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thedappleddragon · 3 years

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hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming.

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD.

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #may 2021 daily

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everyonesabiaswrecker · 7 years

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92 questions/random questions/8 things tag

This seems like a lot of questions but i will try my best :) i like the question tags a lot actually, they’re fun so thanks for tagging me @sambashua!!! i was only going to do one of the sections but i liked some of the questions from all of them and then i just ended up doing all the questions! oh well here it is it is long

i’ll tag: @taeismyking and @king-hao too bc por que no

the last…

1. drink: grapefruit juice

2. phone call: my dad

3. text message: YAAA

4. song you listened to: Knock Knock by N.Flying

5. time you cried: honestly i feel like i cry all the damn time but the last time i remember literally bawling is when i watched the movie Hachi i cried for so long my family was worried but in my defense hachi was the best boy!!!!

have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope i haven’t even dated someone once really

7. been cheated on: pro tip: you can’t get cheated on if you don’t date

8. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: nah

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah but only once

list three favorite colors (12-15)…

any shade of blue, coral, black

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: i made a couple at school but i don’t make friends very easily because I’m super quiet around people I don’t know

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: of course :)

18. found out someone was talking about you: nah

19. met someone who changed you: i don’t think so at least not in the last year

20. found out who your true friends are: yeah :)

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nah

general stuff

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I know the majority of them in real life but I haven’t talked to like any of them in 86 years

23. do you have any pets: I HAVE A DOG NAMED COZY AND SHE IS THE CUTEST, FLUFFIEST GAL IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!

24. do you want to change your name: I’ve always liked my name actually it would be weird for it to be anything else

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I got pizza with Miranda (@sambashua) and had a family brunch party thing!

26. what time did you wake up: Like 10:30 because i accidentally stayed up until 3 oops

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: eating frosted flakes and watching youtube

28. name something you cannot wait for: I CANT WAIT FOR ALL OF THE DEBUTS/COMEBACKS OF ALL THE GROUPS HAPPENING SOON LIKE N.FLYING AND SAMUEL AND WANNA ONE AND ALL THE OTHER PRODUCE BOYS

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 2 seconds ago

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I don’t think i would change anything i like my life :)

31. what are you listening to right now: Jelly by HotShot everyone should listen to!!! its A plus!!!

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably but not that i remember

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my punk of a brother

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube probably

35. elementary school: what do these mean?? like if i went to them bc if so yes

36. high school: yes it was fine

37. college: and yes I’m a sophomore and i’m having a good time!

38. hair color: blonde

39. long or short hair: its kinda short right now but I’m growing it out again!

40. do you have a crush on someone: nah man

41. what do you like about yourself: a lot of things!!! i’m a great gal

42. piercings: my ears but I haven’t worn earrings in 45 years

43. blood type: A positive I think

44. nickname: From family: mouse, cassie, cassarole, and a bunch of others From friends: cass

45. relationship status: single 5ever (and in love with so many boys who are either fictional or a bajillion miles away from me)

46. zodiac sign: taurus

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: parks and rec or bob’s burgers

49. tattoos: nah i would probably regret it immediately after i got it!

50. righty or lefty: righty

first…

51. surgery: i got my tonsils out when i was like 8

52. piercing: ears

53. best friend: Lizzie from kindergarten to 3rd grade until i moved

54. sport: soccer

55. vacation: the mall of america!!!

56. pair of sneakers: man how should i know

right now…

57. eating: blueberries :)

58. drinking: a mango mania slushy!!!

59. i’m about to: do laundry

60. listening to: Password by Jung Yong Hwa

61. waiting for: my dog to stop sleeping so i can play with her

62. do you want kids: yeah!! I love kids!! I want all of the kids!!

63. do you want to get married: probably at some point but i don’t feel like i have to

64: what career do you want: I want to be a book publisher or an editor :D

which is better…

65. hugs or kisses: HUGS :)

66. lips or eyes: eyes

67. shorter or taller: either one is good

68. older or younger: no preference really

70. nice arms or nice stomach: arms i think but it really just depends on who i’m talking about

71. sensitive or loud: what is this even asking tho ???

72. hook up or relationship: relationship for sure :)

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, I’m not really the trouble making type

have you ever…

74. kissed a stranger: no I don’t know where that stranger has been

75. drank hard liquor: yeah but only in cocktails bc cocktails are delicious!

76. lost glasses/lenses: one time i lost one contact in first period and it looked like i was winking at people all day

77. turned someone down: yeah

78. had sex on the first date: nope

79. broken someone’s heart: most likely not

80. had your heart broken: nah

81. been arrested: no, if i even got pulled over i would start bawling

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: nah

do you believe in…

84. yourself: YEAH! I CAN DO ANYTHING!

85. miracles: i mean not really i believe that good stuff can happen but I wouldn’t exactly label them miracles

86. love at first sight: nah

87. santa claus: i wish! then i would still be getting an extra present at christmas

88. kiss on the first date: if you want to if you don’t want to then its not like its required

89. angels: nah

other…

90. current best friends name: prob miranda :D heart you pal!

91. eye color: light turquoisey blue

92. favorite movie: Ratatouille (bc the food) and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (bc the foodimals)

Random Questions

relationship status: single 4 life

favorite color: any shade of blue!!!

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick all the way (cherry chapstick specifically)

last song you listened to: The Eve by EXO (WHAT A JAM!!!)

last movie you watched: Wonder Woman i think

top 3 characters: Celeana/Aelin (i love the throne of glass series so much i cry!) and ROWAN BC I LOVE HIM and Roz from Monsters Inc. bc she doesn’t take shit from anyone

top 3 ships: HWITAE (but really like any of the billion ships in sf9), BINU (BEST BOYS), and MARKHYUK (THE FRIENDSHIP!!!)

books you are currently reading: A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas

top 5 musicals: HAMILTON, In the Heights, Rent, any of the disney musicals!!!, and of course Grease (a classic)

Eight Things

last movie watched: again wonder woman but before that i think it was Guardians of the Galaxy 2 last song listened to: The Night- FTISLAND (an under appreciated bop) last book read: The Mists of Avalon- Marion Zimmer Bradley last thing eaten: a twinkie if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be: idk im pretty chill right here a fictional character you would hang out with for the day: Bilbo Baggins or just all the hobbits because i know i would get at least 7 meals of amazing food, maybe more!!! it would be a great time!!

what fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: anywhere with cool magic honestly i can think of like ten books that i would have a great time living in!!! last video game played: one of those lego games probably the lord of the rings one, i haven’t played video games in 10 years

#i literally got this done so fast #but if i dont do it immediately i forget about it forever #questions tag #its so long #im sorry to anyones dash this shows up on

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