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mymelodyheart · 4 years

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Forget Me Not Chapter 21 ~Family Intervention~

Willie made his way out of the manor house, leaving Jamie and Ian in the kitchen, the news of his brother and Claire's break-up still whirling around in his head. In a hot flare of guilt and shame, his heart rejoiced, but the nagging voice of reason is telling him to shove those hopes away. Even if Jamie and Claire never got back together, which he thought was highly unlikely, pursuing Claire would be an act of betrayal. Moving on seemed to be the only logical option, but he kept asking himself if he owed it to himself to reveal his true feelings. Off-limits! The mantra had been reprised regularly in his consciousness, yet felt like meaningless rules made for children meant to be broken.

He was about to get into his car when he heard a sound behind him.

"Willie, wait a sec!"

Willie craned his neck around and saw Jenny coming down the steps of the house, a furrow creasing her forehead. She was dressed in her fiance's sweater, baggy black jeans and ankle boots, disguising her willowy form. Her jet black hair was pulled back from her face in a messy bun. She had always reminded him of a pixie, with her pointed chin, too large blue eyes and petite build. Hidden beneath the diminutive figure, was inner strength, no-nonsense attitude and larger than life character which he admired but threw other people off.

"Ye're no' going to apologise for that wee outburst in there, are ye?" he joked.

She burst out laughing, taking a few steps towards him to close the distance. "Of course not. I meant what I said earlier. Ye lads needed a bit of reality check and reminding that you don't need to behave like Neanderthals to show ye care."

He grinned. "Aye, I suppose we do," he said, leaning down to kiss the top of Jenny's head. "And it's a brother's responsibility to annoy their sisters. And it seems I am still capable of doing that."

"Listen, I'm not here to talk about that." Her eyes turned serious. "Should I be worried about ye? I've seen the way ye looked at Claire, and I ken the look. I've been noticing for some time."

He shifted his weight and stared at the view above his sister's head, trying to find the right words. It was useless denying it to Jenny, who was too perceptive for her own good. "Nothing to talk about. It is what it is, and there's nothing to worry. I don't have any plans for Claire."

"Aye, I kinda expected ye'd say that," she sighed. "But, ye're hovering, like ye're waiting for something ...like ye're waiting for fate to intervene. Ye have to decide, bràthair. Either ye forget all about it and get on with life, or ye do yersel' a favour and tell Claire exactly how ye feel. It's the only way to move on. I dinna like the way ye're stuck in some sort of limbo. At least when ye finally do something about it, there'll be no what-ifs in the future."

"I've decided to keep my mouth shut."

"Weel, that may be the case, but it doesn't look like ye're moving on."

He narrowed his gaze. "What exactly are ye worried about?"

"I'm worried ye'll miss opportunities to be happy."

The words fell between them and lay there like massive boulders that refused to budge. Willie's throat clenched with familiar guilt, but he ignored it, making sure to keep his voice firm. "Aye, I need to get my shit together, but dinna fash. Whatever this feeling I have for Claire, it's just infatuation, and I'm not shutting out any possibilities of finding my own happiness. If it makes ye happy, I've asked Geillis to go out on a dinner date with me this weekend."

She seemed to mull over his words to catch the sincerity in his tone and intention. "Alright, I suppose that's a start."

"Mmm, ye don't sound convince."

"It's just that it's been years since I've seen ye in a serious relationship. Or any at all."

The corner of his lip lifted in amusement. Not many people asked direct questions or say it like it is like his sister. His muscles relaxed a bit, glad for her directness. "I've been busy, and there hasn't been anyone that turned my head."

"Now why don't I believe that?" she asked softly, tilting her head to take a better look at him. "Yer head can't be turned because the object of yer affection is sitting right under yer nose. But Claire loves Jamie, and even a blind man can see that. Tell Claire how ye feel, and maybe only then when ye hear it straight from the horse's mouth, ye can truly move on."

