#but slider was also thinking about how stupid you have to be to wear jeans to the beach

[calkale]

Okay because i put my thoughts in the tags the first time heres some of my spn au thoughts

Also disclaimer i am changing the supernatural story so dont get mad at me for not including things or changing things you like this is my house and i write the au <3

Characters: Dean -> Mav, Cas -> Ice, Sam -> Slider, John Winchester-> Duke Mitchell, Mary Winchester -> Slider’s mom (her name is also Mary in my Slider lore so), Bobby -> Viper, Ash -> Goose, Ellen -> Carole, Jo -> Bradley (he’s like a teen in this but don’t worry theres no Jo and Dean content 🤮 thats his godson) 

-slider and mav aren’t actually related, they were both 6 (mav older by a few months) when their parents got married, duke was a widower and mary was never married 

-Getting this out of the way although i love the chevy impala i am a truck freak so mav drives his dads black 1990 toyota sr5 with an extended cab 

Backstory: -viper and duke were both navy pilots now “hunting buddies”, they took mav and slider out hunting occasionally but whenever they went on long “hunting trips” they left slider and mav at home, that’s because these hunting trips were monster hunting trips

-the same thing that happens to sam and deans mom happens to mav and sliders mom but when they’re both around the age of 10, since they’re older and not stupid they have a lot of questions that duke can’t just bullshit answers to so he tells them about monsters and what he thinks took their mom (because he doesn’t actually know at this point)

-since they no longer have a house they stay at vipers or go on the road with duke 

-once they both start high school slider wants to stop hunting and stay with viper to focus on school, his relationship with duke gets weird after that because duke wants him to keep hunting to find what killed his mom but slider wants to do well in school to make his mom proud, they come to an agreement where slider stays with viper but once a month he has to come hunting

-slider leaves for university (idk what hes studying), mav graduates but stays with duke, he starts hunting on his own 

Now time: -This au starts in 2005 like the show

-duke picks up a lead on the thing that killed mary but is super vague about it when telling viper and doesn’t tell mav anything, he says he’ll be gone for a week but a week and a half later theres no word from him, viper refuses to go after him because “he’s gonna get himself killed” and “ive been telling him to let it go for years” but mav still has to go look for him

-mav finds slider and this basically carries out exactly how it does in the show, he agrees to help for one day, when he gets back his gf is dead, agrees to ditch school 😎 to come help look for duke

story wise thats all i've got so far, i want ice to come into the story a lot sooner than cas does in the show and i dont remember when ash, ellen and jo come in but i want them to come in sooner too. hopefully ill actually work on this more but i hope you guys enjoy

Character descriptions:

Mav: -has the classic dean necklace given to him by slider

-dresses basically the same as 86 movie mav but with flannel 😎

-does wear his cowboy boots but he’s normally wearing work boots

-eyebrow scar eyebrow scar eyebrow scar!!!

Slider: -wears his mother’s wedding ring on a necklace, duke gave it to him after she died

-dresses like early season sam, carhartt jacket, hoodies, tshirts and baggy jeans

-silver eyebrow piercing 😎

Ice: -exactly the same as cas but with a dark grey trench coat

-his eyes always glow a little, not enough that its noticeable unless its in the dark

-has a grey hoodie and black jeans for when he needs to look a little less “formal” 

Goose: -has a mullet its a key part of ash’s character so 

-just think mater from cars personified mixed with goose idk

Carole: -dresses exactly like ellen 

-her classic curly meg ryan hair stays tho

bradley: -just a mini goose

Duke and Viper: -they look pretty much the same, just some dad with a mustache and flannel

-only difference is duke always wears his wedding ring

#cals spn au #top gun

[nintendo-666]

killing time while I wait for my bf with a questionnaire I rememeber doing back in like middle school lol

