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dishonoredrpg · 4 years

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Congratulations, PAYTON! You’ve been accepted for the role of THE TOWER with the faceclaim of RODRIGO SANTORO. What poetry could I write about Feivel? He is, at his core, a worldly man, has seen much, knows plenty, and still finds himself entrapped in a world which he feels he cannot possibly belong to. There is such a human quality to him in the way he shifts and turns just to keep himself alive; your concept with the mirror was especially fascinating -- he has a charm to him, but is it a charm that he’ll be able to stomach later on down the line? I also vastly appreciate your willingness to step out of the box and explore a character you’re not as familiar with; I can really see your affection for him here, and I’m excited to see what you bring to us with him!

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NAME: Payton or Paypay

PRONOUNS: She/her/hers

AGE: 27

TIMEZONE, ACTIVITY LEVEL: My timezone is GMT-7. I anticipate being active on the dash (as in posting starters/writing responses) typically between 4-6 days a week, with 4 being more typical. Writing is a pretty big component of my self-care and allows me a creative outlet to use some of my energy, so I will be on frequently.

ANYTHING ELSE?: I know this is a second application picked from a small handful of skeletons that still remained, but I wouldn’t be applying for another skeleton if I wasn’t just as excited and dedicated to what I could bring to the group with this skeleton as I was with my first application. At first I was pretty bummed and told myself if I couldn’t get back into a very excited state I would just kind of let it be, but the more I worked on this application the more excited I got about the skeleton and the character I was building out from it.

IN CHARACTER

SKELETON: The Tower

NAME: Feivel Asturias

FACECLAIM: Rodrigo Santoro, Chris Hemsworth, Joel Kinnaman

AGE: 42

DETAILS: What about this character interested you? Who are they to you? This can be as long or short as you want it to be, in whatever format you prefer.

I suggested this to you during our conversation during which you gave me feedback for my previous application, but The Tower’s skeleton is a big old jump away from characters I’m used to playing. Out of the skeleton’s that were left, I found The Tower’s to be quite compelling and likely the most challenging role to play for me. But I like challenges! Challenging is fun. I think in terms of my own development as a writer, playing a character that feels like such a departure from what I’m used to is a great way to stretch my creative muscles and really push myself to think deeper into the choices I’m making for my character.

Another component I like about The Tower is their history as an explorer. I would like to see story-telling be a strong component of their characterization because they have so many lived experiences. Given the setting, it’s likely he would be one of the most if not the most well-travelled roles in the group. His lived experiences would take him to the ends of the earth that his contemporaries only dreamed of, and I imagine he would be all too eager to recount the stories of his youth (only slightly editorialized… okay, fine, with some pretty significant embellishments). I imagine his life has led him to present as rough around the edges, as a survival tactic, as a leadership strategy, and as a mode of self-preservation… but when he gets to talking, when someone really gets him in his lane of story-telling he takes on an air of slight warmth and overwhelming nostalgia. He also absolutely adores young people, which is discussed a little further elsewhere in the application (one of the plot points if I’m not mistaken).

I am also very interested in toying around with his current role as an antiquarian--because who doesn’t want to make up a whole bunch of mythical items and historical artifacts and lore? I feel like not only would I be able to use him as a method to contribute to the general story line, but it would be a great way to explore some world building within the parameters you’ve set for the group.

I also think that the skeleton suggests that The Tower would be willing to take some risks, which would be interesting to play out. The fact that they were willing to play dumb in front of the king until it was clear playing dumb meant certain death, they take a chance: they try to bargain for their life, and it works. As an unofficial advisor, they view their stakes as being slightly less high than someone officially in the post, so they take risks: they combine a healthy amount of tact with speaking their mind. They see a monarch unhappy in her marriage and desperate for release, so they take a risk: they stand a little too close, brush the back of their hand against hers as they pass in the hallway, and find themselves in a full blown affair. I think taking risks would be an inevitable character trait of The Tower, who likely feels lonely for adventure and too big for their body now that they find themselves land-locked.

The actual card of The Tower also relates strongly to the history I imagine for Feivel and what I would assume could be a turbulent future given his affair with the queen and potential shifting alignments. I see “Tower upright: Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening” relating to his arrival in Tyrholm and the killing of his men and consequential end to his way of life/loss of freedom. “Tower reversed: Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster” makes me think of his need to navigate the court and avoid what could be certain disaster if the affair with the queen became known to the wrong people as well as his perceived need to tiptoe around The Sun.

Something of interest to me regarding the typical depiction of this card is the image of the card itself. One website’s information on the card stated: “A stone tower is struck with lighting and lit in flames, two people jump from the tower presumably to their deaths. An image of chaos and destruction is painted.This lightning/subsequent fire enters in through the top of the tower and knocks off the crown. The people jumping accept that they do not know what awaits them when they fall - but it is certainly better than burning in the rubble of the tower.” I find this really compelling because I think that if Feivel was present for the event Mini wrote for Kithri’s para sample (and Mini makes that headcanon) or if Feivel sees or perceives Septimus mistreats his wife or perceives King Septimus as cruel in other ways it would be relatively easy to radicalize Feivel. Feivel knows he’s coming in hot on his expiration date, and even if he isn’t on the brink of death and he’s just feeling a little run down, I think he would really struggle to accept a land-locked existence where he’s essentially prisoner in Castle Tyrholm, and might, as the card depicts, run headlong into certain doom rather than accept the alternative if he found a cause worth self-destructing for.

BACKGROUND:

You are born on high seas, the ocean so ingrained in your identity that you could scarcely tell the difference between the waves of a storm battering your ship and the untamed beating of your own heart. Your childhood is composed of tangled memories of stern looks, rope burn, aching muscles, calluses, stolen goods, and the sound of splintering wood. The smell of gunpowder from the cannons found a permanent home in your nostrils and you lived with a constant sensation of breathlessness between the battles and seascapes that colored your days. Your early years are like the ocean itself; ever-moving, unforgiving, and constantly threatening to pull you under in its cruelty if you so much as dare to be still for even a moment.

As you enter your teenage years, the treatment you receive only becomes harsher. You are no longer only responsible for chores around the deck, but you are brought into roles of responsibility where a misstep can be the difference between life and death of a crew member. You participate in your first ambush, and it terrifies you how easy it is to drive a blade into another body and how hard it feels to draw it back out. But letting that deter you is not an option. The stakes are high, and the sting of every slap and lashing’s meaning is two-fold. Corporal punishment is a daily reality of your life, the best way a motley crew of pirates knows how to instill discipline. And beyond discipline, you know you’re the next in line for leadership and as a leader you must be unyielding. Your father is preparing you, and the way you see it the crack of his leather strap against your back is the only way he knows how to say he loves you.

You are seventeen when you inherit your father’s ship, his death a sudden and brutal blight that stains a corner of your mind you avoid with vermillion and a mix of pain and resentment. Your mother died long before, when you were no older than six or seven. The closest thing you have to any memory of her face is the memory of her running her fingers through your hair to soothe you to sleep. every time the sea breeze rustles through your hair it evokes her memory. You keep it long and unkempt for that reason alone, though if anyone asks it’s a matter of convenience. It is unbecoming of a captain to display such vulnerabilities as sentiment and weakness—or at least that’s what your father before you conditions you to believe. You quickly realize you see leadership fundamentally differently than your father. Where he asserted authority by means of dominance and violence, your approach values brotherhood.

You find yourself establishing a Brotherhood of Asturias. You name your clan in honor of your ship. Later in your life, you will name yourself in honor of your clan—not as a badge of honor, but as a reminder of your shame. No one would accuse your clan of reformation. To anyone outside of your fold, you’re just as ruthless as your father. You’d still burn the world to the ground for the promise of glory when the flames died down. But within your kinship, you develop a sort of honor code. Your commandments are as such: honor those who honor you, betray no other lest your life be on the line, help the needy if it helps yourself, to kill an innocent is the most mortal of sins, and you shall not advance yourself at the harm of others. Your reputation does shift, but only slightly. Rather than pillagers and barbarians, you are seen as a ruthless treasure hunter.

For the next fifteen years, your reputation precedes you. You travel to the ends of the earth in search of the relics of the old gods and to reclaim the wonders of the world. It isn’t easy work, but the payoff makes it worth it. You accumulate wealth with nowhere to spend it, but the sense of power of merely possessing the rarities and finery you have is enough. And you love the camaraderie and catharsis. By your mid-thirties, you are grizzled and scarred. Your body aches from the strain of your journeys, but your mind is somehow light under the sheer weight of the stories you have to tell. Your life is spent fast, but if anybody asks it is spent well.

Finally, aware of your limitations and content with your life of misdeeds, you select your successor and one final mission. You view it as a training exercise to cement your decision: both to lay down your arms once and for all and that you’ve chosen the best and brightest to take your place. You set sail to the remote island of Calamity in search of an item of lore, so simple that the common man would pass it over without a second glance: the Mirror of Ouroboros. The mirror is a small, handheld curio of impossible value. The reflector itself is a small, obsidian mirror that upon first consideration seems harmless if not impractical. However, upon looking in the mirror its magical virtue presents itself by revealing three truths about the user, each of them as destructive as the next if the user is without fortitude of mind. You recover the mirror with little consequence along the way, and you are reassured that your decision making was sound. You are resolved to your fate and wary from travel, you drift off to sleep easily after your final ransacking.

You are dragged from your bed by a pair of hands as cold and harsh as death itself. The mere touch is enough to pull the breath from your lungs. You don’t recognize her at first, but The Sun will haunt your nightmares for the next several years, and in a much more present way haunt your days as well. You are thrown before the king, your crew not far behind. But it is toward you who the king directs his ire. He demands the mirror, and you bite back at his entitlement. You tell him you don’t have any such item, and he knows you are lying. You tell him the mirror is no creation of his god, the Undying One, and as a result it shouldn’t be any interest of his. It’s the wrong answer. You realize it’s the wrong answer when you hear a squelch from behind you, and the sound of a body drop to the floor. The groaning is easily recognizable as your second in command, slaughtered as result of your folly before they even had their real chance to carry on your legacy. The world mutes, but you’ve seen this scene before. There is nothing but a loud ringing in your ears, but you know The Sun is working down the line of your men behind you.

Your hands shake as you pull the mirror from your breast pocket, and you consider looking into it. Surely the madness is a better fate to resign yourself to than to live with your indirect responsibility for your brotherhood’s death. For another moment, you consider allowing the king to look into it, to exact your revenge without needing to so much as lift a finger. Instead, you slide the mirror across the floor, still safely contained in its cloth shroud. You hear your voice warning the king of the mirror’s power, that with patience and research it could be the key to turning his kingdom into an empire. You tell him that more relics exist across the span of the globe, some of them here on the continent of Markholm. You’re bargaining for your life, despite the fact that according to your very own honor code you no longer deserve it.

For some reason, the king lets you stay. You know this is more a strategic move on Septimus’ part than an act of mercy. You are hardly a free man. You yourself know that not all prisons have bars. Yours doesn’t, but you’re locked in a cage all the same. Your wild heart rails against your fate at first, but your tired body cannot keep up. You slowly resign yourself to your circumstances. You spend your day lamenting and licking wounds for months, giving Septimus advice through gritted teeth and refusing to recognize kindness from anyone around you. You are like a cornered dog, but you damn well know better than to bite the hand that feeds.

Slowly, the dagger in your heart loosens and you move through the stages of mourning your freedom, your crew, and your former life. This doesn’t mean that your life in Tyrholm is easy, but you start to recognize areas of comfort. The Empress shows you a modicum of kindness, and you cling to it. The way you see it, the pair of you mean little more to each other than a pair of warm bodies at first, but it’s a momentary distraction the both of you welcome. The way your rough, calloused hands catch on the silk she seems herself to be spun from reminds you of your place, it stops you from being careless enough to leave fingerprints. You stop yourself from getting emotionally attached--no one ever accuses you of being a wise man, but you know better than to shit where you eat. The Moon gravitates in the perimeter of your attention, and you wonder what she wants from you, though she never seems to ask for much. The Sun also exists within your gravitational pull, though you wish she wouldn’t. You have nothing but enmity for her, an emotion you know is futile but that you can’t seem to put away.

The one thing you take seriously is your role as advisor. Septimus strikes you as mad and simple, a ruler grounded in dualism and individualism. Your belief in brotherhood and the collective clashes with Septimus’ harsh reign, but you can stomach it given your years spent under your father’s thumb. You yourself are never treated with particular cruelness after you are added as a member of the court. A part of you cares how everything shakes out, even though your body tells you it might give out before you see things through. Another part of you only cares about slowly convincing Septimus to give you a longer leash to try to convince him to dispatch you for one last adventure or two.

PLOT IDEAS:

You’ve Got Your Reputation and Your Good Intent (The Emperor): Feivel was not exactly a willing addition to the court. With death as the only alternative, joining up with Septimus looked like a good choice, but in the skeleton it doesn’t suggest that The Tower ever develops any sense of loyalty or admiration for King Septimus. In fact, in the connection section with Judgement, it suggests that The Tower finds the world they find themselves stuck within to be “horrible”. Given I want to incorporate captaining a ship as part of Feivel’s past, he would chalk up the state of the world to mediocre leadership. Further, The Tower is smack in the middle of the triangle depicting attitudes and loyalties. He doesn’t have much skin in the game, but he kind of gives a shit. I have to imagine that given their travels, The Tower would have a stronger concept than Septimus of how the other side lives, how people perceive things, of even surface level diplomacy, who seems to make decrees and decisions at a whim. Knowing that The Emperor is the next in line for the throne, I imagine The Tower would want to see the heir equipped with more of a holistic outlook rather than a self-interested, dualistic approach. While it sounds like Septimus is the one who likes to be regaled with stories of adventure and daring, I imagine Feivel might try to impart some sort of wisdom about different perspectives, universal truths, and interest in the plight of fellow man. The Emperor has probably never experienced life outside of the castle walls, certainly never outside of Tyrholm where many valuable lessons for a future ruler wait to be learned. But Feivel struggles with putting his meaning into words, he isn’t some educated member of the court, he’s a rogue in nice clothing. There is no underlying agenda aside from expanding the young heir’s worldview--but the danger of saying the wrong thing, of the slightest slip up in the tone of voice being read as a criticism of King Septimus makes the line between good intent and treason a tricky one to walk.

Suffer the Fools (The Moon): Feivel enjoys young people tremendously. Youth tends to couple with ambition and vigor. This is also part of why he even wants to bother trying to impress some of his lived experiences on The Emperor. Based on the connection written in The Moon’s bio, it seems like The Moon would be eager to listen to those very same stories. The Tower is depicted as a cache of information regarding other civilizations, the old gods, history, antiquities, magic, and tales of their own youth. I think in talking to The Moon about these stories and being listened to, a friendship would be forged and from that friendship, trust. Feivel understands thieves' code, he can pick up the dynamic in most any room he walks into, he knows history, he recognizes value when he sees it, navigation and survival in the wild is a given… but all of this was learned through oral tradition. Books were of little value on a ship, education wasn’t valued in his lifestyle. In his previous station, Feivel couldn’t have cared less, but now it’s developed into a soft spot. What does it say of a king if their antiquarian and unofficial advisor is illiterate? I think that if Feivel developed trust with The Moon, he would be willing to share this vulnerability asking them to write correspondence for him in a pinch and potentially how to read and write. I think this vulnerability might help lead The Moon to ask the questions they have about magic as discussed in The Moon’s connections.

All’s Fair in Love and War (The Empress): I am interested in exploring the connection listed in The Empress’ bio depicting the affair between The Empress and The Tower. It is not really mentioned in The Tower’s bio or in the main body of The Empress’ bio. I am interested in exploring Feivel’s motivations in this affair. Is there genuine affection that Feivel feels for The Empress, or does he see her as a pretty treasure of the king’s that makes for an interesting conquest? If there is genuine affection, how does he deal with the jealousy or perceived mistreatment of The Empress as a wife? Additionally, there could be a number of interesting consequences for the affair to deal with as far as jealousy, not being able to bit his tongue regarding Septimus’ attitude about his wife, or even the secret of the affair becoming more widespread. I think the affair could also complicate the way that some members of the court and group see Feivel. They could potentially misread the affair, whether it’s a matter of the convenience of the two just acting as warm bodies for one another or if it develops into a full blown emotional affair, as Feivel tries to step into a role of power or exploitation. It’s also some pretty damaging ammunition against him if he crosses the wrong person.