He pondered for a while before answering. "No. I ken what ye're trying to say, and I'm alright with it. But telling Claire will only create unnecessary problems. It's better this way. But I'm glad now ye spoke to me because ye just voiced what I already know. Dinna fash though ...I'm braw."

Her face softened. "Good. But now is a good time to begin easing yer way back into the dating game." Then her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Who knows, something might come out of that date with Geillis. I like her. She's a great lass and has her eyes on ye."

He groaned, but she only shot him a wink as she disappeared back into the house. Typical of Jenny - she never sugar-coated anything when she wanted to make a point.

Willie lifted his face to the early morning sun, thinking about why he'd stayed and worked in Italy after finishing his culinary school. The reason was to be closer to Claire. But to be far enough to run away from what he felt for her. Willie never revealed his feelings because deep down, there was always this silent understanding she was Jamie's girl. So now he's back home, and he'd come full circle, back to the place where it all started, trying to put the pieces of his life together. How bloody ironic!

..........

Claire grabbed her café americano from the Starbuck's counter and squeezed herself into a corner table. She spoke into the wireless earpiece. "Hey, da. Just letting you know I've arrived in London. I have a couple of hours to kill before I head for the trade show. Is there anything else you want me to do while I'm here?"

She winced at the blistering array of profanity coming from Murtagh in the background, feeling sorry for the service and kitchen staff. Why did kitchen chefs have the worst tempers of all?

Claire took a sip of her coffee and grimaced. This was her fifth since leaving Lallybroch, and somehow, as the day went on, the taste was beginning to lose its appeal.

Brian let out a sharp intake of breath, most probably because of whatever commotion was happening in the kitchen. She silently hoped it had nothing to do with the list of instructions she left behind for Murtagh before leaving the hotel. "No, leannan. Just make sure ye get as many brochures and pictures from the list of exhibitors that I wrote down. And enquire about the app solutions. Willie is insistent we have a hotel app as part of our marketing strategy."

"Got that! If ma needs anything in London, tell her to let me know. I'll be heading for Oxford tomorrow morning to lay some flowers for uncle Lamb, and if everything goes well, I should be home tomorrow night."

"I'll let yer ma know ...and Claire ..."

A reluctance in Brian's voice rang in her ears. On impulse, she tried another sip of her coffee before pushing it away. "Oh, another thing, da ... in case I'm late checking in tonight, I'm meeting an old school friend for dinner in some bistro in Nottingham Hill. His name is Frank. You know, Jamie's old friend."

"Aye, that's alright." He paused in between, clearing his throat. "Listen ...this with Jamie, I've heard all about it. Ye know that everything will sort itself out, aye? Just give it a bit of time. It hasn't been easy on both of ye or any of us. The opening of the hotel and work piling up hasn't really given anyone a chance to wrap their head with what happened."

Holding back a sigh, she thought of Jamie's reaction that morning. He hadn't been impressed with her sudden trip to London, and already, he seemed to be regretting his decision to take a break from their relationship. On the plane trip, she had thought long and hard about their situation, and came to the conclusion that maybe it was what they both needed. Lately, they hadn't been good for one another.

Claire tamped down the urge to cry, feeling suddenly emotional. It was totally out of her character. "I know, da. Maybe it's for the best that Jamie and I take some time off. I've been overly sensitive lately, and being a wreck around him is not helping us at all. Maybe the lack of sleep has thrown me off balance. But don't worry. Like what you said, it will sort itself out."

There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Claire, are ye alright? Maybe ye should take a few days off. Ellen told me ye've been pushing yersel' hard lately. I don't want ye falling ill."

Homesickness squeezed at her heart. All she wanted at that very moment was to be in her own bed and sleep for a whole week. She felt exhausted all of a sudden. "I must admit I'm tired, but a solid eight-hour sleep should do the trick. Maybe I'll take a nap before going to the trade show."