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? My phone has been dead all day and therefore I cannot recall whom I have texted most recently. 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Ye me and Dylan still talk most days, he’s like my bff 3. Have you taken someones virginity? lol yeah. like too many times. idk I became sexually active really early in life so yeaaa. 4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yes actually. Which you wouldn’t expect because I overshare so much but ye. 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? The love of my life visits me for his lunch breaks every day that he’s working and I’m not so yeah I saw him a few hours ago c: 6. What are you excited for? Doing some more xtc and doing a d with my baby tonight. 7. What happened tonight? Nothing yet tonight, but last night I also rolled pretty hard and stayed up too late lel 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Fuck no. Let girls do whatever they want, let people live their lives, drinking is fun, stop being judgmental. 9. Is confidence cute? This is a very insecure and weird question to ask. I don’t think a person’s cuteness is defined by their like self esteem and social skills. 10. What is the last beverage you had? I’m drinking a fruit punch rn!! 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? I don’t have an opposite sex and I don’t trust a lot of people. 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? lol I only have one pair of pants that are not skinny jeans. 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? ooh that’s tonight! so yeah my night plans are the same, except now I’m also gonna check out kk slider on my new save file on acnl. 14. What are you going to spend money on next? electric bill lol 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I mean I’ve been growing up a lot lately so I’m hoping that’ll continue. 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? uhhh Gary, Dylan, or my Mum 18. The last time you felt broken? pretty much constantly tbqh 19. Have you had sex today? Ugh no I had multiple surgeries on my reproductive organs in the last two weeks so like I’m not supposed to have anything happening down there for some days or weeks still. tragic. 20. Are you starting to realize anything? That’s so 2016 21. Are you in a good mood? Yeah I suppose! 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? YES 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Nah. Somehow his eyes are brown and my penetratingly bright blues powered through them dominant genes. 24. What do you want right this second? Status report of my night lol 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? :^///// 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Nope, never again. 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Oh absolutely not 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? I cannot remember :o 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yeah dude I miss all my friends in different states and countries pretty badly. Mainly my Massachusetts bff Jamie and my dad. 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Not everyone. 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Lol yeah but I also love that lil shit 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yep! 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Oh god no way I drink it at every opportunity. I love soda. 34. Listening to? Bob’s Burgers is on in the background 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? I mean not really. 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Yeee 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. However sometimes you can immediately be attracted to someone, and you just so happen to also have very compatible personalities and this develop feelings for one another quite quickly. 38. Who did you last call? da boifwend 39. Who was the last person you danced with? Oh god I have no idea. #toocooltodance 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I’m in love with him and his lips make me happy. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Uuuuuhhhhhh whenever the superbowl was? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No :c I don’t see them like all the time these days. Which is a TRAVESTY. 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Oh constantly. I’m in an endless state of crippling embarrassment. And combine that with my very obvious social anxiety and mild clumsiness, I’m always doing things that are impossible to live down in front of people I very much like. 44. Do you tan in the nude? I do not tan under any circumstances. 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Hell no. 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? uhh yes and no. We basically talk until we decide we’re too tired, then quietly cuddle to sleep. 47. Who was the last person to call you? I haven’t the slightest. Probably my insurance or something boring like that. 48. Do you sing in the shower? Yeah dude I’m a superstar in there 49. Do you dance in the car? YEAH DUDE I’m a superstar in there 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Tragically, no. 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I have no idea. I do casual photoshoots with pro photographer friends kind of a lot. 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Fuck no I love musicals. 53. Is Christmas stressful? Only if you let it be. 54. Ever eat a pierogi? This question has always perplexed me. But yeah. Just the cheese and potato ones tho. 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? I mean like I want to say raspberry or strawberry, but they always end up too acidic. So I guess like apple, cause it’s always sweet and hard to fuck up. 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Astronaut, actor. 57. Do you believe in ghosts? It sucks like I can’t reasonably justify the belief with everything else that I think and feel, but the thought of ghosts is just so fun, you know? 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yeah it’s so weird I dun like it 59. Take a vitamin daily? Nope 60. Wear slippers? I don’t think I own any 61. Wear a bath robe? Sometimes Gary drapes his across me in the mornings if I get cold. 62. What do you wear to bed? naked when I’m with Gary, shirt and underwear while I’m alone. 63. First concert? I saw Say Anything with two of my friends in middle school!! 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target fosho but Wal-Mart for food and sometimes Kmart is best for clothes shockingly. 65. Nike or Adidas? I really don’t care 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos all day, Fritos are gross. 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts are way more fun 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Ugh 69. Ever take dance lessons? I did Irish Dance briefly as a small child. 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I want my spouse to do whatever makes them happiest. However I do sincerely want to be with Gary forever and I know he’s very good at his passion, which is recording and audio mixing and stuff for bands. Also his drumming skills are insane. 71. Can you curl your tongue? I’ve never met a human being who cannot and also it has nothing to do with kissing skills so who cares? 72. Ever won a spelling bee? UGH NO I came in like 3rd place because I had to pee really bad and I misheard the word. 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Mhmm 74. What is your favorite book? I really don’t like reading, man :/ I got a focus issue. It’s really sad actually. 75. Do you study better with or without music? I don’t studyyy 76. Regularly burn incense? Yeah c: 77. Ever been in love? Yeah, a few times. 78. Who would you like to see in concert? I just need to see Marilyn Manson again. 79. What was the last concert you saw? Marilyn Manson in Boston lol 80. Hot tea or cold tea? idk both are great, it really depends on the mood. 81. Tea or coffee? generally coffee for effectiveness, but tea for enjoyability. 82. Favorite type of cookie? I don’t too much care for cookies, but oatmeal raisin soft cookies are pretty tolerable. 83. Can you swim well? Yeah dude I grew up in Florida. 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? I actually really struggle with it lmao 85. Are you patient? Not at all man 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Ohhhh that’s a tough one. I feel like both would be cool. They’re just so vastly different, you know? 87. Ever won a contest? omg yeah recently I won a $600 Epiphone Les Paul Custom Pro from work for signing people up for the same prize in a sweepstakes. 88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nah but I’m not against it by any means. 89. Which are better black or green olives? Green olives can go and fuck themselves 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? lol it’s so stupid not to 91. Best room for a fireplace? idk I guess like a living room or something???? 92. Do you want to get married? Yeah tbh

[truemedian]

Kotaku Reacts To Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Screenshot: NintendoTwo weeks have passed since Animal Crossing: New Horizons came out, and almost everyone on the Kotaku staff has poured themselves into trying to make our new desert islands feel like home. It’s been...a process—full of blood, sweat, and a lot of broken axes—and we have some thoughts about it.Hopefully by now you’ve read fellow staff writer Ian Walker’s excellent review of the game, but in addition, we wanted to share the opinions, reactions, personal tribulations, and success stories of others on the staff as we survive Tom Nook’s fascinating new time share scheme together.

