#different degrees and then on top of that your sense of time/cognition becomes nonlinear because you're blurry as hell in and out all the

[corset]

Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible

#I can't even describe it #Like it isn't even just the basic stuff I've dealt with my whole life right #I've had some of this for well over a decade now right I've been very unwell for a long time #I'm a system so that tells you a lot already #Speaking of which that's been extremely hard on us lately too. Rapid switching and blending and worsening dissociative episodes #It makes it extremely....hard. I don't know how to put this for people reading this who don't just intuitively know what I'm talking about #Let me try though #Stress worsens the symptoms right. And we've been under a Lot of stress. When you have a system who not only experiences different levels #of emotion but also different emotional responses to certain things and then also expresses symptoms of your multiple mental illnesses to #different degrees and then on top of that your sense of time/cognition becomes nonlinear because you're blurry as hell in and out all the #time it becomes markedly more difficult to try and balance out/manage your other shit. Like I cannot even describe #It's like trying to climb a slippery incline #I feel truly. Crazy. Like a complete unstable fragmented freak lately it is So bad. And I feel like I'm becoming Worse /As A Person/ too #Like I just feel like I'm becoming so jaded and fucked up mentally our internal state right now is frankly very bad. If you think I've been #negative and difficult on this blog lately hoo boy is my posting on here not even scratching the surface #We're trying to do some things about stuff we can fix/control in our external surroundings but like #[Edit: in addition I have never been properly medicated or gotten help for Any of this since I was 14-15 and they weren't even helping us #for the right things.]