#i don't care about the stupid fucking vinyl or the fabric or art or school or work

[somelazyassartist]

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#i know i should finish eating but honestly i think I'd rather throw the rest in the trash #i don't feel like eating #i fucking lost weight again #no matter what i fucking try i keep losing weight #i went back to just under 90 pounds #I've got a bmi of fucking 14.2 #if i drop to a bmi of 13 I'm supposed to be hospitalized #i might as well let it fucking happen I'm not getting better anyways who gives a fuck #i just want to sit here and starve and i don't give a shit anymore #i don't care about the stupid fucking vinyl or the fabric or art or school or work #i don't give a fuck about anything right now i just want to lock myself in my room and wait the few days it'll take me to starve #I'm already halfway fucking there i don't give a shit anymore #i don't give a fucking shit about anything anymore #I'm never going to get better anyways who fucking cares I'm never going to gain weight I'm never going to walk properly #I'm never going to animate or act in plays or live with my best friends #i couldn't guarantee I'd survive until then anyways that's years down the line if I'm still losing weight after trying this hard to gain it #then I'm never going to be able to gain weight I'll just be postponing the inevitable I'm just going to starve in the next year anyways no #no matter what i try to do to stop it #better to make it a quick few days than drag it out hoping to make it when i know i won't #i just want to fucking die #I'm never going to get better #what's the point in trying #vent