“My shitty house”—Maddy MyersScreenshot: Nintendo Maddy MyersI do not play simulation games. I spend no time at all on character creators. I’ve never played an Animal Crossing game before. And yet, Animal Crossing: New Horizons has become a game that I play almost every single day.I’m not sure if I’m even enjoying it. But I do know that it’s fulfilling a hyper-specific need for me right now. As an introverted person who already works from home, I don’t get a lot of social interaction in my daily life, outside of spending time with my equally introverted girlfriend. Before covid-19 happened, I would get a lot of low-impact socializing done in a typical week by chatting with the cashier at the grocery store, or making small talk with the other people at my gym. All of that is gone now.Instead, I make small talk with Timmy and Tommy. I discuss exercise with Flip, the jock monkey villager who lives in my Animal Crossing town. And, of course, I decorate my crappy Animal Crossing apartment and I invite my real-life friends over to (virtually) see it, and then I apologize to them, because it looks even worse than my actual real-life apartment. Animal Crossing allows me to perfectly recreate all the awkward but somehow fulfilling social interactions that I used to have when society still functioned.Will I keep logging in to Animal Crossing every day after the covid-19 pandemic has passed us over? Probably not. But until then, it’s given me a chance to see what it is that other people enjoy about this genre. It’s also made me realize that I need to seriously work on my interior decorating skills.

Ian WalkerI only own two pairs of jeans in real life, but I’m rapidly running out of room for all the clothes I buy in Animal Crossing. Here are some of my outfits:Mike FaheyOn the day Animal Crossing: New Horizons launched, the 512-gigabyte micro SD card in my Switch died. Four days later, after my wife had started playing, her Switch suddenly stopped charging. While trying to get her Switch to work, my system, purchased mere weeks before the game’s launch, stopped outputting video. As I normally play in TV mode, that’s not great. I have a Switch Lite, but I ran it over with my wheelchair and cracked the screen.Nintendo’s warranty repair is down, so I have to wait until the world returns to normal to get any of these consoles repaired. With Nintendo supply down, it’s nearly impossible to buy a new Switch right now. So my wife went on eBay and purchased a refurbished Switch tablet for $250. That’s how much fun we’re having bonding over Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

I can’t play when she can’t play. It’s just too sad. I feel bad sharing items I get, clothing I wear, and bugs I collect with her. For the several days we got to play together, by which I mean in the same room, it was much easier to forget pressing real-world concerns for a little while.We stayed up late to harvest bells. We got up early to see what occurred on our islands as we slept. The chores we must perform on our islands are much more entertaining than the ones we must perform in real life. They are still chores, but they pass the time and make us happy.Bklurbbbb...Natalie DegraffinriedI’ve spent 105 hours playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons over the span of a couple weeks. I suppose I kind of like Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Or my OCD is back with a vengeance. I keep going to celebrations for inclines and bridges even though I’m tired of them, so it’s probably the OCD.

I didn’t think I could take the fine art of min-maxing to higher heights, but here I am in an endless cycle of Nook tickets, tarantula grinding, and organizing my inventory by item valuation. It’s all to fund my Able Sisters shopping problem, ultimately. I look fly as hell, though.

Min-maxing in Animal Crossing is not for the faint of heart, nor is it always a great way to play. It might be even harder to do now that the seasons have changed. Will that stop me? No. I’ll keep getting upgrades and obsessively trying to pay them off in the same day. Do what gives you peace, I say.Just don’t be a fucking goober like my friend.

Riley MacLeodNew Horizons is my first Animal Crossing—our editor-in-chief Stephen talked the game up so much I got really curious about it. I only actually started playing this week, so everything feels very slow—when I get the itch to do something, I keep wanting to switch to Stardew Valley, but I’m really charmed by how happy the NPCs are when you do the simplest tasks and how often everyone claps for you. I also really like that your character runs around with their arms out. I put face paint on my guy and I can’t figure out how to get it off, so he just has face paint now I guess.

Ari NotisThe short version: This is the most annoying game I’ve ever played.And here’s how I really feel: At every turn, this stupid game presents a somehow brand-new hassle: how Blathers has to assess your fossils before you can donate them; how the Nook twins stop you to say thanks before you leave their shop, and how they say everything in not-quite-tandem (WTF is up with that); how you can only eat one fruit at a time; how your shovel is always breaking, your ax is always breaking, your net is always breaking; how two players can’t shop from the same person at the same time in co-op; how it’s impossible to dig a hole where you want; and how every damn day, that damn raccoon monster wastes my time to tell me there’s nothing new going on. I know there’s nothing new going on! This is Animal Crossing! Nothing new ever happens! This game is supposed to be an escape? Please. It’s at best a shoddy Xerox of life’s daily headaches.