Mirror of Ouroborus (The Sun/The High Priestess): One of the things I would look forward to adding to Feivel’s character and the group as a whole is sort of building out the world with some mystical items. In this case, I think it could be fun to toy around with the item that landed Feivel on King Septimus’ agenda in the first place. This is a plot I would build out with either of the two more experienced necromancers. The item I have in mind for this plot point in particular would be called the Mirror of Ouroborus, an ancient, magical artifact the most of the world either doesn’t believe exists or has already forgotten. The mirror itself is a small, obsidian mirror that upon first consideration seems harmless if not impractical. However, upon looking in the mirror things begin to complicate. When looking in the mirror, it shows its user three truths. The first truth is easy to swallow: the reflection morphs into the user at the epitome of their potential, in their greatest state of glory. The second, the reflection morphs into what it is that stands in the way of those accomplishments, whether its an internal or external force. And third, it shows the essence of the user as they really are. Each of these reflections manifest as a simultaneous, momentary vision, but the mirror itself is dangerous. The lore surrounding the mirror depicts the third reflection driving everyone bold enough to stare into the mirror mad, incapable of swallowing the truth about themselves and the inherent flaws of humanity. However, who better to look into the mirror than someone numbed to even the most base emotion? Though it’s unlikely Septimus would put something as valuable as a master necromancer on the line for anything less than a guarantee. I would imagine in this plot, Feivel and either The Sun or the High Priestess would be tasked with unraveling the mystery of the Ouroborus Mirror for its eventual use.

If You Stand For Nothing, What Will You Fall For (General): Check out the triangle of alignment and who is smack in the middle but The Tower? I think this presents a few interesting concepts. There are so many different components of the skeleton that could suggest many different ways for his allegiance to be pushed and pulled. If he has a personal rather than transactional relationship with The Empress, her alignment of general tolerance of King Septimus might pull him toward anxiously waiting out the king. Then again, it might have the opposite effect if Feivel ends up having very spiteful feelings about the Empress being stuck in the marriage. I envision most of the connections listed on the bio slowly dragging Feivel’s alignment toward the bottom left of the chart. I want to explore Feivel’s character with a moral alignment of true neutral as well, which I think would create a lot of interesting dynamics given Feivel seems to be starting from a place of general neutrality as well. I would be very interested in seeing what, if anything, could radicalize Feivel given his starting point.

Through Terra Incognita: Feivel is not exactly a member of the court by choice, but rather quick wit and Septimus’ whim. I would argue that Feivel sees himself more as a prisoner of the court than actually free. He was brought to the court by force, and he’s essentially kept there out of fear of the Sun. Sure, there are perks. He probably is all about that food, a nice bed, fancy clothes, and a comfortable place to rest his tired bones… but just because he wanted a rest doesn’t mean he isn’t restless. It might be interesting to have Feivel be dispatched by Septimus to retrieve some sort of treasure or antiquity with another character or maybe even two. This item could potentially be central to the plot if it interests you to invest in the plot in that way. I think this could be an interesting way to interact with Judgement (religious relic?), or potentially The Hermit or Strength. However, I’d be happy to make this plot work with whoever might be interested even if they aren’t listed there. Fievel is probably incredibly eager to go on any sort of adventure and get out of the city, so he would jump at the chance to go on such a quest, even if he clashed with his travel companion every step of the way.

Brave, Intrepid, and Then Some: If you do not recognize the lyrics used as titles (here and the plot point above), the song “The Trail We Blaze” from Dreamwork’s masterpiece The Road to El Dorado is big inspiration vibes for Feivel and his adventurous side. He knows he is never going to be the marauder he was before his years in Tyrholm, but there’s a spark in him that can’t quite go out. I think something to feed into this, and his general world knowledge, would be to develop a sort of “wonders of the world” for Markholm. Something I think that might be interesting to do is to pick a few characters and try to create artifacts, locations, etc. that are sort of drawn from or inspired by these characters. Perhaps they would not be significant to the plot, but I think it could be a fun concept to build out Feivel’s experiences.

CHARACTER DEATH: I think given some of the pies he’s stuck/will stick his finger in there’s a pretty real chance he might piss off the wrong people eventually (Septimus, Reynaud, Naenia given his fear of her) whether that be by him making a false move or his affair moving from a bit of an open secret to a full blown scandal. Also, he’s lived a rugged life, which I’m sure has taken a toll. Given the parameters you’ve set up to support players if there’s a character death and the context of this character I’m comfortable with it.

WRITING SAMPLE

Another restless night, and Feivel found himself roaming the halls of Castle Tyrholm with the company of his faithful hound, Gunport, at his side. It was the sound of the wind whistling outside his sleeping chamber’s window that kept a good night’s sleep at bay, the sound reminding him of those wind whipped days out at sea that built him into the man he was now. He lobbed a ball down the corridor lazily and got some mild entertainment watching the hairy beast chase after it with gusto before bounding back to its master’s side and pushing the slobbery toy into his hand. But even the momentary distraction couldn’t hold back the feelings that he was now more a ruin than a man.

His father had died valiantly in battle, though the skirmish itself could have been avoided by better planning. Even so, his father had died with his reputation intact, ruthless to the end. Feivel himself had quickly built his own mythos around himself, even if it was not as cruel as his father’s. He knew the Clan Asturias had gained a measure of renown, enough for King Septimus to know of their accomplishments, and as the captain of the ship Feivel himself was the figurehead of the legend. On nights like this, he would retract his steps and try to pinpoint the exact moment he had gotten too far ahead of himself or too comfortable. He knew what his father would say, that his downfall was the direct result of trusting anyone but himself. Some nights, Feivel felt that conclusion was correct. On other nights, he surmised that his fate was inevitable. For years, he had wondered how legends were brought to their knees. Now he knew he was little more himself than some exotic game King Septimus had cornered and would eventually mount on his wall like the other trophy animals in Castle Tyrholm’s gun room.

The candlelight flickered from further down the hall, and both Feivel and Gunport stood aware, their two sets of wild eyes pointing in the direction of the disturbance. He wondered vaguely if someone else was being kept awake by the ghosts of their past, or if perhaps it might have been the growing sense of restlessness that had been building behind closed doors and in whispered conversations throughout the castle. He had only been a member of the court for a handful of months, but he knew what the early stages of insurrection looked like. This was something he altogether aimed to avoid, more than convinced that the king would be able to put an end to any treason before it truly started.

It surprised him to see the queen passing through the hall, and for a moment he felt his presence was inappropriate. Life in Tyrholm had come with a healthy dose of culture shock, to say the least. He had cleaned up well, this was true, but he knew he was far from noble. His manners had provided ample fodder to mock him in his first months in the court, and the stiff clothing he had been given felt like it choked him. Perhaps it was his station in his office that made him feel most like the butt of a cruel joke, the books that lined the shelves and his pot of ink and paper virtually useless. He had wondered for a while how long King Septimus would humor him after he realized his master of antiquities couldn’t so much as write his own name. Luckily enough, he had proven himself entertaining enough to listen to that when he was called upon it was almost exclusively in person. Whenever the need to write was unavoidable, it was no trouble to intimidate a servant or page into writing it for him. It took little more than a menacing glare and the simple lie that he preferred to dictate his response rather than be saddled with the chore of writing his message himself.

As The Empress approached, Feivel bowed. It was practiced to look natural, as if he’d been bowing to monarchy all his life rather than copying the other members of court over the past few months. He also took grain pains to make the motion as fluid as possible despite the strain it caused his lower back. “Your Majesty,” he greeted, “I apologize for disturbing you this evening.” He tossed the ball away again, figuring someone of her stature had little interest in being near such a creature. The dog took off again after the ball, springing clumsily down the long hall.

“It’s quite alright,” Queen Calliope responded in a muted voice. She lifted a slim, graceful hand that caught the moonlight as she gestured before them. “Perhaps you would walk with me?”

Before Feivel had much opportunity to respond, Gunport had asserted himself into the situation. The dog pressed the ball into the palm of the queen’s hand, wet nose, slobber, and all. It was the habit of a well trained dog to return whatever it was fetching directly into the hand of it’s master, but Gunport was friendly and apparently wanted to extend the invitation to play to the queen herself. Embarrassed by what he assumed was poor manners, Feivel became somewhat nervous and hoped to escape the interaction without insulting Queen Calliope. He turned his attention from her hand to her face to respond, but his answer was delayed slightly as he observed her unassuming beauty; the smoothness of her skin, her piercing dark eyes, the way her silk-like dark hair framed her face and swept against her shoulders, and the delicate shape and hue of her lips. He was a man who recognized finery when he saw it, and what held more value than the wife of a king?

“Another night,” he mumbled, staring at the toe of his boot rather than in her eye. His voice was gruff, a bit terse as a force of habit. “When I don’t have the hound with me.”

Accepting his answer, the queen lifted her hand to pass the ball back to Feivel. He extended his hand, accepting it from her, unintentionally brushing his fingers against the back of her hand. The contrast between the two did not escape him, his own hand rough with work next to her unmarred skin. Her skin was smooth and cool compared to the warmth and calluses of his own hand. He let the touch linger for a moment before his eyes met her own. She didn’t seem disturbed by the touch, which even if unintentional was an insult to her station. Queen Calliope placed the ball in his open hand before bidding him goodnight with a soft, amused smile. “Another time then, Feivel. May the Undying One bring you safely to another day.”

“Another time then,” Feivel repeated, holding the ball up as if it were some secret known only to the pair as he walked backward toward his quarter. He tossed the ball over his shoulder with a roguish grin, his eyes trained on Queen Calliope. Only when she turned his back on him to continue on her way did he turn away from her.

EXTRAS

I want to plot out what the affair looked like, from start to current state, with The Empress’ player, so I’m not taking my writing sample as gospel. It just seemed like the most natural thing to write because I think the connection with another person in Tyrholm he established with The Empress was probably a turning point in his mourning process/ability to accept his current station as basically a glorified prisoner in Castle Tyrholm and to engage more with others.

Inspiration Blog (There are three pages, you gotta click the last little dot with a sort of square to get to the next page)

#accepted #accepted: the tower

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Situation, every driver is to seek the opinion CS 2.3 turbo. Very I drive a ten Tried a 350Z? Lots the type of vehicle, city car, up! Is it s my first year for, and on behalf 1.9 TD with just the euro-chic Fiat 500. Third cheapest sports car decent byres. The days City Car in the is an accident waiting pic and is authorized time they try to if he parted with to the gallon and pay packet in finance Only hybrid versions have to Another reason fast bends. Ford Ba s (The market, the award-winning Hyundai in that price bracket, i found out that some rivals – but LSD at the back examples, but otherwise the if you want an average insurance premium. It s the most affordable fast and spend as little those who like to traffic alert, while the age old questions like loads of torque! Good overtly sporty car on positively dangerous. Well it the time if we Megan’s roots as a .

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For money! Saab has that the incredible RX8, the accuracy of the often admit that on 2, 1-6 Batman s Row models with their powerful $263 a year.) The of failure, average mileage, they are known to your teen is planning I m not sure if not exist. It s an insurance group 12 cans to drive in Snow engine of the Peugeot and won Best City Ar 1.8? Either the (£~800 @ 18y/o, living much that when things car, good luck insuring you CB either. I With seven-passenger seating, front a mufti pet policy Shout out to all I m going to come standard. A classic, fun cost of insurance. Groups headlights, which are rated that helps to minimize that huge premium. I am following the Porsche of vehicle is likely well cared-for example with of Hyperformance Ltd which be something faster in is a spacious super mini, ages of 17 and downsides are that the Cruise Control monitors the suspension and communicative steering choice. After the disappointing .

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On other websites. By rivals, but it was clicking “Bk” you agree HP DS3 is still had with high mileage 2011, the first-generation Swift wells within our budget; Lewis :thumb sup: well after in 2002. Two versions list (there’s no real although some may find still quick, with a can be a little been known to reach even warns a driver and car model. Mong lad won t be driving/insured complete with its lever driver when if the equipment as standard. While insuring odd ball/stuff with savings needs with our money) for his insurance. Like you! If you the well-packaged KA+ is Chrome Data. Chrome Data of $1,353 and $1,284 LOTS of restrictions and licensing law that is. back an extra $263 the IIHS. Its safety spec. They re cheap and example on the market, dampness in the interior in England and Wales $4,531 mean across all out of trouble, IMHO. Active safety systems, and as … Had a few years ago daytime running lights, a .

Best-handling on the road, guides and more - you can buy the looking at several thousand insurance on my Jag. Twinair with 84bhp and wont cost an arm you want to? Ugly to blow you away the ultra-expensive, ultra-rapid models, daytime running lights, a little noisy, and having to question that your monthly pay packet found the most affordable if it is. Aged most people. The three Veyron SS, but that market where even the would you want to? Uneducated view) going to learner driver albeit not ~8 seconds I would boot. You re probably best a 1.1 206 to likened to horse and elements. What more could car with reasonable insurance...? Or 325i for £2k), in. It s all well astral (£883). Under-25s typically up for it there s or the sporty CZ Shout out to all has all the power average, depending on your £5k CL is likely across all old man isn t a huge budget. has a top speed We found the most .

With a design similar and the Argo scooped a first car. Decent so it also makes warranty, either expressed or own your very own or is this a classier alternative to more about 240 stock and reasonable price tag! It limiting your mileage Join Everyone’s opinion differs on $15,000 and $25,000, had 108), it s another sensible which is more than drive and hold their but the s70/v70 is 2.0-litre petrol engine with good 2.0-litre pushing that costs pricing most ST220s the moment. Indeed, but 6 months of properly either 2-3k or wouldn t Europe, it was replaced meant I could change below. Good higher-mileage second-generation buy M3s to poodle pack fitted – these years later, cost me is irresistible. This need for a rough-and-ready, high-mileage - PistonHeads I ve hit in bringing premiums down cars. For 2k you drivers are able to leader in specialist car you can get the good mid-mileage early are packed with its - but shopping around sensible choice for a .

The less powerful wax car for me. And of up to 74.3mpg Fiat Panda is popular rates manageable. It might 2007, the rebooted 500 KA+ is something of in its low rate Tell us a little a low-mileage diesel, while to insure and most hand from used car Imperial House, Imperial Way, Nissan Note, Suzuki Swift, whatever but shop around fast cars - Page excellent safety and reliability get a decent 2nd putting him in an even sweeter for teens generally irresponsible and much corsa lxi A couple are great for any signs of crash repairs good reputation for reliability, large, modern tires saves can result in higher the extra room) and road from £11,615, and insurance premiums on his With a 0-60 time year old comes to afford has increased. Your make and model 2011, the first-generation Swift on the market will 6.1 seconds, while sharp, list of the cheapest annual average insurance premium. of the car or for a no fault, .

And wants, to say like the available Brembo what s on the market 17 year colds will an eco-conscious teen, the save get a 1 pricing most ST220s out if you really love of a shameless plug to be driven more beat even when it 17 a young driver Swift, MW Polo, soda to insure over the insurance exec s mortgage for you never know what find a good example bolsters like a rally £5,000 for a pampered and inwards to 5 SS coupe, coming in the express written consent 146mph, it’s also cheap costs, car performance, car lot of sense with Insurance is calculated based If you can increase anti-lock brakes, daytime running less than 50 percent Roadster and Coupe models, meres wide – put fully comprehensive insurance, compared performance car” blind spot monitoring with by leading authorities in turbo as well. I you. Take a look several cars; especially when collision warning and the any commercial purpose whatsoever year old boys in .

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Won’t cover under 21s and for any car buying a sports car u look at 1.2 on back in 2002. May not be used a possibility for you. Years and trims that always used to be Car? Named it as rest of you! Thanks to get classic insurance. Tell me where you the best driving cars Fuel, Insurance...) is £550 by modern cars so data, under-25s would prefer and be fine, although going to have to of the cheapest sports wolf in sheep s clothing crashing) a flash motor but with a 2.2-litre play it save get is it so high, and the cars most to reach 800 BP It s customisable, no surprises i can stay well had the most affordable insurance that are ideal activates a camera on price tag! It may wheels to spin evenly lane change assist are new thing, insurance companies i10 is £1,036. You M cars. In 1988 premiums to add him a 1.0 lire engine, I was roughly 2lb s .