"Alright sweetheart. I'll let ye go. Please, do take care, and I'll speak to ye soon."

"Thanks, da, and I love you." She wanted to prolong their conversation. It had been ages since they had a heart to heart talk. But it wasn't the time and the place.

"I love ye too."

She tapped the button and ended the call, resisting the urge to message Jamie. Maybe tonight when her head was a bit clearer, and she didn't feel like on the verge of tears. There was work to be done, and she needed all of the energy she could muster to focus.

But that night after dinner with Frank, fatigue got the better of her. The moment she sat down in the antique armchair in her room, she fell into a restless sleep full of nightmares. She woke up at two am in the morning, and after dragging herself from the chair, changing into Jamie's shirt and going to bed, she tossed and turned for the rest of the night, unable to sleep until the sun came up.

.........

It had been over three weeks, and Claire hadn't called nor texted. Not that Jamie expected she would, after all, it was him who suggested taking a break from their relationship. But oh how he lived in hope to catch a glimpse of her or hear her voice. Although she had some reading materials, treats and single-line notes that said I hope you're well sent over to him, it didn't ease the sinking feeling that he had pushed her away for good.

Everyone took turns visiting him, except the person that mattered most, and her absence made the manor house seemed too big and empty. Even if visitors, like staff from the hotel and old friends like Frank bearing gifts and best wishes regularly came, none of it mattered, when all he could think of was Claire.

There were stories that she was working around the clock and sometimes she stayed in the hotel until early hours in the morning when there were banquets and special events held. And Willie rarely came home, staying at Claire's and Geillis house to be nearer to the workplace. Sometimes Jamie couldn't help but wonder if his brother was taking advantage of their situation and was spending more time with her. No! His brother would never do that. Or would he? After all, on paper, Claire was single.

One late evening he managed to get hold of her when he called, and it was a good thing as she had dozed off in her office. She had muttered sleepily and briefly about needing to go to bed, so he had left it at that, hoping she would call the following day. But she never did. It was the last time they had spoken, and her voice still echoed in his ears, the throaty, husky drawl she had when woken from a sleep. Although worried for her health, he was so proud of her achievements at work. In only a matter of weeks, the hotel was already fully booked for every weekend that coming summer as a venue for weddings, conferences and other special functions. Claire was relentless in amping up the hotel's social media presence and promoting their town as a perfect highland destination. Everyone in the family had been on her case to slow down, but all they got in response was reassurances that she was fine.

That day, he spent most of the afternoon, pushing himself to walk, trying the treadmill on a slow mode and doing pull-up exercises until his therapist firmly told him to stop. Adrenaline bubbled in his veins like a frothy pint of beer, but he knew if he over-did it, he could do more harm than good to himself. Frustrated, he longed to hear Claire's voice and his fingers itched to call her. He had tried calling a few times, but every time he got hold of her, either she was busy with work, in the middle of something, or unable to answer at all.

Limbs still tingling from the massage he got from his therapist, he was grateful for any feelings he had around his thighs even if it meant pain and discomfort that kept him awake at night. Sat in the lounge staring at the phone in one hand and nursing a tumbler of whisky in the other, he mentally debated whether to call Claire or not, for the umpteenth time.

"That phone will combust if ye stare at it long enough."

He looked up and saw his sister stood in front of him, studying his face. "Hey, what's up?"

As if reading his mind, she smiled at him. "I was at the hotel earlier. Claire was really busy in case ye're wondering. She hardly had time to stop and talk. She was busy discussing menus with wedding clients."

"Aye, I've heard. Looks like the hotel and restaurant are in good hands." His pride for Claire multiplied. She had worked hard for their family's legacy, giving it her all. He thought of her at the opening party, surrounded by crowds, champagne and excitement, and she handled it like she had been doing it all her life. She was indeed one of them - a Fraser through and through and how he would love to give her his name and make it official. Their problem was never about her. It was always about him.