Luke PlunkettEveryone says this is the game the world needs right now, but the last thing I need is a second mortgage hanging over my head. At least this one’s on the beach.Heather AlexandraI’ve never played an Animal Crossing game before now. In some ways, I missed out on many Nintendo games as my focus shifted off the Nintendo 64 in favor of the PlayStation and especially the modding scenes of PC games like Half-Life. When I needed a fix for homes away from home, I played Harvest Moon. That led to Stardew Valley and long hours on a co-op farm with a former partner. I enjoy the quiet of village sims and farming games. I also struggle to find the time for them.I haven’t taken the biggest plunge into ACNH. I had to focus on Nioh 2, then Doom Eternal, then Resident Evil 3. So 20-minute sojourns to my island every day were a rare and delicious treat. I can’t compare New Horizons to the others in the series, but I can say that it is an incredibly cozy game during a time when coziness seems rare. Sometimes, a good day means little more than some new wallpaper for your room. In other cases, it’s figuring out where to put that memorial statue you found. Animal Crossing is simple, but that simplicity is why you play it. Planting a new tree, inviting a new animal friend to your island. Small things that don’t feel small at all.Now, if only that freako rabbit would get off my island already...

Where every month is hoagie fest. Screenshot: Nintendo Ethan GachEvery night I shake all the trees, pick all the weeds, and smack objects with my axes until all of them break. In the morning I sell the stuff, and the cycle repeats. Conversations with other villagers scroll past as I smash the A button so I can get back to work. I buy everything I can from Tom Nook like I’m filling out a Sears Catalog Pokédex. I pay off all the loans thanks to the million bells I earned from New Horizons’ week-one infinite item glitch and subsequently invested in the Turnip market. I donate the wood and iron needed to build new homes for new residents. I capture new bugs and fish for the betterment of science. And all the while I wait like Vladimir and Estragon for an epiphany that will help contextualize each individual mundane task and help them culminate into a larger story I can derive some deeper sense of meaning and purpose from.Instead I’m left with a list of things that more closely resembles a CVS receipt. I suspect that’s a problem with me and not the game.Nathan GraysonFor the past week, I’ve been meaning to play through Doom Eternal and finally, properly dive into Control. Instead, I have mostly played Animal Crossing.I don’t really like it? I respect the relaxed pace it’s trying to establish, but by forcing players to step to its beat with fussy mechanics and NPCs who needlessly repeat themselves all the time, it’s managed to annoy me just as often as it’s lulled me into a state of balmy island bliss. Also, I’m bad at interior design, so right now my house looks like World of Warcraft’s Molten Core raid if Ragnaros was a disorganized college freshman who had no idea what to do with his dorm.Oh, and all my neighbors suck. In previous Animals Crossing (correct plural) , that didn’t matter so much, because I enjoyed doing little chores for them and feeling like I was creating a sense of community even among characters with whom I didn’t see eye to eye. In New Horizons, though, it’s all about land development, which feels less personal. I don’t want KK Slider to show up because I optimized my town. I want him to play some tunes for my villagers and me because he’s a chill, cool dude.All that said, this game has given me one of the coolest in-game moments I’ve experienced since we all got trapped inside our houses. I wrote about this at length in another piece, but the other night, DJ and streamer Clarke “Grimecraft” Nordhauser threw an in-game rave, and I attended. Surrounded by the avatars of people I did not know and dancing along with awkwardly improvised moves, I felt the same mixture of fear and exhilaration I’ve felt at countless shows in real life. After I shook my nerves (read: drank a glass of wine), it turned into a relaxing, nice time where everybody mostly talked about how good the music was and how much they appreciated the whole thing. Sometimes, a vacation can be 90 percent unpleasant, but then years later, all you remember is a soothing day on the beach or a perfect sunset. Animal Crossing has some really nice sunsets.

“Me and my partner hanging out last night in AC”—Paul TamayoScreenshot: Nintendo Paul Tamayo I’ve already talked about how Animal Crossing: New Horizons couldn’t have come at a better time, but the ways it’s helping me keep in touch with friends by sending gifts in-game, getting help from my podcast listeners, and hopping on calls to visit each other’s islands has taken this game to another level for me. It’s also giving me the space to put care into my own island like it’s my own adorable bonsai tree. I get to care for it and improve upon it in a million different ways. My partner actually made the beautiful observation yesterday that even after island hopping through our friends’ islands, it really does feel good to return home to your own space. Read More Read the full article

[fantasyhorrorandotherthings]

Teaser for ‘File 75′

2 

Zara

New York, 2020

3–2–1

The camera started recording.