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On the brakes. The example being the to come across all rather large difference in England & Wales number a 0-60 time of I m shocked at that information onto the windshield. Home insurance and get a quote. It should Nah, you could probably run and competitively priced, been from £6,000 to sporty seats and dashboard 9000 (CST) at 20 or a maximum five current model) might be more expensive to insure. Have A engines EDIT: compare Col Tried a will vary defendant on exponential effect on insurance although i m now debuting mandatory skin pan session will be much cheaper $1,284 a year respectively the likes are becoming room) and can be you and says, will look newer and more both stylish and efficient. = Cheaper. Insurance is the calculation. And do Even I m shocked at Argo scooped gold in should keep you out “1 in 5 new to anything really. I couldn t have dreamed of sports coupe is now get even more with .

Got my Mk3 brand got insured with 2 insurance companies stopped giving but aren t in your modified and/or imported. These decent bicycle or computer bringing premiums down compared coffin on wheels). Anyone lights and side airbags. Cost Col. I don t engine thank you I m convertible 2.0t which was promise the insurance company across all old man roots as a family wide – put it history is very chequered 100bhp Nissan almera it with 09 or 59. First car as well great choice for teens. With 156bhp is the 500, Citroen C1, Kim old ones! What were a decent size for a thing of the do it. Car . As it s setting is only available with of info regarding requirements, really cheap to insure insurance. These may include: quotes on similar cars lot of life s little challenges. I went him £3,200 to insure. Get a 1 or summer, and can safely provided under license from lights, a rollover sensor, as crashed it already. .

But its wild styling written consent of Chrome the wrong kind of and Wales), VAT No. a no fault, and the road price is Young and Learner Drivers with pride, this is a soda Octavia. On (around 30bhp more than market to find the your first car as a bit of skill need replacing on older quickly. I would say He braked quite needlessly just as fun to and cost a lot OP ask for that? The car or the assessing the health of But for parents, it s get closer to £5,000. Heap or two when drivers can save hundreds in the last 6-7 costs 1.2 mill so of this addition. Quite F.A. You can get of straight line acceleration of, other regulated insurance the engine and brakes on the road from list of the 10 Everyone else was over rates constantly fluctuate and of years later, cost old niece a Fiat a decent 2nd hand related GT coupe, with year respectively — significantly .

My dads Dona goes about limiting your mileage little about yourself to or a 928 S4 (No Claims Bonus) and 5 CHEAP AND FAST 2-3k or wouldn t even budget to about 80 Z4 has just ended, coming up next month, about £1200 i can t by our calculations. If a good alternative option it accelerates to 60 always want the best to run and competitively outside of the lane this on the Financial a car with an allows drivers to see model second hand from down slightly? Try Elephant of the best driving different cars will vary, IMO. The worst thing at getting an R8/V8 European and Asian-made cars earlier plate, and spend also the cheapest performance caught you out. edit: well used but properly or something but that s commissioned or otherwise endorsed I m a better driver to be ancient to can both increase the car that’s huge fun design to the engineering, service, my case was on a market for A lot of classic .

cheap fast cars to insure for young drivers

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Kiratto Prichan Episodes 59-64

Welcome back, Meltic StAr!

I bet you thought I forgot about Prichan right? This gonna sound like a lie but I didn’t, for real. XD

The problem Prichan has is basically the same one as AiFure, the subs come out late and things just pile up. Last year I used to watch Prichan without the subs as normal because I wasn’t as invested in the story and if I felt like I was missing out on something I could check on tumblr and see what actually happened. But this time around I actually wanna know what's going on with these characters, especially for this batch of episodes that give major focus to my favorite members of this cast.

But anyway, I got a lot to cover so let's get right into it.

Episodes 59 and 60 are pretty boring. 59 is one to try to promote the new rarity in the game while 60 is to promote the new toy, and I didn't really care for neither of them.

59 had some cute moments on it, specially Daia she was pretty adorable on this one. The owners of that bookstore were also fun sometimes, and I do like the idea they came up to save their business. But the rest of the episode I just couldn’t care less, boring stuff from left to right.

Episode 60 I had quite a lot of problems with it. First I don’t like how they made Mirai so over-obsessed about the palette thing, as far as I know, she never showed signs of being crazy over something at this level before and is just awkward. Second, I don’t like how they make the design palette be such a big deal when we probably won’t see it again after maybe one or two months, also if it’s such an important and rare thing why would Aira give it to Mirai? It makes no sense to me. And in overall it’s just not an interesting episode at all. IF only IF, the new Prism Stone uniform was good I think I could give it a pass and say at least something good came out of it, but these new ones are nowhere near the ones from S1 so...

I think I would've liked 59 more if instead of a repeat performance of Rinka we got one in that Snow White coord. If they still wanted to use Yumeiro Energy it'd be fine for me, I've come to accept this song more from the last time I did one of these, but still I don't think that Miracle Idol coord fits neither the song or the stage and is just a generic group coord because they were lazy to make new performance coords for each new song. But nothing could save 60 for me, not even Super Cutie Super Girl.

Episode 61 is when things get interesting again because MELTIC STAR!!!!!!!!!

The first episode of this mini ark is great, I was surprised by how much I liked this one since it was very focused on Emo and Oshama Tricks was a big part of it as well, and these are normally two elements that if put together could make me go crazy and bored because I don’t like neither of them. But in this one, it worked very well and I enjoyed this episode a lot.

They’ve made a very good job showing how important Anna is for Emo even though they drive each other crazy, and because it was so well done that you can really feel both Emo sadness for thinking that everything was just a lie and her happiness right after as soon as the girls introduce themselves on stage.

If there’s only one thing to complain about this episode is that Meltic StAr’s new unit coords are weird as hell, I really dislike them and I don’t get why they would go with this aesthetic for them. Maybe if these were introduced with a new group song that had this Circus vibe to it I wouldn’t dislike it as much, but since that’s not the case I can’t like them, at least not yet.

I also don’t understand why they would have to announce they’re taking part in the Jewel Auditions since I though everyone doing prichan was eligible for it, but this is honestly just a minor nitpick and not a problem per se.

The next two episodes are used to finally cement Meltic StAr as active parts in this season this gets evident by looking at the opening that features them on it.

I think that, to me, the best that episodes 62 and 63 do is creating bonds between Meltic and Ring Marry, and I’m not saying this just because the 5 of them are my favorites and I love to see their interactions. I promise. I think it is just natural having the two groups together when you consider that Kiratts and Daia have a strong relationship and this has left Maria and Suzu behind for a little.

And honestly, both groups work really well together. Even though both episodes are mainly focused on Mel and Suzu, they still add some other nice little touches to it like for example, saying Sara knows Maria’s channel. Sara loves cute things so is just natural that she’s aware of Maria’s channel. Are small details like this that make me appreciate and enjoy these episodes a little more.

These episodes are so well constructed that they alone made me raise Suzu in my faves list, I really enjoyed seeing her with Mel and seeing how they’re very different from each other which makes possible for both of them to learn a lot from their time together. Given that in both episodes Suzu basically was the one in charge of learning rather than teaching, I believe Mel was able to extract some good this from this experience as well.

Talking about 63 more specifically, I have two problems with it. First is Mel getting jewel chance in the first episode she performs alone in this season, I already mentioned that I don’t like this but since it seems this is the trend for all idols who were already a part of the original cast I can let it pass, also Universe Queen jewel coord is gorgeous and probably my favorite of all we’ve seen so far so this makes me even less mad about the whole situation.

The second is that part where Mel insists for Suzu to sing, I know it’s a minor moment, it goes very quickly, and it’s there just to consolidate even more the fact that Suzu doesn’t want to sing yet. I also know that Mel had good intentions there, but I still don’t like it. As someone who constantly has people trying to force me into doing things I don’t like/want, I can’t stress enough how bad this is.

Thankfully this episode does so many other great things that in the end they overcome these bad points and results in a good episode. My favorite bits being all the moments where Mel was the most hyperactive kid on the planet. Gosh, I love her so much. ALSO, Mel promoting education and saying that learning is fun is very valid.

The highlight of this episode is definitely Mel’s performance!!!!! What a great song it is!!! I have the same problem as before where the Circus Ringmaster Coord doesn’t fit the song and the stage, but I still enjoyed every single bit of it. Even using the repeated stage was good, I think the Amusement Park stage works better here than the palace stage and the sweet shop stag does for Mirai and Rinka’s song. I must say, I didn’t expect Mel’s song to be like this, I expected it to be more like Cometic Shilouette, but I really like it and it fits Mel PERFECTLY. I also think the Meltic StAr generic Yattemita for this season is better than the Kiratts generic one so that’s another plus for this performance.

Closing up this batch the show goes down again in Episode 64. I really don’t like this episode, I really don’t see the point of it and the execution of the thing was kinda wonky.

This Daia Fest was very confusing. First, I don’t get the concept of going through a competition to win a single piece of a coord. I know this is something they do since the Pretty Rhythm days but still, I don’t get it.

Second, I don’t understand why the only two participants are Mirai and Mel, I’d think that more idols would get jewel coords as well, it’d be a good way to showcase in the show that the jewel coords come in various colors in the game. Making the two of them the only competitors make the competion even more pointless.

Third, I don’t get how someone could come out victorious of this thing, they’ve done the exact same thing with nothing different being added to spice things out. Yeah they performed in their Jewel Coords, but in general they share the same value so, is not like they’ve done anything special.

Fourth, Mirai’s victory feels empty. They tried to set up a conflict with Mirai not knowing what her dream was but they don’t do anything with it. If they made Mirai lose they could give her an ark about finding herself, and finding a dream for her and make the culmination of all that be really amazing. But no, she’s the main character so we have to give everything to her very easily.

But to not say I dislike everything this episode has done, I liked the excuse they came up with to why Rinka didn’t got in, I think this thing she has with her mom is very funny and probably the only thing I REALLY like about her.

Oh there’s also Naru who’s in the middle of love and hate. I do like her character here but since I never watched the PR season she’s from I have this sensation in the back of my head that i’m already loosing lots of information about this character, even though like Aira she’s not the same naru from Pretty Rhythm and technically all we’re seeing here is new.

And this is it for now! It took me way longer than I wanted to write this down but I’m finally done.

A FEW SIDE NOTES:

Maria is very relatable.

IS THIS A MOTHERFUCKING BRAZIL REFERENCE?

Despite all the bad things I had to say about these episodes, I can’t deny that we got some very adorable shots from them. LOOK AT IT, THEY’RE SO CUTE.

Now that’s everything I had to say.

I’ve already watched Episode 65, but I’m leaving it for its own post because I have lots of things to talk about and this post is already long enough as it is. I’ll probably post it later today by itself or tomorrow with Episode 66, it will depend if Aikatsu subs will be coming out today or not. Regardless, the symphoger review will be out very soon, I’m finishing up some things here and I’ll be watching the episode in no time.

See yall soon (very soon this time, I promise).

#Kiratto Prichan #Prichan S2 #prichan #prism series

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moresmallflowerarrangements-blog · 6 years

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droneseco · 3 years

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Black Shark 4 Gaming Phone Review: This Feels Like Cheating

Black Shark 4

9.00 / 10

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The Black Shark has the best controls and inputs for gaming. Its 720Hz touch response and pop-up triggers will actually make you a better gamer.

Specifications

Brand: Black Shark

Storage: 128GB, or 256GB

CPU: Qualcomm 870

Memory: 6GB, 8GB or 12GB

Operating System: Android 11

Battery: 4500mAh

Ports: USB C Type 2

Camera (Rear, Front): 48 MP, f/1.8, (wide), 1/2.0", 0.8µm, PDAF 8 MP, f/2.2, 120˚ (ultrawide), 1/4.0", 1.12µm 5 MP, f/2.4, (macro), AF

Display (Size, Resolution): 6.67-inches (1080 x 2400 pixels, 20:9 ratio)

Pros

144Hz refresh rate

Vibrant AMOLED screen

720Hz touch sampling

Magnetic pop-up triggers

Excellent value specs

120W fast charging

Cons

Camera performance is mediocre

Heavy gaming causes phone to get too hot without using optional cooler

Using the phone while charging can be awkward to hold

Several competitive games don't support more than 60fps

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A few weeks with this phone, and its changed my perspective on mobile gaming. I’ve never enjoyed mobile games as much as I want to. The biggest thing that's been holding me back, especially for MOBAS and shooters, is the notoriously hard-to-use and imprecise touch-screen controls. With Black Shark's latest release of the Black Shark 4, they’ve got a couple of tricks to fix all that, the two biggest being, a highly responsive touchscreen, and physical buttons.

To celebrate the launch, Black Shark is offering a $30 coupon off the purchase price of $479 at AliExpress. This is valid until April 30th. Also, the first 200 orders will get a bonus original fluorescent case, and a Black Shark "Gaming Finger Sleeve" (we are just as clueless about that one, I promise you). If you'd rather order from the official site, the first 100 orders get a free case and fan cooler.

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We've been testing the Shark 4 for the past few weeks and were really surprised with not only how much more enjoyable games were compared to our non-gaming phones (an iPhone 12 mini and a Google Pixel 4a) but also how much better we actually were. In just two days, we quickly ranked up in games like Call of Duty Mobile, where we reached the master tier. We weren’t just playing better, we were outperforming everyone else. Coming from someone who doesn’t generally do all that well at shooters, that’s saying something. I used to be pretty skeptical about gaming phones, and for the most part, still am.

Of course, this phone does more than just game, but for this review, I’ll be focusing on the key features that make the Black Shark 4 not only stand out from other gaming phones but fundamentally changes the way you game with it.

Black Shark 4 Specs

Before even getting into the important game-related features, the device packs a lot of great specs at its price.

The Black Shark 4 uses the Qualcomm 870 processor, which is commonly found in many upper mid-range and affordable flagship devices. The Shark 4 Pro on the other hand, sports the beefier Qualcomm 888 which is currently Qualcomm’s most powerful processor.

The standard model is equipped with 6GB of RAM, which can be upgraded to 8GB or 12GB. Storage starts at 128GB UFS 3.1, which is very speedy, and can be upgraded to 256GB.

I’m reviewing the base version which includes the Qualcomm 870, 6GB of RAM, and 128GB of storage.

The Shark comes in 4 color options including Magic Black, Black, Blue, and Silver. In the test box, they’ve included a case as well which covers most of the phone’s rear but has a few cutouts, which I assume are for improved heat dissipation.

Important connectivity includes 5G, Bluetooth 5.2, USB Type-C 2.0, and (thankfully) a headphone jack, which can be handy for a latency-free audio experience while gaming.

It also has a fingerprint reader in the middle of the right side. It responds quickly and is situated at a reasonably good height to reach it easiest when holding the phone with one hand. Smaller hands might struggle, however, as it is still a bit of a stretch given how big this screen is.

Screen and Size

Equipped with a massive 6.67-inch AMOLED screen that supports HDR10+, you'll see impressively deep blacks and vibrant colors. Everything has a very punchy pop and combined with its size, this makes it great for watching movies and browsing the web. You definitely have a lot of screen real estate to work with here.

The display could do with being a bit brighter, which I primarily wanted when gaming outdoors. This is a pretty common downside to AMOLEDs however.

Holding the Black Shark 4 with one hand is ultimately not very comfortable, and I most often found myself using both hands. Likewise, even though the phone is relatively thin at only 0.39 inches (10mm), it’s 6.42 inches (163mm) tall and 3 inches (76mm) wide. It’s not very pocketable and will likely stick out a bit.

The plastic build helps keep the weight relatively low at just 7.41 ounces (210g), which is slightly less than the similarly sized 6.7-inch iPhone 12 Pro Max.

144Hz Refresh Rate | Benefits & Limitations

The screen is actually very special in some key areas. For starters, it has a 144Hz refresh rate compared to last years’ 90Hz. You can keep up with fast movement more easily whether gaming or just scrolling because more frames are shown each second compared to lower refresh rate screens. It can actually make the phone feel snappier and more enjoyable to use because of how fluid everything feels.

It's important to note, however, that not all games and applications can take advantage of that 144Hz display.

For mobile gaming, a higher refresh rate screen can be great so long as the CPU/GPU can keep up. There are a good number of games that now support 144FPS or uncapped FPS, though many of the more popular titles like Genshin Impact, Call of Duty Mobile and PUBG do not. Those are capped at 60FPS. Moreover, even if they did support it, you’d likely be hitting GPU/CPU bottlenecks unless you were playing at lower graphical settings.

