick around if you’re somehow interested in listening to my ramblings, if not then thank you for reading this anyway, and thanks for all your continuous support :)

i cant remember the reason why anymore, but a couple minutes ago i felt like going through all the blogs ive followed on here. i only follow like 276 blogs if i remember correctly, it’s not much considering how i’ve been here since 2015. i probably felt like looking through it because i was reminded of an artist i follow here and i wanted to see if they’ve updated anything, i have no clue lol.

anyways i looked through the list, and i found a lot of artists ive followed since my early days in 2015, when i first started posting art. some i still remember fondly, some i have vague memories of, and others... i just dont recognize anymore. the only thing im sure of is that they were all artists i looked up to very much, artists who have also definitely motivated me to keep drawing just so i can be as good as them someday. im confident enough to say that ive gotten close to a lot of their levels already, and i am now very comfortable with drawing in a style that is uniquely my own. i have all these artists to thank for that.

but... another thing ive also realized is, most of them arent posting anymore. some have already stopped before i myself stopped tumblr briefly in around 2019, but a lot of them stopped at that exact same year. it makes me kinda sad, i remember looking forward to these artists’ drawings often, but a lot of them just kinda dipped out of existence 3 years ago, without other social medias that i can check to make sure theyre still around. it made me think about how hellish every year has been starting from 2019, it mightve only been 3 years but it sure felt like its been a decade. all i can do right now is hope that they’re still okay, somewhere in the world, still safe and still doing whatever they love.

and on the same note, i hope every single person who is still following me, who still constantly come up to this crumbling website, maybe even look forward to me posting my art; i hope you guys are doing well too. i know there are a lot of people who were from my old 2018 dmc days (since i came back to the fandom just half a year ago and a lot of people started checking up on me again), some of you guys were probably even from my earliest 2016 undertale days; whether you followed me 6 years ago or just today, i want to thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, for always giving me kind support on the things i do. i am not joking when i said i wont be here right now if it werent for you guys. thank you so, so much.

#guess i just felt like getting sappy today. #im sorry if this makes anyone anxious; i promise i am totally okay and nothing bad is happening to me #it's just... sometimes you look back on your life to remember the things you've done that led to the life you have today #ive been doing that a lot lately. and i just wanted to talk about what ive thought about #i actually feel a lot better thinking about things like this. it reminds me of the reason why i started drawing in the first place #with how things have been lately especially with my own uni life; it gets so frustrating its very easy to forget why i liked drawing so much #but im not gonna forget about it now; even if i stop drawing someday i'll forever hold on to these memories #i probably sound like a broken record now but; genuinely; thanks for everything i really do appreciate it #allyrambles #long post #if youve read till here #through this long ass post ive been writing for over 30 minutes now #do me a favour and talk to a long time friend you have that you havent talked to in a while #yknow the ones. you were super close but then you just slowly stopped talking to each other? even though nothing bad happened? #do me a favour and just shoot them a message. a short one will do #even a little 'hey we havent talked in a while; just wanted to check up on you and make sure youre still okay' is enough #times are tough right now. it has been for the past 2 years for everyone #if you can do it; im sure it will brighten someone's day up; to know that theres someone out there who still cares #someone will appreciate the kindness #im gonna go now. this post has gotten way longer than i expected and its almost time for bed #i hope everyone has a decent day :) thanks again for reading #hopefully i dont regret this someday lol