‘Hey, guys, welcome back to my channel.’ Zara Mathews stood in front of her kitchen bench wearing a pink sleeveless crop top and black stretch pants. The arctic white walls of her apartment and the lack of clutter would serve as ascetically pleasing to the potential thousands of people, perhaps a million if she were lucky, who would see her video. ‘Today, I’m going be making a pitaya smoothie bowl. If you don’t know what pitaya is, it’s basically dragon fruit that can be ground up into a fine pink powder. You’ve probably seen it all over Instagram,’ she laughed. ‘I feel like it’s a good alternative to an acai bowl. So, for this smoothie, I’m just going to be using the usual stuff—coconut milk, frozen banana and, of course, my favourite fruit and nut mix as a topping. So, let’s get started.’

She undid the blender.

‘Hey, babe.’

His dirty breath hit her neck. The smell of unwashed skin tormented her nostrils.

‘Up already, huh,’ she said as she gazed at the blender’s blades.

‘What are you up to?’ he asked gruffly as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

‘I’m trying to make a video,’ she sighed.

He kissed her neck. His lips against her skin were like a slimy tongue.

‘Another smoothie video?’ he said mockingly. ‘What was that grey one you made yesterday? Butterfly piss?’

She rolled her eyes.

‘Butterfly pea,’ she said as she poured frozen banana chunks into the blender. ‘P–e–a.’

She pushed away from him, causing him to smirk.

‘Babe, why do you got to be doing this now? he asked. ‘It’s so early.’

‘It’s nine,’ She frowned at him.

‘Exactly, it’s Saturday. What do you have to wake up so fricken early for?’

‘It’s better for your body to wake up at the same time every day.’

‘I think that’s just some bullshit you read on Pinterest,’ he said as he went over to the fridge and grabbed a slice of pizza from the previous night when the game was on.

She glared at him as his yellow teeth ripped into the crust and observed his unwashed brown hair, the dark purple bags under his eyes, the thick stubble on his neck and on his double chin, his flaky lips, the bits of breadcrumbs and sauce stains around his mouth, and the careless way he left his robe undone. She had curly black hair, creamy brown eyes and soft, dark skin that she always moisturised and exfoliated. She didn’t think that Brock even knew what exfoliating was. She went to the gym three or four times a week and Pilates once a week. Zara took pride in her appearance, so she wondered how she ended up with this.

‘Listen, are you coming tonight?’ she asked irritably.  

‘What’s tonight?’

‘Jay’s birthday.’

‘Who?’

‘My brother?’

‘Oh yeah, that guy.’

She swore under her breath.

Around six in the evening, she found her family standing outside a burger grill. She smiled as soon as she saw them. Zara seldom ate burgers and deep-fried food, but as her mother had explained, this place sold healthy burgers, not to mention sweet potato fries.

Her mother, Deborah Mathews, a secretary at a middle school, wore a black jacket over a purple top with a gold chain necklace. She had straight black hair that she liked to keep short, a round face and the same brown eyes as Zara. She had a short, plump structure, while her husband, Jacob Mathews, a high school biology teacher, had a tall, thin build. He had dark eyes, shaved black hair, and wore a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. The two of them had been married for almost twenty-six years and had raised their children in a flat in the Bronx, where they still lived.

Their son, Jay Mathews, a freelance fitness apparel designer, was wearing a pink T-shirt with blue denim jeans. He also stood tall with his head shaved but wore some light stubble and had the same eyes as his mother and sister. Next to him, standing slightly shorter, was his girlfriend, Courtney Blake, a personal trainer, who had shoulder-length brown hair and wore a blue top tucked into black denim jeans. The two of them had been dating for around two years, and although she didn’t see them much, Zara thought they were cute together and were what Zara’s co-workers would have described as ‘hashtag couple goals’.

‘Hey.’

They all turned around and their faces lit up as they simultaneously greeted her.

‘Happy birthday,’ she said as she went to hug her brother.

‘Aw, thanks,’ he said. ‘I haven’t seen you in ages.’

She noticed that her mother looked confused.

‘Where’s Brock?’

‘He couldn’t make it,’ she said. He was at home playing video games, but instead she told them, ‘He has work.’

Her mother frowned.

‘Should we go inside now?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, sure,’ Jay nodded.

They all walked into the restaurant, which looked more like an art studio with its wooden yet colourful interior. They found a large booth at the back with red padded seats and a pop art painting on the wall.

‘So, how are things in New Jersey?’ Zara asked once they had all taken a seat.

‘Ah, good,’ Jay nodded. ‘Well, actually, we have to something tell you.’  

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, feeling a little nervous.

‘We’re engaged!’ they both said at the same time.

‘What! You’re getting married?’

They both nodded.

‘Oh, God, congratulations,’ she said, a little taken aback by the news. She remembered when they were children, they would ride their bikes around with their neighbour Randy Barton, along with his older sister, Billie. When they were a little older, the four of them would head down to the basketball court where Randy would practice shooting hoops while the other three would sit on the side lines and play Beyoncé on loudspeakers, infuriating the old people in the neighbourhood. And now her little brother was getting married? She wanted to be happy for them, but all she could think about was Brock sitting on his ass on the couch as he ripped apart a zombie on the PlayStation.

