#either mostly adults or kinda quiet ... idk man it's just so hard. huge dilemna

[astrxealis]

wahhhh i’m still rlly ... confused ... messy thoughts T___T

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #tw uhm. genshin impact ?? me kind of actually admitting my actual feelings on the game and all haha ;;;; #tw rant #i posted on my writing sb but most active mutuals don't even follow me there i think. i'll ramble here instead bcs idk if i want ppl to see #this or not but also this is my main so yeah ?? T___T #i barely play genshin despite being there day 1. i'm not a huge... fan. of the game & the community overall and the company too #i don't like playing the game... i like the characters but for reasons i don't that much as well and yeah... i recently uninstalled genshin #too! i can get it back easily if i want to but. i don't rlly want to ;;; #it's not even in my top 10 favorite games ;;; and i have a lil thing against ppl who only play free games esp if they're in the philippines #and mobile gamers only bcs. i'm tired of being alone bcs that's how it is literally almost everywhere in this godforsaken country #i like those kinda stuff too yes but! i'm alone wherever it is ;; even w my friends ;;; aaaaa i wna ditch genshin once and for all but it's #hard bcs it's mainstream! it's big! it's easy to meet nice mutuals & friends thru it and it helps me actually get recognition for my writing #but. i just genuinely don't like it. dw i'm not going to be so immature to rant and ramble abt THAT here when ik many like genshin but #;;;;;;;;;; i want to ditch it but also. i don't. bcs if i do who's to say who wants to still be friends/mutuals? and my main fandoms r #either mostly adults or kinda quiet ... idk man it's just so hard. huge dilemna #either way is good & bad for my heart T___T i don't like genshin but i don't want to gtfo of it like. yeah. but then if i do what i want #it means i'll be alone even more and it's just. dgbsdjhgbhjsd idk man ;;; i feel like all problems wld be solved if i just was in another #country bcs the ph sucks for so many reasons or if more ppl like me - my age - were in my ACTUAL interests too ...... #BCS. i don't fully hate genshin. but i hate everything aside from the lore and the characters. the community i generally don't like #but the ppl in the community i don't necessarily dislike!! it just so happens. when it comes to genshin my feelings r more .... hm #i don't want to mean tho ;; i try to be considerate of others feelings ;; but yeah ^^; it's so hard to come to a decision ... #i think it'd be better for now if i take it slow! T___T #i don't think i'll Fully quit it like. i'll stop trying to force myself to seem like i like it but i mostly like the characters still so #i'll still write and all but just make it obvious that it is not my main fandom or wtvr >< GHJBSDJHG #ig it can kinda be summarized in that i don't want to necessarily leave genshinblr or fully quit genshin. but i don't rlly want to #be associated as a Genshin Fan 10000% bcs i am not lmao. and i'll associate myself w it less >< #ahjbdghjhdbshjgb there's still the problem that my actual faves aren't super . Famous for people like me bcs ppl in the ph have boring taste #and a lot of minors who DO like ffxiv are really hard to find bcs mostly adults T___T so yeah! i'll find a way. hopefully #now that i've rambled abt this i hope i come to terms w this more shbdgjbdhgbsjhdb ........ ^^