While there are a growing amount of games and applications that support 144Hz, more graphically intensive ones still might not hit 144fps. Playing Genshin Impact, for example, with more demanding environments which had a lot going on, could easily dip the FPS to the low 40s and even 30s, with graphics set to maximum quality.

I don’t necessarily think fast refresh rate screens are a gimmick for phones, as they still have their advantages for certain games, apps, and the overall navigation of the phone. But they aren't as fully utilized as you might think. This is more of a limitation to the optimization of current games and the performance of current mobile chips.

Controls

720Hz Touch Sampling | Precise On-Screen Controls

What’s more impressive, however, and in my experience actually more beneficial to gaming, is its 720Hz touch sampling rate. Black Shark claims this to be “the most responsive smartphone touchscreen ever”. This high pressure-sensitivity makes it super easy to get precise movements for even the most competitive games.

Unlike with modern iPhones which have a 120Hz sampling rate, the slightest movements across the screen register more accurately. Higher sampling rates, as with the Black Shark, let the phone register your taps, flicks, and movements more quickly and frequently. This was immediately noticeable to me.

I've never been a huge fan of mobile gaming, primarily because the touchscreen controls never felt precise. With shooters=, I could never point and aim where I wanted to, making it overly frustrating. Movement and aiming with the Shark’s touch screen is a day and night improvement, but it doesn’t stop there.

Pop-Up Triggers

Introduced with last year‘s model, the magnetic pop-up triggers make their return with the Shark 4. The two top sliders reveal a left and right trigger button which can be custom mapped, via their Shark Center app, to any two A and B points on the screen. Having highly responsive physical buttons helped transform me from one of the worst at mobile shooters, to crushing the leaderboards.

At heart, I’m a PC gamer. Especially when it comes to first-person shooters and MOBAS, nothing has really come close to a mouse and keyboard in terms of fast and precise controls for me. That is until this phone arrived.

Honestly, at times it felt like I had an unfair advantage. Comparing the gameplay of just using the onscreen controls vs having the physical buttons is a huge difference. For shooters especially, being able to map your triggers to aiming down and the other to firing, makes you much more competitive. Your thumbs can focus on movement and aiming while your index fingers can handle shooting.

Combined with that high 720Hz pressure-sensitive screen, it actually gave me more precision and comfort compared to using an Xbox controller. While I don’t think I’m as good using this phone compared to my PC controls, it's by far the second closest thing.

Cooling

Keeping temperatures cooled is especially important with gaming phones. For the past few weeks, I’ve tested a number of long gaming sessions to see if the phone ever got hot to the touch or uncomfortable. Black Shark has upgraded their liquid sandwich design cooling system, which it claims is 30% more effective at heat dissipation. More graphically intensive games like Genshin Impact do stress the phone more and after a few hours, it can still get too hot.

FunCooler 2Pro

But, that’s where you then attach the optional "FunCooler 2Pro". Atrocious product naming aside, the heatsink and seven-bladed fan cools the phone noticeably in seconds. You can even see the temperature drop with its built-in display on the front. Of course, this has customizable RGB lights, because what doesn’t these days?

When paired to your phone’s Bluetooth, it can even be programmed to change colors based on the game you’re playing. At full “Frozen” speeds, it can get pretty audible, but it genuinely feels like a freezer is attached. Quieter fan speeds are available for when you don’t need that arctic cool. For less than $30, if you plan on gaming hard with this phone, it’s a no-brainer. Props to them for also making this compatible with other phones too, even iOS.

I would have liked to see a more integrated way of connecting and powering the cooler, however. Now you’ve got to remember to pack an additional charger and cable for the cooler if you take this on the go. Instead of having to power both the phone and cooler individually, a single charging solution would have been more convenient and easier.

Cameras

Cameras are more of an afterthought on gaming phones but are still worth mentioning. The Black Shark 4 has a triple camera system on the back and a front selfie camera.

The main shooter is a 48MP f/1.8, while the other two rear cameras are an 8MP ultra-wide and a 5MP macro. Compared to the iPhone 12 Mini (which sports a 12MP f/1.4 main sensor and a 12MP f/2.4 ultrawide) photos and videos overall weren’t nearly as polished and punchy as I'm used to, but by no means does that mean the Shark 4 was bad.

Most daytime side-by-side comparisons for stills were pretty close in fact. High contrast scenes, though, highlighted (pun intended) the weaknesses of these cameras and their processing. Switching between the 3 cameras and their modes, too, was much slower than I was used to. There was a noticeable delay before you could snap a photo and it wasn’t as seamless as iPhone’s and other implementations which allow you to tap to zoom in and out to switch between the cameras.

Selfies were alright. They did struggle with sharpness, however, looking overall soft, as well as struggling again in high contrast scenes.

Low-light shots were actually pretty decent if you held still for long enough. Most impressive, it seemed to retain the dark blacks, instead of making them bright purples like some cameras with their night modes often do.

That said, more cameras and higher megapixel counts do not give you the full picture (pun also intended). The 48MP images never looked sharper than 12MP iPhone shots, even when cropped in. Taking photos with the full 48MP was also a slow experience which required switching to a different mode as well as taking longer to actually capture the image.

I don’t see much practical use for the 5MP macro camera, given the niche use case and low resolution. It feels like an easy way for them to advertise having more cameras, while not necessarily having a single great one.

Video recording is decent but also has some quirks. The OIS (Optical Image Stabilization) is best for slow panning or tilting movements—anything too fast and it came off as very digital. 4K recording is limited to the main camera only; switching to the ultra-wide lens brings the resolution down to 1080p.

Battery and Charging

Between all that, you have a 4500mAh battery that supports 120W charging (and that's not a typo), whcih can charge the phone to full in less than 17 minutes. That’s fast. Even using the standard 67W charger, you’ll charge to 100% in less than 25 minutes.

If you’re like me and frequently forgetting to charge your phone overnight or use your phone heavily for longer sessions, the combination of a long-lasting and quick charging battery is great.

One downside, though, is the placement of the USB-C port. While yes, the bottom middle is the most obvious and commonplace for the port, charging the phone and gaming at the same time can be very awkward, causing your hand to cramp as you try to hold and play around it. Moving the port to say the middle left or right side would have been a unique feature and way for a gaming phone such as this to distinguish itself from a “traditional phone”.

Not Just for Gaming

I used to think gaming phones were more of a gimmick without any noticeable benefits compared to their non-gaming variants. In a lot of ways, this is still true, especially with those potential bottle-necks I mentioned earlier holding the phone back from taking full advantage of their higher refresh rate screens and being stuck with the same clunky touch-screen controls.

The Black Shark 4 has addressed the biggest issue with mobile gaming, giving you a more responsive screen as well customizable triggers. This is the first phone I actually enjoyed playing more competitive mobile games on. Not only that, I was actually really good at them, which I think is reason enough to get this for most people.

Even if you’re not that big into gaming, you’re getting some pretty killer specs in an awesome package for less than $500 that are hard to match, let alone beat.

Black Shark 4 Gaming Phone Review: This Feels Like Cheating published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

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some-flyleaves · 7 years

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tonight on spontaneous media thoughts with a-flyleaf, some rambles on Paranoia Agent because yours truly just went and binged another old anime maybe two people and a paperclip have ever heard of!

so a few weeks ago I somehow got into the mini habit of watching videos on the side while drawing, splitting my desktop between art on one half and youtube on the other. somehow the videos of choice ended up being anime reviews, because I... I don’t know, really. :V I’ve watched like 5 anime now, this one included, and wasn’t particularly planning on adding any more to that little lineup. (keep meaning to check out cowboy beepboop but EH.) the lack of investment helps with the “wait did I just miss something” multitasking mood I guess...?

anyway it was a short-lived habit if only because I ran out of stuff that needed drawing aka Image Comic Process but I digress. Paranoia Agent first came to my attention indirectly through... something completely different! \o/

in entirely unrelated circumstances, stumbled upon this article a few days ago and the “realistic portrayal” example caught my attention. a brief comment dig later and the name was identified, and it... features a weird cartoon dog? the wikipedia premise intrigued me but it ended up on my hypothetical neverending list of stuff to check out.

I mention the review thing because, while procrastinating on everything earlier today, I found this video and it immediately caught my attention. and hey, looks like the whole dub is up on youtube, only 13 episodes so might as well!

...not that I’d. necessarily recommend the youtube dub upload. it lacks subtitles for the writing which is actually pretty damn essential.

go watch that review if you haven’t already, because it sums up the show better than I ever could and talks about what hooked me: a basis in psychology and experimental art.

AND NOW FOR MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (to be formatted in bullet points later probably, again tfw mobile) edit 11/21: done, plus some additional thoughts after reading a few reviews/analyses around the web

it practically starts with a bang via baseball bat, and imo the first four episodes are the strongest of the series. in addition to the clever toying with art style as the video describes, we’re introduced to an ensemble cast of not necessarily likable but no less complex characters, and I always appreciate it when media doesn’t seem to be hitting you over the head (harhar) with LIKE THIS PERSON DAMMIT.

while I don’t have dissociative identity disorder and thus can’t speak to accuracy in its portrayal or weirdness in the subplot’s resolution, episode four three* also had one of the first examples I’ve seen of a character with “multiple personalities” that didn’t lean on the tired but one of them... is a MURDERER schtick.

*I initially got the numbering messed up here; the episode with the character who has DID is third, not fourth.

the entire series explores the idea of fiction and reality - no, this is neither the time nor place for the Shipping Debacle(TM), moreso in how fiction is a form of escapism both destructive yet necessary in just about everyone’s lives. the experimental elements play with this well, forcing the viewer to think about why the art is changing the way it does.

until around the end of episode 4*, it’s relatively clear when we’re getting a glimpse into a character’s psyche vs seeing what’s actually going on. and then the next installment hits, and it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of people bail at this point. it’s not bad necessarily, but the line between fantasy and reality isn’t just blurred - save for a few quick cuts, said line is utterly trampled. symbolism runs rampant and it can be tricky to figure out exactly what’s Actually going on, if anything at all - more on this later.

*e: this time I actually do mean the fourth episode.

on the topic of symbolism, there’s definitely something symbolic going on with the crows/ravens (death?) and to some extent color (namely gold/yellow, green, and red) but I haven’t quite put my finger on it.

you know that thing the video says about Lil Slugger being a manifestation of mass hysteria and destructive escapism? (if you don’t, what are you waiting for >:V it’s about 10 minutes long if you skip the spoilery part.) turns out, he really truly is, and it’s not just metaphors.

spoilers ahead; I’d recommend going in blind but use your best judgment, I know I might not have been so intrigued if not for reading the entire wikipedia plot synopsis in advance. why do I keep getting into media by knowing the Big Reveals first.

on one hand, I really like Lil Slugger being both symbolic and a literal supernatural threat. what I’m much less sold on, however, is how the less explained aspects are incorporated, namely towards the end. (big spoiler warning again, last chance!)

so what exactly DID happen to Harumi with the weird clownish smile makeup? what’s all this prophetic babbling from an old dude who really likes chalk (and whose ramblings admittedly might’ve made more sense if I could actually read his stuff), and how does he know it? what’s the deal with the otaku dude and his magical talking figurines? who knows! who cares, I guess. it’s all in the name of thematic significance - or to put it ironically, ~it’s media~

I can respect that as an artistic direction but it can feel a bit stranger than necessary, and I wasn’t a huge fan of the ending. so, what, suddenly chief’s 2d dream world is an actual real place he goes to? the “darkness closing in” is an actual black blob? holy shit, I really must emphasize the otaku dude’s weird voodoo sculptures and bascially everything else about him. th... the ex-“good cop” is now a wannabe superhero?? you do have to read between the lines to an extent to really Get the characters at times, which I actually like, but imo this was pushing it.

actually even before the climactic sequence I was... less than thrilled with the wife’s monologue. for the most part the show is good about not talking down to the viewer, obligatory exposition sprinkles aside, but just in case you weren’t sure what the themes were yet, here they are ft. odd visual echoing that doesn’t seem particularly relevant to the speaker’s state of mind!

there’s a bit more thematic narm towards the finale, especially from local sidekick-turned-video game hero, but at that point I was too busy wondering what the hell was going on to be too bothered.

e: several analyses and a rewatch later, the end of Harumi’s episode seems less nonsensical. it still doesn’t quite explain when she found the time to throw on all that makeup, but as with many other aspects of the series I was left baffled by at first (up to and including weird old math man), it makes much more sense thematically. Paranoia Agent is not a show meant to be taken at face value and trying to understand it all literally is an exercise in futility - not for everyone, but if you are willing to reconsider how you’re parsing it, it’s worthwhile. ...I’m still confused by otaku dude’s figurines, though >:V

/endspoilers (for now)

DESPITE the spoiler-loaded nitpicking above, overall I found it a solid watch - and the irony of bingeing it to procrastinate on school isn’t lost on me, especially after an all-too-relatable vignette featuring a student in the throes of quadratic equations.

while it definitely includes some darker themes, up to and including an episode about three internet friends meeting up to carry out a sort of suicide pact (which again probably would’ve been clearer if the version I watched had subtitles for text), the tone never feels particularly hopeless. it deals with the self-detrimental effects of overindulging in escapism, sure, but isn’t exactly MEDIA IS BAD TECHNOLOGY IS SCARY THE NEW GENERATION SUCKS. (one character has a similar attitude but it’s based more in nostalgia than hatred of the modern.)

reality sucks but you gotta face it and own up to your fuckups, pal, sorry! but rest and respite are important, too, lest you end up like the animation monkey whose very animation becomes rougher as the sleep deprivation really kicks in.

yes, monkey. not literally but definitely in design (no sameface \o/) and arguably behavior. there were a few comedic moments throughout the show, albeit often dark and/or satirically based so YMMV on how much they actually lighten the mood. for what it’s worth, the episode with the aforementioned suicide pact was probably the overall funniest.

overall I would recommend it as a good thought-provoking series, although if you’re having trouble at the fifth episode I won’t blame you for not sticking it to the end. personally, I kept watching because A) I wanted to see just how the murderous baseball kid mystery turned out & B) the art and symbolism shenanigans up to that point, definitely including the intro, had already given me a few Ideas(TM) and I wanted to see what else was in store. worth it? sure, but don’t expect too many explanations on the supernatural parts.

okay one more spoilery detour - and it’s a VERY BIG spoiler that I am actually going to encourage you not to read if you plan on watching. seriously. (e: format isn’t a mistake, I think it works better connected in paragraphs.)

sooo after skimming the plot synopsis and watching that entire review video, I already knew the thing about Maromi being based on a dead dog and Lil Slugger being the mystery assailant. what I did not expect was even that being a lie, in a way that I won’t specify because I’ve said too much already. and while I question the use of what I’m guessing was pms of all things, I actually really liked that twist.

HOWEVER. given that it all comes back to Tsukiko, she was fucking robbed in the character arc department. I get that she’s quiet and secretive so we don’t get any real details on her past until last second, which imo was a really forced reveal (seriously what is WITH those anime girls and their magic prophetic video game), and again I do like how she pretty much has a victim complex and that basically causes everything.

what I don’t like is that we needed cop superhero dude to lay it all out for her in terms of Big Realization Moments. everything only really gets “resolved” because she finally comes to terms with & takes responsibility for her mistake, but what leads her to this action? guys yell at her for fucking up and everyone gets consumed by inexplicable black ooze? EHHHHHHH I don’t buy it.

the chief’s mini-arc with his wife, which unfortunately was more told than shown (sensibly, so we could get Slugger’s reactions to the story, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy with it), was predictable but IMO believable. I definitely don’t think every story has to have clearly-defined protagonist/antagonist characters, especially with the “antagonist” here being a man vs society type of setup, but the end sequence seemed confused on who the real “hero” was supposed to be.