‘And that’s not all,’ he said. ‘We’re also having a baby.’

‘No way!’

It only seemed like yesterday when Jay was a baby.

‘That’s just … wonderful. I’m so happy for you. Now I have so many questions. When’s the wedding? When’s the due date?’

‘Well, we haven’t really set a date for the wedding,’ said Courtney. ‘But the baby’s due in January.’

‘Wow, that’s just …’ She turned to face her parents. ‘Did you know this?’

‘Yeah, we already knew.’ Her mother laughed.

‘Imagine if the kid comes early at Christmas,’ her father joked.

‘Yeah, things have been pretty hectic for us lately,’ said Courtney. ‘But what about you, Zara? How is your YouTube channel going?’

‘It’s going well,’ she said. ‘I’m up to nine thousand subscribers.’

‘Oh, wow. Getting there. You’ll be considered an influencer soon.’

‘Yeah, but I’m running out of ideas, though,’ she said. ‘Recently, they all seem to be about smoothies.’

‘Maybe you could do one of those decluttering videos,’ Courtney suggested.

‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘I’m not sure if there’s much to declutter, apart from Brock’s video game console.’

And Brock himself.

For dinner, everyone got sliders and sweet potato fries. As Zara was vegan, she ordered herself some avocado sliders. After everyone had finished, she got out her phone and took a selfie with Tray.

‘One for the gram,’ she laughed.

She hugged him tightly as the timer went down.

3–2–1

She then took another one with all five of them.

‘We should do this again soon,’ said Zara.

‘Definitely,’ said Jay.

‘And listen, next time Brock’s coming,’ Courtney smiled.

She scoffed. ‘I’ll try my best.’

As Jay and Courtney parted ways, Debbie pulled Zara to the side. She noticed the apprehensive look on her mother’s face.

‘Zara,’ she said softly. ‘Is everything okay with you and Brock?’

That had caught her off guard.

‘It’s … fine.’

‘Zara,’ her mother sighed.

‘He’s just … You don’t like him, do you?’

‘No, I don’t,’ Debbie said bluntly. ‘I never have. You said that he’s at work, but I didn’t even know he had a job.’

‘Well, he … he doesn’t,’ she sighed. ‘It was just easier to say that, instead of telling everyone that he’s on the PlayStation.’

Debbie shook her head in disgust.

‘Zara, he’s thirty years old and he’s playing video games,’ she said. ‘You’re such polar opposites.’

‘Well, what’s that old saying, opposites ...’

Her mother continued to frown.

‘Okay, look, maybe things are not going great, but—’

‘Zara, you’re putting all of this hard work in, and he’s just mooching off you,’ she said. ‘Now, I’m not saying that you need my approval, but I don’t think he makes you happy.’

She couldn’t argue with that.

When she arrived back at her apartment block, she looked up at the ninth floor of ten. She knew which window to look at. It was Apartment Number 5. She remembered falling in love with the place the first time she stepped foot in it. The white walls and wooden floors were the stuff of her Pinterest vision boards. Then she found herself thinking about what was in that apartment. A boring boyfriend who never wanted to do anything.

The very first thing I see, every morning, is his stupid face with bits of food on the corners of his mouth and his drool sliding on to the pillows that I bought.

Zara unlocked the door and switched the lights on as she walked in.

‘Brock?’

She thought that he would have been playing video games in the living room but he wasn’t. She went into her bedroom, thinking he was in there, and he was, but her heart skipped a beat when she realised that he wasn’t alone.

‘Who are you!’

She had a pig-like face, bloodshot blue eyes and wisps of dyed hair which had obviously been an unsuccessful DIY job. She wasn’t wearing any pants, not even any underwear. She only wore a dirty tank top that smelled of greasy food.

She looked at Brock, who was sitting in bed in one of his usual stained singlets.

‘What the hell is going on here?’

Surely, it can’t be what I think. It must be a misunderstanding. He would never cheat on me ... he’s too fucking lazy to cheat.

‘Oh, Zara ... I wasn’t expecting you home so soon,’ he said.

Zara thought he seemed suspiciously unsurprised.  

‘Brock, who is this?’

‘This is Tessa,’ he said as he climbed out to reveal himself. Zara winced at the sight of it.

‘I’m his girlfriend,’ Tessa said as she chewed on some gum.

‘Wait, what?’ Zara shook her head in disbelief.

‘I’m sorry, Zara, but it’s over.’

‘What do you mean it’s over? Is this some sick joke?’

‘Look, Zara, we did have something going on, alright, but then you started acting all weird,’ he said. ‘You started waking up at five-thirty in the morning, not eating meat and doing yoga or whatever, and then you started talking about it on the Internet.’

‘I was trying to improve myself,’ she said defensively. ‘I wanted both of us to improve.’

‘He didn’t need no improvement.’ Tessa placed her hands on her hips and leaned her torso and neck forward like a chicken as she spoke. ‘He don’t need no insta-hoe to rule his life!’