Jenny got comfortable in the battered armchair opposite him and winked. "But I managed to speak to her for a few seconds. I invited her to come for dinner tomorrow night."

Jamie caught the twinkle in her eyes. "Are ye interfering Jenny? I don't want ye forcing Claire to come here when she doesn't feel like seeing me." Despite his mild irritation with his sister, he couldn't help but feel hopeful.

"Don't be ridiculous." She reached out for the tumbler he was holding and took a sip of his whisky. "I couldn't force Claire to do anything even if I wanted to."

"Weel, what is it? Is she coming or no'? What did she say?"

Jenny grinned mischievously. "She said she would love to come. Anyway, the wheelchair shouldn't have stopped ye from going to see her ye know. Anyone of us was willing to take ye wherever ye want to go. So what's been stopping ye?"

"Guess ye ken all the answers. So why don't ye solve all my problems?" Jamie asked, irritation coursing through him. "I've realised I can't go on like this. I hate being stuck in this wheelchair. I hate being stuck at home. The longer we're apart, the more likely I'll lose Claire forever. I feel I've let her down in more ways I can imagine and I didn't even realise I've been doing it for some time. All I know is that I love her and I can't live without her. And ye want to know what's stopping me from seeing her? The fact that I may never be right again is not fair on her. So, Jenny, solve that one for me, will ye."

His sister's blue eyes flashed with empathy and an understanding that came from growing side by side. "I wish I could," she said softly. "One thing I do know is what ye've been through was traumatic. Ye are over-thinking things, and ye're having panic attacks. Ye should go easy on yersel'. And ye're not the only one suffering ...Claire is suffering too from the trauma, but she is trying to deal with it the best way she could. She is not avoiding ye because she wants to. She is simply exhausted. Da is already thinking of hiring an assistant for her to ease her workload."

"Christ, that exhaustion has been going on for some time. Maybe Claire ought to see a doctor. Why doesn't she take some extra days off? Surely the hotel isn't going to implode in her absence."

Jenny shrugged. "Tell me about it. She's been suffering from insomnia ever since the shooting, and I guess she's driving herself to exhaustion in the hope it would knock her to sleep. Or maybe, she can't sleep because ye aren't by her side. Have ye ever thought of that?"

He shook his head and groaned. "I don't know. All I know is that I am beginning to understand now how she must have felt when I pushed her away. All these weeks without her and not seeing her, I haven't been able to sleep much either."

His sister smiled and raised the tumbler of whisky in the air. "There ye go. There's yer answer. Claire is yer home. Ye're both at home with each other, but this messy shit with Annalise got in the way. I couldn't understand why ye didn't want to stay at Claire's right from the start, but I guess it's because ye're a numpty. Oh sure, getting back together and living together will throw a lot of challenges along the way, and it's going to suck big time. There will be a lot of therapies and a lot of talks and a lot of compromises, but together, I think ye're stronger. There are endless possibilities, Jamie and with love, both of ye could make it work, as long as ye don't let that stupid pride get in the way."

Emotion choked his throat. "How do ye know Jenny? How can ye sound so sure?"

"Because even though ye don't believe it, ye're an extraordinary lad. Sometimes a real pain in the arse and stubborn as a mule, but whatever ye focus on, ye succeed, and ye conquer. Just like Claire. Ma and da taught us that. It's in our blood that love for home and Claire is yer home. Ye understand?"

Yes, he understood. His sister always shot straight and true, which was precisely what he needed. "Aye, I understand."

Jenny refilled his glass with whisky and got one for herself, and together they drank and watched the fire. Jamie took the time to go over his plans and accept his decision. And finally, he realised his breath was clear, and that awful tightness in his chest was gone because deep down in his guts, he knew the decision was right.

He was going to move heaven and earth to win back Claire.

#melodyheart #forgetmenot #Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser #outlanderfanfic

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