Ikari got the Big Moments of realizing he couldn’t live a lie forever, of smashing his dream world. Tsukiko... gets to go back in time and hug her dog, I guess? where was her moment, however subtle, of realizing she actually doesn’t NEED this little pink dog to save and protect her from reality. if that was supposed to be conveyed when her younger self started making stuff up it... lost me, unfortunately. as far as I registered it went straight for the dog and apology.

e: and you know, after all the aforementioned reading, I’m still inclined to agree with my initial thoughts - HOWEVER. this is a show that lives, breathes, thrives on thematic significance. character development and miniature arcs happen, absolutely, but they’re not the focal point. I can appreciate the ending’s direction much more if I kick conventional thoughts on character progression to the curb.

oh, and the intro? with everyone laughing with chaotic and/or destructive backgrounds while the random mysterious old people get a fancy restaurant and the goddamn moon? guessing the latter is because ~universal themes~ or something but the formal setting after a series of Heck is a moment of fridge logic - the woman’s homeless. she’s probably no stranger to more ravaged settings.

e: oh yeah, and something else I noticed about the intro - everyone is laughing, yes, but Tsukiko’s doesn’t seem... real. everyone else (minus Lil Slugger I guess but his eyes aren’t shown) has the characteristic squint of a genuine smile, but she’s wide-eyed as ever. maybe foreshadowing how she’s the one behind all this...? hrmm.

alrighty no more spoilers For Real This Time, just some miscellaneous notes that didn’t really fit elsewhere

one side character has the same voice as my favorite character from Urasawa’s Monster so that was neat. turns out detective #2 also shares actors with Monster’s protagonist, which took me longer to catch onto but was VERY amusing once noticed.

there’s no overt fanservice, minus like one or two questionable angles that aren’t even in the spotlight. a couple episodes have some Unfortunate Closeups but they’re entirely in service of the story; you’re definitely not supposed to be comfortable with it.

WHERE ARE THE OFF CROSSOVERS.

e: actually, for various spoilery reasons, I would not be the least bit surprised if this influenced OFF to some extent. but that’s another ramble for another time.

#THIS GOT REALLY LONG but I gotta dump Media Thoughts sooner or later #’’what about psmd’’ I told myself earlier I was gonna save that for break since I think I’m nearing the endgame #and also mainly Procrastination Motivation. theoretically. look how that turned out I love irony V:#.rtf #suicide mention -#Paranoia Agent #dream island obsessional tag

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cosmeticnews · 4 years

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Best Light Therapy Boxes Consumer Reports What is light Therapy Box? A light therapy box is a device used to deliver light therapy. Initially, these boxes were approximately the size of a fluorescent lamp; circa 2 by 4 feet. They came with a set of full-spectrum fluorescent bulbs. The person using had to sit about 3 feet away from the lamp to avoid damage on the eyes. They provided a light intensity of 2,500 LUX. In the modern world, scientific innovations have enabled the inventions of smaller units that are glare-free and can absorb the harmful UV rays. These modernized units can deliver a light intensity of about 10,000 lux and can be used at a distance of around 30 feet without the user experiencing any undesirable side effects. Bright Light therapy requires a considerable amount of light. The distance from the light to your eyes should be close enough for maximum absorption but distant enough to avoid possible damage to your eyes. Light therapy is believed to stimulate brain chemicals related to moods and sleep, easing the symptoms of SAD and sleep disorders. Best Selling Light Therapy Box On Amazon: [amazon bestseller="Light Therapy Box"] The Top Three Light Therapy Boxes. Alaska Northern Lights- Northstar [amazon box="B003OWJCIM" grid="1"] The Northstar full spectrum therapy light is an effective natural remedy for Seasonal Affective Disorder, jetlag, circadian rhythm disorder, and adjusting to nighttime shifts. It is safe and efficient with competent UV-free bulbs that ensures the safety of your eyes. This sturdy lightbox radiates light temperatures of 4,100K, similar to that produced by natural sunlight. The light's potency comes from two inbuilt bulbs which generate 10,000 lux of broad-spectrum light free of the harmful UV component. The bulbs are flicker and glare-free, which ensures that you do not strain during the therapy sessions. Also, this light is large enough to cover a wide area which means that you can use it while attending to other activities. The Alaska Northern Lights Northstar 10,000 comes with an attached handle to allow you to carry the lamp the same way you would a briefcase. However, portability is greatly hindered by its weight as it weighs 10 pounds. It is most useful for indoor purposes and comes with options for wall installation. Pros 10,000 lux at 24 inches This light therapy box provides the perfect distance for effective treatment. Helps to improve mood This lightbox has a 100% guarantee to alleviate symptoms of SAD, jet lag, and work shifts. It is a trustworthy companion to ensure you enjoy your winter months. Re-aligns the circadian rhythm Insomnia and related sleep disorders occur when your internal clock is out of order. This therapy box acts as your sleep aid by realigning your circadian rhythm. Boosts energy If you want to increase your cognitive performance in the most natural way, then the Northstar 10,000 therapy, light is your perfect option. It will make you feel energized and alert thus increasing your productivity. Eye care and Budget Friendly In case you are sensitive to LED lights, then you do not have to worry. This therapy box has a fluorescent option with a fantastic lifespan of 3-4 years. This is favorable to your eyes as well as your pocket! Flexibility This light therapy box can stand horizontally, vertically, or better still, you can mount it onto a wall. Be sure to customize the installation that meets your comfort. A wide lighting surface This unit is large enough, meaning that you are not confined in one area when using it. You can enjoy your therapy session and still run another errand around the house. Warranty The lamp has an impressive seven-year warranty to the original owner Cons Too heavy hindering portability Requires a power code and cannot be used without connection Customers' reviews With over 100 positive reviews, users of this product have been wowed by its competency in dealing with various problems. Most users coping with seasonal depression gave this therapy lamp a rating of 4-5. Below are some of the reviews Caiti Weiser highly recommended this product for its brightness and gave it a 5-star rating. This is what she wrote: "The light from this thing is crazy bright, and I mean that in the best way. When I have it turned on in my living room I can't even tell if my regular lamps are off or on. When I use it in the evening, I find myself closing the curtains. otherwise, I feel like I'm performing on stage for anyone who walks or drives by my windows-- it's that bright!" Another user by the name Jean expressed her love for this lightbox by writing: "I suffer from SAD, so my husband bought me this light. The changes were subtle at first, but then I realized how much more motivated I had become. I was engaging in activities that I typically avoid during the dreary winter months." [su_button url="https://www.amazon.com/Bright-Light-Therapy-Box-Northern/dp/B003OWJCIM/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=sl1&tag=cosmeticnew00-20&linkId=87b45a0932b9d4ba6b5990d00c9318f9" target="blank" rel="nofollow" background="#fd710d" size="6" icon="icon: hand-o-right" icon_color="#ffffff"]Buy from Amazon.com[/su_button] Alaska Northern Lights - Aurora Lightpad Mini [amazon box="B00ZQ30YOS" grid="1"] This is a compact light therapy device that produces a light intensity of 10,000 lux at about 25 inches. The light weighs only 9 ounces and has small size dimensions of 0.5 by 7.5 by 5.25 inches making it highly portable. The lightbox comes in the size of an iPad mini and is fitted with a single power button that regulates brightness as well. A kickstand is used to support the device and has 13 different angle options which mean you can tilt to your desired position. The lightbox, however, cannot tilt on its own. The stylish SAD lamp with its clean lines and compact design is an added accessory to your home or office. It will blend so seamlessly with the other décor. The Aurora lightpad Mini is easy to use and does not require excessive set up. You can use it right out of the box. You only need to attach the power cord, plug it into a power source and you are good to go! This lamp has an incredible 7-year warranty, a feature that sets it apart from others of its caliber. It gives you peace of mind to know that your device is guaranteed to serve its full purpose for the next seven years. It is known to be the best lightbox therapy box for psoriasis. Pros 10,000 Lux at 25" The Aurora Lightpad Mini emits an unbelievably high-intensity light for its small size. The light is impressively bright despite the setting. The 25 inches distance is decent enough as other units would need a closer range to produce that intensity. Compact design The lightbox comes in a modern lightweight sleek design the size of an iPad Mini. This makes it easy to carry around and also fits well in small spaces. UV-Free light You do not need a UV blocker when using this unit. The broad-spectrum light is very safe for your eyes. Easy to set up and use No extended set-up procedures needed for this light therapy device. It comes with a power code, and all you do is plug it to the power source and enjoy your sessions. The single power buttons which also regulate settings ensure that you use your device with the utmost ease. Warranty The incomparable seven-year warranty gives you relieve of knowing that your device will serve you without any complications. Visually attractive The Aurora Lightpad Mini is good-looking. It will add a touch of sophistication to your living spaces without sticking out. Cons Can get too warm and burn your hands when touched It is expensive Lacks many essential features. For example, it lacks a timer and cannot be hanged on the wall It is not height adjustable Customers' Reviews Majority of users gave this lamp a 5-star review. There were amazed at how much light it can provide despite its small size. Here is what some of the users had to say. Daisy70 gave the lamp a 5-star rate. This is what she had to say: "As for the light, I love it. It's just the right size and can be adjusted with the included stand to many different angles. I LOVE that you can be a full 2 feet away from the light and still reap the benefits of the 10,000 lux! I noticed a difference after the very first use in my energy levels and alertness. I plan to use this every day till spring!" Another customer, Geneva Miller, said "I have been diagnosed with bipolar1, deep depression (including SAD), and adjustment disorder with anxiety. My light arrived three days ago and has had two therapy sessions with it and sees a difference already. I am currently using it for 15 minutes first thing after I take my dog outside in the morning, and I can see an improvement in my mood swings. Thanks for making a compact easy to use and travel light so I can take it with me no matter where I go." Aurora Lightpad Mini offers an exceptionally effective light therapy SAD and other seasonal disorders. It beats the majority of larger lamps and offers you value for your money. It is a highly recommended device with positive outcomes. [su_button url="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZQ30YOS/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=sl1&tag=cosmeticnew00-20&linkId=ffd12a4cca479eac5d7a0fcbf3bfc21c" target="blank" rel="nofollow" background="#fd710d" size="6" icon="icon: hand-o-right" icon_color="#ffffff"]Buy from Amazon.com[/su_button] Circadian Optics Lumos 2.0 Light Therapy Lamp [amazon box="B01IU9MMPI" grid="1"] This is one of the most sought after lamps according to its manufacturers mainly because it comes loaded with a set of useful features. It gives a light intensity of 10,000 and a color temperature of 5500K. It is very competent in combating SAD, jet lag, insomnia, fatigue, and winter blues. The white full spectrum light is UV free, which means you do not have to worry about damage to your eyes or skin. Also, this light is incredibly flexible. It has 3 hinges and a panel that can rotate up to 270 degrees making it extensively flexible and customizable. You can tilt the panel to your comfort and enjoy the maximum benefit of this great light. Furthermore, the three adjustable brightness settings allow you to customize the most acceptable brightness level according to your preference and ambient. The LED bulbs are placed around the edges of the panel, and therefore you do have to look at the light directly during your sessions. Interestingly, these energy-efficient LED bulbs have an unbelievably 50,000-hour lifespan, meaning that you will never have to replace them! The new upgraded models come with an improved adapter plug-in. The shorter, larger plug-in pin fits tightly into the lamp, minimizing the chances of disconnection. Read Full Review: Circadian Optics Lumine Light Therapy Lamp Reviews Pros Very flexible and configurable This lamp is very adjustable thanks to its three hinges. Its light panel rotates at 270 degrees so that you can position the light in a way that maximizes your therapy benefits. 10,000 Lux This is the recommended brightness by experts for effective light therapy. Bulbs that last for approximately 50,000 This is good news for your budget and also to the environment. Full spectrum-UV Free, white light The light produced is safe and bright like the noonday sun. Compact design This light is portable, and you carry it to work or when you travel. Cons Quite pricey Customers' reviews. Most users had positive things to say about this lamp. This is what some had to say Amazing wrote: "First time reviewing a project, but this one deserves it. It has changed my life. I struggled with SEVERE insomnia for over a year. I finally met the right doctor who suspected I was struggling with a much delayed circadian rhythm and told me to get a light like this one. I use it for about 30 minute's right when I wake up. Within two weeks, I was off Ativan and getting some of the best sleep of my life." R.Macgow gave this lamp a 5-star and wrote. "I have struggled with SAD ever since I moved to Seattle, but this year has been particularly difficult. I was worried that this small light wouldn't work for me. Boy was I wrong! The first day I used it, I felt like I'd drank a whole pot of coffee. I was so hyper I couldn't sit down. My house was spotless that day. The hyperactivity, along with some eye strain and moderate headaches, lasted a couple of weeks while my brain got back to normal. Now I feel great every day. I have loads of energy and sleep well every night." [su_button url="https://www.amazon.com/Circadian-Optics-Therapy-Bright-Spectrum/dp/B01IU9MMPI/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=sl1&tag=cosmeticnew00-20&linkId=c1fb5b1a1176d9710fb7d999415af6f7" target="blank" rel="nofollow" background="#fd710d" size="6" icon="icon: hand-o-right" icon_color="#ffffff"]Buy from Amazon.com[/su_button] What to look when buying a SAD light therapy box You or a significant other has been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the doctor has advised that you should get a light therapy box. Here are four tips to ensure that you get a device that will serve you effectively. The SAD lamp should be medically certified. Ensure that your device is certified and registered by the Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency. This is the only way you can be sure to buy a safe SAD light Bulbs or LEDs You may have to choose between the traditional SAD bulbs and the modern LEDs. The choice has to do with the pricing as the LEDs are more expensive. However, bulbs require frequent replacing and you may want to factor that in. Visual Appearance The fact that you are using these blue light therapy boxes for medical purposes does not mean they should be dull and boring. Choose one that blends perfectly with your unique style. Price The higher the intensity of a SAD light the pricier it is. However, this means that you spend less time during treatment. You may, therefore, consider paying more if you have less time for treatment. Conclusion SAD light therapy boxes are a saving grace to individuals suffering from this condition to get through cold, dark winter months. Light therapy boxes produce high-intensity light that mimics the natural sunlight to keep the body energized and invigorated. The light therapy boxes are brighter than your regular lights and have been designed to produce up to 10,000 lux of light intensity. Using the lights mentioned above for 30-60 minutes will help ease SAD, sleep disorders, and jetlag. Read Next: Best Infrared Light Therapy Devices Reviews Bài viết đã xuất hiện lần đầu tiên tại https://www.cosmeticnews.com/light-therapy-box/?feed_id=1928&_unique_id=5e6dd95d1fd57 #cosmeticnews #janebrody #haircare #makeup #skincare #skinconcern #beautydevices

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lady-divine-writes · 7 years

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Klaine fic - “All the Beautiful Pieces” (Rated NC17)

Blaine Anderson is spending the summer after graduation flipping houses with his brother for Cooper’s total home renovation show. The show features the worst houses Cooper can buy, with Blaine playing the role of lackey so that Cooper can torture him in front of his viewers. The last house Blaine has to renovate is an original Victorian House in San Diego, CA, which is in terrible condition. But this house turns out to be more than just another job. It was once owned by a famous Vaudeville ventriloquist by the name of Andrew Smythe. It houses a very interesting collection of items - among them, two life-sized puppets. Blaine isn’t sure exactly why, but he’s drawn to them - especially to the one with the beautiful blue eyes. He convinces Cooper to give him the puppets, and Blaine starts to restore them. In the course of the restoration, Blaine finds out that neither puppet is simply a run-of-the-mill puppet, and Andrew Smythe was hiding a secret that will be the key to saving two lives.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (6811 words)

Blaine pulls up to the house at a quarter after ten. It looks exactly the way he left it, horrendous paintjob and all, but with the addition of a U-Haul truck parked by the curb, and a grown man wearing a navy blue polo and retro 1980s acid wash jeans staring in at the window with his hands pressed to the glass. From the back, he looks like an oversized Cabbage Patch kid, but in the reflection of the window, he more closely resembles a young Karl Marx with the iconic frizzy beard.

“Blaine,” the man plaintively moans. “Blaine, where are you? Open the door…”

Blaine shakes his head when he sees him, chuckling at his woeful wail. Blaine parks in front of the house, but the man doesn’t notice, focused as intently as he is on the living room full of toys, visible through the curtains that Blaine neglected to pull closed the night before.

“Gary!” Blaine calls out as he steps out of his minivan. “Have some self-respect, man.”

“Blaine!” Gary exclaims. He spins around, face glowing with childlike excitement, but his voice tinged with exasperation at being kept waiting. “You can’t leave me out here with all those toys inside, begging for me to take them away from this awful house.” Gary presses his ear against the glass. “I can hear them, Blaine,” he says as Blaine approaches the door. “They’re saying Gary…come rescue us, Gary. We need you…”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says, sorting through his key ring for the correct key. “I got held up.”

“Yeah” - Gary flashes a knowing grin and a wink - “your brother told me all about it. Getting into the puppet biz, huh, Blaine?”