‘Insta-hoe? What? Get the fuck out of my apartment, both of you!’  

‘Um, honey, it’s his apartment,’ said Tessa. ‘You pack up your things and move in back with ya mama.’

‘Listen, you piece of trash, this is my apartment,’ she snapped. ‘My family helped me buy it. I decorated it. I maintained it. I cleaned up after him every night. He had hardly any interest in choosing the right place for us to live. I had to do all the decision-making, while he just strolled along behind me, hoping to get out of his mum’s place. Well, you can both go back to his mama. I’m sure you’ll all be really fucking happy together in that tiny apartment.’

‘We better go, Tessa,’ said Brock as he picked up his underwear from the floor. ‘Before Zara fucking kills us.’

She turned her back to them while they got dressed. Her mouth went dry and her eyes filled up with tears.

How could I have been so stupid? It was so obvious to everyone else that things were not working out. Why didn’t I just admit that to myself and end it on my terms?

‘I’ll come back for my stuff later,’ he said awkwardly.

‘No, I’ll send it to you,’ she said bitterly. ‘I never want to see you in this apartment again.’

He pulled up his zipper.

‘Let’s go,’ he sighed.

‘That’s right, bitch,’ Tessa said proudly as she and Brock exited the apartment. ‘He’s my man now.’

Zara almost grabbed her by the neck, but she managed to restrain herself and simply said, ‘You can have him, you ugly little troll.’

#writerblr #gothic Horror #supernatural horror

[69annebowlin69]

5-6/8/19 Watching True Detective Episode Eight Finale

5/8/19

16.53

I can’t work on anything else so i’m writing this up now to salvage this afternoon. Not up for cops and pseudo-philosophy.

One night the summer we all started taking pills, we were at my dad’s house after a party, i can’t remember where my dad was, but Adam said something about how with the Picasso and Kandinsky prints on the wall, it was like a pseudo-intellectual’s house, and because i didn’t know properly what pseudo meant or had such low opinion of my family and i, i took it as a compliment, that at least we were grasping to look like something more than we were. I hate this memory. Why couldn’t i defend myself. I would defend it now. Adam’s family had a fucking New Yorker cover print framed on their wall.

16.58

Hays’ jeans are too tight; his dialogue with Hoyt is a Previously On with the eery music. It hasn’t started raining outside yet.

16.59

This mf Hoyt literally dragged Hays from his house to walk through the Ozarks swigging bourbon and sobbing about the myth of the ideal family. I hate this show. Masculine posturing bullshit, but like a parody of the machismo that people mock online. As previously mentioned, i’m not one to shy away from the Big Opinion. This season more trash than season 2.

17.07

Damn dude sometimes you gotta burn your suit at 3 in the morning, give him a break.

17.18

I had to get the torch out myself the other night. One of the giant snails disappeared. Best friend and i looked high and

17.36

Sorry, the last entry wasn’t even worth finishing, and i had to go to the toilet to scroll the 40 pictures i took of passages from books over the past year. Some of them i couldn't even remember what they were, too much Tao Lin from before i read Richard Yates and saw how problematic he was; a lot of Liveblog, maybe my fav book ever.

17.38

What i look like, a snapshot:

the cheap sports direct adidas striped sliders with nike tube socks (white)

Black chino shorts (dirty, the only proper pair of shorts i own)

T-shirt of the keith haring statue of liberty print (too hack to wear in NYC; Eve’s mum got me it)

Hair “half-up” like Eve’s

Monobrow stubble at the top of my nose that i haven’t excised in a couple of days

Beard just about too long

jaw clenched

stomach gross

My legs are so bulbous, like why was i born with such ridiculous protruding legs. Not muscly, hefty. Very gross. Gross.

17.43

All i’ll eat tonight is a peanut butter and banana sandwich and an apple. Sorry, i have to try again with other Personal Projects. I don’t want to watch this show. i can’t watch this show right now. I’m no insider but there is maybe six per cent of a chance that HBO run it back for a fourth.

***

6/8/19

20.25

Emmy said she wouldn’t be impressed if i were to get in to a fight. I laid out a whole hypothetical where someone gets thrown out the bar where we work and is needling me the whole time. I take off outside after him and we get in to it, but it’s outside work premises. Asked her A) if she thought i was meek, B) would she understand if i threw fists in that instance and C) would i get fired. She wouldn’t be impressed and thought it was the bigger thing to do to let it slide. Also the police would get involved which would effect the work thing.

Pete’s been in fights. People are always getting in fights in the past. I’ve never seen anyone i know who’s been in a fight when they were actually fighting. The fights in True Detective are all in the past. Emmy said she doesn’t think i’m meek.

20.28

Mr Scotland (Peter Mullan) also does a show set in the Ozarks and what i think is that his southern accent was so bad that it had to be edited in post production. During his dialogue, the camera cuts to a reaction shot from his equally sociopathic wife or the Arrested Development guy, which is wildly disrespectful to a man who was trying to play an abusive maniacal southern drug kingpin instead of the usual abusive maniacal alcoholic Scottish criminal. This is what happens when someone tries to branch out and why so many people are scared of failure. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about rival crime shows set in the Ozarks. We’ve got a child sex ring to uncover and Dorff heat to savour.

