#but matt cohen's john was also pretty clean cut and put together. suspiciously so. i want him to be hiding something

[angelsdean]

millie winchester tells john, “your father and i had this rule, never leave a fight without finding a way to say ‘i love you’” and how she regrets that their last fight before henry disappeared ended without an ‘i love you’ and all of that literally goes in one ear out the other. john fights with mary and then walks out leaving his four year old son to be the one to tell mary she’s still loved and that dean will never leave her. john fights with sam over stanford and then tells him if he walks out that door he should stay gone, and dean’s the one to eventually go back for him and bring sam back into the fold. john fights with dean and fights with dean and fights with dean and abandons him and hurts him and but dean won’t leave because despite it all dean still loves his dad and he doesn’t know how to leave people he cares about and he’s still desperate for any ounce of attention or affection. but john doesn’t apologize and he certainly doesn’t tell dean he’s loved

#fuck john winchester #literally i hope they DO show how he becomes the angry man he is because it DIDN'T start with mary's death #he was already angry and walking out on his family long before then #and i can even see it in him now. the way he's so stubborn the way he was so combative with millie and misplacing blame onto her #but i need to see More of it #how is he holding it together so well. he should be a wreck from the ptsd #but matt cohen's john was also pretty clean cut and put together. suspiciously so. i want him to be hiding something #spn prequel