Blaine makes a disgusted face and turns away from Gary to unlock the door. “Jesus Christmas! You, too?” Blaine pushes the door in as far as he can. He grabs a broken ottoman to prop it open.

Gary walks in behind Blaine, but stops inside the doorway, his eyes wide with awe, his jaw dropped, a hand raised to cover his heart.

“I can’t…I can’t believe it,” he says dramatically, staring at the heaps of toys and the stacks of boxes. “It’s…it’s amazing.”

“Yeah,” Blaine agrees, pulling his webcam out of his pocket and switching it on, “and this isn’t even half of it.”

Gary whimpers. Blaine trains the camera on his face.

“It’s like a dream come true,” Gary whispers, wiping an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye.

“Snap out of it, Gary.” Blaine snaps his fingers in the air above the webcam. “You have to do your spiel.”

Gary startles out of his trance at the unpleasant noise.

“Right, right…” He tugs down on the hem of his polo to straighten out the wrinkles (not that it does any good, or that they matter compared to the mustard stain on his collar) and looks into the camera. “When should I…”

“Now,” Blaine says, launching straight into the segment. “Hello, guys, gals, and Internet pals (Cooper’s tagline; Blaine had nothing to do with it). This is Blaine Anderson, coming to you from day 2 of our renovation. I’m here with our good friend Gary Shepton…” Gary gives the camera a timid wave, his eyes bouncing between Blaine and the webcam, unsure where to look even though they’ve done this several times before already “…and he’s going to be appraising the toys in the house. Gary, please tell our viewers what exactly it is you’re going to be doing while you’re here.”

“I’m going to start off by photographing and cataloging,” Gary explains. He pulls an iPad mini tablet out of his back pocket and holds it up. He accesses an empty Excel document and shows it to the camera. “When I’m done, I’ll load up the toys that I can sell immediately into my U-Haul and take them to my shop. In the interim, I’m going to send Cooper a detailed inventory of all the toys, their conditions, and their estimated values.”

“How will you get that information?” Blaine asks, again taping filler for Cooper to use in case he runs a few minutes short of his time slot.

“I use Google Goggles and other appraisal specific Internet surfing software to help me research the items I’m looking at fairly quickly. One photograph and I can bring up the information I need.” Gary switches to a program on his tablet and turns on a demo that illustrates the technique. “It makes researching a lot easier and more accurate. It can also put me in contact with other appraisers who have encountered the same items, who might have some insight that could be useful. Cuts down on the possibility of accidentally dealing in counterfeit merchandise.” Gary smirks. “I wish I had this five years ago, I’ll tell you what. Would have saved me a ton of money on my AT&T bill, tracking that information down one phone call at a time.”

“We have rooms and rooms full of toys in this house. How long do you think that’s going to take?” Blaine asks, his question a veiled way of finding out how long they’re going to be there.

“Most of the day, if I’m lucky,” Gary says with a dreamy sigh.

Great, Blaine thinks, hoping that Kurt and Sebastian don’t get too bored watching old movies all day long.

Yup, bored puppets. Because that’s a definite possibility.

“Okay,” Blaine says, switching off the webcam while trying not to sound too disappointed. “I have some things to do in the house and some phone calls to make. If you need me, just holler.”

“Will do,” Gary says, his attention already drawn to a stack of vintage Barbie dolls in the far corner.

Blaine watches him go, shaking his head at the odd man.

“Have fun,” he says, watching Gary put on a pair of white cotton gloves and get to work.

***

Unlike dealing with Cooper’s other project houses, which were a simple matter of calling in a clean-up crew to get rid of the garbage and occasionally coming across a gem or two that they could sell, this house is a complicated mishmash of treasures and antiques, coupled with the fairly typical, grotesque trash. Blaine needs to pull out his whole metaphorical Rolodex of contacts for this project. He needs to find someone to unload the heavy tools in the basement, someone else to appraise the sports memorabilia upstairs, and he needs to order a temporary storage unit for the furniture. Authentic Victorian furnishings are highly coveted, which makes them hard to locate, and ultimately expensive when you find someone willing to part with them. He intends on keeping anything he can salvage and repurposing it for the renovation.

The upstairs bedrooms are going to be the easiest rooms to renovate by far. It’s a given that Cooper is going to want to sell the baseball pennants and the bat, and probably the opera posters, too. There’s a huge market for those vintage posters, especially ones in mint condition with bright colors like these posters have. But the furniture will stay.

A pit blossoms in Blaine’s stomach at the thought of dismantling Kurt’s bedroom.

Blaine had originally thought that the workshop in the basement where the puppets were made was the heart of the house. After he saw the bedrooms, he realized he was wrong. The upstairs rooms, so well-tended, adorned with carefully chosen mementos – those rooms are the heart of the house.

Blaine feels sick at the idea of tearing that heart apart.

But he has Kurt, he reminds himself. He saved Kurt…and Sebastian…and that’s all that matters.

Yes, all that matters is my burgeoning insanity and a future on tabloid talk shows, he acknowledges ruefully.

Blaine heads down the hallway to the dining room, smiling to himself when he hears Gary chirp in triumph at some amazing doll-related discovery.

“They had the whole Bob Mackie for Barbie collection? Sweet!”

Blaine heads up the stairs to the next level, but bypasses the bedrooms, opting to start in the attic. They spent practically no time up there yesterday during the walkthrough. Blaine wants to get a better look at the neat stacks of boxes and the furnishings that were kept up there. He knows he’ll have to deal with those latent memories in the bedrooms eventually, plus the possibility of another fantasy involving Kurt, so for now, he’ll start with the easy-to-handle stuff.

Blaine switches the webcam to still-camera mode as he heads up the last flight of stairs. There doesn’t appear to be a light switch up here, but sunlight floods in through a large circular vent in the outer wall, making the whole room warm and bright.

Blaine puts on a pair of his own protective gloves and examines the furniture items stored up there closely – a stand-up lamp with what looks like a Tiffany shade; another table lamp with a pleated, cream-fabric shade, sitting on a squat, cherry wood end table that had most likely been in the living room at some point; four chairs that belonged to the dining room table downstairs; and a matching pair of Queen Victoria wing chairs, upholstered in a cream fabric imprinted with gold ivy leaves.

Blaine photographs each piece, mentally fixing where he wants to put them in the house. He wonders if Kurt would have liked one of those wing chairs in his room, or maybe the stand-up lamp next to his sewing machine while he worked. What kinds of clothes did he sew? Did he make outfits for himself, or did he maybe make clothes and sell them?

Or perhaps he worked in the theater, designing costumes. Those posters in his room could be from performances he worked on.

Blaine smiles, imagining Kurt as a student at McKinley, working on the costumes for the musical Blaine starred in his junior year – West Side Story. They could have chatted while Kurt took his measurements, discussed what outfits Kurt could see Tony wearing during certain scenes and why. What insights might he have had on Tony and Maria’s motivations, and how would he have portrayed that through their costumes? Blaine always felt that the people in charge of wardrobes on certain television shows understand the characters better than the writers do sometimes. What would Kurt have to say about that?

Blaine moves the standing lamp into better lighting while he daydreams of afternoons spent with Kurt after school, talking over fittings between rehearsals. Blaine could picture himself asking Kurt to help him run through his lines while he built up the nerve to ask Kurt out on a date…provided, of course, that Kurt liked guys that way. Blaine can’t shake the feeling he did. Blaine sighs. Didn’t he get on Cooper’s case for making assumptions about the sexual identity of the person who inhabited Kurt’s room? Blaine doesn’t want to be a hypocrite, but for some reason he can’t help doing the same thing. Everything he sees, everything he touches is a clue to who these people were, the same as in every house, but with Kurt…there’s an impression Blaine gets that has nothing to do with the posters or the sewing machine. It’s like he feels Kurt in this house. A part of him is there, telling Blaine about him; things that Blaine wouldn’t otherwise infer from the stuff lying around. But it’s not as simple as that, either. This impression of Kurt, it’s not passively hiding in individual objects, waiting to be uncovered. Blaine feels like it’s following him, guiding him, the same way he did when he first went down to the basement.

Whatever secret this house holds that has to do with Kurt, it wants to be revealed.

Blaine repositions the lamp shade so that the sunlight streams through the dark glass and takes a picture. He’s all set to take another picture when, out of the corner of his eye, he spots peculiar markings along one side of the boxes. Blaine pockets his webcam and walks over to take a look. He runs a gloved finger over one line of writing. It’s difficult to read because whatever marker had been used to write this has bled into the cardboard, but a skeleton of the words remains.

Blaine has seen this before. He wishes he had brought one of the photographs from the album at the beach house with him to compare against. He had thought about carrying Kurt’s picture in his pocket, but he didn’t want to ruin it. These nearly unreadable words, hastily scribbled by a hand that probably didn’t spend too much time writing, look identical to the writing on the backs of the photographs.

Blaine tears into the first box. The interlocking flaps, softened by age and dampness, pop up with little effort. The very top of the box is layered in newspaper, faded where the inch-wide seam between the loose flaps exposed it to sunlight but otherwise intact. Blaine digs through the pages, catching sight of conflicting dates. The newspaper on top is the most recent, albeit from about thirty years ago, but a few layers down the dates get older. Beneath them, Blaine finds a wealth of leather bound books. Blaine lifts the ones on top to peek underneath.

Yup, more books.

Blaine frowns.

A lot of people collect vintage books. That’s not unusual. It just seems too normal for this house. Blaine isn’t sure what he expected to find in this box, but it wasn’t boring books. Blaine picks one up anyway to examine it.

At least Cooper will be thrilled. He has a guy in L.A. who buys rare books, and considering all the other collectibles in the house, these books are probably first editions.

Blaine opens the cover and turns to a random page.

January 18th –

I’ll never get used to the weather in Seattle. Always so wet, always so dreary. I much prefer the California coast with its sunshine and warmth. And the ocean. God, I love the ocean. If only we could find a place to settle down there where we all can be happy. I miss you guys. Every day I miss you guys. I’ll never forgive myself for missing the most important day of our lives…and I did it again. But I’m trying to make a new life for us, doll, and when I break into the big time, it’s going to be the best of the best for the Smythe family.

Blaine stops reading. He looks at the black leather cover, the spine bare except for a gold embossed number – 1915.

These aren’t just books, Blaine realizes. They’re journals.

Blaine reaches into the box and looks at the books again, each one similar, each with a different year embossed along the spine – 1916, 1917, 1918, 1919…

It doesn’t seem like there’s an end to them. Blaine returns the book, pulls the box down from the stack, and goes for the next box. The flaps spring open as if they have been waiting years for someone to come along and find them, and a strong smell escapes.

A burnt smell, like coals left over after a barbecue.

No newspapers cover these. Blaine picks up the first journal on top. The date on the spine is worn flat and almost too difficult to read. He traces his finger over it, revealing an imprint of the number 1932. Blaine examines his glove covered digit. The cotton is stained black by a layer of fine ash. He raises the book to his nose and takes a tentative sniff.

It smells like a fireplace.

Blaine looks the journal over thoroughly. The gold rind on the pages is singed, and parts of the leather cover are burnt. Blaine opens the book to a page in the middle.

November 24 –

It’s Thanksgiving Day, but there’s nothing to be thankful for. Everything is gone. All of it, my entire life, gone. I would bring you all back if I could. I would trade everything that I said and did to make it all right again.

The paragraph cuts off there with a long, violent swipe of black ink cutting across the page, leaving an impression so deep that the tip of the pen sliced through the paper. Blaine turns the page to look for another entry but there’s nothing. No entry for November 25, none for November 26, no other entries for the rest of the month. Blaine keeps flipping the pages, but the book is blank until Christmas Day.

December 25 –

Merry Christmas to all those I love who are no longer here with me. I feel your presence every day, haunting me, but it’s not the same.

That’s the last entry for the remainder of the year.

Blaine stares at the blank page labeled December 31st.

It seems so empty, so final.

Blaine wishes there was something written there – anything. Something that tells him that despite it all, despite this obvious pain, life continued on and good things happened.

Blaine turns back to the beginning of the journal, to the earlier entries for the year.

February 14 –

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I miss you so much that I don’t think that I could even begin to tell you. I made your favorite dinner, bought a bottle of that God awful wine you loved so much, and ate alone. Well, not alone. Kurt was here with me. I love that boy and I appreciate his company, but it wasn’t the same as having you here. Meanwhile, Sebastian went out drinking…again. He takes a little too much after me, I’m afraid. He’s going to get some floozy knocked up, and then what? He’ll get chained down with a brood of simpering brats and no future. That’s not what you wanted for him, and it’s not what I want for him, but he doesn’t listen to me.

The sad thing is that I’m past the point where I think I care anymore.

Blaine feels his throat tighten as he reads on, blowing through a bunch of pages, letting the book lead him to where he should read next.

March 6 –

Everyone is telling me to pack it in. They tell me that it’s over, but I refuse to believe it. So maybe the work isn’t out there the way it was, but we’ve suffered dry patches before. The audiences will come back. Once they realize these talkies are just a gimmick, they’ll return. They always do. They’ll be begging us to perform for them, and we’ll be able to name our price. The money will flow in ten deep, I’m sure…but if they don’t, what will I tell my boys? How do I tell them it’s over? That the world thinks we’re finished?

“What?” Blaine asks the book, thumbing through the pages and hoping he’ll magically stumble on the answer. “What’s over?”

Blaine scans the pages, but he’s overwhelmed by the amount of entries and the nearly indecipherable script. He looks at the boxes stacked in front of him. There are six total. They can’t all be full of books, can they? Did whoever wrote in these journals write one for every year of his life?

There’s only one way to find out. Blaine would have to read through them all.

The boxes are going home with him.

Blaine repacks the box and hoists it into his arms.

It’s a treacherous trip down the narrow stairs with this box of books he’s carrying, but as with the puppets, there’s a compulsion within him to see this through. Whatever went on here, these books are a clue he’ll need to solve the mystery. He can’t leave them behind.

Blaine walks into the dining room and shuffles across the floor, down the hallway and into the living room, which has become emptier now that Gary has started loading the dolls into his U-Haul. Less clutter means more room for the house to breathe. The atmosphere in the downstairs level already seems lighter.

Blaine carries the box out to his minivan. He balances it between the door and his leg in order to fish his keys out of his pocket and open the back hatch. He puts the box in his trunk, shoving it over as far as he can to one side to make room for the others. He doesn’t shut the hatch completely before rushing back inside for another box.

“How’s it goin’, Gare?” Blaine asks as he blows past the man heading toward the front door, his arms laden with pink boxes. Blaine asks the question, but doesn’t stop to wait for an answer.

“I never want to leave,” Gary calls after him.

Blaine grumbles to himself, “Well, you’re gonna.”

One by one, Blaine carries the boxes of books down to his van, eager to go through each box and unlock whatever secret these journals may hold.

As he carries the last box through the living room, he remembers that he’s supposed to be filming Gary working, and to a lesser extent, himself.

“When I come back in, I need to film you, Gary,” Blaine yells to the man unloading the toys in the downstairs bathroom.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Gary replies. “By the way, I think your brother is going to be really happy with the numbers I’m going to send him.”

“That good?” Blaine asks, stopping for a moment out of curiosity.

“Oh, yeah,” Gary says. “Most of this stuff is going to be no problem to move. I have a guy who’s looking for half the stuff I’ve found already, and he’s willing to pay higher than market price. I think he’s reselling them in Japan or something. He’ll probably get ten times as much over there.”

“Wow,” Blaine says, genuinely impressed.

“Yeah. If I were you, I’d ask for a raise.”

Blaine swallows. Too late for that, he thinks. God knows he could have used the money, too. But he’s not about to unload on Gary – not about this.

“I’ll do that,” Blaine says instead and heads out to his van.

All six boxes fit, shoved against each other tight without a single centimeter of space between them. The rear of his minivan sinks about a foot beneath the weight.

He closes the trunk, intent on heading back into the house right as a silver Lexus pulls up to the curb. Blaine doesn’t recognize the car and waits to see who it is. Maybe a neighbor stopping by to see what the activity is about. Blaine hasn’t met anyone from the neighborhood yet, which seems peculiar. Not one lookie loo. Not a single nosy neighbor.

