#hence wanting to do the research myself coz sometimes it feels like there’s all this stuff that’s obvious to me but no one else?? from what

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi, I'm ENFP core 6w7 but I have a hard time figuring out which heart and gut I have and which is second and third between 1w2, 8w7, 8w9, 2w1 2w3 4w5 and 4w3, what can I look for to find out? thanks a lot!!!

That’s… not altogether surprising. Inferior Si is pretty bad with details, Ne-dom relates to everything on some level, and core 6′s can have trouble figuring out their Enneagram tritype. 6′s and 9′s have the most trouble, out of all 9 E types.

You have to look at the head, heart, and gut instincts as separate. They are your METHOD for dealing with logic, emotion, and anger. 

(You didn’t include all of them, but if I don’t include them all, I’ll just get asked.)

GUT: Let’s say someone slanders you. What’s your GUT INSTINCT?

8′s fire back. OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOURSELF??? *uses a cannon to kill a mosquito, escalates the episode into a battle* (8w7 may keeps fighting until they win; 8w9 gets tired of it after awhile and quits)

9′s ignore the problem, and hope it goes away, since conflict – ugh. (9w1 may also think it’s a matter of pride not to sink to their shallow reactive level, hence the silence; 9w8 may get mad and blast people after all, then worry about it.)

1′s may either respond, or debate with themselves whether it’s appropriate to respond or appropriate to display their anger in that way; they might wind up keeping their mouth shut, knowing the people who REALLY know them as a good, moral person will not believe the slander anyway; or they might fear that this will damage their reputation and should be addressed in a firm, direct way. (1w2 has less problems reacting and moralizing at people than 1w9, who just wants you to go away and leave them alone, coz you’re ruining their buzz.)

Heart: how are you in your relationships? How do you react IN a relationship? What do you tend to focus on getting and giving from your partner? What’s your actual thought process?

2: if I am a nice, helpful person, I can earn their love. I can be clingy in my relationships, sometimes trying to do too much to please others. I feel disappointed when others do not “do unto me as I do unto them,” but at the same time have a hard time expressing my needs. I feel I don’t deserve to have them filled – it’s selfish to think that way or ask for things. I can clearly see what they need; why is it so hard for them to see what I need in return?? (2w3 wants both you to love them and admire them; 2w1 wants to serve because it’s the right thing to do.)

3: I work hard to keep them interested and impressed with me. I can sometimes boast about how good at things, to cover up my own insecurities. I sometimes like to name drop. It’s important to me that my partner takes me as a successful person. I will become whatever they need me to be, but I also have aspirations. I am going places. I want someone who is also going places. (3w2 wants you to admire and love them, and is more extroverted; 3w4 is more willing to look at their own flaws after reaching their goals.)

4: I’m surprised when people like me for who I am; I expected them to reject me because of *insert thing here*. I sometimes feel like I’m most in love with someone when they are gone – and less in love with them when they are here. I have a hard time looking at them and not wanting what is missing from the relationship. I’ve been accused of not appreciating what I have. But… is this all there is? I want to connect with others but don’t always feel I know how. Maybe if I stand out, if I emphasize something unique about myself, you’ll notice me. (4w3 is more outwardly aggressive and sharing of their feelings; 4w5 is more detached and analytical about their feelings.)

2′s read people’s emotions; 3′s covet approval and admiration; 4′s do neither. They deliberately take opportunities to say, “I’m not like that.”

Head: you are forced to make a major decision at work. What do you do?

5: does all the research, is indecisive and doesn’t want to be rushed, but when pushed to the wire makes a decision based on the knowledge they acquired, an what seems like a safe bet. (5w4 doesn’t consult for opinions; 5w6 does.)

6: analyzes the different possibilities, invites external input, then makes a decision based on what seems like the least-risk-taking method. Cautious and will consult others for their opinions – often reaching a conclusion first, then asking others if it seems like the right choice. (6w5 relies on knowledge also; 6w7 chooses a method that ensures they will not feel ‘trapped’ by the results, leaves an open ending for other alternatives.)

7: considers the best strategy that will require the least amount of labor, and will prevent them from eventual boredom in picking up the pieces. Not big on follow through, and hates being stuck anywhere. (7w6 is more cautious than 7w8.)

I’d suggest thinking about the last time someone crossed or insulted you, and how you reacted. Write down your reasons for doing what you did – as well as what you did, and study them independently. Did you lash out like an 8? Ignore like a 9? Seethe with indignation and try to restrain your anger like a 1? Then look at your last failed relationship. Ask yourself why it failed. How you acted. What you wanted from your partner that they did not give you. What bugged them about your decisions and behaviors. Did you pull them in like a 2? Impress them like a 3? Push them away like a 4?

I discovered I was a 4 when I realized how much, unconsciously over the years, I have always deliberately set myself out to be DIFFERENT from my peers. At 11 or 12, I saw other girls being “silly” and thought, “That’s it. I’m going to be mature and serious.” If they liked boys, I never said anything remotely gushy about boys. If they all wanted to get married one day, well, I didn’t! I’ve noticed I’m still quick to assert the differences between other people and me – especially if they try and tell me who I am. “I’m not like that.” “I don’t do that.” “No, I never feel that way.” Sometimes it’s the truth, sometimes it’s an outright lie. God forbid anyone else on the planet relates to me or is just like me. That was another clue – I could not relate to any of the heart types. And someone laughed and said, “A 4, not ‘relating’ to anything. Oh, the irony.”

So, there’s your insight into a 4, if you need it. ;)

Good luck.

As a fellow 6w7-user, I know the pain it is to find your gut and heart center. ;)

- ENFP Mod

PS: The order of the lower fixes doesn’t matter as much as getting your core type right. You should order them according to which ones influence you MOST.

#question #enneagram #enneagram 6 #6w7