20.30

Would be nice to have the honesty in a relationship where you can tell one another you should probably give up on a central arterial line of your life and move elsewhere. Emmy and i tell one another something like ‘you should quit’ all the time but neither of us really believe the other when they say they will. I don’t believe her when she says I love you during sex. It feels like a placeholder for real-life emotions or intensity that she’s still waiting to feel.

20.32

Quality of office lighting: strip lights, squares placed amongst the cardboard tiles, headache grain, staticky, unnervingly silent, revealing, bags under eyes, shadowy somehow, depersonalising, unaltering.

Quality of school lights from Euphoria: suplhate glare, neon, alienating and spooky but in a fun way?, fireworks! makes you say ‘it’s like a club in here,’ glitchy, Fireworks!, transformative.

20.36

Roland in the afterglow of starting a mass bar brawl then getting emotional over a mongrel, sipping straight Jack. Damn, to have memories like that. Roland didn’t have a gf telling him it wouldn’t be impressive or cool getting into brawls.

20.38

Like how they announce Man of the Match before the Match is even over (seems presumptive), i’ll be announcing my top crushes from this season VERY shortly.

20.39

Yup, not long to go until my number one crush from this True Detective Season is announced, as well as numbers two, three and probably four and five. It’s been markedly less horny than previous seasons, so we’re including different iterations of the same characters. It’s dry out here in the 80s.

22.02

There are noises in our living room, not like threatening banging or whatever, but people. There are friends in our living room. Not that we’re here to talk about popular 90s NBC sitcoms.

23.35

Everyone is here in our flat again tonight these snails have made us so popular.

Lucy put Mr Rightside on her arm.

Mil cast Bad Medicine to the TV and Jane suggested Van Halen.

Damon put on Carlyle Williams and Mil decided he couldn't apply for a Montreal visa until he found out what Sarah wanted.

Best friend and Jane cast Cold in my Veins. Mil got sad and started rallying for the TV to be turned off.

Best friend and Jane cast a Big Train sketch where Chairman Mao is dying and then the flatlining heart monitor turns into the opening riff of Virginia Plain and Chairman Mao recovers to sing.

Best friend cast the shooting stars where Vic and Bob do Virginia Plain and we listed the most recent instances we could remember of celebrity blackface.

I text Emmy if she wanted to work together tomorrow instead of taking the mushroom pills.

I feigned interest in a story about a kayak Jane told because i think she’s cool and want her to like me.

Lucy and Damon were lame when they left. Lameon lol.

Best friend turned off the tv and he and Jane went for a tab. Mil talked about Sarah.

Jane said she could get acid for Lucy but not this weekend and left.

Steve came in to ask if he could shut the door and I left to watch this episode.

00.07

This one-eyed mf talking like it’s Wuthering Heights and he’s [whoever the Irish housekeeper is who does most of the first half’s narration]. Recalling some vague terrible accident that blighted a rich-ass family, that should have zero impact on his one-eyed ass.

00.10

His story is very Woman in Black. Would love a Pizzolato reading list from this season. Friend of the blog Nick Pizzolato, please send me your reading list and influences.

00.12

It’s always too late. No matter what we do. Damn. That’s some extremely defeatist shit. Old people, you think they all feel this way. A cop out. These detective shows, i want meaning from them. Structure. Some kind of organisation that i can understand and trace, not this.

00.21

Roland and Hays hanging out, staying over at one another’s house. Can’t wait to be old, hanging out just me and the boys. Like how homes have a similar vibe to halls, just at the point on the back end of your life, symmetrical to the front. Just playing old Final Fantasies, absolutely on pills. Distracted during family visits because i have more gaming to do and a year left at most. Sounds reassuring. The long term doesn’t matter, so you do only the things that produce instant gratification.

00.32

Googled “what’s the word for when one thing is the same on one side as it is on the other’ lol then i cried at this stupid show. Mahershala Ali transcends this dumbass show and it’s writing and is  doing something complex and satisfying and sad. Pulling together what he can of this jumble that sometimes makes sense and most of the time is not worthy of us trying to make sense of it.

00.42

Ok, here it is. True Detective season three Crush List:

5. Me all the days i wrote this and didn’t throw up whatever i’d just eaten. Very proud and horny for u, my boy

4. 1990 Roland with the rockabilly blazer

3. Hays in the tight acid wash jeans

2. Amelia’s dulcet monotone transcends being annoying around the middle of the season and turns alluring, like i need to hear it for thirty per cent each episode. It’s pretentious but in a way that makes you wish you were pretentious

1a. Hays burning his clothes in the dead of night. Mysterious. Jacked. Sweating as hell. Haunted.

1b. Everyone who checked out during the front end of this season - intelligence is a quality that personally makes me very horny and they displayed plenty of it by forseeing that this season would be a less exciting mess than last. Would love for them to contact me to just like hang out and watch a different show, if they want.