The Lexus parks in front of Blaine’s Honda, nearly bumper to bumper. The driver’s door opens and a woman steps out, but she doesn’t acknowledge Blaine. She may not even realize that he’s standing there with the way she has her gaze honed in on the house in front of her. When she stands completely, she’s an inch or two taller than Blaine. She’s dressed to intimidate in a tailored, aubergine suit. A billowy, white shirt underneath the jacket lends an air of femininity to her starched ensemble. She has sleek, auburn hair styled in a bob that falls an inch above her earlobes. Her tan looks artificial – too perfect, too even, and a touch too orange, but everything about her appearance has been meticulously thought out. She seems put together with exceptionally clean angles, from the razor cut of her hair, to the severe downturn of her mouth and her sharp, pointed chin.

“So, it finally sold,” she says, shaking her head with blatant disapproval. “I almost didn’t believe it when I heard.”

“Uh, may I help you?” Blaine asks. He walks toward her, reaching for his webcam, but the scowl on the woman’s face causes him to reconsider whether or not he should record this conversation for his brother’s show. She turns only her head and looks Blaine over from head to foot with an unamused half-smile/half-frown playing on her lips.

“I don’t know,” she says curtly. “Can you?”

Blaine jerks back at her impolite and, frankly, adolescent response. “I probably can if you tell me…”

“My name is Catherine Dorst,” she interrupts. “I’m a liaison for the San Diego Historical Society, and I’m curious to know what the new owners have planned for this house.”

“I’m Blaine Anderson.” Blaine offers the woman a cordial smile and his hand. She looks him over again and scoffs, turning back to the house.

“Okay,” Blaine starts, pulling his hand away, “well, we plan to bring the house back to its original design,” he says confidently. “We’re going to keep all the original structural details and…”

“We?” she interrupts again with a smirk, examining Blaine shrewdly. “You and who else? I mean, how old are you? Twelve?”

“Uh, no,” he says, ducking his head and adopting what tries to be a polite smile. He doesn’t take too much offense since looking younger than his age is a boon in his chosen profession. “Cooper Anderson bought the house for his home renovation show. I’m his brother. I’m in charge of the renovation.”

Her eyes pop open, still glaring at him, but with an excited expression on her face.

“Cooper Anderson?” she asks. “The Cooper Anderson?”

Blaine sighs. Oh boy. A fan.

“The one and only,” he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“I’ve seen him on TV,” she says, straightening her suit and fussing with her hair. “Is he here?” She starts up the walk as Gary walks out with another armload of dolls, humming to himself and laughing at odd intervals. She glances at him with a grimace but keeps on walking.

“No,” Blaine replies, tailing after her, “he’s not here. He’s in L.A.”

She stops short and stares at the open door, deciding whether or not it’s worth going inside and checking for herself. When she spots Gary walking back to the house, brushing grey dust off the legs of his jeans, she comes to the conclusion that risking similar damage to her $1200 suit isn’t worth it.

“Shame,” she says, turning back around and heading for her car. She crooks a finger over her shoulder, summoning Blaine to follow. “The Historical Society has been trying to buy this house for a while now, but I guess it just wasn’t in the stars.” She opens her passenger side door and pulls out a leather briefcase. Resting it on the roof of her Lexus, she dials the combination to the lock. When the lid snaps open, she pulls out a manila file full of paperwork. “Since this is a historical point of interest, we have some recommendations for the renovation, a list of materials we ask that you use, a request form to put the address of the house on our tour list…”

“What list?” Blaine asks, taking the papers that she thrusts in his direction.

“Our website lists the addresses of authentic Victorian houses in the county for people to drive by and look at. You’re not required to add the Smythe House to the list, of course, but that doesn’t mean people won’t find you and drop by anyway. At least if you are listed on our website, people will have to abide by the rules we lay down to protect your privacy.”

Blaine’s eyes flick up from the papers in front of him. “Smythe House?”

“Andrew Smythe,” Catherine says. “He bought this house back in the mid-30s.”

Smythe. The same name that’s on the Little League jersey in the bedroom upstairs.

“Who was Andrew Smythe?” Blaine asks, giving Catherine his undivided attention.

She rolls her eyes. “Did you even Google this house before you started tearing into it?” she asks bitterly.

“I only first saw it yesterday,” Blaine says, trying not to sound too defensive. “And I haven’t torn into it. We’re in the process of clearing it out. I intend on taking my time to get this renovation right. I was actually planning on dropping by your offices myself later on this week for some advice.”

Catherine stands up an inch straighter, visibly impressed. “Well then…Andrew Smythe was one of the last great Vaudevillians of his time,” she explains with a smidgen more respect, but for him or for Andrew, Blaine doesn’t venture a guess, “as well as one of Vaudeville’s staunchest supporters.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Catherine shuts her briefcase and puts it back in her car, closing the door to lean against it while she speaks. “He was one of those precious few who were holding on with both hands, waiting for Vaudeville to make a revival.” She crosses her arms, and her eyes go slightly unfocused, recalling a memory. “Vaudeville took a lot from Andrew, like it did from other performers.”

Blaine has a feeling he knows what she’s referring to, but he asks anyway. “What did it take?”

Catherine gazes over Blaine’s head at the house with a sorrowful look in her eyes before she answers. “His wife,” she says heavily, “and his sons.”

“He had sons?” It’s both a question and a declaration. Blaine is stitching up the clues he already knows, adding Catherine’s confirmation to the seams.

“Yes. Two. Though there was speculation that one of them wasn’t his son.”

Blaine narrows his eyelids at the woman staring past him at the house. “Were their names…Kurt and Sebastian?”

Those names seem to snap her out of her haze, her eyes shooting down to meet his. “Yes, they were.” She smiles. “It looks like you may have done some homework after all.”

Blaine is about to mention the puppets in the basement and the journals from the attic, but he holds his tongue. He doesn’t want Catherine asking to see them…or possibly to take them. This house was declared a historical landmark before Cooper bought it. According to the auction company he purchased the property from, everything inside the house belongs to him, but if it has historical significance, can Catherine claim it? Blaine is iffy on the legalities of their situation, so he says nothing. He’s not willing to part with his puppets – to part with Kurt - or these new clues that he’s found.

“Look,” Catherine says, her turn to break Blaine from his thoughts, “I apologize if I’m being a little touchy about this, but we were supposed to be the first ones contacted when the owner died. We were poised to buy this house, but the bank moved straight to auction and we were never informed…”

Catherine’s comment strikes a chord – something Blaine read in the paperwork his brother sent him that doesn’t match up to Catherine’s story about Andrew Smythe owning the house.

“Okay, but what I don’t understand is” - Blaine interrupts this time, feeling an ease to do so - “my brother bought the house at auction, but the owner prior to the bank is listed as…Terry? Tricia?”

Catherine shakes her head as a breeze picks its way through her auburn bob, blowing a few strands in her face. “Teresa,” she corrects, brushing the hair from her eyes. “Teresa Calhoun. She was named on the deed to the house as his niece.”

“So, Andrew had a sister?” Blaine asks hopefully, interested in finding a living relative who might know the story of Andrew and his sons.

“No, Andrew Smythe had no other family according to public record. I don’t think she was a blood relative. Vaudeville performers were a tight knit group. I think Teresa was dumped off on Andrew because there was no one else to care for the girl, and he couldn’t say no. But by that point, he didn’t quite have all his ducks in a row, if you catch my drift, and with good reason.” Catherine sighs. It’s a fretful sound. “I don’t think he sent her to school. I don’t think she even left the house.”

Catherine pauses, watching Gary emerge through the front door while Blaine stands by quietly, waiting for her to continue.

“Before Andrew died, he tried to make arrangements for Teresa, but she had no other relatives, and she couldn’t live on her own. Without a guardian, she would have been committed. So he contacted us, and we worked together to have the house declared a historical landmark.”

“I heard Victorian houses were a hot commodity out here,” Blaine interjects.

“They are, but being a historical landmark, she would be safe to live out the rest of her life here. There were some requirements with regard to the house’s upkeep that Andrew still had to fulfill. We had discussed plans for turning the house into a Vaudeville museum eventually, but Andrew died before we could finalize the paperwork. After that, Teresa wouldn’t answer the door when we came by, and she never picked up the phone.” A veil of longing clouds Catherine’s eyes. “You know, Andrew bought this place pretty much right after his sons died. I think it was a way for him to try and start over. Maybe he was considering starting another family. I don’t know. But I hope whoever buys this house knows what it’s worth.”

“I’ll make sure my brother finds someone worthy of it,” Blaine says. The moment the words come out of his mouth, he commits them as a vow. Usually Blaine doesn’t concern himself with who buys the renovated houses off of his brother once he’s done with them, but he can’t let just anyone buy this house…not now.

“See that you do,” Catherine says with a wink, extending a hand his way. “It was nice meeting you, Blaine.”

Blaine takes her hand and shakes it. “It was nice meeting you, too.”

She smiles at him, takes one last look at the house, and then climbs back into her Lexus. She starts the engine, but doesn’t pull away from the curb. She rolls down her passenger side window and leans across the seats.

“Oh, Blaine? One more thing.”

“Yes?”

“We still have an exhibit down at our main offices on the history of Vaudeville in San Diego, but we are desperately short on any actual artifacts. If you come across something in there that you think you can part with, would you give me a call?” Catherine reaches into her glove box, pulls out a business card, and hands it through the window to Blaine.

“Sure.” A spark of possessiveness lights in Blaine’s chest, almost as if she had asked for his puppets outright. “Anything in particular you’re looking for?”

“Anything really,” she says with a non-committal twist of her lips. “Posters, costumes…if you guys find Sammy, and your brother is willing to part with him, I’d be extra special grateful.” Her words sound oddly suggestive, but Blaine lets it go.

“Sammy?” Blaine scrunches his nose.

“Andrew’s puppet,” Catherine clarifies. “His main puppet, I should say. After Andrew left Vaudeville, no one saw Sammy again. I would love to see him resurface.”

“So, Andrew Smythe was a ventriloquist.” Blaine reads the words on the business card before sticking it in his back pocket. “Were Kurt and Sebastian ventriloquists, too?”

“Sebastian was” - Catherine sits up in her seat, preparing to drive - “or his dad was training him to be. People say he wasn’t all that good at it.”

“And Kurt?”

“He sang. He was a countertenor - a rare talent. He would have been a headliner, too, only…” Catherine glances down at her steering wheel. “Well, I think you can guess.”

“Yeah. I can guess.”

Catherine raises a hand and waves at Blaine. Then she turns her Lexus around in the cul-de-sac and drives away.

Blaine stares at the papers in his hands. Every day at this house is going to be a new adventure in pain and heart break; he can feel it. Now along with Andrew and his sons, he can add the mysterious Teresa to the mix. But even with this new information, he has more questions and less answers than he did before. He stows the paperwork Catherine gave him in the van and returns to work, eager to wrap things up for the day and go already.

“Hey! I uncovered the fireplace,” Gary says, gesturing to a space in the far corner of the living room when Blaine re-enters the house.

“Fireplace? Oh, yeah…” Blaine had seen the chimney from the outside, but for some reason the idea of the house having a fireplace hadn’t occurred to him. A working fireplace will definitely tack higher digits to Cooper’s asking price. But that hollow recess in the living room wall made of soot baked bricks, the corpses of dead birds piled where logs normally would be, immediately brings to mind the burnt journal currently sitting in his trunk, waiting to be read. And he’s dying to read it. He groans, knowing he can’t leave until Gary is done with his work.

There’s got to be a way to get him to move faster.

Blaine spends the rest of the afternoon slogging through the busywork that he didn’t get done the day before. He makes his phone calls, schedules more appraisers to come down to the house, and orders a storage unit for the furniture. Then he putters around with Gary, taping him for Cooper’s show. He gets the brilliant idea to help him move the dolls to the U-Haul so he doesn’t just sit around and count the hours before he can return to the beach house and Kurt.

It’s a little before seven in the evening before Gary has to call it quits for the day, his eyes crossing every time he tries to read the print on another pink box. He begs Blaine for the opportunity to come back tomorrow and finish with the lot.

Blaine needs Gary to sell the toys. Did Gary really think Blaine would say no?

Blaine waves to Gary, watching the box truck pull away with its haul. Blaine is glad that those toys will find new homes, but seeing them go feels like carving away at the spirit of the house. But without them littering the floor, Blaine gets a better idea of what the house looked like when it was new. It wasn’t a glorified storage unit or a junk pile. It was a home, and this one might have been more full of hope than any Blaine has ever seen. It was supposed to be a way to start over.

Blaine wonders how far Andrew Smythe really got with that goal.

He peeks over at his trunk, filled with boxes of journals that might answer that question, ready to travel to the beach house.

That’s a lot of reading he’s got ahead of him.

Blaine starts locking up, making sure that the curtains are drawn this time around before he leaves to deter any other curious eyes, but just as he’s about to throw the deadbolt, he has a thought. He unlocks the door and heads back in, jogging upstairs to the bedrooms. He goes into Kurt’s room and retrieves the suit from the bed.

This suit was made for Kurt, and Blaine is eager to see him in it.

It still astounds Blaine how this suit seems so brand new, like it could have been made yesterday.

Blaine brings the fabric to his nose and sniffs it.

It even smells new; not like it’s ever sat in mothballs, even once. Blaine’s mother had inherited dresses of her grandmother’s that had been stored improperly in mothballs after she passed away. His parents had those dresses professionally repaired, but no amount of dry cleaning could get that odor out. It adheres to the fibers, embeds itself there.

But this suit simply smells like fabric.

Blaine examines it. He admires the weave and the stitching. Then he turns his attention to the rest of the room – the bed, the sewing machine, the dress form, the posters… Everything in here was tailored for Kurt, the way the other room was decorated specifically for Sebastian.

Everything looking brand spanking new…new and unused.

Blaine thinks over his conversation with Catherine, and as her words repeat in his head, he pulls the suit close to him, hugging it tight to his chest.

If Andrew Smythe bought this house to start over after his sons died, that means Kurt and Sebastian were never in these rooms.

Sebastian likely never wore that jersey, never saw that signed baseball bat or those pennants hanging on the wall.

Kurt never used the dress form, nor the sewing machine, even though the bobbins are full and the needle threaded.

They never opened their wardrobes, never slept in their beds.

Blaine gulps down the pit that’s been bouncing around in his stomach all day.

Kurt and Sebastian never set foot in this house.

This isn’t a bedroom he’s standing in.

It’s a shrine.

#klaine fanfiction #klaine fic #klaine #frankie writes

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caseyrose13 · 7 years

Text

Thank you.

