#he may not be as aggressive as other men. hell he's not a casanova either but you will mostly see him feeling neutral

[cerise-on-top]

ALLO!!!!

how are you, love?!?!!? I hope driving practice has been good!!

I was wondering this the other day, cuz I was rereading one of my favorite posts of yours about Rudy, and I’m curious, why does he feel the need to be strong and not be seen as weak? Like, why doesn’t he initiate that besides feeling like it would bother his partner? I wanna know who HURT MY BABY!!! >:(

Hey there!

I'm doing fine, thank you! How are you! Driving has been alright! I passed my exam and soon I will be driving with my mother for practice! I plan to get the practical exam done sometime before November :D

I can actually give you two answers to your question, a short, but truthful one, and a longer one! Under the read more so I won't clutter anyone's dashboard ^^

In short: Rodolfo is, surprisingly, the character I project onto the most while writing! So, yeah, him being the way he is is just me projecting my personality onto him!

The long answer would be that he's actually got a bit of toxic masculinity in him. All those characters have been in the military ever since they were young, where I always liked to think the men would be rather toxic, not wanting to be seen as weak and just wanting to show off how strong and cool they are. I don't usually show too much of it in other characters, but another character who grew up and internalized some toxic masculinity, in my writing, is Soap. But he handles it a bit differently from Rodolfo. However, he would want to be seen as a traditionally strong man as well.

Rodolfo was shaped by his time in the military and started believing that he was not to show very many emotions either. Sure, he will show that he's happy, that he's somewhat annoyed, but not usually to the extent he really feels it, unless there's not a lot to that emotion in that moment. Everyone around him was a show-off, was cocky and somewhat immature as well. He has always been more mature than others his age, but it still rubbed off on him. Deep inside he does still want to show his emotions. But that's showing weakness to him. Sometimes he just wants to cry and have someone comfort him, he almost always wants someone to hold him and be sappy with him, telling him how much they love him. It doesn't even need to be a romantic kind of love, if a good friend of his was to ever tell him that they loved him then he'd be over the moon, even if he'd just answer with a simple "thanks".

Ever since he joined all those wannabe machos that believe that being strong means never showing how damaged you are, he sort of became like them. Sure, he usually has his emotions under control, you usually can't tell he's too upset unless he's about to tear someone's throat out, but that also means that the people close to him will never really hear the truth. He needs to be the big, strong man in your relationship, anything else just isn't acceptable. While he may not believe in all that alpha male nonsense, he does believe that he should be the one to make more money than his partner, that he should always take the bullet for them, that he should fight off any and all competitors out there.

It's more extreme when his partner is a woman, or female aligned, because in that case he really feels as though he has to be her pillar, that he can't show any "weakness" at all. With enough persistent persuasion, he could slowly change his mind, but it would take a while.

That toxic masculinity is also the reason why Rodolfo, as I write him, prefers men. Don't get me wrong, he still loves women, but when with a man it's not as extreme. He won't show everything he feels, but he'll be a bit more at ease. Even initially, he can be more open with a man because there's a kind of kinship he doesn't immediately have with a woman. If his partner is more open with his feelings, then he has a slightly easier time as well. If his partner is a "weak" man, who needs to be protected, then that's alright too. It shows Rodolfo that men don't always need to be those strong, aggressive beings. Besides, that toxic masculinity he believes in applies to him the most, it's not as severe with other people. So he won't hold his partner accountable for showing emotions or being affectionate with him. In fact, Rodolfo actually likes it when his partner is being affectionate with him, it means that he loves him. Rodolfo is affection starved anyway. Sure, Alejandro is affectionate with him, but it's not nearly enough to satiate him. He's very much like a black hole in that regard: No matter how much affection you throw at him, it likely isn't enough. He loves affection, but he won't show it through "normal" means, such as initiating a cuddling session, unless explicitly asked.

If asked, he will do just about anything since that's his job as a strong man, to make his partner happy. If you ask to hold him, then that's one of the only times he'll "swallow his pride". In reality, he could cry because he really just wants to be held. Deep down he wants to be pampered and taken care of as much, if not even more so than, his partner. He's actually a real sweetheart, he just can't show it all the time. Wants to be peppered in kisses and be told that he's the most handsome lad in the world. But alas, he can't even ask for comfort. If he's sad then he'll just swallow it down, not wanting to bother his partner, and, of course, to "seem stronger than he actually is".

So yeah, Rodolfo really suffers from all that toxic masculinity nonsense.

#cherry chats #do I tag this as #Rodolfo Parra #sorry this got really long I just have a lot to say about Rodolfo ^^; #but yeah toxic masculinity is a disease and Rodolfo caught it when he joined the military #he may not be as aggressive as other men. hell he's not a casanova either but you will mostly see him feeling neutral #so no one really hurt him he just became like that because of his environment #as mentioned before: Soap also has that. Graves too #most of the men do. not very many of them are entirely comfortable in their masculinity and need to show off whenever they can #I genuinely believe that Gaz is pretty comfortable with where he is though #but he's one of the only ones #while not all of them want to be pampered like Rodolfo they do want to be the bigger and stronger person #I'd even go as far as to say that someone being “stronger” than them would be a dealbreaker for some of them #Rodolfo would feel conflicted in a situation like that. he wants to be protected deep down #he wants someone to be stronger than him but he's not sure he could let something like that happen #so yeah! sorry again! thank you for letting me rant though! ^^