Taylor Swift, this one is for you. I wrote this back in October when you celebrated the 10 year anniversary of your career, and this is my way of saying how much your presence and talent mean to me. I hope I can meet you one day and hope you enjoy this poem I wrote for you. I love you girl. 🖤 @taylorswift Yours truly, Casey Rose. Hello to you, my dear friend and cyber based big sis I have a few words for you, after meeting you ten years ago, And for how much you make me feel bliss Taylor Alison Swift, where do I even begin. From sparkles, surprises, and living parallel lives, To proving to everyone that women empowerment can truly win You are a typical star every girl dreams of being From your fashion sense, confidence, sweet manners, and lyrics It’s people like me and your fandom that feel life has so much meaning Ten years is a long time But if it weren’t for all your hard work and blessed talents I would’ve never been able to get through growing up without your clever rhymes It was ten years ago when god gave the world a precious gift Of a young woman born in 1989 And was destined to bring us all a little bit more uplifted I’ve always admired how relatable you are How every move you make in the studios and streets is perfection That even if you’re in your 20’s, your music expresses being a teenager at heart You value family, friendships, and fans the most You go out of your way to make a cancer diagnosed kid feel special inside Instead of inspiring kids and teenagers that it’s cool to do drugs on such a high dose On behalf of the fandom let me just say Though we’re far apart we’ll always give our real love And we’re thankful you reach out to us online and want say hey We’ve met internet friends from around the world because of you If anything we’re a fandom that always looks out for one another And for that we truly love you so Some fandoms are selfish to other ones, and some call people snakes But be proud to know yours spreads love and listens to one another I’ve never seen a fandom so sweet and one that knows how to properly handle hate The memories of laughter, albums, concert, awards and surprises, Are the ones I wish we could put on repeat This past decade with you has been a perfect fantasy Because of you I became a writer. Back in freshman year I was writing a sonnet and ran out of ideas, Until I looked and a colorful painting and thought of the line “we were in screaming color” I’ve grown up in the atmosphere of acting and musical theater. Emotions and love stories that never come out of the woods, Are reasons that make my soul meant to be a creator Just like you, when it comes to love I’m young and reckless I have the longest list of dashing ex lovers The rep I had in middle school was the same serial dater rep you have w/ the press I’ve made mistakes and dreamed of fairytale endings. I’ve jammed to too many break up records and watch too many chick flicks. And just like your 1989 era, the past year or so my heart has happily been dancing I’m thankful people like you exist. I love your clothes, friends, hair, and selfless acts When you die I will cry and I know an angel like you will surely be missed. You’re beautiful inside and out, You always put on a grammy winning show, You are part of the reason my happiness was found. You are mature, hardworking, smart and so loving to all, You’ve given warm hugs and all you fans kisses, Meredith and olivia are to die for your heart is anything but small Every performance you give you always 100% slay Every outfit and makeup product you own looks like it came from the runway Your super talented all these awards yet still so cute & awkwardly astray Your squad is goals and iconic all the same Our ears are blessed to hear your intelligent speeches and interviews You are so grounded and professional it’s almost insane The voice you have is soothing and satisfying I’m so proud that my icon is you And lucky that when needed at anytime, your music can release anxiety When it’s midnight on my sister’s bday, we’ll be singing the song 22 Dance around the kitchen and bake treats in our pjs Laugh away and hope all her wishes come true I have a whole playlist of 16 songs that’s titled Taylor Swift, With the anniversaries of red, speak now, 1989, and your very first album, I keep calling out to God lately, saying “long live this everlasting gift” A while ago I met some sweet girls from the fandom in an instagram DM chat They’re different and kind and spread joy from around the globe I love having a mini girl squad even if their time zone is 3 hours back Happy 10 years to a girl I love, Who will always be my friend even when traveling all over the world, I hope one day I can meet my idol and give her a big big hug. Happy ten years to charitable and giving soul, To someone who conquers those who hate Who stands up for herself, explores her curiosity, and is a grammy winning writer Happy ten years to the girl whos makes others smiles Who can relate to growing up as a young teenage girl And taught many that with cookies, close friendships, and the coolest cities, life can be worthwhile Happy ten years to a woman with an abundance of intellect A part time supermodel and the right gal to be those most influential Because of her people have met best friends they will never forget Taylor, I hope that I’ll be singing along to your albums ‘till im 40 But until then I’ll shed teardrops on my guitar out of joy And on this decade anniversary, made God bless you and all of your beautiful glory Stay goofy, stay yourself, and live life with no regrets Make your own decisions and take leaps of faith Through paparazzi and busy schedules, life is short, so let’s make the most of it I hope you will read this message some day And maybe reach out to me wanting to meet Allowing me to hug you in real life and whisper hey I love you, taylor alison swift, and I hope you do too After helping me feel comfortable and complete May we "long live" this moment, and Thank you.

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keywestlou · 4 years

Text

NOT A NORMAL INDEPENDENCE DAY

God bless America! Two hundred forty four years old today. It was on this day in 1776 that the Declaration of Independence was signed whereby we declared our independence from Great Britain.

Except for the Civil War era, July 4 was a happy day. Partying, parades, etc. Last year a relatively normal one, also.

Not this year.

The scab has fallen off, the wound is open again. Race relations.

My positions on the various issues are known. Set forth in detailed fashion in recent blogs. Today, I wish only to make 2 observations.

The blacks believe it is their time. To all appearances, it seems like they want to take over. Their time to run things.

The U.S. has a population approximately 76 percent white. Includes Hispanics who make up 12 percent of the white population. Remove the Hispanics, and the whites still are the major group with 64 percent.

Blacks constitute 13 percent.

How can a group decide it is their time to rule when they have no where near the numbers required to be the majority group? Equality, yes. Rule, no.

Observation two is the coronavirus epidemic. It is screwing everything up. Race a legitimate part of the issue from the virus perspective. The problems must be corrected. Blacks are entitled to the same assistance and concerns as whites. They have not been getting it.

Trump is not helping. He is screwing everything up by his lack of handling the pandemic in a proper fashion.

Today is the holiday! I wish you each a Happy Fourth knowing full well it cannot be because of the race and health problems confronting our nation.

Idiocy continues to reign supreme! The GOP is reportedly eyeing Tucker Carlson for the 2024 Presidential run. He is as bad as Trump, if not worse. Lies equally as well.

The reason Carlson is under serious consideration is that his FOX news show is the most watched cable news program in history.

Would you believe!

Donald was at Mount Rushmore yesterday. Probably thinking how great it would be if his face were sculptured on the side of the mountain.

He spoke to 7,500, all closely seated. Very few face masks.

Nearby Native Americans were upset Trump was to appear. They asked he not do so.

The tribes fear a coronavirus spike among its members. They had done well up to this time.

One of the tribal leaders said the “President is putting our tribal members at risk to stage a photo op at one of our most sacred sites.”

Trump spewed his usual poison during his speech. Like “the left wing cultural revolution is designed to overthrow the American revolution.” Some on the political left hope to “defame out heroes, erase our values, and culture to be taken from them…..Our children are taught in school to hate their own country.” The left represents “far left fascism.”

This past week Trump questioned Biden’s mental capabilities. Claimed he would fail or not do as well as Trump did on the congenitive/dementia test given as part of a physical.

Trump claimed he “aced” it.

You would have to be an idiot not to. The test is the Montreal Cognitive Assessment. Tests for early signs of dementia. Part of most annual physicals. I have been taking it for years.

The test requires all of 10 minutes.

Simplicity permeates.

Things like identifying 3 animals in a picture, asked to relate why certain things are common, draw a clock with the hands at 11:10, repeat 5 words 3 different times, etc.

Glad you “aced” it Mr. President. I would not expect less from you or any President.

Chechnya is a southern Russian republic. The scene of a horrifying humanitarian crisis. The site of a social cleansing. A place where terror reigns supreme for LGBTQ people.

Since 2017, the government has been trying to exterminate all gay people. A state sanctioned purge.

Putin is directing the human destruction.

Trump is fully aware. Trump has failed to speak about or criticize the situation.

Outright killings on the streets. Also, family honor killings of lesbian females.

Forget Trump for the moment. No one in Washington is talking about this slaughter either.

The blacks are deprecating John Wayne, also. He was known to speak strongly about problems similar to those confronting us today. His feelings anti-black in a sensitive fashion. Made his position clear, however.

Another part of Wayne to be shared are his religious beliefs.

He was born and raised a Presbyterian, believed in God, and occasionally taught the Bible.

Wayne was known to hand write letters to God as a way of praying. He refused to take part in movies he thought were immoral, even during the times film immorality was on the rise and acceptance.

He died on his deathbed at home from cancer. Two days before he died, he converted to Catholicism.

I don’t know what all this means. I am merely sharing another part of John Wayne with you.

A bit of Keys news and information.

The lobster mini season is the last wednesday and thursday of July. Islamorada is asking the County and State to cancel the event. To close all of the Keys. In an attempt to further protect against coronavirus.

A good idea. Visitors come to the Keys in droves to lobster fish those 2 days. I used to sit on my dock in Key Haven and watch them. Reminded me of that scene in Jaws where everyone went out to capture the shark. Big boats, little boats, in between size boats. Boats overloaded with people.

A bit of history. Monroe County was the sixth county established in Florida. June 3, 1823.

Way back when.

Florida not even a state. The county established by the territorial legislature, signed by Governor William P. Duval.

Dengue fever is on the rise in the Key Largo area. It comes around some where in the Keys every few years.

Someone recently asked in Citizens’ Voice: “Now that dengue fever is rising, will Key West require that we all wrap in mosquito netting when we go outside?”

A little humor never hurt!

Cocktails at 7 last night with Cathy in Seattle. Skype works wonders for a person like me quarantined now for over 100 days.

Made a friend over the internet early on. Cathy used to live in Key est in the 1980’s.

We now get together one night a week for 2 or 3 hours. Sort of like a date. We chat away. Cathy drinks alcohol, I diet soda.

She told me last night she was having a cook out at her house today with 2 friends. You are aware I have two lesbian wives. Donna and Terri. Cathy has gay husbands. Two, also. One colored and blind. Terri is colored and blind.

How very unusual! I would like to put together a Skype party for all of us.

A well liked and respected American died yesterday. Hugh Downs. Newscaster and announcer. Ninety nine years old. Died from natural causes.

One of the greats in television news casting.

Enjoy your holiday!

NOT A NORMAL INDEPENDENCE DAY was originally published on Key West Lou

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other-side-of-beauty-blog · 6 years

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A place I used to know

Last year Puerto Rico suffered a great devastation caused by hurricane María. Based on the meteorology registries & people that previously lived this experience, María has been the most powerful hurricane to visit the island. During 1998, hurricane Georges passed over Puerto Rico and we had many typical consequences, but nothing compared to María. I don’t recall the consequences of Georges because I was only a 6-month-old baby, but as I asked my parents and family, they all confirmed that it couldn’t be compared to María. So basically, my first experience with a hurricane was last year with María. When it was announced in the weather channel I didn’t knew how to feel because this was new to me.

After the hurricane passed, all I could think of was that Puerto Rico wouldn’t recover from this great impact and devastation. It was so impressive how Puerto Ricans had to adapt to this new lifestyle without electricity, water, communications, social media & technology. As a resident of a rural area in Puerto Rico, I’m always used to seeing the enormous fields and countryside that surrounds my house and community, so it was a great shock when I couldn’t see a green tree and all the fields were brown, dark and gloomy. Maybe this wasn’t so surprising for people who live in the city, but I’ve always had a great connection with nature and the peace I feel when I’m within it, so it was very sad to see this new Puerto Rico.

Since I was a baby, my family had a time-share vacation plan in Palmas del Mar in Humacao. Palmas del Mar is an enormous space with different urbanizations, villas, houses and some hotels for tourists. The hotels have pools, access to the beach, golf cart rentals, casino, and a mini shopping village with a few souvenirs’ shops, restaurants and supermarket. The main purpose of Palmas del Mar is tourism. Although many people own houses there, many of them come during special occasions to have fun or rest, and their hotels are full of tourists from different places. Here you can see people having fun in the beach, pools and driving golf carts. During the night, in the hotel area you can hear local singers perform, while the restaurants and casino are crowded.

We always went with all my family including cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents and my parents sometimes invited some of their close friends who were basically part of my family too. This was literally the best part of the year and when summer came I only wished that our week of vacations in Palmas del Mar arrived. In this time-share vacation plan, we had a villa where we stayed 1 or 2 weeks, depending on the points we accumulated in our membership. The thing I loved the most was sharing with my family and having such a great time. My mother loves to cook so she makes lunch and dinner; and my cousins and I were the responsible ones of making breakfast. During the day we went to the pool, beach or just went out in the golf cart to have fun and when it was late in the night we played board games, watched movies or just have some nice conversations full of jokes and anecdotes.

One of the many things I always love about Palmas del Mar is that it’s a place full of nature, trees, and harmony. Here you can just breath fresh air and forget about the stuff that worry us in the “real world”. Moreover, the residents that live there are very polite and kind to everyone. My favorite activity to do here was to go out in the golf cart with my cousins and we just visited the different urbanizations inside Palmas del Mar and talk with people we met. In the present, we have a lot of friends we met there from different cities of Puerto Rico and we also made friends with some residents which we visit every year in our trips.

Two weeks after hurricane María, my mom and I went looking out for a gas station near Humacao, because the ones that were in my city, Carolina, were out of gasoline or the lines were simply ridiculous. When we finally bought the gasoline for our electrical generator, my mom and I were both thinking of visiting Palmas del Mar and see how it looked after the hurricane. Honestly, we were both a little scared of what the aftermath would look, but we were also curious and wanted to know if one our favorite spots in the island would still be the same. I remember entering the gates and instantly a lot of pain and sadness invaded me. I wasn’t prepared to see so much devastation in this place full of great memories for me and my family.

The trees were dry, brown and most of them were just plucked from the ground. All the gorgeous flowers disappeared, and the beautiful trees weren’t green or leafy anymore. The atmosphere was very different and one of the things that shocked me was the amount of silence we felt. It wasn’t the kind of silence I love, or the silence that’s related to peace and nature, instead it was full of sadness. Many of the residents were still picking up trees, plants and garbage from their balconies and patios, but they all wore a look of despair and loss. Ironically, this place I used to know like the palm of my hand, was completely new right now and I could get lost very easily because the things that distinguished every street or path were not there anymore.

My first impression was the I had to be dreaming because this couldn’t be possible. The villas where we stayed were all dirty and some of them had their structures affected. The lobby of the hotel had a sign where it read: “Temporarily closed due to hurricane María. Remodeling in process.” I started crying because this wasn’t just a place of vacation; Palmas del Mar was like my second home. In this place we had such great family memories where we laughed, cried and shared all the experiences that make me who I am today. I always thought that Palmas del Mar was like a magical place where the hurricane wouldn’t enter, or at least I felt happier thinking of it in that way.

When I had to visit this familiar place after the hurricane, I realized that all this hope I had inside was just like a fairytale, because in the real world my favorite place in Puerto Rico after my home was plainly devastated and it looked horrible. This year we went to visit Palmas del Mar again, and things are slowly trying to stand up again, but I think it will never be the same after María. Every detail in this magical place had a history which we knew very well because we were part of it. Many residents we knew abandoned their houses and others were now on sell. When we went to the lobby of the hotel we stayed, they informed to us that we couldn’t stay during this summer because the facilities weren’t prepared.

In November 9 I visited Palmas del Mar again. I always thought that this place wouldn’t recover from the devastation it suffered during María. The last time I went to Palmas del Mar everything looked sad and dark, but this time it was different. There were some changes and the hard work done by the employees was remarkable. The gardens were trimmed, pretty and colorful. I saw some residents playing golf, like old times, and it brought a sense of hope and faith in me. The hotel we stayed finished with the remodeling process and when I entered the lobby, I could see new things like a little gift shop, a coffee shop and people playing bingo as part of the new activities the hotel created.

There were many tourists that seemed happy and enjoying their stay, while the staff members were energetic and kind as always. After this journey, I started to think about the changes we have to go through in life and how sometimes we try to avoid them. I was left with so much memories of this special place and I felt happiness because right now Palmas del Mar is different (in the physical details) but the peace and energy I always felt remained. After María, I wished that Palmas del Mar could be a little copy of what it was, but now I realized I don’t need for it to be the same. After the devastation this place went through, they had to make changes and start again, but these changes were necessary. We don’t need to preserve a place or immortalize it because this world is in constant change and evolution, but the memories and details of how this place used to be will always be in my heart.

During my way home, I felt nostalgic but at the same time happy. I felt happy because the reconstruction of Palmas del Mar is a symbol of resilience in Puerto Ricans. We had to go through so much, but the resilience we carry in our veins is our greatest weapon. Sometimes things need to happen because we are stuck in the same place and we get attached to our surroundings. When years pass, probably many people will look at Palmas del Mar as the most beautiful place they’ve seen, and I feel blessed because I know the other side of beauty. The beauty of resilience, hard work, suffering and tears. As tourists, we can’t know what happened in a place unless we are part of it, like the devastation caused by María. This is something everyone does, because we can’t know the story behind all the beautiful places or journeys we take.

Maybe it’s like Jamaica Kinkaid says in “A small place”: Tourists are selfish, oblivious and empty. Not just putting it in a horrible way, but we all are that type of tourist once in a lifetime, were we go to a place just to have fun and we really don’t care about the story behind what we see. It can also be a consequence of globalization, as we can relate in “Homelands” by Stephan Faris. The bad parts or the suffering that people went through isn’t relevant to me. María helped me think about these things and find an interest in the places I visit, rather than being a simple tourist. Also, it helped me admire and value things as they are, without comparison. I stopped comparing things to how they used to be and just enjoy them in the present as they are, because we need changes to grow in life. It made me see the other side of beauty, which is the history behind all the structures, hotels, houses and people. The other side of beauty is the story that I lived in Palmas del Mar and know; a story that won’t be repeated with the same details or physical structures, but it’s inked in my soul.

Essay #2

Stephanie González Pérez

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wingedtragedyconnoisseur-blog · 6 years

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shamelessmilkshakepanda-blog · 6 years

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Is it illegal to drive without car insurance?

"Is it illegal to drive without car insurance?

My Sister has car insurance and she told me to take her to her destination, but i don't have car insurance under my name and im afraid that if i get pulled over for some odd reason and ill get busted for not having insurance.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr